My Little RPG

by Flash Notion

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Other, Sex, Random, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6
Length: 5753

A group of girls get together to play an RPG. Friendship, harmony, and major butt-kicking ensues. Sex tag for dialogue only.

What if...

Friendship is Magic was the animated version of a series of tabletop RPG campaigns? What follows are transcripts of recordings showing what those campaigns might've been like...

As far as I know, FiM was not based on an RPG. I just thought the idea was cool.

Sex tag for some dirty talk/implications.

I hope this is actually somewhat funny.

Published 2017-11-23 05:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-21 23:54:08 UTC

Session 1, Part 1; The Groundwork

Author's Note

Tyra ==> Twilight
Bella ==> Rarity
Abbigail ==> Applejack
Diane ==> Pinkie Pie
Rayanna ==> Rainbow Dash
Fleur ==> Fluttershy
Sadie ==> Spike
Suri, the DM ==> any NPC, and another character who might appear later (if this continues)

Session 1, Part 1; The Groundwork

Ponies the RPG

Session 1 transcript.

Part 1 of 3

Recording starts.

“Is it working? Are we recording?”

“I think so...”

“Move over, you're in my elbow room.”

“Can somebody lend me some dice, I left mine at home.”

“Ouch! Really, Bee?”

“I'm sorry, Ray, but we can't all wear our hair as short as yours.”

“You could.”

“Yeah!”

“D-Diane! Please put the scissors down!”

“Pfft. Party pooper.”

(door opens)

“Okay, okay. Everyone calm down.”

(shuffling)

(scraping noises)

…

“Is that a digital recorder?”

“Uh-huh.”

…

“Why?”

“I thought it would be fun.”

(deep inhale)

“Ooookay. Look, we're starting a new campaign today. Everybody got their character sheets?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Yep!”

“Oh yeah.”

“Okay, so everyone's good.”

“Um- I forgot my dice.”

“Crap. Who can lend Fleur some dice?”

“I've got an extra set.”

“Prepared as ever, Tyra. Are we good now?”

“I think so.”

“Great. Lets go around the table and introduce our characters. Sadie, you start.”

“Okay, so, I'm a young dragonborn, but my egg was taken and I wasn't hatched until I was in the regular world, so now I'm, I dunno, servant class or something.”

…

“What kind of breath?”

“It teleports small objects.”

“What, like rocks?”

“Um- I guess?”

“Right. Sounds okay.”

“I'm a mage-type.”

“Tyra, you were a mage last time.”

“Your point?”

…

“Okay, but if you achieve god-hood again, I'm switching out. You'll be the DM, and I'll play my character.”

“What character?”

“I'm not telling.”

“Hrumph. Well, my mage has been studying magic her whole life, and doesn't really get people. She's kind of got a 'must save the world' complex.”

…

“Yeah, I'm gonna have to nerf that.”

“What? How?”

“Hmm. How about... how about if, every turn, I roll a d10 to see if you get inflicted by bouts of incompetency?”

“Lemme guess, and then I have to roll to see how bad it is?”

“Only if I come up zeroes.”

“Ooh, ooh! I've read this story before-”

“Shut it, Diane.”

“Nyeah!”

“Can we please act our ages?”

…

“What about it, Tyra?”

(grumbling)

“Okay, sure.”

“Me next!”

“Um-I think it's my turn.”

“Go ahead, Fleur.”

“My, um, character, is very shy.”

…

“Okay...”

“And, um, she really likes animals...”

…

“Anything else?”

…

“Okay, Bella, you're up.”

“Gladly. My character runs a fashion empire! She started-”

This part of the session will be cut out, as Bella spent a long time describing the life of her character. More than half an hour. A break was called. The group ordered a pizza.

Much later:

“-And now she and her wondrous clothing are recognized world-wide!”

…

…

“Yeah, I'm not writing all that down.”

“Oh, come on!”

“What? That was like, fifty pages of material.”

“But- but-”

“I'm not doing that.”

“You must.”

“No.”

“Ah, come on, Suri. It was a pretty good backstory.”

“It was practically a novel. Plus, it would make her character way older than most of the others. I'm all for party differences, but I was kind of hoping to make all your characters be friends.”

“My character doesn't have time for friends. She's too busy studying.”

“Dammit, Tyra, it's called character development!”

…

(grumbling)

“Sorry. Look, Bella, appreciate all the thought. But can we, I dunno, cut it down? Or maybe just pick a spot earlier on in her life to make the 'present'?”

“I suppose...”

“There was this part in here where she was working in a small town-”

“Thanks, Abby. That sounds like a great spot.”

“Now is it my turn?”

(sigh)

“Yes, Diane.”

“Great! So, close your eyes. Look deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep into your mind. Picture this:”

…

“I'm a baker.”

…

…

“Seriously?”

“Whaaaaat?”

“Come on guys, I can't do all the work.”

…

“What if she's a clown?”

“Oh, my. Clowns are scary.”

“No way, they go to birthday parties and stuff. That can be her thing. She bakes for parties, and then crashes the parties or something.”

“That sounds fun!”

“What if she plans the parties?”

“A party-planning baker-clown?”

“I love it!”

“Fine. Just- Abby?”

“I'm a farmer, and I live outside of the town. Me and my siblings live with our grandma. And I've got a big family. One of those that's spread all over the place and goes back ages.”

“Sounds great. How many siblings?”

“Uh- A brother and a sister, I guess. One of each sounds good. Like our parents loved each other, but weren't a couple a horn-dogs.”

“You said 'were'. Are your parents dead?”

…

“Let's leave that open.”

“Right. That just leaves- Ray?”

“Saving the best for last?”

“I'd like to play the game today...”

“Fine. I'm a flier. I'm the fastest around, and I'm in charge of the magical weather.”

“Hang on- the fastest. That would mean a possibly infinitely high speed stat. You can't do that.”

…

“Gimme the dice.”

“Shit.”

“Gimme.”

(shuffling)

(dice rolled on table)

“Ha!”

“No way!”

“Holy crap!”

“Amazing.”

…

“Okay. Whatever dice-god you bribed, it's working.”

When asked about the incident, Suri declared that Rayanna had thrown three nat 20's at once. This scribe remains skeptical, but there is no evidence to refute the claim.

“So, the fastest flier.”

“Oh yeah. Hang on- check the rulebook. Isn't there some legend about fliers with superspeed?”

…

“Yes...”

“I want-”

“Fine! But that's for later. Is there anything else to add before we start the story?”

“I'm trying to join this elite flying squadron. Only the best of the best can join.”

“And why isn't your character in it yet, Miss Fastest Flier?”

“Because you wouldn't allow it for one.”

“Damn right!”

…

“And for two, my character's still pretty young. I'd say maybe even the youngest here.”

…

“Fair enough. Okay, I think we're ready to start. Let's roll for play order and-”

“Whoops!”

“Tyra, what- Oh.”

“Sorry.”

“Shit, can she re-roll?”

“No.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Again?”

“Darn it!”

“I believe I should have a chance at being the main character.”

“Sorry, guys. But she rolled it fair and square. Okay, Tyra- Twilight. Looks like you're our protagonist.”

…

(shuffling)

…

…

“Okay. Everyone ready?”

(noises of affirmation)

“Okay. So, our story begins...”

Transcript interrupted. The scribe requires a break.

Session 1, Part 2; Making Friends

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Session 1, Part 3: Off The Rails

Author's Note

I read the feedback. It was somewhat painful, but I've gone through and color coded all the dialogue. Including the previous chapters. Enjoy!

Session 1, Part 3: Off The Rails

Ponies the RPG

Session 1 transcript.

Part 3 of 3

Ah, great nap. Let's keep going.

“Mwah ha ha ha ha!”

“Okay, I think the evil laugh has gone on long enough."

“Ah ha ha ha-”

“Suri!”

“Jeez, fine. Okay, so we've got our villain. Everybody roll for initiative.”

(multiple dice rolls)

“Rainbow tries to attack, but Applejack holds her down. Pinkie tries to strike up a conversation and fails. Spike faints, and everyone else is too scared to do anything except stand there and maybe wet the carpet a little.”

“Gross.”

“Agreed.”

…

“There are a couple of solar guards stationed here by the princess. They both try to attack Nightmare Moon.”

(dice rolls)

“She blasts them with lightning. Then she decides she's messed around at this little gathering long enough, turns back into smoke, and flies out the window.”

“I roll for initiative!”
“I roll for initiative!”

…

“Tyra first, since she's the main character.”

(dice rolls)

“I grab Spike and run outside.”

(dice rolls)

“Well I fly out the window after Nightmare Moon.”

“At that point, Rainbow sees Twilight running away. She snorts at her cowardice and keeps flying-”

“Hang on.”

…

“What?”

“Twilight's running away?”

“Er- well, she didn't say she was specifically running after Nightmare Moon, so I just-”

“In that case, I'm suspicious of why not. I fly after her.”

…

“Okay. Um. Twilight, where are you running?”

“Back to the library. I have to learn more about Nightmare Moon. And find a way to wake up Spike.”

…

…

“Twilight enters her library. She has no way on hand to actually wake up Spike, so she puts him to bed.”

“Wait, am I not in this story?”

…

“Er-”

“That's bullshit!”

“Hey!”

“I'm a freaking dragon! I could be super useful!”

…

“He should come with us, I think.”

…

“Let's do this. Roll to see how long it takes Spike, a baby by dragonborn standards, to recover from a night of partying and then seeing our BBEG.”

“Fine!”

(dice roll)

“Yes! Nat twenty.”

…

…

“What?”

“Sadie, that means it'll be 20 rounds until Spike wakes up.”

…

“I...”

“Sorry.”

“Shit.”

(coughing)

…

“Let's go back. Twilight, you're searching the books for...”

“For information about Nightmare Moon or the Elements of Harmony. I guess I roll perception?”

“Mmm. Incompetency.”

“Oh.”

(dice roll)

(sigh)

“Well, you don't manage to find the book. Then Rainbow crashes into the room, and starts asking what you know about this situation.”

“At this point, nothing.”

“I don't believe you. Spill it!”

“Did the rest of us notice Rainbow and Twilight leaving?”

“Roll perception.”

(dice rolls)

“Right, so me and the rest of the gals follow these two to the library. I pull Rainbow back- again.”

“I ask her- much nicer- what she's looking for.”

“I'm looking for a book to tell me about the Elements of Harmony. According to legend, they're what stopped Nightmare Moon in the past.”

“I know where to look!”

“Where, Pinkie?”

“Under the letter 'E'!”

…

“How-”

“Incompetency.”

“Oh. Right.”

…

“I look where Pinkie pointed and I grab out the correct book. I read it out loud.”

“Upon reading it, you discover that the Elements of Harmony are physical representations of six ideals, but only five are known. They are Loyalty, Honesty, Kindness, Generosity, and Laughter. When those five unite, a 'spark' will ignite to reveal the sixth Element.”

“Cool.”

“Indeed.”

“Does the book say where the Elements are?”

…

“Yes. They were last seen in an ancient castle, located on the other side of the dangerous Everfree Forest.”

“Okay. Well, I'm going to that castle next.”

“Great idea. The journey will take a while, since you have to go around the forest...”

“Why?”

…

“Excuse me?”

“Why do I have to go around the forest?”

…

“B-because it's dangerous. Like, really dangerous. It's supposed to be one of the most dangerous places in the game!”

“But wouldn't it be quicker to just go through the forest to the castle?”

…

“Yes...”

“I go through the forest.”

…

“You know what? Fine. Who's going with her?”

“I'm in.”

“Wait, what?”

“I'd like to see this castle.”

“Hang on-”

“Shoot, count me in, too.”

“Wait-”

“I should really grab some snacks first.”

“Well, if you're all going, I suppose I could come, too.”

“Girls!”

…

…

“Nobody's coming with me. My character doesn't get along with others. She won't let any of you come.”

“No way we're letting you go in there alone.”

“Hold on. Everyone, roll for persuasion.”

“No!”

(multiple dice rolls)

…

“Twilight...”

(grumbling)

(dice roll)

…

“Twilight fails to get the others to leave. The six of you travel together to the edge of the Everfree forest, and after a slight hesitation, follow a thin trail into the woods. Twilight is in the lead with the map.”

“She's not going to lead us off a cliff or anything, is she?”

…

“Not right now.”

“Thank goodness.

…

“What's with that face?”

“Heh heh. The trail leads you alongside a ravine, with a steep rock wall on the other side. Unseen by any of you, a cloud of blue smoke phases through the stone under the path. A moment later, the ground begins to rumble, then falls out from under you!”

“I grab a branch!”

“Um- I can fly. But I go help... I'll help Rarity.”

“Thank you, Darling.”

“I've got Pinkie!”

“I would've been fine, but thanks Dashie.”

…

“Twilight, roll.”

“For agility? Strength?”

…

“Oh.”

(dice rolls)

(relieved sigh)

“You don't manage to stop your fall, but you do manage to grab the new cliff edge. You're struggling to hold yourself up.”

“I go to help her.”

“Roll strength.”

“Thirteen.”

“Hmm. Considering Twilight's weight-”

“Hey!”

“Sorry, you don't have the leverage you need to pull her up.”

…

(whispers)

…

“Okay, Twilight, I'm going to let you go. You need to let go of the cliff.”

“What!”

“Trust me, you'll be fine.”

“No she won't, with that fall and her stats-”

“Suri, you, too. I'm telling the truth- she'll be fine.”

…

“I let go of the cliff.”

“Me and Fluttershy catch her in midair!”

“We both rolled- 15 and 18.”

“Fine. Twilight, they grab you and set you down at the bottom of the ravine.”

…

(dice rolls)

“I hop down the rock fall and join the others.”

“Great! We're all safe. According to the map, the trail follows the ravine before the two eventually merge, so we can just keep going.”

“I never-”

“You just dropped us off the cliff. Give me this one.”

…

“I guess.”

“I also do a perception check.”

(dice rolls)

“Drat.”

“You fail to see the blue smoke continue to follow you.”

“Whatever.”

…

“After a little while, your reach a clearing. Suddenly, a ferocious roar splits the dead air. A manticore jumps out of the bushes, and roars again!”

“I kick him in the face!”

…

“Are you sure you want to-”

“If you all remember, at this point Rarity has learned martial arts.”

“I can honestly say I didn't remember that.”

“Well, it's true. I will now put those skills to use! I kick the manticore in the face.”

…

“Roll.”

(dice rolls)

“Oh dear.”

“The manticore is enraged further. He swipes at you-”

“I run away!”

“And I wrangle him.”

“Excuse me?”

“Like a cow. I jump on that bucker's back.”

…

“You'll need a nat 20 to hold on.”

(dice rolls)

…

“Crap.”

“The manticore throws you off. Who's next?”

…

“Me?”

(murmuring)

“Go ahead, Fleur.”

“Okay. Well, manticores aren't super territorial. So something must've upset him into attacking us. I roll perception.”

(dice rolls)

“You see that the manticore is favoring his left paw...”

“I slowly approach him, making calming noises.”

“He allows you to get closer.”

“I check his paw.”

“Turns out there's a five-inch thorn embedded in the meat of it.”

(hisses of sympathy)

“I pull the thorn out.”

…

“Okay. The manticore is so relieved, he acts like a giant kitten and licks your cheek.”

“Yay.”

…

“Can we move on now?”

…

“Yeah.”

“Right. Everybody, let's head on out.”

…

“A little ways further, and you encounter a river so wild it looks like the rapids before a waterfall. But there is no waterfall. There's a giant sea serpent, crying and stirring up the waves!”

“I kick him in the face!”

(groans)

“Rarity, that didn't work last time.”

“I know. But last time I completely botched that roll. This time it could work!”

“Maybe try something else.”

“Like what?”

“Like, asking him why he's crying?”

“Yes, you do that dear. When he eats you, the rest of us shall fight him off.”

“I ask him why he's crying.”

“Roll charisma.”

(dice rolls)

…

…

“To everyone's surprise, he answers.

(Suri speaking as serpent)

“I saw this strange blue cloud, and it- er...”

“What?”

“Give me a second, I wasn't planning on a conversation.”

…

“M'kay, uh.”

(clears throat)

“It cut off my moo-stache!”

…

“The snake has a mustache?”

…

“Yes?”

…

…

“Okay.”

“What are you going to do now, now that you know what terrible tragedy has befallen this creature?”

“I'm going to ki-”

“Rarity, no.”

“Ahem. If you allow me to finish, I was going to say, I cut off- er... my ponytail?”

…

“With what?”

“Mmm.”

…

“That serpent's scales oughta be pretty sharp.”

“An excellent point. Thank you, Applejack. I rip out one of his scales!”

“What the hug!”

…

“Just roll strength and lets move on.”

(dice rolls)

“I rip out a scale, and use it to cut off my ponytail, and then I use my magic to graft it into place of his mustache.”

“She can do that?”

“I'll allow it.”

(grumbling)

“Hey, this is all being made up on the fly, since you all decided to go through the forest. I had plenty planned for the journey around. Not this.”

“Fair enough, I guess.”

“In thanks for repairing his sweet 'stache, the serpent helps you cross the river. You continue on your way, the forest darkening around you.”

“Spoopy.”

“Please.”

“Ahem. Once the forest is totally dark, not a hint of moonlight, the trees seem to move...”

“Spoopy-er!”

“And then faces appear on the trunks, horrible, monstrous faces like something out of your worst dreams!”

(snort)

…

“What, Diane?”

“Not me! Pinkie Pie!”

“Huh?”

“Pinkie laughs at the silly faces.”

…

“Okay...”

“I'm basically a bard, right?”

…

“I feel like I'm going to regret this, but yes.”

“I sing a happy song to make everyone forget how spooky this is, and we all laugh until our laughter makes all the evil tree faces explode!”

…

“Roll for it. Two d10's.”

(dice roll)

…

“Hug it. You are all so filled with joy by Pinkie's song that you start laughing, and the sound of your laughter annoys the trees to the point that they all spontaneously combust. Miraculously, none of you get so much as a splinter, and you continue on your way.”

“This is weird.”

“How do you think I feel?”

“Okay. So, following the map, we should be almost there...”

“Yes, fine. You can see the castle ahead. Twilight, roll.”

“Again?”

“Yes.”

(sigh)

(dice roll)

“You run ahead, and almost fall off another cliff. There's a chasm between you and the castle, and the bridge that was there has broken.”

“I fly over and fix the bridge.”

…

“Hug!”

…

“Okay, so Rainbow flies over to fix the bridge. One the other side, a thick fog rolls in. Three shapes appear. It's the Shadowbolts, an elite flying team! They want Rainbow to join them.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yep. All you have to do is go with them and leave the bridge not fixed.”

…

“Obvious trap, here.”

“Your character doesn't have the common sense to notice.”

“Okay, but that doesn't mean I'm dumb enough to leave my friends.”

“They're a very persuasive group.”

…

“Let's roll for it.”

“Sounds good.”

(dice roll)

“Sweet! So, I ignore their very tempting offer, and fix the bridge.”

…

“Yes, you do that. The fog and fliers disappear after, and the six of you walk over to the castle.”

“I enter the castle.”

“It's nothing but ruins, overgrown with moss and vines. The walls are crumbling around you, it feels like. In front of you is a sculpture, with five orbs sitting on pedestals that stick out of the main pillar at different heights.”

…

“I roll perception.”

(dice roll)

“You detect a residual magic emanating from the sculpture, indicating that it has something to do with the Elements of Harmony.”

“So, the orbs are the Elements?”

“I didn't say-”

“Girls, we have to get those orbs down.”

(multiple dice rolls)

“All good on strength checks. We grab those babies and bring 'em down.”

“Now, it'll take a spark to find the last one. Did anyone bring a lighter?”

“Hang on-”

“Nope, no lighter.”

“Okay. Then I'll have to use magic. This'll require concentration, and it would probably be safer if you guys were outside...”

“We'll all leave.”

“Okay, so I sit down and try to make magic sparks over the stones.”

…

…

“What part of 'I didn't say those were the Elements' did you not get?”

…

“So they're not the Elements?”

…

“Well...”

“Sweet!”

“You weren't supposed to find them this soon! You were supposed to conclude that they'd been moved, and then go on a quest through the castle to find them. I wanted to wrap it up for the day. Then we could've come back and had a big, epic adventure.”

…

“Oops.”

“Yeah, oops. Okay, well, your magic sparks don't work. But all this gives the blue smoke time to appear, and it starts swirling around you like a tornado. A moment later, you and the Elements vanish.”

“We all run inside, worried about what's happening.”

“You were supposed to stay outside, for safety!”

“You can't tell them that, you're not there.”

“Well where am I?”

…

(shuffling papers)

“You and the Elements were teleported to a different room. Standing in front of you, holding the Elements, is Nightmare Moon.”

“Uh oh.”

“Roll initiative.”

(dice roll)

“Nice.”

“I charge at Nightmare Moon, magic ready.”

“She is surprised at first, but quickly recovers and charges, too.”

“Just before we run into each other, I teleport.”

(incoherent shouts)

“She can do that?”

“Sadly enough, yes. But she has to roll a d4 to check her stress. Too low or too high and she won't be able to focus on the spell.”

(dice roll)

“I teleport over to the Elements and try to activate them again.”

…

“Yeah, that fails, too. Nightmare Moon turns into smoke and flies back over, smacking you away. Then she stomps on the ground, and the Elements shatter.”

“What!”

“Yep.”

…

“Shit.”

…

“Where are we?”

“Uh-”

“I saw the magic lights coming from another part of the castle, and we run off to save Twilight!”

“Good enough for me. Now all six of you are here, and you're about to get murdered by Nightmare Moon. Because there's no way any of you, or all of you, are high enough level yet to take her on.”

…

...

“What about the Elements of Harmony?”

“What about them?”

“Can't we use them?”

…

“Tyra, they're shattered. Nightmare Moon destroyed them.”

“No she didn't. I mean, yeah, she sorta did, but remember the book? It said the Elements were just the physical versions of some bigger thing.”

“Uh-”

“Yeah, I remember. There were five known- Loyalty, Honesty, Kindness, Generosity, and Laughter. Well, Applejack was pretty honest when she told me I'd be safe letting go of the cliff. Fluttershy was really kind to that manticore. Rarity gave up her hair for the sea serpent. Pinkie made all our characters laugh at the tree demons. And Rainbow didn't abandon us on the bridge.”

“So?”

“So, they each represent an Element!”

“I guess...”

“And magic is energy, right? Energy cannot be created or destroyed. So therefore it has to go somewhere. The magic from the Elements should go to the nearest compatible hosts: my- my...”

…

“Your what?”

“My friends.”

…

“You're all Twilight's friends!”

“Ah, shucks.”

“I'm serious. You stubbornly stuck by her side through this whole quest, braved all kinds of dangers because you guys believed in what she was doing. If you're not friends, I dunno what you are!”

“Okay, but what does that-”

“Friendship and Harmony are the same thing! I get it now- the spark was supposed to be a spark of realization. I just had it! And that means that the sixth Element should appear!”

…

(papers shuffling)

“Fine. The sixth Element is Magic, the wonder of friendship realized. You all represent the Elements, so their magic goes to you. Now what?”

“Now we kick butt!”

“That's exactly right! The six of us stand together and concentrate on just our friendship.”

(sigh)

“As you do that, Nightmare Moon mockingly laughs at you. Then, to her surprise, the shards of the former Elements begin to move. They fly over to you six, and re-form into sparkling jewels in the shape of your crests, embedded in golden filigree. Most of you get necklaces, and Twilight gets a crown. Then a giant rainbow laser beam of friendship doom shoots out, smacks into Nightmare Moon, and pours liquid friendship down her throat.”

…

“That sounds like it should be pretty cool, but your deadpan delivery didn't sell it.”

“Too bad. After a full minute, the beams shut off, and everybody opens their eyes to look at the pretty jewelry.”

“Neat-o!”

“Meanwhile, the night finally ends and the sun rises on what will probably be the shortest day of the year, and the Princess of the Sun appears.”

“Since she's my teacher, I run over and greet her.”

“Hello, Twilight. I knew all along you could do it.”

“Defeat Nightmare Moon?”

“Well, yes, but in doing so, make some friends!”

…

“Cool.”

“Okay. Let's wrap this up. So Princess Celestia congratulates you all, then she walks over to where Nightmare Moon was. Instead, there's now a much younger looking, but still regal, figure.”

“Ooh, ooh, who is it?”

“It's Princess Luna, Celestia's younger sister, returned to her pre-Nightmare Moon form. She's been purged of the darkness that turned her evil. Celestia forgives her, and the two hug it out.”

This is a genuine use of the word hug. Please don't misinterpret the sentence.

“That's cute.”

“Now lets have a party to celebrate!”

“Um-”

“I can get down with that.”

“Yes, with two princesses here, we should be able to get out of the woods much faster than when we got in.”

“Er- okay. Celestia teleports everyone back to Blandsville, and Pinkie immediately sets up a party.”

“I'd just like to point out that I'm upset that I didn't get to do anything this campaign.”

“You should be happy. Your character slept through the hard parts and gets to wake up to another party.”

…

“Okay. Can I flirt with Rarity?”

“No!”
“No!”
“No!”

...

“You know, I just realized I don't have a special ability.”

…

“Whaddya mean?”

“Like Twilight and her magic, Rarity and her fighting, Fluttershy can talk to animals. Pinkie isn't like that.”

…

“What do you have in mind?”

“Hmm. What if I were a shape-shifter?”

“No. Too powerful.”

“Aww. Well, then- what if I can just ignore the laws of physics if I get a nat 20?”

…

“That sounds even worse, but I'm tempted.”

…

“How about if you can only do it... whenever you roll double zeroes on two d10's, for a hundred?”

“Sure!”

“Okay, so that's sorted.”

…

(shuffling papers)

…

“Can I roll for meta knowledge?”

“What.”

“Seriously.”

…

“Go for it.”

(dice roll)

…

“Your character now knows everything you know, including that she's just a character in a game and that she will cease to exist the moment the game stops being played. Why you would want your character to know this, I don't know.”

“Yay! Well, now the campaign's over."

"Thank god."

"Can I shut off the-”

The recording ended here. If other such recordings appear in the future, I will happily transcribe them for others' enjoyment. Bye for now!

Session 2, Part 1: Re-Dux

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.