It was a bad day for Flight-Colonel Rainbow Dash to take a walk on the clouds.

The Griffonese rifle was FAR superior to the Equestrian rifle. The Griffonese rifle used five-bullet clips, was semi-automatic, was reliable, and best [Or worst, If you root for the Ponies], of all, ACCURATE, at least compared to other rifles at the time. The Equestrian rifle was single shot, rather unreliable, and the standard issue rifle SURE AS HELL couldn’t hit a small, blue and rainbow target known for being fast, at a distance of HUNDREDS of meters.

The first bullet hit in the right shoulder, which was enough to register surprize from everyone within eyeshot. The second bullet hit in the right foreleg, blowing out a large chunk of muscle with it was it passed through. The third would’ve missed had Rainbow Dash not been about to hover. It hit in the right wing, and managed to hit- and puncture- the main bone of the wing. The fourth passed through the chest, through a lung, and the fifth- and final- bullet wound up getting stuck in the neck.

In reality, this happened in real time. And in real time, Dash was about to have a nice, relaxing race around the base, then five shots, as in “B-B-B-B-BANG”, rang out, and five bullets ripped through her half a second later. The blood was everywhere, and everyone started screaming for a medic.

A great shout went up from the Griffonese lines. They had a confirmed kill! The Wonderbolt’s administrator was gone! THE RAIDS ON THEIR LINES WERE OVER!

Right?

Right?

No. Only two of those were right. Rainbow Dash survived, for now, at least. She was evacuated via emergency teleport administered by the Princess Twilight. But without a commander, there was nobody to co-ordinate the raids, and soon, the Wonderbolt base was gone. And once more, The Emperor's Harpsichords played their haunting tune.

Three days after initial attack, Everfree forest, Ponyville, Equestria.

Conrad NEVER smoked before the war. But after a week in the woods, he had to find SOMETHING to do. And, to be honest, he felt just a Tiny bit jealous of the soldiers at the front. AT least THEY got to engage in combat on a semi-daily basis. But if we even YELL too loud...

Well, the general had proven that yelling wasn't going to be a problem in giving their position away.

As Conrad lit up his fourth cigarette since lunch, and Lolek lectured him about his bad smoking habits, there was suddenly a shout.

"ENEMY INFANTRY! APPROACHING THE EVERFREE!"

Everybody scrambled to the tank. Conrad lamented that he dropped his cigarette while putting on his tank helmet, but this wasn't the time for regrets. Next to his tank, he saw that the Engineers were taking no chances and loaded chains of ammo into the machine guns on the half tracks. With the sudden panic, everyone ended up scattered around, and Lolek ended up in the middle of Conrad's company. Over the radio, there was an order to load cannons. Lolek started, but got suspicious about something. He picked up a pair of binoculars and started looking at the enemy infantry. "Lolek? Is something wrong?"

"Shh! SHH! One second..."

Lolek threw down the binoculars. "STOP! STOP IT! IT'S CIVILIANS! CIVILIANS!"

After having their town shelled non-stop for a week, a large chunk of the [remaining] population had had ENOUGH. Dying in the Everfree was better than dying in some rubble. So, they packed their bags and made for the forest.

But as we know, there were two whole armies in the forest, and unlike a packed elevator, there is no "Room for one more"

Minutes before Civilians give their position away, Everfree, Ponyville, Equestria.

General Jimmy took a swig of vodka. "You mean to- to say that *Hic* there's hundreds of civilians outside- and- and-"

He took a second to vomit into a tank helmet he had.

The General's radioman, Shigeru, patted him on the back. "There ya go, c'mon, get it all out."

His second in command watched. "Yes, general. Hundreds of civilians, almost about to enter the forest. And should you really be drinking that much-"

The General got up, took the radio, and put it to the all-units frequency.

Conrad sat at his tank, playing with the loading mechanism, which he PROBABLY SHOULDN'T DO, and Lolek wove some grass into a pattern. Suddenly, the radios sprang to life.

"All units... This- is- is- is- *Hic* emergency oH GOD-"

After what sounded like vomiting, then large gulps of something, He continued.

"I've just received *Hic* word that the enemy is at our- at our- our gates."

"Wow, just received word?" said Conrad sarcastically. "Right on the ball there, sir!"

"And let it be know that *Hic* I can hear you too, damMIT OH GOD-"

And again vomiting could be heard. "Maybe we should just turn this off." Said Lolek, and the radioman started to turn the dial, when suddenly, the General started again.

"I have just one word for you all... *Hic* ...two words."

"FUCK EM!"

And the smash of a bottle against a table could be heard. Then movement. Then, "Sir, you shouldn't drive a tank when you're this... inebriated."

Then: "Fuck that, I signed up for career to kick ass, not sit around in a forest! URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Then, motors started, and a few platoons down you could see the General's tank driving off. Seeing this, Conrad and Lolek scrambled for their tanks, and soon, everyone was racing after the General, to Ponyville. And soon, everyone was repeating the General's war cry:

"URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Author's Note

And so, the blitz of Ponyville begins. Drunkenly. WHAT A STORY FOR THE PAPERS!