Pinkie Pie Parties with a Frat House
Pinkie Pie Parties with a Frat House
Long story short: Pinkie Pie suddenly materializes in front of three fraternity college students as they busily prepare for a party. Well, to the fraternity members the term "prepare for party" basically means "clean up the mess from the party the night before". Pinkie was confused at first, but seeing that she has just met three beings she's never seen before, she's decided to give them her "Pinkie Pie" introduction.
"Hey, guys! Let's have a grand party tonight! There'll be singing and dancing and cake! Lots and lots of cake! Streamers, balloons, candy, punch, candy-flavored punch, and, best of all, party music! So what do you all say? Want to party with me?" Pinkie screams aloud in ebullience.
The three fraternity guys look at each other for a second, then stare back at Pinkie Pie with similar-looking smirks.
"You pink blob of a thing-whatever-you-are, you're partying with us tonight!" the most physically built of the three shouted.
The three members of one of the most famous party fraternities in the nation high five each other, wooing and bear-hugging until they all start bouncing up and down while chanting "Party, party, party, party, party!"
Pinkie, realizing she's going to be partying tonight with three excitable individuals that seem to also enjoy partying, began to bounce up and down at a rhythm matching the three frat guys.
"Party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party!!!" the four cheered in unison, bouncing up and down while holding each other tightly. The three frat guys brought Pinkie into the middle and they all started hugging her tightly (to the point where she ran out of breath).
Well, they squeezed a little too hard, because she passed out cold, apparently having suffered from lack of oxygen.
The most built of the three frat guys, noticing the pink blob of a thing-whatever-she-was wasn't cheering anymore, caught a glance at her tongue hanging out and eyes rolled back. Shocked, he pushed the other two guys aside. Pinkie collapsed onto the fraternity house floor, unconscious and sprawled out with her head facing the ceiling.
"Oh, shit, we killed it!"
"Nah, she's just out." one of the frat guys dismissed the scene.
"It's practice for later tonight, right?" one of the frat guys held up his hand and nodded for approval.
"Yeah, baby! That's right!" the other frat boy laughed and high-fived with passion.
"Oh, yeah! So, come on, let's get this place set up!"
"What about that thing?" one of the frat guys pointed to the still knocked-out Pinkie Pie.
"Leave it. It'll be up for the real fiesta, anyway!"
An hour later...
Pinkie awoke groggily to the hip-hop music being blasted throughout the fraternity house.
Coughing, Pinkie muttered aloud. "What happened?"
"Hey, pink blob-thing! You're up! Ready to party?! Other people will start showing up soon. It's a Friday night, after all!"
Pinkie immediately jumped in an excited manner. "Ooooh! I love Fridays! One of the best party nights ever! And Saturday, too! And Monday! And Tuesday! And Wednes-!"
"Hahaha! Okay, we get it, blob!" frat boy #1 chuckled.
"By the way, what's your name, blob?" frat boy #2 asked.
"Wait, is blob your real name?" frat boy #3 wondered aloud.
"No, silly. My name is Pinkie Pie, the best party-pony in Ponyville!"
"Party-pony? Hey, I like that! You're name's now Party-Pony! Got it?! Hahaha!" frat boy #1 shouted in great excitement.
"Well, Ponyville or whatever doesn't compare to the best party house in the world, Party-Pony!" frat boy #2 proudly stated.
"That's right, baby! Alpha Kappa Kai!!! We're number one in the nation!” frat boy #3 marked.
"The world, you idiot! The world!" frat boy #2 corrected.
"Cool! Alpha Kappa Kai sounds fun! Like flavors of cupcakes!" Pinkie Pie bounced excitedly, once again.
"Boys! Let's show this Party-Pony the way Alpha Kappa Kai parties!"
"YEAH, BABY!!!"
"PARTY! PARTY! PARTY-"
"Yo, they're here!"
"Oh, goody!" Pinkie Pie squealed in glee.
Twenty minutes later...
The frat house was packed. Many college kids and random adults showed up, at first shocked by Pinkie's presence, but somehow accepted her existence after some reassurance by the three frat guys that met her first.
"She's cool, dude. She's just here to have a fun time." frat boy #1 reassured a skeptical guest.
"I don't know, dude. She looks creepy and weirdly not real-like." the skeptic stepped back from Pinkie Pie.
"But I am real! And I just want to party with the greatest partiers in the world!" Pinkie bounced in the skeptic's face.
"Ahh!" the skeptic screamed. "Wh-what are you?"
"Yo, if you're going to have problems, get out and you'll never party with us again!" frat guy #2 spat.
The skeptic's eye's widened. "No! No! I mean, h-hello, pink...thing. What's your name?"
Pinkie squealed. "My name's Pinkie Pi-!"
"The name's Party-Pony." frat guy #1 cut off Pinkie.
Pinkie looked at frat guy #1, and then turned to the skeptic with a huge smile. "That's me: Party-Pony! I really do love partying!"
"YEAH, BABY!" chimed in frat guy #2.
The skeptic-turned-present partier grinned. "Then let's get you a shot, Party-Pony!"
"Ooooooh! Are we going to shoot each other with bubblegum slingshots?" Pinkie gasped in excitement.
"No! Shots with TEQUILA!!!" frat guy #3 shouted and ran to the kitchen to grab a bottle of liquor.
"Oooooh! A new candy I've never tried!"
"Never tried tequila?!" frat guy #1 almost choked! "Yo, bring two bottles!"
"Ah, I get it. You're the vodka type, right?" frat guy #2 smiled to himself. "Me, too."
"Vod...ka? Is that a new flavor of cake?" Pinkie's eyes widened in sheer curiosity.
Silence.
"Yo, bring everything!!!"
Ten minutes later...
Over 50 bottles of liquor are grouped up on a table before Pinkie Pie, who eyes seven shots - in varying colors laid out before her - in pure curiosity and anticipation. Over forty people are huddled around the table (the rest of the partiers are out and about, dancing and socializing amongst themselves) Pinkie stands on, while the three main frat guys stand before the huddled partiers with arms raised.
"Alright, everyone!" frat guy #1 grabs the people's attention. "Yo, cut off the music! Get ready to put on "Shots!"
The music stops. The rest of the partiers stop dancing and huddle around the rest of the crowd.
Fray guy #3 stands beside Pinkie Pie and points to her pink mane. "This pink one is Party-Pony! It's her first party with Alpha Kappa Kai! YEAH!"
Everyone cheers loudly, whistling and holding up their cups of alcohol in their hands.
"Party-Pony calls herself the best partier in Ponyville! OH, YEAH!!!" frat guy #2 shouts aloud to the crowd.
The crowd of partiers cheer and “woot” once again, but this time not particularly understanding what was just said. Who cares, though?! These guys are providing an open bar!!!
"And can you believes she's never had a shot?!" frat guy #2 shrieks, apparently freaked out of his own mind at the ridiculousness that this little pony has never partaken in such a party tradition.
The crowd now gasps while a few partiers “woot” and cheer, apparently not listening to anything being said but wanting to be part of the fun.
"Are you more of a sophisticated drinker?" frat guy #3 mocks while rolling his eyes, then grins "But I bet you still get REALLY effed-up, huh?! What's your poison? White Russians?! Sex On The Beach?! Zombies?!"
"Ahahaha! I don't understand anything you're saying! Yet it's so funny!" Pinkie Pie laughs loudly, then perks up. "I like drinking chocolate milk. Not sure if that's considered sophisticated, though.
Silence.
"And I'm not poisonous, silly! If anything, my laughter is contagious! I'm the Element of Laughter, after all!
Silence.
"Zombies are REALLY scary! But now I want to dress up as one for Nightmare Night! HURRAY!" Pinkie Pie continued to ramble as she always does. "Don't know what Sex On The Beach is or that other thing, but now I want to know what they are! I want lots and LOTS of Sex On The Beach!
Silence.
"What's SEX, anyway? Can you show it to me?" Pinkie asks, looking around at everyone.
Silence...and then...
"YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The entire fraternity house shouts in approval, cheering Pinkie Pie on as she bounces up and down on the table. Miraculously, none of the alcohol spilled. This got the crowd even more awestruck and excited!
"Dude, what in the fu-?!"
"Whoa! Awesome!!!!!!"
"I'll show you sex, baby!"
"Party-Pony! Party-Pony! Party-Pony!"
"Party-Pony's pretty fucking amazing!!!"
"Take a shot, Party-Pony!"
"Yeah, take a shot!"
"Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!"
Everyone huddled closer around Pinkie Pie and chanted in unison for her to take a shot. "Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!"
Pinkie Pie, not knowing exactly what to do, did what she thought was best and started shooting random candy out of her mouth at the crowd shouting to take "shots".
The crowd was growing even crazier as Pinkie kept shooting candy out of her mouth.
"Party-Pony's a BEAST!!!"
"What is this, anyway?! Candy?!"
"Dude, it's like some kind of cartoon candy or something!!"
"I'll show you sex, baby!"
"Who's this babe, anyway?!"
"I love her hair!"
"Alright, settle down! Settle down! Party-Pony still needs to take her shots! Because tonight she's doing the SHOTS CHALLENGE!"
The crowd cheers and whistles in approval with a fierceness. The crowd is so excited they chuck their cups of alcohol so fast into the air that the liquid flies out everywhere.
"Oooh, goody! I love a good challenge! Which party game is this?! Is it like Pin-the-Pony?! I'm great at that game!"
Frat guy #1 points to the seven shots laid out in a neat row in front of Pinkie Pie.
"Alright, Party-Pony! Here's the rules to the challenge! When Lil' Jon starts shouting the names of the shots, you're to drink them at the same moment he shouts each name! So when he shouts Jello Shot, drink the Jello Shot! When he shouts Kamikaze, take this shot! You know how to do a Jäger Bomb, right?"
"Oooohhh! I love Jello!!!!!!" Pinkie squeals in excitement! “What flavor is it? I hope it’s cherry-flavored! It’d be so cool if it was chocolate-flavored!”
"Hahahaha! That's the spirit, Party-Pony! Now the only ones who actually pass the challenge become fraternity officers of Alpha Kappa Kai! So you're talking to a winner, baby! WHOOOO!!!!" frat guy #1 “woot-woots” to the crowd, pointing to himself (the winner), and the crowd follows with their own crazed cheer.
Pinkie Pie giggles excitedly and bounces up and down! "Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it!"
"Yo, DJ, LMFAO SHOTS up in this HOUSE!"
The DJ begins to play LMFAO SHOTS (featuring Pitbull and Lil' Jon), and the entire frat house cheers and dances on cue.
Pinkie Pie dances on the shots table, waiting for the challenge to begin. She starts doing wild moves nopony has ever seen before. For this is a special night! She knew she was with partiers who loved partying as much as her! Maybe even more!
"Not possible!" Pinkie Pie laughed aloud!
“Yo, Party-Pony! Here it comes! Get ready!" frat guy #3 shouts while doing the Carlton.
The entire house dances and shouts the lyrics together.
If you ain't taking shots get the fuck out the club
If you ain't come to party get the fuck out the club
Now where my alcoholics let me see your hands up
What you drinkin' on?
"HERE WE GO, PARTY-PONY!!!" frat guy #1 alerts Pinkie Pie.
Jäger Bombs!
Pinkie Pie stands still.
The crowd encourages Pinkie Pie to take a shot.
Lemon Drops!
Pinkie Pie continues to stand stoic still.
The crowd chants "Shots! Shots! Shots!"
Buttery Nipples!
Pinkie Pie hasn't taken a shot. She just stands still on the table.
The crowd begins to panic.
Jello Shots!
Pinkie Pie’s eye twitches as she continues to stand still.
The crowd, growing more panicky, continue to shout "Drink the shot, Party-Pony! Just drink it!"
Kamikaze!
Pinkie Pie stares ahead, not even batting an eye at the seven full shots before her.
The crowd is now exasperated.
Three Wise Men!
Pinkie Pie still has not touched a single shot glass.
By this time the majority of the crowd have become disappointed and given up.
Fuck all that shit!
Get me some Gin!
At that moment, Pinkie Pie shoots out an enormous and elongated tongue and wraps it around every shot on the table. In a split second, Pinkie Pie pulls every shot glass of alcohol into her open mouth and swallows everything whole.
The crowd immediately becomes silent. The DJ even turned off the music with a quick scratch.
Pinkie Pie suddenly burps up every shot glass, and in a surprising feat denying the physical sciences and the natural laws of the world, the seven shot glasses land on the table in a neat line-up, all in a row as they originally were (alcohol already consumed, of course.).
Silence.
Pinkie Pie burps again, her large eyes becoming a bit heavier at each passing second.
"So, uh, *hiccup* did I wi-win the, uh, cha-*hiccup*-llenge?" Pinkie Pie's body begins to sway from side to side. She's finding it hard to stand on her hooves, it seems.
Silence...then...
"YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And the DJ pops on another record.
The Fraternity House has exploded into cheers, awestruck comments, whistles and chants for...
"Party-Pony! Party-Pony! Party-Pony! Party-Pony! Party-Pony! Party-Pony! Party-Pony! Party-Pony! Party-Pony!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Pinkie Pie produces a drunken grin as she stands on two hooves and spreads her arms. The crowd inevitably cheers even more wildly.
"The name's Pinkie Pie, okay?!!" Pinkie Pie laughed drunkenly.
"Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"That crazy Party-Pony's a FREAK!"
"BOSS!!!!"
"She's so wasted!!!"
"How in the fu-?! What in the fu-?! The shots were all-?! And her tongue-?! Huh?!!!!!!"
"Pinkie, let's dance!"
"PINKIE PIE 2012!!!"
"She's so damn awesome!"
"I'll show you sex, baby!!!!!"
"Pinkie, let's dance!"
3 and a half hours later...
"Go Pinkie! Go Pinkie! Go Pinkie! Go Pinkie!"
Everyone in the fraternity house is busy partying like mad animals. Music, dancing, drugs, sex, broken furniture, passed-out partiers lying in front of the house and on top of roofs, lots and LOTS of alcohol and a WHOLE LOT of Pinkie Pie!
Pinkie Pie is busy busting her very break-dance imaginable right on the card-board covered floors of the main room. And now that her drunken state has brought about Pinkie's true potential for parties, all of her powers are unleashed.
Pinkie Pie teleports to the kitchen/open bar in the middle of a head-stand move and takes three more shots, then she candy-rockets herself back to the dance floor to finish her performance.
"This is what I call the Cupcakes Special!!!!"
After the dance move, Pinkie Pie's audience screams in absolute horror and wonder.
At the next breath, Pinkie Pie is in another room of the house with two joints up her nostrils and three Ecstasy pills sliding down her throat.
"I just LoOOooooOOoOovE trying new candy, you know?!!!!!!" Pinkie Pie rolls her eyes in a maddening party state.
The drug suppliers in the room just start laughing hysterically and start cheering Pinkie Pie on!
"Dude, is this real?" snickered a pot-head sitting on the floor.
"It's, like, a pink pony is, like, here...right?" Another pot-head laughs aloud, falling on the floor.
"Yo, Pinkie, get over here!"
Pinkie Pie's ears prick up. "Sorry! I'm being called somewhere else!"
Pinkie Pie bounces to the room next door. The room is dark, but she can two figures in the room. A blonde-haired man with a huge green apple tattooed on his right bicep and a girl with rainbow-patterned thigh-high stockings are laid out onto a large bed. Both have lust-filled eyes, and they light up at the sight of Pinkie Pie.
"Hey, Pinkie, want to try something?" asked the blonde-haired man with a sly grin.
"It'll be fun!" encouraged the woman with the rainbow-patterned stockings.
Pinkie Pie just gave the two a drunken stare and giggled. "Fun things are fun!"
Before bouncing onto the bed with the two, the door was shut by a hind leg.
30 minutes later...
"Whoa, where did that Karaoke machine come from?!"
"Dude, it's Party-Pony, man! Anything's possible!"
"She's effing singing now?! Nice!!!"
"Go Pinkie! Go Pinkie!"
"Yeah, baby!"
"Party-Pony! Party-Pony! Party-Pony!"
"I enjoyed showing you sex, baby!"
"That is one crazy pony!"
Pinkie Pie is seen beside a large karaoke machine with a microphone in between her hooves. Somehow, Pinkie's mane has become even more messy and out-of-control “poofy”!!! With red blood-shot eyes, Pinkie Pie now sings with all her soul as she struts her stuff.
(Song being played is: At The Gala (20% Cooler Remix) by SimGretina)
"I'm here at the Grand Gala,
For it is the best Party!
But the one thing it was missing was a pony named Pinkie!
For I am the best at parties
All the ponies will agree...
Ponies playing!
Ponies dancing!
With me at the Grand GALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"
Pinkie Pie then bounces so high she breaks through the roof of the fraternity house.
"My Little Pony, eh?" chuckles the DJ as he watches Pinkie Pie drop back onto the dance floor and do The Worm.
And they partied on.
The police came over to the Alpha Kappa Kai Fraternity House and ended up shutting down the party. Apparently it went on until 2:00 p.m. into the day. The police also received reports of a Pink Monster using a particular weapon similar to a cannon to shoot party supplies at nearby homes in the neighborhood. By the time the police arrived, every building on the block was adorned with party-like supplies - streamers, confetti, balloons, candy...even pink wigs.
The Pink Monster was never found.
Some speculate Pinkie Pie broke the fourth wall for the final time, inevitably ending the universal existence of some other dimension by partying too hard. Well, at least Alpha Kappa Kai was able to survive the presence of Pinkie Pie.
Now, Alpha Kappa Kai has a picture of Pinkie Pie on their "Alpha Kappa Kai Officers" billboard. The picture displays a drunken Pinkie Pie with the brightest smile one would ever see in their entire life...
Oh, and it seems she chipped a tooth.
The End
