Derpy’s Christmas Tale

by Spirit Derpy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Doctor Whooves, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Dinky Hooves, Pinkie Pie
Length: 4038

Christmas is Derpy’s favorite time of year. That's why she planned to make this Christmas the best Christmas ever for the Doctor and Dinky. However, a certain pink pony had other plans.

Christmas is the best time of year to share with Friends and family. It also happens to be Derpy's favorite Holiday. That's why she planned to make this Christmas the best Christmas ever for the Doctor and Dinky. However, a certain pink pony had decided to take things into her own hooves and throw a Christmas party for the three of them.

Published 2017-12-10 15:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-10 15:20:06 UTC

Derpy’s Christmas Tale

There was a small chill in the air as Derpy walked along the snow filled road. She wore a really long multicolored scarf around her neck to keep the cold away. It was late evening on the eve of Christmas and she was searching for some last-minute gifts for Dinky and the Doctor.

Derpy had never intended to wait until the last minute to buy gifts. However, one thing had led to another and she hadn’t been able to find the time to look for gifts. This was her last chance and she was feeling slightly rushed as she walked toward a new gift store that had just been opened.

She wiped her hooves off as she entered the store. For a moment she stood near the entrance and tilted her head to get a good view of the aisles. A moment later Derpy smiled as she spotted an aisle filled with toys.

There would surely be something in there for Dinky. She walked down the aisle and tilted her head to the side to see the different toys. One toy in particular caught her eye. It was a toy from the TV show called My Little Human. Dinky was a big fan of the show.

Derpy couldn’t understand why Dinky liked the show so much. She shrugged her shoulders as she picked up the toy. It really didn’t matter as long as Dinky liked it. Derpy wondered if maybe she should look for other toys but noticed the clock on the wall. She was quickly running out of time.

Derpy was about to rush to the checkouts when she accidentally bumped into something soft. It took her a moment to orient her vision so she could see what she had run into. Pinkie pie’s big white smile greeted her. Derpy smiled back.

Pinkie Pie let out a small giggle as she said, “Well hello Derpy. I didn’t know that you were here. Shouldn’t you be out with the Doctor? I would’ve thought that the two of you would’ve been off on some big Christmas themed adventure.”

Derpy looked down at the ground in embarrassment.

Pinkie giggled again as she said, “You forgot to pick up gifts for the Doctor and Dinky again, didn’t you?”

Derpy’s checks blushed as she reluctantly nodded.

Before Derpy had a chance to say anything, Pinkie sucked her breath in sharply. She smiled as she said, “I just got the best idea ever. I could help you find the gifts that you need.” Pinkie began to bounce up and down with excitement.

Derpy smiled as she said, “Oh, you don’t have to do that. I’m sure that you have your own shopping to do. I’m almost done anyway.”

Pinkie giggled again as she continued to bounce around Derpy. Then she said, “Nonsense. I’ll help you find what you need. I don’t have anything else to do. I’m really only in the beginning of this story anyway. The Author doesn’t seem to want me in anymore of his stories after what happened the last time I was in one.”

Derpy’s eyes started to wonder around as she stood there in confusion. “What are you talking about Pinkie?” she asked.

Pinkie giggled again as she said, “Oh it’s nothing. I was just taking a peak past the wall. It’s fun, you should try it sometime.”

Derpy looked around the store to see what wall Pinkie was talking about for a moment. When she couldn’t see what Pinkie had meant she asked, “What wall are you talking about?”

Pinkie smiled at Derpy as she said, “I’m talking about the fourth wall, silly.”

Before Derpy had a chance to respond the Author paused the story and said, “Hold it pinkie. You can’t keep doing this. This was supposed to be a Christmas story about Derpy and her family. Why do you have to steal the show?”

Pinkie giggled at the Author as she said, “Why can’t it be a story about both me and Derpy? Christmas is supposed to be all about sharing. There should be plenty of room for both of us.”

The Author sighed to himself. Bargaining with Pinkie was like tying stop the tide. There was no point in trying to argue with her. The Author decided that it would be better to give her what she wanted so the story could keep moving forward.

The Author eventually said, “Ok Pinkie you win. You can be in the story but you can’t keep breaking the forth wall.”

Pinkie frowned in disappointment as she said, “Aw, but I’m so good at it.”

The Author sighed under his breath before he said, “Yes, I know that your good at it. That’s not the point. I just want to tell a Christmas story centered around Derpy. After all, this may be one of my last FimFiction stories for a very long time. So, can we just keep the story on track?”

Pinkie smiled again as she said, “Ok, I'll try to keep in character, but one of these days you should really just let me write a story. It would be so much fun if you just let me be the author for once.”

The Author was starting get a headache. He sighed as he said, “I suppose that someday I could give you the pen, but I’m afraid of what might happen. You could end up breaking the laws of space-time or something. Anyway, we’ll talk about that later. Let’s get back to the story, before all the readers walk away in annoyance. After all, this is supposed to be for them and not you.”

Pinkie giggled and said, “Oh, I’m sure it’s okay. The readers will be fine. You shouldn’t worry so much.”

The Author sighed as he said, “That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one who’s going to have to deal with the readers after the story is over. Now let’s get back to the story and stop dragging me off topic.”

Before the Author had a chance to start the story again Pinkie said, “Wait, there’s just one more thing that I want to ask you about.”

The Author rubbed his head in frustration before he said, “Fine, ask your question, but it better not be a waste of time. I have things that I need to do and I’m sure that the audience just wants to get back to the story.”

Pinkie smiled as she said, “Aww, your so considerate. This is an important question though and I’m sure someone in the audience might want to know the answer. Why do you keep calling yourself the Author when that’s not your name? It sounds so weird when you write like that.”

The Author shook his head before he said, “Really? You’re holding up the story for that? This is ridiculous. It’s not that big of a deal, but if you must know, I’m writing it that way so I don’t have to refer to myself in the third person. It would be kind of weird for me if I kept saying things like ‘Adam said.’ It’s just easier to use a tittle instead of my name. Now can we get back to the story?”

Pinkie nodded as she said, “Oh, that makes sense. I suppose that I would feel weird if I had to speak in third person to. Ok, we can get back to the story now.”

After all of that strangeness the story continued. Derpy looked at Pinkie and smiled. “You are really silly sometimes Pinkie. That’s why I like you so much,” Derpy said.

Pinkie smiled at Derpy as she said, “Aw thanks. You make me so happy.” Pinkie started to bounce toward the front end of the store. “What kind of gifts are you looking for anyway?”

“I picked out this My Little Human toy for Dinky. I think that she’s going to love it,” Derpy said as she held the toy up for Pinkie to see.

Pinkie giggled as she said, “Oh, I bet that she’s going to love that. Though, the title of the show is a bit weird. It’s almost like they didn’t have any original ideas. All they did was change pony to human. My Little Pony just sounds better. It’s kind of a rip off.”

Derpy tilted her head in confusion as she said, “What are you talking about Pinkie? There’s no show called My Little Pony.”

Pinkie smiled at Derpy as she said, “Not in our world, but in the human’s world, silly.” Pinkie frowned a second later. “I should probably stop talking about it now. I think the Author’s getting mad at me again.” Then Pinkie smiled at Derpy. “What kind of gift were you going to get for the Doctor, though? I bet it’s going to be something all weird and sciencey.”

Derpy looked a little upset by Pinkie’s question. “That’s the problem. I don’t know what to get him. He’s so smart. What can I get him that he doesn’t already have? What if he doesn’t like what I give him?” Derpy asked anxiously.

Pinkie giggled as she said, “You’re over thinking this Derpy. I’m sure the Doctor will like whatever you give him, as long as it comes from the heart. You shouldn’t worry about it so much.”

Derpy smiled at Pinkie as she said, “I suppose that you’re right. What do you think I should get him though? There isn’t that much time left and I still have to get my surprise ready.” Derpy frowned as she realized that she might have just spoiled her plans for Christmas.

Pinkie inhaled sharply before she said, “You’re planning a surprise for the Doctor and Dinky? What kind of surprise? Oh, can I help?” Pinkie started to bounce in excitement.

Derpy sighed as she quickly realized that she didn’t have much of a choice. Pinkie would keep on bugging her until she gave in. Derpy tried to focus both of her eyes on Pinkie but only succeeded in getting one to stare at her. Then she said, “You can help me, but you have to promise to keep all of this a secret, ok.”

Pinkie frowned and stopped bouncing as she said, “I have to keep it secret? I don’t think I can.”

Derpy smiled at Pinkie as she said, “I don’t think that you’ll have any trouble with this. You’re going to have a lot of fun with this.”

Pinkie smiled as she said, “Fun, what kind of fun?”

“I was planning on dressing up like Santa when I gave the Doctor and Dinky their gifts. Then we were going to have a little Christmas party with just the three of us,” Derpy said.

Pinkie inhaled sharply as she excitedly said, “That’s the coolest thing ever. Can I dress up like Santa too? It would be like a Christmas costume party.”

Derpy had been afraid of this. Pinkie always wanted to be at the center of everything. She sighed as she said, “It’s not a party, just a friendly get together. If you really want to, I suppose —.”

Pinkie began to jump around excitedly as she shouted, “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. This is going to be so much fun. I’m going to get everything ready for the party. Luckily I happen to have emergency Santa costumes stashed all over Ponyville.”

Before Derpy had a chance to say anything Pinkie disappeared in a cloud of dust. Derpy shook her head. She wished that Pinkie hadn’t learned about her surprise. Pinkie was likely to go overboard with a Christmas party. Hopefully Pinkie didn’t get too crazy.

As she stood there thinking about Pinkie, the Store’s PA system activated and someone said, “Attention shoppers, the store will be closing in five minutes. Please finish up your shopping and head for the checkouts.”

Derpy was startled by the sudden announcement. It took her a moment to calm down. That’s when she realized that she still needed to pay for the Dinky’s gift. She quickly went through the checkout and bought the toy.

Once she left the store she started to walk along the street. It was starting to get dark out and it had become a bit colder. Derpy tightened the scarf around her neck and continued on her way home.

As she walked, she had the strange feeling that she had forgotten something. Whatever it was, it seemed like it was important. Derpy stopped in her tracks a moment later and said, “Oh.” She had forgotten to find a gift for the Doctor.

Derpy quickly turned around to look back at the store. It was too late; the store had already closed for Christmas. All the other stores in Ponyville would be closed by now too. She had to find a gift for the Doctor and also get ready for her Christmas surprise. What was she going to do?

Derpy was starting to panic when a gust of wind blew past her and ruffled her scarf. She reached up with her hoof and adjusted the scarf. As she looked down at the scarf something about it reminded her of something the Doctor had said long ago.

At that moment a smile stretched across her face as she realized that she already had the perfect gift to give the doctor. He was sure to appreciate her scarf more than anything else she could give him. She would need to hurry home though if she was going to be able wrap the scarf and dress up as Santa in time for Christmas.

When she finally arrived at her house, she snuck around to the back. She opened the back door as quietly as possible. As she entered the house, she looked around to see if no one was around. The Doctor and Dinky weren’t supposed to be home until later, but Derpy wanted to make sure she was alone.

When she was sure that she was alone, she quietly made her way upstairs to wrap her presents and put on her Santa costume. Several minutes later she went back down stairs with her costume on and two wrapped gifts under hoof. She placed the gifts under the tree in the living room and sighed. A smile came to her face as she thought about how much fun it was going to be to surprise the doctor.

“What’re you doing?” Pinkie asked in a loud voice right behind Derpy.

Derpy jumped in surprise before she realized that it was just Pinkie. She turned around and stared at Pinkie, who was already dressed up like Santa. Derpy frowned at Pinkie as she said, “You startled me. You shouldn’t be so sneaky all the time Pinkie.”

Pinkie giggled as she said, “I wasn’t sneaking. I was just setting up the surprise party.” Then Pinkie pointed behind her with her hoof.

Derpy’s mouth fell open as she beheld the now fully decorated living room. Pinkie had gone way overboard with the decorations, just like Derpy had predicted. Derpy looked at Pinkie and asked, “How did you set this up so fast without me noticing?”

Pinkie raised her eyebrow briefly before she started to giggle uncontrollably. It took her a moment to gain control of herself so she could say, “Oh, Depry, that’s hilarious. I’m Pinkie Pie remember. It’s best not to question me.”

Derpy sighed and shook her head. Then she said, “Well however you did this, thank you, but this wasn’t supposed to be a party.”

Pinkie giggled and then said, “Oh don’t worry. I’m the only one here. I know how you don’t like big parties so I kept it small, just for you.”

Depry smiled as she said, “You kept it small? That’s weird coming from you. You have no idea how happy this makes me. Thank you, Pinkie.”

Pinkie nodded excitedly as she said, “It’s my pleasure. I just love to see my friends being happy.”

Derpy nodded and said, “I’m sure that the Doctor and Dinky will appreciate this. I just wonder when they’ll be getting home so we can surprise them properly.”

Pinkie smiled at Derpy as she said, “That part’s easy. The story’s almost over, so they should show up as soon as we find a place to hide and shut the lights off.” A second later Pinkie disappeared behind the couch.

Derpy shook her head before she said, “If you say so.” Then she shut the lights off and hid behind the couch as well. Just as Derpy settled into place, there was a noise outside the front door. A second later the door opened. Pinkie and Derpy jumped up from behind the couch and shouted surprise, as the lights turned on.

The Doctor and Dinky both had surprised looks on their faces. As they took in the sight of the decorated living room, their surprise was replaced with smiles.

Dinky excitedly walked to the center of the room and said, “You did all of this for us? It looks wonderful. Your Santa costumes look great too.”

The Doctor looked from Derpy to Pinkie, then back to Derpy. “This wasn’t your idea, was it? This has Pinkie written all over it.”

Before Derpy could answer, Pinkie said, “What, my name’s written all over it?” She looked around the room for a few seconds before she giggled. “Oh, I see what you did there. You really got me with that one.”

Derpy Smiled at the Doctor, slightly embarrassed. She ran her hoof across the floor and said, “I was only going dress up to give you your gifts, but Pinkie heard about what I wanted to do and insisted on all of this.”

The Doctor smiled at Derpy and said, “Well that’s Pinkie for you. She is the premier party planner for Ponyville. This is about what I would expect her to do. Although, I would think that she would be too busy putting together parties for her other friends to help us with a party.”

Pinkie bounced up and down as she said, “Oh, thank you Doctor. I love to make my friends happy.” Then she stopped bouncing a moment later. “Don’t worry about my other friends; they’re not in this story. So, everything is fine. Besides, even if they were in this story, I could just be at both parties at once. It’s not that hard to do.”

The Doctor shook his head and said, “The magic of this pony world always confuses me. Though it is a very fun place to explore, I just wish that I could understand how some of that magic works.”

Derpy smiled at the Doctor as she said, “You’re not the only one confused by Pinkie. She seems to have more magic than any other pony in Equestria.”

Pinkie frowned at the two of them as she said, “I don’t use magic. I just break the fourth wall and change the story as needed. It’s not that hard.”

The Doctor smile and shook his head as he said, “Again with this fourth wall. I don’t know what that is but it seems dangerous. Perhaps it’s best not to question it. Although, it does sound interesting, maybe I’ll look into it someday.”

Pinkie giggled as she said, “You’re so silly Doctor. If you can’t peek past the Fourth wall now, you probably won’t ever be able to. That doesn’t matter though, since this story will be over before you get the chance.”

Derpy tilted her head to look at Pinkie. Then she gasped before she said, “Oh, I almost forgot that I got gifts for you two.” She pointed to the gifts under the tree. “I know that it’s not Christmas yet but it’s always fun to open gifts early.”

Dinky was the first to grab her gift and open it. She held up the My Little Human toy and smiled as she said, “You remembered. Oh, thank you. This is the best Christmas gift ever!”

Derpy smiled and gave Dinky a hug.

The Doctor opened his gift a moment later. As he saw the multi colored scurf he smiled. “You always know what to get me. I love it. It brings back so many wonderful memories.”

Derpy gave the Doctor a big hug after he had put the scarf on.

Once Derpy had stepped back the Doctor smiled and said, “I’ve got a surprise for you too.”

Derpy had a surprised look on her face as she said, “You have a surprise for me, really?”

The Doctor proceeded to pull out a small wrapped object. He smiled at Derpy as he handed it to her. Then he said, “Go ahead and open it.”

A moment later Derpy held a weird looking box in her hooves. She looked at the Doctor in confusion as she asked, “What is it?”

The Doctor tapped a button on the side of the box and a small door opened up on the front. Then he said, “Take a look inside.”

Derpy looked inside and smiled as she saw that the box held a muffin. She looked up at the Doctor and said, “I love it.”

The Doctor smiled at her as he said, “I didn’t just get you one muffin though. Once you take out that muffin, close the door and press the button on the side. Another muffin will appear in the box. You can do that for as long as you want.”

Derpy looked at the Doctor with confusion in her eyes as she asked, “What do you mean by that? Where do the muffins come from?”

“The muffins are made when you press the button. Don’t worry about how it works. All you have to do; is think about your favorite flavor and it will appear in the box,” the Doctor said.

Derpy almost tackled the Doctor to the ground as she gave him a big hug. “Oh, it’s so wonderful Doctor. You’re the best,” Derpy said.

The Doctor laughed as he was squeezed by Derpy. “You’re really the wonderful one here,” the Doctor said.

Pinkie giggled before she said, “Well that was a really fun story. I can’t wait until it’s my turn to write my own story.”

The other three looked at her in confusion before the Author angrily paused the story. Then he said, “Pinkie we talked about this. You said that you weren’t going to break the forth wall again.”

Pinkie smiled as she said, “The story’s over now, so it’s fine.”

The Author sighed before he said, “The story would be over, but you’re holding everyone captive until you stop talking. I’m just going to end this now.”

“Wait, you can’t go yet. You have to Pinkie Promise that you’ll let me write my own story someday,” Pinkie said.

The Author grumbled loudly before he said, “I’m not going to let you write your own story. I think that you’ve already interjected enough. Let’s just leave it at that and move on.”

Pinkie growled at the Author as she said, “I won’t let you leave until you promise to let me write my own story.”

The Author was feeling very tired by this point and was starting to get a headache. He just wanted to go to bed. “Look if you’ll let me end this story, you can write your own story in the future,” the Author said.

“You have to Pinkie Promise,” Pinkie said.

The Author sighed loudly before he said, “Fine, cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” It was then that he knew that he had messed up. He would never be able to break a Pinkie Promise. It was too late though. He would never be able to take it back.

Pinkie began to bounce vigorously as she said, “This is going to be so much fun. I can’t wait.”

“Alright Pinkie, you got what you wanted. Can I end the story now?” the Author asked.

Pinkie stopped bouncing and said, “Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the story. You can end it now. Goodbye everypony. Have a nice Christmas.” Then she waved her hooves at the audience on the other side of the screen. "I'll see you next time."