The Dark Guitar Saiyan Chief-former Rises
So here I was at ________Con 20XX, suited up in my black cape, orange keikogi, Halo energy sword, Optimus Prime legs, and Guitar Hero III Les Paul guitar controller with the Aerosmith plate over it. I don't know much, but if I did, I'd know that if I was suddenly whisked away to a world full of hot, fuckable ponies with hands and feet and got to keep the powers of all the shit I was wearing, that would be hella tight.
Next thing I know, there's this white-cloaked looking woman painted all pink with a long horsey face. After I pass her, she then spins me around by my Goku belt so I can face her, and then with her super sick prosthetics, her mouth moves and says to me, "Brendan, my world is in peril. Put your boner inside me!"
Before I could ascertain what this chick was saying to me, she lifted her cloak up and showed off her winking pussy with lips like licorice that my wiener wanted a taste of. With no time to lose, I slipped my hardness into hers, causing massive wings with purple-tipped feathers to sprout from her back. With a single beat of them we flew through the ceiling and into the vastness of space.
I could hardly even register the planets that flew past us like cars on the highway. All I could concentrate on was my arms tightly holding on for dear life, kept in place only by the curvature of her ass my hard dick still firmly held by her marehood, which felt so good like flexing your morning wood onto your tummy when you wake up.
"Brendan, don't fall!" She cries to me. "Grab my butthole!"
With my right hand, I slid my palm over her plump, fatty cheek and slipped my fingers into her anus, which felt warm and rubbery like a fresh Krispy Kreme.
"Yes, Brendan! We're almost there!"
As we slowed down, I felt myself pulled up. Her vaginal walls pressed down on my willy like when I try to wrap my morning wood along my guche to touch my butthole. We then break through the atmosphere of a bright, blue-and-green planet. After landing on the ground, I try to get up, but she pulls me back in, my penis feeling wider and tighter inside her vagoo.
With several loud moans and a burst of wetness from inside, she allows me to exit her freshly-orgasmed pussy. It was then that I got to get a good look at my new penis, super big and long, just like Batman's. My cheap polyester practice gear was now woven out of silk, just like the real Goku! Just like a real energy sword, my weapon now vibrated in my hand and had some weight to it, just like MY MOM!
(Like, favorite, and follow for Adventure Time reference)
I couldn’t feel my legs! :,-( …because they were now robotic, just like Optimus Prime! I then flipped my guitar around, a full-sized Gibson Les Paul that hummed with electricity in my hands. I was a real rockstar now, just like the Jonas Brothers.
The fuck horse then got up to me. "Greetings, Brendan. I'm Cadance."
I stepped back, instantly surprised. "Whoa, how did you know my name?"
"I learned your name when you bonded with me."
"Oh!" Everything was making sense.
"I must confess something to you. The real reason I brought you here was to help me."
"But what on Earth for? You have like magic and stuff, and all I have is expert hand-to-hand combat, can fly and shoot energy beams through my hands, cut through nearly anything, have metal limbs, and can play any Dragonforce song so long as it's been released in-game or through DLC."
"You see, my world has been taken over by my sister-in-law, and I needed help in restoring things to the way they once were, but since meeting you, I have decided to renounce my allegiances and learn to live in this brave new world by my side."
"Cool, then can I go home? I can't wait to show off my new sexy body to everyone at school."
"Wait! There's something that I still need from you! There is still to be an attack on my sister's life later tonight that I need you to thwart! Now, come! There isn't a moment to lose!"
Shedding herself of her cloak, she revealed her naked self and her boobs like full-sized balloons half-filled with cream and laid upon her back. Just like the Batplane I knew how to fly, I sat on her pussy, put my right hand atop her left boob and gently pinched her right nipple with my left.
With her wings fluttering, she sped off. Pinching her right tit, she flew up high, and with my left hand, I pushed it upward to send her flying faster to a cliffside castle far off in the distance.
After a few hours, nighttime was beginning to fall, and we hovered over the castle to watch the uniformly white male guards do the exact march and formation dance from The Wizard of Oz. Just then, three horned unicorns, equally as naked, big-tittied, and tight-pussied floated up using their magic up to us.
"Sister Cadence!" The beige one with a yellow sun tattooed on her firm butt addressed her. "The target will be out on her balcony in zero-hundred minutes."
"I'll be right behind you," I said. "And just to be sure, you're the ones that are planning to kill Twilight, right?"
"Yes," so spoke the dark blue unicorn with a flame on her ass.
"Very good. Ladies, I just want to wish you luck that neither Cadance or I are going to betray you down there and then have furious victory sex over your corpses when we win."
"I wish you the same," the red unicorn with the smiling potato said. "Let's go!"
We all soared down, watching as Twilight forlornly went onto her balcony, climbed onto the banister and slid on it with her vag. Just as the red potato-tattoo unicorn was about to call the order for attack, my valkyrie was quick to signal our deception first.
"Brendan, now!"
“KAMEHAMEHA!.” I shot three energy balls out from my hands, shooting all three horse bitches out of the sky.
Anyways, the three disoriented unicorns fell hard onto the balcony, leaving Twilight to scream and run inside to finger herself to get the job done. Hopping off Cadence and landing on the balcony on my new powerful Autobot legs, I then turned to the beige sun-butt unicorn, and with my sword, I jammed both points in and out of her vagina hard and fast enough to liquify her and incinerate the remains.
I was then about to get kicked up into the chin by the red potato-butt unicorn, only for me to think about doing sex inside Cadance and get hard enough to deflect the attack, the hardness of my cock shattering her shin like an iPhone X. As she writhed around, I then channeled Batfleck and FUCKING MURDEREDHER!
With the dark-blue flame tushy slow to get up, I whipped my guitar around and began to play the impossible part of The Devil Went Down to Georgia. My playing was good enough to get her to dig her hand deep into her cunt and pleasure herself to my masterful playing. As I started to finger the frets, I swung the base of my guitar into her pussy and began slicing, cutting, and shredding her all the way up with my strings Audition-style. Once I reached he end of my solo, that bitch was nothing but pony bacon.
Twilight ran back out, her hand pruned and gasping over the sight. "Cadance! What happened here?"
Cadance suddenly looked spookily serious. "This creature was summoned by the Traditionalists to assasasinateverse you!"
"What?!" I spun three times around trying to face both Cadence and Twilight. "That's not true! She was working for them and defected!"
"My sister would never do such a thing!" Twilight defended. "Guards! Take him away!"
Still confused, I couldn't help but let two white guards pick me up by butt and whisk me away to the dungeons.
After several hours of hanging by my arms, Cadance came back to see me. My peepee no longer wanted to taste her juicy goose ever again. "What is even going on, Cadance? Why did you lie to her about me?"
"Isn't it obvious?" she cackled. "Now that I've created a boogeyman for Twilight to fear, nothing will stop me from being able to assassinate her myself!"
"But... she already trusts you. Why haven't you tried killing her already?"
"Look, it doesn't matter what little sense any of this makes. We had lots of boobies and vaginas in this story, so people are going to upvote it anyways. I'll see you around."
Cadence turned around and left the room to leave me to rot. I really want Taco Bell right now.
Author's Note
I spent all night writing this when I should have been sleeping someone help should have been sleeping.
