Stuck in Second Gear

Chapters

Chapter 2 - The Crystal -what?
Chapter 3 - Meeting the Prince and Princess
Chapter 4 - An Interesting Dinner
Chapter 5
Chapter 6 - The Morning After
Chapter 7 - If you need to piss off a Princess...
Chapter 8 - Medical Checkup (sort of...)
Chapter 9 - Dinner with the Mane Six
Chapter 10
Chapter 11 - The Announcement
Chapter 12 - Picking Up the Suits
Chapter 13 - Thomas + Booze = Disaster?
Chapter 14 - Who's getting to Canterlot first?
Chapter 15 - The Gala Part 1
Chapter 16 - The Gala Part 2
Chapter 17 - In the Hospital (again)
Chapter 18 - Discussing Equestria's first car?
Chapter 19 - Nathan + M3 + Empty Streets = Calamity?
Chapter 20 - A Date With a Princess of Equestria
Chapter 22 - The Garden Opening (and other stuff...)
Chapter 1 - Not Your Typical Sunday Afternoon Drive
Chapter 21 - Equestria's First Racing Circuit?

Chapter 2 - The Crystal -what?

I continued to look around at our surroundings. I was so confused; how did we go from driving down the M8, on a (not so) typical Sunday afternoon to ending up somewhere that looks like it belongs in a bloody Disney movie? Seriously, it looks beautiful, but I was beginning to think my eyes were playing tricks on me.

Time to do the pinch test, see if this is actually real.

For maximum effect, I grabbed the back of my left arm with my right hand by the skin and pinched it with my thumb and index finger.

I winced in slight pain at the action. It must have been audible, because Thomas seemed to take notice at my annoyance and turns towards me.

"You alright, mate?"

I turned towards him to see his half-concerned, half-confused face.

"Aye, I'm fine, Tom," I reply. It's not really a lie as such, but I would have to explain. "Just doing the pinch test, see if this place is real or not. It hurt, so I think it's safe to assume, for me anyway, that this is real. Don't ask how, because I don't know."

He seems to look away for a second, contemplating what I just said. He then proceeds to try for himself, only to get the same effect as myself.

"Alrighty then," he uttered, though I'm not exactly sure if he was talking to himself or to me, then or now. Not that it's important, though. "Guess it's not a dream after all. Mate, this looks so weird."

I decided to crack a little joke, you know, to at least have some humour out of the situation. I mean, there's some truth behind it, but that's not the point.

"I wonder what Em would think about this if I told her," I chuckle. "Maybe she'd think I'm crazy. Or think I'm high on drugs. Or both. Or maybe she's still too angry to care," I say, getting slightly cross towards the end, clenching my fists as I remember THAT.

I fucking hate that bitch, I'll never forget what happened, nor forgive her any time in the future. I don't actually care if she's actually sorry in her apologies or not.

"Hey, Jack!" Thomas raised his voice at me.

I turned towards him, fully aware of what he was going to say to me.

"I know she was a hag, but thinking about what she did to you isn't going to help you move on," he said to me in a reassuring tone. "No-one blames you for what you did that night, but stop thinking about it, or her in general. The sooner you move on her, the better."

He then gave me a little smirk as he said the last part, "For ALL of us."

I have to admit, I lightened up at hearing this. I really haven't been the same since that night. I'm not quite ready to tell you what happened yet, but you'll find out in due course. Eventually.

"Thanks, Tom."

Turning back towards the city, I decided to address the elephant that was in the room.

Or outside.

You know what I meant. Shut up.

Finding the city was a good thing. The buildings were relatively clean and upheld, which meant somebody had to be living in them. It was large, so that meant the place probably had a large population. But the tower was what made me smile. It was really tall, as I said before, so I then knew that this place was important. If it was a castle, then there might be leaders there. They might be able to explain what happened and how we can get back home.

"Do you want to drive around the place?" I ask, to no one in particular, making Thomas turn back towards me from his examination of the city, and probably his musings as well.

"We probably should do, aye," he replies to me, walking over to my car from his Audi. "We need to talk to the authorities. The sooner we get back, the better. Don't get me wrong, the place looks nice, but there's something... I dunno, kinda... off?"

"Yeah, well no shi-" I begin, but before I finish my smartarse comment, I stop and think while looking at it, stroking my stubble as I do so.Heh, I forgot to shave again. And you know what? I don't quite know why, but the more, I look closely and think about it...

He was right.

It wasn't in the sort of the "Oh it's a Disney movie" way, it was something else.

And to this day, I still can't quite put my finger on it. I can't quite explain what it is that made the place feel off, it just did.

"I don't know why, Coupsie, but you're right. I kind of get that feeling too."

"Well, how about we get into the city and find out?"

"Cool," I shrugged. "Just do a three way call to keep in touch with each other?"

"Aye, should be good."

"...uhh, guys?" Nathan says, for the first time since we left him at George Square, as he gets out of his car.

The sudden voice had me surprised for a second, but I manage to recompose myself to answer him.

"Yes?"

"Well, we... uhh... wherever we are, we don't have signal," he says with a sheepish grin. "I even tried to... phone you, to see if it would work."

A few seconds of silence fly by, each one getting more awkward, waiting for someone to say it first.

"Well, bugger," I eventually splutter. I mean, Thomas left the radios at his house since he didn't think we'd need them. What the hell are we supposed to do now if we want to split up?

"To hell with it. Let's just go now." Thomas announced, making it clear that he didn't give a shit if the phones didn't work. I guess that's just what we do. We persevere. If you can manage without it, then do without it. The same sort of thing goes here, no communication, but whatever.

"OK, tell us what you find. Just go somewhere for fifteen minutes, try to make more sense of all of this. After that, meet in the centre of the city or something and tell us what you've found." I instructed everyone.

"Alright," the pair replied simultaneously.

That's the second time that's happened here. I smirk to myself.

And with that, all three of us opened the doors of our cars, got in, started up the engines and sprinted away on the... grass.

I really wish I had a Range Rover for this. Or an X3. Or even a Mitsubishi Shogun.

...

Okay, forget what I said about wanting the Shogun. I didn't mean it.

I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE IT AGAIN!

Anyway, off to the large city we headed, in search of something that might explain what happened, and/or a way back home.

But boy, were we in for a shock at what happened in those 20 or so odd minutes.

You probably would be, too, if you were in our shoes.

As we got closer and entered the city, things got even weirder. We found a road that took us into the city. At least we don't have to be on the grass all the time. This was only the beginning, however, as we pulled onto the road and, since we were the only cars there, we decided to pull the best drift we could with our cars.

Bad luck, Coupsie.

When we got closer to the buildings we decided to slow down, so if anybody hit the cars, they weren't going to damage the cars too badly. We were in awe at what we were seeing, though.

For a start, the houses were actually made of crystallised materials of some sort, as they glinted like The Cullinan diamonds on a bright sunny day. (We don't have such things in Scotland, Cullinan or sunny days, but that's not my point.)
I also noticed the doors were - let's say - differently proportioned? The doors were definitely smaller in terms of height. It was still enough to get past, but we would have to bend our heads forward (or backward) in order to get through.

Even Nathan would struggle to get through, and he's only 5' 9". Thomas is 6ft, and I'm 6' 2". We could always just stand on him if he was going to annoy us. (Okay, that one was a bit cruel.)

Is everyone here a dwarf? I thought to myself.

But that's not even the weirdest thing about all of this.

The small doors were explainable as we went further into the city. As we drove in, split off and started to weave in between streets, we found something... rather interesting about the local residence. The local residence were... small, technicoloured, crystal horses?

I remember turning in to one of the smaller streets and talking to myself "Wait, what?" as I saw one of them for the first time. He had a blue coat, a light blue mane and tail that looked like they were styled similar to that of a man's hair, amber eyes, and a bow and arrow on his arse, like a tattoo or something like that.

What is the deal with that tattoo? I thought.

He must have heard the car engine, as he stopped walking in the direction I was facing and turned around to look at me. Or, more specifically, my car.

I took it they had never seen a car before, as I guess you could say he was slightly frightened by the appearance of my car. It didn't help that my was black and had the "lean mean killing machine" sort of appearance, at least to them.

He was giving a sort of reaction to my car, so I deemed that he was sapient, probably as intelligent as myself. I decided to first switch off the car engine, then wind down the window and ask a few questions, after all I didn't want to scare the poor guy too much. I unfastened my seatbelt and leaned out of the window and faced him, he was a good 10 meters or so in front of myself, and I put my hands out of the car.

"Erm, excuse me, sir?" I began to say to him, he looked even more shocked as I spoke.

Probably haven't seen a human before either. Way to go, Jack.

"Can you tell me where I am?" I asked, getting a more confused facial expression from him. I therefore decided to elaborate on the situation and give him a bit of context. "Look, me and my friends were driving down a road, and there was a bit of an accident, and we don't know where we are, and we can't go back to where we came from."

To my surprise, he spoke back to me as well. "Uhhh, yes, sir... You're in the Crystal Empire right now." Crystal Empire? Suppose the crystal theme makes sense now. I hope this Crystal Empire is nowhere near as brutal as the British Empire, though.

He continues "We are Crystal Ponies, the residents of the Crystal Empire. I've never seen a creature like yourself before, though, sir, so you should probably meet with the Crystal Prince and Princess, as they probably have more answers than I do."

Not even an hour of being here and I could already be meeting with their leaders?

I think to myself for a few seconds about the possibilities, then respond to what the pony had said. "Alright... in that case, where can I find them?"

The pony nodded and pointed his hoof towards me. "If you go back onto that main road there, turn right from the way you're facing now and head straight forward into the square."

He then pointed towards the large tower in the centre of the city, which I had then realised upon closer inspection is actually a castle. "You'll have to talk to the castle guards and explain your situation to them. They will probably make you wait for a bit, as the princess will probably be involved in court at the moment."

I raised my eyebrow at this. "Court?" He nodded. "So, is it an enquiry or hearing or something?"

This time, he shook his head and moved closer to me to not have to raise his voice. "No, not quite. They sit in court and answer petitions from varying ponies, whether it be more money for already wealthy ponies, or a school that needs to renovate and needs help or something along those lines."

This made a bit more sense to me. "Ahh, ok, I get it now. Thanks."

He smiled and nodded at my understanding. These Crystal Ponies seem like really nice folk. Not like half the neds back home,I thought.

Don't get me started on some of the areas in Glasgow, the neds are extremely annoying all the time and sometimes they can be scary as hell. You try saying they're not when one pulls a zombie knife on you and demands you give him money.

"Well, I better get going," I commented. "I said to my mates I'd meet them in the centre in 15 minutes, and I should probably talk to the prince and princess about our situation. Thank you, Mister...?"

He pointed to himself as he said, "Oh, my name's Night Knight. I think we'll probably see more of each other in the future, Mister..."

"Jack Luss," I replied.

"I see. A rather interesting name. In any case, goodbye, Jack. Have a good day," he responded.

"And to yourself, Night."

And with that, I turned on the ignition. I waited a few seconds for him to realise everything's okay in the car, and even give him a thumbs up to be sure. I then put the car into reverse gear and press the accelerator pedal enough so the car came out fully, turning the car to the left as I did so.

I then put the car into first gear and set off again, but not powerful enough to frighten him. I noticed that he was already walking away at that point. He seemed to be normal, so I don't think I scared him too much. (Good job me!)

I decided to keep the speed relatively low, despite it being a long road that would've put the Merc through its paces, namely for a couple of reasons. One: I didn't want to disturb the local populace too much, Two: I didn't want to be shoved around by guards, and Three: I wanted to preserve my fuel.

Since these ponies don't seem to know what cars are, it's highly unlikely that they will have the petrol that I need to refuel the car, and I didn't know how long we had until we got back so preservation of fuel, to me, at that point, was very important.

Eventually, after about 20 seconds of going down the road, I eventually reached the centre of the empire and pulled up. The most interesting part about the centre was that it had two sort of pillars in the centre, with a sort of heart that was floating in the air, spinning in the air anti-clockwise. You can't just look at it and not like it in some capacity.

As I got out, I admired the crystal heart thing for a few seconds, before scanning the area to see what I could find. Having found no sign of the other two, and not hearing them nearby, I found what I presumed to be one of the entrances to the castle, judging by the guards stationed there.

I started to walk over to the entrance, but instead...

"HALT!"

Oh, brilliant. What the hell have I done this time?

I turned to the voice and looked down and found a pair of crystal guard ponies, one of which had a yellow coat and armour which had the green mane and tail sections tidily cut, while the other identical, but instead had purple coating and a greyish style of hair, with both of them pointing up at me with spears in their hooves.

Yeah, don't ask me about how that works, I don't know either.

"Who are you and what is your business at the Crystal Castle?" the yellow one asked in a tone that displayed authority.

I therefore put my hands in the air, to show them I am not a threat to them nor anyone else. "I don't need or want to harm any of you. My name's Jack Luss, and I am here because I need to speak with the Crystal Prince and/or Princess. Is it possible to speak to them?"

The yellow one, satisfied with my response, looks to his partner, nods to him, and both lower their weapons. The yellow one seems to be in thought for a moment.

"You mean Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Prince Shining Armor?" he asked. I hesitated, unsure because Night Knight never mentioned names, then nodded. "You would probably have to give us some context as to why, sir, not everyone can speak to the princess during court without some reasoning."

I sighed at this and look at him. "I understand this, sir, but, you need to know that there was..." I pause for a second, not sure of how to word this, "...a bit of an accident, let's say."

The guard raised his eyebrow and said, "I'm listening."

And so I told him, briefly, of course, about what happened to myself, Thomas and Nathan, and how we had no means of return, and that I had asked for help from one of the crystal ponies that had directed me here.

He slowly nodded in understanding, then announces to us: "I'm going to see if the Princess is currently available, if she is then I will tell her of what has happened. Please wait for a few minutes." And with that, he cantered into the entrance of the castle.

Left alone, the guard who I mentioned previously spoke for the first time since I had first met them.

"So, uhh, if you don't mind me asking, sir... what are you, exactly?" He nervously asked me.

I instantly knew what he was referring to and answered, "I'm what's called a human."

He nodded. "And your friends, where are they?"

"I'm not actually too su-"

I was interrupted by the sound of an engine that sounded nearby.

The sound of the Audi S4's 3.0 litre V6, as I turned and found out.

"Never mind, here's Thomas now."

Thomas pulled up in the opposite end of the square in which I had parked in and turned off the ignition, getting out wile doing so.

"I see you actually managed to get here." I quipped bemusedly.

"Good to see you too, Jack." He replied with a chuckle. "So, what's happening?"

I then explained what had happened here earlier, and what could possibly happen, this took a good few minutes.

"Any sign of Captain Sense of Direction?" I asked Thomas, obviously referring to Nathan, who was the one in our group who gets lost sometimes. Ok, more than just sometimes.

He laughed for a bit and replied, "I'm not sure where he is at the moment."

The guard with us is now completely confused. "Alright, who's this Captain Sense of Direction that you're talking about?"

I turned to him and reply with a smile. "Oh, were talking about Nathan. Captain Sense of Direction is just a nickname that we have for him. He has a bad habit of - erm - getting lost."

"Yeah, the Edinburgh incident must never be spoken of. Ever again," Thomas chimes in with his own little smartarse comment.

All of us burst out laughing, the guard probably because he can just imagine the incident must be really bad for us to not talk about, and us at the memory.

I mean, honestly, how hard is it to get to Edinburgh Castle?

The laughter lasted for a few seconds and slowly faded away, with a positive attitude still in the air. After the guard gets his laughter under control, he turns to us and says, "Hey, you guys don't seem so bad to me."

"Cheers, mate." Thomas and I say at the same time. NOT AGAIN!

At that moment, the yellow guard from earlier came back from the entrance and walked over to where we were standing.

"Sir, I have some bad news and good news. I have explained the situation to the princess. Unfortunately, the princess is in the middle of a court session and cannot see you at the moment. The good news is that she has no more appointments after this, so you have quite a lot of time on your hands," he explained. "The prince is overseeing his duties at the moment, however, so we don't know when he'll be available."

"That's quite alright. I think we should all try and see the princess at the same time," I clarify. "...and we don't know when our dear friend Captain Scott will show up."

He raises his eyebrow at my answer. "Who's this Scott you speak of? You mentioned yourself, Thomas and Nathan, but..."

I hold my hand up to him to motion him to stop. "Sorry, I was being sarcastic. Our friend, Nathan, tends to get lost quite a bit, so we give him quite a few nicknames. Captain Sense of Direction is one of them."

He nods his head in understanding.

"We also call him Captain Scott, a famous explorer who made expeditions to the South Pole of our world. He made two expeditions to the region, unfortunately perishing on the second along with his crew. Nathan is the exact opposite of Captain Scott, though."

The guard laughs at this. "Is this Nathan that bad for that sort of thing?"

"You have NO idea." Thomas replies hastily.

We all laugh again, but not as long as last time.

Once it dies down, the yellow guard speak again. "You've got roughly forty five minutes until the session finishes. You should probably find something to do." And with that, the guards return to their original posts.

Thomas and I look at each other, with smiles on our faces. We knew what we were going to do.

"Top Gear?" he asks.

"Sure, I'll get my laptop," I reply. "Which episode are we watching?"

"Not sure, I don't really mind to be honest. So long as it isn't Chris Evans."

With that in mind, I walk over to the car and open the passenger door. I lean in and take the laptop I was going to use at The Chartroom, and open the glove box and get the Top Gear DVD box, which was marked as series ten.

One of, if not the best Top Gear series ever. Chris Evans is nothing in comparison.

I then walk over and lay them on the bonnet of the car.

"Series ten good?"

A smile walks its way onto his face.

"Yep."

Thirty minutes later, we were happier men. Watching the Top Gear crew drive lightweight supercars in France, blame Fifth Gear for burning their props and drive a W12 Golf is one of the best things you can do. But all good things come to an end.

Because guess who finally made it.

We heard the sound of the engine first, and turned to see a BMW drive down the road towards us. He then pulled up in the same place as I had parked. He turned off the engine, got out and walked over to us.

I paused the video and turned to him. "Why hello there, Captain Sense of Direction. Glad you could join us," I pull my sleeve up and have a glance at my Rotary watch, although only because I haven't been able to get round to buying that Tudor watch I've been looking at for quite a while.

Paleno... Palego... Pelago?

Ah, well. Doesn't matter now.

"Although I do remember saying meeting here in fifteen minutes, not fifteen hours."

Nathan glared at me. "VERY funny, Jack."

"Care to join us in watching some Top Gear?" I asked, trying to not piss him off too much.

His expression seemed to lighten up a bit. "Sure, sounds good to me."

And so I resumed the episode. We watched the episode, with smiles on our faces, occasionally laughing when there was the need to do so. We were watching the part where James is holding up everyone on the boat and the others having to push him along when our attention was drawn to one of the entrances.

Out of said entrance walked three guard ponies. Two were identical in build and colours, both being the purple and grey colour, but the third in the centre of was a bright orange colour with a blue mane and tail, although he didn't look as crystallised as the others. The most interesting thing about this pony, I thought, at the time, was that this one had... wings?

I really have seen everything. Either that, or I have been slipped the world's strongest ecstasy tablet.

I paused the video and closed the laptop over, as I think I know what is going to happen. I turned around to face him. "Yes?"

The pony in the middle paused for a second as he took in our appearances, then took in a breath.

"The Princess would like to see you now," he announced to us.

I smiled and put the laptop back in the car, along with the DVD box. I then shut the door. I turned to my friends and said simply: "Right then, let's go." I turn back towards the guard. "Lead the way then, Mr...?"

He spread his wings out and told us, almost with a proud smile adorning his face: "Sergeant Flash Sentry. Right this way, sirs."

He then walks to the front of us and we follow, with the other two guards in tow, as we were led to have our first meeting with royalty.

I began to get nervous at that moment in time.

Chapter 3 - Meeting the Prince and Princess

Author's Note

Sorry for the chapter being late, I had planned the chapter to be released on Thursday, but the website for some odd fucking reason that is against all science took me back to my user page and I lost everything, so I had to rewrite the whole damned chapter out again. :twilightangry2: At least I'll remember to save frequently next time.

Enjoy! 😀

Chapter 3 - Meeting the Prince and Princess

The orange Pegasus guard led us up the stairs of one of the entrances, with the guards following us from behind. The journey, he explained as we head up the stairs was going to take a few minutes to get there, so if any questions we wanted to ask before we met the princess, now would be a good time.

I was feeling kind of nervous about meeting her, because, you see, I had never actually met royalty, or any form of government before. I had a basic idea of what to do if a Lord Lieutenant met me while he was attending something, but I gathered from what the guards had said that this Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was the ruler of the Crystal Empire. Meeting with a representative of the Queen/Royal family was one thing, but a leader of a nation?

I shook it off, hopefully it's not a big deal, and there's a simple solution to all of this and can go back relatively soon.

The journey to the throne room was a relatively quiet one. Not that I cared, mind you. The foyer was all... well, crystal and shiny - the floors, the walls; hell, there was even a crystal design to the chairs in the foyer. I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if the throne was made from crystals of some sort. If the crystals were replaced by ice, I would probably have sworn we were in that ice palace in Die Another Day. It looked absolutely beautiful. It was... out of this world.

I'm sorry for the pun. I had to say it.

As we approached the throne room, there were two more purple coated, grey maned guards who stood on either side of the large doors. They were looking straight ahead at first, but after a few seconds, they glanced at us, and their jaws drop. Only a little bit, right enough, but it was definitely noticeable.

"A-Are they the visitors h-he was talking about?" the one on the left asked, completely shocked by our appearances.

"Yep, that must be us!" Thomas answered as Flash stopped to talk to the guards.

The one on the right snorted. "He certainly wasn't kidding when he said you guys were tall."

"Either that, or you guys are extremely small." Nathan chimed in.

"I doubt it. You're all taller than Princess Cadance, except maybe you," he replied pointing towards Nathan. "You could probably be the same height as her."

I smirk, then look at him when he says, "Hey, you're probably taller than Princess Celestia, for all we know," while pointing his hoof towards... me?

I raised my eyebrow at this remark, I've not heard of this 'Princess Celestia' that they're talking about. "Princess Celestia? Sorry for asking, but who is that?"

The one on the left just gave me this deadpan look, which I can't help but think back to my English teacher in high school. "You're kidding, right?" I shook my head to confirm that I had no fucking clue whatsoever. "You're not from here, are you?" he asked, albeit with a slightly better attitude than before. Again, I shook my head.

"Nope," Thomas blurted. "Completely lost."

Flash turned round and explained, "You could probably ask the princess for information while you're there. Speaking of which," he turns back to the guards. "Has nothing changed since here since I left?"

The guard on the right is the one that spoke. "Actually, Sergeant, the Prince has just taken a small break from his duties for a while. He's in the throne room along with the princess right now, actually."

"Thank you, Corporal," he replied. Turning back to us, he asked: "Well, shall we continue?"

"Yep." Thomas, Nathan and I all responded, at the same time... again.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

With that, he opened the door to the throne room... and the first thing I noticed apart form the Prince and Princess in the room is that the throne is indeed made from some type of crystal.

No surprise there, then.

Flash Sentry then walked forward towards the princess and bowed. After this he brings himself back up. "Your Highness, the visitors."

"Thank you, Sergeant," she replied in a sweet voice that I have never heard the likes of before before. (Growing up in Glasgow was probably a factor to that, but oh well.) "You are dismissed. Return to your previous post."

Flash then saluted the princess. "Yes, ma'am." He then turned around and proceeded to walk back down the throne room towards us and we stood aside to let him pass. He walked out of the door, and the other two guards that had accompanied us followed suit. The door was then covered in some form of glowing, pink aura of sorts and the door shut, while nobody had shut the door.

Interesting, I thought.

We then turned back to the princess, who was a lot taller than the other ponies. The guards were definitely not joking there. She seemed to have both wings and a... horn? So what does that make her? A - pegacorn, or a - unipeg?

She was also... quite pink. Her coat was of a pink tone, with her wingtips having a more purple tone to them. I'm talking a sort of violet colour; speaking of which, her mane and tail was sort of split in its own Tricolore, instead featuring being a sort of light cream, a rather moderate rose colour, and a dark purple that was darker than her wingtip's colour. Her eyes were that of a light purple. She also has a mark symbolising a crystal heart. What the hell is with these marks?

I decided to clear my throat and speak on behalf of myself and the other two, bowing down as a sign of respect. "Your Majesty, thank you for allowing us to speak on such a short notice."

The princess smiled at this, then proceeds to surprise all of us by saying: "Thank you. Rise, I'm not your ruler, so you don't need to treat me as such," leaving us all shocked, but choosing not to show it.

She continued her explanation. "My name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but Cadence is fine. I am the ruler of the Crystal Empire, the place in which you are in now. He," pointing towards a white stallion with several shades of blue in his mane and tail and taking off a mixture of gold and purple armour, "is my husband, Prince Shining Armor."

I rose from my bow and turned towards him. "How do you do, Your Highness?"

To my surprise, he chuckled and said: "I'm fine, thanks. Please, just call me Shining Armor. You can relax, you know. You've been through quite a rough experience after all, haven't you?"

Stunned from what Shining Armor has just said, I managed to get a response out. "Yes, we have, it's been rather confusing..." I turn back and face the princess. "I guess introductions are in order. My name is Jack Luss."

"Thomas Cooper, Your Highness."

"Nathan Lang."

"And before you ask, we're human," I answer the question that I knew was coming next.

The princess smiles at us, nodding her head in understanding. "Interesting names. Where are you all from, if you don't mind me asking?"

"We're from Glasgow, a city in Scotland," Thomas explained. "I doubt you'll have heard of it. It's in a nation called the United Kingdom."

Cadence looked away, to jog her memory. After a few seconds, she turned back. "I can't say I've heard of this United Kingdom before."

"We might be from a different planet altogether," I said, trying to work this out. "We've never seen anything of your kind before. Well, technically we have, but they don't talk, they're not all that brightly coloured and they're not Unicorns or Pegasi."

"We haven't seen your kind before either," Cadence said. "Is there many of your kind come from?"

"Scotland's population is about 5.3 million, but the last population count was somewhere in the region of 7.5 billion across the entire globe." Thomas said.

Both Cadence's and Shining Armor's jaws drop at hearing this. "That's... that's quite a large number..." Cadence managed to say in a rather stunned tone of voice.

"Our world's population can't be more than 1 billion -" Shining said in an equally shocked tone of voice. "Equestria's is only about 84 million..."

About the same as Germany's, I thought.

"Our world's population has boomed over the last seven decades or so," Thomas explained. "It went from 2.6 billion in 1952 to 7.5 billion in 2017."

"How did you get here exactly?" Cadence asked us all. "It will help in us being able to find you a way home."

"Well you see, Princess, it's like this..." I began.

I then told her everything that had happened in the lead up to this, beginning with the bar argument, and then the race that had kind of happened today. Cadence's expression turned rather sad when I mentioned the portal was onyx in colour, and then told her about how we arrived at the castle (or how one of us almost didn't turn up due to probably getting lost again).

Cadence seemed to go into thought for a while. "I understand... I think I know what brought you here. However, I don't know for certain, and it would be unfair of me to give you anything but facts," she finally deduces. "I need to send a letter to my aunts, I was reading a letter from them before you came in. I had earlier sent them a letter earlier regarding you and your situation. They said they hadn't seen anything like you before either, and they would like to meet you. Excuse me one moment."

She turns to her left, and her horn glowed in a similar way to that of the door earlier, only her horn glowed a sort of baby blue, as opposed to the door's aura being that of a purple colour. I was probably going out on a limb here, but because there was only two ponies with horns in the room, I guessed the aura was probably Shining's.

To my amazement, a roll of parchment was levitated in front of her with the same blue aura as her horn was glowing. She also took what I guessed was a quill, and started to write rather quickly. She finished in about twenty seconds and rolled up the parchment. Her horn glowed even brighter, and after a few seconds, her horn shot out a laser which hit the roll, making it disappear. She did this for a second time, although I didn't know why at the time.

"There we go," she sighed before turning back at us, and raised an eyebrow at our facial expressions. "Is something wrong?" she asked as if she's missed something.

"What - the - hell - was that?" I asked, my jaw still wide open. My turn to be surprised, I suppose.

"What?"

"The thing you just did?" I asked again, pointing to my head to prove a point.

"Magic," she said in a way like I'm supposed to know. "Why?"

"We don't have magic where we come from, only in fairy tales and works of fiction," I explained, still trying to process what had just happened.

"Really?" She asked. I nodded my head to confirm. She then laughed and said "Don't let my sister in law hear you say that. She'd go - let's say a bit mental - about hearing that."

"Is that who you sent the second letter to?" I asked, having a feeling that the second letter was aimed at her, probably why she mentioned it in the first place.

"Well guessed, Jack," Cadence said, smiling slightly at my guess. "My sister-in-law is also another princess. Her name is Twilight Sparkle, and she is the Princess of Friendship and Element of Magic."

"How many princesses are there?" I asked out of curiosity. "Just wondering."

"Four," she replied. "There's Princess Celestia, the Princess of the Day, and one of the diarchs of Equestria. Then there's Princess Luna, who is the Princess of the Night and the other diarch of Equestria. Both raise the sun and moon respectively."

"Raise the sun and moon?" Thomas asked, not quite believing what he was hearing.

"Yeah," Shining Armor answered, confused. "Why? Doesn't someone raise the moon and sun on your world?"

"No," Thomas and I replied again, our eyebrows raised as if he asked us if the grass is blue. Thomas decided to elaborate. "The sun on our world is stationary, and we orbit around the sun, with the moon orbiting our planet."

"Wow," Shining Armor replied, probably dumfounded at the concept. "Wonder how they would react to that."

Cadence continued her explanation. "I've already told you about Twilight, and I am the ruler of the Crystal Empire and Princess of Love."

Nathan went wide-eyed and stupidly asked: "Please tell me that doesn't mean what I think it means..."

Cadence's eyes at this point went slightly wider at what Nathan had implied, Shining Armor was giving Nathan a glare that would have killed him if it were a knife, and Thomas and I just facepalmed.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, NATHAN! SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU STUPID FUD!

Cadence recomposed herself and replied, albeit with a slight tone of irritation in her voice. " I can assure you it does not mean what you think it means..."

Nathan released a breath. "Oh, thank God." He then turned to me and then saw the grim look I was giving him, that is effectively trying to say do that again and you're dead. He gave a sheepish grin to the princess. "Sorry."

"Fecking idiot," I mutter under my breath.

Yep, we're the best set of diplomats Scotland has to offer, aren't we?

"Anyway..." Thomas chimes in to salvage the conversation. "What happens now, Princess?"

"Well-" Cadence begins, before a flash of light gold appears in the room, along with a scroll with a burgundy ribbon keeping it secure.

"Oh, that was fast." She murmured to herself. She opened the scroll and reads it. A smile appears on her face as she does so. She turned her head to us with the smile on her face. "The Princesses are going to raise the moon, and come down here for a visit, to meet you all. They said they would be here within the end of the hour. Unfortunately, Twilight and her friends can't come today. Celestia said it seems they've been sent on a mission by the map in her castle."

"Well, that sounds brilliant," I replied with a happy smile on my face. The more friends we make here, the better it will be for us to stay if a way back isn't possible. It probably would be, but at least it's given us an eye opening experience.

Either that, or we somehow got really high.

"In the mean time..." Cadence said, turning towards the door. "Why don't we head to the dining hall for something to eat? I don't know about any of you, but I'm feeling rather hungry."

Nathan's and Thomas' eyes lit up like a torch in a pitch black room. "Yes, please!" they both replied excitedly, in unison. This is really beginning to piss me off.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Shining Armor asked, walking over to the door with his wife, and opens the doors. As I suspected earlier, his colour for magic is the pink I saw on the door earlier. Thomas, Nathan and I paused for a second, then we followed suit.

I wasn't as excited for dinner as my two pals were, for one reason, and it had been bothering me since we went inside the castle. Humans are omnivores, and the ponies were more than likely herbivores. I wasn't ready to go vegetarian any time soon, and I still never will. I'd miss the fish too much. And the chicken nuggets. And the haggis. And the bacon. And the steaks. And the slice/saussage rolls. I could go on.

But then again, if I don't...

"Jack?"

I turned round to my left to see Cadence look at me with a concerned facial expression. "Is everything alright?"

I paused for a moment, thinking of how to word my answer. "Yes, I'm fine, it's just that..." and I trail off again still unsure.

"Jack?" Cadence asked again. "You can tell me whatever it is."

"Well, I'm not sure how to word this... so I'm going to be rather blunt here." I replied, making sure the others raise their eyebrows at me.

...

"Humans - are, most of the time - omnivores." I stated rather bluntly, and looked down, fearing the repercussions... that never came.

"Is that all you're worried about?" I heard Shining Armor ask.

I lifted my head back up to find the confused faces of Cadence and Shining looking at me, with a stupefied expression glued to my face. I was expecting a harsh reprimanding or to get into a debate about the ethics of eating meat, but instead, it seemed they were more accepting than that.

"Aren't you the slightest bit upset?" I asked.

"We have visits occasionally from the Griffon Kingdom and the Minotaurs, who are carnivores. We're not going to hold your diet against you," Cadence replied, adding: "Sure, some ponies may be slightly upset, but you've probably been eating meat most of your life, so a rapid change in diet would probably be difficult to cope with, and while I don't eat meat myself, I don't have an issue with others doing it, like the Griffon politicians."

I breathed out happily, relieved at the fact that they were more forgiving than I had first anticipated. Thomas understood now why I had at first I was worried, and patted me on the back, giving me a thumbs up to show he appreciated what I had done.

"I wouldn't have thought about that until we got to the dining hall. Thanks," he whispered to me.

"No bother, mate."

We walked down the hallway, for quite some time, so I take my Sony Xperia smartphone from my pocket and check the time. 19:17. A bit later than when I would usually get my dinner, but it wasn't too late. I unlocked my phone using my facial recognition and checked in the top right hand corner. No signal, and 94% battery left.

"What's that?"

I turned to see Shining pointing at my phone with his hoof.

"Oh, this is my mobile phone," I explained, turning my phone round to show him. "It allows me to communicate almost anywhere on our world. We all have one."

On cue, Thomas and Nathan stopped walking and pulled their phones out of their pockets as well, a Samsung Galaxy S7 and an iPhone 7, respectively.

"That's impressive," Shining commented. "Much more advanced than anything Equestria has to offer at the moment. How does it work?"

"It has a battery on the inside that contains electrical energy that is used for all of the different functions," I began to explain. "It has a touch screen, so if I run my finger along the screen while it's on, like so..." I proceeded to demonstrate and the screen gets swiped to the left to show various applications I have on my phone, "...voilà!"

"That's incredible!" Cadence exclaimed, the wide eyes showing she had never seen this type of technology before. "How does the communication work?"

"Artificial satellites," Nathan answered. "They orbit our planet, like our moon, only these ones are much closer to Earth, only about 36,000 kilometres above the planet. The phone sends and receives signals from these satellites, and the satellite takes these signals set and "amplifies" it, if you will, so the signal is strong enough to hear."

"Given that these satellites don't exist here in Equestria," Thomas moaned. "They're pretty much useless for that function. And we probably won't be able to charge them either."

"We can play games on them until it does run out, though," I said optimistically. "And we can also take photographs as well."

Cadence's and Shining's jaw was threatening to hit the floor, until Cadence said: "You're not being serious, are you?"

"Yes, absolutely," I replied, which gives me an idea. I turn my phone back around and select the camera application on my phone. "Can you smile for me for a few seconds, Cadence?"

"Yes, of course," Cadence replied, before giving me a smile.

I held my phone in landscape mode and pointed my phone's back camera at Cadence. Happy with the camera angle, I then pressed the button to take a photograph. After it has been processed, I pressed the picture thumbnail on the top right hand corner and let it pop up on the screen. I then turned it round to show Cadence and Shining.

"How's that for a photo?" I ask.

Cadence's face lit up instantly as she saw the photo. Her smile had been replaced by a Cheshire Cat-like grin.

"That's so brilliant!" she exclaimed.

"It also allows us to connect to this service called the Internet," Thomas explained.

"What's that?" Shining asked.

Thomas thought for a few seconds. "It's kind of hard to explain. Think of it like a library with all the information, but no books. And also one of the weirdest places for people to communicate."

No, Thomas! Don't tell them about THAT side of the internet!

"Hmm, I suppose makes sense." Shining seemed to be happy with that answer.

"Anyway," I said, to get the other's attention. "Shall we get going, then?"

The others nodded and we followed Cadence and Shining down the corridor to the dining hall, passing various guards on duty, who saluted us as we approached the door to what I assumed was the dining hall, given away by the distinct smell of food.

That meeting went well. Wonder what they have in store for us at the dining hall?

Chapter 4 - An Interesting Dinner

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 5

We walked through the corridors, getting closer to the entrance I knew the way to the cars, so I sped up and caught up with Shining Armor, as did Thomas.

"What are these cars like?" Shining asked. We hadn't really explained what the cars actually looked like themselves, so it was fair enough that he was asking this question.

"Well, our cars are all sporty saloon cars," I explained. "Nathan owns a 2015 BMW M3, Thomas has a 2014 Audi S4 and I have a 2016 Mercedes-Benz C 63 AMG."

"Who makes them?" Shining asked.

"All of the companies are from a country called Germany," I answered. "It has roughly the same population as Equestria. These companies are rivals to each other. The M3 is the sports version of the BMW 3-series, and it's made by BMW. They're based in the city of Munich, in Bavaria, a district of Germany. The S4 is the sporty version of the A4, made by Audi, a member of the VW-Audi group. They're also based somewhere in Bavaria, but I cannae remember the name."

"Canny?" Shining raised his eyebrow at me.

"Huh?" I then realised he wasn't from Scotland, let alone this world, so he won't know what it means. "Aye, it's just a slang term in Scotland that means, cannot or can't."

"I take it 'Aye' means yes?" he smiled at this.

"It does," I laughed. I then got an absolutely genius idea. "It would be hilarious if we went and talked in slang to the guards, it would take a while to wrap their heads around the way we talked in Glasgow!"

Shining burst out laughing, which proceeded for a couple of seconds. "I can imagine Sergeant Sentry trying to get his head around that, and then when he's had enough..." and then does what I can say is a surprisingly accurate impersonation of Flash. "'Sir, with all due respect and all... WHAT are you SAYING!?'"

We laughed again for a while again, passing Flash on the way, which was when we stopped. I was still a bit giggly right enough, but I calmed down after a few seconds. After a few seconds I continued to explain while we walked down the stairs.

"The Merc C 63 is one of the sporty versions of the C-Class, sitting between the C 43 and the C 63 S. Mercedes is based in Stuttgart, Germany."

"Ah, so they're rivals?"

"Yes," I responded. "They're all quite fast. The Audi goes from 0-100kph/62mph in 4.7 seconds-"

"WHAT!?" Shining exclaimed. "But no pony can run that fast! The fastest pony could run at 45 miles an hour at a push!"

I ignored him and continued. "Top speed is limited to 155 miles an hour, but some reckon it can do at least 180 with it turned off, and it still has enough space top put your shopping!"

Shining had stopped, jaw wide open, astounded at such a number. Cadence was surprised as well, but she didn't look anything like Shining did.

"Honey, you'll catch flies with that open mouth," Cadence playfully commented.

Shining finally closed his mouth and gulped back. "That's... quite a high number..."

"The M3 does 0-62 in 4.1 seconds," Nathan chimed in. "and has a top speed again limited to 155 mph, but taken off, the car has been said to do 190 miles an hour."

"And the Merc also does 0-62 in 4.1 seconds as well, but can do somewhere between 180 and 200 mph with the limiter off," I boasted. "And it's more practical than the Alfa 4C sports car."

We opened the doors and sure enough, our cars were there. We each walked over to our respective cars and opened the door. Shining and Cadence walked over to my car first and peered into the car. And then they could see why the anatomy problem I had mentioned earlier was relevant.

"Ah."

"Yep, that's a bit of a problem," I said sheepishly. "Unless you have an immediate solution, I don't know how you could work around that."

Cadence thought over this, then to my surprise, jumped on to the seat and sat herself down, but more in a way that humans would sit. She seemed a bit uncomfortable at doing this, but she still couldn't reach the pedals. She got there, right enough, when I moved the seat towards the pedals forward enough. She could reach the pedals and press them down, but she was one of the taller ponies!

"You might be able to reach them," I started. "But other ponies will struggle, so you'll have to have somepony to try and work this out properly."

Cadence sighed. "I suppose you're right. This type of technology would save ponies a lot of hassle, especially in rural areas, but somepony will have to work this out.

"Word will go about your cars pretty quickly, so no doubt some of the richer ponies will try to cash in on the idea. You could discuss the issues with them," Cadence suggested. It was a good idea, so I nodded, and gestured for her to get out of the car so I could drive to this old chariot depot that she had spoken of earlier. She understood, and hopped out of the car with a smile on her face.

I then sat down in the seat again, and started the engine, which gave Cadence and Shining Armor a fright. Shining comically jumped behind his wife so he would have at least some form of protection. I would have expected it to be the other way around, but there you go. I laughed at the sight. "Relax, that's just the sound of the engine starting up."

Cadence relaxed, but Shining was still wary, so I got out and opened the back right door. "You can get in if you want," I offered. Cadence looked to his husband and raised an eyebrow. Knowing he was defeated, Shining sighed and hopped in to the back seats, along with his wife. She shut the door behind her with her magic as she sat behind me.

I turned back. "Alright, where's this chariot bay you spoke of earlier?" I asked.

"It's just down the road, take the second right and it's the large warehouse," Cadence explained. "I should go and tell the others wh-"

"No need," I pointed out, then rolled down the windscreen. Peering out the window, I shouted to Tom and Nathan. "Just follow me down the road!"

"Got it," Nathan replied, walking over to his car as was Thomas.

I then turned back to Cadence. "Should I go slowly or should I floor it?"

To my surprise, she said with a smirk: "Floor it."

I ignored Shining's shocked expression and turned forward. I put the gear stick into Drive mode and turned back. "You might want to fasten your seatbelts," I warned. Both complied, with Shining being rather hasty with it. With that done, I floored the accelerator pedal. I smirked as I heard the squeals of the tyres propelling the car along past the Crystal Heart.

I kept my eyes on the road but glanced at the rear view mirror to view the wide-eyed expression of Cadence and the panic-stricken expression of Shining Armor as the 476bhp engine kept the car accelerating. As the car approached 60mph, the second turn came into sight and I braked down to thirty, then quickly, but calmly turned the steering wheel to get around the corner quickly. A yelp could be heard escaping Shining Armor's lips as the rear end of the car slipped out, which was then corrected with some counter steer to the right.

I heard the other two at that point race down the road as well, with the M3 in front, while the S4 lagged by about a metre or so behind. I couldn't see this as the building that I passed entering the street was blocking the view, but the sound of the BMW's straight-six sounded closer than the Audi's V6.

I went more gentle going down the street, as the depot was coming up on the left. When the time came, I pressed on the brakes and brought the car to a stand still. As I turned round, I saw Shining looking like he had just seen his own ghost, and Cadence, who looked like a mixture of frightened and thrilled at the same time. I looked and saw Nathan spinning out his M3 in what I can only guess is him trying (and failing) to pull off a slide similar to mine.

"Spinning out at 60, that's excellent," I said in a sarcastic tone as I got out the car and walked over to the large door to open it. I found the door was unlocked, so I pulled the handle for one door across the way. I don't know what the door was made of even to this day, but I know that it was extremely heavy, so it was a pain in the arse to try and pull to the side. Once I had that one done I moved over to the other side and slid the other one over. Took a good fifteen seconds to do so. I do go to the gym every Tuesday and Thursday after work, but I'm not the strongest man in the world.

No sooner than I had finished, Thomas' car drove past me, followed by Nathan's.

Aye, cheers for your help, ya bampots, I thought.

I turned back to the car to see Shining and Cadence getting out, with a grin on Cadence's lips and an angry glare being shot at Cadence by Shining Armor.

"Come on, Shining," Cadence said in a teasing tone. "You did enjoy it, really."

"I DID NOT!" Shining retorted, clearly "angry" at my driving. "That driving was really dangerous. I don't know how you could have enjoyed it. YOU," pointing at me, "could have killed somepony."

I rolled my eyes and turned to him. "Shining, it's almost 9 o'clock. This isn't rush hour."

His retort died on the spot. He was trying to get something out, but he eventually just gave up. With that all settled, I got back in the car and drove into the garage. The first thing I noticed was that someone had turned the lights on, which was unusual in a place that Cadence had earlier explained was unused since the Crystal Empire's return. I assume one of the others had already parked and had found the light switch.

The next thing I noticed was the chariots. There was about twenty of them and despite not being used for quite some time, they were all beautiful despite not being cleaned. They weren't made from gold, but there was a slight sapphire colour that was radiating from them. It looked like they had just been washed and polished, despite me knowing that they hadn't. I knew there was only one way of explaining this.

Magic. It has to be.

I kept driving and found a spot between two chariots. I ended up having to do a three point turn and fit in the spot, with a metre of space on either side to spare. I then decided to not waste any time, and grabbed my rucksack from the passenger seat, which contained (as I checked) a spare pair of clothes should it ever be needed (I did NOT need another Ayr incident), my laptop, the charger for said laptop, my travel DVD case which contained some of my favourite films, the Top Gear series ten DVD box, Robert Ludlum's The Bourne Identity because I had seen all the films and thought "why not read the books?", a bottle of Lagavulin Scotch and a solar powered charger for my phone.

Oh, shite, I completely forgot that I even had this.

I closed the rucksack again and put it onto my back. I then turned off the engine and got out again, closing the door shut not as hard as a slam, but still pretty hard. I found the other two talking to each other. Thomas was laughing, while Nathan had a sheepish smile on his face. Probably taking about the next D1 drift star over there.

I walked over to them and they turned to me. "Finally," Nathan said, doing a look to his watch. "What took you so long?"

I knew he was trying to get back at me for earlier, so I decided to turn the gun on him. "I was getting stuff out of the car," I began, then smirked. "...and I also opened the doors for you as well, while you were too busy trying to be Ken Block."

That shut him up. His expression turned neutral, which I know means I have pissed him off. He didn't get the reaction he wanted from me. I turned and headed back for the exit, with Thomas following close behind with whatever stuff he'd taken with him, as did Nathan, who had absolutely bugger all with him.

Walking back outside, we saw Cadence and Shining talking to members of the guard, who had either come to rescue the Prince and Princess from my oh so erratic driving or they were informing the Princess of something that needed her attention. They then saluted and flew back to their posts, as both were Pegasi.

Cadence turned around and saw us walking over to her. "Ah, there you all are," she sighed. "I've just received a letter from my sister-in-law. She says that she has finished with her and her friend's task with a partial success. She saw the letters and she says that she would be delighted to meet you all and that her friends would come with her. Though, if I'm going to be honest, I think she secretly wants knowledge on a culture other than ours."

I sighed at this, reminding me of a nerd back in high school who knew everything, but also stood up for himself a lot when he got a lot of shit from people in the school. Teachers included. "She's a bit of a bookworm, isn't she?" I asked, already suspecting the answer to be similar to "yes".

"Unfortunately, her desire for knowledge often gives others the impression to that of a nerd," Cadence exhaled sadly. "She was a bit asocial when she was Celestia's personal protégé, and even after studying friendship, she can be a bit crazy when she wants information."

I nodded in understanding. "There was a kid in my year called Maximillian Vanderpool, who was a bit of a nerd himself. He got bullied at school a lot because of it. It didn't help that he was born in the UK to a Dutch father and a German mother. He not only got bullied for his knowledge, but he got the 'F off ya mad junkie Dutchie,' and the 'go and start another war Fritz' from people in the school. Even some teachers got in the act."

Cadence stood there in shock, absolutely appalled by hearing this. "That's disgraceful! Were they punished eventually?"

"Not quite. He tried telling the head teacher, but the ringleader's parents knew him personally, so he was blackmailed by them into doing nothing. One day he was walking down the corridor and said ringleader makes a comment so sadistic I can't even repeat it myself."

"What happened next?"

I sighed. "He snapped. He turned to this bully and knocks him out cold in the nose with a single punch."

Cadence gasped at hearing this. Soon she recomposed herself. "While I cannot condone violence against others, I can understand why he would lash out."

"He even fought one of the bully's friends when they confronted him," I continued. "He got knocked out as well. Immediately after, the head teacher arrived and he was raging. Poor Max got expelled, though I get the feeling his parents were more proud of him than disappointed for not taking shite from a loud mouth."

"Language, Jack," Cadence commanded sternly.

"Sorry, you just tend to do it when you're Scottish. When did Twilight say she was coming?"

"She aimed to be at the castle for two o'clock sharp tomorrow."

"That alright, lads?" I asked, turning to face Thomas and Nathan. A 'yep' was heard from Nathan, and Thomas responded with an 'aye'.

"Excellent," Shining said, happy that everything looked like it was going to work out. "Now, let's get back to the castle. I'd say it's getting pretty late." With that, we walked back to the castle. I then explained to Cadence and Shining what was in my backpack - the laptop, the charger, the solar charger for my phone, which they were relieved to hear about, and the DVDs.

Eventually, we headed back up the stairs again, while talking more about things that had happened to us recently, especially Cadence talking about her experience with this centaur called Tirek, who was this mad, crazy guy who wanted to steal all the magic in Equestria. Personally, I think he's a bit thick. I mean, why steal all of it, when not all of it can be used at the one time, and does he really need it?

But I'm new to Equestria, so what the fuck could I know.

Cadence then talked about her brief time in a place called Tartarus, and from her description of the place, it sounded a lot like what some would call hell. Boy, I thought going to Park Head was bad...

Anyway, Shining left to go and sort something else that had been brought to their attention while we had been in the depot, leaving Cadence to show us our rooms for the time being. She led us up a few stairs and then along the corridors to show us the three empty rooms: one was at the end of the corridor, and the other two faced directly opposite each other and were a bit closer to the end of the corridor that we were standing.

"Now I'm allowing you to pick your ro-" Cadence began, but never got to finish as Thomas and Nathan already beat me to the two nearest rooms. I wasn't particularly bothered either way, to be perfectly honest. Cadence giggled and turned to me. "Looks like you landed yourself one of the best rooms in the castle," she commented as she walked down the corridor to said room. I followed her to the room, as Cadence opened the door with her magic and gestured me to go in. Being a gentleman, however, I shook my head.

"Ladies first," I said, while I gestured for her to go first.

"Oh, thank you, Jack," she said while walking inside. "You act like a gentlecolt even only being here for less than a day."

I chuckled. I knew what she meant, obviously, but I'd never been called a gentleman before, even with being with Emily for three years. "Thanks, Cadence. The term we use is gentleman, but I will admit that I've never been called a gentleman before either, even with being in a relationship for nearly three years."

Cadence cocked an eyebrow at this. "Never?"

"No, I don't think so."

Cadence then stared into my eyes for what seemed like an eternity. I wasn't quite sure what she was doing at the time, though I guessed that she was looking to see if I was being deceitful.

"Heh, that ended four years ago. Not in a fashion I would have liked..." I said, looking around the room while trying to avoid eye contact with Cadence. I just now kicked myself in the head for pointing out my previous relationship with Emily. I detest her for what she did, it was despicable.

"What did she do to you, Jack?" Cadence asked me, making me turn back to her.

"I- uh- she-"

"Emily hurt you, didn't she?"

I stood there, open-mouthed and wide-eyed in shock. There is no fucking way she knows about her, or what she did. The only one who knows about what she did was Thomas, and he was there when it happened.

"I- b-b-but- HOW?" I asked, still shocked by her knowing of my relationship.

Cadence didn't answer. "I can see a rough idea of what happened. You loved her, and you believed that she loved you as much as you did. But just as you were going to pop the question to the love of your life, she stabbed you in the back."

I stood there, with tears beginning to build up in my eyes, extremely upset for what happened that night, but growing up in Glasgow, and often going to the East side, I refused to let them fall. I looked back at what had happened over the course of that weekend. I mean, catching her sleeping with another guy on the Friday is one thing, and for that, I wasn't upset, I was just pissed. It's what happened on the Sunday that made me truly upset, and made me truly hate her with all my heart for as long as I live...

"Jack!" Cadence tried to get my attention. I turned back to her, to see what she would say.

"Come here," She said, gesturing me to come over closer to her. I complied, not knowing what she would say. To my surprise, she stood up on her hind legs, and leaned against my body while wrapping her forehooves around my neck in an embrace.

Completely shocked by her gesture, I reciprocated, in a mixture of not wanting to appear rude and also, well, thanking her for calming me down... as it was doing exactly that. My breathing was slowing down to normal, and I no longer felt the need to fight back the tears, as I felt they were no longer there in the first place. Her fur may have had some contributing factor there. It was extremely smooth, almost like silk to the touch. I never expected her fur to be this smooth, or any pony's fur, for that matter.

"Thank you."

Eventually we let go of each other, and Cadence dropped back to her normal height. "Feeling better?" she asked, albeit with a smile on her face, which I happily returned.

"Better."

Just like the Snickers ad.

She then gave me a run down of everything in the room, from the kitchen-type area, to the shower room, and even showed me the place where the wine and other drinks were kept, separate from the fridge, with a couple of wine bottles already there. I went to my bag, pulled out my bottle of Lagavulin and placed it there.

"What was that?" she asked me as I closed the door.

"One of my favourite types of Scotch whiskey, a type of whiskey only made in Scotland, known for its peat-like taste," I replied. "This has been aged for 16 years. I really like this stuff, we had it for New Year's 2015, and we tried it. Don't know about the other two, though, or anyone else that came over."

"Maybe I'll try it in the future if that's okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I answered. "Don't see why not."

"Well, I better get going," Cadence said, turning towards the door. "It's getting rather late, and tomorrow's Monday. If you're up early enough, we can talk over breakfast. Court starts at 9 in the morning, and it looks like I have a lot of petitioners tomorrow, if the appointments are anything to go by."

"Ah, that sucks," I sighed. "And I thought my job was bad!"

"Is it boring?" Cadence asked.

"VERY."

Cadence chuckled at this and opened the door with her magic. "Goodbye for now, Jack. Oh, and here's the keys," she said, while levitating a key over to me.

"Yeah, see you later," I said as I caught the key from mid air.

When the door shut, I walked over to the door and locked it. I then moved to the bathroom and closed the door. I stripped down to only my boxers, and looked in the mirror at my reflection. The scar on my chest is still the thing that attracts my attention the most. Getting out of that situation alive was extremely lucky of me that day. I'm still getting flashbacks from it, now that I think back on it now.

I then took my clothes and folded them up and put them under my arm. Leaving the bathroom, I put them all onto a chair next to my bed. Maybe I can get one more use out of these clothes before they need to be washed again.

I then pulled out my phone, along with my earphones I kept in the other pocket, and lay in my bed. I then went through some of my music and when I was about to doze off, I took the earphones out and turned the music off. I then waited for myself to start sleeping, which doesn't take all that long.

Before I do, I thought hard over what has happened today. Fell into a portal with our cars, and came into a world with colourful, talking ponies, who acted much nicer than anyone I have met in Glasgow before. Being told we will not be able to return for some time... staying in a castle...

This day was certainly... different.

Author's Note

Merry Christmas to everyone reading this!

I won't start writing the next chapter until after Boxing Day, so you'll probably have to wait another week until a new chapter gets released.

Chapter 6 - The Morning After

I woke up, my eyelids as wide as I could physically make them without wanting to. I was panting heavily, trying to regain a hold of myself. Seeing the ceiling, I was confused as to what the hell had just happened to me. I slowly rose my head up from where I was, and was met with the room I was sleeping in before.

Must've been a nightmare. It had to have been.

Feeling like a bit of a pillock, I grabbed my phone from the bedside cabinet and pressed the lock button. The time it was saying on the screen was 04:16. I turned over to the window, and despite me closing the curtains over earlier but leaving the window open (because I prefer to sleep in a cool room rather than a hot stuffy one), I looked at the small gap I left open, and sure enough, it was relatively dark outside.

I groaned and turned back over again, half-glad, half-annoyed. I was glad that it was just a nightmare, but I was slightly more pissed off at the subject of said dream. Of all the dreams in the world that I could have had, I just had to have that one, didn't I?

Usually, if I wake up after half three at night, then chances are I'm not going to sleep again, thus adding to my annoyance. Therefore, I decided to go on my phone and play some Dictator 2, which for me is always stress relieving - looking at the oligarchs' ridiculous demands, seeing the oligarchs cause an uprising when I say no, watching Australia try to invade Madagascar, or Tyrania as it's called in game, watching the police lose their shit for being exposed for tax fraud by me, the army peeved at me for not making a cover-up story for an accident, and the cycle continues in a similar fashion for about ten minutes or so.

Eventually, I decided enough was enough and put members of the mafia in jail before turning my phone off. I yawned and put the phone back on the bedside cabinet again, before trying the trick that usually works most of the time. Trying to stay awake.

Seriously, if you can't get to sleep, try to stay awake for as long as you can if you haven't tried it already. Reverse psychology will help you get to sleep. As I found out at my brother's music concert the hard way.

Yep, that was pretty embarrassing.

It didn't take that long for me to drift off again, with me hoping this sort of incident did not happen again.

I woke up rather groggily later on, with that feeling of "I DON'T WANNA GET OUT OF BED!" screaming in my head. With that in mind, I turned back to the bedside cabinet and had a glance at my watch. 08:04, or so it claimed the time to be. You never know, it could be completely off by a country mile.

I decided to get up and have breakfast early, because despite being in another world full of talking ponies and the possibility of not going back, it was still a Monday. I hate Mondays, as you probably do, but at least I didn't have to be at the office for 9 today, as I would normally do. So, I got out of bed, as much as I didn't want to. Going into the bathroom had a shower, put the pair of clothes I had put on yesterday back on (which weren't too bad considering I only got dressed at 1 in the afternoon), and went into the bathroom to comb my hair so it was at least somewhat presentable. As I would do every other mundane Monday morning.

I looked in the mirror before leaving again, satisfied with my appearance being acceptable for being in a castle. Walking out the door of my room and locking it again as I left with my phone, I walked down to the end of the corridor, hearing that Nathan was also up and about, while it sounded like Thomas was still in his deep sleep mode he has, if the snoring was anything to go by. I looked at my watch, and saw the time now was 8:15. Lazy bastard. And he always seems to work on the other side of Glasgow!

Heading back down the stairs, I then realised that I was going to be lost again. I didn't know the way to the dining hall from where we were, so I'd have to ask for directions. Normally, I can work my round this type of situation, but this place was huge, and it didn't exactly help that all of the corridors looked the same, at least to me. Luckily, I saw a maid who was walking down the corridor.

"Excuse me," I called out as I walked over to the maid. She turned and faced me and was a bit startled of me - probably to do with my height. "How do I get to the dining hall from here?"

She looked at me with an open mouth, but she got back to her senses and managed to get a response out. "Uhhh... it's that... way, sir," she stammered, pointing her hoof towards the door. She then told me that I needed to walk down the stairs, take a left and walk until I saw two sets of doors. I then remembered where to go from there.

"Thanks for the help," I said, before turning and following the directions which she had given to me. Looking around the place, I still can't quite believe that this place is made from crystals. As I walked down the corridors, I noticed a few ponies, most of whom were maids, a few being guards, had noticed me. And were a bit startled at the sight of me. I took no notice of them, as they weren't being hostile in any way.

Eventually, I reached the door to the dining hall and opened the door. Looking in, I scanned the hall to see if there was any sign of Cadence or Shining Armor, and sure enough, both of them were sitting at one of the tables, eating their breakfast. They saw me and Cadence waved me over to where they were sitting. As I walked over, I saw what they were having. Shining was eating a bowl of cereal, while Cadence was having pancakes.

"Morning," I said to both of them.

"Good Morning, Jack," Cadence replied. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"Yes I did," I replied. "That bed was really comfy, better than the ones we used in the hotel we were staying in at Toronto. It was a five-star, so it wisnae exactly cheap for a week either."

Cadence giggled. "It's expected given we're in a castle."

"Yeah, I know," I replied. "I've never actually been in a castle before though."

"Did you sleep alright?" I asked.

"I slept OK, helps when not many people come to court on a Sunday. It would have been better if this one," Cadence answered, pointing at Shining and glaring at him. "...wasn't moving every two seconds while I'm trying to sleep."

Shining huffed, then looked at her with the sort of look someone would give you if you just stole the last chocolate bar. "I slept like a log last night."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did!"

This was looking like an argument that would last forever, so I got up out of my seat and went over to the table that had the bread and took two slices, while also grabbling a slice of cheese and buttering the two slices of bread to make a cheese sandwich, I wasn't feeling hungry at that point so it didn't really matter. I walked back over to the table and sat down again just as the argument had come to a close.

Cadence laughed. "No, you didn't, Shiny. You were constantly tossing and turning and you fell out of the bed at three in the morning!"

Shining opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again when Cadence raised her eyebrow at him. This sort of thing happened to me once, so I knew how he felt. I fell out of the bed once while Emily and I were still together, and she never let me hear the end of it after that.

Cadence turned back to me. "So, any sign of the others?"

"Nope," I replied. "Coupsie's still snoring like the lazy bam pot that he is, and I think Nathan was up, but still in his room."

And like clockwork, Nathan opened the door to the hall and walked over to where we were sitting. "Mornin', folks."

"Mornin', Nathan," I responded. "Coupsie still sleeping?"

"Probably."

We ate our breakfasts, with Nathan getting some cereal. We found out the cereal was called Celesti-O's, and laughed over how similar to Cheerio's they were. After that, we talked about a variety of things, somehow going on one of the largest tangents ever, going from talking about Twilight and her friends to when the next season of Formula One and Formula E would start.

Yeah, don't ask.

Eventually, Cadence had to leave to go to court. It seemed like there were going to be a lot of petitioners today. Shining didn't though, so he said he'd go with us since he had nothing better to do at the moment. When we finished our breakfasts, Shining said he'd give us a tour of the castle. At this point, Thomas walked into the room, at ten past nine and sat down. He had a cheese sandwich, like myself, only for some reason he put three slices of cheese in his sandwich.

If he ends up feeling sick I'm not feeling sorry for him.

After Thomas had finished, Shining led us on our tour of the castle, which was helpful for me, so at least I could find my way around the place. This tour lasted for an hour and a half, showing us, amongst other places, the recreation room, the throne room, and even took us onto the balcony that was used often to make announcements. Looking down, I saw a crystal stature of what looked like a dragon.

"Shining," I turned to him. "Is that statue there that Spike the dragon you were talking about at dinner last night?"

He turned over to me and saw what I was looking at. "Yep, that's him alright. He was responsible for saving the Empire when Sombra returned. They viewed him as a hero for doing so, so they built a statue of him. Cadence said he was quite pleased when he saw it for the first time. And then he goes and saves the Equestria Games by burning an ice cloud that nearly hit the stadiums with his fire breath."

I looked at the statue again. "And he's only a baby dragon?"

"Yep."

"We'd better not get on his bad side, then," Thomas joked. I laughed because if he'd managed to do that while he was only a baby dragon, what would he be like as an adult? Maybe it could be a bit like King Kong in that final stand in New York. Wait, who am I kidding? He's the assistant of Twilight, who was a princess. I'm pretty sure she'd get him under control.

Wouldn't she?

After that we still had a few hours to kill, so I decided to go back to my room and get my laptop from my room along with the travel set for the DVDs. I came back out with it to see Shining's confused face.

"What's that?" He asked me.

"It's my laptop. It's kind of like the phones we have, but it's more powerful and not as compact."

We headed to the rec room, with me explaining that if it was ok, I would put a film on for us to watch, which would take us to half one. Shining said that would be ok, and the others agreed. When we got in to said room, there was nobody else there, so we went over to the seating area and sat down comfortably while I set everything up.

"Not exactly your home cinema," I commented. "But good enough." I then put the disk of the film into the disk drive and waited until it recognised the disk, which is a right pain in the arse for me. After everything was done, I sat onto the seat again and the film started.

The film in question was Rush.

Shining liked the film. A lot. He liked the show of rivalry between Lauda and Hunt and their difference in personalities, with the former being more uptight and wanting everything to be perfect, but being an excellent driver, while Hunt was a more relaxed, or chilled, man, but Hunt and McLaren having trouble keeping up with Lauda and Ferrari. I pointed out that the Lauda-Hunt rivalry was slightly exaggerated for the film, and they were good friends in real life.

After the end, it was slightly after half one, so we decide to go get some late lunch. Nathan and I ordered penne with chicken, while Thomas ordered a grilled cheese sandwich, with Shining having a salad.

"Going back to Formula One," Shining said turning to us. "Is it a popular sport?"

"Yes, it's quite popular," I replied. "It's taken a bit of a slump over the last few years, not as many people seem to be watching it on TV."

"Aye, but that could be down to online streaming, though," Thomas pointed out.

"Yeah, but to me, something feels slower about the races. The engines are smaller and they don't look like they're being driven as hard anymore. Plus, Formula E is getting more popular."

"Who's the best F1 driver?" Shining asked.

"What, now or ever?" Thomas asked.

"Ever."

"Michael Schumacher." Thomas quickly answered.

"Ahem." Nathan cleared his throat in a way that says "That's where you're wrong".

Thomas turned to Nathan. "What?"

"Err... Ayrton Senna?"

"Yes, what about him?"

"The greatest F1 driver? He didn't have Schumacher's flappy paddle gearbox, and he was killed after only racing in F1 for ten years, but he still won the world championship 3 times, and he would have won more!"

"I will agree that Senna was a good driver, but Schumacher won more championships, the numbers don't lie."

"Jim Clark was an underrated driver," I pointed out. "He may have only won two championships, but he only raced for eight years, and had he not have been killed at Hockenhiemring, he would have won the 1968 season and probably many more."

"Jim Clark was really good," Nathan agreed. "You know you're good when you start eighth and go to first, and lap everybody besides 2nd place, and finish almost five minutes ahead of the next guy. And he's Scottish as well."

"Seems like quite a bit of rivalry," Shining commented.

"Yeah, all motorsport is really competitive. F1 is probably the greatest example, although the World Touring Car Championship, NASCAR, World Rally Championship and Le Mans are all good examples as well."

"The most competitive sport in the UK is football though, by a country mile," Nathan said.

"Football?" Shining asked, with his eyebrow raised. "Is this like hoofball?"

"What's hoofball?"

"They have a ball at the centre and they have to run/pass the ball to other players with their hooves, Pegasi using their wings is disallowed, and Unicorns are not allowed to use their magic, either."

"That kind of sounds like football."

"It's not as big here," Shining pointed out. "I like the sport, but it really only gets played by Earth ponies. Come to think of it, Twilight said Spike had gone to a game with Big McIntosh recently. Happy with the results, I think."

"Well at least it's not like that American football, which is really similar to rugby," Thomas commented.

"Rugby is better, hands down," I said.

"Agreed," Thomas and Nathan replied at the same time. I'm not annoyed this time, though.

"I think this motorsport would be really interesting for Equestria to watch," Shining said. "After watching that film, I'm impressed, but also kind of surprised nothing of the kind has really happened in Equestria before."

"If someone figures out the solutions to the problems so you don't fall into the same sort of problems we have, I don't see why not," I commented.

We sat and discussed some more, more about the sports in Equestria and what Equestria had accomplished in the last one hundred years or so, so we had a rough idea of where they were compared to Earth. I'd put them in the late 60's in terms of technology wise, as they had very basic computers that weren't all that powerful compared to ours, free healthcare that was equivalent to our knowledge (minus the computers, obviously) and sciences were not as widely practiced at schools as magic was. It was usually Earth ponies that would do the STEM fields, although sometimes Pegasi are involved as well, with unicorns mainly sticking to magic.

Cadence joined us a little while into this conversation. She was on lunch break for half an hour and seeing we're already here, she sat with us. We then told them both some of the things mankind had done over the last 100 years, including the Moon landings, Concorde, sending probes into space, GPS and Sat-Nav, nuclear power and how we managed to split the atom, the International Space Station, amongst other things.

Needless to say, they were impressed. They were also slightly disappointed at ponies for the lack of progress that they have seen, the computer project in Canterlot started three years ago, and the STEM fields were not large enough to handle these projects, and agreed there needed more power to be put into these projects to achieve the things we have done over the past one hundred years.

Shortly afterward, a guard game into the dining hall. "Your Highnesses, I am here to inform you that Princess Twilight and the Elements have arrived at the station and are on their way to the castle."

"Thank you, Corporal," Cadence said. "You may return to your post."

He saluted and walked out again. Cadence got up out her seat again. "Well, I better get back to court. Sorry I couldn't stay any longer."

"That's alright, Cadey," Shining said. Cadence and Shining then shared a quick kiss. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tom wincing in discomfort. I seemed to be the only one that noticed this, but I understood why. I would be feeling the same way as him if I was in his shoes.

Cadence then waved goodbye and then left to go back to court. Shining got out of his seat as well. "Well, I think we should go outside and meet them there. No doubt Twilight will be excited to meet you."

"Well in that case, let's go," Thomas said. And so we left the dining hall, with most of us finished our food. Except for Nathan, who took his grilled cheese sandwich with him. Because he still wasn't finished after twenty minutes.

I mean, honestly, how long should it take to finish a fucking cheese sandwich? I'd understand if it was two, AT A PUSH, but not finishing one in twenty minutes?

Besides Thomas and I commenting on the time it took him to finish his sandwich, which we said was so long he'd probably be able to find Edinburgh Castle sooner, we walked down the stairs and back out to the entrances and meet this Princess Twilight and her friends. Hopefully we'd get along with them too.

We'd never thought we'd meet members of an aerobatic team as a result.

Author's Note

BUGGER! I'm late!

Enjoy :p

Chapter 7 - If you need to piss off a Princess...

Author's Note

New chapter!

The arguement about magic isn't in this chapter, it'll be next chapter. Speaking of next chapter, it will either come out earlier some time next week, or it may not come out until the 18th, as I'm away from the 13th to 17th, so either the next chapter will be shorter, and come out early, or it'll be a long chapter but be released later.

Let me know which you'd prefer :P

Chapter 7 - If you need to piss off a Princess...

As we left the castle and walked over to the Crystal Heart, we saw the group of six in question. I thought at that moment what I would call Twilight and her friends, as a collective anyway... The Mane Six.

I'm sorry, it just had to be said, OK?

Anyway, I saw what they all looked like. One was an Alicorn, and assuming that all alicorns are in somewhat related to royalty here, I assumed that this was the Twilight Sparkle we have been told of. She had a light purple coating, kind of light mulberry and had a mane that had a variety of purple and pink in it. There was also a unicorn, who had a white coat, with a purple mane that was fashioned in a way. Judging by this, I figured she was into fashion in one form or another.

There were two Pegasi as well; one who was yellow furred and pink maned, who looked like she was one of the shy type, if her hiding behind her mane was anything to go by, and the other was blue coated and her mane was quite frankly something you'd see from a fucking Skittles packet.

No, I'm not joking.

The other two were regular ponies. One was pink. (Yes, pink main and tail, pink coat.) The other was orange coated and had a yellow main and tail that was tied up. The thing I noticed most of all was her bloody Stetson that she was wearing on top of he head, which gave me a thought.

I fucking swear, if she starts speaking in a Southern US accent then I'll-

"Twily!" Shining shouted to the group as he walked down the steps towards them.

Twilight's smiled at that moment. "Shining Armor!"

She more or less ran over to her older brother and hugged him, which he returned. She let go and spoke to him. "I've missed you, B.B.B.F.F."

I stood there in confusion at what the hell she meant. Thomas muttered under his breath in volume that could only have been heard by us three. "She probably means Big Brother Best Friend Forever or something." I nodded so he could see.

She then turned to us and her eyes lit up and... well, sparkled.

How that was even possible is beyond me.

"Are you the humans that Princess Celestia wrote about?" she said, her eyes sparkling and having a Cheshire cat-like grin on her face.

"Uh... I guess we are, I'm-" I began, extending my hand before I was cut off.

"Oh my gosh!" she said, now unable to control her excitement, trotting on the spot. "OhmygoshOhmygosh ImTalkingToASpeciesUnseenToTheRestOfEquestria Ihavesomanythingstolearn IcouldteachthesehumansaboutEquestria! I'M SO EXCITED!!"

"Err, good to meet you too?" I said watching her trotting on the spot as her grin got even wider. Thankfully, the white unicorn was at hand to help.

"Hello there, darlings. You'll have to excuse Twilight here, she can get quite worked up over new discoveries."

"Does this happen often?" I asked.

"Not too often, but you'll get used to it darling," she replied.

Twilight finally got some common sense into herself and recomposed herself. "I'm sorry, but this sort of thing has never happened before. I can get quite enthusiastic when new information comes to light." She then coughs to clear her throat and extended her hoof. "I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle, but Twilight is fine for me."

I quickly glanced back to Thomas and Nathan, and the smirks on their faces and the nod from Nathan were enough to put our plan into action. I turned back to Twilight and shook her hoof. "Ma name's Jack Luss. It's a pleasure tae meet ye, Princess."

Twilight's smile wavered slightly in confusion, which was the reaction that was telling me that I was going the right way about this. "It's easier for both of us if you call me Twilight, honestly."

I smirked. "Alright 'en, Twilight it is." I then turned to the others. "What of yourselves, eh?"

The unicorn was surprised and I think slightly disgusted by my change in attitude. "I'm Rarity, darling. I'm Ponyville's resident fashion designer. I must say, the outfits you're wearing are rather uncouth."

"Oh, come on, mate," I continued in the Glaswegian slang. "They're naw at bad."

"I must disagree with you on that. They're rather plain."

"Well, duh, they're naw supposed tae be dinner suits."

"Still, that looks rather bland."

I turned to the pony with the Stetson. "Who might you be?"

"I'm Applejack," she says in a predictable Southern US accent. "Now before you say anythin' else, can you PLEASE talk normal?"

I had a expression of mock hurt on my face as Shining and the other two laughed. "Can't I keep it up for a bit longer?" She shook her head.

"Bugger."

"Well, it was fun while it lasted," I laughed. "I was talking the way a lot of people from our home city spoke. The Glasgow patter, it's called. Mainly for neds."

"Neds?" Applejack raised her eyebrow in confusion.

"Another term used for hooligans. Some say it's short for non-educated delinquents. They mostly wear casual sportswear, but not all of them do. There's a good film focusing on neds, called, well, NEDS. I have it on DVD if you're interested."

"They sound like a nasty lot!" came from a voice I hadn't heard before, so I turned to see the pink one gritting her teeth.

"They are. Glasgow's still a good place to live, though. Don't let the neds get to you," I replied. "Who are you?"

"I'm Pinkie Pie, the greatest partier in all of Equestria," she replied. She then went wide eyed and gasped. "Oh my gosh! I need to get your 'Welcome to Equestria' party ready for you all, I'll invite all of my friends round, I'll invite everypony!"

She managed to say all of that under one breath. How she managed to do that, I didn't quite know. I still don't quite know today.

Holding her breath? Large lungs? Cocaine?

"Uhhh, that's a kind offer, Pinkie, but no thank you. I'd rather settle in quietly," Thomas said.

Pinkie gasped at this. "You don't want a party?"

"Nope," Thomas confirmed.

"Why?" Pinkie asked.

"Because they're a waste of time to me."

Everypony looked at Thomas with a look of shock on their faces, looking uneasy at Thomas' comment, almost as if they had just seen somebody be betrayed, or as if they heard the grass is green.

Probably with good reason, too. Because Pinkie's mane flattened... and well, her eyes, already massive like the other ponies here, just went wide, with the iris and pupil growing unnaturally. The look that was visible on her face was... actually kind of frightening for a piece of bubble-gum.

"Parties," Pinkie began in a low and upset tone. "Are not a waste of time. They're enjoyable and they're fun to have, especially Pinkie Parties!"

To avoid escalation, Nathan stepped in. "I have no objections."

Despite gaining a "WHAT THE FUCK?!" look from Thomas, it was enough to calm the pink pony down. "I don't know the exact details of your party as of yet, but it should be soon."

"Anyway..." I said trying to move things along and not stand outside all day. "Shall we head inside."

"Yeah," Shining replied. "We can head to the rec room and talk there, unless if you haven't eaten?" he asked, turning back to the Mane 6.

"Nope, we ate on the train here," Twilight replied.

"Well in that case let's head in," Shining said. "I assume we'll have a lot to talk about."

And with that, Thomas, Nathan and I head inside, followed by Shining and his sister who start discussing things with her sister, about some adventure with some evil unicorn they faced recently, and how the castle was. I paid no attention to this and started talking to Nathan and Thomas on the idea we wouldn't get to watch the TCR and BTCC when it came to Knockhill, and eventually we were talking about Group B when we finally arrived at the rec room.

I just hope we don't have to give a lecture to that excitable princess.

Hope. What a quaint idea.

It's a GoldenEye reference if you didn't happen to notice.

When we went into the rec room, I got three chairs and plunked them down for Thomas, Nathan and I to sit on, while the others sat on the seats that were already in the area we were.

"So, who are the two Pegasi?" Nathan asked as he sat down.

"Uhhh, I'm Flu-" The yellow one began, but was cut off by the blue one.

"I'm Rainbow Dash, the fastest flier in all of Equestria. Nothing can fly faster than me."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. Great. Rude, brash, arrogant, overconfident and a tomboy. Can it get any worse?

"Fastest flier?" Thomas asked with a raised brow.

"Of course I am. Haven't you heard of me?"

"Not from this world, Rainbow," Twilight sighed, rolling her eyes and nudging her at the same time.

"Oh, hehe, sorry," Rainbow said with a sheepish grin. She then continued her explanation. "But yeah, I can break the sound barrier and do a sonic rainboom."

I smirked. "Oh, we've built aircraft that can beat that." I said, waving my hand dismissively, trying to wind her up.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep, the SR-71 Blackbird, a high speed reconnaissance aircraft used by the United States Air Force for over 30 years could reach speeds of Mach 3.2."

"What's Mach?" she asked.

"Mach means the speed of sound. The number following is the amount of times it is. Mach 3.2's roughly equivalent to 2,200 miles an hour."

"WHAT?" she yelled, her jaw dropping at finding out she'd been trumped.

I smiled at this, ignoring her stuttering and turning back to the yellow Pegasus. "May I ask who you are?"

"Uhhh, I'm Fluttershy."

"Nice to meet you," I said, extending my hand. She understood what I was doing as she did the same and we shook hands/hooves.

I turned back so I could see everyone. "So, what do you all do here? In Equestria, I mean."

Twilight was the first to answer. "I'm the Princess of Friendship. I solve problem's related to friendship."

"I said earlier that I'm Ponyville's resident fashion designer," Rarity said. "If you ever need anything made for yourselves, then let me know," she added with a smile.

Well, I don't plan on wearing the same 2 sets of bloody clothes for potentially years.

"I organise parties!" Pinkie said, bouncing up and down as she did so.

"Yeah, because we didn't know that one already," Thomas said, rolling his eyes.

"I buck apples for Sweet Apple Acres. One of the best apple farms in all of Equestria," Applejack said.

"I take care of the animals in Ponyville," Fluttershy said, although we only just barely heard it.

"And I'm Ponyville's weather manager," Rainbow said in a matter-of-factly tone.

This bitch will have her arse kicked if she keeps this attitude up.

"What, so you predict the weather?" Thomas asked.

"Predict the weather?" she asked. She then laughed. "No, I MAKE the weather."

"Make the weather?" Nathan repeated, not quite believing what he was hearing.

"Yep."

We all looked at each other, then started laughing hard, much to Rainbow's confusion. I turned to her and said, "Oh, you must excuse us, Rainbow, we thought you were being serious."

Rainbow's look of confusion quickly morphed into that of irritation. "I AM being serious."

We turned to each other, and laughed even harder, to Rainbow's dismay and frustration. "What are you laughing at?"

"Oh, the weather happens naturally where we come from."

"Ouch," Rainbow commented. "That must suck."

Nathan chuckled. "Yeah, tell me about it. We live in Scotland. IT RAINS ALL THE TIME."

Twilight interrupted. "If it's OK with all of you, I'd like to do a few tests on you to get a better understanding of humans."

We looked at each other nervously. I just hoped it wouldn't come to taking an anatomy of us. "OK, as long as we know what they are beforehand."

"Of course," Twilight replied. "The first one I need to do is do a magical scanning test, to test what type of magical energy humans possess."

I chuckled. "Good luck with that. Magic doesn't exist where we come from."

Twilight then gave a smile. But it wasn't a good one. It was, let's face it, fucking creepy. "What do you mean, there's no magic on Earth?"

"Exactly that. Why?" I asked, getting unnerved at her behaviour.

She snapped out of whatever trance she was in. "Nothing, it's fine. There is a chance there is magic lying dormant that hasn't been activated yet. Let's start with..." she explained, while pointing at Nathan.

"Nathan," he completed.

"Okay," was all she said. Her horn lit up for a few seconds and she created a sort of two dimensional grid that passed its way through Nathan... only it went completely around him, to Twilight's confusion..

"That's odd, that's never happened before. I'll try again."

And that she did, only to get the same results as before. "You're right, but... THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"

"How so?" I asked.

"Life isn't possible without magic!" Twilight's frustration was rising.

"We're alive, thought," Thomas said, completely confused as what she was saying.

"I was taught as a little filly that life can't exist without magic, yet here you are!" Her mane then started to twist out of place. Her friends noticed this, and began to back away. "How do you manage without magic?"

"Technology," Thomas, Nathan and I said at the same time.

"What type of technology?"

And so we all did about an hour's worth of lecturing (more or less) on human technology. Twilight was baffled by what we'd managed to do, especially when she knew that we had no magic. The others took interest as well, the most notably (and surprisingly) being Rainbow Dash.

She was interested in the cars and was also, understandably, trying to hide her huge interest in planes, especially the SR-71 that I talked of earlier. She mentioned that she was wanting to become a member of the main Wonderbolts team. She was shocked again by my lack of knowledge of the team, but after another reminder that we weren't from Equestria, she told them that they were an aerial display team. They remind me of the Red Arrows when Rainbow showed me a poster.

"Would it be possible for us to see them at an event?" I asked, genuinely interested as to what they were like. "It's just that we don't know how long we'll be here and I'd like to enjoy it while it lasts."

"I don't see why not," Rainbow replied. "There's a performance coming up in a couple of weeks at Princess Celestia's garden opening. I'm going to be there, the Wonderbolts are performing at the events and I'm in the reserve team, they're just in case one of the main members can't perform."

"Maybe if I get a ticket somehow I'll go and watch them," I said, smiling at possibly being able to see these Wonderbolts, and see how they compare to the Red Arrows. "Wonder how they compare to the Red Arrows."

"Who?"

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and found the right image on my phone. "The Red Arrows, one of the finest aerial display teams on our world," I said as I showed her the image.

"Wow! They look awesome!" Rainbow complimented.

"I've seen them perform as well. They do some pretty good stunts, the Gypo Pass and Opposition Barrel are amazing to watch. Actually, I think I've got a video of it on my phone actually, hold on..." and then went about finding the video. I eventually found it. It was a while ago, at the 2014 Scottish Air Show in Ayr. "Ah, here it is." I then turned the phone around and let the footage of the Red Arrows arriving behind me overhead, and the demonstration, be seen by Rainbow and the others.

It was safe to say she enjoyed watching and was slightly disappointed when it ended, as did the others, but Rainbow more so.

"These Red Arrows could give the Wonderbolts something to worry about," Rainbow commented.

"It would be pretty good if we could see how they compare," Thomas said.

"What are these cars like, though?" she asked.

"We've got our own cars here," Nathan said. "Who wants a spin?"

"Ok, I'll see what it's like," Rainbow said. "Hopefully it'll be cool."

"Ah'll go too, then," Applejack added.

"If it's fun, then I will, too!" Pinkie agreed.

But nobody else wanted to go. Suits us fine. Their loss, anyway. Although I did get the feeling that Shining told Twilight of our antics last night, or rather, MY antics, as she shot me a cold glare as I asked her if she wanted to come with us.

We walked out of the rec room and went to the entrance. As we did so, we decided that Nathan would take Applejack, Thomas would take Pinkie and I would take Rainbow Dash. When walking to the old chariot depot, we decided, we would do some drifting, much to Thomas' annoyance. When we got there, they walked over to their respectful cars, leaving me and Rainbow to the Merc. I walked over and opened the other door to allow her to sit in the front passenger seat.

"Wow, this is actually pretty cool so far," Rainbow commented.

"Thanks," I said as I closed the door and slid over the bonnet to the other side and opening the door. I sat down and started the engine, and let Rainbow listen to the sound of the 4 litre twin turbo V8 come to life.

"Whoa," was all she could muster in a mix of awe and fear.

"This specific car has an engine that has 8 cylinders that produce 476 brake-horsepower." I explained

"Horsepower?!" she was clearly shocked by the name.

"It's a measurement of power coined by a Scottish engineer by the name of James Watt. He enhanced the design of the steam engine so it was more efficient, which was instrumental in the Industrial Revolution at the time. He came up with the idea of horsepower, and the unit of power used internationally, the watt, is named after him."

"Yeah, yeah, let's just get to the cool stuff."

"OK, then. Buckle up, Rainbow," I said. Rainbow was confused, until she saw me put my seatbelt on, and she did the same, surprisingly without complaint. I then put the car into Drive mode and got the car moving out the space. From what I could see, Nathan had already got to the garage exit, and Nathan had just started up the engine. I then got behind Nathan's car and flashed the headlights. I leaned out the window, and Nathan did the same.

"Just follow me," he stated simply before putting his head back in and winding up the window. I put my head back in as well, but left the window open just so I could really hear the noise the engine was making.

"Ready?" I asked with a smile on my face.

"Ready," Rainbow replied with a determined smile on her face.

Nathan took off, with the tyre smoke in our view, so I let it die down. While doing so, I saw the red Audi had finally stopped behind us. Shame Pinkie won't get to experience drifting. When the smoke cleared, I turned off the traction control and stepped on the accelerator pedal.

Rainbow was shocked to say the least at the sudden jolt forward, but I was focused on catching Nathan, who had turned to the right and was drifting in the direction of the castle. I let the tyres squeal and then hit the brakes, managing a perfectly held slide, as well as a set of screeching tyres and a screaming Rainbow Dash to boot. The car continued forward, with the revs getting even higher before going into second gear. After about two seconds more travelling the car reached 60mph and I had to brake again, this time to do something a little bit different.

When we got more or less to the Crystal Heart, I turned the car to the right only to turn sharply to the left mere milliseconds later. When Twilight and the other three came out, they were in for a shock at seeing me do a donut around the Crystal Heart. Or two.

Okay, it was six. What's the big deal?

After the last one I pulled out just as Thomas had approached the corner. Rainbow was showing a very fearful face, but I knew a speed freak like her would enjoy this sort of thing. The tire smoke gradually reduced as I pulled away and slid the car around while going after Nathan. Rainbow had finally gotten used to the feeling of drifting by the end of this corner, if the "This. Is. AWESOME!" was anything to go by. I was just hoping Nathan made a mistake so I could overtake him and therefore proclaim I was the better driver. (He wouldn't accept it either way, just for talking sakes)

Eventually, after a couple of minutes of screaming tyres, gasping and standing in awe from the residents and the slight sound of understeer behind us in the Audi, he did.

Namely while trying to go round a hairpin at seventy, and as a result trying to correct too much and spinning out.

"Ha, ha, ha," I fake laughed. "The idiot's spun out. Let's show him how it's really done."

And that we just did, with me giving him the two fingered salute as we passed him.

"What did you just do?" Rainbow asked, genuinely curious as to what I did.

"I gave him the two-fingered salute, which we use to say "up yours" or something similar."

Rainbow laughed. "If only ponies could do that..."

We both laughed as we drove back to the castle, with me only drifting every so often, as I was beginning to find it a bit repetitive.

I kind of wish we'd taken the cars back first, because of what we saw coming towards the car as we slowed down to a stop.

Specifically, a furious Twilight and her equally angry older brother.

"WHAT IN TARTARUS WERE YOU THINKING?" Twilight yelled at me, her wings flared in anger as a show of authority. It didn't bother me, though, as I could easily have just got out of the car and stood on her if I wanted to.

"I was taking the car for a spin, Princess," I replied calmly as I got out of the car and watched Nathan's M3 and Thomas' S4 approach us.

"You could have destroyed the Crystal Heart! Or worse still, YOU COULD HAVE HURT SOMEPONY!"

"Relax, Twi," Rainbow intervened. "I was initially scared too, but Jack knew what he was doing, he didn't overcomplicate things."

"Besides, I would have pulled the handbrake if there was a chance the car could have hit someone," I pointed out, as I turned to Nathan, who was walking with Applejack, and Thomas, who walked over with Pinkie. Both ponies had a massive grin on their faces.

"L-L-LOSER!" I shouted to Nathan, with my hand creating an "L" sign with my right hand and put next to my forehead.

"I don't care if you won," he said flatly, with me retracting the "L". "I was just having some fun drifting in the car. Wasn't meant to be a race."

"If you say so, Ken Block," I replied cheekily with a smirk on my face.

Twilight coughed to get our attention, with the angry, ice-cold glare still adorning her face. "You three could have seriously injured somepony."

"Pretty sure I wouldn't do any of that stuff if I didn't know what I was doing," Thomas replied.

"Besides, they're sporty saloon cars. How are we meant to show the performance of them if we don't put them through their paces?" Nathan added.

Twilight's mouth opened and closed several times, but no words coming out. Eventually, she sighed and looked at the ground. "I'm sorry, I was just really concerned for the wellbeing of the ponies here and-"

"I understand, Twilight," I interrupted, gaining her attention. "And I'm not mad; in fact on the contrary, it's nice to see you caring about your subjects. Where we're from, many politicians are self-absorbed, worthless, vile scumbags who only care for themselves."

Twilight was shocked by my use of language to say the least, as were many others. "Are they that bad?"

"Not all, but some certainly are," I replied. "Kim Jong-Un and his fathers, as well as Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin spring to mind."

"But, let's not discuss dictators any further," Thomas said, trying to lighten the mood that was coming. "Are there other tests you need to do?"

"Well, since you can't use magic," Twilight explained. "There are only two that need to be done at the moment, the others can be done later on."

"And they are?" Thomas asked, raising his eyebrows. I knew he was asking another question underneath and was looking for the answer he wanted in the one she gave, and I was hoping for the same answer he was.

"Well, I need to do another test on magic, this time to check it's affects on you and make sure it doesn't harm your body in any way, and I'll also need to take a full anatomy of the human body, for medical purposes."

Thomas, Nathan and I looked at each other, smiling nervously at each other. I then turned back to her. "Who... who will have these results afterwards?"

Noting the apprehension in my voice, she replied in a calm and somewhat reassuring tone. "You don't need to worry about anything. The results will be sent strictly to the Equestrian Health Service board and be distributed to hospitals in case there is a chance you fall ill and need medical attention. They will not be published publically without your consent."

A sigh escapes Thomas' and Nathan's lips, but I'm still not entirely convinced. Still, she's a princess, so it's not like I have much of a choice. "Fine, we'll do it."

A happy smile worms its way onto her face. "Great, if you'd just follow me to the medical centre..." Twilight said, as she started to walk back to the entrance. Reluctantly, we follow suit. As we followed her, I could only think of one thing.

Why do I get the feeling this is going to be extremely awkward?

Chapter 8 - Medical Checkup (sort of...)

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 9 - Dinner with the Mane Six

The anatomy went... weirdly. I'll save you telling all about it, but long story short - Twilight asked us for the scientific name for humans, asked us to strip completely naked, got annoyed when we didn't get COMPLETELY naked (leaving our underpants on), got red-faced when Thomas did, was mortified when Thomas said and I quote, "Take a picture, Princess. It'll last longer", took the anatomy with Nurse Coldheart, and got the information within an hour or so.

Oh, and Nathan and I laughed when Thomas made his rather charming comment.

Wonder how that'd go with Cassie if she ever found out.

"That seems to be everything," Twilight said, albeit not as embarrassed as before.

"So what do we do next?" I asked.

"Well, we go to the dining hall," Twilight explained, putting all the information back in her bag. "My friends went off and did their own thing after we left. I told them to get to the dining hall for six, so we could have dinner before we get the train back, and with Shining and Cadence."

"Sounds good to me. What about you two?"

The two responses were "Alright" and "OK".

"Let's go, then," I said, before Twilight raised her hoof towards me.

"Before we go, can I ask you a question?" Twilight asked.

"Sure," I replied, not quite sure of what was going to be asked.

"What was the scar on your chest about?"

I gulped. Oh, shit, she saw it. I'm not really willing to talk about it.

"It... was... err... an accident," I said, trying to pull of the lie as best as I could. It was a lie, obviously, but I wasn't ready to talk about that knife fight, or what led up to it in the first place.

Seeing my hesitance, Twilight seemed to be a bit more cautious with her next question. "Would you... like to talk about it?"

"No, not really," I sighed.

"You know you're welcome to at any time," Twilight said, as she led us back out the door. Looking to the other two, I saw Thomas' face was one of slight sympathy, while Nathan's had twisted into a look of confusion. Now you have to understand that Nathan was on holiday when this incident happened, and we never told him what happened when he came back.

We followed Twilight down the corridor, with me taking point as per usual. I checked my phone, for the time and for the battery life check. I found the time to be 5:57, and I was on 26%. I then tried (and failed) to resist the urge of playing Dictator 2 again. Checking regularly to make sure I didn't walk into anyone, I only manage to put the Oligarchs into prison and cover up a police operation gone wrong before we arrived at the dining hall.

In the dining hall, all of the others were already there. Cadence was talking with Rainbow Dash, Shining talking with Rarity, and the other three talking amongst themselves. When the door opened, though, everybody turned to the door. Cadence smiled.

"Twilight!"

"Cadence!" Twilight almost cried in response.

They bot ran over to each other, Cadence getting out of her seat to do so. I initially thought that they would hug, but I was confused when they stopped. Instead, I heard this - along with seeing a silly child-like dance (that was somewhat cute) -from both.

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!"

After they had done this, they hugged each other. After a good few seconds, it was broken off, and Cadence was the first to speak. "Good to see you, Twilight."

"You too, Cadence," Twilight replied, almost gleeful at seeing Cadence again.

Cadence then turned and looked up to me. "Hello, Jack... Jack?"

I was just raising my eyebrow at this. "What just happened?"

Cadence didn't follow for the first few seconds, then the penny dropped. Cadence smiled upon realising what I was trying to say. "I used to foalsit Twilight when she was a lot younger and living in Canterlot. We came up with a little rhyme and dance for whenever we were playing together."

I smiled. "Makes sense now, I suppose."

Cadence smirked. "I still remember when she said and I quote, 'You're a princess. I'm just a regular old unicorn'."

Twilight blushed at this. "How was I supposed to know Princess Celestia would make me into an alicorn?"

"Wait, hold on. WHAT?" I interrupted.

"What?" Twilight and Cadence responded at the same time.

"You're telling me that Twilight wasn't always an alicorn?"

"No," Twilight replied. "Princess Celestia transformed me into an alicorn version of myself - from a unicorn. I had finished a spell that Star Swirl the Bearded had not finished before he disappeared, as he didn't understand friendship, like I do."

"Hence the Princess of Friendship?"

"Not exactly. I only gained the title of 'Princess of Friendship' after we defeated Lord Tirek, and the castle was created."

Cadence then cleared her throat. "I believe it would be better if we sat down and discussed this over dinner."

With all four of us in agreement, I sat in the seat to the left of Twilight. She was sitting across from her brother, while Nathan sat at the other end with Pinkie, and Thomas sitting across from him, next to Applejack.

We all discussed this for a few seconds longer, with Twilight telling me how the castle came to be and what it was like. I nodded, although I wonder what Einstein would have to say about a castle appearing out of a box. Or any physicist for that matter.

At this point, a waiter came and took our orders. I decided to try the roast hydra, as did Thomas and Nathan. I wanted to see what it was like in comparison to other meats we would normally have back home. The others - mainly Applejack and Rarity seem to be unnerved at funding out that humans are omnivores. Twilight was as well, but to a lesser extent. She just accepted it and moved on.

The one who I didn't expect to understand this was Fluttershy, although when you went over the reasoning for it, it would make sense. She was taking care of animals, including a brown bear named Harry. She said that some of these animals were omnivorous/carnivorous and it was in their nature to do so, so it would be unfair to have a go at us while not condemning them for the same thing.

At least we didn't say that some humans eat horse meat.

Anyway...

After all the orders were taken, we all started discussing amongst ourselves, with me asking Shining where he went after we went off to the medical centre. Shining then told me of going back on duty, and afterwards working out at the gym. I expressed my interest in going to the gym to Shining, who said that if I was interested he would try and work out a schedule that could work out for the both of us.

I then asked him about the guard and what his job was like, specifically if anything funny happened.

"There was this one time," he began, before starting to snicker. "Where Flash and I were stationed in Canterlot 2 months after passing out. We were assigned to guard Princess Celestia's room while she was away on an emergency summit. Eventually, after a few hours, we were to take a break, as other guards would take over while we left. Before they came, however, curiosity got the better of us and we went into the Princess's room.

"In the room we found a ponyquin that had a dress on it that was going to be used for that year's Grand Galloping Gala."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Oh, it's a royal ball that's in Canterlot every year, it's the biggest one in Equestria. Anyway, the princess's dress is there on this ponyquin, and we're staring at it, because it was a gorgeous dress. Then, Flash starts drinking his coffee that he had brought with him.

"Now, there are two versions of this story. If you ask Flash, he'll say that I nudged him and as a result he spilled his drink over said dress."

"Ouch," I commented, wondering what Celestia, being the kind and lovely pony she seemed to be, would react to that. Maybe a full-on rage mode that turned her hair into a fire and basically turning into a psychopath?

"But what really happened is that I made a joke about the dress - one that I cannot repeat - and Flash spat his drink out while laughing."

I sniggered at this, too. There's not many more ways you could fuck up like that.

"So, realising we made a mess, we closed the door as we went out and we went to the dining hall. While we were there, we had a quick bite, with Flash getting us both a slice of cake to go with it."

"Right."

"So when the Princess came back, she was furious. Not only at the fact that her dress got ruined, but also due to the fact that someone stole her cake that she was going to have when she came back. If you want to know how bad the Princess gets when she doesn't get cake, think of a violent beer addict, but instead of beer, replace it with cake."

I started to laugh at this point, knowing where this was probably going to go. "What happened?"

"She called all of the guards in Canterlot onto parade and asked who did it. The sergeants, the lieutenants, the Captain of the Royal Guard at the time, Captain Iron Knight, all called by Princess Celestia. She demanded to know who ruined the dress and who ate the cake. Flash couldn't stop laughing, so the Princess saw and sent him off to do the dishes with the Kitchen Staff. For a month."

Hearing this, I put my hand over my face, turned the other way and just started laughing like a dying penguin.

I couldn't hold in my laughter any more. I just couldn't.

Hearing my laugh, or more specifically what it sounded like, Shining joined in as well, with him hitting the table once or twice as well, with Cadence and Twilight quizzically looking at us, not knowing what the hell was happening.

Eventually though, we recovered. "Sorry, that just reminded me of when my wee cousin was drinking beer behind his dad's back, and he got home one night with a bottle of beer in his had and his dad was waiting at the door. Safe to say he wasn't allowed out the house for a month."

Shining chuckled. "But I never got caught. I was always extremely good at keeping a straight face, I suppose that and my good work ethic got me to be Captain of the Royal Guard as well."

"A belated congratulations," I replied.

We discussed more incidents that happened between us, including many of my work antics that had spawned from my 20 years of working, from getting my first job while I was still in school, to my most recent job, and the antics in there with my colleagues. After we had finished, Rarity and Shining had continued talking, so I turned to my right to look at Twilight.

I was a little worried. Twilight, for one was talking with Cadence. I heard my name involved, so I listened in. Twilight was talking about my scar on my chest, and my explanation as to how I got it.

Cadence looked to my general direction with a wince on her face. She looked slightly worried about it, so I feared she would ask me about it herself later. I mean, I trust Cadence, but not to the extent over telling her what happened.

To be honest, I don't even trust Thomas to keep the secret.

Eventually, our food came, with Nathan and Thomas being served first and working their way up the table to myself, Cadence, Twilight, Rarity and Shining. Twilight and the three of us also getting our drinks, with me ordering a simple glass of water.

What? I had whiskey last night, I am NOT going to end up like poor Jimmy.

While we were eating and discussing things, I decided to ask an unanswered question for the second time. "Cadence?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"When we were talking last night... you never mentioned how you knew about... her, or what her name was. How DID you know about that?"

Cadence giggled. "I couldn't know everything that happened. But to answer your question, I'm the Princess of Love. My special talent is seeing ponies' emotions, especially love, happiness, sadness, you know? I could see the pain behind your eyes and traced it back to find the source - and of course see-"

"OK! OK! I get it," I panicked, just in tie to cut her off, before she blabbered on about the past, which I'm still not willing to tell anyone yet.

"Are you alright, darling?" Rarity asked, showing concern at my sudden outburst.

Looking at her, I sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine, Rarity. I just would like to avoid thinking about that at the moment."

"Are you sure? You can always talk about it if you want to."

"I'm OK. There's no need to worry about me."

With that, Rarity shrugs and goes back to eating her vegetable salad. Me and Shining conversed some more after that, with Shining suddenly remembering something midway between our conversation.

"What is it?" I asked.

"The Grand Galloping Gala is coming up in a few days. Cadence and I are going already, but we did have a few spare invitations for ponies that were going to the Gala, but now can't come. I'd like to invite you to the event, and Cadence will agree with me here."

"Absolutely," Cadence began, with a smile adorning her face. "The Galas that Twilight and her friends went to a few years ago was a big improvement over the last few decades it was hosted. Auntie Celestia said that the Gala was "always boring", but they managed to liven up the event each year after Luna's return."

"Besides, you can meet some of the people in Canterlot," Shining explained. "Some of the nobles there will be interested in your cars and your technology and you could work with them to help provide Equestria with a more flexible means of transport, and you could make money for doing so while you're here."

I thought over this hard for a few seconds. I can't really see any reason why not to go, so I agreed. "Sure, if it's alright with you."

"Of course," Shining said, before turning to the other end of the table. "What of you two?"

"What was that?" Thomas and Nathan said at the same time, obviously not hearing Shining's explanation.

And so Shining explained again, what the Grand Galloping Gala was and that they (Cadence and Shining) would like to invite us to go. Both agreed, with only Nathan seeing a problem.

"How would the Canterlot nobles react to us? I mean, we've only been here for two days, people all over Equestria will start hearing about us, and Twilight mentioned a lot of them were very snooty."

Cadence laughed. "I understand, some of the nobles can be quite prejudiced towards others, but if you dress up smartly and you be polite around them, I don't see why they would hold a grudge. Besides, if any of them are giving you hassle, just tell Celestia, Luna, Twilight, Shining or myself and we'll deal with them."

"Well in that case I'd love to go," Nathan replied, before coming across another problem. "When you say dress up smartly..."

"That's not a problem, darling," Rarity interrupted, already seeing the issue. "I can design suits for you all to wear. You can drop my boutique in Ponyville and I can supply you your suits."

"But wouldn't we need to be measured up first?" Thomas asked, his face screwed into that of confusion.

"That won't be necessary, darling," Rarity replied, using her magic to levitate a notepad that had writing and numbers on the pages. "I sized you all up the moment I saw you."

...

OK. She must be really good to do that.

"OK then," Thomas said, seeing a potential problem to this. "How much would these suits cost?"

"Oh, this will be on the house."

Us three all stared at Rarity as if she'd just grown a second head. "WHAT?"

"Well, I am the Element of Generosity, after all, and considering you don't have any formal attire, a little bit of generosity seems to be what you need."

After this, we went into specifics of the suits, with Thomas saying he would rather have his be more laid back and casual, but still smart, and Nathan wanting a dark blue jacket with a regular tie. I, however, decided to go with the usual black and white dinner suit, with a bow tie.

After this we got back to eating whatever we were eating, and finished quite soon after.

"We've still got another 40 minutes to go before the train arrives," Twilight commented.

"Well, if that's the case," I said happily. "Why don't we watch an episode of Top Gear?"

"Top Gear?" Everyone bar myself, Nathan and Thomas repeated.

"It's a show about cars. I have some of them on DVD to watch, I can go get my laptop now."

"No need," Cadence said.

"Why?"

In a flash of light, my laptop, along with my Top Gear DVD set appeared on the table.

"I can teleport it here," Cadence giggled.

I then asked Cadence about teleportation, which she replied that it gets more difficult the larger the object being teleported, and the larger the distance travelled, so teleporting back and forth from Canterlot would exhaust even her after only 4 trips in quick succession.

With that out of the way, I turned on the laptop, took out the Rush DVD, put in the Top Gear one for the first episode of the tenth season, and got everyone to gather round the sitting area in one of the corners while I set everything up. When that was done I put the laptop onto the table and clicked the mouse over the "Play" button.

"Sit back, relax and enjoy," I said as the iconic Top Gear theme started to play.

"Hello, and welcome to Top Gear!" The voice of Jeremy Clarkson rang out from the speakers on the laptop.

"Just to get one thing absolutely clear... This isn't actually going to go on sale, is it?"

"No. Err... Volkswagen sent it to us, because they said if people like it, we'll put it into production."

"They're not going to be getting any encouragement from me, to be honest. That thing... is ghastly."

"Yeah. Some say..."

"...and that because our producer rigged a phone vote, he now has a new name. All we know is, he's called Cuddles."

"Just for talking sakes, the name of the driver is actually The Stig," Thomas pointed out.

"So, Top Gear top tip. If you want a slow car that looks like a Golf... get a Golf.

"That's interesting. The Stig didn't spin that car once on that lap. Anyway, it's time now for the news..."

"No I'm not. I know who did this."

"Who?"

"Fifth Gear."

After twenty minutes of near non stop laughing, Twilight and her friends finally had to go to the train station to catch the train back to Ponyville. While Twilight was hugging Shining Armor and Cadence, Rarity and the three of us arranged to meet in Ponyville at her boutique on Thursday, as she said she would be done by then.

We waved them off at the entrance to the castle, with them walking away, seemingly very happy with the way the day went, as was I. We had just made friends with another Princess and her friends, the Princess having promised to help try and find a way back for us as soon as possible. I accepted her kind offer, but warned her not to overwork herself to find it.

With them walking off down the road, Cadence spoke up again. "Shall we head back upstairs?"

And so we followed Cadence and Shining back up the stairs. As we did so, I remembered a question that I've been meaning to ask earlier.

I need a bloody map of this place if I don't want to get lost.

Chapter 10

As we headed back up the stairs, we talked more about Top Gear, as it seemed that Cadence and Shining had taken quite a likening to the show. I talked about how the show evolved, from the first episode, which looks low budget when you look at it from today's standing point, all through its life, when the show kind of begins to pick up round about series 5-ish, to the several controversies, including Jeremy punching the producer, and Richard and James leaving in the aftermath to create a new show, The Grand Tour.

Eventually we got back to where we were sitting before, and continued watching the episode, with the trio now trying to find the perfect driving road.

Wile we were watching the Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car segment, Cadence decided to ask a question. "Have any of you ever tried something like that before?"

"Yes, we have," Thomas replied. "We decided back in 2013 - because we had a bit of spare money, and it was July - we would fly to Milan, Italy from Glasgow Airport via plane, rent some convertible supercars and do a road trip round northern Italy, especially up to the Alps and passing through cities like Turin, where The Italian Job was filmed, and Genoa."

"What's a convertible?" Cadence asked.

"It's a type of car that allows you to take the roof down,"

"Was the trip good?" Shining asked.

"Brilliant," I replied. "Sure, it may have cost quite a bit of money, we bickered on which road to Turin we would take and we went on the wrong road on the way to Genoa, but it is one of the best things I have ever done, and if I had the option to do it again, I would."

"What cars did you take?"

"Well, I took a Porsche 911 4S cabriolet" Nathan said. "It was black, but unfortunately it was only the 3.4 litre version. Pumped out 350 horsepower-"

"HORSEPOWER?!" Cadence and Shining repeated, in horror of the name.

And so, for the second time that day, I had to explain the whole horsepower and James Watt thing. After I had, Nathan continued.

"As I was saying, the 911 put out 350bhp, had a 0-60mph time of 5 seconds and has a top speed of 177mph."

The jaws of Shining and Cadence were slightly open at this point.

"...even though I could only do 174, personally."

Cadence and Shining were startled at the fact that he'd managed to go to that high a speed. I'd later found out that Pegasi could fly at those sorts of speeds, but not for continued periods of time, where as I had explained that as long as you had enough fuel and enough road, you would have the ability to go at that speed for almost as long as you want.

"I rented a Ferrari 458 Spider, which is a convertible version of the 458 Italia," Thomas explained. "It was, as you would expect from Ferrari, red in colour, brilliant handling and extremely quick when nobody else was watching. 562bhp, 0-60mph in 3.3 seconds and a top speed of round about 200mph."

Cadence and Shining looked like they had seen a ghost at the high numbers and how quick the Ferrari was. I was impressed at the time as well, but the Porsche was slightly behind us in terms of performance.

"And I brought the McLaren 12C Spider," I finished. "It was in orange, and it was a joy to drive. 616bhp, 0-60mph in 3.2 seconds, and McLaren claimed 204mph for top speed, although someone managed to do 215mph in it."

Looking to Cadence and Shining, I saw that they had zoned out, their faces showing a mixture of amazement and shock. I waved my hand in front of Shining to try and bring him back to reality. "Hello? Earth calling Shining Armor!"

This shook him out of his daze. He shook his head and looked at me. "It can really go that fast?"

"Yep," I replied. "Although that's not the fastest car. The fastest is debated between what counts as production, but recently, the Koenigsegg Agera RS broke the record, with a top speed of 284mph on a speed run in Nevada, which is a state in the US."

"That's mind-boggling compared to the fastest pony that ever lived!"

"Who was that?"

"The fastest running pony was an earth pony named Ostro, who managed to run at an average of 45mph. He may have been a legend, but he was running like there was no tomorrow. He actually just died a few months ago, at the age of 53."

"A pony named after a strong wind. Seems very fitting he would be fast."

We then continued to talk about the road trip again, with the memories flowing back to the three of us.

"Hey, Nathan," Thomas said slyly over the phone. "I wonder how fast that Porsche of yours can go."

I laughed at this, because I knew he was really having a jab at the lower performance of the 911, as the 991 Turbo had only just come out.

"I know this 911 isn't as fast as your two cars, but it's still very quick!" Nathan snapped back, causing Thomas and I to laugh even harder.

"Why don't you show us how quick it is, then?" Thomas replied in a condescending tone, while laughing over the phone.

Apart from the sound of our V8 (and flat-six in Nathan's case) engines, there was silence. Until, that is, Nathan spoke up again. "Fine, I'll show you."

With that in mind, he slammed on the accelerator, pulling towards me, as I was in the middle of our convoy. He passed me and Thomas, but still kept going while pulling away. Nathan decided to read off the speeds he was going - in kph.

"220."

At this point I decided to get in on the act, so I passed Thomas and put my foot down as well, shifting gears as the speedo kept climbing.

"240," Nathan was still going.

I kept speeding after him, with Thomas joining in as well.

"260!"

Up ahead, I could see a sharp 60 or 70 degree turn up ahead of us, so I slowed back down to the speed limit. Nathan, however, either didn't notice, or didn't seem to care.

"270!"

"Nathan, man!" I shouted over the speaker phone. "Brake!"

"280 - oh my god!"

Suddenly, as it got into the curve, the Porsche braked down to slightly over the speed limit and swung round, taking Nathan round the curve very easily.

However, he had miscalculated how strong he should turn the wheel, as the car's back end slipped out for a sort of drift for a second before correcting itself. Nathan started to speak again.

"That was just me, presenting the 911's ability to power slide."

Thomas and I laughed harder than any time we had during the entire trip. Thomas, after laughing nonstop for nearly 15 seconds, finally calmed down, as did I, and began to speak again.

"You nearly lost the back end of the car, Nathan, and you know it!"

"It was an intentional drift!"

"No, it wasn't!"

"Yes, it was!"

As the two began to bicker, I pulled in front of Nathan and began to lead the way to our first destination.

Colle del Nivolet.

Colle del Nivolet, to put it simply, was the best road I have ever driven on. The winding roads, the hills in the background, the views you could get... sure, you couldn't really enjoy it, because there's always other people there on the road, but the experience you get is well worth any traffic you could come across. It is simply gorgeous, and I hate to admit it, but it was far more beautiful than anything in Scotland.

And of course, they filmed The Italian Job there, especially the bus crash.

When we got to the beginning of the road, we decided to drive up to the top of the road, take a few pictures, and then go back down to Genoa. We thoroughly enjoyed the road, with the tight corners and fair amount of stretches was, to me, a perfect balance of a good driving road. Plenty of places for you to go sideways. And driving in the McLaren made it even more special.

When we got to the top of the hill, we took some photos and were discussing our cars. As we were discussing, Thomas came up with a brilliant idea.

"Hold on a sec," Thomas said suddenly, gaining out attention from our photo taking.

"What?" Nathan replied.

"Just a suggestion... What if we... you know, swapped cars, to see what they are like?"

Before Nathan could respond, I cut in. "That's a great idea, Thomas. Can I have the Ferrari?"

Thomas nodded. "Sure you can."

Nathan then smirked, getting an opportunity to get back at Thomas for the argument and being mocked earlier on. "Then it's settled. I'll take the McLaren."

"And I'll take the-" Thomas began, before he cut himself off, what he had done just now registering in his head. He scowled and turned to me. "I hate you so much."

I laughed. "Just give the keys, Coupsie."

And so he did, chucked the keys at me, while walking past me and getting the Porsche's keys from Nathan. After he'd got in and started the engine, he pulled off again.

Once he'd gone, I tossed the McLaren's keys to Nathan. As we both got in our cars, I called over to him. He turned and nodded his head as he started the engine.

"Last one to the hotel's paying at the restaurant," I said, as I tuned the ignition and started the 4.5 litre engine.

"You're on. Call me over the phone," he replied, and reversed out of the parking space and took off. I folded the roof back up while he did so and reversed back out and chased after him.

Long story short, I won, with Nathan showing up a mere minute later. Thomas got held up in traffic, as he drove a different route, so he came last. We'd explained over the speaker phone to him that the last one there was paying, so dinner was on him that night.

"So, what do we all think of the cars?" Nathan said suddenly, while we were looking at our menus in the restaurant.

"Eh, it was OK," Thomas grunted.

"Come on," Nathan raised his eyebrow. "It was a LOT better than OK."

Thomas groaned. "OK, it wasn't as bad as I thought."

Nathan nodded, satisfied at the answer, before turning to me. "How about you?"

"That Ferrari, is probably the second best car I have ever driven. The handling in that 458 is sublime. There are no other words for it."

"That's funny, I liked the McLaren a lot, too," Nathan replied. "I think that car was absolutely brilliant. The only issue I have with it is the suspension. I think the ride's a bit too firm, but other than that, that McLaren is probably just as good as the Ferrari."

We discussed the cars a bit more, and when the waiter came, we ordered our food. I was having lasagne, because I had (and still do have) horrible food tastes and only ate things that I knew what they were. Thomas was having a carbonara with different types of meat mixed within, while Nathan was having this fuck-off pizza that had every ingredient that you could think of to go on a pizza on it.

Tomato, cheese, anchovies, pepperoni, garlic, olives...

Except pineapple. Because in his words, "fuck pineapple on pizza".

He's not wrong, though.

I woke up early to find some form of box at the bottom of my bed. Curious as to see what it was, I lifted off my duvet, to find a small box of condoms. I was furious at this, not only had somebody slipped into my bedroom, but I knew who it was, as I saw him go into the pharmacy earlier on when we were getting snacks yesterday.

"THOMAS COOPER!"

Eventually we finished our little break, and had handed over the keys to the cars again in Milan. It was a shame really, because I really wanted to drive it all the way back to Glasgow.

I couldn't live with the thing, though, because if I wanted to have an everyday supercar, then it has to be the Porsche. You really cannot live with the McLaren, and the Porsche is just more usable as an everyday car than the Ferrari and the McLaren combined.

Oh well, now all we had to do is put up with QueasyJet.

I shudder now even thinking about it.

"Ah, yes. They were the good days," Thomas sighed.

"I wish we could just do that again," Nathan added. "Although I think we should do a step up with the cars."

"Yeah, that would be brilliant," I responded, then remembering something. "But it gives me an idea. You know how Bentley, Rolls-Royce and Aston Martin all make luxury cars?"

"Yesssss..." Thomas replied, unaware of what I was meaning.

"Why don't we rent... like, convertibles of their cars and do a road trip from Geneva to Florence, and go through Stelvio Pass, Milan, Genoa and the coastal roads on the way?"

"That's..." Nathan paused. "Brilliant. But who's taking what, if that happens?"

"Well, I've always had a soft spot for Bentleys, so I could take that Convertible version of the Continental that's about to end," I replied.

"I've liked Astons ever since watching Goldfinger for the first time on VHS. That DB5... but I always have liked the look of that Vanquish convertible, the most recent one," Thomas replied.

"I'm not into those sorts of cars," Nathan replied, making us both turn to him as if he'd just slapped our mothers. "But I have always wondered what driving a Lamborghini would be like."

We turned our attention back to the Top Gear episode, which was back to the road trip segment by now.

"And then it hit me. I was in a Lamborghini, in the Alps."

"All I need now are some sunglasses... and some Matt Monro." And with that, On Days Like These started playing, as Jeremy drove through the twisty roads, until he got to a tunnel.

"Oh no..."

I laughed at this. I always do laugh at this bit, because I loved The Italian Job and got the reference. It was one of the first films my dad ever let me watch on VHS, around '86 or '87, and it's sort of the reason I became a petrol head in the first place. I loved watching that Miura drive through the road, and hated to see that, the two E-Types, the DB4 and those Minis get pushed off the side of the road and down whatever hill it was.

Ahh, nostalgia.

"Should we do it?"

...

"There's no other way to say it. This is a magnificent piece of roadbuilding."

Eventually, however, the program came to the end, with the iconic theme playing once again. I decided to eject the disc before we were bored to death with the credits. and turned off my laptop again.

"So, what do you two think?" I asked Cadence and Shining.

"It was... brilliant," Shining replied. "Top Gear seems like a good mix of factual information on cars and comedy at the same time, and the cars look - and sound - amazing."

"Not to mention some of the views that you could see on those roads," Cadence added. "There are few places in all of Equus, never mind Equestria, that could rival those scenes."

"There are many more like that," Thomas said. "The view from Ben Nevis is absolutely incredible on a clear day."

"Ben Nevis?" Cadence asked.

"Tallest mountain in Scotland, and the UK for that matter. In fact, the top ten tallest mountains in the UK are all in Scotland. It was challenging to climb, sure, and it was dead slippery because of the rain when you get higher up, but it was absolutely phenomenal to do, and you could brag and say, 'I've climbed Ben Nevis.'

"It's not exactly Mount Everest or K2 by any standards, which are the tallest mountains in the world, by the way, but it's still quite an achievement."

"That sounds quite impressive," Shining replied. "How tall is Ben Nevis?"

"4,400 feet or something like that, can't remember the exact number."

"Mount Canterlot is slightly taller than that. It stands at 4,500 feet, but it's far too steep for most ponies to climb."

"Teleportation?" I asked.

Shining laughed. "No, there are limitations to how the spell works, and besides, I'd rather pull in the effort to climb up to the top rather than just zap there."

"Ah, I see. Anything else back from either Celestia or Luna?"

"I sent them a letter about your wishes to attend the Grand Galloping Gala, but they haven't replied yet," Cadence answered. "There were also a lot of Crystal Ponies at court today as well, more than I was expecting. They were all there for answers to questions surrounding one topic."

I immediately caught on to what Cadence was implying. "Our arrival."

Cadence nodded. "They all wanted to know answers to the same sorts of questions, to which I answered that an official statement would be made. I ordered the guards to dismiss anyone who was there regarding that issue, as I was not going to spend a day in court answering the same questions over and over again."

I chuckled. "That'd take some patience to do. I'd be ready to punch through a brick wall by the end if I had to do that. When would this statement be made?"

"I've arranged it to be done tomorrow. Which reminds me, do you all want take part in said statement?"

"Sure, why not?" I replied, ignoring the 'WTF?' look from Nathan.

Shining laughed. "After you went to the medical centre, I went to grab a newspaper, and look what I found," he said, before handing over the newspaper to Nathan. I managed to get a brief glimpse of the newspaper name: The Crystal Times.

Wonder if they're anything like The Times.

Nathan skimmed over what I assumed was the title, before sniggering. He then read the subtitle, and burst into laughter, passing the paper to the right, to Thomas. Tom did the same, with him even slapping his knee in laughter, before finally passing the paper to me.

And so I read the title.

Unknown Creatures Spotted!

I didn't laugh at that one, as I thought that headline was perfectly reasonable. But then I read the subheading.

Hairless and tailless monkey-like creatures spotted in the Crystal Empire

Seeing this made me burst into laugher. Monkey-like creatures? Hairless? Tailless?

"That's brilliant," I laughed. "Are there any other papers like this?"

"Yeah," Shining replied. "There was one with the same sort of idea from the Canterlot Chronicle. Somebody from the Canterlot Chronicle made an article with a similar title to that one. The one you're reading's more positive, while the CC article seemed very biased against you."

"Great, that's all we need," Thomas said while he rolled his eyes.

Cadence suddenly laughed. "The Canterlot Chronicle is known to be quite snobbish and is only ever taken seriously by a few select nobles in Canterlot, as it's known to have very personal opinions driving some articles rather than facts."

We talked a bit more about the newspapers, getting an idea of what newspapers were like. We found out that the majority of newspapers in Equestria are independent and aren't really biased, with the exceptions of the aforementioned Canterlot Chronicle, The Equestrian Mail (think of it as a Daily Mail), and a few smaller newspapers who were biased against Canterlot nobles, with most of these coming from small towns and not really going out to be national newspapers.

We then started to discuss more general things, in particular the announcement. We arranged for the announcement to be made at 11 in the morning. Not too early in the morning, but whatever. During our talk, however, a flash of light appeared above the table. When it dissipated, a letter fell onto the table.

"A reply from Princess Celestia?" Shining asked, targeting the question to his wife.

Cadence, as a result of the question, looked to what the letter was addressed as. "It's her writing, alright. Wonder what she said about it?" she replied, while handing the envelope over to me. The letter had the Royal Seal of Equestria on the back, but I flipped the letter and it was addressed to us.

As I opened the letter, I began to read it.

"Dear Messers Luss, Cooper and Lang,
I, Princess Celestia, am pleased to announce that the Grand Galloping Gala is to be held in the capital city, Canterlot, on the 9th day of (whatever month that actually was at the time),1005 ANM. Wait, ANM?"

"After Nightmare Moon," Cadence and Shining replied simultaneously.

"Ah, OK," I replied. I skipped the part about the long running history of the Gala that had been listed. "In celebration of such a momentous occasion, I cordially extend a VIP invitation to Messers Jack Luss, Thomas Cooper and Nathan Lang." And inside, sure enough, were three golden coloured tickets, all of them with the name of the event, the year, the location, which was Canterlot Castle, the ticket type, which was the VIP All Area Access, and our individual names.

"Well, that's... certainly something," I absentmindedly commented. I looked up to see Shining and Cadence smiling at us. "Thank you."

"No need to thank us," Shining said. "Princess Celestia would probably like to hear back from you all."

"In that case, can I get paper to write back?"

"Sure," Shining said before lighting his horn up. In a flash of light, a roll of some type of paper appeared, along with a quill and an ink well. "Here you go."

I took the paper before me before nodding. "It's alright, I don't need the quill, but thank you anyway."

Shining and Cadence were confused by such a statement. "Why? Do you have your own on you?"

I smirked and then shook my head. "Nope, something better." I then reached into my pocket and grabbed a Biro pen.

Cadence was even more confused. "What is THAT?"

"A Biro, or its proper name, a ball-point pen."

"What does it do?"

"It already has ink in a tube that gets put onto the end. Don't ask me on specifics, I don't make the things. The ink goes on the tip and leaves a trail, and it dries as soon as you use it. I'll show you."

And that I did, writing the letter to Princess Celestia as to our agreement into attending the Gala, with Cadence and Shining watching in awe. When I finished, I asked for an opinion.

"If you could have those patented..." Shining said.

"I'm not taking credit for someone else's work," I cut him off. I was being truthful though, I didn't invent them.

"You could give the ideas to somebody to manufacture the pens," Cadence commented.

"I suppose we could. By the way, can I get a map of the place? I'm going to get lost here if I don't."

Nathan and Thomas started laughing, but Cadence just gave me a map of the place. "There you go. That should let you familiarise with the place."

"Thanks," I said, before turning back to the other two and waited for them to stop laughing.

Which actually took a while. In the mean time, I put the map in my pocket

When they did, I spoke again, in a joking manner. "If either of you get lost here, I'm not helping you."

"Oh, NO!" Thomas gasped sarcastically. "Please don't do that to ME!"

I laughed, then looked at my watch for the time, which had actually become 10:12PM while I wasn't paying any attention.

"Well, I'm gonna call it a day," I said, getting up and walking out of the hall. "See you lot later."

When the door closed again, I got out the map from my pocket and began to walk back to my room.

Well, today was certainly... an interesting day.

Author's Note

I'm late! BUGGER!

Chapter 11 - The Announcement

That night was uneventful. I'd gone back up to my bedroom before everybody else and just played on my phone for a bit. After... say, half an hour, I decided to call it a day and switched my phone off. I got out of my clothes, except for my boxers and got in my bed and waited to fall asleep. You know, nothing too out of the ordinary.

Unless you count me having another nightmare... again.

This one was slightly different. Whereas in the one I'd had the previous night was basically me reliving that Sunday, this one was... slightly surreal. It was about some form of carnage... even now it's really hard to recall anything. The only thing I could remember is that there was screaming and someone had died...

It's not exactly the happiest things you could think of, I know.

The weird thing was not the actual dream itself, nor its disturbing content - but at the time, I swore to myself that I was almost lucid near the end - or as if something on the outside was trying to get in...

I woke up in a similar fashion to the previous night, 3 or 4 in the morning. This time, I couldn't go back to sleep no matter how hard I tried... even the reverse psychology thing didn't work. After about half an hour of tossing and turning, I gave up and poured myself a small glass of wine. Taking a sip, I realised that I hadn't actually wine in about two years, not after that incident.

I wonder how Cassie will react to hearing about this, I thought.

With that thought in my head, and me mapping out all of the possible outcomes I could think of, I went into the bathroom and washed my hands. I didn't really know what to make of these dreams I've been having, as I hadn't had any recently before coming to Equestria. As far as I can remember, for the last few years or so, I hadn't had anything like those dreams, yet my first two nights in another world, and I've had nightmares worse than when I was a child?

I threw some water over my face, not that it was a good idea or anything, considering I was trying to get back to sleep, but I just felt like doing it, while the water was still running.

After drying my hands and face, I went back over to my glass and sipped again, the good taste calming whatever left of my initial panic that was still left. After taking the rest of the wine, I went back into the bathroom and washed the glass out with a tea-towel, and put the glass back where I'd got it from. Walking back to the bed, I was only thinking about one thing.

What was that fucking dream about?

I slumped back onto the bed and waited for myself to go back to sleep.

It took longer than I thought.

The first thing I was aware of when I began to wake was a sort of wet drop on my face. As my vision began to clear, and I could begin to make out shapes, I saw something that still frightens me to this very day.

An angry Princess Cadence. Along with a slightly worried looking Shining Armor, Thomas and Nathan sneering like nobody's business, and a Flash Sentry that was warning me of something.

With a bucket of water held in her magic.

Whatever Flash was trying to mouth was lost on me.

"Cade-"

Splash.

I had managed to close my eyes just in time to avoid the water going to get in my eyes.

My face, hair, mouth and pillow did not share the same fate.

Nathan and Tom started laughing as I coughed back up the water that had went into my mouth.

"Cadence!" I coughed, trying to regain my composure. "What the hell are you trying to do!?"

Cadence simply glared at me so fiercely even William Wallace would surrender.

"Well... you see..." Shining began, but was quickly cut off by his wife.

"Do you have ANY idea what time it is, Mister Luss?" Cadence scolded, her glare boring into me.

I would never admit it to her or Tom or Nate... or Flash... or Shining, for that matter - but I was quite scared of Cadence at that moment in time.

Still wasn't as scary as my mum when she found out I'd failed the Standard Grade English prelim, but still pretty scary nonetheless.

Deciding not to say anything to make her angrier, I looked at the clock in my room - and saw immediately why she was so pissed.

The clock read 10:46.

We were supposed to be giving the statement of our arrival in about fifteen minutes. I was still in bed.

Ah.

"Well..." I began, ready to give an explanation as I got out of bed. "I may have slept in a bit-"

"SLEPT IN A BIT!?" Cadence yelled.

"Relax, Cadence," I replied, walking into the shower room. "I've been in a worse situation than this before."

"Oh have you, now, Mister Luss?" I could hear Cadence shout as I turned the shower on.

"Aye, when I was supposed to go for my first job interview, I overslept and had to get ready in the time I would've taken to drive my car there. I just managed to get there on time and I wasn't the first to be interviewed so I landed the job," I explained.

Although I wouldn't have done it without that Golf GTI, I thought.

I showered and dressed in the space of two minutes.

Cadence stood there when I came out, dressed, as if she'd just seen a new world record be set, with Nate and Tom doing the same. Shining and Flash were not surprised, however; I suspect their nods were that of approval.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" I asked, slipping my shoes on. "We've got a statement to make."

Everyone in the room, bar myself and Cadence, started laughing. Cadence's glare lessened.

"Try not to sleep in if something like this happens again," was all she said as she walked back out the room.

I turned to the others. They had only stopped laughing at that moment and so the two ponies walked out of the room. Looking at the other two, I saw they still had smirks on their faces.

"Well, let's go," Tom sighed, as he walked out of my room, with me and Nathan following suit. Walking out, Nathan nudged me and leaned over to whisper into my ear.

"Was that interview story true?"

"Aye," I replied. "I realised I slept in, and got into the clothes I was going to wear for it that I had prepared the previous night, got into my car and drove to the interview. Thankfully, it wasn't on the other side of the city and I was driving a Golf GTI at the time."

"Oh, yeah, that GTI," Nathan commented. "How is that old thing?"

"I sold it in 2005 for a dreary old Ford Focus," I explained. I saw him gesture for more info, so I continued. "And in '08, I traded that car for a newer Focus... and you know the rest. I don't actually remember what happened to that GTI after I sold it. It's either been crushed by now or sitting on Auto Trader for about three thousand pounds."

"Yep, I missed it when you drove with that thing," he sighed. "Going round for a spin in Easterhouse at the weekend was a good laugh back in the day."

"Aye," I replied with a laugh. I remember it now, the best time we'd ever done that. We were at the pub on the Friday, and had one or two pints at some bar in Easterhouse- no clue why, and we got back into the car and I was going to drop Nathan back at his house, as he walked here, and I would drive back - but Nate saw something else before I started the engine.

"Look, Jack!" he said, tapping on my shoulder. I looked up to see what Nate had seen. Considering the area was quite rough, I knew who they were and likely what they were doing.

"Neds," I muttered, as I saw the group of four teenagers - couldn't be more than sixteen years old.

"Wonder where they're going?" Nathan asked.

I turned to him, and a cheeky grin was on his face. He was thinking exactly what I was thinking. I turned the ignition key when they were out of sight, and because it was only a 20mph zone, we tailed them up the road to this old abandoned building. I don't know what it used to be used for, but it was abandoned for at least 10 years.

And they walked into what could only be described as a party for neds: teenagers wearing hoodies, trackies, trainers, caps that were on back to front were present, with some of them having either cans of beer or bottles of Buckfast or Smirnoff in their hands, and others on their Nokias, probably prank calling people.

Yes, Nokias. Unfortunately, iPhones didn't exist in '02.

Anyway, after they went in, we pulled up across the street and looked at the place. There were teenagers everywhere - drinking their bottles of Bucky (Buckfast), others playing on their phones, or chucking rocks around, and I even saw two older ones smoking, and thought I saw one try to take cocaine.

Disgusting.

I looked down the road at the street name, and then counted the buildings to get the rough number of the address of this building. I leaned onto the dashboard to write it down, as to report it later to the police.

"Uh, Jack, we got a problem," Nathan said in a shaky voice.

Curious as to what made him sound so nervous, I looked up to where he was looking. I remember my own eyes widening at the sight of two of the neds walk over to the car, both having angry looks on their faces.

One of them was about 16 years old, and was holding a cigarette in one hand, and a knife in the other. The other one, however, was the one I was more scared about. If I were to guess the age of this one, I'd probably say sixteen - but this guy was well built for his age, so I wouldn't be surprised if he were older. He was holding a golf club in his hands, and at the time I couldn't help but think what he could do to the car, never mind us.

So I put the car into first gear again and sped off before the brawny one got anywhere near the damn car. We got to the end of the road in about five seconds. Any attempt they had of trying to keep up was hopeless for them. The one with the cigarette fell over while trying to run to us - so my guess was he was steaming. The brawny one did make some sort of attempt to chase us, but he gave up after we pulled out of the T-junction and went back on the road to the safer areas of Glasgow.

"Wow... fuck, man, that was a bit scary..." Nathan breathed.

"I know," I said, as we drove back to Nathan's parent's house in Scotstoun, as he was still only at uni at this point, whereas I was working.

"Alright, see you sometime, whenever my time is free," Nathan sighed as he got out of the car and walked back to his house. I watched him go back into his house before driving back to my own house.

We reported the area to the police, who said they'd look into it and see what they could do. I never went back up there to check the results for myself, but some ned up there got done for assaulting a police officer, so I knew something was being done.

"Yeah, looking back on it, it was kinda scary, but we were younger then, so I guess we could just laugh now," I laughed.

Eventually, after some walking down the corridors, we arrived at the balcony where Cadence would be talking from. Cadence did this breathing thing that I guess is supposed to calm your nerves, although she's probably done this loads of times before so I didn't see why there was a need to do so.

"Okay," Cadence started after finishing her breathing technique. "Here's my plan. I'll go on and explain a bit about you at first. I'll then explain what happened and what is being done at the moment, and they you can say a few words if you want."

"Sure, that sounds alright," I said, with the other two nodding their heads in agreement.

Cadence nodded as well, before looking at the clock to see that the time was 10:59, which then turned into 11:00. She then regally walked onto the balcony with her wings outstretched. As she did so, the croud's already audible chatter had turned into a roaring cheer.

"Lots of ponies out there," Shining commented, looking out of the window. And as I walked over to look out as well, I saw there were hundreds - and possibly more than a thousand of ponies in the streets below. Seeing this now caused me to become nervous, and I facepalmed.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, JACK! WHY CAN'T YOU KEEP THAT FUCKING MOUTH OF YOURS CLOSED FOR ONCE? I screamed at myself internally.

"Good morning to you all, my fellow citizens and subjects!" Cadence shouted in a booming voice that you wouldn't expect someone like her to have. The crowd then gradually quietened down, allowing her to speak, albeit not as loud as before. "Thank you for being able to gather here this morning to hear the announcement."

She paused for a second, and spoke again. "Two days ago, three individuals from another world arrived in Equestria." The crowd began to start talk amongst themselves, not sure what to make of this new information. Cadence raised her hoof in the air in attempt to quieten the crowd again. They did so rather quickly, and so Cadence continued.

"These beings are sapient like you and I, and we have reason to believe that their kind has technology several decades ahead of our own. These beings are known as humans. They were transported here against their own will via teleportation, and have no means of return."

Gasps could be heard from the crowd.

Cadence continued. "You have probably seen them before, albeit in their cars, but I wish to assure you that they do not have any malicious intent; and in fact are actually rather friendly. "

Murmurs could be heard in the crowd as ponies started to talk again.

"They have been given temporary refuge in the Castle until a way back to their world is found," Cadence announced. "So I would like to welcome one of these individuals, Jack Luss, to speak more about his arrival, and I ask you all to do the same!"

She turned to look at me, with a smirk on her face.

Welp, here we go.

I stepped forward onto the balcony and took in the sheer numbers of ponies on the streets below, most of whom were either stamping their hooves, or cheering - or both. I assumed that instead of clapping their hooves, they stamp them off the ground to show gratitude.

I took in a deep breath, before speaking. "Hello, everybo- UGH, everyPONY!"

I looked down to see some confused faces. "Sorry, where we're from, we say everybody. That's what were used to. It might take a while to get used to the different terminology."

I hear some laughter from the crowd, so I assume I've made an okay start. "As the Princess just said, my name's Jack Luss. The other two people that Princess Cadence mentioned are my friends, Thomas Cooper and Nathan Lang. We were having a discussion over which of our cars, which you may have already seen, was the best. So we decided to race to a restaurant that we go to occasionally. First one there would be deemed the winner - and last one there had to pay."

There were a few chuckles from the crowd. For what reason, I do not know.

"During this race, however, a portal opened in the middle of the road we were driving on, and we all got pulled in. The portal closed before we could go back, so we do not have any method of return at this moment."

Some ponies gasped at this, although they've already heard this information. For now, I decided to ignore it and continue.

"I hope that, for the time being until we can return, we can live on friendly terms with each other."

I paused to see the response to this. Thankfully, it seems to be positive, as the crowd starts cheering again, accompanied with the stamping hooves as well. I turned to Cadence to see what her response would be. She walked over to me and put her hoof on my chest.

"Thank you, Jack. I just need to say a few words, and then we'll finish there," she said, with a smile of approval on her face. And so I walked off the balcony, and back into the room where Shining and the others were.

"Have you ever done something like that before?" Shining asked.

"No," I replied, although I have done something similar. "Well, kind of. It was a similar sort of idea, except it was for a school competition back in my second year of high school. There was only about twenty people in the audience there, but they were adjudicators for public speaking or something like that... THIS was a lot larger though."

We turned our attention back to the balcony, where Cadence was speaking.

"Now, as you've heard, the three humans arrived via portal. But from what we've been able to determine, considering that magic does not exist on this other world-"

Gasps were heard all around. I guessed the whole "life can't exist without magic" thing was actually common belief at that time.

"-their arrival was no mere accident."

Again, gasps could be heard from the crowd, and even from Flash.

Cadence continued. "The portal had to have been activated from Equestria in order to work, and considering the portal was grey in colour, it was opened deliberately by somepony with a vast knowledge of magic, particularly dark magic."

There was no audible response to this.

"If anypony has any information about this, I would advise that they contact myself or the other princesses as son as possible." Cadence looked around and saw that there was nopony that had any questions or the like. "If anypony has any questions, we'll try our best to answer them in court. We might not be able to see everypony, but we'll do our best. Thank you."

The crowd started cheering again as Cadence walked back off of the balcony. As she came over to us, she smiled. "You did good out there, Jack. Was that your first time doing something like that.

And so I explained my speech for this speaking competition that was being held. I was given high marks, but I never won.

"Although not on that scale," I laughed.

Cadence joined in as well. "It was the same for me, the first time I had to give a speech in Canterlot. I was much younger, and I was extremely nervous, but thankfully Auntie Celestia helped me calm my nerves enough. I eventually got better at it as time went on."

"I suppose practice makes perfect," I replied. "So, what next?"

"Well, we see which members of the press have turned up, and what kind of questions they'll ask."

And so we walked back down the corridors to the hall where we first met Cadence and Shining.

At least I didn't screw that one up.

Author's Note

I'm late again. Fuck.

Chapter 12 - Picking Up the Suits

That court session afterwards was more like a press conference, if I'll be honest. There were only so many attendees that could be in the hall, so it was mostly press members from various papers and a few other ponies. It was so tedious, answering the same questions over and over again.

I've done more boring things mind you, like joining the Sea Cadets, or going to the Birmingham Motor Show when I was a kid. There was only one redeeming factor of going to that show.

That XJ220 though...

Anyway, I met a few members of the press, some of whom I managed to keep in contact with afterwards, and became friends. Others were indifferent, which I didn't mind. I didn't expect everyone to be friends with the big, scary-lookin' human. There was a member of that Canterlot Chronicle who was a bit of an arsehole, and made it clear he didn't like us.

Not that he was much of a bother, mind you. I just laughed and stood up, and he never bothered any of us again.

After quite some time, ponies started to clear out, and I called it quits. I walked out the castle and headed to one of the local pubs in the city, a place called The Crystal Barracuda. While I was there, I managed to get a pint of beer (the first was on the house, which was pretty cool in my opinion), met with some of the locals and started a few conversations with them. These conversations mostly revolved on how my world worked, but I didn't care.

They were shocked to learn that Earth has a more-or-less equal sex ratio, and I was - well, gobsmacked - to learn that the pony sex ratio was four mares for every stallion.

Yeah, I can't explain that one either.

But yeah, I had a few more beers and I played darts with some of the locals. My aim was usually good when I played with Brodie, but I hadn't played in at least four years, and the guy I was up against was some form of pro.

It's fair to say I got my arse kicked.

It was all friendly sport though, so it didn't really matter.

Anyway, after another few hours of socialising, I was persuaded by the barman and the pub-goers that I should play some "human music" on. I whipped out my phone, turned the volume up and played Take On Me by a-ha.

Needless to say, they weren't disappointed.

There was questions asked about them, but I didn't know all that much about a-ha. I tried to answer to the best of my abilities, but there was a few "I don't know"s. After all, I'm a Queen guy.

Eventually, I left, apologising to the barman for not actually buying anything to drink, as I didn't have any money on me. He was OK with it, as I was quite friendly with the folks there, so it wasn't much of an issue.

When I got back, Shining was there on the step. He looked over at me. "Where did you go?"

"Some place called The Crystal Barracuda."

Shining's eyes lit up. "The Crystal Barracuda? That's the place some of the guys go when they're off duty. I went with Flash and a few others before. It's a good place, isn't it?"

"Yep. It's even better than the regular place we usually go to in Glasgow."

"What's that?"

"The Finnieston. We go every fortnight and have a few drinks and just have fun. Sometimes we did bicker a bit, which is why we're here."

Shining chuckled as we walked back up the stairs. "Sounds like a good place."

The rest of the day was uneventful. We had dinner, and then we let Cadence and Shining watch the original Star Wars. Because the prequels suck.

They liked it a lot. Shining liked this more than Rush, but mainly because it was more exciting than Rush. They also liked the chemistry between the actors, especially between Alec Guinness and James Earl Jones.

Everything else was boring. I headed back up to my room after that and finally fell asleep at half past eleven or something along those lines.

On Wednesday I met some of the guards while they were off duty. Two that I decided to hang around with were notorious in the castle for being pranksters. One was a unicorn stallion by the name of Thunder Bristle, and the other was a pegasus mare called Anomaly.

You know how I said earlier on that the guards here are mostly purple, with a few exceptions?

Well, it's not actually like that. The guard's body armour actually has a special magical spell in it that makes ponies look the same. Anomaly actually had this navy blue-ish coat, almost like Luna's, but slightly more... blue. Her mane was this type of dark red - think cherry, for reference.

Thunder Bristle, on the other hand, was... well, the exact opposite.

It turned out that they were brother and sister - the mother was a unicorn by the name of Prized Fortune, who lives in Canterlot currently, while the father was a pegasus living in Cloudsdale, which is... a city in the clouds.

Yeah, don't ask me how that one works. I don't know either.

Anyway, we quickly became friends and we spent the day pulling pranks on various ponies in the castle, including switching the laundry piles for the maids, switching the sugar and salt in the kitchens, putting glue on Nathan's seat, putting an air horn behind one of the doors, and changed some of the toilet rolls with duct tape.

We did try to put post-it notes onto Thomas' door, but he caught us when we started to write messages on the post-it, things like "good luck trying to get these off quickly". I personally thought it was hilarious.

Thomas... let's just say he didn't enjoy it as much as me.

We actually had to run through a court meeting just to get away from Thomas. When we burst through the doors, everybody looked so confused. Although people began to see who we were, we ran quickly out.

"I am SO sorry about this," I said to Cadence as I ran out, who was giggling at who I was running with and hazarding a guess as to what had happened. Which was confirmed half a second later when Tom burst through the doors and fixed his glare on me.

"COME HERE!" Thomas shouted in a tone that made Tony from The Bill look soft.

We eventually managed to get away, but only because I got yanked into the barracks by Anomaly and used the five lock mechanism for the barracks.

It took him a good fifteen minutes for Tom to leave again, during which I showed the other guards in the barracks my phone, and even managed to take a selfie with them.

Do not ask me to show you the picture, though. I look like a fucking idiot in it.

Anyway, after a while I went back on my way out and did some work for the Crystal Barracuda. It turned out they needed some extra hooves - or hands in my case - because somepony got sick.

I did some work from lifting crates to doing some serving behind the bar. I even got paid for it - I got 40 bits (which is the currency of Equestria) for six hours.

Now I went away and looked at products for sale that could give me an idea of how much it was worth. From what I'm able to work out, 1B is equivalent to about £1.20. That's not bad - well, for working at a bar, anyway.

The rest of the day was as uneventful as the day before after that. Nathan and Tom got me back for the pranks I pulled earlier, namely by putting a whoopee cushion under my chair for dinner, after I had finished working.

How they managed to get it is beyond me, but from the smirk on Shining and Cadence's face, I suspect they had something to do with it. I went back to my room after we had dinner, to find my room in - let's face it - a pig's sty.

The bed looked like it went into a fight with Francis Begbie from Trainspotting (or Trevor Phillips from Grand Theft Auto V if you don't know who Begbie is) - and lost. The mirror was about as clean as a Land Rover Defender's engine, the coat I had from the first day here was now lying in a heap on the floor - inside out, and there was a piece of paper folded up amongst the bed sheets.

Curious, I walked over to the pile and unfolded it - and found some writing clearly aimed at me.

Nobody's immune to pranks.

I knew immediately who had written it.

"Thunder," I muttered under my breath.

Great. Now I have to tidy this shit up.

The following morning, I got up at around 8. I did my usual - got up, got dressed and had breakfast with Cadence and Shining before heading back out to the Barracuda to help out.

I worked for most of the morning and the afternoon. The regular guy was still sick, so the manager was pleased that I could help out.

I did whatever I could - lifting crates in, serving ponies, cleaning glasses - whatever needed done.

There were a variety of folks coming in to the pub - miners from the Crystal Mines slightly south of the city came in, along with others, including a librarian and a few of the guards.

Eventually, at around four o'clock, Thomas came into the bar, although not to have any drinks.

"Alright, mate," I said as I cleaned the beer glass from the last customer. "What can I get you?"

"You forgot, didn't you?" he asked, with a wooden expression giving off the feeling he was slightly angry about something.

"About what?"

Thomas just raised his eyebrow at me, expecting me to remember something. And so I thought for a few seconds, not really sure what he was getting at. And then it hit me.

"The suits."

He nodded. "We're supposed to get them today."

I nodded and then turned to the bar manager. "Excuse me, you don't mind if I-"

"Oh, no, no, it's fine. You've done more than enough, anyway," he replied before turning around again and walking off. "Let me just get you your pay for the day."

As he walked back out the door again, Thomas turned back to me. "You're getting paid for this?"

I nodded. "Aye. The regular guy was sick, so I offered to help out here in his place. Besides, it's something I can do while we're here."

"I suppose," he exhaled. "I'll admit, I was never good with that shite. I got the bar job once - and you know how that one turned out."

"Yeah," I laughed.

Back when he was a student at Strathclyde Uni, and I had just landed my first full-time job, he got a part time job as a bartender at some pub now that doesn't exist anymore. He wasn't very good at it - he got some orders wrong and was dismissed in three weeks. He did full-time work at the weekends, but as I said, not very good at his job.

Brodie and I actually listened into that entire conversation the bar manager had with Tom.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're playing at, boy?"

"Well, sir, I may have gotten a few orders wrong, but-"

"A FEW ORDERS?! I've been getting all sorts of negative feedback about this bar, all these negative reviews - and they all started when YOU started working here!"

"Well, sir, mistakes were made-"

"This pub has had a good reputation since my father started it back in '66. Do you have ANY IDEA how important this place means to me?"

"Sir-"

"And you're tainting the reputation of this place by screwing up order after order?"

"Well sir, I've never done this sort of thing before-"

"And it shows."

"But-"

"Get out."

"Wh-what?"

"You're fired. GET OUT OF MY BAR, AND NEVER COME BACK!"

It was safe to say Tom never put that on his CV for when he went for SSE.

But, whatever. We all make mistakes.

Soon, the unicorn manager came back out with a small bag. "There ya go," he said as he put the bag on the table with his magic. "55 bits. 50 for your work, and another 5 as a thank you, if you will."

"Cheers mate," I replied, taking the money before turning back to Tom as we walked out. "Where we headed?"

"To the train station. Nathan's already headed there, and the train leaves in about twenty minutes."

We walked down to the train station in relative silence, still taking in the beauty of the city. I've said this before, but it's more radiant and more radiant than any city I've ever seen or been to before. It still takes my breath away to this very day.

We got to the the station in about ten minutes and, sure enough, guess who was waiting.

"Well, about time," Nathan sarcastically commented. "You showed up really early."

I ignored his comment. I really wasn't in the mood for it.

While we waited, the conversation we had varied form what I did to what they did. Thomas had tried some pranking, but most of it seemed to backfire. Nathan went to the local library and read through what he could of literature and see who was good.

He had come across this book series which seems awfully similar to Indiana Jones - a book series called Daring Do by an A.K. Yearling.

Now who could that possibly remind me of?

Apparently it focused on this pegasus mare by the name of Daring Do, an adventurer who goes around saving artefacts from various different places.

Wonder how ponies would react if they saw Indiana Jones, I thought to myself as Nathan explained the setting of the first book - Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Statue or something like that.

Eventually, the train arrived and we climbed aboard the train, ignoring the looks everypony was giving us. We sat at this little four seat spot that allowed us to see out the window. While we waited, Nathan handed Thomas that Daring Do book he was talking about so he could read on the way to Ponyville.

In Nathan's words, "Maybe you'll keep off that damned phone for once," referencing the time that he went on his phone after he drove his brand new Audi out the showroom - and almost crashing into the car in front.

This comment was met with fake laughter and a two-fingered salute from Tom.

As the train started to move, I pulled out my phone out of my pocket, put my earphones in and played this playlist I had on my phone that was specifically for long distance travel. If you're interested, the list was filled with old Queen, AC/DC and Fleetwood Mac songs - Don't Stop Me Now, Another One Bites The Dust, We Are The Champions, Invisible Man, Black In Back, Thunderstruck, Highway To Hell and The Chain, just to name a few.

They just don't make songs like this anymore.

Eventually, when we got nearing this small town up ahead, I felt a slight tug on my shoulder. Pulling out my earphone, I turned to Nathan. "Yeah?"

"Just letting you know we're almost at Ponyville," Nathan explained, while putting the Daring Do book back into this bag he'd taken from my room. "Because you were too busy listening to your music."

"Alright," I replied as I wound up the earphones and put them back into my pocket. Checking my phone, I saw the time was around half past five. Should be back for no later than eight.

We got up and headed to the doors, while attracting the looks of many ponies on the train; most of these stares were of amazement. These looks were ignored as the doors opened and the ponies waiting at Ponyville Station all turned their heads to look at us in awe.

There was silence as we walked off of the train and onto the platform. It continued for quite a bit, and began to make me feel uneasy.

"Good afternoon," Thomas said in a somewhat nervous tone.

The ponies stopped staring and went back to what they were previously doing before - whether that may be meeting people from the station, getting on, getting off, whatever.

Well, that happened.

"There you are, darlings."

We all turned to the source of the voice.

"Rarity."

"How are you all? No problems at all?"

"Doing alright," I replied, with nods of agreement from Tom and Nate. "We got a few looks on the station, but that's to be expected I suppose. Apart from that, everything's fine."

"That's great to hear, darling. Now, why don't we head round to my place?"

"Alright."

And with that, we started to walk over to Rarity's house - or boutique as we found out later. On the way, we started talking with Rarity.

"Are you just by yourself at the moment?" Thomas asked.

"No, I live with my little sister, although she's out with her friends at the moment."

"What's her name?" Thomas asked.

"Sweetie Belle. She goes to the local school and is the one of the few ponies in her year who doesn't have her cutie mark yet."

"Oh," Thomas replied. "She doesn't get too worked up about it, does she?"

"Sometimes, she does," Rarity sighed sadly. "She and her friends have this club to help ponies get their cutie marks, and they try lots of things to try and see what their cutie mark is, but they don't get much success."

"Ouch, that must suck," I commented. "Where is she now?"

"She went with her friends, Applebloom and Scootaloo, to a Rodeo in a town called Appleoosa, to watch Applejack and her cousin, Braeburn."

"Would I be right in hazarding a guess and saying that Applebloom is Applejack's little sister?" Nathan asked.

"That you are."

And before we knew it, we were at Rarity's boutique, which was titled Carousel Boutique. I suppose it was rather fitting when you considered the building was circular and - well, looked like a carousel. Kind of.

"Come in, darlings," Rarity said as she opened the doors with her telekinesis. "Please, do sit down. Make yourselves comfortable while I go get your suits."

As we did so, Rarity walked up the stairs in a hurried pace. I looked round the place and saw everything you would expect to find in a designer store like hers; mannequins - or (pony-quins?) in this case - mirrors, movable screens. It even had this small stage that I suppose is used for display. But it was all laid out in a way that was likely to make you not forget the place, even if you only came here once. And in a good way, at that.

"There you go, Nathan," Rarity shouted from the top of the stairs as she levitated the suit down to him. "That one's yours. Try it on from behind the back of that screen there."

"Thanks," Nathan replied before getting behind said screen and started taking his clothes off.

"That one's yours," Rarity continued, levitating the hanger to me, while also getting the one for Nathan. "And this one's yours, darling."

"Cheers," we replied as we walked over to behind the screens and put on the suits. When we came out from behind the screens, we were in awe of what we looked like.

My suit wasn't just something like what I imagined - it was EXACTLY the way I imagined it, right down to the button size. It really was amazing how accurate to what I'd hoped for. If you want to see what it looked like, imagine the tuxedo from the Monte Carlo scene from GoldenEye, except a bit flashier.

"This is... exactly how I imagined it in my head," I commented aloud. "I... don't know how you pulled that off, Rarity."

"Oh, a mare has her ways, darling," Rarity replied with a smirk.

OK, I won't question that one again.

Thomas' was more or less the way he described it. It looked similar to the suit he wore for the school's prom in '02 that I saw in his photos, except it looked, again, more flashier, while still managing to look smart.

Nathan's was a little bit different. His was more or less the way he had described it as well, and don't get me wrong, the suit was excellent. It's just... he didn't suit it. And I don't mean that in a bad way for Rarity. It's just that... you know how certain people only look good in certain clothes - like Jason Bourne would look ridiculous in a tuxedo, and Nicola Sturgeon in racing overalls would just be plain wrong?

Well, Nathan's a bit like that. He just looked... weird in it.

Maybe that's because he never went to the school prom due to leaving at fifth year to go to uni, or the fact that his job never requires him to dress as such, but you couldn't deny that, despite this, the suit did look good on him.

"Apart from the fact I've never seen you in a suit," Thomas commented, thinking more or less what I was thinking. "That looks really good on you."

"Well, I've been to job interviews," Nathan retorted. "But thanks anyway. And thank you, Rarity."

"You're welcome, darling. Now, do they fit properly?"

"Yep," was the answer that came from all of our mouths in unison.

"Splendid. Now, I also made some more casual clothing as well," Rarity replied, levitating more hangers downstairs with her magic. "Try these on for me, will you?"

"Sure," Thomas replied.

And so the next half hour was spent trying on the other sets of clothing that Rarity had made for us. For me, they consisted of a few shirts, some underwear, a couple of pairs of trousers and a few pairs of socks. While I was trying the latter on, I found out that Rarity didn't know what to go for with the socks, as socks were seen as a form of lingerie for ponies.

Yeah, don't ask why.

Anyway, after we found out everything fitted more or less perfectly, Rarity put the clothes into three separate jute bags and put them on the counter along with our three suits for the Gala.

"So, how much will the extra clothes cost?" I asked.

"Oh, this will be on the house as well, darling," Rarity replied, making all of our mouths open in shock.

"Are you sure?" I asked, unsure. "I mean, I have money that I've earned from working at one of the local bars for the last few days and-"

"Oh, no. Don't be silly, darling. Think of it as a gift from me. And besides, I don't think you would have enough money for all of the clothes."

I looked away to the floor for a few seconds. While I didn't feel it was right for her to put in all that effort for nothing, technically speaking I couldn't argue with her on the money terms. I only had fifty bits on me at the moment, and to be honest, those shirts looked like they would cost at least 20 bits each. I looked back up. "Alright, Rarity, thank you."

"You're welcome, darlings."

"So, this where we part ways for now?" Thomas asked.

A smirk worked its way onto Rarity's face. "Not yet."

Thomas' eyebrow raised in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"If you would follow me..." Rarity said cryptically as she opened the front door with her telekinesis and walked out of the boutique. Confused as to what she was doing, we all followed her as she walked through the town. As we did so, I noticed that the town was... quite quiet, contrary to earlier on.

Weird.

Eventually, we arrived at this place called Sugarcube Corner. It was styled as if a cake had just been plunked down on the spot and had various bits of it on the inside cut out to accommodate people, which gave me the impression that this was a cake shop.

But why is that name so familiar?

Rarity opened the door with her magic and stepped aside to let us through. "After you, darlings."

Raising an eyebrow at her suspicious behaviour, I walked inside first. Only to find a room that was completely pitch black.

Wierd behaviour? Check. Lights out? Check. Nobody around? Check.

And then it dawned on me. Pinkie Pie said on Monday that she works here.

Oh, wait a minute...

At the moment I had put all the pieces together, the lights turned on, revealing a rather large gathering of ponies.

"SURPRISE!"

Chapter 13 - Thomas + Booze = Disaster?

If I'm honest, if I hadn't worked it out for myself, I would probably have been surprised, although I don't think my reaction would be quite like Thomas'.

He quite literally jumped up and let off a half-yell, half-scream in the process, if you understand what I mean. His eyebrows were raised further than his ridiculous hairline and his breathing was uncontrollable as well. I could just make out what he said after he'd calmed down.

"What's going on?"

"It's your surprise party, silly!" Pinkie replied in her usual bubbly attitude. "Specifically, your 'Welcome to Equestria' party. It would have been your 'Welcome to Ponyville' party, but then again, you're not exactly living in Ponyville at the moment, so it's you're 'Welcome to Equestria' party instead. Were you surprised? Wereyouwereyouwereyou?"

"Yes," Thomas and Nathan replied, both of whom did look very surprised.

"No," I answered, making ponies gasp and making Pinkie look like I had slapped her.

"WHAT? How not?" she replied, obviously concerned at how I was not even in the slightest bit surprised as she gave me this look with massive eyes. Those things are practically cinema screens for expressing emotions.

"Well, first off," I began to explain. "I began to realise something was up when Rarity started leading us here. Then there was the fact that literally nobod- ugh, noPONY - was in town. The building looks like a place where people would party, the lights were out, and you even said you worked here."

"Oh," Pinkie replied, looking slightly deflated, which was quickly rectified and replaced with a happy demeanour instead. "I'll just have to try harder to get you!"

"Well, now that you've told me, I'll just have to watch out."

"You can try," Pinkie responded. "Anyway, shall we get this party started?"

"Well, as long as Dumb and Dumber here," I replied, pointing to Nathan and Thomas. "...don't get drunk then we should we be alright."

"Okie dokie." After this, Pinkie zipped off to do something else.

"Dumb and Dumber?"

I turned round to see a rather unhappy Thomas. And a rather annoyed Nathan.

"Well, I'm sorry, but it's true," I explained. "You, Nathan, are a lightweight who can't even handle a bit of gin, and Thomas, you don't know your limit, no matter how often you go out drinking. To be honest, I'm actually surprised you're still alive."

"I might not be able to drink that much drink, but at leased I don't go and piss myself in some pub in Ayr," Nathan remarked.

"Better than throwing up on someone's shoes and being an arsehole about it."

"Besides," Thomas added with a wide smirk, making me roll my eyes, as he's just about to start boasting. "I'm probably the strongest drinker in this room."

"Yah sure about that, partner?"

We all turned to the distinctive southern-US accent.

"Applejack? Something wrong?" Nathan asked.

Applejack ignored him. "Yah sure yer the strongest drinker in this entire room?"

"Aye," Thomas replied. "What, dae you think YOU can dae better?"

"Ah don't think so," Applejack replied, making Thomas raise his eyebrows. "Ah'm sure I can."

Silence lingered in the room for a few moments, with the exceptions of a few whispers in the room. Eventually, an impish grin worked its way onto Thomas' face.

"Well, I know a game that we can play so we... know for certain."

Applejack rubbed her hoof against her chin, contemplating the offer. Eventually a similar grin appeared on Applejack's muzzle. "Sure thing. What's this game yer talkin' about?"

"We need some good drinks and a pack of cards," Thomas explained.

Both of these items, a pack of playing cards and a bottle of some beer-type drink labelled 'Sweet Apple Acres Cider' appeared on one of the nearby tables.

"There you go!" Pinkie announced. "That's you set for the game."

"Thanks, Pinkie," Applejack replied.

"No problem, AJ."

Thomas just stood there open mouthed.

"How did you manage to do that so quickly?"

"I'm Pinkie Pie."

"That's not really an answer," Thomas replied raising his eyebrow. I was going to side for Thomas, but for the moment I decided to keep my mouth shut and see where this would go.

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't..."

"Yes it is.

"No, it's not!" Thomas called out, clearly becoming agitated at Pinkie's persistence at that actually being an answer.

I mean, come on. Saying that's an answer is like saying Michael Schumacher won all of those championships because he's Michael Schumacher.

"Twilight, would you?" Pinkie asked, turning to Twilight, who was in the crowd.

Twilight sighed. "Yes it is, Thomas. Please don't argue, I tried finding out what Pinkie's secret was years ago, but I couldn't come to any conclusions."

"Anyway, what's this game ya were talkin' about?"

Thomas broke off his glare from Pinkie and turned back to Applejack. "It's simple. Each of us gets dealt a card, and we play the card to see who has the highest ranking card."

"Okay, Sugercube, but I don't see how the-" Applejack began, before it hit her, with her then making an 'O' shape with her mouth.

"Loser has to take a drink of that stuff."

"Alright," AJ replied, pouring each of them a glass. "Well let's see who's the better one at drinkin'."

"Nathan," Tom called. "Can you be a pal and deal the cards for us?"

"Aye, sure," Nathan replied, picking up the cards and sitting down.

At that moment, I felt a poking sensation next to me. I turned towards the source and saw a particular rainbow-maned pegasus flying next to me.

"Oh, hey, Rainbow. What's up?"

"I don't know what Applejack's gotten herself into by challenging Thomas," Rainbow whispered, clearly wincing at her friend possibly losing.

"I know what Tom's getting himself into," I replied. "A pile of his own sick."

"Eww, that's gross!"

"He's done that sort of thing before."

Rainbow laughed for a bit. "You are kidding?"

I sighed, looking back at Applejack. "I wish I was."

"You got money on you?" Rainbow asked.

"Yeah sure. Why do you ask?"

"Well, ten bits says that Applejack beats Thomas."

"Twenty," I disagreed. I didn't actually have faith in Thomas, to be fair, but I just wanted to maybe wind Rainbow up a bit if he won.

"Done."

As our little conversation finished, the first hand was played. Thomas had played a 8 of clubs, while Applejack played the 4 of spades. This made Thomas a bit cocky, and added to Applejack's annoyance as she drank the whole glass in one go.

"Well, it seems like Applejack is enjoying herself," I absent mindedly commented.

"Ah heard that, Jack."

I laughed nervously on the spot, whilst rubbing the back of my head. "Sorry."

The card game went on for nearly ten minutes, whilst going on a seesaw of Applejack winning and Thomas winning, all the while ponies watching. There was one exception where AJ won three plays in a row, and the quick rectification by Thomas by winning twice in a row.

During this, however, we saw Applejack play the Duke of Diamonds, whilst Thomas played the Princess of Hearts which had me confused.

"Princesses? Dukes?"

"Yeah, in cards it goes; Ace, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine and Ten, with it going onto Duke, then Prince, then Princess. Isn't that how it works in your world?"

"No, for us, the Aces and numbers are exactly the same, but then it goes Jack-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. No need to inflate your ego, Jack."

"I'm not joking - although it used to be called a Knave until someone pointed out the abbreviations could be confused."

"Oh, okay. But with what?"

"Well, the one above Jack/Knave is Queen. And next is King. If you abbreviate King and Knave you get K and Kn, which is kind of confusing."

Eventually, after Thomas had nine glasses and AJ had ten of them, Thomas started coughing while taking his tenth glass, and thus the victory was given to Applejack. I nervously turned to Rainbow Dash, who had a large grin resting on her face.

"Ahem," Rainbow fake coughed.

"Fine," I groaned with frustration, and pulled the pouch out of my pocket. Opening it up, I forked out the twenty bits that Rainbow was looking for.

"Thank you, very much. But where'd you get the money from?"

"I did some work for a local pub. I stepped in for one of their regular guys who got sick."

"Thomas hasn't been down there has he?

"No. I mean, he was once, but that was to get me to stop working so I'd come here. Hasn't had anything in there."

"What's the place called?" Rainbow asked.

"The Crystal Barracuda."

Rainbow's eyes lit up in a similar fashion to the way Shining Armor's had earlier. "The Crystal Barracuda? That's one of the best bars in all of Equestria."

"You been in there at all?"

"Yeah, I've been in there a few times. One time it was when we had helped get the Crystal Empire the rights to host the Equestria Games."

"Yeah, Cadence told us about that when we first arrived. How did it go?" I asked.

"Well, Ponyville won the medal count by one medal - thirty seven compared to Cloudsdale's thirty six that year."

"Has Cloudsdale hosted the games before?"

"Well, they should have," Rainbow sighed.

"Rainbow?"

"They were bidding to host the games when I was a little filly. They were so close to getting the bid, but the games were given to Fillydelphia that year, instead. I was quite upset about not being able to host the games that year, so I tried my hardest to make sure that the Crystal Empire got to host the games last year."

"Wow, nice. So, who's hosting the next one?"

"Well, the selection process hasn't been made yet, but Canterlot, Manehattan and Las Pegasus are the three cities that have made the bids at the moment," Rainbow replied.

"So, when was the other time that you were in there?"

"When we celebrated winning the Equestria Games at the bar. The place got extremely crowded that night, but it was still a good night out."

"A belated congratulations on your victory."

"Thanks. Anyway, shall we go back to everypony else?"

"Yep, as long as I don't get wasted like Thomas did."

A distinct sarcastic laugh could be hear from Thomas and out of the corner of my eye, I could make out a distinct two fingered salute.

The party went on for another few hours, which surprised me. We had gotten there at round about seven o'clock and the party had dragged on to eleven o'clock. During this time, Nathan had tried (and failed) taking shots of gin, I had my few share of whiskey drams, and we had spoken to various different ponies.

Thomas tried to make some sort of intelligible conversation with a purple earth pony named Berry Punch.

Not the greatest idea in the world, I thought.

Nathan and I started talking to the town's resident DJ, Vinyl Scratch, who had this electric blue mane that looked kind of... electrifying, and her best friend, Octavia. She was apparently a cellist for Canterlot's Symphony Orchestra.

We had a long conversation ranging from music in Equestria to music on Earth, which I pointed out wasn't as good as it used to be.

"So, do you have any human music with you that we could hear right now?" Vinyl asked, with a hopeful pair of eyes and smile.

"Well, I do have this one playlist on my phone with songs that I listen to so I lighten up a bit," I replied.

"Oh, cool!" Vinyl said loudly. "Can we hear some songs?"

"I don't know..." I replied mockingly, rubbing my chin as if to contemplate the idea. I was really doing this to wind her up, which I was successful in doing.

"Oh, come ON, dude!" Vinyl moaned. "Just play ONE song, please?"

"Alright, alright!" I replied jumpily, pulling out my phone. "I was only kidding. Here, I'll play you a song from one of the most popular bands from back on my world."

"Cool!" Vinyl exclaimed. "What are they called?"

"Queen."

"Kinda short for a band."

"Yes, but they're one of the best bands in the world. They're my personal favourite band out there."

"What's the song you're going to play called?"

"Don't Stop Me Now, which came out nearly 40 years ago. It's one of Queen's most memorable songs."

And so I played the music at full volume, letting all of the ponies around hear the song. The song was very well received, as multiple ponies started dancing during the song. I even started singing the chorus at the end, as did some of the other ponies, including Vinyl, which was actually quite a good mix with the original song.

"So, what do you think?" I asked as the music started fading away.

"That was awesome!" Vinyl exclaimed, with ponies in the crowd humming with agreement.

"You like it then?"

"Yeah! Who's the main singer?" Vinyl asked.

"Freddie Mercury, a man who has become a bit of an idol in music. He wrote a lot of Queen's most memorable songs, while two of the others in the band, guitarists John Deacon and Brian May did some other ones as well."

"What other songs did Queen sing?"

"Well, my favourites are The Invisible Man, Another One Bites The Dust, We Are The Champions and Bohemian Rhapsody, to name a few."

And so we ended up playing the rest of the Queen playlist on my phone, going through all of the songs listed above. Vinyl took a liking to The Invisible Man, while Octavia liked the slower pacing of Bohemian Rhapsody, with various ponies either taking a liking to other songs, or not liking them at all.

I didn't blame them for not liking Queen, although I was quite disappointed.

"So what do Queen do now?" Octavia asked.

"Well, Queen hasn't really been all that popular for a while now," Nathan explained. "Freddie Mercury, the lead singer, died in 1991 from a type of pneumonia brought on by AIDS."

"Oh, that's awful!" Octavia replied, shocked.

"It gets worse," Nathan continued. "Deacon left the band in '97, twenty years ago, and the band hasn't really been the same since then, even with various singers like Elton John and Robbie Williams doing the lead singing."

"Oh."

"But they certainly did a lot better than some other bands in terms of ageing, like The Beatles, who only stayed together for ten years before breaking up. I didn't really like their stuff all that much."

"Yeah, neither did I," I added.

As more songs were played, and us three all made fools of ourselves by dancing, we started to know some of the other ponies. There was a pony called Lyra Heartstrings, who - you guessed it - played the lyre. She became interested in us and our world, so a lot of Nathan's time that night was telling her what our world was like.

All the while, the purple princess was taking down everything on notes. And when I say everything, I MEAN everything. She more or less copied every single word that came out of Nathan's mouth, and pasted it into this notebook. No joke. I even looked at her notes while she went to get a non-alcoholic drink, and everything I could remember Nathan saying was in there.

But eventually, eleven o'clock came around, and some ponies were already beginning to leave. I realised that we needed to get back on the next train to the Crystal Empire and try and get to our bedrooms undetected; I had a feeling at the time that Cadence and Shining might not be all that pleased with us.

You know, staying up until at least half past midnight and not telling them how long we'd be gone for. And they wouldn't be impressed that we were drunk, either.

Well, two of us were.

I'll leave you to figure out which one wasn't.

Anyway, it was getting late so I asked the other two if it was okay for them to leave now.

"Aye, sure 'hing mate. Sound as," replied a rather drunken Thomas.

"Well, it's gettin' late anyway, so aye," replied a less drunk, but still tipsy Nathan.

"Alright then, I'll let Pinkie know that were leaving soon."

And so I walked over to the area where Pinkie Pie was standing, still singing, and dancing to, Another One Bites The Dust. As she saw me approach, she stopped.

"Hey, Jackie!" Pinkie replied, making me freeze.

You see, I haven't heard anyone call me Jackie in a long time. The first time that name was used for me was as a pet name by my aunt-that's-not-really-my-aunt, Karen. In Scotland, lots of folks have an aunt that isn't really their aunt: it's usually your mum's best pal, and when you're a kid, they just get referred to as an auntie, even when there's no blood connection, and the name usually sticks.

But, she stopped calling me that when I was about 14. It's when I first did a track day at Knockhill that I got called it again. A lot of my classmates came there, as it was a sort of unofficial school leaver's party of sorts, a week before the last day of school. I got entered in for this hot hatch race, and even though I didn't win, I somehow managed to the fastest lap of the class.

So, my mates decided to call me Jackie, after Jackie Stewart, the F1 driver, and the name stuck. But nobody's called me that since Brodie died.

"Are you OK?"

I zoned back in to see Pinkie shaking my arm with her hoof.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just that no-one's called me that in a long time."

"What?"

Cue another explanation of the 'Jackie' nickname.

"Okay. I'm allowed to call you it though, right?" She asked, worried I was upset.

"Aye, sure. I'm not mad or anything, just a bit surprised."

"So, what did you come to talk to me about?"

"Well, me and the others were going to head on the train, as that's eleven already and it's gonna take us an hour and a half to get back to the Crystal Empire."

"Oh, right. That's not a problem, guys, we all need to go home at some point," Pinkie replied, albeit loud enough for the whole room to hear, although only directed at the other two.

"Thanks a lot Pinkie, I mean for throwing this party as well. It was really nice of you," I said.

"No problem, Jackie!" she smiled.

"Well, until next time, see you later."

"See you later."

"Oh, wait!" I responded. "You wouldn't be happening to be going to the Grand Galloping Gala on Saturday, are you?"

"Yep, I am!" She replied. "It's the going to be one of the best nights ever! It was quite boring before, but we tried to lighten it up over the last few years. Why'd you ask?"

"Well, it's just that me and the others will be there as well. We were down here to pick up our suits for it."

"Ah well, I'll need to look out for you then! When's your chariot leaving?"

"Well, we planned on taking our cars there and showing them off to the Canterlot folks instead."

"Oh, OK then! See you... whenever you show up?"

"Yep, see you then."

I turned back around and headed back to the two idiots that never know their limits.

"Right, come on then, you idiots. Let's go," I grunted.

Nathan managed to get onto his two feet just fine, but Tom? Well, that's a different story.

"Aww, naw, man. Ah'm so sore and ah cannae get up!" he shouted.

I groaned in displeasure. Looks like we have to lift this idiot out, again.

"Get up, Tom," I said, grabbing him from underneath his arm and holding him by his other shoulder, and dragged him out of the bar, ignoring the unintelligible words escaping from his mouth and the stares from other ponies. Nathan, on the other hand, grabbed our suits that we hung up next to the doors.

It took us a good ten minutes to get to the train station, to discover the next train would arrive in five minutes. I sat Thomas down on the bench and listened to some music in the mean time.

When the train did arrive, I picked up Thomas by the shoulder again, and motioned for Thomas to find us both a seat. He came back and led us to a four-seater area that we could all sit in. It was going to be a long journey, so it helped that the seats were comfortable.

What was not going to be comfortable, however, was the inevitable shouting we would be getting from either Cadence or Shining Armor.

We finally came up to the Crystal Empire at around 1 o'clock in the morning, the shininess of the city still shining bright, even at night time, making a beautiful sight to behold. The other major thing that was noticeable was the train station. Or, to be more precise, who was waiting there.

There were six royal guards waiting at the station, two of them being Thunder and Anomaly. Looking from the distance, I could see they were chatting amongst themselves and having a laugh, but once the train's whistle was sounded, and those extremely loud brakes were applied, they stood to attention and watched the train eagle-eyed as it came to a halt.

"Well, time to face the music, lads," I sighed, before getting up, looking at the guards who were as still as a statue and picked up Thomas. "Come on, you stupid wanker."

"Aww, but that's naw faaaaair! These seats were so comfy!"

When the doors were opened the guards focused their stares on us... and said stares turned into ones of shock.

"Jack!" Anomaly called over to me. "What happened to Thomas?"

"He got wasted," I replied, motioning to the cider that was still visible around his mouth. "He dared this pony called Applejack to a challenge involving drinking, and he's had ten glasses of cider from just that alone."

Just then, Thunder lit up his horn and let off a laser beam into the air in what could only be described as a flare gun being fired. Noticing my confused expression, he explained.

"The Princess got slightly worried after you hadn't got off the nine o'clock train, and even more so when you didn't get off the half ten train, and had us stationed hear to look for your arrival. That was a flare to let her know you've arrived."

"What's she been like?" I asked warily.

"Well-"

"Is she pissed?"

"THAT'S ONE WAY OF PUTTING IT, MR. LUSS!"

All of us turned around to see Princess Cadence flying in our general direction. And looking extremely stern at that.

"Look at shoes," I whispered to Nathan, who nodded his head in response.

At least somebody hasn't lost their-

"WHERE IN TARTARUS HAVE YOU THREE BEEN?! AND WHAT TIME DO YOU CALL THIS?!"

"Well," Nathan began. "We were originally planning to get our suits for Saturday-"

"That might be true, but it does not take SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS TO GET SUITS!"

"Well, you see the thing is-"

"Where else were you?"

I sighed. "Pinkie pulled one of her surprise parties at about seven-ish, when we were about to leave."

Cadence's harsh tone from before became slightly nicer. "When did you three leave?"

"About eleven-ish, but it might have been earlier had Mr. Alcoholic here not get wasted," I replied, motioning towards the drunken Tom.

"Aww, mate. You need tae see all these colours, man!"

Cadence looked quite shocked. "How much did he have?"

"Ten glasses of Sweet Apple Cider."

"No wonder he's all over the place! How did he end up drinking that much?"

"His oversized ego caused him to get into a challenge with Applejack. He lost, as you can probably tell."

"Well, let's get back into the castle. It's getting chilly out here," Cadence announced to all three of us as she began to fly back towards the castle. "And once all three of you recover from your hangovers, we'll have a discussion about this."

I looked at the other guards who were a mixture of looking concerned and holding back laughter.

Yep, we're being shouted at tomorrow.

Chapter 14 - Who's getting to Canterlot first?

What happened after that?

Well, I got Nathan to help me with the stuff. I got him to carry the suits for us, while I more or less carried ~~that idiot~~ Thomas up to his room and hung his suit up on the coat hanger. As soon as I'd done that, I took back my suit and went to my room.

The Friday was... well...

I got up feeling slightly tired, and Nathan was feeling more or less the same way. We can't say the same thing about Thomas though...

*me knocking on his door at 10 in the morning after having gotten breakfast*

"Go away."

*me knocking on the door again*

"Piss off."

*me knocking louder*

"PISS OFF, JACK or NATHAN, WHICHEVER ONE IT IS! I DON'T FEEL WELL!"

"Come on, Coupsie-" Nathan called.

"SHUT. UP."

"You need to get out of bed at some point!" I teased.

"JACK! WHICH PART OF 'FUCK OFF' DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?"

We eventually left him alone for an hour before he finally got out of his room. I would have gone over to do some more teasing about how he was feeling, like he normally would... but he was looking like Kevin the Teenager, so I decided to just steer clear of him.

I did NOT want to be throttled by Thomas.

Anyway, the only thing I can really remember from that Friday apart from that was the admonition that Cadence gave us all at dinner after she had finished court. Especially Thomas.

I think Tom wanted to talk back to Cadence, but the look on her face must've been one similar to that of Cassie, so he kept silent when she ranted about Thomas needing to be able to control himself, control his ego, control the amount he drinks...

Blah, blah, blah. Nothing I haven't told him almost a million times already.

But, with the rant over - and Thomas, while doing the best he could from recovering from his hangover, promised to behave himself - we started to arrange the transport to Canterlot.

"So, I've arranged for a chariot to come from Canterlot to come and take us all to the Castle at half past four tomorrow afternoon," Cadence explained.

"Are you all okay with that?" Shining asked.

Thomas, Nathan an I all gave each other a knowing look, with a smirk on all of our faces when turning back to face the prince and princess.

"Actually, we had a different idea," Nathan replied with a sly grin.

Shining raised his eyebrow at our behaviour. "I'm listening..."

"Well, Nathan thought that we could take the cars," I explained. "We could show these off to the various different ponies that are attending the Gala, and it will also render chariots useless."

"How so?"

"Because," Nathan replied. "If we set off at the same time, and the Gala starts at... six, was it?"

"Yeah."

"If we were able to get to Canterlot first, the cars will be seen as a much quicker and more practical alternative to chariots, but it will also save so many ponies from having to pull the same carriage."

Cadence and Shining seem to think over this for a second. After a few seconds of thinking, and a nod to themselves, Shining answered. "Alright, but as long as you don't pull any stupid stunts."

"We won't," Thomas and I replied back.

"We'll try not to," Nathan replied.

A nudge from me was enough to change his answer.

"I mean... we won't."

"Good."

We discussed various things about the Gala, or more specifically about who was attending.

"So, who's all going that we know?" I asked Shining. "I mean, I know about Pinkie Pie, as I asked her about it and she said she was coming, and all four of the princesses and you will be there, but you know of anyone else?"

"Well, I heard all of Twilight's friends were coming, and Fluttershy was bringing one of her other friends with her, but apart from that, I don't know."

"Well, my brother's coming, as he does every year," Cadence groaned.

Thomas, Nathan and I all looked at each other, and all of us shrugged our shoulders in confusion.

"Sorry, your brother?" I asked with a cocked eyebrow. "I don't remember you mentioning him."

"Oh, right," Cadence replied. "I have an extremely rude, obnoxious and self-absorbed older brother. His name's Prince Blueblood. He's so annoying; he literally complains and whines whenever he doesn't get his way and treats others like dirt all the time. Sometimes when I see the way he acts towards even the guards... if we both weren't royalty, I'd have slapped him."

"Ouch, he sounds like someone to avoid," I commented. "Anyone else you know coming?"

"Well, Auntie Celestia has told me she's inviting Discord as well."

"Discord?"

"He's a draconequus, you may have seen him in Ponyville."

I just looked at her, my face probably showing my confusion.

"Sorry, you've lost me there. What's a draconequus?"

"It's a weird sort of creature with a pony's head and a body of various other animals, but most of that belongs to a dragon."

"Right. Okay..." I replied, still not quite getting what she was meaning. "What's he like?"

"He's..."

"Am I right in making the assumption that chaos has something to do with his personality?" Nathan asked.

Cadence and Shining looked stupefied; almost as if they were shocked to the core at Nathan's assumption.

"How did you know?"

"I didn't," Nathan admitted. "I guessed from the name and from the way you said he looks. I mean, if you think about it... Discord? Dis-coordination?"

Both Cadence and Shining had their mouths in the shape of an 'o'.

"Well, yeah, he does," Cadence replied. "He was once an enemy of Equestria, over a thousand years ago, by ruling the land in uncertainty and chaos. That is, until my aunts defeated him by using the Elements of Harmony and turned him into stone."

"Yeah, that makes sense - fighting fire with sand in that asp-" I began, before my mind went back on something else. "Hold on. HOW LONG AGO??"

"A thousand years ago, give or take a decade. Why?"

I looked away. I replied to Cadence's question with: "Oh, no reason."

What I was actually thinking was: Winged unicorn sisters, who have the power to raise the sun and moon and have lived for over a thousand years. I really have seen everything.

Wonder if Celestia has sent Luna to the Moon, or vice versa?

"But, he came back?" Thomas asked.

"Yeah, the spell broke when Celestia and Luna were no longer connected to the Elements, but instead to Twilight and her friends. They sent Discord back into stone again."

I burst out laughing, and Thomas did the same.

"Is something funny?" Shining asked.

I stopped laughing after a while. "Oh, I actually kind of feel bad for him. Being stuck in stone as a statue is humiliating enough, but being stuck in stone more than once... he was either unlucky, bad at being a villain, or was so cocky and sure of himself that he never paid any attention."

"Yeah," Shining laughed. "Twilight does say that he's always a bit sure of himself. He was even so sure wouldn't be reformed when they unfroze him."

"So, no waiting another thousand years?" Thomas joked.

"No."

Cadence continued. "His only real friend after he was reformed was Fluttershy, as she was really kind to him and didn't get all riled up and act aggressive like the others, especially Rainbow Dash, did. He never really trusted the others, and they never really trusted him."

"Oh."

We discussed the issue some more, learning that Twilight was setting up the Gala so Celestia could enjoy herself and relax at the Gala for once, instead of having to organise it. I couldn't help but think at the time that because Princess Celestia invited this Discord to the party, this would go completely down the drain.

I mean, I would be proven right later on, but who was I to judge?

Anyway, that's all I can really remember from that day. We talked for a bit more, and then I went back to my room to rest.

The next day, I went did the usual and went to work at the bar again, even though the regular guy that was off sick was back in business. The manager didn't mind, right enough. He said he would take as many hooves - or hands, in my case - as he could get.

I told him that I could only do the up until three at the latest, but he was OK with that as well. Especially when he found out that I was going to the Gala. Judging from his reaction, I guessed it was a big thing to go to the Gala.

Anyway, for most of the time it was quiet, so I got moving stuff around again, like I had the first couple of days I had worked there. Not many customers came in, but when they did, they never sat in there for more than ten minutes anyway.

At around ten past three, Nathan came in to get me. I asked the manager if it was OK for me to go, which he said was alright. He got me my pay and told me to have fun at the Gala as I left.

Much more calm and relaxed than my old boss, that's for certain.

When I got into the castle I went up to my room and put on my suit extremely carefully. You see, I have a bit of OCD when it comes to wearing smart clothing. Everything has to look just perfect... that's why I spent half an hour looking at the mirror and ironing out any minor details that looked off.

If you think that's bad, you should have seen me for my second job interview, after the branch of company I worked before closed its doors...

After deciding I looked OK, I went out and was greeted by the other four.

"You finally ready to go?" Nathan asked in an unimpressed tone.

"Yes, I am."

Walking out of the castle, Cadence and Shining were escorted by members of their guard to the chariot that was waiting for them just down the road. They each gave us a map of Equestria to read, since I highly doubt GPS tracking won't work here.

"See you there," Nathan shouted as we walked down the opposite way to the old chariot depot.

"Yeah, we will. We'll wait on your arrival," Shining replied in an equally loud tone as he shut the door.

"Cheeky bastard," I muttered.

As we continued to the depot, I looked behind and saw the chariot already lifting off. I wasn't worried, however: I guessed that the chariot's maximum speed would be no more than 90 miles an hour, and we had cars that, with the right tuning, could do double that.

Eventually after two minutes of walking, we arrived at the depot. This time, Thomas and Nathan ACTUALLY HELPED ME open the doors. Still took a fair bit of effort, but whatever.

"You know, I'm not entirely sure of what the Canterlot nobles will think of the cars," Nathan said suddenly.

"Well, you never know," I replied, putting a smirk on my face. "We could always go three quarters of the way to Canterlot and then the portal opens again and sends us back onto the M8 - and immediately into the front of a lorry."

Nathan and Thomas both laughed.

"That's possible, but highly unlikely."

"Just as unlikely as it was to come here?"

"...touché."

And so we got in our cars, fired up our V8 engines (or V6, in Thomas' case) and drove back out the lot again. Thomas and Nathan turned left on the way out from the garage, where as I turned right, and after that, we all went our separate ways.

There was three distinct routes to Canterlot from the Crystal Empire, but only two were viable: the first option you could try was following the train line - which was the route Thomas and I took. It wasn't the most direct route, but it was quiet most of the way, and the road from that way was smooth for a mountain road.

Stupidly, Nathan went for the second option: it was the most direct route there, but it involved traversing some parts of the Crystal Mountains, and the road to Canterlot from that side was extremely steep... I reckon a 20% incline or more. It didn't exactly help that Nathan's M3 was rear wheel drive, either.

After about twenty minutes of driving, Thomas was about a mile behind me, and we were a third of the way to Canterlot already. We were coming up to the Galloping Gorge when we could just make out Cadence and Shining Armor's chariot. They had already flown over the Crystal Mountains by the time we left the city, so if we could see them now, we were catching them.

I therefore decided to give it a bit more welly and shifted up to fifth gear. The revs just kept climbing, as did the speedometer... and before we knew it (actually a time frame of 15 minutes), we could see Ponyville. We didn't actually go into the town, because the train line went a separate way, but there was a train leaving at that point, so I wouldn't have been surprised if the Mane Six were on it.

Eventually, it came to the point where I was about to go into the tunnel that took us up the road. I had to drive over the train tracks to get onto the other side, but the only thing that really paid the price for the bump was my spine.

If ponies do end up making cars that can also suit humans, then I swear that the next car I get should have the ride of a Rolls Royce.

Traversing the tunnel was a bit boring. Just turning the steering wheel in the same direction for another twenty minutes will do that to you. I swore could hear the sound of the V6 from Thomas' S4 catch up to me, but that might have to do with the S4's all-wheel-drive system having more traction.

Eventually, after said twenty minutes of more or less boredom, I drove out from the tunnel and was amazed by the sight of the city. While it didn't have the whole crystal effect that made the Crystal Empire stand out, it was still an impressive sight to behold. It wasn't as large as, say, Glasgow, but the architecture made it look a lot cleaner. This was a much nicer looking city than any I'd ever seen before.

There was one thing I didn't like, however: the layout of the city. Its layout was really confusing as I analysed the roads. As I looked at the buildings, the length of blocks of buildings was inconsistent and there were roads that didn't seem to lead to anywhere. There was also no straight road to the castle; in short, navigating the city, unless you were a resident, was a minefield.

Eventually, Coupsie came out of the tunnel as well, and had a similar reaction to myself: impressed at the looks of the city, but confused at the somewhat awkward layout. I winded down my window as he pulled up besides me.

"Alright, mate," I called out to him.

"Alright."

"How about you turn left and I turn right from here, and see how that goes?"

"Okay, go for it."

And so I put my foot on the accelerator, driving down the road and turning right at the 90 degree bend to the right, whilst Tom did the exact opposite. After this, I opened the map to the map of Canterlot, and as I feared, it was as complex as a computer game's code is to a five year old.

I tried to make some attempts to navigate the city, but the first attempt led me to a road that wasn't wide enough to fit the car. And I thought London was bad!

The second one got me into a dead end, and reversing out of the spot I was at was a nightmare. At that point, I felt like having a Seat Mii would be much more useful.

Eventually I saw the castle and came to a gate that had these white guard ponies in golden armour standing at attention, so I guessed I was finally here. As I drove closer, the guards' attention turned to my Merc... and almost immediately did their mouths open and eyes widen at the sight of it.

As I got closer, I slowed down to a halt and winded down the window to speak with the guards. "Hi there. I'm here for the Grand Galloping Gala," I spoke calmly to them, whilst showing the one who I assumed was the higher rank my ticket. "What shall I do for parking?"

The guard didn't know what to say at first, which I suppose for what he was seeing, I could understand. He gradually composed himself. "Certainly, Sir. If you take your..."

"Car."

"...car, up that road there, and keep it in a spot while going left."

"Thank you," I replied, winding the window back up. I then gradually drove up the road and parked in an appropriate spot, as the guard had previously instructed, with me getting stares and gawks in the process.

As soon as I got out of the car, I shut the door and started looking around. At no point through any of this did I see Thomas, Nathan, Cadence or Shining, as I did a full 360 degree turn to see if I recognised anyone. At that point, that only meant one thing.

I was first.

I even did some stupid victory dance as I had realised I had won.

No, don't ask me to repeat it. It was stupid enough at the time.

"Right," I said to myself as I leaned against the car. "Coupsie or Captain Sense of Direction... which one's going to arrive next?"

The answer came seconds later in the form of a recognisable red Audi.

I laughed to myself as the Audi drove over to the empty space just behind my car. As Tom got out of his car, I gave him the typical 'L' sign. He didn't even react to it though, which was a disappointment.

"You don't even care, do you?" I asked, still doing the 'loser' gesture.

"No... are Cadence and Shining here?" he asked.

"Nope."

"Yes!" he replied back in a mixture of smugness and happiness.

It took Nathan a few minutes to arrive; during this time, we decided to play a game of blackjack. It was something to do and my phone was only at thirty five percent battery, and I wanted to save that just so the nobles could see if they asked for it.

We got to our third draw, with the score two nil to Tom, when we heard the unmistakable sound of a V8 engine, and thus, saw the blue M3 pull up behind Tom's car.

"Ah, so you showed up, finally?" I asked rhetorically. "Mr. Most Direct Route Will Be The Quickest."

"How was I supposed to know that road was that steep?" he answered in an exasperated tone. "And besides, I still beat Cadence and Shining Armor, right?"

"Yes," I replied, with a familiar object in the sky now coming into view. I pointed at the chariot. "But only just."

Nathan and Thomas also turned to the chariot, which was now just coming in to land.

"So going up the steepest hill I've ever driven up and I still managed to beat a flying chariot?"

"Suppose."

As the passengers got out of the chariot, they tipped the drivers/chauffeurs/pilots/whatever for taking them here. As the chariot flew off again they looked around the place... and Shining was a bit disappointed to see all three of us there before hi. I walked over to meet him.

"I thought you said you'd 'wait on our arrival'?" I mocked.

"No, I didn't. I said I'd see you there," Shining shot back.

"Did you," I said in a sarcastic tone.

"Anyway," Cadence interrupted, in order to stop a bit of an argument breaking out. "Shall we head inside?"

"Yeah, let's go," Thomas replied.

And so we walked up the steps, all the while Thomas, Nathan and I were getting stares from various different ponies. At the time, I was beginning to feel rather nervous.

Okay, Jack. You're about to meet with the most important ponies in Equestria, and you need to set a good first impression to them.

DON'T. FUCK. THIS. UP.

Chapter 15 - The Gala Part 1

So I was walking up the steps to the castle, albeit trying to hide my nerves, as ponies were looking at our general direction. As we went further up the steps and closer to the entrance, I could see these ponies who were standing there with what looked like trumpets or some other form of brass instruments. These ponies tensed up at the sight of Cadence and Shining, and started to play the instruments.

After they had stopped their announcement tune, the pony on the left (as we came in) spoke. "Fillies and Gentlecolts, please welcome the monarchs of the Crystal Empire, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza-"

"Princess Cadence is OK," Cadence interrupted.

"Very well, your highness. Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor, and their guests, the first humans in Equestria; Messers Thomas Cooper, Nathan Lang and Jack Luss!"

As this was said, Cadence and Shining stepped forward, waving regally as ponies cheered and bowed in respect to them.

"Thank you, everypony," Cadence said happily. "It's a pleasure to be here tonight."

"Yeah, we're glad we could make it," Shining added, looking back at us and smirking. "And I'm sure our guests here will agree."

Gee, thanks for putting us on the spot, Shining.

"Yeah," Thomas spoke out, looking up at the various ponies on the steps (who had all risen from bowing by now), particularly Princess Celestia and Twilight. "It's an honour to be here, very different to the events we normally go to. We have to thank Princess Celestia for inviting us."

"Not a problem, Thomas," Celestia called down to us. "It's a pleasure to see you three again."

"Thank you."

After that, we proceeded up the stairs and met with Celestia.

"So, how have you three been settling in?" Celestia asked.

"Good so far," Nathan replied.

"There's not been any major issues so far, has there?"

"Well," Cadence cut off Nathan, and all three prepared ourselves, as we had a pretty good idea of what Cadence was going to tell her aunt. "There was one issue at a surprise party that Pinkie Pie threw a couple of days ago."

"Yes, Pinkie was telling Twilight and myself about it. What happened?"

"Well," I replied, ignoring Thomas' fake coughing. "Thomas managed to get himself drunk. Like, really really drunk."

"Did he?"

"Princess," Thomas interrupted, in an effort to make himself look better. "I don't normally do things like that."

"That's naw what I heard from the folks around the corner when you went to Easterhouse," Nathan commented as the next guest came in.

Thomas' eyes went as wide as the universe itself. "Shut up, Nathan, ya bloody tool! At least I went out with my mates after school instead of being a wee asocial rocket!"

"I DID go out with my mates after school as well! Just cause I wisnae hanging wae the nuggets you call mates!"

"Naw all of ma friends were nuggets, ya numpty!"

At this point, I just facepalmed and ignored the conversation at hand. Instead, I looked up at Twilight and Celestia. The former was kind of annoyed, and was giving me this look that was saying something along the lines of 'can you get them to stop, please'. The latter, however, wasn't unhappy in the slightest; if anything, she actually found the situation of two Scots arguing somewhat amusing.

This argument could literally have gone on forever, but it was interrupted when a snobbish voice could be heard.

"What are those FOUL creatures doing here?"

We all turned to the bottom of the stairs to see a white coated unicorn, with blonde mane and tail and wearing what I guessed was a pony equivalent of a suit.

Forty bits says that guy is-

"Blueblood? Is something the matter?" Celestia said in a diplomatic tone of voice.

"I'm just wondering what those foul creatures are doing here at the castle!" Blueblood shouted up to us.

"Well, we're-" Thomas began, but was quickly cut off by Blueblood again.

"Silence, you ape!"

Gasps could be heard all around from various ponies, with a few harsh glares going Blueblood's way.

"What is your problem, Blueblood?" Cadence snapped angrily. "Why can't you just stop being narcissistic for one night?"

"I am just voicing my opinion for keeping the royal family's reputation intact. And I personally believe that it would be best to not be seen with these creatures!"

"You are aware that they DO have names?" Rarity interrupted.

"Silence, you filthy commoner! You're lucky I didn't have you put in the dungeons the last time we met for ruining my coat!"

At this comment, and due to the fact that Rarity looked a little hurt by this statement, I stepped in. Albeit, now that I look back on it, I probably went a bit too far.

"Is that how you speak to everybody who isn't a prince or princess, ya fucking knob?"

The gasps from the assembled ponies may possibly have sucked all the oxygen from the room, and the nearby areas to boot.

"What did you just say to me, you APE?!"

"You heard me," I replied, unfazed whatsoever by the 'ape' and 'creature' comments.

"Don't you know who I am?" he asked, increasing the volume in his voice. "Do you know WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO?!"

"Prince Blueblood, prince of Equestria. Yeah, I know. That doesn't make anything different. Here's some advice for you," I said calmly, leaning down to his eye level.

"Where I come from, respect is earned, not given away like a bloody token. I won't respect you when you go out of your way to make all of these snarky comments at ponies who haven't done anything wrong, or say something that irks you and is inconvenient to you. I won't respect you when you speak about us as if were not even here, either, and, quite frankly, I don't think anyone else would."

Blueblood was stunned into silence, as was everypony else.

"Now, if you've stopped with your petty little insults and your threats of throwing people into the dungeons, which I frankly think is hot air anyway, I'd like you to take your measly hide elsewhere and stop ruining this night for everybody else!"

There was a few tense seconds of silence, as nobody in the room whatsoever - not even the princesses - even whispered a word. Anger clearly flashed in his eyes, which may have been an indication that I had messed up. Eventually, the snob turned his back on me and spoke.

"Fine. But this is not over you foul creature! We will meet again!" he shouted as he walked off in the direction of the main hall.

"I'm SO looking forward to it," I replied sarcastically as he slammed the doors behind him.

I turned around to see a stunned Thomas, Nathan, Celestia, Cadence, Luna (who I was not aware of coming in), Twilight and the rest of the Mane Six. All of who were looking at me as if they were seeing a nebula.

"Too far?" I asked with a sheepish grin.

"Perhaps maybe a little, but don't worry about it too much," Celestia replied, being the first to come back to her senses, with the others following suit shortly after. "His attitude was beginning to annoy me as well, but you can always apologise if you feel guilty."

"I'll keep that in mind."

With that whole situation out of the way, the party returned to normal. After this I met the three Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were quite enthusiastic about their cutie marks and asked us to help them in getting them. I replied that I wouldn't even know where to begin because humans can't get cutie marks. They were initially disappointed, but once I explained the reasoning, they understood.

Eventually, the group split, with Cadence and Shining going somewhere else in the castle (which I forgot to mention was MASSIVE), Celestia and Twilight staying at the top of the steps, while Thomas, Nathan, myself, Applejack and Rainbow Dash were hanging around on the bottom floor discussing things that had happened recently.

Just then, the trumpets blew again, and everybody turned to the door again.

"Announcing the spirit of chaos, Discord, and his guest, the, uh..." the pony began, but stopped short, for some reason.

Then this weird creature, that was basically a mix of a dragon and all sorts of other things put into one animal, popped his head over and whispered something into the announcer's ear. This was the Discord that I was told about, or at least I assumed it was.

"...The Smooze!" the announcer finished.

Just then, Discord walked in wearing this orange suit, which, if I'm honest, made him look even more ridiculous than he already was. I mean, I don't care for the fact he was taller than me, or anybody else for that matter... I would have mocked him for it all day, and I had plenty of material.

That wasn't what everyone was concerned about, however. I was more to do with this "Smooze".

What was it?

Well, put simply, do you remember watching the first Ghostbusters and seeing that stupid looking green slime monster thingy-ma-jig? If so, it was kind of like that, except it only had a mouth. Which created a freaky smile upon its entrance. I could hear gasps all around at the sight of this slime thing.

But I didn't dwell on this too much because...

"Good evening, everypony!" he called out to everyone in the hall. "What a glorious affair!"

No. Fucking. Way. He sounds kind of like John De Lancie!

The Smooze decided, for some reason, to grab one of the trumpets from the announcers with his mouth and eat it.

That's disgusting, I thought to myself.

I decided to nudge Nathan. "Listen to him talk again, take his personality into account and see who he reminds you of."

He looked back at me with a raised eyebrow, but did not object. "Okay."

"He does have a yen for shiny things, the rascal," he explained before putting his arm round him, and getting his hand stuck in the goo, before wiping it off on the other announcer's chest.

I turned back to Nathan, whose expression was similar to that of when I heard him speak for the first time. "See what I mean?"

Nathan stood there with his half-shocked, half-happy face for a few seconds before he started to snicker.

"He's a bit like Q from Star Trek!" he exclaimed, before bursting into laughter, with Thomas following suit seconds later, all the while AJ and Rainbow were confused as to what we were laughing at, and just walked off.

As Discord was walking up the red carpet, Twilight flew over to Discord and separated him from the Smooze thing. I was just close enough to hear the conversation that occurred between them.

"What are you doing here with...that?!" Twilight whispered in a quiet tone to Discord.

"Now, now, now," Discord replied in a not-as-quiet-voice. "The Smooze may be an "it", but it's an it with a heart of, well, blob."

Both looked on to the Smooze, who had now gone to chasing ponies, in particular Lyra and another mare, but darker green than Lyra, with Celestia watching on in shock. Twilight flew in front of Discord, with an negative look on her face.

"This night is extremely important to me, Discord," she stressed, before turning back to Celestia and waving again to her with a forced smile, before turning her eye back to Discord. "Keep it under control."

Discord just seemed to ignore this. I think it's just his attitude. "Yes, yes, yes, of course," he said before walking away. "Tell me, have you seen Fluttershy anywhere?"

After that, Nathan, Thomas and I decided to split up and go our own way. Thomas went looking for the buffet (imagine my shock), whilst Nathan and I went off to the VIP section.

As we did so, a posh voice could be heard. "Excuse me?"

Both of us turned to see two white unicorns; one was a mare with pink mane and tail which had several fleurs-de-lis in them and looked very similar to Luna in shape and size. The other was a blue/grey maned stallion who was wearing a suit and had a moustache. In addition to this, he was wearing a monocle.

Don't laugh, Jack. Don't laugh.

"Yes?" Nathan asked politely. "Is something the matter?"

"No, not at all," he replied, the mare shaking her head in agreement. The stallion stuck out his right hoof. "I just thought to introduce myself. My name's Fancy Pants-"

DO NOT FUCKING LAUGH, JACK!

"-but just Fancy's fine as well, and this here is my marefriend, Fleur Dis Lee."

"A pleasure," I replied, taking his hoof and shaking it. "Jack Luss."

"I know. I've heard a lot about you in the papers."

"You have?" I asked, slightly apprehensive that he may have been reading the Canterlot Chronicle.

"Oh, yes," he replied. "All about you and your arrival in Equestria. Most of the papers were quite positive or fairly neutral about you, but there was one paper that was clearly biased against you."

"The Canterlot Chronicle," Nathan answered.

"Yes. How did you know?"

"Well, we read that article about us a couple of days ago."

"I suspect that the owner of the paper, who's a member of the royal family, of all ponies, was biased against you three. Speaking of which, where's the other one?"

"Oh, Thomas is away to stuff his face at the buffet," Nathan answered. "He is nuts when there's a lot of food on offer."

"Ah, I see."

"Would I be right in assuming that this member of the royal family that you were speaking of is Prince Blueblood?" I asked.

"Yes, it is," he replied, raising his eyebrow at my correct answer. "How did you guess?"

I sighed before answering. "His reputation proceeds him."

"What do you mean?"

"Princess Cadence told us about him yesterday," I replied. “I thought at first she was exaggerating, but we met him earlier and we found out the hard way that she wasn't.”

“What happened?”

“Well, he made a few comments about us, and when Rarity got involved, he started to talk to her in a condescending manner.”

“Oh, no, that doesn't sound very pleasant. And I know her personally as well.”

“You do?”

“I bumped into her a few years ago here, in Canterlot, and we’ve become good friends ever since.”

“Yeah, well, if there's one thing I can't stand, it's people being cheeky or condescending. I was irritated by his attitude so I gave him a lecture in front of everypony about respect.”

“That takes some courage to do,” Fancy commented. “He didn't take kindly to that, did he?”

“No he didn't, but surprisingly, neither Princess Celestia or Luna, or Cadence for that matter, said anything about it.”

“I see,” he commented. “Anyway, I saw rumours circling the papers that you have these chariot-like vehicles that propel themselves. Is that right?”

“Yeah,” I answered. “They're called cars. We have them here, actually. If you want to see them, I'll be more than happy to show you.”

“I will do,” Fancy replied. “I was also wondering if you would like to meet with some of my associates.”

“Sounds good to me. What about you, Nathan?”

“Sure,” he replied.

“Splendid.”

And with that, we walked off with Fancy and Fleur, and walked over to an area in the VIP section where several ponies were talking amongst themselves.

Even after all these years, I will never truly understand why they were taking to each other with their eyes closed. Or why they talk with their eyes closed in the first place.

Fancy approached the group, all of whom stopped talking as they saw him approach. After they had all stopped, Fancy spoke.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts, may I introduce you all to Jack Luss and Nathan Lang. Jack, Nathan, meet some of my fellow associates."

Fancy then listed all of those present one by one: this included Media Frenzy, who owned shares in various newspapers and magazines, Jet Set and his wife, Upper Crust, who had some connection with various businesses across Equestria, from confectioneries to a new oil company that had been set up, and Sonic Blaze, who told me he was inspired by the rumours of our cars, and was inspired to make his own.

Him and I became really good friends, but that's besides the point.

We all shook hands (or hooves) and started to discuss our world and what it was like to live there. Jet Set actually had this "I superior to you" look on his face as I explained that Glasgow is now a shadow of its former self, but one glare from Fancy Pants was more than enough to shut him up.

While we started to discuss the cars, Sonic spoke up. "Jack?"

"Yes, Mr. Blaze?"

"Just Sonic's fine," he said. "But I was just going to ask a question. Would it be possible for you three and I to do a business venture together with making cars?"

I paused for a second, initially unsure of how to answer this. "Err... I'm not sure. While it would be a good idea, I'm just not sure we should try and make a car based on this. Especially if there IS a way back, and word gets to any of the car manufacturers... let's just say lawsuits WILL be involved.

"There's other complications which I won't go into at the moment, but if we would work around those, then I don't see why not."

"That makes sense," he replied. "But you would say yes if these issues could be avoided?"

"Yes."

"What are these issues that you're talking about?"

"There's quite a few," Nathan replied. "But they're all very complex, and it would probably be for the better if we discussed them at a later date. We could talk about it whenever you have spare time?"

"How about next Wednesday?"

"Sounds good," Nathan replied. "What about you, Jack?"

"Sure, we'll need to tell Thomas about it. Speaking of which, where is he?"

"He went off to the buffet, remember?"

"Aye, I know he likes food, but he usually doesn't spend 20 minutes trying to get something to eat!"

Nathan turned back to the group of ponies. "Sorry, could you excuse us for a while? We just need to find our other friend and make sure he doesn't keep all the food for himself."

Fancy laughed. "No, I don't mind. Just make sure there's some for the rest of us!"

And with that, Nathan and I set off again to find Thomas, and hopefully stop him from hoarding all the cakes/other items of food to himself.

Pretty soon, though, we found out food wasn't the only reason he was taking so long, which became apparent as we went to the main hall and saw Celestia and Twilight talking, while Discord, Fluttershy and some other green Earth pony mare were having this ~~argument~~ intense conversation with each other, particularly Discord and the other pony, who gave off this idea that she was interested in animals and nature in general.

Would be hilarious if her name was Tree Hugger, I thought to myself.

Everything was interrupted when I heard a somewhat familiar voice scream from behind one of the doors.

"LET ME IN!"

What the bloody hell's going on now?

Author's Note

Next chapter might take a little longer to get out, as I plan to make it longer than this one.

Chapter 16 - The Gala Part 2

With this shouting from a somewhat familiar voice behind the door, Twilight ran over to the door as fast as her four hooves would let her, using her magic to open a door that was locked with a key... that was for some reason still inside the lock.

Good job, whoever that was.

What was on the other side of the door was something you should only find in Equestria.

Bursting into the main hall was a slime-covered Rarity, whose attire was... not as elegant as before. Her hair and dress had slime on them, and her hair was slightly out of place.

But that was nothing compared to her actual reaction...

Rarity panted as she took literally ONLY THREE steps before collapsing onto the floor as if she'd been shot, some of the slime bursting as she did so. She then pointed behind her with an exasperated sigh and shouted. "That creature took my jewels!!"

If you haven't guessed by now, she's a bit of a drama queen.

And, sure enough, as I suspected, that Smooze thing was terrorising everyone, with it stealing any gems/jewels/other shiny items from the ponies outside, and growing in the process. Meanwhile, Thomas was out there as well, too busy stuffing his fat arse with cupcakes to notice that he had a massive blob of slime sliding down his back.

Observant as always.

Twilight looked back to Discord, and boy was she a happy bunny in that moment of time!

(That was sarcasm, if you couldn't tell)

"Discord!" she said in an angry tone of voice, walking over to him. "I thought I told you to keep your friend under control!"

"Oh, please," Discord replied in a tone of voice that was so condescending and so irritating that if I were Twilight, I would have throttled him right there and then, in front of everyone. "I have better things to do than to watch that thing all night."

He then turned away to look at the green pony and Fluttershy again, and although I couldn't see what their facial expressions were from where I was standing, I had a pretty good idea over what kind of looks they were giving him, judging from the nervous laughter a few seconds later.

"What I mean to say is, that thing is a dear, dear friend, and I'll make sure that the ooze, uh, that he can't help but secrete doesn't get on anypony else."

Discord then did this teleportation thing I've been told about, and stood right next to Rarity, who had since gotten herself up and was trying to brush off. Well, she was, until Discord started to fire up a hoover.

OK, then. VACUUM CLEANER. You happy now?

Rarity was now somewhat surprised, but even more so when Discord quite literally sucked all of her clothes off. This even pulled her into the air for a little bit. After this, Rarity was basically what she looked like the first time we had met her, but with some strands of her mane a bit out of place.

Which she was not best pleased about.

She then walked away, doing the whole 'cover up your privates' thing as she did so. Which was odd for some reason, as most ponies don't wear clothes all the time, even Rarity doesn't usually have a problem with it.

Was it the increased pressure of the whole 'most prestigious party' thing? I don't know.

What I do know is that Nathan and I got a barrel of laughs at seeing this.

"Thank you," Twilight said, glad that the problem had been dealt with. "It's alright, everypony. Let's just get back to enjoying this magical evening!"

And so, all the party goers returned to whatever they were doing before.

Well, all the ones that were actually distracted in the first place.

"Coupsie!"

Thomas turned around, still stuffing his face. "What?"

"Come on," I said, walking over to him. "Get away from the cupcakes."

"Naw, at's naw fair!"

"You've had enough to gie yourself every type of diabetes that exists," Nathan replied, assisting me in pulling Thomas away from those cupcakes... but not before he had one himself. "Come on, let other people at least have one."

"Aww."

And so we dragged him back in, shutting the door behind us so he couldn't just come back and get more. Nathan then rubbed all of the ooze off of Thomas' back, showing the chunk to a confused Thomas. "That's how awake you are mentally, not even noticing this blob of slime on your back!"

At the same time however, I saw Discord pulling the Smooze away from everybody else with some form of leash. He was giving him some form of reprimanding, but over what exactly, I couldn't tell. He yanked him into this small room and pushed him inside, saying something along the lines of "I'll be back when the Gala is over".

I felt another hoof tap me on the back, and so I turned around, expecting to find one of the Mane Six, but instead, found somepony else.

In front of me were three pegasi in blue and bright yellow Spandex-like flight suits: two of them were mares, the other one a stallion.

The one that really caught my attention was the one who had tapped me, standing in the middle of the group. She had a fiery like mane, more bright orange in the middle and having a darker orange more akin to the General Lee's body colour on the outside. (Before you ask, yes, I'm talking about the car.)

Out of the holes that were for her eyes, muzzle, ears and wings, you could see her coat was a slightly darker than the yellow on the flight suits, more akin to brilliant gold.

The other mare was similar in shape and build to the yellow one, albeit her coat was a bluish-green and her mane was a brilliant white instead. The stallion was different. He was certainly more muscular than the two mares, although personally I don't think he was stronger than Shining Armor. His mane and tail were of a dark blue, and his fur was like a grey-ish light blue, if that makes sense.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, we're alright. I'd just thought we'd introduce ourselves," the one in the middle replied, and pointed to each of them as she continued explaining. "I'm Spitfire, Captain of the Wonderbolts Aerobatics Team. This here's Soarin, second-in-command of the Wonderbolts, and this is Fleetfoot, third-in-command. I take it you're those three humans the whole of Equestria's been talking about?"

"Yep," Nathan replied. "I'm Nathan, he's Jack and he's Thomas. But you probably already know that, from the attention we've been getting from the media."

"Yeah, I've seen you three in every paper I could find," Soarin replied.

"Anyway, I just came over to see if you were attending the Wonderbolts' Gala Showcase tomorrow?" Spitfire asked. "It's part of the VIP All Areas Ticket, and I guessed you all had one as I saw you all in the VIP Area with Fancy Pants earlier."

"Oh... it is?" I replied.

"Yeah," she replied, looking concerned about us not realising that we were able to go. "Were you not told about that?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Ah, I see. I take it you won't be going then?"

"Probably not," Thomas replied. "I mean, we would like to, but accommodation-wise, I don't know whether that is going to be possible or not."

"Yeah, I like seeing aerobatic stuff," Nathan added. "My first time seeing the Red Arrows convinced me of that, but I don't think we could do that without spending the night somewhere. And I am NOT sleeping in the CAR."

"Yeah, 'cause then you'd have to go through a whole can of deodorant just to smell somewhat acceptable."

"I'm not that bad, Jack. Get real."

There was laughter heard from all six of us, Nathan not taking my comment too seriously (even though it's true), and the Wonderbolts weren't grossed out.

"I do have one question, though," Fleetfoot said once she'd stopped laughing.

"Then go ahead."

"What's the Red Arrows?"

"They're an aerobatic team, like yourselves. Specifically, they're the RAF - which is our air force - 's aerobatic team. But whereas you fly by yourself, humans don't have wings... as you can probably tell."

"So, how do they fly, then?" Spitfire asked, furrowing her eyebrows at this, obviously not knowing what planes are.

"Well, some people a while ago invented these machines that we can fly manually called aeroplanes. There's lots of different types, but the Red Arrows use a modified version of one of the most agile ones out there."

"Are they any good?"

"Oh, yes. Went to see them once at the Scottish Air Show, and I'll never forget it."

"Jack!"

We all turned to the source of the voice to see Cadence walking towards us. The Wonderbolts all bowed in respect to the princess, and we all did the same.

"Hello, Princess. What can I do for you?" I asked.

"I just thought to inform you that Princess Celestia has organised rooms for you to stay in for the night."

"Oh," Nathan said. "So that means we can go to the Wonderbolts' display tomorrow!"

"Yes, I had forgotten to mention the Wonderbolts' Showcase," Cadence replied sheepishly, with a matching smile to boot.

"Eh, that's alright, don't worry about it."

"Thank you. While it's been a pleasure to see you all again, I have other guests to see. Farewell for now," Cadence said before turning back and walking out of the room again.

"So, it looks like you can attend after all," Soarin continued.

"Certainly looks like it."

"So we can expect to see you there?" Spitfire asked. I dismissed this at the time, but Spitfire had her eyes on Nathan, almost as if she was checking him out in a discreet manner.

"You bet," Thomas replied.

"That's great, we'll let the other 'Bolts know as well," Fleetfoot responded.

"Well, as nice as it was to meet you, we better go back to the rest of the 'Bolts," Spitfire announced, a small yawn slightly noticeable. "We'll need to rest early to get some sleep before early morning practice."

Fleetfoot and Soarin groaned in displeasure.

"Come on, you two. You've been in the Wonderbolts long enough to know that this kind of thing happens all the time."

"I know that, I just wish we got breaks more often," Fleetfoot sighed.

"We do. They're called weekends."

"Since when is starting an hour later a 'break'?"

"Fleety!" Soarin interrupted, gaining Fleetfoot's attention. He took a couple of steps towards Fleetfoot, resting his head next to hers's and rubbed his cheek against hers. "It's not worth it. Let's just get back to the others."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Well, we're going to go back to the other Wonderbolts."

"Sure, see you tomorrow then," Nathan replied.

"See you later, handsome," Spitfire replied somewhat suggestively, smirking at Nathan as she did so. What she did after this really surprised me. As she turned round to walk with her fellow team members, she made the discreet effort to 'accidentally' brush her fiery mane against Nathan's leg.

After a few steps of walking away with Fleetfoot and Soarin, she tilted her head for a few seconds in a way that her left eye was looking directly looking at Nathan, smirking all the time. In addition to this, Spitfire was deliberately swishing her tail from side to side - with Nathan staring all the time, with a slight blush on his cheeks.

Something that wasn't lost on either Thomas or myself.

As soon as Spitfire was out of earshot... we laughed.

Like, a lot.

Nathan was too caught up in his staring trance to say anything.

"Oh, mate... we haven't even been here for a whole week!" Thomas laughed. "And you're already getting hit on by a pony!"

"Captain of an aerobatics team, no less," I commented with a laugh.

"I..." Nathan began to stutter. "I don't know what's worse actually... The fact that I've been hit on by a pony, or the fact that I couldn't get into a relationship on Earth, but I get hit on here, in a place where humans have never existed!"

"Well-"

At this point, the hall's lights cut out. At the time, we weren't sure as to why this was happening, and neither did the ponies around us, if the gasps were anything to go by.

"What the hell's going on NOW?" Thomas whispered.

His question was answered when the sound of a microphone was heard, making all the ponies (and humans) in the room look towards a stage that was very quickly set up.

"Check, check, check. Is this thing on?"

Thomas rolled his eyes. "Here we go again, another disaster waiting to happen."

I ignored him and looked back towards the stage.

"Good evening, fillies and germs!" Discord's voice rang out, as he began his... stand up comedy routine. "I just flew into Canterlot, and wow, are my interspecies parts tired!"

A rimshot rang out, but nobody made a noise. No laughing, no booing, no whispers of 'What's the joke?'... nothing.

Except for us, that was - well, Nathan and Thomas anyway.

"What the hell is he doing now?" Thomas whispered.

"I don't know," Nathan replied. "But if that's meant tae be a joke, it's not funny - ah don't even get it."

"But your children will."

"What?" Nathan asked confused as to what Thomas was getting at. It only took another second or so for the penny to drop, and for his attitude to change from that of confusion to that of grumpiness. "Shut up."

Thomas laughed to himself before turning back to the stage.

Discord looked around the room for a reaction to work on, but found that nobody laughed at his joke. Instead, he pulled his top hat off of his head... for about half a second, before putting it back on his head and pulling it over his entire body.

How can a hat just stretch like that?

...

Oh, right. Magic. As per usual.

Once it had reached the maximum amount that the hat would stretch, Discord jumped out of said hat, which made the top part of it snap apart. Discord, somehow (probably due to magic again), jumped out of said hat... wearing a more informal red jacket, like a sports jacket, in stark contrast to the orange suit jacked he was wearing earlier.

And the reason science hasn't really gone anywhere here is all beginning to make sense now.

Kicking away the now-wrecked top hat, Discord walked forward to the front of the stage and continued. "I've only got these tiny mismatched wings," he said as he showed them off to the crowd and continued his joke. "And even I can fly better than Twilight Sparkle! Am I right?"

A rimshot rung out again, with him even adding a "Pachoo!" to it.

Unlike the previous joke, this one was actually kind of funny, so all three of us snickered.

"Okay, that one was good," Thomas commented to himself.

Twilight, however, didn't agree.

"HEY!" she called out to Discord, with a slightly unhappy look upon her face clearly indicating that she didn't like the joke.

Her mentor acted completely differently to her about it, though. Instead of saying something, she actually giggle to herself as well... something that didn't escape the notice of Twilight herself.

Discord, however, started nervously laughing, as he was not getting the reaction he was hoping for. "Uh, well, perhaps you're into more observational humour."

Following this, he glowed white for a split second before teleporting away. We were all confused for a second as to where he went, but we got an answer when his head appeared poking out of a wall... and kept talking.

"Did you ever notice how you always materialise out of thin air?" he asked rhetorically.

Naw, Discord. I don't materialise, full stop.

"Why not thick air?" he asked again, as he pulled himself back out of the wall, wearing a shirt with the top button undone, along with a loose red tie... and a blue jacket.

Can you not just stick to the one costume instead of taking your entire wardrobe with you?

"What's the deal there?" he finished, along with another rimshot... which I came to realise should be impossible considering there was no drum in sight, but this guy could change his colour of suit at will so whatever.

Again, there was silence... except from some mare at the front coughing.

"Actually," Thomas began. "The reason is-"

"Stop it, Tom," I interrupted. "I know you want to become the next Albert Einstein, but you don't need to give us a lecture about air."

Surprisingly, this brought out a few laughs from within the crowd, but mostly everybody didn't laugh. Difference is, I wasn't attempting to make a joke.

"Tough crowd," Discord could be heard commenting as he pulled his tie.

From the other side of the room, I could hear conversations involving the Mane Six whilst Discord was performing.

"What is he doing?!" Twilight asked.

"I think they're... jokes?" Rainbow Dash replied, albeit unsure of her answer, since the jokes weren't all that funny in the first place.

Pinkie smiled like a Cheshire cat, before turning to a pony next to her, who I assumed was her sister. "Maud! Jokes!"

Maud just turned back to the front. "My favourite."

Is she being sarcastic, or does she lack enthusiasm?

Discord continued regardless. "You might be a Ponyville pony when an ordinary night on the town ends in a lesson about friendship!"

Once again, nobody laughed.

"Knock knock!" Discord said, knocking the table to add to his joke, having changed his outfit for the ~~millionth~~ seventh time.

Nothing.

Discord was shocked to say the least. "You're supposed to say 'Who's there?'! This is the most basic of jokes!"

Having his most basic joke failed, he pulled a mallet from literally nowhere and while seething with anger, he smashed the watermelon with said mallet. The remains were scattered everywhere, landing on everybody's suits/dresses. Nobody minded this, however.

Especially not Maud, who shot back with her own quip. "You're the most basic of jokes."

Ponies all around started laughing, especially her sister, Pinkie Pie. "Good one, Maud!"

Not exactly original though, I thought.

"Well, actually, Maud, you're wrong there," Nathan commented. "As far as I know, Discord's the second most basic of jokes... obviously behind Thomas, of course."

Some laughter could be heard, but Thomas ignored this. "Okay then, Nathan, tell me what makes me the most basic of jokes."

"Well for starters," Nathan began. "There's your choice in cars, your choice in music, your dead end career choice-"

"Okay, but my job isn't exactly dead end."

"Right, you just tell yourself that when you're made redundant in a few years."

"Whatever."

"Where was I? Oh, yes. Your choice in shoes, your haircut, your choice in drinks..." he continued. "Oh, ho ho! I haven't even started with your girlfriend yet!"

"THAT'S IT!" Thomas yelled at the top of his voice.

Nathan started slowly retreating towards the door, but this became a sprint as Thomas started running after him.

"YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME ALL YOU WANT, BUT DON'T YOU DARE BRING MY FIANCÉE INTO THIS! COME HERE!"

"You two aren't married yet!" Nathan yelled back as he burst through the doors.

"SHUT UP!"

This gained some laughter from the ponies inside the hall... except for one small foal, who was looking scared.

Curious as to why he was scared, I followed his eye movements to see what he was looking at.

And got a little scared myself.

What the colt was actually looking at was the door that Discord had put the Smooze in earlier. The only major difference was that the door was now glowing from the other side.

It didn't take a genius to work out what was going on... or what was going to happen.

"Well, I better get after them," I lied. "To make sure they don't get too out of hand."

And without a further word spoken I made haste towards the door, closing it in time to hear Twilight on the other side asking what something was.

Leaving the ensuing chaos behind me, I walked down the stairs and over to the bar, passing one or two of Fancy Pants' associates on the way.

"Hello, sir," the stallion behind the bar asked, slightly uneasy at my appearance. "What can I get you?"

"Err..." I began, but faltered as I pondered over what to order. I wasn't a fan of wine, and I didn't feel like I wanted beer, either. Eventually I just settled on whiskey. "Can I get a glass of whiskey, please?"

"Certainly. What type would you like?"

"What have you got?"

"Rye, Bourbon and Corn amongst most others."

"Can I get some rye, please?"

"Of course. How old?"

"Six to eight years, preferably."

"Right away, Sir," he replied before turning away and getting me a small dram of said bourbon to drink. I wasn't waiting long before he returned. "Here you are. That'll be six bits please."

I handed over the sufficient amount of bits, and gave an extra four bits as a tip.

"Thank you, sir!"

"No problem," I replied, before turning on the spot and walking out of the reception area to one of the balconies overlooking Canterlot.

Several minutes later, I was still drinking, but deliberately taking a while as I looked over what had happened over the past week or so, still trying to take it all in.

I thought long and hard about how this could have happened in the first place, why it had come through Scotland specifically, rather than Canada or Russia, which would have been much more likely for this portal to open there instead, and wondered who could have brought us here.

I was brought out of my musing by a familiar voice.

"Jack!"

I turned round to see Princess Luna in an elegant black and blue dress. It was in a similar style to Celestia's, but there were white crescent moons that were present in the place of the sun images that Celestia had. It suited Luna well, when you take into account her fur and mane colours, and with being Princess of the Night.

"Princess Luna!" I commented, before bowing to show respect.

This bought out giggles from her as she walked over to where I was standing. "Please, there's no need to be so formal. I only wish to talk with you."

"Thank you. Anything in particular?"

"How have you been settling into Equestria?"

"It's a nice place. It's vastly different from Scotland, which I suppose can be a good and bad thing."

"I can see what you mean," she said as she quietly laughed to herself. "Where are your friends at the moment?"

"Probably fighting each other in some corridor in the castle."

Luna looked shocked, her eyes narrowing to pinpricks. "Why would they do that?"

"Well, long story short... insecurity and a lot of hot air."

"That's rather vague..."

"Having jokes at each other, and Nathan about to make a joke about his girlfriend to whom... he recently engaged to."

This seemed to calm her shock down, but she still looked somewhat confused. Regardless, she continued. "So what are you doing out here, by yourself?"

I sighed. "I suppose I'm just trying to think over this, and work out why this was happening to us in the first place... amongst other things."

"Like the dreams you have been having?"

I felt my eyes widen upon hearing this, and no longer felt the tiredness I was feeling only a minute ago, with most of that replaced with anger.

"What are you talking about?" I replied somewhat crossly as I felt my right hand tighten the grip around my glass, my knuckles becoming white in the process.

Nothing my white knuckles and my change in tone, she continued. "Jack, you must understand that I was merely doing my duties as Princess of the Night."

"Like what?"

"Part of my job as Princess of the Night involves me watching over ponies' dreams while they are sleeping, and if they are having nightmares, I can enter their dreams to banish them and help them to face their fears, if need be."

My vice-like grip on my dram of whiskey released to the point where it was the same as before. "So, that force I felt trying to get into my dreams... that was you?"

Luna nodded. "Until Twilight told my sister and I via letter that you were immune to magic, I kept trying to enter your dreams, but was unsuccessful. I could see them from the outside however."

"What do you make of them?"

"Am I correct in saying that most of these dreams were you reliving past memories?"

"Yeah, and not very pleasant ones at that," I replied. "But you probably already know that."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Well, most of them revolved around things that happened in a previous relationship."

"What happened?"

"It was absolutely brilliant!" I lied. "Best thing that ever happened to me."

Luna raised her eyebrows at me, unconvinced with my answer.

"Jack..."

I sighed. "I met her in a pub back in February of 2009, nearly 9 years ago. She came over to where I was standing at the bar and she was making it very apparent she was interested in me. She seemed like a nice girl, so I drove her back to her parent's house and she game me her phone number."

"Oh... what happened next?"

"Well, sure enough, she phoned me later that week and we kept in touch with each other. To my relief, I found out she was a bit of a petrolhead too."

"Petrolhead?"

"Person who's into cars."

"I see... you were saying?"

"We went out for quite a few dates over the next few years, and we became really close, if you know what I mean. Just over two years after I first met her, she told me that she was moving out of her parent's house and asked if she could move in with me. Naturally, I accepted, even though I had only just bought the house at that point."

"So things WERE good?"

I hesitated. "Err... for a while. Things were going smoothly, we went on a couple of dates again. In the days leading up to what caused it all to go downhill, the signs were there, like getting nervous around me with her phone and her changing her phone password, but it still wasn't all that obvious."

"So what happened?"

"I remember the date as if it were yesterday... the 28th of January, 2013. I had gone out with my friends: Thomas, Nathan and my best friend, Brodie. I'd come back after Brodie had dropped me off at my house. My car was broken down, so I had to ask her to take me to work, and asked Brodie to take me back.

"The previous day, we stopped at the jewellers to get a ring to propose to her, as I really did think I had waited long enough and thought she was the one. After I'd bought it, I left it to Brodie for safekeeping. After he'd dropped me off, I went inside and I braced myself as I walked up to my door. But when I did reach the door, I heard noises inside the flat."

Luna grimaced, as I think she knew where this was going.

"I didn't believe what I was hearing, so I went inside to see what was happening. I left the bag that I had taken to work on the kitchen counter, and opened the bedroom door... to find her doing it with another guy."

There was silence between us for a few seconds. Eventually, Luna spoke. "I am sorry to hear that."

"You should have my reaction when I saw the other guy, though," I laughed, somewhat nervously. "The guy had long hair, so I literally yanked him by his ponytail and yanked him down every step and threw him out... while he was still naked. I was less pleased with my girlfriend, though. I showed her the ring that I was going to propose to her with, and more or less forced her out."

"So how has that caused the bad memories I saw in your nightmares?"

"There was more to it after that had happened," I explained, sighing as memory after memory kept flowing back to me. "But I'm not quite ready to talk about that just yet... the wounds haven't quite healed just yet."

"I understand."

"Well, I reckon I've done enough deep thinking for one night," I sighed, finishing the last of my whiskey. "I better get back inside. As much as the city is beautiful to look at, I can't stand here all night."

Luna giggled. "Alright, Jack. While it was nice to see you again, I must be ready to take night court soon."

"Alright, then. See you sometime soon."

"Good night, Jack" And with that, she walked away back inside, presumably to get changed out of her dress. A few seconds later, I followed suit, walking back in and heading back towards the bar, meeting the same stallion as before.

"Can I get a glass of bourbon, please?"

"Certainly, sir. Just a moment, please."

And so, he walked off again. While I was waiting, I saw Nathan walking along the corridor, along with Thomas, who were both laughing about something. Curious, I climbed up the stairs.

"Nathan!" I shouted over to him.

Both of them turned to look at me. "Jack, where have you been?"

"I left a little while after you did," I replied. "Just went outside for a bit of fresh air. Have you two stopped trying to strangle each other?"

We all laughed, after all it was only a joke.

"Yep, but we ran across half the castle in the process. Wouldn't be surprised if some members of the guard started chasing us."

"I don't know how you managed to keep up with me, to be honest," Nathan commented.

"Shut up."

"Anyway, are you all heading back into the main hall? I'll be there in a second but I've ordered a drink at the bar."

"Sure, see you there."

With that they both walked off back to the main hall, and I pivoted on the spot to walk back down to the bar. On the way there, guess who I met?

"Here comes the ape!" shouted an all so familiar voice.

Yep, you guessed it.

"What exactly is your problem, anyway?" I snapped, becoming more irritated by his attitude towards us by the second.

"Do not speak to me like that!"

I decided he wasn't worth the effort to argue with. After all, they say it's hard to argue with a smart person, but impossible to argue with an idiot. "Whatever."

I continued walking down the stairs, ignoring the 'who do you think you are' comments that Blueblood was making. When I got back to the bar, the stallion from before looked up towards me.

"Oh, there you are. Your glass is sitting there," he said, pointing his hoof towards a dram of whiskey that was put off to the side for safekeeping.

"Oh, thank you. How much?"

"Six bits, please."

I forked over the necessary bits, and took my drink. I thanked the bartender again before walking back up the stairs, drink in hand. Opening the doors, I had a look around... to find the Smooze at the size it was at the start of the night, Thomas, Nathan and most of the Mane Six standing near Discord, and Discord talking. I saw Twilight and Celestia talking to each other, so I decided to walk over to them and ask what had happened after I left.

"Princesses," I said to them, gaining their attention.

"Hello there, Jack," Celestia replied with a smile. "How are you this evening?"

"Fine thank you, Princess. What happened after I left?"

"Well," Twilight began, rubbing her hoof against the floor, almost in shame. "The Smooze got out of the storage room that had a lot of the crown's valued items, that were all... heh, heh... shiny. The slime got everywhere, and even both of us couldn't control it with our magic..."

"So how'd you get it under control?"

"A mare by the name of Tree Hugger used some soft vocal techniques to calm him down and release all of the ponies trapped in ooze out of it and stopped it from crating much more chaos."

"Tree Hugger... is she...?"

"The green mare that Fluttershy took as her plus one?"

"That's the one. What happened after that?"

"Discord wasn't happy in the slightest. He opened a portal and threatened to send Tree Hugger to another dimension. Apparently he had this desire for vengeance against Tree Hugger for her being invited by Fluttershy to the Gala instead of him.... Thankfully, Fluttershy knocked some sense into him, and they made up. Discord closed the portal and removed the items from the Smooze."

We all looked on to Discord and the others, and noticed that Pinkie and the Smooze had started dancing on the dance floor, and Nathan was teasing Thomas to go on as well. I didn't say a word to this. My mind skipped over the rest of what Twilight said to focus on one part.

"...threatened to send Tree Hugger to another dimension..."

"I'm sorry, Princess Celestia," Twilight said, turning to her mentor.

"I thought I could give you a break tonight..." she continued, looking ashamed as she turned back to the floor. "...but it turns out I was in over my head."

"You have nothing to apologise for," Celestia said, bringing Twilight out of her sad thoughts. "This has been the most fun Gala in years!"

Although the night was a bit mental, I had to agree with Celestia. It was much better than the parties or events that I got invited to, which usually involved getting several people steaming by the end, and one of the following: someone getting extremely high on drugs, a fist fight outside, or someone getting beaten up. I know who to avoid now, so I suppose it's all good.

"I know," Twilight replied. "It was a—what?!" exclaiming this last part in surprise, not expecting this response from her mentor.

"But there was ooze all over the place!" Twilight continued, not seeing what made Celestia enjoy the night so much. "And one of the guests threatened to send somepony to another dimension! And another two guests kept making snarky comments towards each other, and chased each other throughout the castle!"

"I know!" Celestia replied happily. "Can you imagine how dull it would have been if I hadn't invited Discord and you three along?" directing this last comment towards me.

"Yeah, from the way some of the nobles I met go about it, it really did seem like a dull social climber's event," I replied, seeing the point she was making, ignoring the incredulous look Twilight was giving me.

"At least somebody else sees how boring the Gala is apart from me!" Celestia announced, pushing Twilight to the others with her wing. "Come on! Aho!"

"The night is still young!" she explained to Twilight.

"Just a second, though," I said before walking off to Thomas and Nathan, both of whom having milkshakes in their hands.

"Alright, Jack," Thomas called over to me.

"Yep. Where'd you get the milkshakes from?"

"Pinkie."

"Pinkie being Pinkie?"

"Yeah."

"So there you are," Discord finally said. "The others and I were just talking about you."

Discord then stuck out his paw. "I'm Discord, the reformed Spirit of Chaos, although I think you already know that."

I didn't immediately shake his paw, but eventually did so unenthusiastically. "Pleased to meet you, Discord."

Discord seemed unhappy with my response. "Oh, come on. I told you I'm reformed."

"I know. I'm also told you threatened to send somepony to another dimension."

Discord didn't seem to know what I was getting at, but after several seconds of silence, the penny dropped. Discord jumped up defensively. "I can tell you with one hundred percent honesty that I did not bring you here."

"Really," I replied in a sarcastic tone that I made imply mistrust.

"I'm telling you the truth!"

I stared at him, giving him a hard glare, knowing his answer was probably be full of rubbish. Eventually I looked away from him, but instead to look at Applejack.

"Applejack?" I asked. "Is he telling the truth?"

"If lies could make snow fall, he'd have made Canterlot the Frozen North right now."

"Discord!" I said, raising my voice and showing him how irritated I was by his deceptiveness.

Discord said nothing for a few seconds, his eyes darting back and forth. Eventually, he let out a big sigh. "Fine! I may have accidentally brought you here with an experimental spell that was intended to do something else."

Ponies around could be heard gasping at this.

"I'm not that concerned about what you were doing," I told him harshly. "Can you recreate what happened?"

"Well, for the moment, I'm afraid not," he sighed, before sitting on the stage. "There was far too many variables for me to keep a track of, so trying to recreate could take several months to do."

"Can you give us the base spell," Twilight began. "So we can work with it to try to recreate it?"

"I suppose I could, but it would take weeks, if not months to do so."

"Okay," I replied, controlling my anger at this to the best of my abilities. "It's alright. If it wasn't intentional, then I forgive you."

"Thank you."

With that, Nathan, Thomas and I did a little toast for ourselves - with their milkshakes and my whiskey. To what exactly?

"To possibly returning back home within a few weeks, and enjoying Equestria in the mean time!" Thomas said, not all that confident with what he said.

"How about settling on to going home?"

Thomas laughed. "Yeah, that other one's a bit of a mouthful."

"To going home!" I called out.

"To going home," they both replied in unison, all of us taking our drinks... and me noticing something odd about the whiskey's taste.

Now, I'm not sure if you've been able to work this out so far, but if you haven't, I was a bit of a whiskey connoisseur. I've had almost all types of whiskey you can find; Scotch, Bourbon, Rye, Tennessee, Irish, Japanese, whatever. If you can name it, I've probably had at least one dram of it.

Except English whiskey. My dad made me avoid it at all costs.

Anyway, as I was familiar with the taste of whiskey, I could probably tell what type it is, just from the taste of it... even blindfolded.

This dram didn't taste right.

It was certainly bourbon, there was the distinct taste, but there was something else there... something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

"What's the matter, Jack?" Thomas said, smirking. "You look like you've just taken sparkling water when you thought it was still!"

I laughed. "Yeah, whatever. This whiskey doesn't taste quite right."

"What is it?"

"Bourbon, aged six to eight years. It's definitely bourbon, but it tastes like something else is there."

"Probably because you've naw had it in ages," Nathan commented.

"Maybe, I dunno."

We all took another sip of our drinks again, my fears strengthening that something wasn't right in the bourbon. I dismissed it at the time as me probably not having had it in at least a decade.

"So, what exactly did y'all two do?" Applejack asked Nathan and Thomas. "After ya both ran out of the hall, ah mean."

Nathan answered. "Well, I basically ran away from Nathan, running in practically every place imaginable - from the main lobby..."

I zoned out of what Nathan was saying, as out of the corner of my eye, something caught my attention. I turned over to see what it was... and was somewhat surprised.

What I was looking at was Prince Blueblood sitting at a table in near the back of the room, smirking for some reason. This said smirk became a feral grin as he noticed I was looking at him. I narrowed my eyes, confused at first.

Why the hell is he smirking like a bloody psychopath?

My eyes widened slightly as I realised something.

Unless...

I raised my glass again to get a good hard look at the whiskey... and was horrified to see that a secondary liquid, that blended in very well to the whiskey, began moving about within the whiskey.

"I should have known," I commented aloud, as my brain connected all of the dots.

"Jack?"

I turned my head to see Thomas, Nathan, the Mane Six, Discord and Celestia looking at me confused.

"Erm... uhh... I was just talking to myself?" I replied unconvincingly.

"Jack?" Thomas repeated.

I ignored him and turned to Celestia. "Where are the toilets here?"

Surprised by my question, Celestia raised her hoof. "They're downstairs, past the main lobby. Take the nearest stairs to the door, and take a left and then a right."

"Okay," I replied, before putting my glass onto the stage away from the others and hurriedly walking towards the door, ignoring Celestia calling my name in the process. On the way there, I saw Lyra sitting at a table with Bon-Bon, or Sweetie Drops or whatever her name was. I can't exactly remember: it's been a long time since this happened. On the table was an empty glass, a salt and a pepper grain.

Perfect, I thought.

As I walked over, Lyra noticed me. "Jack! I-"

"I'm SO sorry about this," I interrupted, before taking the empty glass and the salt grain.

"Jack? What's happening?" I heard Lyra call out in concern as I left the hall. As I did so, the effects of the poison began to kick in. I felt a little hurt in my chest, and I felt so tired... keeping my eyes open was difficult, but staggering down the stairs was a fucking nightmare!

I felt the eyes of several ponies staring at me in either disbelief, horror, or if your name happened to be Jet Set, disgust. I ignored all of these looks and kept stumbling in the directions that Celestia had given me.

Pushing the door aside, I immediately ran for the tap, turning it on. I fumbled with the glass as I put it in the sink, while adding salt to it. Looking back on it, it was probably foolish to try and throw the poison up, but at the time I felt like I had no other choice.

After the glass had overflowed with warm water, I turned the tap in the direction to turn it off, with each twist getting progressively more careless. I raised the glass to my lips and tried to drink as much of it as I could, with a substantial amount getting on my suit instead.

But it was enough. I felt the water trickle down my throat, and soon enough, I felt sick. My stomach lurched as I dropped the glass, turning to the sink to throw up whatever it was that was in my drink... and anything else that was stuck in there.

I heard the door burst open behind me, and several footsteps behind me.

"Jack?"

I turned to see Nathan and Thomas standing at the door, both looking extremely concerned over my behaviour.

"I think that glass of whiskey was poisoned," I managed to slur.

I went to walk over to them, but I slipped on a piece of glass and found myself falling forward, feeling the floor impacting my nose... and the rest of my face. The shouting and the talking that was happening not even three feet away from me was fading away as I felt myself lose consciousness.

...

Is this what it's like to die?

Is this what Brodie went through all those years ago?

Did Emily experience this in the crash?

Chapter 17 - In the Hospital (again)

"...he's not all that well at the moment...."

...

"...his condition's critical!"

"Is he going to make it?"

"We don't know..."

...

"He's going to die, isn't he..."

...

"No, you deserve it, Jack. You made a fool out of me. You've got to die!"

I suddenly jumped awake, and quite possibly out of my skin, upon hearing these memories play in my head in a somewhat nightmarish fashion. I took in several uneasy breaths, trying to work out what had just happened to me, or what was going on now.

And then the smell hit me.

I'm in a hospital?

Again?

Great. Just what I needed.

As I looked around, I saw that it was your generic hospital - albeit I gathered from the equipment that was nearby that I was in the Accident and Emergency department. The clock was showing 5:16, but as there were no windows, I had no idea whether that was AM or PM.

On the table next to me, I saw a newspaper and my mobile phone lying on the top, as well as a glass of water and some flowers. Not feeling like having a drink at that point, I reached my hand for my mobile phone. Grabbing it, and pulling it back over as well as I could, given my restricted movement, I pressed the power button on the side to turn it on.

Only to be met with a flashing red battery graphic that I was all too familiar with.

I groaned in frustration as I put my phone back on to the table, as the place was clearly empty, and nobody was around. I grabbed the newspaper, and folded it out to full size. It was dated to 11th of December, which confirmed that I had been out for at least 2 days.

The paper in question was the previous day's Equestrian Mail, and had a picture of me on the front cover.

Grand Galloping Gala Poisoning!

Not exactly the best example of alliteration, I thought.

The article, however, still provided the necessary information. Seeing as there was no one around, I read the article aloud to myself.

"One of the three newly-arrived humans to Equestria, who had attended the Grand Galloping Gala last night, was rushed to Canterlot Castle's infirmary after it has been discovered that he had drank whiskey with poison in it.

Jack Luss, 36, was rushed to the A&E department of Canterlot Castle Infirmary on a stretcher two days ago after it was discovered that he had ingested a glass of bourbon whiskey contaminated with a unknown poison and was losing consciousness.

The Royal Investigatory Branch of the Equestrian Intelligence Agency are claiming they were investigating the incident and no possibilities were being ruled out at the moment. They are also interviewing everyone that met Mr Luss that night for information on the matter, and are refusing to rule out anyone currently as suspects.

A spokes-pony for the RIB released a statement on the matter: 'We are currently investigating the matter regarding Mr Luss and we are not making any assumptions now regarding the incident at hand.

'We have prime suspects in the investigation at the moment, but we cannot afford to take any risks and are currently in the process of interviewing everypony that ever spoke or met Mr Luss that night.'

When asked about the poison, the spokes-pony shut down any questions regarding it: 'We are currently not at liberty to release any facts about the poison used on the victim, as we also do not know the origins of the toxin, or who had access to it at the time. The situation regarding that matter is developing at the Forensics Department.'

Mr Luss has been previously fighting for his life as the chemical in question had not been analysed to find an antidote and had to be sedated as treatment was given.

More details will be given when we have more information on the matter."

I put the paper back onto the desk, sighing to myself as I took in what I had just read, and the memories from a few nights ago came flashing back to me: Blueblood smirking, myself stumbling around the corridors, drinking the salt water, collapsing etc.

I had a small sip of water from the side, as I realised I might be here for a while, and since there was nobody else around, I picked up the newspaper and a pencil that was lying on the table and flicked through to see if there was a page for puzzles such as crosswords, Sudoku... you know, that sort of thing.

I eventually found it, and while the crosswords were more related to ponies and Equestria, I still had a decent go at it anyway while I waited for a nurse, a doctor or somebody else to come nearby.

Which took quite a while, actually.

One hour and forty nine minutes, to be exact.

I still don't know how I remember the exact amount of time after all these years.

Eventually, though, after said amount of time, a nurse was doing her routine check of patients in the morning when she found me awake.

"Ah, so you're awake," she commented aloud. "How are you feeling?"

"Like somebody's hit me in the face with a baseball bat," I quipped, groaning in discomfort as I tried to move around in the bed.

The nurse laughed for a little bit. "Yes, the medication tends to do that to ponies after they woke up."

"What happened exactly after I blacked out, if you don't mind me asking?"

"No, not at all," the nurse replied with a shake of her head, to indicate this wasn't a problem. "You were rushed to hospital while doctors tried to analyse the substance in your drink. They came back within an hour to say that you had ingested a form of interfectorem cerebri."

I'm guessing my face was conveying confusion to her as she explained. "It's a type of neurotoxin that shuts down the brain's abilities to function properly. Once ingested, the victim normally has roughly two hours to be treated... after that, it's fighting a losing battle. We don't know that much about humans but we estimate you have a higher tolerance to it than normal ponies."

"Ah. So what happened after that?"

"We had to sedate you so you were fully unconscious before we could administer the antidote that was developed for it. You fortunately didn't take enough for the toxin to be lethal, but we couldn't have you living in a coma for the rest of your life."

"How long have I been out?"

"Around fifty five hours."

I inhaled, not quite sure what to make of this. I mean, that's a long time to be out... and I don't remember having anything to eat for quite a while, either. "What day is it?"

"Tuesday."

"How long will I need to be here for?"

"Six hours at the most. We think your condition's now stable, and you're conscious now, but we would prefer to be sure by running a few tests. That reminds me, one of your friends and some ponies from the Royal Investigatory Branch would like to interview you."

"Are the RIB here?"

"Not at the moment. They came to get a statement yesterday, but you were still unconscious so they left it until you woke up. I'll send for your friend now."

"Thank you," I replied as the nurse walked out of the room. I sighed and pinched my nose, taking in all of the recent events... just two weeks ago, I had no idea that something like this would ever happen to me.

But whatever... it's not like I was screaming at everyone in a hope the world would make sense to me all of a sudden.

Although I wonder what Brodie's reaction would be to this...

Anyway, not long after the nurse left, she came back, but this time with Thomas in tow.

"Alright, mate," he called out to me.

"Alright, mate," I replied, taking his hand and shaking it before being pulled into a short embrace. Not that I minded that it was brief, right enough.

"So, how are you doing?"

"Alright, if feeling like I've been kicked in the face counts as feeling okay," I joked. "How about you?"

"Alright," he replied. "The show was quite good, if you're interested. Between the Red Arrows and the Wonderbolts... I can't make a decision on who's better."

I laughed. "Did Nathan enjoy himself?"

"Yeah, I would say that he did," Thomas laughed. "I tried my best not to laugh when they came over to us. You know how Spitfire was flirting with Nathan the other day?"

"Aye."

"Well, it wasn't just a one-off thing. She's really come on to him, she's been giving him all of these hints to do it. But her teammates say that her behaviour might be amplified by her being in heat at the moment."

"Heat?"

"Mares become more... interested in 'physical activities', if that makes sense."

I laughed. "I don't know what to make of that..."

"It gets worse, though."

"How?"

"They can become obsessed over the one person, and it doesn't stop until it dissipates, even if they do it."

"Now I understand why Emily cheated," I quipped, getting some laughter from Thomas. "Where is Nathan, by the way?"

"I think they'll be going on a date today before Spitfire goes back, but at the moment, he's staying at the castle."

We discussed the issue surrounding my poisoning a bit more, from what the RIB was doing and what people were saying about it. Unsurprisingly, the Canterlot Chronicle had a ~~overly~~ slightly positive view on my poisoning, while most other papers were outraged at such an action.

According to Thomas, the RIB was somewhat like the FBI in our world, in the fact that they had similar roles in investigation and dealing with incidents relating to security. They apparently were looking into suspects, even including Thomas and Nathan, but they were cleared when another witness at the Gala confirmed their alibis.

There was really no prime suspect at the time, according to the RIB, but they said in the statement (that the newspaper was talking about) that getting an interview with me could be the key solve the case. My reply to Thomas was that it certainly would solve the case.

After another half hour of conversation, Thomas told me he was going to go back to the castle to get some sleep. According to him, he woke up at four in the morning, and because he had "nothing better to do", he waited outside to see if I were conscious.

"Well, in that case, see you later mate."

"Bye."

About another half an hour (and a tuna sandwich) later, two ponies from the RIB came to interview me regarding the incident.

"Good morning, Mr Luss," the older looking pony began. "My name's Inspector Straight Arrow and my partner here is Sergeant Smokey. We'd like to ask you a few questions about your poisoning for our investigation."

"Of course," I replied. "What would you like to know?"

"Perhaps if you give us an idea of what you were doing before you got poisoned?"

"Well," I began to explain, the Sergeant taking his notebook out and writing what I was saying down with magic. "I ordered a drink of bourbon from the bar area, but left shortly afterwards to go and talk to my friends, as we were separated earlier on. After a brief conversation with them, I left to go back to the bar area, and having a brief unfriendly conversation with Prince Blueblood."

"What was he saying?" Short Arrow asked.

"He was making these rather racist comments towards myself, and did my best to ignore him as I walked down the steps."

"So then what happened?"

"I walked back to the bar, and picked up my drink. I paid the barman for my drink and then walked off back into the hall area, where I arranged to meet my other two friends. I never let my drink out of my sight after that, so it had to be contaminated during that time period of me talking to my friends."

"Is it a possibility that the barman committed the crime?"

"No," I answered quickly, gaining raised eyebrows from the gathered ponies. "I gave him a tip earlier on when I had a glass of rye, so it wouldn't make much sense for him to poison me."

"So when did you realise you had been poisoned?"

"Well, Thomas, Nathan and I did a toast in the main hall between ourselves."

"This isn't relevant to the investigation, but what was it about?" the Inspector asked.

"To going back home, if my memory serves me correctly."

Both ponies winced slightly at this. To lighten the mood and move on, I kept going.

"But after I had that first sip of whiskey, I knew there was something that wasn't quite right about it. It was definitely bourbon, but it tasted as if there was a second drink in there mixed as well. You know what I mean?"

"So is that when you first realised the whiskey was poisoned?"

"I was suspicious... but no. I dismissed it at the time as not having drank bourbon in over a decade."

"That was a stupid assumption to make," the Sergeant commented to himself.

"SERGEANT!" the Inspector roared, turning towards said Sergeant with a glare so fierce, even my dad would shit a brick.

"Yes, sir?" the Sergeant replied nervously, gulping and trying to give a smile towards him that only conveyed his nerves.

"Keep those kinds of comments to yourself! You're NOT helping at the moment!!"

"Sorry, sir," the Sergeant replied, looking down at the ground in shame.

The Inspector turned back to me. "Sorry about that, but Sergeant Loud-Mouth here will never learn to keep his mouth shut. You were saying?"

"Well, I didn't realise I'd been poisoned until I zoned out of the conversations that were around me. I looked over to where Prince Blueblood was sitting, and he was smirking as he was looking right at me. That smirk turned into a creepy looking grin shortly after he noticed I was looking at him, and it kind of clicked to me what was going on."

The ponies looked back and forth at each other, wide-eyed expressions adorning their faces. They turned back around with the same shocked expression towards me. "Are you saying Blueblood is responsible for this?"

"Yes, I am."

"Why would you think that?"

"The newspaper that he owns, The Canterlot Chronicle, was writing some articles that were negatively biased towards ourselves."

"Is that all you have?"

"No. The princesses and the three of us humans were standing in the main hall for a bit. When he showed up to us, he was blatantly clear he didn't like us. When she stuck up for us, he started making comments towards a unicorn named Rarity, for no good reason, might I add."

"So what happened?"

I sighed. "I lost my temper, called him a knob, reprimanded him for his behaviour and gave him a lecture about respect in front of the whole hall with the princesses and all the other ponies in the hall."

The RIB ponies were flabbergasted, to say the least. Their faces expressed those of extreme amazement, as if I had taken on a seven nation army by myself - and won. Their mouths remained ajar for quite a while... at least fifteen seconds before they brought themselves back to reality.

"So you think that's his motives?"

"Not all of them. Those are the ones I think he has, but there might be more to this than just protecting his image."

The sergeant quickly kept writing this all down into the notebook, jotting down every detail. Soon after they finished, they looked to each other, and nodded. The sergeant walked away, while the inspector came back to me.

"Thank you, Mr Luss, for your time. I promise to investigate this fully."

"That's not a problem, Inspector," I replied politely. "It should be me thanking you for doing this."

"I'm only doing my job, Mr Luss. Goodbye to you."

And with this, he walked back out with his partner and out towards what I presumed was the exit. After they lift, I sighed and pinched my nose as I started thinking about the recent events - again.

After about ten more minutes, however, guess who turned up?

"YOU!" I bellowed at the top of my voice.

"Quiet, you ape," Blueblood replied with harshness in his tone.

"What are you doing here?" I asked more quietly, but with venom laced in every word I spoke.

"I came here to give you a warning," he replied coldly as he strutted over to me. "I already got rid of the evidence in my implication before you even realised you were poisoned."

"Aye, I thought you might have."

"You did?" Blueblood asked, raising his eyebrow at my neutral comment.

"You might be an impolite, rude and unrestrained racist, and you are very ignorant and stupid, but you're practical, and clever when it comes to saving your own neck."

Blueblood huffed in indignance at my comment, but for the most part ignored it. "After that PATHETIC lecture you gave me, I saw you talking with my rival in business, Fancy Pants and that whorse he calls a girlfriend, and his tiresome business partners!"

"So you weren't butt-hurt over a little lecture, then?" I joked.

"Here's the deal, creature," he refuted harshly. "You stay away from Fanny Pants and his bothersome business associates..."

"Or?"

"Or, what happened to you will pale in comparison to what WILL happen to you and your friends if they intervene."

My eyes widened at that moment. I wasn't fearful of Blueblood's comment... in fact, if he tried anything, I would have fly-kicked that bellend. What I was really scared of was who was standing behind him...

"Blueblood?"

"What's the matter, human? Is the reality of the situation hitting you now?"

"Blueblood..."

"Have you only realised how powerless you are compared to me?"

"BLUEBERRY!"

His demeanour changed from smug to furious faster than a Bugatti Chiron. "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

"Look behind you."

Confused as to why I was getting his attention, Blueblood turned around, not expecting to find anything... and was both shocked and mortified to see an apocalyptically wrathful Princess Celestia, who was seething in undiluted anger. Seeing her furious temper, Blueblood tried to make an effort to speak.

"Uhh... good day, Auntie?"

"GUARDS!" came the ear-splitting response from Celestia, with her hair briefly taking on the appearance of fire as she stomped the ground with her hoof, creating a visible crack mark on the marble floor.

Within literally no time at all, a group of four guards rushed into the room, saluting their princess as they stopped. "You called, your majesty?"

"Take Vladimir Blueblood down to the dungeons," she commanded fiercely, using her magic to levitate Blueblood over to the guards. "Hold him down there until further notice. He is not to be given any special treatment for being royalty. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am," the leader nervously replied, before quickly putting on chains onto Blueblood's hooves, as well as a special type of ring onto his head that I later found out was to disallow his use of magic. Soon, Blueblood was forced out of the ward, the guards actually having to push him out as he wouldn't budge.

Satisfied, Celestia smiled at the scene, before turning back to me... and said smile vanished into thin air upon registering the terrorised look I was clearly expressing, as I have only felt more scared in one moment in my entire life.

I mean, who knew the motherly Princess of Equestria that was loved by all of her subjects could act so hot-tempered like that?

"Are you okay, Jack?" she asked, her own tone becoming slightly fearful as she walked over to the side of my bed, taking slow, slightly shaking hoof-steps.

"Y-yeah," was all I managed to croak out.

A silence lingered over us for a while, neither of us saying anything to the other. This silence became more awkward as the seconds ticked by. Eventually, though, after what must have been about two minutes, I was the one to break the silence.

"W-what's g-going to happen now?"

Celestia, however, didn't answer immediately. "I overheard the last part of the conversation you two were happening. I plan to strip Vladimir's nobility from him as a punishment for that and all of the other complaints that were made about him. I'd rather not want him to keep acting the way he is and ruin the Crown's reputation for his selfish desires. As for what happens regarding the last couple of days... that's up to the RIB to make a decision."

I was quite stunned to say the least. I thought Blueblood would always be able to get away with what he was doing to everyone, with being a Prince, but I never expected his title to be taken away from him...

"How have you been feeling, Jack?" Celestia asked me serenely.

"I- I guess I feel okay..." I replied, my voice trailing off into my own thoughts.

"Jack," she replied smoothly. "You can tell me about anything that's been bothering you."

"I guess I'm still trying to take in everything that's happened."

We soon after got into a full conversation on what she was doing during court, what was happening with the investigation and her opening up to me about her prank wars that she was having with her sister... some of the pranks that she listed sounded hilarious, while others were just downright lazy.

And to think it all started with Celestia sitting on a whoopee cushion...

Eventually, Celestia told me she had to leave again to go to court before it opened at 9 o'clock and got up to do so... but on the way out, she paused and hesitated. She then turned back round to me.

"Celestia?"

"What do you plan on doing when you leave the hospital?"

"Well, tomorrow, I'm supposed to meet this pony who might help us with development of Equestria's first car, but if nothing conclusive comes from it, I'll have to go seek out some permanent work in the Crystal Empire."

To my astonishment, Celestia looked away from me and started rubbing her front-right hoof in a circular motion in a similar fashion as to what Twilight was doing the other night.

Seeing Twilight be nervous around her teacher was understandable, but Celestia acting nervously towards me?

"Well... I could let you stay in the castle for as long as you need to, if that's any help to you, in the case that the car's development works out?" Celestia asked... no, offered me, with a slight tone of nervousness.

I was stunned to say the least. I was quite grateful to her niece for helping us by allowing us to stay in the castle temporarily, but now Celestia was offering me something that I still can't quite repay to this day. I was also stunned by Celestia's nervousness - you would think someone who's ruled on the throne for a thousand years and taken on many villains that threatened Equestria would never really be anxious about anything.

"I..." I began, trying to get the words out as to how grateful I was. "I don't know what to say, Celestia... Thank you for the offer, but you don't need to do that."

"Don't be silly, Jack," Celestia replied with a giggle, all nervous features gone. "You can stay at the castle for as long as you need to. I certainly don't mind."

"Well, in that case... thank you, Princess."

"Back to calling me 'Princess'?"

"Huh?" I asked, confused by the rhetorical question.

"You've been calling me by my name until now," she replied with a smirk upon her face.

I could feel myself heat up inside in a mixture of embarrassment and shame. "Oh... I'm sorry, Princess."

"Jack."

I got more panicky, worried I might have offended her. "It just sort of slipped out, really."

"Jack!"

"I promise it won't-"

"JACK!"

Coming back to reality, I looked up and saw Celestia looking at me.

"Jack, you don't need to apologise to me about that. In fact, on the contrary; it is actually rather nice for me to have a conversation with somepony - well, someONE - other than Luna where I'm not the Princess of the Day... but just Celestia, it's a bit of a break from regality and politics."

If I'm honest, I felt extremely sorry for her - and slightly guilty as well. I mean, who couldn't feel sorry for someone who had to have conversations with others as a head of state and not who they really are on the inside? Apart from Luna and Cadence, I guessed that she got rather lonely with not being able to converse with another as just a normal pony.

As for guilt - I felt like I had upset her by calling her by her title rather than her name.

"In that case... thank you, Celestia," I replied after a few more seconds of thinking.

"You're welcome, Jack," Celestia replied as she started walking away towards the doors. "Anyway, I'm afraid I must be off back to court. Goodbye for now."

"Goodbye."

After she had walked off, I sighed and pinched my nose for the third time within the space of three hours. My thoughts mulled over what had happened the last couple of days, especially at the Gala.

And then, another thought entered my mind... about Celestia.

During the dinner, on our first day here, I saw her one or twice looking at me specifically, for some reason. Then, at the Gala, I saw her looking at me a few times as well, she was calling my name after I left for the toilet, and then there's what had just transpired there, in the hospital...

Does the Princess... like me?

I tried to ignore that last thought as I laid back and relaxed in the bed, waiting to fall back to sleep again, being the lazy bastard I am.

It didn't take long for me to drift off.

Author's Note

Sorry this chapter's a little late. I've been caught up in trying to do this, work, other projects and other things lately.

Chapter 18 - Discussing Equestria's first car?

Getting out of the hospital took a little longer than the nurse said it would. The tests took slightly longer to do than expected - there was apparently another test that had to be done, as the number of tests conducted were inconclusive on whether or not I was allowed to leave.

Eventually, a sixth test had to be taken, which proved I was fit to leave the hospital. This took longer than expected as well - something to do with having to switch machine registers which required authorisation from the head of the hospital. But thankfully, I was out for lunch... if you can still count half one as lunch.

During the time I went to sleep and the time I woke up again, Fleetfoot, Soarin, Spitfire and Shining Armor apparently came to see how I was doing before they went back to their HQ - but I was still asleep by that point... apparently snoring quite a bit.

Anyway, on the way out, I decided to grab myself some lunch - a cheese sandwich was more than enough, I thought - and decided, after signing a few forms to say I could be covered by the Equestrian Health Service, to head out down the main set of stairs.

Big mistake.

Because waiting outside of the infirmary were quite a few press members, after hearing "rumours" that I would be allowed to leave. Yay, so wonderful.

It took me a couple of minutes, but eventually I lost them by jumping over a fence and crossing underneath a bridge... and waiting there for the best part of five minutes as I heard the crowd dissipate. I eventually got up and walked back to the castle - but not before one of the reporters for the Equestrian Telegraph managed to get an "exclusive interview".

~~Because I really didn't have a choice~~ Because I'm nice. At times.

As I was saying, I walked back to the castle, and no sooner as I had done so, I was greeted by a pony in a suit.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"No, it's alright. I was just tasked to show you the room that the Princess has arranged for you to stay in," he answered.

"Thank you. Is the Princess at court?"

"Yes, she is having a few last-minute meetings with Princess Twilight Sparkle and some other delegates about the final details for the upcoming Grand Equestria Pony Summit tomorrow."

"What's that?"

"It's an event where delegates from various areas in Equestria come to Canterlot so they can celebrate the places that make Equestria... well, Equestria, as well as it being an opportunity to sort out any diplomatic issues between politicians."

"So who's going?"

"A lot of ponies and a fair few Griffons, but I heard that your friend Fancy Pants and some of his business associates are part of the Canterlot delegate."

"Is Sonic Blaze part of that delegation?"

"No, I'm afraid not; he had a private meeting to attend to at La Maison Du Cafe. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason," I replied, although I did have a reason for asking.

At least I know he hasn't cancelled on me since we last spoke.

"Well, I believe we should get going," the stallion replied as he began to lead me to my room. "We can talk more on the way there."

And so we did, or rather, I just asked him more questions, and he answered them. It didn't actually take that long for us to arrive at my room... which I noticed was only a few rooms down from Celestia's own personal quarters.

Does she like me? And if yes, why?

As the stallion opened the door with his magic and allowed me to enter, I noticed the room I was going to be staying in was more luxurious than the one in the Crystal Empire, which I didn't even think was possible. The bed looked like you could collapse onto it and they would be so comfortable, any stress you had at all would dissipate instantly, and everything else about the room seemed so up to date, despite the stallion telling me this room hadn't been slept in for over thirty years.

But what really surprised me the most about all of this was how most of my stuff was there, hung up on hangers put onto desks and all of that, in a similar way to the way I had left it on Saturday.

"Wait, how's all of my stuff here?" I asked, completely confused at how basically everything I had was in this room now.

"Princess Celestia wanted your personal belongings sent here," the stallion explained. "So Princess Cadence teleported them here and a servant delivered them here."

"I see."

"Well, I'm sorry," he sighed, before walking to the door. "But unfortunately I have other duties to attend to today."

"Not a problem, I understand."

"Thank you, sir," he replied before walking out and closing the door behind him.

The rest of the day wasn't all that interesting, if I'm honest. I put my solar-battery pack onto charge went out and about Canterlot, looking at places that were hiring as a possible fail-safe for me in case the car thing didn't work out, and took down contact details of whoever was hiring people for work. Most of these were cafes that had vacancies, so nothing that difficult compared to my uni days.

Celestia and I did talk briefly at dinner before I went back to my room, and while I won't go over all the details, she (unintentionally) called me 'honey'... which was quickly followed by a hoof to her mouth and profuse blushing.

I didn't mind, however. If I was honest, I found her 'affection' towards me... rather cute.

And then there was the other half of me thinking, Why am I okay with pursuing a relationship... with a pony? And why am I criticising Nathan for the same thing?

And after going back to my room and putting my phone onto charge from the battery pack, for the first time since coming to Equestria, I slept well. No nightmares, no sudden waking up at stupid o'clock, no drinking at night to make myself feel better... nothing.

I was woken up that morning by the brilliance of the sun shining in through the sliding glass doors that lead out to the gorgeous views that could be seen from the outside balcony. Getting out of bed, I grabbed my phone and looked at my phone... to remember I needed to switch it on and enter the password after recharging.

Doing this took longer than it should have... but when my phone finally finished its loading sequence, it showed the time was 08:42.

I've slept long enough.

And so, I got dressed into some of the smarter clothes that Rarity had made for us, brushed my hair into a somewhat acceptable state, and headed for breakfast.

After asking a maid for directions. Again.

As I walked into the hall, I noticed Celestia talking to her sister, Cadence and Twilight, with Luna taking notice of my entrance and smiling briefly before turning back to the conversation at hand. Further away were Thomas and Nathan, neither of whom noticed i was there. I turned and walked over to the area to get toast, as I wasn't particularly hungry that morning.

I turned back to find somewhere to sit, but saw Celestia waving me over to sit at her table. I breathed internally and walked over to the table, still somewhat tired even after being awake for 10 minutes or so.

"Good morning, Jack," Celestia said.

"Mornin', folks," I replied nonchalantly.

"How are you?" Cadence asked expectantly.

"Aye, ah feel a bit tired but apart from that, ah'm alright," I replied, stretching my arms and yawning as I did so, before turning to everybody else. "You're all going to that Pony Summit today, right?"

The response was some "uh-huh"s and nods.

"You're having a word with a pony who might be able to create cars in Equestria?" Luna asked.

"Aye, but I've got some contact details for work at various places if it doesnae work oot."

"I see."

"Celestia, has Sonic Blaze said anything over when he'd meet us?" I asked, turning back to her.

"He did ask me to pass on a message to meet him at La Maison Du Cafe, a cafe nearer to the centre of the city. He said to be there at one o'clock."

"Alright, thank you."

"Well, I better get going," Twilight said suddenly, getting up and yawning as she did so, which added to the already sleep deprived look she had on her face. "I still have a few things I need to check on before the opening at ten, and I want everything to be perfect."

"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned at her tiredness.

"I'm fine, Jack," Twilight replied as she began to walk out of the hall. After she did so, I turned to the others.

"Is she okay?"

Cadence was the one to answer after she sighed. "No, she's not. She's obviously very tired, as she's been up for the last three days straight, making her plans for the Summit and hasn't actually had any form of rest. It's not quite as serious as what happened to you on Saturday, but it's still quite an issue."

"If you're all gonnae be daein' stuff there, is there anything that can be done for her?"

"After the opening announcement, she's going to take a nap to catch up on sleep, so she feels well rested to continue."

"Hopefully that works out. Ye don't mind me coming along, dae ye?" I asked. "I've got a few hours to kill until one, so I might as well dae somethin'."

"Of course," Celestia said happily. "You can meet more ponies and get on good relations with them, potentially for business. And I also consider spending time with you as a bonus."

No sooner as Celestia had said this, she went wide eyed, as she realised she said something out loud that I suspect was only supposed to be a thought. She also covered her mouth with her hooves again, and blushed in a stark contrast to her fur colour.

Noticing her bizarre behaviour again, I looked to Cadence an Luna. The former did not seem to know what to make of her aunt's behaviour; the latter, on the other hand, was snickering at her sister's behaviour.

I turned back to Celestia. "Celestia?"

"Yes, Jack?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," Celestia replied nervously. "Why?"

"It's just..." I replied, sighing as I decided to leave the subject alone for now. I could have always asked her after the Summit. "Never mind. It's nothing."

"Are you sure?" Cadence replied suspiciously.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

The other two princesses looked at each other for a few seconds, shrugging when they couldn't come to a conclusion.

"Well," Celestia announced, still blushing as she got up. "I should... uh... be preparing for the Summit. Farewell for now."

And with that, she walked away from the table, at a rather hurried pace. After she closed the hall's doors, I turned back to the other two princesses. "What the bloody hell's goin' on now?"

Luna spoke up. "During the course of the time you were in hospital, Tia seemed to have been a bit more worried than usual, and when I asked her about it, she was very secretive about it. After seeing her behaviour as I passed her going to court, being content about something, and seeing what has transpired here, I suspect my sister... may have... feelings for you."

I was completely shocked to the core. I already had my suspicions about her behaviour, especially at the hospital and at dinner, but actually hearing this from somebody else was making me realise I wasn't just imagining things.

"Has she said anything?"

"As I said, my sister was very secretive about this."

"Can I ask a question?"

"Of course."

"Why me?"

Luna sighed. "I do not know, Jack. I honestly do not know. Your only hope in finding answers is talking to her about it."

I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose as I thought over this. I can't believe this. There's so many reasons as to why a relationship like this won't work. I'm a human. She's a pony. I'm a nobody who just happened to be brought here by that idiot Discord. She's a princess, loved by all, and will probably have nobles trying to court her already. Why? What does she see in me? And what if-

"Jack, are you alright?" Cadence asked me suddenly.

I looked up to meet her eyes. "Yeah, I'm alright."

"If you need to talk about anything, you know where to find us."

Eventually, ten o'clock came rather quickly. The castle was full of delegates from the capital of the nation to the most remote corner of the country, and even some Griffons were present at the gathering. Thomas, Nathan and myself were talking amongst ourselves about what happened at the hospital.

"...and then, after all that, she walks off to court," I finished explaining to them, looking for their reactions.

At first, neither of them said anything to this. Then, after I detailed the events of earlier on to them, they both started laughing in a similar fashion to the way Thomas and I laughed about what happened to Nathan.

"And here you are, having a go at me for having a pony have feelings for me!" Nathan hollered, still laughing at my expense.

"Yeah," I replied, hardheartedly laughing with him. "Speaking of which, how did that date go with Spitfire?"

"Good, or at least I think so," Nathan replied. "We went to a cafe, and it seemed like she wasn't interested in a one night stand and was actually pursuing a relationship. She gave me her address, but it's for sending letters only, as we can't exactly walk on clouds. She was actually slightly upset about that, so hopefully that's a good thing."

"Anything else?"

"Well-"

All of a sudden there was a fanfare that had cut Nathan before he finished, gathering everybody's attention and making them all turn to the group of four princesses and a purple baby dragon, who I assumed to be the Spike that I had heard so much about, walk on stage. Princess Luna walked further forward to the crowd.

"Welcome to the Grand Equestria Pony Summit!" she announced, gaining cheers from the crowd. Princess Luna walked further along the stage to make way for her sister and the other three to come further forward.

Celestia spoke next. "You delegates have travelled far and wide to represent your cities as we seek to celebrate and learn from all the unique places that make up our wonderful land of Equestria.

"At tonight's welcome reception, Princess Cadence will dedicate this beautiful friendship statue made up of gemstones from each of your home cities."

As she said this, her horn lit up, and she used her magic gently pull up the cover for the statue that was previously mentioned, the crowd gasping and gawking at its gigantic and stunning appearance. The statue itself was extremely shiny, almost like a second sun, to a degree. It also was extremely tall compared to everyone in the hall (think Liam Neeson compared to Peter Dinklage) and was in the shape of a mare holding one of her forelegs out.

The baby dragon was licking his lips upon seeing the statue, but the reason for which eluded me. I mean, how can you eat solid stone and think it tastes delicious?

The dragon was snapped out of his behaviour by an elbow, if you will, from Twilight, as Celestia continued talking. "Now I'd like to turn things over to the one who organised the summit: Princess Twilight Sparkle!"

As per usual, the crowd cheered for Twilight, but eventually calmed enough for her to speak, albeit tiredly. "Thank you, everypony. With delegates from over fifty cities attending three days of conferences, receptions, and meetings, this is the largest Grand Equestria Pony Summit yet.

"And let me tell you, putting it all together has led to more than one sleepless night."

Aye, nae shit, Sherlock.

"We're so excited to have you here and to learn more about life all across this great land of ours."

The crowd cheered again, but the dragon started tugging on Twilight's tail, indicating he wanted to say something.

"And now my faithful assistant Spike would like to say a few words."

Twilight stepped back to the rest of her peers, allowing Spike to come forward and start speaking.

"Um, hello, everypony!" he began, although not as confidently as the princesses. "I'm here to help any way I can. So if there's anything I can do for any of you—"

"We love you, Princess Twilight!" called out a random pony from the crowd.

So, guy comes on stage and tells everyone that he'll do his best to help them if they need anything, and he only cheers for the princesses? Aye, good one.

"We love all the princesses!" another mare called out, gaining cheers from the other gathered ponies in the hall.

I kinda have to feel sorry for that dragon.

After we had spoken to a few delegates, we left to do some things in Canterlot to pass the time. We all played Dictator 2 on our phones and tried to see who could last the longest under the Siberian Empire scenario.

Me, being the best out of all of them; Thomas bugged out after only ten turns, and Nathan lasted for seventeen turns. I myself had completed all twenty one turns.

Eventually, though, twelve fifty five came around, so we walked down to the cafe that Sonic Blaze arranged to meet us. Nathan decided to take his BMW there, just in case. It took quite a bit of looking, you know, being alien to the city and everything else.

When we did find the cafe, we also found an ecstatic Sonic Blaze. "Good afternoon, folks!"

I laughed at his excitement. "Good afternoon to you too, Sonic Blaze."

"Please, sit down."

And that we did, with me sitting opposite Sonic Blaze and Thomas and Nathan sitting across from each other, Thomas sitting next to Sonic Blaze.

"How are we all?" Sonic asked.

"Good," Thomas replied.

"How about you, Jack?"

"Aye, I'm fine."

"How are you feeling, after Saturday, if you don't mind me asking?"

I sighed. "Aye, I'm alright. I mean, I felt a little tired but that's it."

"So, cars..."

"Yeah. What do you need to know?"

"You said there were complications?"

"Yeah, it's about a variety of factors."

"Like what?"

"Well," I began, noticing Sonic pull out a notepad and quill, ready to write. "There's the issue of what fuel to use, who you want the car to be for, what type of uses it has, off-road capabilities, redesigning the car to fit pony anatomy compared to ours, and if you base your car off of one of ours, you have to redesign it so we don't get sued if one of the manufacturers finds out about it."

Sonic wrote down everything at a pace that would put Twilight to shame. "I see... can you be more specific about those issues you speak of?"

“Well, in regards to fuel, there's many different types of fuel to power the cars, but there's three main types; all of these have their own problems.”

Nathan continued. “The first one created, and the most common type, are fossil fuel powered cars. They're either powered by petrol or diesel, although sometimes cars powered by LPG exist, all of which are derived from oil. I'll save the chemistry lesson, but these types of cars are the most common types you will find.

“The problem with petrol and diesel cars is the way they work. The engine that provides the power for the car burns the fuel that gets put in the engine's cylinders, causing an explosion that causes the pistons to rise. The problem is that the fuel doesn't just go into thin air, its waste product needs to go somewhere.

“As a result, the liquid petrol, for example, will end up becoming two things - a gas called Carbon Dioxide, which is also in the air you breathe out, and water. But if there's not enough air in the chemical reaction, it results in incomplete combustion. This results in carbon monoxide being produced instead of CO2. This is a bad thing because carbon monoxide is extremely toxic.”

“If it's toxic, how do you still allow the cars to be made?” Sonic asked in horror L.

“We realised the risk that this was doing to the environment. As a result, we fitted devices called catalytic converter, which convert the carbon monoxide to carbon dioxide and other less harmful gases.”

“That's a relief to hear. Are there other problems?”

“Well, the other main problem is that oil eventually runs out, as there's only so much oil that exists, and it can't be made so much as manufacturing it on an industrial scale.”

“Why not?”

“Again, it's down to chemistry, but I'll not bore you to death with the details.”

At that moment, a waiter came over to our table. “Can I get your orders?”

“Can I get a cappuccino, please?” Nathan asked.

“Certainly. How do you like it?”

“Milky with a lump of sugar.”

Thomas answered when the waiter turned to him. “A latte with two teaspoons, thanks.”

The waiter wrote this down, before turning to me. “What about you, sir?”

“Can I get a cappuccino, with 2 teaspoons please?”

The waiter finished writing this rather quickly. “Anything else?”

“No, thank you.”

“What about the other types?” Sonic asked after the waiter had left, seemingly interested in all of this as he furiously wrote down every detail.

Thomas was the one to answer. “Then, there's electric cars. They're the favourite for car makers in the future. Petrol and diesel car sales are to be banned in the UK in the next couple of decades, can't remember exactly when, but car companies are creating electric cars for when that happens, in order to cut down on the amount of CO2 being produced.

“There is a battery that has chemicals in it that produces electricity, which powers a motor that in turn, is responsible for the car's movement.”

“Another advantage of electric cars over petrol or diesel cars is that electric cars have instant torque, so they can accelerate much quicker than their petrol counterparts.”

I picked up from where Thomas left off. “The downsides, however, can't be ignored. The batteries usually contain lithium, which can cause the batteries themselves to explode. They also conduct electricity, so if it does explode, using water to control the fire can end up making the situation worse. They'll eventually need to be replaced with a new battery, so they need to be able to dispose of the battery properly.”

At this point limit, the waiter came back with our orders, giving them to us in his magic. “Here you are.”

“Thank you,” we all replied politely as the waiter walked away.

“I see,” Sonic replied, writing down every detail he could. “What's the other one?”

“Hydrogen Fuel Cell vehicles,” I explained. “These cars are very clever, and they work by putting Hydrogen into the fuel tank. The hydrogen then goes to the fuel cell, which takes electrons from the atoms and uses these electrons to make electricity, and the process from then on is similar to the electric vehicle in regards to the motor.

“The major advantage to this is that because the gas involved is hydrogen, the only waste product is water, and they also tend to have a range larger than their electric rivals, being more akin to petrol cars.

“Hydrogen has its down sides as well. Hydrogen is extremely flammable, so if you do the wrong thing, then the car goes up in a ball of flame. Fuel cells are also very fiddly as well, as well as hydrogen being extremely difficult to store in the first place. It's the reason why there's only a dozen or so hydrogen filling stations in UK, none of which are in Scotland.”

“Okay,” he said, finishing writing all of that down. “So if we were to build cars in Equestria, what would you recommend we do?”

“At the moment, it would be best if we started with petrol and see what ponies can come up with, otherwise we'll switch to electric.”

“I see. I can understand the target market problems, so I won't ask about that. What do you mean by ‘rearrangement for pony anatomy’?”

“Well, if you follow me,” Nathan explained as he got up out of his chair. “We’ll show you.”

And so we followed Nathan to his BMW M3, Sonic Blaze being absolutely gobsmacked by its appearance. He seemed to be in awe of the car and it's styling.

Wonder what he thinks of a supercar, I thought to myself.

“Is this one of yours?” he asked.

“Yep,” Nathan replied. “This one's mine. It's a BMW M3, which is the performance version of the BMW 3-series saloon cars.”

“BMW make the car?”

“Yes. They're based in Germany. But here's what I was talking about,” Nathan explained as he opened the door and showed Sonic Blaze the problem.

Despite all of our efforts, Sonic couldn't reach the pedals AND look out the windscreen at the same time.

“Well, it's a shame that I can't try it for myself,” Sonic replied.

“Well, I can still show you,” Nathan replied in a somewhat confusing manner.

“What do you mean?”

“What if I showed you what this car can really do? You know, drifting and showing you how quick this is.”

“What's drifting?”

Nathan just gave him this devilish grin.

Looks like it's going to be last Monday all over again, I thought to myself.

Author's Note

Sorry for the wait, but I got sidetracked by the Bahrain Grand Prix. Unfortunately,Vettel won. :facehoof:

And, unfortunately, writer's block is a thing.

Chapter 19 - Nathan + M3 + Empty Streets = Calamity?

All was quiet in the capital city of Equestria, Canterlot, for the most part. There were ponies and griffons engaged in meetings inside the castle, and others who were having quiet cups of coffee at their favourite cafes, with the occasional conversation between two ponies over what was the latest gossip. Other than this, everything was relatively calm and peaceful in the city of Canterlot.

But, unfortunately for the citizens of Canterlot, this was ruined by the sound of a 3 Litre BMW twin-turbocharged straight-six.

Specifically, the engine that was in Nathan Lang's BMW M3.

As he was drifting.

Oh, boy.

What was not so easily heard, however, was the screaming that Sonic Blaze and Thomas Cooper in the back seats as Nathan shifted into third gear, and created a large and wide powerslide, kicking the rear end out as he stepped on the throttle and pulled onto Unicornia Boulevard, gaining many stares as he did so.

"I'm having fun!" Nathan shouted as he used the paddle-shift gearbox to shift into fourth gear, and magically passing the 100 mph mark.

Aye, I'm sure ye are, ya rocket, I thought.

After about one hundred meters of driving in a straight line and eventually hitting 130 miles per hour, Nathan put his foot on the brake pedal, slowing the car to a lower speed and shifting down to third, before flicking the tail out as he elegantly drifted onto Solar Way, seemingly very calm about his actions.

Well, technically, there's no speed limit, so-

My thoughts were interrupted as the engine's noise increased in pitch when the revs rapidly climbed while he suddenly drifted onto Clover Street, gaining the screams of Sonic Blaze and Thomas.

Oh, grow up, you man-child. What age are you, five?

By the way, that was meant for Thomas. I know Sonic hasn't been in a car before, so I'm cutting him some slack.

The M3 kept gaining speed as it belted down the street in a similar fashion to that of Bullitt, except, of course, not having a second car to chase, at speeds that would make officers from Police Scotland go, 'Let's just leave him, we can't catch him anyway.'

Because, you know, a Peugeot 308 diesel is going to keep up with an M3.

"Are you having fun?" Nathan asked me suddenly as he turned onto Celestia Boulevard, which is the Main Street, if you will, of Canterlot, kicking out the M3's tail once again.

"I am. What about you lot?" I asked, turning back to the two in the back.

No response. They were doing breathing exercises to calm themselves down.

Not that it mattered, as Nathan suddenly veered onto a small road that I can't remember the name of for the life of me, with these weird-looking trees that were over to the side near the end of the road from the side we were at.

Then, all of a sudden, I saw a white speck that I swore was a golf-like ball go into one of the trees from the right, over the wall. I initially thought nothing of this, but when that same tree fell over and hit the one next to it, I knew things were about to get serious, in addition to the cones that were already around on the road.

"Nathan," I said to him, hoping he would have seen.

"What?" he replied, not even seeming to acknowledge what was happening in front the revs of the engine still climbing in third gear.

"Can you just slow down?" I asked him, as the second tree fell onto the third at an angle slightly towards the building on the left hand side.

"I thought you said you were enjoying this?"

"I was, but you need to slow down."

"No, I don't."

As I had predicted in my mind, the final tree fell onto the road in front of us, possibly leading to a collision that would have killed us at the speed we were doing. To this end, I pulled on Nathan's handbrake to get the car to stop. Thankfully, it's one of those new electric ones, instead of the old hydraulic ones. I mean, they're not as fun to use when drifting, but in cases like these, I'm glad it is electric.

Thankfully the car stopped maybe five metres away from the fallen tree, and not even a second after we stopped, a powerful looking stream of water burst out of the fallen tree, although I guessed that this was a burst water pipe.

"Phew," Nathan commented, turning his head towards me with relieved features on his face. "Good thing the brakes and handbrakes still work, right?"

I just gave him this glare that told him it was best he stopped talking... which worked, as he then developed a sheepish grin.

"Eh heh, what I meant to say was-"

"We're lucky you had someone like me who actually has a pair of working eyeballs instead of trying to be a Ken Block wannabe," I finished harshly, before turning to the others. "You two alright?"

There was silence for several seconds, before Thomas spoke up.

"Never do that again."

Sonic was stupefied to say the least.

"Sonic?"

No response.

"Sonic."

Still no response, still stuck in his trance and still staring at the tree like a deer in headlights.

"SONIC!"

Sonic woke up from his trance.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"That was so cool!"

"Come again?"

"That was unlike anything I've ever experienced!"

"So you enjoyed it?"

"Yeah! Ponies would love this sort of thing! If we get the cars to work in Equestria, could we make a car that's based on performance?"

"You mean like a supercar?" Thomas asked, while Nathan got out of the car.

"What's a supercar?"

"A supercar is a car that's designed to go fast, while looking beautiful and sounding great at the same time."

"So is this a supercar?"

"Not really," Thomas replied, pulling out his phone. "This is considered a super-saloon, but it isn't a supercar. I'll show you what a supercar looks like, or one of them, anyway."

Sonic Blaze seemed to be interested in Thomas' phone. "What's that?"

"It's my mobile phone."

"A what?"

"A mobile phone. It allows for communication all across my world, so long as you and whoever you're trying to contact has mobile signal reception."

"What if you don't?"

"Well," he began as he unlocked his phone. "You're buggered, I suppose. Anyway, here's that supercar I was talking about. This one is called the McLaren 720S. I wonder what you'll make of... this-"

"Wow!" Sonic exclaimed, his eyes widening at the sight of the car. "That's amazing!"

"That's really nothing compared to some more... extreme designs," Thomas replied, swiping his phone along to another image. "Here's the Apollo Intensa Emozione..."

"That..." Sonic replied, struggling to find words to describe the IE. "That thing looks... stunning... and it looks kind of evil as well..."

I looked out front and saw Cadence, along with Nathan and an engineer pony with a safety hat. I saw that she had lifted the tree and was now using her magic to do something with the water pipe. Seeing as Thomas was now complaining at the 'ridiculous' price of the car and blabbing on about how it's nothing more than a suped-up Ferrari (no idea where he got that one from), I got out of the car and walked over to the trio.

"Hello, Jack," Cadence sighed as she saw me approach.

"Hi, Cadence," I replied. "What's the matter?"

"Well, things have been getting a little out of hoof. I tasked Spike in making sure Twilight wasn't awakened so she could be ready for doing her tasks when she woke up, but he started making decisions on Twilight's behalf. I believe this may have been a result of his actions."

"Eh... a bit like TVR, I suppose." I commented absentmindedly, unaware I had said it out loud.

"What was that?"

"What?"

"Yo said something along the lines of, 'a bit like TVR'. So I was just wondering what you meant by that?"

"Well, TVR was a sports car company back in the day, especially when I was growing up, when Peter Wheeler owned the company. They made some mental cars over the years: the Cerbera, the Chimera, the Griffith, and, if he had a bit more bravery, the Speed 12, what would have been the fastest car in the world. The cars were mental, and unsafe, but that's what made them good. Any normal idiot who is used to Traction Control and ABS-"

"ABS?"

"Anti-Lock Braking System. Stops the wheels from locking up when braking, so it's useful for cornering."

"I see."

"But anyway," I continued. "Any normal guy who takes that technology for granted will find a TVR very difficult to control. It takes a skilled driver to get the most out of a TVR. But, about 13 years ago, Peter Wheeler sold the company to a Russian businessman called Alexander Smolensky, who then gave it as a gift to his three-year-old son, Nikolai."

"He gave it as a-"

"I'm joking about that," I laughed. "Nikolai bought the company himself, and he's older than me, but his business decisions, especially for TVR, destroyed the company. For more of the time he owned the company, he had laid off most of the workers and was faffing about, transferring and splitting the company like nobody's business. No pun intended."

Cadence laughed. "I wouldn't have said anything about that, quite honestly."

"But he said he was going to make new models and make 2,000 cars a year by 2008, nearly ten years ago," I continued, pulling out my phone. "I can imagine the business meeting looking something like this..."

Cadence and Nathan laughed, with the worker having walked away by that point.

"Don't be ridiculous, Jack," Nathan said while laughing.

I laughed. "He said he was going to make the TVR Sagaris 2, with the original Sagaris being the last model TVR ever made. Then his dad came out and pulled him back inside, saying he shouldn't be up that late because it's a school night."

Nathan laughed even more. "You're not letting this go, are you?"

"Sorry, I'm going too far," I laughed. "But thankfully, Nikolai no longer owns the company and the new Griffith is coming, next year. But this example shows that if you take control of an industry in a field you know nothing about, that's what happens."

"I suppose the same thing happened with Spike. Speaking of which, I'll need to check on him. The main summit hall got flooded and Spike was there. I'll need to see if he managed to get rid of the water."

"We'll come with you," Nathan added quickly. "We're not doing anything else anyway."

"What about your meeting with Sonic Blaze?"

"He's in the car anyway, we can continue at the castle."

A few minutes later, everybody was gathered in the main summit hall, where lots of items were lying around broken, and the telltale signs that water had indeed flooded the hall. The statue from earlier lay broken on the floor, all of the individual pieces lying on the floor in a mess.

Twilight, to put it plainly, was not a happy bunny.

"A few decisions?!" Twilight voiced out loud, obviously not impressed with the results of Spike's decision-making, judging from the pacing around the hall and looking at the damage caused.

"Well, maybe more than a few," Spike began, trying to find a way out of the situation that I knew would only be rectified with him admitting his mistakes. "But I had good intentions! Honest!"

Spike stood there for several seconds, seeming to feel the glare that Princess Cadence was giving him. Eventually, he turned around and saw that Cadence was not impressed by what he was saying. "Until I... didn't anymore."

"I'm sorry, Twilight," he continued, feeling ashamed by his actions. "I guess I got a little carried away. It-it just felt so good to have ponies caring about my opinions on such important matters."

"I guess I was just enjoying feeling like a princess," he finished, looking to the floor and avoiding eye contact with anybody.

Twilight walked over to Spike, having accepted his apology. "Well, Spike, one of the most important things a princess can do is realise when she's made a mistake and fix it."

"How do I do that?" Spike asked in confusion as Cadence walked over.

"You could start with them," Cadence told Spike, pointing her hoof towards the large group of delegates, including Fancy Pants and a few other guests that attended the Gala.

All of whom looked very peeved.

Spike let out a sigh, before walking over to the stage.

"Uh, hi there, everypony," he began. "So I guess I owe you all a pretty big apology.

"It's funny. Here we are at a summit that brings together ponies from all across Equestria, and all I could think about was myself. You all came here to celebrate the things that make each of our cities so unique and special. But instead of getting into the spirit of things like all of you, I used my friend's position to make myself feel good."

As he finished his apology speech, he walked over and picked up a gem that was lying on the floor, with his depressed look turning into that of determination, and to my shock, he started trying to rebuild the statue, albeit to no avail. The gems simply weren't fitting together.

That was, until Fancy Pants decided to use his magic to put it in the right place. "The Canterlot ruby goes here, old sport."

This was quickly followed by a mare with winter-like clothing (yes, winter clothing for a species that has fur) putting her gem next to it and speaking in what I'm guessing was a strong Canadian accent. "And ours goes here, don't 'cha know?"

Shortly after, everypony joined in, putting their gems in their respective places on the statue.

How they knew exactly where theirs were and how they managed to do it without adhesives is still beyond me, even after all these countless decades of it sitting in the centre of the city.

Eventually, the statue was complete, its glory restored to what it was at ten this morning. The mare in said statue gleamed like the sea on a hot summer's day near a beach on the Bahamas.

I would have said like a diamond, but that realistically doesn't really say all that much...

"Does this mean you forgive me?" Spike asked hopefully.

"Sure!" One of the delegates replied. "You know, the whole idea of the statue is that when each of us plays our own small part, it adds up to somethin' great."

"Quite," Fancy added. "Just like how all our cities make up the beautiful land of Equestria!"

Without further ado, Cadence started speaking. "I hereby dedicate the Citizens of Equestria statue to everypony who plays their part, no matter how big or how small!"

All of the ponies in the hall began cheering for the new dedicated statue, and as a celebratory gesture, some "flowers" were given to Spike, for his apology and efforts.

Upon closer inspection, however, guess what the plant was, or what it did?

Spike started sniffing, and his eyes became bloodshot, with swelling underneath his eyes. "Aww, come ON!!"

Everybody in the room began panicking, including the Princesses... and for good reason too, as Spike inhaled to sneeze again, and DESTROYED the statue from what I'm told is the SECOND time.

"The statue," The winter dressed delegate whispered. "It's been destroyed... again.

"Well," Thomas began. "You could always-"

"HOW COULD YOU ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN?!" Fancy shouted at a fairly loud volume towards the pony who handed Spike the "flowers". "This was supposed to be trimmed to avoid this!"

"Hey, don't blame me," the older stallion said, pointing to a worker in the crowd. "These were just given to me by that fellow over there."

"Hey! Don't blame me!" the worker in question retorted. "These weren't trimmed for a specific reason!"

Soon, an argument broke out between this group and others in the hall, soon becoming what could be described as pass the parcel. The only ones in the hall not arguing were Twilight and Cadence, both of whom were trying (and failing) to control the crowd, and the three of us, who were just pained by all of this.

Eventually, I snapped.

"WILL EVERYBODY IN THIS BLOODY HALL SHUT UP!"

This quickly gained everybody in the hall's attention, even the Princesses. Deciding to capitalise on the silence, I spoke again. "Will you lot stop complaining and getting at each other's throats about the smallest things? You all built the statue up again not even two minutes ago, saying it's a symbol of friendship and tolerance, and when it gets destroyed again, you all decide to play the blame game on each other as if it's a game of pass the parcel! You need to grow up and stop bitching about stuff that's already happened. You all need to admit your mistakes and stop acting so infantile towards each other, it's sickening."

Thomas and Nathan started clapping for me, but everybody else in the hall, bar the Princesses and Spike, looked at each other, many with guilt on their faces, taking in what I just lectured them about. It didn't matter to me, though, as I had already turned on the spot and walked out of the hall.

The rest of the day was pretty boring after that. Sonic said he was going to speak to various businesses to see if we could get the necessary equipment to build Equestria's first car, and have it on sale for the end of next year. We also agreed to recreate Nathan's M3 in a similar style, except toning down on the sportiness to make it more efficient and more eco-friendly.

After he left to go back to where he was staying, I spent the rest of the day doing practically nothing. Nothing happened, and nothing was all that interesting, since most of the conferences at the Summit sounded extremely boring at the time.

There was a period of time, at dinner, that was sort of interesting. While the other Princesses were talking about the summit, Celestia was looking preoccupied. Curious as to what was wrong, I spoke up.

"Is everything okay, Celestia?"

"I'm fine, thank you, Jack," Celestia replied, before sighing and looking somewhat nervous again. "It's just that..."

"It's just... what?"

"I was wondering..." she began nervously, blushing in a similar fashion to earlier on. "If you would like to... spend some time together... alone."

"Alone?" I asked, confused by her behaviour. Then the penny dropped. "You mean... a date?"

The blush getting redder was enough to give me the answer, but she still nodded anyway. I turned away in shock, not knowing how to respond to such a request.

"I..." I began, beginning to find my words. "I would certainly like to join you... but are you sure?"

"Yes. I would like to get to know you better."

In the ensuing conversation, we agreed that we would meet on Friday night and go to a restaurant in the heart of Canterlot that specialised in seafood, called The Daily Catch.

Soooo original.

Meanwhile, everyone around us was still oblivious to said conversation, and also completely oblivious that Celestia had even asked me out in the first place.

And even with everything that was going on with potential business ventures and partnerships, not to mention the engineering involved in making the cars, phones and everything else, my date with Celestia was the only thing I could actually think about that night.

Chapter 20 - A Date With a Princess of Equestria

The two days leading up to my date with Princess Celestia consisted of me working at the cafe where we met Sonic at. They were more than happy to have me working there, as ponies were, apparently, interested in seeing what I was doing, so I brought in more customers as a result.

I don't know if the place was always that busy, but I'll take French Press' word for it.

French Press was the manager of the cafe in question. With the whole "she's a pony" thing aside, she was a very attractive mare, with cream-like fur and her auburn mane tied back into... a ponytail. She was happy, laid back and rather nice whenever I saw her around. However, she could also be very stern when she needed to be, as a snooty noble found out the hard way on my second day of working there.

"What's that thing doing here?" the rancid voice could be heard yelling as he stamped his hoof onto the floor, clearly showing his contempt towards me.

I was about to answer with a quip of my own, but fortunately French Press wasn't having any of his behaviour.

"He's NOT a thing, you idiot. He's a rather nice man who's just working here for us."

"The only idiot here is you," he replied harshly looking away with a veneer of superiority. "For hiring that thing to work here."

My mind suddenly put together his attitude and something in the papers. "Hold on a minute. You're that columnist for the Canterlot Chronicle that slandered us as 'sentient primates' and said that we 'belong in a zoo'."

He laughed. "Indeed I did, but I only speak the truth."

"Clearly not, if you seem to be basing your argument of what your boss thinks of us."

"And what's wrong with that? You shouldn't be working here, ape. You should be in the dungeons where you belong. I'm not ordering from here until you're gone."

"GOOD!" French Press' voice cut across loudly, startling the stallion.

Seeing he was silent, French Press continued. "I'm not tolerating your rampant xenophobia and racism anywhere near my cafe. I don't know why you would even find it remotely acceptable to behave in such a manner towards other beings that are a different species to you."

"Well I-"

"I don't care if you find it acceptable in your house. It's my cafe and it's NOT acceptable here. I can see your hateful behaviour towards him and I'm not serving ponies like you who think you can make comments like that and think you own everything. GET OUT OF MY CAFE AND DON'T COME BACK!"

Wow, she does have a hot temper, I thought.

A stare off ensued between the stallion and French Press, all of the ponies inside the cafe watching in shock. Eventually, after what must have been fifteen solid seconds, French Press used her horn to LEVITATE him out of the cafe. She spoke again after she had slammed the door shut.

"Anyone that agrees with him can get their flank out of my cafe."

Everybody gets back to drinking their lattes or cups of tea, albeit some looking nervous in case they say something that might get them kicked out.

French Press smiled and turned back to me. "Okay, you. Show's over. Let's get back to work."

I laughed. "Yes, ma'am."

So much better than the boss of my job on Earth.

Anyway, apparently she was quite hot-tempered when stuff like that happens in her cafe. But that aside, she was really down-to-earth with her employees, you could talk to her like a friend.

So, with my nerves with my date with Celestia beginning to get to me, I decided to ask her about dating in Equestria to see if there's anything I needed to be careful of.

You know, some things may be acceptable on Earth that aren't here...

"Hi there, Jack. How are you doing?" French Press asked.

"I'm fine here," I replied.

"If you need anything, just ask."

"I'll keep that in mind," I replied.

French Press smiled, and turned around to walk back to wherever she had gone before. It was then that I realised that now was probably a good time to get some answers. So, as a result, I called out again.

"Actually, French Press..."

French Press turned on the spot to face me again. "Yeah?"

"There is..." I began nervously, not quite entirely sure of how to word my question. "One thing... Can I ask a question?"

"That depends," she replied, smirking as she trotted back towards me. "What type of question?"

"Well, uh... I'm going on a date with somepony. Is there anything I should avoid doing?"

"Oh, you're going on a date? With who?"

I paused and breathed out. "Princess Celestia."

"I'm sorry, what was that?"

I found my voice and spoke normally. "Princess Celestia."

"PRINCESS CELESTIA?!"

I meekly nodded my head as I sat down on a chair, to show I wasn't joking. "She offered me a place to stay in the castle near to her chambers, and she asked me two days ago if I wanted to go on a date with her tomorrow..."

French Press blinked in surprise and stood silent for a few seconds, seeming to take in what I said. She stepped out of her stunned state and put a hoof on my shoulder.

"Well, I'm guessing she likes you for who you are, so if you're going on a date with her, and all of the usual etiquette aside... just be yourself, and I'm sure you'll be fine."

I'll admit, I wasn't entirely sure about what French Press was saying to me, but from the sound of it, it was probably the best option I had. I looked back up to her, and I remember smiling a little at her advice. "Thanks, French Press."

"No problem. Now, where are you going to go?"

"We're going to this restaurant that specialises in seafood called The Daily Catch."

French Press' eyes lit up like a Christmas tree. "I've heard of that place. It's getting a lot of good reviews, but it's quite... posh, so I'd wear something rather smart."

I pondered this for a few seconds. "I could wear the suit I wore for the Gala..."

"Excellent, you'll be good for this date then. Now, come on... these customers aren't wanting to serve themselves."

I laughed to myself. "Yes, ma'am."

Like I said, she was a manager, but she acted more like a friend to her employees than others.

One of my bosses on Earth could have taken notes before he was fired.

Anyway, as I left work and headed back to the castle, French Press wished me luck for my date. I thanked her and kept walking to prepare myself at the castle. After the brief five minute walk to the castle, I walked straight back to my room and stripped myself of any clothes once I had closed my room's door.

An hour afterwards, I was still fussing over what I was wearing would be somewhat acceptable and that I had enough cologne on. I knew that Celestia was just down the hall, so I tried to keep it down, but I was still fussing over whether I was in an acceptable state for going on a date with a Princess.

Eventually, I decided I was ready, so I looked to the clock and saw it was just after quarter past six. Seeing that I had arranged to meet her at the restaurant for half past six, I decided I was late enough already and ~~rushed~~ briskly walked out of the castle. It took me a couple of minutes, but I was on my way to the restaurant, with the pressure already beginning to get to me.

When I did arrive at the street, I looked at my watch to make sure I wasn't late. Thankfully, I was a couple of minutes early, so I slowed down and took in what the city was like during the evening. There was... a glow, if you will, to the city. It was beautiful to see from the castle, but here, I was closer to the city and I could feel the slightly warm temperature that matched the atmosphere.

Some ponies I walked past had a glance at me, confused as to what I was doing in formal attire, but most went back to their eating or talking they were doing previously. The ones who were still staring at me, however, didn't bother me one bit; for I had arrived at the restaurant.

French Press certainly wasn't kidding when she said the place was fancy. The sign was illuminated with multicoloured letters, all flowing as if they were neon lights like in Las Vegas. The place was absolutely standing out from all the other cafes and restaurants that were on the same street, but the lights weren't bright to the point of 'cover your eyes'.

Taking several deep breaths, I opened the door to find a lively group of ponies having their dinners and talking to each other. After my breathing returned to being somewhat normal, I walked over to the mare who was standing at the reception.

"Good evening, sir. What can I do for you?" the mare asked in a posh accent that was somehow not annoying.

"Uhh, hello there," I began, looking around to see if there was any sign of Celestia. "I believe a reservation was made here under Princess Celestia?"

The mare just looked stunned at me.

"Excuse me, are you okay?" I asked.

The mare shook her head. "Yes, I'm fine, and I apologise. The Princess is on the second floor, at table number 4."

"Thank you," I replied, walking to the steps.

"No problem, sir. Have a good evening."

I walked past the numerous tables, gaining quite a few stares from the nobles dining at the restaurant. I saw Fancy Pants there with Fleur Dis Lee, but they did not notice me walking across the floor, as they were too busy enjoying themselves.

When I did get to the stairs, I saw two royal guards standing at the base of the stairs. They soon noticed me and the one on the left began talking. "Mister Luss, Her Majesty is waiting for you up the stairs."

"Thank you," I replied as the guard on the right moved the rope that was being used to prevent entry as such. I then thought about something as I hit the first step.

Do they number the floors like they do in the UK, or the US?

Just to make sure, I turned around. "Oh, by the way, which way is it from there?"

The guard on the right pointed up the stairs. "Just walk up and take the second left. Why?"

"Just checking," I replied, before walking up the stairs, the nerves eating me away with each step I took. Standing outside the door, I sighed to try and calm my nerves, before slowly pushing the door open.

As I imagined, the second floor was empty bar Celestia, who was sitting at table four, a table for two that sat at a window which was essentially a view of the entire city, and to a lesser extent, some of Equestria. In fact, you could even make out Ponyville from where she sat. The thing that most surprised me about her, however, was her attire for the event.

Or more specifically, her lack of one.

My awe must have been apparent to her, as she giggled. "Hello there, Jack. I must thank you for coming on this wonderful evening."

I laughed to myself, albeit somewhat uneasily, as I walked over to the table. "Hello, Celestia. I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long."

"Oh, don't worry about that," she sighed happily as I sat down. "You're still here, and that's what matters to me. Besides, you're on time..."

At this last statement, her eyes became slightly downcast and she looked down towards the table. Not bearing to see her upset, I spoke up.

"Hey, are you alright?" I asked, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

She looked back up to me with a small smile on her face. "Yes, I'm fine."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

She sighed. "From personal experience, bottling it up doesn't help... Yes, I would."

"Alright, I'm listening."

Celestia took a deep breath. "When I was younger, centuries younger, I met a stallion in Canterlot who I thought I would want to be with. He was young, fairly attractive, and seemed to be very sincere and kind. So, after meeting each other a few times, I initiated a relationship with him.

"We did everything together: we had dates in Canterlot, Manehattan and Vanhoover, we talked about everything. I even... lost my virginity to him one day.

"I later found out that he was just using me as a token to boost his reputation and money, and that he was having an affair with another mare. When I found out, I was quite upset, and tried to discuss it with him. He didn't want to talk to me after that... so I stripped him of his nobility and sold off his businesses. I suppose that is the reason I have put off dating for a long time..."

Celestia looked up to me, and looking into her eyes, I could see the emotions that were trapped behind those magenta ayes of hers. There were signs of age, tiredness, stress and pain... so much emotional pain was trapped in there, it was almost screaming to be let out.

"That's... disgraceful," I began, not sure of what to make of her confession... I felt some emotions varying from pity, and sadness to some form of anger, disgusted at how someone could be used like that for their own gain.

Her eyes are beautiful...

"Thank you, Jack."

I felt like I had been put on the spotlight at Stalag Luft III. "Wh-what?"

"You said my eyes were beautiful," Celestia replied with a giggle.

I could almost feel myself going red in the face. "I- I did?"

Celestia began to laugh as she realised I hadn't intentionally said that, and by that, I meant she actually laughed, not the reserved giggle that she would normally do in public. To avoid the embarrassment, I picked up the menu and had a look through it. Surprisingly, there was a wide selection of fish available, whether it be cod, haddock, salmon, tuna or something else.

I wouldn't be surprised if the chef's a griffon or something.

I looked up to Celestia. "What are you having?"

"I think I'll have... the prawn pilau," she replied, taking a sip of red wine from the glass she had in front of her. "What about yourself?"

I thought about that for a few seconds. "I'll be having the salmon."

Almost as if on queue, a waiter walked over to the table and bowed. "Are you ready to order?"

"Yes, I think we are," Celestia replied.

"What would you like, Your Majesty?"

"Can I have the prawn pilau, please?"

The stallion wrote this down on his notebook. "I'll see to it at once. What about yourself, Mr Luss?"

"Uhh, can I have the salmon, please?"

"Of course. Any drinks for yourself?"

"What forms of white wine do you have?"

"We have Pinot Grigio, Chardonnay, Muscat..."

"A glass of Pinot Grigio for me, please."

He wrote this down and looked back up to both of us. "Alright. Excuse me, Your Highness."

With that, he turned on the spot and left the room, leaving just me and Celestia.

"It is certainly a wonderful evening," Celestia said after a few seconds of silence, looking out of the window and over the city. "I'll lower the sun fully later."

I did the same. "It certainly is."

After about another twenty-five minutes of discussion, we had discussed a variety of topics besides from politics, which, to quote Celestia herself: 'should be avoided as much as possible'. We had discussions about my interests, her interests whenever she had free time (cake was mentioned to be a favourite of hers), and various different memories we had from our pasts.

"...so me and Brodie went aff after that, and we wrapped his car in cling film during the lunch break..." I continued my story on my revenge prank against my Maths teacher who falsely accused me of leaning graffiti on his blackboard, and gave me a detention as a result. "We wrapped his entire car with cling film... and it was one of those old Jaguar XJ series cars from the seventies, so it made him look like a tool.

"But that wasn't even the worst part of that. The worst thing for him was that we ended tucking the end of it behind another part of cling film itself, so unless he could clearly make it out, he wasn't getting back into his car any time soon. He tried to find out who was responsible, but nobody came forward. So he ended up having to unwrap the entire car himself. Everybody in our class lined up at the end of the day to laugh at him as he drove away."

Celestia started laughing like she had done earlier. "That reminds me of a similar prank Luna pulled on myself a couple of years after she returned. At Cadence and Shining Armour's wedding, there was a massive wedding cake there for everypony that attended to enjoy. There was also a big chocolate cake that wasn't quite as large as the wedding cake itself, but still quite large. When nopony else was around, I tried to cut myself a slice, but..."

"It was fake, wasn't it?"

Celestia giggled. "Indeed. I wasn't amused, but Luna was laughing for quite some time."

"I don't think I've ever seen her that happy since her return..." she finished with her eyes becoming downcast, as did her ears, which drooped down lower than Black Monday.

I put what I hoped was a comforting arm on her shoulder. "That must be horrible, having to banish your own sister to save your subjects..."

"You have no idea..."

"I kind of do."

Celestia looked up at me. "You do?"

In that moment, I panicked and removed my hand, as I realised I had said this out loud unintentionally.

I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.

"How?"

I looked away at that moment, really uncomfortable over what I had done, knowing full and well that if Nathan found out, I was D O N E fucked. "I'd rather not talk about it right now."

"Are you sure, Jack?" she replied, taking her turn in putting her hoof on my shoulder. "It's probably for the best if you don't bottle up your emotions."

"I'm okay, Celly. I'll probably end up telling you anyway, but not now. The wounds haven't quite healed yet."

Celestia smiled. "If that's what makes you feel comfortable, I'll leave it there. On another note..."

As Celestia finished this, she smirked, making me somewhat nervous.

"What?"

"You called me Celly."

I became panicky again. "I did?"

"Yes, but don't worry yourself about it. I have no problem with it; it's nice to have someone saying a name like that instead of being the 'Princess of Equestria' all of the time."

At that point, our orders came through. An unicorn pony, a mare this time, came through holding our meals in magic. She started with Celestia's food. "One prawn pilau as requested for the Princess-"

"Thank you," Celestia replied as her prawn dish was set down, which looked amazing to eat, but unfortunately for me, I don't like prawns.

"-and salmon for a Mister Luss."

"Thank you," I replied as said salmon was set down.

"Is there anything else I can get either of you?"

Celestia looked to me. "Do you need anything, Jack?"

"No, thanks."

Turning back to the waitress, she replied. "No, we are fine, thank you."

"As you wish, Your Highness," the waitress replied with a bow, before turning and leaving us again.

Then, there was that silence again. That silence that wasn't awkward or bad in any way, but still felt off, somehow. This however, was broken a few seconds later by Celly.

"I'm starving!"

And with that, she started to eat her dish in the most un-princess-y behaviour you could possibly think of.

And yes, I know that's not a word. Shut up.

But I wasn't concerned or surprised at the time... mainly because I didn't care.

You know why?

"So am I!" I blurted suddenly, and proceeded to do the exact same thing.

If any guards were watching, they were probably in for a shock.

Once we had finished eating, we got up and out of the restaurant and went outside. Celestia shocked me by saying that she'd pay instead of me, but she refuted all of my offers to pay instead. I wasn't sure why she was doing this, but I still went with it regardless.

Outside, we were laughing about us eating in the most undignified way possible.

"I'd never have thought that someone in your position would behave in such a manner!" I laughed.

Celestia kept laughing for a while as well. Once she had calmed down, she spoke again. "I haven't had that much fun in years! I have to thank you, Jack. I've needed someone like you in my life for a long while now, someone who I can be a normal pony with, outside of family."

"It's not a problem, Princess," I replied honestly. "It's not like I'm going anywhere anyway."

Her expression then became somewhat sultry as her eyelids closed half-way. "You know, Jack, there's been something I've been wanting to say to you..."

I raised my eyebrows at her behaviour. "Which is...?"

"..."

"What is it?" I repeated.

At this moment, Celestia didn't reply. Instead, she leaned her head forward to mine and planted her lips on mine. At first, I was shocked, but soon enough I find myself placing my hand on her cheek and following suit.

Shortly after, we pulled away from each other, ignoring the gasps around us. I spoke first. "That was-"

*FLASH*

Guess who happened to ruin the moment?

Turning round, we saw the culprits in the form of paparazzi photographers.

Oh, boy.

"HE KISSED THE PRINCESS!" one of the paps shouted.

The flashes of photographs being taken was beginning to drive us blind. Through gritted teeth, I managed to speak to Celestia.

"What now?"

"Get on my back," she whispered back.

"What?"

"Just do it!"

I hastily followed, surprised she could support my body weight.

"Are you comfortable?" she hastily asked.

"Yep," I replied, unsure of what she was trying to do.

To my amazement, she just sprung up into the air and started to fly away from the crowd of paps, and back towards the castle. I looked back, and took a good view over Canterlot from the air.

So this is what it could be like if humans had wings.

Eventually we landed again, and I more or less fell off of Celestia's back, causing her to turn towards me with a concerned expression I have only seen once from my father when I was younger.

"Jack!"

Celestia used her left hoof to help me back onto my feet. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, don't worry yourself about me."

"Are you sure?"

"It wasn't that great of a fall."

"Okay, if you say so," Celestia replied with a giggle. "Thank you for joining me. Whilst it has been an absolute pleasure having you for company, I must be going now to lower the sun completely. I must thank you again for joining me."

"It's no problem, Celly," I replied, feeling my cheeks redden as I said the nickname.

"Goodbye for now, Jack."

To my absolute shock, she went and pecked me on the cheek quickly. A small blush was visible on her cheeks, but for the most part she just giggled at my open mouth, before turning around and leaving.

That was the only thing I could think about when I lay in my bed that night, as I tried to ponder the outcomes of a possible relationship.

Let's hope this doesn't end up like the last one.

Author's Note

Sorry for the late update. I had planned to get it out last week but other things got in the way, and I'm currently starting work on a second story. I also had a bit of writer's block for this chapter.

Chapter 22 - The Garden Opening (and other stuff...)

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 1 - Not Your Typical Sunday Afternoon Drive

Sometimes you can get into really stupid or weird situations, and it's entirely your fault, while other times it can be someone else's fault. Sometimes it can be nobody's fault. Sometimes you can never tell.

That final one applies to me as to our... situation.

Oh, I said our situation, didn't I? I should probably explain from the beginning.

My name's Jack Luss. When this began, I was a thirty-six, nearly thirty-seven year old software engineer. I'll explain as we go on. I was single, had a good paying job, am interested in cars, at the time specifically sporty saloon cars, and had a group of friends that were interested in cars as well.

Your average Joe, then.

Except I'm not anymore.

My two best friends were Thomas Cooper, who, at the time this began, was 35, had a relationship with a woman named Cassie (I still have no idea how he does that while he drives an Audi), and worked as an electrical engineer, and Nathan Lang, who was 34, single like myself and worked as a maintenance manager. We were all good mates, we had a good laugh at the pub on a Friday night, occasionally doing some Uber driving when we feel like it and all own sporty saloon cars. Which are German. Lucky us, eh?

I owned a black Mercedes-Benz C 63 AMG, Thomas owned a red Audi S4 and Nathan had a blue BMW M3. So, you can imagine a bit of a... rivalry, formed between ourselves. Which, I have to say, was a bit pointless because the Merc was obviously the best car of the three, but that's not the point.

I remember that Friday as if it were yesterday. The night where we went down to the pub and decided to settle it once and for all, who had the best car out of all of us. It was just the normal thing at first, talking about work, things that had happened that week, nothing out of the usual at first.

But things got... let's say things got a little heated.

"So, this customer decides to be real cheeky today, of all days!" Nathan started explaining, clearly annoyed at this girl's attitude after he finished his Uber shift. "She came over to my car and says, 'Can ye just, like, hurry up? Ah havenae got much time!' and I say to her, 'You should've been ready earlier, then.' and she decides to start getting all cheeky with the 'Who do dae you 'hink yer talkin tae' crap. I had to put up with that shite for seventeen miles. Sometimes I really do hate being an Uber driver, HONESLY."

I must give Nathan credit for not losing his cool over customers like that. Out of the three of us, Nathan gets this behaviour the most and he has only lost his temper once. But that was his story to tell, not mine.

Probably got it for driving a BMW, but oh well.

"I know man, it's a load of bollocks sometimes," I reply, genuinely feeling sorry for him, because there's not a lot you can do when you're on the motorway. I then cheekily grin and say, as a joke, obviously, "You might get that for driving a Beemer though."

Now in a normal situation, Nathan would have laughed this off and then slag me about my Merc, and Thomas would just laugh at us from the sidelines as we end up constantly slagging each other until half 9 when we all leave and go home and do what we wanted on the Saturday.

But Nathan was, of course, quite annoyed by his day, since Friday nights were a lot of the time quite bad, and he might have had a few drinks, so things... may have been different in those circumstances.

"Ex-CUSE ME, JACK, but at least I don't drive around in some boring, black businessman's car because I lack actually being different, ya dick!" Nathan retorted.

And let's just say... things escalated from there.

In fact, it got to the point where Thomas got involved, and eventually after five minutes of low key arguing (only because we didn't want to disturb everyone else), Nathan stared at us with narrow eyes for several seconds, neither Thomas or myself being aware of what he was going to say. We looked at each other, bracing ourselves for a shouting match... that never came.

Instead, Nathan sat back in his chair, with a sort of smug look on his face that made me wonder what he was going to say, since we were expecting him to go full rage mode, maybe give my mum a run for her money.

"OK," He finally said to us, completely catching us off guard, as I was expecting him to say something completely different. "How aboot we settle this once and fir all?"

Thomas and I looked at each other, sly grins on our faces, knowing that he was asking us if we wanted to race him. We turn back to him and accepted.

"Sure thing, pal," I replied cockily. "Where is the finishing line, if you have one in mind?"

"In that case," he starts, shifting his eyes between the pair of us, the smug look still on his face, as if he'd been holding a royal flush. "We'll starting on the Sunday, at George Square, 5 o'clock. You can take any route from the start you like, but you've got to go through Erskine, whether you cross the Erskine bridge or go down the M8 and follow the M8 until you get to the Inverkip Marina."

I brighten up at hearing that. The Kip Marina was where the Boat Show was held each year. It was always a blast to go to - and not necessarily because of the boats. A lot of nice cars were shown off there - Tesla, Morgan, Bentley, Maserati, Porsche, McLaren - I could go on but that's going to take up too much time. We always had a load of fun whenever we went there - and this year was no different.

But, as per usual, I digress.

"Let me guess," Thomas said, wearing a similar smile to myself. "The Chartroom is the place we finish at?"

Nathan, still looking like a smug Simon Cowell, points his finger at Thomas and replies "That's the one. First one there has the fastest car - and the last one there..." he leans in close to us to finish what he is saying, "...has to pay for dinner."

I shot a smug smile myself towards Nathan, if he was asking for a race then he was asking to lose- both the race, and if Thomas wasn't stupid enough to go over the Erskine Bridge - then a large sum of money as well. "Bugger it. I'm in," I confirmed to him that I am definitely going to show up. "What about you, Coupsie?" I asked Nathan. Coupsie's just a nickname I gave him one night. I don't even know how it came about, but bugger it. It's not like it matters.

"Of course I'm in, ya dafty!" Thomas shot back, and then playfully slugs me in the arm. I laugh it off and turn back to Nathan.

"Excellent," he said, getting up at the same time and grabbing his coat. "So it's settled, then. 17:00, Glasgow Square. Then to the restaurant for 18:00, last one there has to pay. Deal?"

"Deal," Thomas and I said, almost synchronised, both of us, also getting up, preparing to leave. We've already paid our tab to the barman so we don't need to stay much longer. We shook hands with each other, Thomas and Nathan shaking first, then myself and Nathan, and finally myself and Thomas.

"In that case I shall see you train wrecks on Sunday." Thomas said to us both. "Until then - bye!" and with that he walked- no, staggered towards the door. He's definitely not working the Uber shift tomorrow.

And he has the audacity to call ME a train wreck!

Anyway, I decided to call it a day as well. This week has been a tough one and I figured I'd get some well earned rest. 40 odd hours of software development a week plus overtime is quite stressful for me, even if the pay is good.

"Nathan, see ya later, mate!" I called out to him as I was strolling out the front door and pull it open and began to walk to my car.

You see, unlike my friends, who can act like complete twats sometimes, I can actually set a limit for how much I can drink.

I unlock the car and get into it, and thanks to keyless entry, press the Start/Stop button to fire up the 4.0 Litre V8.

I'll never get used to how good that engine sounds.

And with that, I begin the drive back to my house in Partick, one of the better places to live in Glasgow. On a side note people always say to avoid the East End, and I would probably say the same thing. Every city has it's good and bad areas, and Glasgow is no different.

Eventually, I pull up beside my house and stop the engine. It's been a great night, apart from that fuss we had earlier. I'm sure we can just look past it.

I didn't know the time right now and there were no clocks so I looked at my watch. 22:21. Looks like we spent a bit longer at the pub than usual, I'm usually back for 5 past.

I grab the keys from my pocket and proceed to unlock the front door to my house. I made my way up to the second floor (or third floor if you call the ground floor the first floor) and got the key for my flat. I really don't care if living in a flat seems like a bad thing to others. If I can eat, sleep and live in it safely, then I don't care if it's detected or a flat or anything in between.

Once I was in, I got ready to sleep, as I'm really tired. This week has been a really hectic and tough one, so I'm glad I get to put my feet up, figuratively speaking. Sure, I had the Uber driving tomorrow, but it's not that bad. At least I'm wasn't going to wake up with a massive hangover tomorrow morning. *cough cough* Thomas *cough cough*

Soon I got into my bed and turned off my bedroom lamp off and got to sleep, surprisingly, not too long after.

Little did I know that life was going throw us all a massive curveball.

====================================

Saturday was as exciting as you could expect. Not a lot of customers were wanting a drive that day, which was wierd, but at least I didn't have to put up with some whiney college or uni students all day.

Eventually my shift ended so I had a few hours to kill until I decided to head home, so I went to the Cineworld with the IMAX and saw the Justice League movie that came out.

I walked out of the cinema disappointed. I was thinking maybe it wouldn't be trying too hard to be the Avengers and wouldn't be endless crappy looking CGI bullshit. Instead, I just watched DC's London has Fallen. Still, could be worse...

I decided to call it a day again and drove back to the house. I was going to do some work on my laptop at the house for a few hours, nothing too stressful, as I had literally nothing better to do.

Afterwards, I had enough and saved my work and shut down the laptop. I was going to take it tomorrow so I could possibly get some work done while we were at the restaurant. I closed the lid and set the computer and got changed for sleeping as usual. Heading back to the bed, I don't feel as tired as before but it was still 23:25 according to my alarm clock that sat on the cabinet and I wanted to get a relatively good sleep tonight because I sure as hell wasn't going to get one on the Sunday. I got to sleep again quickly after getting into bed, which is still unusual for me but I don't give a shit. Sleep is sleep. I might as well take it when I can.

====================================

Sunday was going to be quite a fun day. On Sunday we were going to find out who was the quickest at getting to the restaurant... and who was going to pay. And I knew the latter would not be me.

Unlikely, but still possible.

The rest of the day was me finishing some unfinished work, going on to Reddit, playing some Rainbow Six Siege on my PS4 and going to check Twitter and see who was saying what. But none of that matters.

I was the last one to arrive at George Square, at precisely 16:52. I headed down North Frederick Street and got to the Square.

As I drove in, I saw the other two had already parked their cars relatively close to each other and they were talking. They saw me and gestured me to come over. I moved into an empty spot, turned off the engine and got out. There was small talk for five minutes.

And then the time came for me to prove how much better my Mercedes was compared to the Audi and BMW.

Or so I thought.

"On the hour, the race begins, so get ready!" Nathan explains.

"Prepare to have the floor wiped with you and your cars!" Thomas bragged to both of us.

Did I ever mention that it used to be physically impossible for Thomas to ever be modest?

Heh... modesty. Thomas' worst nightmare.

Nathan started to count us down from ten, which he seemed make sound more serious as he got closer to zero, almost as if the British Grand Prix was about to start.

It's just a race on the M8, Nathan. Calm down.

"Three... Two... One... GO!"

With that, we ran to our cars and got in. Thanks to keyless entry and stuff, I was the first to start up, and I got out of George Square very quickly, followed relatively closely by Thomas. Nathan, on the other hand, could not start up his BMW first time. As the good friends that we were, we left him to try again.

We had two choices of where to go. We could either go over the Erskine Bridge, or we could take the M8. I took the M8, while Thomas, for some reason that was against all science, reasoning and logic took the Erskine road.

Later on I decided to call Thomas and see how he was doing.

"Jack..." was the response I got from the other end of the phone.

"Coupsie... Where are you now?" I ask him.

"I'm about to cross the Erskine Bridge in about two minutes, it was a lot quieter than I expected."

At this, I was extremely confused. There was no way he was just about to cross the Erskine Bridge and I hadn't passed it without him breaking the speed limit. Even if he had, he'd have to have sped past at least one of the speed cameras... If not having a police car chase him.

I may have been caught up in traffic, sue, but that was still really confused me.

"That means that yer... You're in front of me!" I exclaim.

I don't actually hear a boast from Thomas. Instead I hear, "Do ye know where Nathan is?"

"Aye, he's aboot a quarter of a mile back from where I am at the moment, he might be able to catch up with me in a couple o' minutes," I explained to Thomas.

"Right OK then Luss, I'll talk tae ye later, mate."

"See ya later."

With that, he hangs up, and I decided to pick up the pace.

"See you in hell, Nathan," I say to myself.

Within about two minutes, I drive a lot quicker than I was before (90mph) and end up driving underneath the curved road that follows the Erskine Bridge and sure enough, there was Thomas, turning onto the M8.

'I've got him.' I think to myself.

Unfortunately, though, Nathan had also caught up to us and it was neck and neck, with either myself or Nathan being able to overtake Thomas at any time.

For now, though, we all stayed in the same lane and there was nobody else on the motorway.

And that's when it happened.

A greyish coloured portal opened right in the middle of the road. It look like it has some force pulling everything towards it like a magnetic pulling a packet of paper clips towards it.

There was no way we'd stop in time. We just didn't have the distance.

Thomas fell through first, the wheels still spinning from his futile attempt in stopping the car. The portal, or wormhole, if you will, emitted white sparks the further the car fell through.

It was in that moment I realised I was next.

The car almost stopped fully when the car fell through. It was actually fast and simpler than I thought it would be. I landed upright on the other side and saw what looked like a terrace of houses to my left, and Thomas' Audi S4 to my front. Luckily I had stopped a small distance from the scarlet Audi so I had nothing to worry about. For the time being.

After a few seconds, Nathan's M3 followed suit. It continued for a few meters before coming to a halt. Shortly after this, the onyx portal got slightly larger for about three seconds before quickly imploding on itself, me watching from inside the car in awe at what I was witnessing. I guess going to the Rally is out of the question if I don't find a way back from here. Or going to the TCR and BTCC at Knockhill. BUGGER.

Sometimes I really do hate booking in advance.

Speaking of which, I never said where we ended up, did I?

Now that the portal was gone and I had no idea how to even bring it back, I get out of the car shut the door and take a glance at my surroundings, while Thomas got out of his car and did the same. What I saw was an absolute marvel to perceive.

It was like nothing I had ever seen before, the land was flat, but the buildings within the city were of... interesting architecture. Not that it was a bad thing, mind you. The most amazing thing about this city wasn't the architecture of the buildings, nor the city's long straight roads. It was the fact that I swore to myself, at the time, that the buildings looked like they were made from crystal. I later found out that they were, but that's not my point. And the height of the Crystal Castle in the centre of the city was... massive, to say the least.

You hear that, Dubai? Someone's giving you a run for your money!

Joking aside, the city was absolutely beautiful. I think it's probably one of the most drop-dead gorgeous places I have ever been to, and I've been to Toronto, Paris and Prague so that's saying quite a lot.

But that still really didn't answer the question which was burning at the back of our heads, which Thomas and I asked, coincidently, at the same time:

"Where the hell are we now?"

Let's say that we weren't quite prepared for the answer.

Chapter 21 - Equestria's First Racing Circuit?

Author's Note

I am SO sorry this chapter is very late. I've been putting my work into two other stories I have in the works, and balancing this out with work (at the moment) and other projects is taking its toll. Having writer's block doesn't help by any means, hence the slightly shorter chapter considering the time gap.

Chapter 21 - Equestria's First Racing Circuit?

"So, whereabouts are we headed again?" Nathan asked.

"To some abandoned E.U.P. base in Foaledo, just a couple of miles south of Canterlot," I replied as I drove down the mountain ~~train tracks~~ road to our destination, with Nathan sitting in the passenger seat.

Unfortunately, Thomas' ability to soak up magical radiation was causing some health issues for him, so on the day we drove down to Foaledo, which in turn was the Sunday after my date with Celestia, he was getting a magical / surgical operation to fit a force field that would protect his body from the radiation. The preparation was momentous, as this was apparently the first operation of its kind...

But that story was his to tell, not mine.

If only he had written about it before he passed away.

Anyway...

"Hopefully it isn't filled with mini-cabbers," Nathan joked, referring to the similarity between the names of Foaledo and Toledo, bringing out a chuckle from me.

If you don't get the joke, cars across the world have become iconic for their view as being taxis, for example, the Ford Crown Vic in New York, the London Taxi LT-series in... well, London, and Russia, especially Moscow, has the Lada Riva.

Scotland doesn't have one set car for the job, however. He have a multitude of different cars for use all around Scotland, particularly in the Glasgow and the West region... and all of them are as equally as dreary and pathetic as each other. You have Skoda Octavias, Skoda Superbs, Volkswagen Passats, Ford Mondeos, Vauxhall Insignias (Opel Insignias for anyone living outside of the UK), KIA Optimas, Toyota Avensises (Avensi?) and the worst of them all... the SEAT Toledo.

I don't think I've ever been in a car as boring as the Toledo. I think my English teacher was more interesting than that car, and he nearly bored me to death on a ten minute lecture on the differences between a colon and a semi-colon and its importance in writing!

If I ever have to sit in a Toledo ever again, I will saw my right arm off and beat myself to death with it.

"Hopefully not," I replied, turning off to the road that took us to Foaledo. "I don't need to be in a car that smells of sick and is basically a Jetta underneath."

"VW's idea of marketing is probably to just change the the badges, and not much else," Nathan replied. "Oh, and lying about your emissions helps, too.

"True. I mean, with the Mii, Up! and Citigo, they weren't even trying," I replied. "Who makes a city car THAT ugly?"

"It's not that bad..."

"Let me guess, you also think the hate to the S-Type was unjustified."

"It's not that bad looking of a car!"

"No, the one of the sixties was a thing of beauty. That Ford version which was basically a Lincoln, designed by someone who clearly didn't have a set of eyeballs, into a category just so Ford could improve sales at Jaguar, not caring about the fact that the old S-Type used to fit in the slot the XJ holds now..."

"But let's face it... your test drive of the S-Type R was better than you were expecting it to be."

...

"Okay, I can't argue with you there."

"Told you."

It took us another fifteen minutes to reach the outskirts of the city, and another 10 to find the military base that Celestia had told me about.

Nathan and I had decided to take the day off from working to explore an old royal guards base that could accommodate the car company that we would try to set up later. Celestia said that with a population of nearly 90,000 ponies and no major industry in the area, it would be an ideal place to set up a car plant if the company was successful. Unfortunately, Sonic Blaze couldn't attend due to other business matters.

On a side note, Celestia herself was apparently going to a friendship party in Ponyville, as there were apparently delegates from Yakyakistan who were improving relations with Equestria.

Pinkie, don't screw it up.

In addition to this, we wanted to drive on the base's runways, to see if there is a possibility that it could become Equestria's first permanent racing circuit. From what I read from Spitfire's letters to Nathan, all of Equestria's 'great' racing circuits were temporary ones in the cloud cities that were dismantled after use. These were mostly in the city of Cloudsdale, although there were some events held in Rainbow Falls and one in Las Pegasus as well. The permanent ones were all oval shaped, and were all dirt tracks.

Not so great for our cars in the long run.

But these old runways were different. From what we were told, there were two of them that cut at 120 degree angles, and taxiways that connected to each. These were made on a smooth stone surface, similar to concrete. I wasn't entirely happy that it wasn't asphalt that was there, but concrete is the next best thing.

When we pulled up to the side of it on the dirt track that we were using (and checking Nathan's back hadn't disintegrated), we got out of the car and looked at the old base that used to thrive nearly 20 years ago. It wasn't looking too bad for a building that was abandoned for nearly 20 years: there wasn't any moss/plants growing in the edges, the buildings weren't falling apart and the barrack logos were still clean (but not shiny).

"Shall we see what state they are in?" I asked as I shut the door of the car.

"Aye, let's go," he replied as I hopped over the fence and into the dirt on the other side. Thankfully, we didn't mind getting our old trainers wet.

A short walk later, we were at the west barracks, which was slightly smaller than the other two. It made up for being shorter, however, by being much taller than the other two. Pulling the doors open, we saw that the previous owners hadn't been bothered with removing any of the furniture, as was evident in the bunks.

"What do we do here?" Nathan asked. "Do we take out the furniture and tear down the internal walls or... what?"

"Well, we could remove the furniture if we can," I replied, looking at the furniture that was starting to look tatty. "But keep it, as it can be useful to us in the future. We'll probably need to tear the doors down to make room, but we'll worry about that later."

We continued to go through the different rooms in the barracks, seeing that if we tore down some of the walls, we would have more than enough space to work on the car. Moving through the other buildings, we found that that was also very much the case, with the only issue being that in one of the buildings, a wall was made out of metal that effectively halved the building, and that wouldn't be easy to get rid of.

But we decided to leave the floor plans aside, as we went back to do the thing we really wanted to do.

Fool about on the runways.

When we got back to the car, I got rid of most of the dirt on my shoes, before getting back in. Nathan did the same, albeit he was much quicker to do so than myself.

"Ready?" I asked, pressing the Start/Stop button as I fastened my seat-belt.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Nathan replied, repeating the seat-belt procedure, not seeming to notice or care that I had turned the traction control off.

Pressing the accelerator lightly, I pulled off from the spot and rode onto the concrete surface of the taxiway, picking up the pace once I was on a much smoother surface. Immediately, I saw a good idea for a racetrack in my head, and immediately decided to floor the accelerator, gradually letting out all 476 angry horses from the rear wheels, the speed keeping on climbing as I approached the end of the taxiway-like area.

60 mph. 80, 100, 120, 130...

Eventually, though, I had to slow down to attempt the corner, so about three hundred meters away, I started to brake, slowing to about 40 miles an hour, allowing the car to attempt the corner. As I flicked the tail sideways, I heard a yelp from Nathan, who was trying to not look scared on the surface.

The C 63 quickly sprinted down the other taxiway, with another route down back to the runway being an ideal hairpin turn, to test a car's handling. I therefore braked again, slowed to the appropriate speed, and tightly hugged the inside of the corner as I stepped on the accelerator again and let the turbochargers spool up and do their work.

As the speed kept climbing, I turned the car in the opposite direction and onto the runway, to test to see if lift off oversteer occurred. When going on the Knockhill, you have to lift off slightly to get round the Scotsman corner, due to the weight of the Merc.

Surprisingly, the corner was clean, and I belted down the runway. To mix things up, I decided to corner to the left and onto the other runway, ignoring Nathan's comments, having stopped his screaming at the top of his voice.

"It kind of feels like Knockhill..." Nathan said as I got to the end of the runway.

"It does, doesn't it?" I replied as I flicked the tail out and went down another section of the taxiway, which for circuit racing terms, was highly technical. It had a long bend to the left, like a left hand version of the Dunlop on the Circuit de la Sarthe (Le Mans), whilst containing a side area which could be used as a chicane, also similar to the Le Mans circuit, and a sharp right hand corner which can be described as a right hand version of Gambon from Dunsfold Aerodrome (aka. the Top Gear Test Track).

Performing each corner to the best of my abilities, I headed past the other end of the runway and drove down the taxi-way on the other side which lead through more high speed turns like a shorter version of Curva Biassono on Monza, and had a section of opposing corners which could test the amount of stress the car goes through in a section consisting of two separate chicanes.

I like to call that segment Imp's Sickle, as it was shaped like a sickle (kind of) and due to the Hillman Imp, a hatchback made in the past that my dad learned to drive in and his uncle helped to build, which would have been great in those corners.

He said the reliability wasn't great, but it was a small car and it was the first mass-produced car in Britain that had large numbers of components of the engine, including the block and cylinders, made out of aluminium. It also had the engine in the rear of the car and was rear wheel drive, like a Porsche 911, which aided it in cornering. As a result of these design features, it won the British Touring Car Championship three times: in 1970, 1971 and 1972, as well as the Tulip Rally in Holland in 1965.

They only made one Imp for every ten Minis that rolled off of the production line, right enough, but still, I suppose it could be worse. They could have ended up producing a car that looked like the Lancia Thesis.

If you don't know what a Thesis looks like, which may be perfectly understandable, think of a Jaguar S-Type, only longer... and worse looking.

Thank fuck they didn't bring them to the UK.

Anyway...

Getting round these corners was a pain in the arse, mainly due to the fact that the car's weight distribution is very front heavy. If I remember correctly, the weight distribution is 55:45, which I think roughly makes the car weigh nearly a tonne at the front (roughly 990 kilograms if my maths is right).

In the faster corners, this wasn't a problem, but with the tighter turns, the heavy front end weight made the car prone to slight understeer.

Nothing that a little drift couldn't handle, although I suspect that hurt the car's overall lap time.

My old Lotus would make mincemeat out of this track.

After exiting the corner, I stepped hard on the accelerator so I came back to roughly where I had started, going round another left hand Biassono-esque corner on the way to where we had decided was the finishing line.

Slowing down to a full stop, I took my hands off of the steering wheel and looked to my left to see the response from Nathan. Eventually, he spoke.

"Not exactly the Alpine Handling Circuit, but still pretty good," he said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "Can we do that again? I want to see the lap time."

"Aye," I replied, putting my hands back onto the steering wheel. "I'd like to see it for myself."

I turned the launch control on again as he nodded his head.

"Three..."

Race mode...

"Two..."

Now, just rev it into the right range, brake on...

"One... GO!"

And with that, I took my foot off the brake pedal and let the launch control do its thing, letting the car accelerate much faster than the car in its normal comfort setting.

After this, I simply followed the track again, with the advantages of knowing what I was doing this time and the different traction control settings really helping in the corners. Imp's Sickle was still a challenge, but I still felt like this lap was much faster than the previous one.

After I had crossed the line, I brought the car to a gradual halt. I then turned to Nathan, smirking at the face he was making. "Well? What was the time?"

Nathan looked down at his phone. "One minute, and fifty three point four seconds."

I raised my eyebrow. "Is that fast?"

"No idea."

"Well, if it goes round Anglesay in 1:41," I began, turning away from him and instead looking at the dashboard. "And that's 2.1 miles, then if I use the odometer to calculate how far I've travelled..."

I trailed off as I began to calculate the total distance. The odometer function of the car stated that I had travelled five and a half miles since I started the car again, so if I subtracted a tenth of a mile, since that was roughly the distance I travelled to the start line, then I would end up with 5.4 miles. Divide that number by the two laps I did of the track, and I would end up with roughly 2.7 miles.

I also took into consideration the fact that this track had a mixture of straights and both short and long corners, as well as them being fast or tight corners, as well as a double chicane. With all of this taken into account, and judging from what I know to be the car's weakness, I had finally made up my mind.

"Yeah, I think it's fast," I answered, turning back to Nathan. "Sure, it's not a Radical GT3 by any standards, or a Lotus, for that matter, but it's still very quick."

"Even quicker than your old Esprit?"

I stayed silent at this, the mere mention of that car was enough to make me feel nervous. Especially around him. If he ever found out the truth about what happened...

"...okay, then," he said suddenly. "Just ignore me."

"What was the question?" I asked, in an attempt to salvage the situation from the awkward state it was in.

"I asked if it was quicker than your Lotus?"

"No," I replied with a laugh, as I was thinking of a joke the entire time. "The only way it would be quicker is if the Lotus broke down half way around the track."

We both did a belly laugh at that point, basically at how a lot of British cars were - and still are - unreliable.

You see, the problem with the British car industry is that most companies (looking at you, British Leyland) were not really equipped to make cars as other countries moved forward - Germany and Japan being the most notable example. The problem really was that unlike America, the UK was hit very badly during the Second World War by German bombers, and later the V-series of rockets (V1/'Doodlebug' and V2) launched from mainland Europe.

As a result, rebuilding all of the cities from the wrecks was extremely expensive, and there was no money to go around for most normal people, let alone building new cars. That's why rationing lasted for fifteen years after the war started, and for nine years after it ended.

The industry was further affected in the sixties and seventies by the twats in the management sector. The 'managers' probably wouldn't be able to manage a creche, never mind a car factory, and were making the workers work in poor conditions, and with very little pay.

As a result, the British Leyland worker's day at would consist of going to work at ten to nine, standing outside until the tea break, have said tea break, go back to standing around outside until lunch, have lunch and stand outside of the plant again until work was over at five.

Yes, they were on strike the whole time.

Eventually, any profitable companies, such as MG, Rover, Austin, Jaguar, Land Rover, Mini and the like were sold to foreign companies, while the ones that weren't were liquidated.

I wasn't old enough to witness that sort of thing myself, but my father did, whilst his uncle was working his hardest at the Linwood factory where the Hillman Imp - and later the Chrysler Sunbeam was produced. The Sunbeam was a shit car as well, but the Lotus version... boy, was that a different story.

I'm talking about the last car to win the World Rally Championship before Group B was created. To really point out how great this car was, Henri Toivonen helped win the championship for Talbot in 1981. You know, the guy who was said to be the only man who could tame the Lancia Delta S4.

Although we know how that ended up going.

Talk about going off on tangents! There's a history lesson to sink your teeth into.

The laughter finally died down after a while. Eventually I spoke out, setting the car back into the normal traction control settings. "Alright, I think we've seen enough."

"Fine. I'll contact Sonic to let him know that the facilities are adequate for production, with a few minor tweaks."

"Well, let's get going."

We were talking in the car as we drove back to Canterlot, the rough terrain taking a toll on our spines. We were about to approach the rail tracks that we would take to drive to the city in the mountains, but then, disaster struck.

"...so, Spitfire then turns around and says-"

"AAAAHHHH!" I screamed suddenly.

"What?" Nathan asked. "Have you seen a ghost of some sorts? Or did you realise you were late for a meeting?"

"No, worse," I replied as I pointed towards the dashboard.

Nathan, confused as to what I was getting at, leaned over and looked at the dashboard. His eyes widened when he saw for himself what I was scared about.

"Fuel warning light!" I shouted again.

"And we have to climb all of that..."

Slowly, Nathan and I turned to look at each other. There was silence as we entered the tunnel, but after a few seconds, we decided to scream at the top of our lungs in a fashion that would make you believe there was a serial killer in the car.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

Weirdly, we managed to get there before we ran out of fuel - if only just. I pulled the car into a spot that would be more easily accessible for me to put fuel in, as Thomas had managed to explained the process of obtaining petrol to some of Equestria's chemical engineers.

"We made it?" Nathan asked in surprise as we got out the car.

"I glad we did. I'm not willing to be pushing a car that weights nearly two tonnes this late at night," I replied, as I started to walk back to the castle. "I better get going if I want to get some good rest tonight."

"It's only eight thirty though," Nathan replied, confused as to why I would go to sleep that early.

"True, but I would like to be up earlier in the morning so I can do some running," I replied. "You know, to keep fit and all that."

"Okay, you do what you want to do. See you later."

And with that, I walked back to my room, grabbing something quick to eat on the way. Very quickly I was on my bed, thinking about the upcoming weeks.

Things are going to be much busier over the next couple of weeks, for all of us.

But then, my mind strayed away to something I didn't want to think about.

Emily...

As a result, memory after memory came back to me, with one in particular seeming to be on a loop constantly.

I've got to tell Celestia at some point, I promised her. But when do I tell Nathan? Do I tell him at all?

...

Celestia... I don't know how she'll react to it.

But Nathan...

...

No doubt I'm dead to him if I tell him.