Chapters The Equestrian Thieves Guild
Suri hesitated just slightly before entering the bar. She had heard the stories surrounding the ponies she was about to meet. Not many had. They had done too good of a job staying secret. But the few rumors that existed said they could do anything. If that were true, she needed their help.
The bar was the most run down establishment she had ever been in. Cigar smoke lazily clung to the ceiling, ancient stains of questionable origin coated the floor, and pressed between the two was the dirtiest crowd of disreputable ponies Suri could imagine. She fought down her anxiety as she worked her way between the tables, giving every pony a wide berth and a watchful eye, finally making her way to the bar. She found the cleanest stool she could and did her best to ignore the grime on the bar as she waved over the barkeeper. He eyed her up critically as he wiped down a mug with a rag dirtier than the floor.
"What you drinking?" He asked gruffly. Suri swallowed her disgust at the line of drool hanging from his mouth and forced a reply past her lips.
"I'm looking for the Thieves Guild," she whispered quietly, nervously glancing around to make sure that no other pony overheard her. The bartender stared her down until she looked away.
"Don't know anything about them," he said in a tone that suggested their conversation was over. Suri fought to repress a shiver, then set a small pile of coins on the counter. Without even looking, the bartender swept them over to himself.
"Wait here." He calmly stepped out from behind the bar and walked off. Suri watched as he made his way to a small booth in the corner. Two ponies occupied the table. One was a tall, handsome earth pony with brown fur. The other was a scrawny grey pegasus with eyes that never rested. Suri felt a small shiver as the two of them turned to face her. The earth pony smiled warmly, then beckoned her over.
Suri rose from her stool and made her way to the two ponies. She stood awkwardly by their table for a few moments before the earth pony motioned her to have a seat.
"So," he said with a refined accent that contrasted sharply with his surroundings. "What can we do for you?"
Suri cleared her throat and began. "My name is-"
"No names," the earth pony interrupted. "Trust me, it is better that way." Suri thought about it for a moment, then nodded.
"A few months ago, I entered a fashion design contest. I was undoubtedly the best contestant, but there was this other contestant-"
"Are you here to tell us your life story, or do you want something?" The pegasus casually asked. Suri glared at him. He merely smiled and leaned back in his chair. The earth pony held up his hooves in a placating gesture.
"I assure you, my colleague meant no disrespect. Still, it would expediate the process if you would simply tell us what you want."
Suri indignantly stiffened. "Fine. One of my rivals has recently opened a boutique here in Canterlot, and I want it shut down. If you could...obtain...some of her designs for me, it would further my own business while ruining hers." Suri grinned maliciously. The earth pony carefully studied her for a few moments.
"Ten thousand bits." Suri blinked in confusion.
"Ex-excuse me?"
"Our fee. For the job. Ten thousand, cash." Suri felt her jaw drop. Ten thousand bits! She could buy a house for that kind of money!
"No way! Impossible! I refuse!" She rose to her feet as she shouted. The earth pony gently motioned for her to sit. His face remained an impassive mask. The pegasus seemed vaguely amused.
"I suggest you take a slightly less aggressive tone of voice," the earth pony told her, "unless you desire this meeting to be the business of every pony here." Suri looked around and saw that her outburst had drawn attention from some of the bar's other residents. She grudgingly sat down.
"I won't pay that kind of money for this," she muttered in a hushed voice. "Is it really fair of you to demand such an outrageous sum for such a simple task?"
The earth pony chuckled. "Is it really fair of you to take us for fools? There is only one shop you can be referring to, and I would prefer not to come into conflict with one who has fought gods and won."
Suri knew they had her then. She had been hoping the thieves would not know the boutique was owned by Rarity herself, but they did. If she was being honest, ten thousand was probably a bargain for such danger.
She did some quick mental math. She could scrape together ten thousand, although her purse would not thank her. Of course, once those designs were hers, she could pass them off as her own. And if the last dresses she had taken from Rarity were any indication...
"Alright, it's a deal then." She slid a pouch of coins across the table. "Here's a few hundred. I need time to get the rest to you." The pouch vanished into one of the earth ponies pockets.
"Have the rest of it for us within the week," he told her. "We'll have the designs by then." Suri felt a vengeful smile on her face. Soon, Rarity would feel some of her pain.
Check Mate watched the mare leave the bar. The second the door was closed, his gaze slid to the drink in his hooves.
"Crap."
His partner, Stratus, glanced over at him. "What's up with you?" He asked. "We got a job. What's the problem?" Check Mate did not spare him a glance.
"I was really hoping she wouldn't take the deal," he admitted. Stratus scoffed.
"What!" He asked incredulously. "Are you serious? Why not?" Check Mate looked up at that.
"Are you serious?" He asked as he laughed in disbelief. "Who would want to take that? Rob one of the Elements of Harmony? When we're this new? This whole job is tantamount to career suicide." Stratus waved a hoof dismissively.
"Who cares who the owner is? It's a clothes shop. Clothes shops don't have security. It'll be easy." He took a long swig from his drink. Check Mate glared at him.
"You, my friend, need to learn to think in the long term. We could undoubtedly rob the store, of that I have no doubt. The difficulty lies in what repercussions the princesses may undertake against us."
"You're doing that thing again, where you use all those long words and you don't make any sense," Stratus yawned. "Can I just go grab those designs and get this over with?" Check Mate seized him by the shoulders.
"If we simply go in without a plan, we will be discovered and hunted down," he growled at his companion. "We need to scope out the situation, case the joint, so to speak. We need to gather some kind of insurance against retaliation." Stratus rolled his eyes.
"Fine, fine." He stood up and went over to the bar.
"Where are you going?" Check Mate demanded.
"My cup is empty. I'm getting a refill."
"We need to plan!"
"Don't look at me. You're the smart one, I just take things that don't belong to me. You figure something out." Check Mate glared at his partner as Stratus took a seat at the bar and beckoned for a refill. He finally looked away and took a long drink from his own cup. There was no good way for this job to end. At best, they would make themselves targets from some of the most dangerous ponies in Equestria. At worst...
Well, they had all seen what happened to Tirek.
To make matters worse, Stratus seemed oblivious to the problem. The pegasus refused to think further ahead then his next action. If he would just listen and follow Check Mate's orders, things would go fine, but he refused. This wasn't the first time they had had this problem, either. It seemed that the two of them had been coming to blows over almost every job lately.
Check Mate was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn't notice Stratus slip out the side door of the bar.
Stratus wandered over to the boutique. As he made his way through the streets of Canterlot, he thought about his partner. What an asshole. Check Mate was always bossing him around, as though he expected his word to be law. And he insisted on overcomplicating everything. Stealing was simple. Stratus had been doing it for years. But no, now everything had to be planned out, every location had to be scouted, every possibility had to be accounted for. Stratus wondered how long it was before he had to ask permission to use the bathroom.
Still, he had to admit, it wasn't all bad. The money was good, great even, the most he had ever owned. That was the only reason he hadn't left. But there were times he just wanted to tell Check Mate where he could stick his plans and just leave.
Stratus had to stop and ask directions once or twice, but soon enough found his destination. Canterlot Carousel. The building loomed before him, a monument to the greed and waste of the nobility. Stratus shot a glance up and down the street. It was empty, but that could change quickly enough. He had to be fast.
Swifter than an eye could track in the dark, he swooped across the street and inserted a pick into the lock. Rotating it around, he craned his ears for the telltale click of success. As soon as he heard it, he gently pushed the door open. Slipping into the front of the shop, he took a second to survey his surroundings while he waited for his night vision to develop.
Everywhere he looked, he saw dresses, dresses of every shape, size and color. The thought of how much each one cost turned his stomach. A single one of these dresses could have fed him for a year. Yet the nobility seemed to desire a new one every month. And it was Rarity who enabled them to indulge in their greed.
Stratus held onto those feelings. He knew that if he ever thought about the ponies he robbed any other way, he would never be able rob them.
He locked the door behind him to prevent any pony from interrupting his work. Creeping through the shadows in the shop, he slid to the back where he knew the office would be located. He was willing to bet that Rarity would keep her designs in there. Setting his ear against the door, he listened inside. Hearing nothing, he began to push when the silence was broken by the sound of a key turning.
Swiftly he slipped inside the office and shut the door behind him. He could hear a refined voice through the delicate wood.
"How silly of me, forgetting my purse like this. Rarity, darling, you need to keep better track of your things." Stratus turned his head around to see a purse lying on the table next to him, right by a stack of papers. He lunged over as quietly as he could and flipped through them. Each page held a picture of a dress, each more exquisite than the last.
Stratus could hear hoof steps in the main room coming steadily closer. He had only a few seconds before Rarity entered. He snatched up the papers and stuffed them under his cloak. As the door began to creak open, he flung himself back towards the corner.
Rarity entered her office. "There you are," she said to her purse. "How silly of me to forget you." She picked up the purse and slung it over her shoulder. Glancing at the table, she frowned. "Strange," she said, biting her lip. "I could have sworn I left some designs back here. Where are they?"
Stratus pressed himself into the corner on the ceiling. He had managed to maneuver the door between himself and Rarity, but the flimsy cover would not hold long. He needed to make a move or risk discovery. Dropping to the floor with barely a sound, he crept around the door and began slinking through the shadows of the shop. He felt his heart pound in his chest as he counted the steps left to the door. Fifteen...Ten...Five...
Just as he lay his hoof on the door, he heard a shriek. "Thief!" A shimmering blue light surrounded the door, and without turning around, Stratus knew he had been discovered. He threw himself to the side, just in time to avoid the magic blast that ripped through the air. Frantically, he began scanning the room for a second exit. There were no other doors, but across the room was a large window. Stratus threw caution to the wind and charged headlong towards it. He was about halfway there when a force from behind drove him to the floor.
Turning around, he saw that an animated dress had seized him about the waist. Rarity stood in the center of the room, sending a legion of trendy clothing to subdue him. Her face was a mask of pure rage.
Stratus was not strong by any means, but he was wiry and agile, and he managed to wriggle free from the dress's suffocating grip and charge the window. He could hear the flutter of fabric behind him, and knew that he had no time to open it. He seized a mannequin as he ran and hurled it out before him. He lunged forwards just behind it, wings held up to protect his face.
The glass exploded outwards and rained down in a musical barrage, and Stratus rained down along with it. Striking the pavement, he was down for just a second before he took off running. From behind, he could hear Rarity screaming in frustration. He allowed himself a grin. Another job well done.
She didn't deserve this, whispered a voice in his head. She is a good pony. He forced those thoughts down. He couldn't allow himself to think like that. Focus on the thrill, the excitement, he told himself. Survive, no matter the cost.
It was the only thing that mattered.
Check Mate looked carefully at the papers before him. In the chair across from him, Stratus nursed several small scratches in his wings. Check Mate studied him carefully for a few seconds, looking for any sign of regret or shame. He found none.
"So. You disobeyed my orders." Check Mate spoke calmly and measured. Stratus had been with him long enough to know that he was furious. He chose to respond with a shrug. Check Mate was not satisfied. "You could very well have just doomed us. We are just two ordinary ponies. We cannot stand before the unbridled might of the princesses."
"That sounds like a problem for you to solve," Stratus responded. He yawned and stretched out. "Either way, I need some sleep. See you tomorrow." He began to rise.
"Sit." The force of the command swept Stratus off his feet and back into his chair before he realized what he was doing. Check Mate was glaring now. Stratus found himself slightly sweating.
"You disobeyed my orders," said Check Mate. "Again. This is not acceptable. You do what I tell you, and you get paid. You disobey, and you receive nothing. Am I understood?"
Stratus glared at him. Weeks of conflict finally boiled over, and he snapped. "No, you're not. You know what your problem is? You treat every pony around you like your slave. Well guess what! I have my own life to live, and it doesn't revolve around your wishes. You want some drone to do what you want? Then find some pony else! I'm out." He rose and stormed out of the bar. Check Mate glared after him, then swore and slammed his fist against the table. That arrogant bastard! Who did he think he was? To Tartarus with him! Check Mate didn't need him. He would just have to find new ponies, ones who would do what needed to be done without question,
Like slaves. The thought pierced through Check Mates thoughts, breaking his concentration. A dam burst in his head, and every interaction with Stratus over the last few weeks played itself out for him. But this time, he was forced to watch with an outsiders perspective. And what he saw did not please him. He had treated Stratus as little more than a tool, a weapon to be used to strike at his enemies.
Just as those who had killed his father had tried to do with him. Until Stratus came and helped him escape. Check Mate nursed his drink for a moment, then rose and left the bar.
He found Stratus in the alley out back. The pegasus sat slumped against the back wall, looking the most depressed Check Mate had ever seen him. All that changed as soon as Stratus caught sight of him. Stratus leaped to his hooves in a heartbeat, his face instantly hard.
"You were right." Stratus physically stumbled back in surprise at the tone of Check Mate's voice. It was the first time he had ever heard him apologetic. "I have not been treating you fairly. I have lived with my desire for vengeance for so many years now that when I had the chance, I let it rule me. I am sorry." The two ponies held eye contact. Stratus looked away first.
"I...I'm sorry, too. I was a jerk back in there. I know how much what we're doing means to you. I shouldn't have snapped." Check Mate watched him for a moment, then smiled.
"I suppose that makes us even." Stratus nodded.
"I suppose it does." It was not much of an apology, but it was all that the two needed.
"Care to get back to our nefarious misdeeds?"
"Lead the way, partner." The two thieves made their way back to the bar. They took a seat at their usual booth. Stratus looked at his partner.
"So, what do we do about the princesses?"
"I actually had an idea about that. It occurred to me that all they need is a good scapegoat to blame. If we give one to them, it will likely curb their desire to hunt for us."
"Got a scapegoat picked out?"
"Well, now that you mention it, I did have one idea. I feel that any pony who wishes to harm the Elements of Harmony is the type of pony I do not mind betraying. What do you think?" Stratus glanced up from his drink.
"Screwing over a client?" He grinned. "That hardly seems professional."
Check Mate smiled back. "It is hardly our fault if our clients cannot protect themselves. Besides; she is not one of us." Stratus looked at him for a moment, then chuckled. Check Mate joined him. The two partners sat laughing in their booth. Outside, the sun began to rise over the city. The new day brought with it new possibilities for all manner of ponies, the good and the bad. The only thing they needed to do was reach out and seize it.
The Equestrian Thieves Guild
Ponies knew that the world was a strange and ever changing place, but there were still fundamental truths that every pony knew to be true. The sun rose every morning. The moon rose every night.
Lord High Tower's house was impregnable.
His guards were experienced professionals at the top of their field. His home was a bewildering maze of well lit passages and dead ends. He kept up to date with the latest advances in security technology.
Stratus bared his teeth in a savage grin in anticipation of the challenge.
Stratus was there for one simple reason. Lord High Tower had recently come into possession of a rare antique. A necklace, crafted in the ancient days of Equestria by the master unicorn smiths. The chain was made of the finest silver in the land, and the jewel was said to be a star brought down from the heavens by Luna herself. The piece was beyond priceless. It had been recovered on an archaeological dig sponsored by High Tower himself. The rumors were that he planned to make a gift of it to the princesses.
The pony who had hired the Thieves Guild disagreed with that plan.
Stratus sat in the shadows just outside of High Tower's estate. He timed his approach to coincide perfectly with the rotation of the guard, scaling the wall in mere moments and dropping to the other side. The main door was too heavily guarded to risk, but a smaller servant's entrance provided an enticing alternative. The rumors about the twisting corridors proved true, but so too did the floor plans he had copied from the royal archives.
Check Mate, Stratus and their newest companion, Brawn, had poured over the plans for hours the night before, successfully narrowing down the possible hiding places for the jewel. Stratus was forced to weave his way around patrols of guards for almost three hours as he searched each place. Each time, his search turned up nothing. Finally, he approached the last location.
It was at the top of a tower on the very edge of High Tower's mansion. Stratus crept up the stairs, winding his way to the top floor. Finally, he passed through a thick wooden door and into the upper chamber. Inside, he found his target. An ornate wooden chest pressed against the wall, concealed among another dozen of it's kind. But Stratus' keen eyes picked out the miniscule symbol carved onto the side, and his instincts told him that this was it.
He examined the lock carefully. It was complicated, no doubt, but still within his ability. With the care one might expect from a surgeon during an operation, he drew forth his lockpicks and inserted them into the lock.
The second they touched the chest, a small rune illuminated itself on the lid. Before Stratus had time to wonder what it was, a bolt of lightning shot out at him. Stratus yelped and threw himself to the ground. The electricity missed him, but passed close enough to cause his mane to stand on end. Stratus nervously threw a glance at the doorway. He craned his ears, but could hear no hoofbeats. For a moment, he thought his cry had gone unheard, but his hopes were dashed. The pounding of metal boots on the stairs filled the tower.
Stratus slammed the tower door shut, threw the bolt down, and turned back to the trapped chest. The time for subtlety was through. He seized a pry bar from his belt and wedged it into the crack of the lid. The hoofbeats from outside were drowned out by a banging upon the door. Stratus threw his weight upon the pry bar, only to jerk back from another bolt of lightning. This time he was less lucky, and a glancing strike from the lightning launched him across the room. He woozily struggled to regain his hooves, the room spinning about him. His head was filled with pounding- no, he realized, that was the pounding on the door.
The door broke in and the guards poured in after it. The door was blocked. Stratus realized that there was only one way out. He remembered the window was just a few feet behind him. He stepped back only to discover that the window was, in fact, less than an inch behind him. He stumbled over the lip and plummeted towards the ground.
In an act of pure desperation, Stratus spread his wings to slow his fall. His right wing quickly filled with air, but his left wing extended only a few inches at a crooked angle. A lance of pain shot through it as he went into a tailspin. Far below him, he could see a clump of swiftly approaching bushes. He leaned towards them, and whispered a quick prayer that his landing would be soft.
Check Mate looked up at the sound of his office door opening. Stratus slowly limped in. The pegasus was covered in small cuts and scrapes, and presented quite a miserable figure.
"I presume something went wrong." Stratus glared at Check Mate.
"What gave it away?" Stratus sank into a chair with a groan. He lay back and closed his eyes. Check Mate watched him for a moment.
"Are you forgetting something?" Stratus opened one eye in confusion. "The amulet?" Stratus closed his eye again.
"Couldn't get it."
"I am sorry, I must have misheard you. I specifically remember you giving yourself the title of 'best thief in Canterlot.' That was, of course, shortly before you promised me that you could steal anything."
"Look, there was magic there. Some weird zappy thing blasted me when I tried to open the chest. And then I fell out of a tower!"
"Oh dear, a weird zappy thing. That changes everything. I shall simply inform our client that the object he desires is impossible to obtain. While I am at it, how about I post an article in the paper requesting that all ponies remove magical defenses from their homes?" Stratus glared at Check Mate
"A little less sarcasm, a little more concern might be appreciated."
"Duly noted and ignored. Still, this is a problem we shall have to remedy. Neither of us has any knowledge of the arcane arts, and I feel confident Brawn is equally oblivious. We need some pony smart, good with spells, and not afraid to break the rules. Fortunately for us, I have found a pony who meets all those criteria." Stratus sat bolt upright.
"Whoa, whoa, hold up. You've been looking into some pony new to bring on?" Check Mate nodded. "And you didn't tell me? What happened to being partners?"
"I felt that you were already busy enough. I did not wish to distract you until I was certain of this course of action. If it would make you feel better, I have all the information about our candidate here. Would you care to hear it?" Stratus nodded. "Very well." Check Mate cleared his throat and lifted a folder. "Name, Light Show. Occupation, former professor of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Current occupation, private researcher-"
"Back up a second there. 'Former' professor? Do we really want some pony who couldn't even hold up a teaching position?"
"The reason of his termination had less to do his abilities, and more to do with his violation of the school's code of ethics." Stratus raised an eyebrow.
"What did this guy do?"
"According to my reports, he was charged with inhumane experimentation. The specifics aren't listed, but it seems to be something to do with rabbits." There was silence from the chair. Check Mate looked over to see Stratus staring at him with wide eyes.
"WHY exactly are we looking at this guy?"
"He has extensive experience working around magic. He has no friends or relatives, and he comes from a modest background, meaning his financial outlook is growing increasingly desperate. He already broke one set of rules, and convincing him to break another should prove simple. He fits the criteria we need."
"And when he starts poisoning bunny rabbits in the basement?"
"We shall deal with that if it comes up. Now, would you care to meet him? Or would you rather continue to be foiled by 'weird zappy things'?" Stratus grumbled, then rose to his hooves.
"You and I are going to have a serious talk about our hiring criteria after this."
"I wait with bated breath. Now I suggest you make yourself presentable. I want to be gone in the next hour."
A few minutes later, the two ponies found themselves outside a modestly large home in the suburbs. The most distinguishing feature of the house was it's lack of remarkability. It could just as easily have belonged to a small middle class family as a powerful wizard.
"Are we sure this is the place?"
"Positive." Check Mate stepped up to the door and rang the bell. There was no sound of response from within. Stratus and Check Mate waited an entire minute before Check Mate rang the bell again. Again, they were met with silence.
"Oh, this is ridiculous," muttered Stratus. He pushed past Check Mate and repeatedly slammed his hoof against the door. As his hoof descended for the fourth strike, the door abruptly swung open. A young unicorn mare glared out from the other side. She appeared unfazed by Stratus' hoof coming just inches from striking her nose.
"Let's get things straight," she snapped. "We do not need a new set of encyclopedia's, we have no interest in hearing the good word of Celestia, and we already paid our bills this month. That cover it? Yes? In that case, get off the porch." With that, she slammed the door shut again. Stratus and Check Mate were too stunned to speak.
"Was... that wasn't the guy you were talking about, was it?" Stratus asked.
"No, Light Show is most certainly not a mare, nor is he that young. I believe that may be the apprentice my sources spoke of." Stratus turned back to the door and resumed his pounding. This time, however, the door staid resolutely shut.
"Okay, we tried the nice way, let's do this the hard way." Stratus whipped out a set of lockpicks and crouched down by the door. "Tell me if any pony is coming, would ya?"
"Stratus, this hardly seems wise," cautioned Check Mate. "Light Show is a highly experienced wizard, after all. It seems unreasonable to assume that his door would be unguarded against-" He was cut off as Stratus let out a yelp. A small bolt of lightning had discharged from the door and struck his hooves.
"Again!" The pegasus shouted. "Again with the zapping! Why are wizards obsessed with zapping!" The door opened again to reveal the mare.
"I thought I told you two to get out of here!" Her gaze drifted to the fallen lockpicks. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Did you seriously just try to break in? You two better shove off, or I'm calling the guards on you."
A voice came from somewhere back in the house. It was a deeper voice, obviously that of a stallion. "It is alright, Ms. Swirl. Please escort our guests to the study, I will meet them there."
"Are you sure, sir?" The mare called back. "They don't exactly seem trustworthy! Also, they did just try to break in! And they didn't even do a good job of that!"
"I do not pay you to question me, Ms. Swirl, I pay you to follow my instructions."
"You don't pay me at all, sir!"
"Bah! Just escort them to the study! And then go make some tea!" The mare rolled her eyes.
"Yes, sir," she called over her shoulder. She turned back to Stratus and Check Mate. "You two, come with me." She led them inside. They followed her to a large room, presumably the study. Every wall was covered in bookshelves, and a desk sat in the corner. In the opposite corner were a couple of cushy armchairs. A roaring fireplace kept the room pleasantly warm.
"Just wait here, Light Show will be in shortly." She turned to leave.
"Wait, can I get something for my hooves?" The mare glanced back at Stratus, who held up his hooves to show electrical burns.
"Sorry, I don't have anything that can cure stupidity," she responded with a phony smile and walked out. Stratus glared after her.
"Freaking sarcastic no good rotten-" his tirade cut out abruptly as a small bottle flew through the door and smacked him in the head.
"Put some of that ointment on them, you'll be fine," came the mare's voice. Stratus glared in her direction, then smeared the substance over his hooves.
The two thieves sat in the study and waited. And waited. And then waited some more. Finally, their host entered the room.
Light Show appeared much the way they had expected. A unicorn just past middle age, the hint of gray just beginning to enter his blue coat. His smile was cold and hard.
"Do excuse the delay, I had experiments to perform which simply could not wait. I do hope you understand."
"Of course," responded Check Mate pleasantly. Stratus merely muttered something uncomplimentary under his breath.
"Wonderful! Now, as I understand it, you have something you eagerly wish to speak to me about?"
"Indeed we do. What we have to offer is a business proposition-"
"One moment," Light Show interjected. His horn lit up with magic, and the study door abruptly swung open. The mare from earlier stumbled through with a yelp. She clutched a tray of tea with her magic, which she just managed to keep from dropping. She regained her balance and sheepishly glanced at Light Show.
"Your tea is ready, sir," she said with a forced grin. Light Show stared back impassively.
"Ms. Swirl, what have I told you about lying?" The mare's face fell.
"Sorry, sir."
"Now, what were you doing?"
"Eavesdropping, sir." Light Show nodded.
"I thought as much. Well, seeing as your curiosity has clearly conquered you, I feel it would be best for you to remain." The mare's face lit up with a smile and she took a seat near the desk. Light Show took a sip of tea. "Please, continue," he gestured to Check Mate.
The guild master frowned. "What we have to say is a private matter. Do you trust your assistant?"
"Anything you have to say before me can be said before my apprentice. Now, if you would?" Light Show impatiently motioned Check Mate to go on. The earth pony shrugged.
"Very well. Let me begin with a question. Have things been difficult for you, cut off from your university the way you have been?"
"I have enough money saved to keep myself and my experiments going. I suppose that I have had a greater deal of difficulty in the acquisition of several rarer materials, but that is an obstacle I can overcome."
"Suppose it was no longer an obstacle." Light Show's face betrayed no flicker of emotion.
"I am listening."
"Suppose, if you would, that there were a certain group which could help you obtain whatever your experiments may require, as well as provide funding."
"I suppose I would like to know what this organization would require from me."
"The performance of certain services which may be deemed questionable, from a legal or ethical standpoint." Light Show nodded slowly.
"I believe I understand your meaning. Still, while I do experience the occasional hurdle, it is nothing I cannot overcome on my own. Why should I throw my lot in with you and risk punishment?"
"I understand your concerns," Check Mate responded. "It is true, you are capable of performing your research without any outside assistance. But we offer something much more than mere supplies. We offer something far greater-the chance at immortality. The chance to live forever in legend, not just as an above average magical researcher, but as one who defied an empire." The two ponies locked eyes for a few tense moments. Then, Light Show's mouth curved upwards into a smile.
"I believe your conditions are acceptable." Check Mate smiled back.
"Excellent. We already have a room set aside for your laboratory at our headquarters. We can arrange the transfer of your equipment later."
"That sounds acceptable."
"Then we have an arrangement." Check Mate rose from his chair. He began to walk towards the desk, then paused. He studied Light Show carefully for a moment, then turned to Stratus.
"Stratus, may I borrow that ointment for a moment?" Stratus cocked an eyebrow.
"Why? You didn't get zapped."
"Indulge me, if you would." With a shrug, Stratus handed over the tube. Check Mate accepted it and turned to Light Show. "Catch," he called out abruptly, and tossed the bottle underhand. The bottle flipped end over end and struck Light Show in the forehead. But rather than bouncing off, the bottle continued forwards, disappearing into Light Show. His forehead flickered for a few moments, then he vanished from sight.
Color Swirl frowned. "Ah, damn." She gave Check Mate a look of grudging admiration. "What gave it away?"
"The eyes. At several points in our conversation, his eyes remained motionless. It is true that some ponies have a closely guarded poker face, but none have that level of control." Stratus merely stared in confusion at the empty chair, then at Color Swirl, then at Check Mate.
"Wait, I'm confused. What is going on?" Check Mate gestured at Color Swirl.
"Stratus, it is my pleasure to introduce you to miss Color Swirl, who, in addition to being a lovely young mare, would seem to be one of the most talented illusionists I have ever met."
"Oh, stop, you'll make me blush." Color Swirl casually shifted to the chair behind the desk. She threw her rear hooves up onto the wooden surface and leaned back. "So tell me. Was that offer you just gave for 'Light Show' only? Or is Color Swirl good enough for you?"
"Are you still interested in our offer?" Color Swirl tilted her head and looked up. A smile played across her face.
"Yeah, I think I can work with you guys." Check Mate extended his hoof.
"In that case, Ms. Swirl, welcome to the Thieves Guild." Color Swirl shook it energetically.
"I promise, I won't let you down."
Author's Note
The final avenger-err, I mean thief- has arrived. When I first conceived of the idea of the Thieves Guild, I thought of roles that would need to be filled. Check Mate is the brains of the operation, Stratus is the thief, and Brawn is the muscle. But in a world where about a third of the population can use magic, it was also essential for a wizard to join the team. I had already come up with Color Swirl's character a while ago for a different story that I never wrote, so I decided to recycle her and make her a criminal.
The Equestrian Thieves Guild
Color Swirl awoke to the sound of birds singing outside her window. She rose from her bed, stretched with a yawn, and slipped out from under the blankets. Blinking a few times to clear her eyes, she wandered over to her desk. Her desk. The thought still made her giddy. There was something about being part of a group that spoke to her, a certain satisfaction that her solo work had never quite managed to capture.
She perused the projects she had waiting. Enchanted objects, spells of concealment to lay about the house- it was a lot to take in. She decided that they could wait at least until she had eaten some breakfast. She put on a pair of slippers and began to wander down to the kitchen.
As she passed through the corridors, she heard muffled shouts coming from the direction of Check Mate's office. She paused. The kitchen lay to her right, while the office lay to her left. She pondered the choice for a moment, before turning left and following the sound.
She turned the corner to see Brawn standing outside Check Mate's office. She gave him a smile.
"Brawn, my favorite minotaur! How are you this fine day?" Brawn smiled back at her.
"I'm good, thanks for asking. How about you, Swirl? You settle in okay?" She shrugged.
"Well, I was having a pleasant time, until it was interrupted by a couple of stallions locked in a shouting match." Brawn grimaced.
"Yeah, they've been going at for a while now." Color Swirl glanced at the door.
"What are they arguing about?"
"You." Color Swirl rolled her eyes.
"Let me guess. Stratus is complaining again?"
Brawn looked away and shifted his weight. "Look, you have to understand, Stratus never exactly had it easy. He's a bit...fragile. He'll get used to you eventually, you just have to take it slow. Be understanding, don't aggravate him, and... Swirl, I wouldn't go in there. Swirl? Swirl!"
Color Swirl stormed into the office. "Hey, guys, remember me! What are we talking about?" Stratus and Check Mate both turned to face her. Neither one looked happy. Brawn followed her in and shut the door.
"In fairness, it was probably a poor decision not to invite her," he said. Stratus turned back to Check Mate.
"Please don't make me work this pony," Stratus begged.
"You've never had a problem working with Brawn," Check Mate countered.
"Yeah, but you've never made me babysit Brawn on a job before." Color Swirl raised her eyebrows.
"Excuse me? What is this about jobs, and me, and me going on jobs? I never signed up for robbing ponies, just helping you guys rob ponies."
Stratus scoffed. "Of course, wouldn't want to get your hooves dirty with common, menial labor." Color Swirl bristled. Check Mate groaned.
"It is not a robbery, per se, more of an...acquisition. You will not be breaking into any pony's home, if that is your concern." Color Swirl bit back a retort to Stratus and turned to Check Mate.
"So what are you doing that needs me?"
"Recently, we have learned of a certain relic. A crystal, which casts some sort of field about it to disrupt magical divinations and the like. The only problem is the current owner, a particularly short tempered dragon who lives approximately seventy miles north of the city. The plan is for Stratus to obtain the crystal, with you accompanying him to locate it."
"I've told you, I can figure it out on my own!" Stratus protested.
"Stratus, kindly swallow your pride for a moment. You have no magical prowess to speak of, or else we would not need Ms. Swirl here."
"Yeah, but you could just tell me what it looks like. I don't need magic to find a crystal."
"You are right, it is just a large sparkly rock, I am sure the dragon will not have any of those in his lair besides the one we want." Stratus opened his mouth to continue the back and forth, but Color Swirl cut him off.
"Alright, you need me to go to the dragon's cave and point out the crystal for Status, because he's an idiot, I got it. Sounds like fun." Stratus glared at Color Swirl and was about to respond, but this time it was Check Mate who cut him off.
Precisely. Now, if there are no further complaints-" he gave an icy glare to Stratus, who glared back and shook his head, "it is of some importance that we finish this job as quickly as possible. Spend the rest of the day making your preparations, and tomorrow, you can set out." He turned to Brawn. "Brawn, I know we agreed you would not be required to go out on jobs, but it would give me comfort if you would accompany this expedition." Brawn nodded.
"Don't worry, I'll make sure they behave." Check Mate nodded back.
"Excellent. I am glad to see that at least one other member of this team can be professional." He directed his last comment towards Stratus and Color Swirl, who were engaged in a stare down. Check Mate sighed.
"Go make your preparations, please. And do try not to kill each other."
Color Swirl craned her neck back to stare up at the mountain before her. The peak was high enough that the clouds hid it from sight. The only way up was a thin rock path, less than a foot wide.
"Imposing," she muttered. Stratus glanced at her.
"You're perfectly free to wait with the cart," he said. Color Swirl responded by sticking out her tongue.
"Okay, that's enough of that," Brawn interrupted before the situation could escalate. "This job is dangerous. You two need to stop acting like children and work together." He looked back and forth between Stratus and Color Swirl. Neither of them was listening. Each was too busy glaring at the other. Brawn groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I swear, you two are both terrible. Still, I like you both, so why don't you GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!" He roared the last part. Both ponies snapped to face him in shock. "Is that clear?" Brawn rumbled. They both nodded meekly. "Good. May as well get started, then. I'll be down here." Stratus and Color Swirl set out up the mountain.
The two ponies climbed in silence. By the time they reached the top, the sun was nearly set. The cave entrance was set before them, a massive, smoking hole in the mountainside. The two thieves crouched by the wall and peered in. There was no sign of the dragon in the dark recesses. All that could be seen was gold, piles and piles of gold, with glittering gems and jewels strewn about. Stratus slowly began to creep out from cover, when something in the back of the cave moved. The largest mound of gold near the back of the room began to shift, coins rolling down to clatter against the stone floor. A small rivulet of coins ran away from one side, revealing a bright red scaly hide. Stratus flinched back behind the cave wall.
"Alright," he said, "You do your weird voodoo whatever, tell me where the crystal is, and I'll go in and grab it."
"It doesn't work that way," hissed Color Swirl. "I have to be looking at the crystal to sense it."
"Then I'll just start bringing crystals out here," Stratus responded. Color Swirl rolled her eyes.
"This is a dragon's hoard, dummy. There are probably a thousand gems in there. By the time we go through them all, the dragon will be awake. I'm going in, whether you like it or not." Color Swirl brushed past Stratus and entered the cave. He reached to stop her, but was too slow. Grinding his teeth together, Stratus followed.
The two of them crept through the dark cavern. As she walked, Color Swirl reached out with her magic, seeking the signature of the item she was looking for. As she walked, she considered Stratus and laughed. The thief acted like sneaking around was some major accomplishment, but here she was, doing it just fine. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts, she didn't notice a small crack in the floor. Her hoof caught and she fell forwards, landing on a pile of gold. She froze and watched the dragon's mound. It shifted slightly, then once more fell motionless. She breathed a sigh of relief. Stratus made an impatient gesture for her to hurry up. She made a rude gesture back and resumed scanning the room. Her anxiety grew. The crystal wasn't there! She was sure of it. She had scanned the entire chamber, and had sensed nothing.
Check Mate's description of the crystal came back to her. "It shields from divinations and the such." She wondered if that included shielding against divination directed at the crystal itself. She resumed her scan of the room, searching for any discrepancy. She focused on each pile in turn. The first she scanned was normal, and then the second was normal, and then she ignored the third, and the fourth- she paused. Why had she ignored the third pile? She cast her spell on it again. She could not sense any magic, but it was almost like peering through water, with her vision distorted. She caught Stratus' eye and pointed at the pile. He nodded and crept over to it. He deftly plucked a single gem from the pile, leaving the rest of the gold undisturbed. He held it up. Color Swirl scanned it, then shook her head. Stratus picked up another. Again, Color Swirl shook her head. They continued, Stratus holding up a dozen more gems, but each one was wrong. Then, suddenly, Stratus held up a bland, opaque crystal. Color Swirl reached out with her magic to sense it, but something about the crystal was wrong. It was almost like it didn't exist. Then, to her shock, Color Swirl realized that she could no longer sense Stratus. She dropped her spell and looked carefully. To her eyes, Stratus still stood there, but he was invisible to magic. She nodded, and Stratus set the gem into a small pouch. Color Swirl slowly began to creep back towards the exit.
She was just a few feet away from the mouth of the cave when she heard it. From behind, the sound of gold coins cascading over each other. She turned around and found herself staring into an eye the size of her head. The dragon's eyes were slits, like any reptile, but there was something deeper in them. A sense of ancient power. For the first time in her life, Color Swirl truly knew what it meant to be prey. The dragon began to let out a low, rumbling sound. Color Swirl stood, captivated by the beast as it rose and shook off it's golden blanket. The dragon contemplated her. Without warning, it's mouth snapped forwards.
"Move!" Stratus crashed into her from the side, knocking both of them out of the path of the dragon's jaws. Teeth larger than steak knives crashed down mere inches from the two ponies. The dragon's head swiveled around faster than a creature of it's size should have been able. It opened it's maw, and Color Swirl saw a bright light building up. She seized Stratus and yanked him closer, then threw up a magic shield. Her barrier sprung into existence just as the cavern before them ignited with flame, blinding her with it's radiance.
Color Swirl struggled to hold her shield, but the dragon was too powerful, and she felt her power begin to waver. With the last of her strength, she caused all the moisture in the cavern to condense into clouds before the dragon's eyes, blinding it. The dragon cut off it's attack in confusion, thrashing it's head about in an effort to clear it's vision. Stratus and Color Swirl struggled to their feet and raced for the exit. The dragon's whipping tail caught them both, and they were flung across the room. The force of the blow knocked the breath from Color Swirl, and she lay gasping for air. The dragon cocked it's head like a dog searching for a sound. It turned to face the two ponies. Color Swirl tried to rise, but the dragon was across the cavern in a heartbeat. It slashed with it's claws, but blind as it was, missed Stratus and Color Swirl. Instead, it smashed a section of the cavern wall just above their heads. An avalanche of boulders began to rain around them. Stratus and Color Swirl leapt backwards at the same time, just as the rocks crashed down around them. Color Swirl closed her eyes and waited for the end.
It didn't come.
She slowly opened her eyes, only to be met with darkness. Her horn ached from using so much magic, but she forced a faint light through it. She and Stratus had landed in a small alcove against the wall. The boulders had missed them, instead forming a wall sealing them in. Color Swirl's initial joy at survival swiftly changed to terror. She began to hyperventilate, staring at the walls that seemed to be closing in around her. Stratus shook his head blearily and rose.
"Ugh, last time I steal from a dragon," he muttered. He glanced back at the pile of boulders trapping them. Then he looked at Color Swirl. "Don't you unicorns have telekinesis? Can you move these boulders away?"
"Yes, Stratus, I have telekinesis," Color Swirl hissed, "But no, I can't move anything that heavy. If you would kindly shut up for a minute, maybe I could actually think of a plan to get us out of here!" She continued breathing heavily. Stratus stared at her in confusion.
"Are you alright?" He asked. "You seem a little... gaspy."
"Oh, I'm sorry, is my breathing bothering you? You'll have to forgive me, it's just that I find the concept of being BURIED ALIVE to be a mild concern! But by all means, let's talk about my breathing!" Stratus just stared.
"Are you claustrophobic?" He finally asked. Color Swirl grit her teeth and nodded.
"Yes, Stratus, I am claustrophobic. It is a perfectly rational fear that plenty of ponies suffer from." Stratus scrunched his brow in thought.
"How about you talk?" He finally said. "I think I heard Brawn say that talking helps with your fears."
"Talk?" Asked Color Swirl in disbelief. "Talk about what? About how we're going to die in here?"
"Well, why don't you just go ahead and make fun of me?" Stratus said in exasperation. "You always seem to be in the mood to do that!"
"Excuse me? You're the one who picks fights with me! Ever since I joined, you've done nothing but complain about me! You talk about me behind my back, you try to convince Check Mate and Brawn to cut me loose, you constantly complain about how unnecessary my magic is! You want to talk? Fine, you start! You tell me what your problem is!" Stratus glared at her.
"My problem? My problem is that I lived on the streets every day for eleven years trying to get good at thieving! I fell down, I picked myself up and I kept going. You? You were born with the power to literally rearrange the world to suit your whims! You had a family that could just erase anything you did wrong, because if the nobles say something didn't happen, it didn't happen. I earned my place in the guild, but you? You were given the world on a silver platter from the moment you were born!" Color Swirl opened her mouth to retort, but her argument fell silent.
"Not like any of that matters now," she muttered. "We may have been born in different places, but now we're both going to die in this cave." Stratus' shoulders slumped. He stared at the boulders one more time.
"I guess you're right," he muttered. "No use complaining about anything now." Color Swirl extinguished her light, and the two sat in the silence and the dark. Color Swirl lost track of time.
"How long do you think Brawn will wait for us?" She asked.
"Who knows?" Stratus replied. "Knowing Brawn, he'll probably come to check on us when we don't come back, and then the dragon will get him. I don't think even he could beat that thing." Color Swirl sadly nodded. It was a shame that Brawn would likely die for their failures. Suddenly, an idea came to her.
"Stratus, do you have something that belongs to Brawn?" She asked. "A memento, or some kind of personal belonging?" She could almost sense his confusion.
"No, why do you need something like that?" He asked. Color Swirl's shoulders slumped.
"Forget it," she said. "If we had something that belonged to him, I know a spell that could let us talk to him. We could explain the situation, and then if he could lure the dragon out, he could probably clear these rocks. But without a personal belonging, I can't target the spell." Stratus was silent for a minute.
"What about a secret?" He asked suddenly.
"What?"
"If I had one of Brawn's secrets, could you use that to target him?" Color Swirl thought about it.
"Maybe," she said. "I guess it's worth a shot. What's the secret?" Stratus hesitated.
"If I tell you, you can't tell Brawn that you know," he said. Color Swirl rolled her eyes.
"Stratus, come on, our lives are on the line here, I think Brawn will forgive you spilling his secret."
"Promise you won't tell!" Color Swirl was taken aback by the insistence in Stratus' tone.
"Alright, alright, I won't tell Brawn you told me his secret. Now what is it?" Stratus took a deep breath.
"Brawn uses his paycheck to pay for his mother's medicine." Color Swirl waited for more.
"That's it? That's the secret?" Stratus nodded. "Stratus, that's not really much of a secret, I need more to go on. Why is Brawn's mother in the hospital?" Several seconds passed before Stratus continued.
"Brawn was a warrior in his tribe. Another tribe of minotaurs attacked them, a much larger one. Brawn lead the defense, but he got hurt, badly. His mother was some kind of shaman, and she used some ritual to heal him, but it took most of her own life to heal him. That's why he took her to Equestria. It's the only place the doctors could help her." Color Swirl was taken aback.
"Okay, that's... wow. I can't believe he never told me."
"You can't tell any other ponies about this, not even Check Mate. If any pony found out, they might use it as leverage against Brawn." Color Swirl nodded.
"Don't worry, I understand. I'll keep his secret safe." She focused on the secret, the details of Brawn's past, and tried to reach out to him. It was like pushing through molasses. She forced her magic out, seeking Brawn. Just as she was about to give up, she felt something. A faint murmur, like a ponies thoughts.
"Brawn?" She mentally called out. There was no reply, then she heard his voice.
"Swirl? Is that you? What's going on?"
"The dragon trapped me and Stratus under a rockslide in it's cave. We can't get out!"
"Alright, calm down," Brawn's voice called out. "Is the dragon still in there?"
"I don't know, but I think it is," Color Swirl responded.
"Okay, just sit tight. I think I have an idea," Brawn's voice grew weaker. Color Swirl struggled to hold the connection open.
"Brawn? Brawn!"
"Just hang on," Brawn's voice softly called out, and then there was nothing. Color Swirl ended her spell and slumped back against the wall.
"Did it work?" Asked Stratus.
"I think so," responded Color Swirl. "At least, I hope it did. But it might be a while." Stratus slumped down next to her.
"Guess there's nothing left to do but wait," he said. Silence descended back over the two of them. They remained that way for several minutes.
Stratus took a deep breath, then mumbled something unintelligible. Color Swirl glanced over at him.
"What did you say?" She asked.
"I said I'm sorry," Stratus finally forced out. "You're right, I was a jerk, and I didn't give you a chance. It's just that... well, the guild is almost like a family for me, and I guess I was worried you would force me out." Color Swirl listened carefully, then began to laugh. Stratus grumbled. "I know, I know, it sounds stupid."
"No, it's not that," said Color Swirl. "I get it. I know what it feels like to want your families attention." Stratus scoffed. "No, it's true. I have an older sister, and trust me, she is better than me at everything. When I was growing up, that was all my parents could ever talk about. 'Oh Swirl, your sister already mastered her advanced magical techniques, why haven't you? Oh Swirl, your sister made so many more friends than you, why don't you have more friends?' Ugh, I hated that so much. And then the icing on the cake; my sister got into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, and I didn't."
"Why not?" Asked Stratus.
Color Swirl chuckled. "Well, you see, part of the entrance exam is that you have to write an essay. The essay has to be about some problem that exists in Equestria today, and how you think it could be solved. Most ponies write about solving hunger, or poverty." She paused for a moment.
"What did you write about?" Stratus finally said.
"I wrote about the potential of abolishing the monarchy, and instituting an elected body of government." Stratus frowned.
"So wait, to try and get into a school run by royalty, you wrote about how we should get rid of royalty?" Color Swirl burst out laughing.
"As you can see, even as a child, I possessed a natural politeness and subtlety. Needless to say, the board was unimpressed, and I got rejected. I had to teach myself pretty much everything I know about magic. Only problem was, not many ponies want to get magic from a self taught wizard. That's why I made up that whole story about Light Show, and the illusions. Ponies were much more willing to go to a former professor than they were to go to me."
Silence resumed, but this time, it was a comfortable silence. After an unknown length of time, Color Swirl felt a bit of dust rain down onto her head. She glanced up just as one of the boulder's in the ceiling began to shift. The rock was abruptly pulled away to open a hole in the rocks. Brawn's face filled the hole.
"Brawn!" The two ponies shouted in excitement. The minotaur grinned.
"Quite a pickle you've gotten yourselves into. Don't worry, I'll have you out in a jiffy." He began to pull away boulders. It was slow going, as he head to avoid causing the pile to collapse.
"How did you get rid of the dragon?" Asked Stratus.
Brawn continued to work. "After I got Swirl's message, I went and built a massive bonfire a ways away. I lit it up and ran for the cave. By the time I got here, the fire was burning high enough that the dragon saw it. Dragons are territorial, and I figured if this one saw a fire that size, it might think another dragon was pushing in on it's territory. Sure enough, the dragon left to investigate." Finally, he cleared out a hole large enough for Stratus and Color Swirl to climb out of. The three of them raced for the cave entrance. Just as they reached the mouth, they heard an earth splitting roar. The dragon had returned. It's bulk filled the sky, scales shining red even in the night sky. It caught sight of them and roared once more. Brawn raced back into the cave and emerged, hefting a boulder the size of a basketball. He held it in one hand, like a pitcher ready to throw a fastball.
The dragon swooped in close, it's jaws wide open and fire building up in it's gullet. Brawn hurled his boulder. It struck the dragon directly at the joint between wing and body, causing it to veer off course and crash into the mountain side. The whole mountain shuddered from the force of the impact. Brawn, Stratus and Color Swirl all watched as the dragon fell to the ground below.
"Do you think it's dead?" Asked Stratus. Color Swirl thought back to the look in the beast's eyes, the primeval power it possessed.
"No," she said, "I think it's just angry." She turned to the others. "We should go before it recovers." Brawn looked at the cave.
"Are you sure?" He asked. "There's plenty of good stuff in there, we could grab a bit-"
"No, she's right," Stratus interrupted. "Let's not annoy that thing anymore than we have to." Brawn shrugged.
"Alright, then. Let's get out of here." The thieves quickly descended the mountain. By the time the dragon had reached it's lair, they were long gone.
When the three of them returned to the mansion, they found Check Mate smiling. He stood in the main entrance, with a bottle of champagne in one hoof and four crystal glasses on a table.
"I presume your mission was a success?" He asked. In response, Stratus produced the crystal. Check Mate's smile grew.
"Excellent. Every pony, I would like to propose a toast." They each took a glass, and Check Mate filled them with champagne. "Here is to making the most of opportunities." They clinked glasses together and each took a drink. Stratus immediately gagged.
"Blech, how do rich ponies drink this stuff?"
"It's a little thing called class, Stratus," taunted Color Swirl. "Don't worry, we all know you don't have any."
"I have class!" Retorted Stratus. "I have class up to here!" He lifted a hoof up above his head. Check Mate looked back and forth between the two of them.
"Interesting. I see that the two of you are still arguing, yet I do not sense the usual hostility. Have the two of you finally made peace with one another?" Stratus and Color Swirl looked at each other and nodded.
"I suppose we have," said Color Swirl. Check Mate smiled.
"That is good to hear." Brawn contemplated his drink.
"If you don't mind me asking, what's the occasion? We don't normally celebrate with champagne."
"A job," said Check Mate. "A very special job." Brawn nodded along.
"Alright, when do we start working on this, special job?"
"Oh, we haven't received the job yet," Check Mate clarified, "but we will. Just give it some time."
"How do you know we're going to get the job?" Asked Stratus.
"How does a mathematician know that two and two make four? Because events progress logically. Manipulate one event, and you can predict the outcome of the future. And I have manipulated many events." Check Mate raised his glass once more. "Soon, we shall take our rightful place in this world. We will no longer have to hide in the shadows, but we shall walk openly in the light. Gentleponies," he concluded, "a toast, to the future of the Guild." Stratus, Brawn and Color Swirl raised their glasses high.
"To the Guild!" They all called out, and drank. Outside, the clock tower tolled the midnight bells. A new day had just begun. A new day, full of opportunity.
Author's Note
And so the Guild has finally come together as a guild. Color Swirl was especially fun to write in this chapter. Stratus has a natural distrust towards others, but when Brawn joined, the minotaur was so nice that he won Stratus' trust fairly easily. Color Swirl, on the other hand, is very prideful, and took zero guff from Stratus, resulting in some interesting confrontations. I can't believe that I finished this chapter so much faster than any of the other ones, especially considering it's the longest chapter yet. Next chapter, the Guild will face it's biggest challenge to date, and potentially rise from a two bit gang of thieves to a dominant criminal empire.
The Equestrian Thieves Guild
It was a lovely day in Canterlot. The birds were singing. The sun was shining. There was not a cloud to be found in the sky. Spike, unfortunately, was spending the day indoors.
"Twilight, it's a beautiful day outside. Why are we cooped up in this stuffy old museum?" He complained. Twilight Sparkle, an enormous grin stretched across her face, turned to her assistant.
"Stuffy? Spike, the Canterlot Art Museum is hosting an exhibit on third century Equestrian paintings! Does that sound stuffy to you?" Spike simply rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Spike, we really got lucky with this. The exhibit was supposed to close a week ago, but an anonymous source gave a generous donation, so they kept it open. If they hadn't, it would have closed the day before we came to Canterlot for our meeting with Celestia!" Twilight's gaze zeroed in on a sign above the next gallery hall. "Ooh, Spike, look! This next room features the work of the great Paint Smudge! He's famous for his post neo-modern fusion cubism paintings! Isn't that exciting?"
"Uh-huh, sounds great," said Spike unenthusiastically. His gaze fell on the sign pointing towards the museum café. "You know what, you go on ahead. I need to... go to the bathroom." Twilight barely paid attention. She was enraptured by the display of Equestrian history. She entered the next gallery.
This room was not as empty as the last. A janitor in the corner was replacing the bags in the trash cans, and a pair of museum patrons were contemplating the main display. Twilight stared in awe at the painting that hung before her. It took up nearly the entire wall, and every square inch was filled with color. Twilight almost felt herself become lost within the endlessly swirling shades. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine Paint Smudge at work over seven hundred years ago, working on this masterpiece.
Twilight's daydream was interrupted by a sudden sickening smell. She opened her eyes to see a rag being shoved into her face. She tried to reel back, but the world around her abruptly swam out of focus and she felt herself collapse to the floor. Her eyes rolled back into her head, and within seconds she was sound asleep.
The rag had been held by one of the two patrons, who quickly shoved it into his back pocket. The other patron picked Twilight up and carried her over to the janitor. The janitor opened a large garbage bag, and the patron dumped Twilight inside. The janitor tied the bag shut, pausing only to cut a small slit for air. The two patrons turned and walked out of the gallery, as the janitor threw Twilight's bag onto his cart and left through the other door.
The janitor made his way to the rear of the building, near the dumpsters. A plain, unadorned cart was waiting for him. He threw Twilight's bag onto the cart then climbed up after it. The second he was in, the two ponies pulling the cart set out at a brisk trot.
Back in the exhibit, Spike entered the gallery, rubbing his stomach contently. He looked around for Twilight, but saw no pony there.
"Twilight?" He called out tentatively. He scoured the gallery, then checked the rest of the museum, but there was no sign of Twilight. "Maybe she went home early," he said to himself unsurely. He felt a growing dread that wherever Twilight was, it was not home.
Twilight awoke with a piercing headache. "Spike," she groaned, "next time, don't let me drink so much cider." Blinking, she raised her head to see that she was not in her bed. The room she was in was small, but cozy. She lay on a simple bed with clean sheets. The floor was made of fine ceramic tiles, and there was a wardrobe across from her. There were no windows, but a simple wooden door lay just past the foot of the bed. Twilight climbed to her hooves, then nearly collapsed as her head swam.
"Am I in the hospital?" She mumbled to herself. She shook her head to clear it, then stumbled over to the door and attempted to open it. It was locked.
Twilight felt a panic begin to grow in her chest. She banged on the door as hard as she could. "Hey! Is any pony there? Let me out!" She shouted. Hoofsteps immediately sounded in the hall. The door was opened a second later. On the far side stood a group of ponies.
One of them, an aged white unicorn, made a calming gesture with his hooves. "Calm down, your majesty, calm down. You are safe here."
"Where is here?" Twilight demanded. "Who are you and what do you want?" The unicorn gave her a kindly smile.
"Do not worry, princess, we will answer your questions in time. For now, though, it would be best if you rested."
"I don't want to rest, I want you to answer my questions!" Snapped Twilight. "Tell me right now!" The unicorn hesitated, then nodded his consent.
"Very well, I suppose it could help to comfort you." He gestured to the room. "May I come in?" Twilight studied him warily. He was of average height and build, and the wrinkles on his face gave him a grandfatherly appearance. Twilight stepped back and gestured for him to enter. He tipped his head and walked past her. Pulling back a chair, he casually sat down to face her. "Now, what do you want to know?"
"Why am I here?" Demanded Twilight as she sat back down.
"My operatives uncovered evidence of a plot against you. A small hive of renegade changelings, still loyal to Chrysalis, had plans to kidnap you from your rooms at the palace. They were going to make an example out of you. It was decided that we needed to step in and intervene. I apologize for the somewhat abrupt manner of your entry, but we had to make sure the changelings were unaware of our actions."
"And who are you?"
"My name is Heavy Hoof, and I am the chief inquisitor of the Celestian Inquisition." Twilight stared at him in confusion. "I know, you have not heard of us before. Very few outside our brotherhood have. Our order was founded a thousand years ago, in the years following the banishment of Luna. A power vacuum had opened up, one which all manner of unsavory sorts rushed to fill. Celestia, struck with grief as she was, was incapable of the necessary action. It fell upon a high ranking captain of the royal guard to ensure the preservation of Equestria. He gathered together a group of like minded ponies, and set about to ensure Celestia's continued power. He and his companions worked to maintain the center of power on Celestia herself. Over the years, however, as threats to the power of Celestia have waned, we have expanded our focus. Today, we serve as an unofficial guard force for the kingdom. We patrol the streets of Equestria, and keep them clean of criminal filth."
Twilight's mind raced to process everything she was hearing. "Does Celestia know about you?" She asked. Heavy Hoof shook his head.
"We have never seen the need of troubling the princess. We choose to serve our realm in an unofficial capacity."
"So you're vigilante's," Twilight said flatly.
"If you wish to be crude, yes, I suppose you could call us that. But look at what we have accomplished. Thanks to us, Equestria today is free of crime, and her citizens live in blissful ignorance of the dangers of the world."
"What do you do with criminals?" Twilight slowly asked. Heavy Hoof sighed.
"When a farmer finds a bad apple, he must throw it away lest it spoil the bunch. Likewise, if a pony decides to break the law, they turn bad and must be removed from society. We never make them suffer, however. Quick and clean, no matter the crime." Twilight felt her stomach turn. Heavy Hoof spoke of murder the way another might speak of taking out the trash.
"I think I want to go now," she said quietly. Heavy Hoof sighed and shook his head.
"I wish you could, but with the changelings out there, it is not safe. You will have to stay here until we can find them and eliminate them."
"What will the princesses think when they realize I'm missing? They'll come looking for me, and they'll find you." Heavy Hoof gave a knowing smile.
"Oh, this place is harder to find than you might think. The princesses will not find you. And before you ask, no, we cannot send any messages. We have no way of knowing where the changelings have infiltrated, and a message might alert them to our location." Heavy Hoof rose. "Now, you really should get some more rest. The anesthetic we used will leave you weak for quite a while. The best way to recover from it is to rest." He rose and walked to the door. Twilight tried to protest, but she felt her eyelids begin to droop and her thoughts trailed off into mist. Heavy Hoof turned in the doorway and smiled at her. "Do not worry. We will take care of you."
"Princess, the search for Twilight continues without success." Celestia sat in a briefing with several of her closest advisors. Her sister Luna was there, along with Princess Cadence and Shining Armor, who had left the Crystal Empire immediately upon hearing the news. Several high ranking members of the royal guard filled out the table. All had bags under their eyes. It had been three days since the disappearance of Princess Twilight Sparkle, and they were still no closer to finding her. There had been no ransom notes, no word on the street, and most disturbing of all, the princesses divinations had failed to reveal anything. It was as though Twilight had dropped off the face of the earth.
"We're doing all we can, but at this point," the guard speaking took a deep breath, "we may have to start assuming the worst." Shining Armor lunged to his feet.
"What! How can you say that? Twilight must be alive, she has to be!" Cadence gently pulled him back down into his seat, where he sat with his head in his hooves.
"Thank you for your input, captain," said Celestia in a monotone voice. "All of you, please leave the room. I wish to be alone." Every pony rose, bowed to her, and turned to leave. "Not you, Luna." The princess of night nodded and returned to her seat. The two sisters waited until every pony was gone before resuming their conversation.
"Oh Luna, I don't know what I'm going to do." Celestia's voice cracked. "If anything happened to Twilight, I don't know if I'll be able to forgive myself."
"Twilight is a strong pony," said Luna as she laid her hoof on Celestia's shoulder. "I'm sure she is fine."
"But we don't know that," said Celestia, "and our magic tells us nothing! I don't even know what else to try!" She sobbed faintly.
"We just need to have faith," Luna whispered. The two sisters embraced for a minute. Their comfort was interrupted by a knock on the conference room door. "Come in," called Luna. The door opened and one of the guards from earlier entered.
"Sorry to interrupt, your majesties," he said.
"Has there been an update on the search?" Celestia immediately asked. The guard shook his head.
"No, your majesty, but there is... something else." He looked down at his hooves and coughed uncomfortably. "I may have an idea about how to find Princess Twilight."
"Why did you not bring this up earlier?" Demanded Luna.
"It's... somewhat unorthodox. And it is highly questionable. In fact, thinking about it, it's really a bad-"
"Captain," interrupted Celestia, "tell us your plan."
"Well... do you remember about a week ago, when Lord High Tower was robbed? The thieves took that special necklace he owned?" Celestia and Luna nodded. "Well, my guards did a little digging, and they found something strange. It wasn't just some random crook like we thought. There was a whole group involved, calling themselves the 'Equestrian Thieves Guild'. We looked into their name, and it seems like almost every high profile crime committed during the last month has involved them in some way or another."
"And you think that perhaps this Guild has kidnapped Twilight?" Celestia's voice grew with anger. The captain shook his head.
"No, that sounds pretty unlikely. They don't seem to have any interest in kidnapping, just burglary. It's just that, well, they advertise themselves as being able to pull off any job." He paused and looked the princesses in the eye. "Any. Job."
"Including locating a missing princess?" Guessed Luna. The captain shrugged.
"They don't really specify, they just claim to be able to do anything. And, from what we've seen so far, it seems like it may be more than just idle boasting."
Luna tilted her head in thought. "Even if they could do it, it may not be wise for us to employ criminals for important state missions. Some ponies might view it as us sponsoring organized crime."
"It was just a thought," said the captain, "considering all our other ideas are falling short of the mark."
"Contact them." Luna and the captain turned in surprise to Celestia, who had spoken just louder than a whisper. She looked up, and both could see a spark burning in her eyes. "Tell them we will pay whatever price if they can find my student." The captain bowed.
"I'll put word out on the street." He turned on his hoof and left the room. Luna turned to her sister.
"Are you sure that was wise?" She asked. "Equestria has been free of organized crime for almost a millennium. If we allow this Guild room to grow, what might they become?"
"I do not care." Celestia's spoke in a voice of iron. "My student is missing. I will do whatever I must to have her back." Luna frowned, but nodded.
"Indeed. Whatever must be done."
That night, Luna stood out on her balcony. She surveyed the city of Canterlot spread out beneath her, knowing that Twilight could at that very moment be in one of those buildings.
Luna's stomach growled unhappily, and she realized that she had not eaten for several hours. She decided to go down to the kitchen to find a late night snack. She opened her door and almost ran straight into a servant about to enter. The maid let out a yelp of surprise.
"What is it? Have you need of something?" Asked Luna. The maid gulped.
"I have a message, your majesty."
"From who?"
"He didn't say. Just that he knew you wanted to talk. He said to tell you, 'My office will have a single white rose on the desk. Don't keep me waiting.'" Luna raised an eyebrow and the maid winced. "I'm sorry, I don't know what it means."
"That is alright. You have done me a great service. Please, take the rest of this night off." The maid gave a brief curtsy and scurried away. Luna shut her door and returned to the balcony. She looked out over the city streets, then closed her eyes and willed herself to enter the dream realm.
Being in the dream realm was like being underwater, surrounded by hundreds of bubbles. Each bubble represented a sleeping pony, and the dreams they were experiencing. Luna glided past them, searching for a white rose.
After a time, she found what she was looking for. She willed the dream to come closer, then passed into it. The dream was a simple room. The walls were bare of any adornment, there were no doors or windows, and the only furniture was a pair of chairs and a single desk. Upon the desk sat a single white rose.
Seated behind the desk was a shadowy figure. Luna realized that whoever the pony was, they were hiding their true form from her. "Impressive," she conceded. "There are few who could successfully conceal themselves from me in a dream."
The figure's voice was utterly flat, and Luna realized it was being concealed as well. "I understand you have a job for my organization?"
"Indeed," Luna said as she took a seat. "I am surprised you found out so quickly, as the offer was just given this morning."
"With the hunt for Twilight Sparkle dragging on as long as it has been, it was just a matter of time before you came to us. I have been waiting for you to reach out." The figure gestured, and a bottle of wine appeared on the table, along with two glasses. "Would you care for something to drink?" Luna nodded. The figure poured out a pair of drinks and handed one to Luna. She took a sip.
"Goldenbury," she said. "I see you have a fine taste."
"It was my father's favorite," replied the figure. "I lost him some years ago, but I find that drinking it keeps his memory close. But I digress. The job?"
Luna nodded. "Can you do it?"
The figure lacked a face, but Luna could practically sense it's smile. "Give us just a single day, and you will have Princess Twilight back safe and sound."
Luna failed to conceal her surprise. "Surely you jest? You cannot mean that you can do in a single day what the might of the princesses and the royal guard failed to do in three?" The figure chuckled.
"I mean just that. You may have more power than any pony in Equestria, but it is a hammer. It works best when it has a clear obstacle to oppose. But when your enemies are unknown, pure force is not enough. The hammer must be replaced with a scalpel. And my organization is just that; a scalpel. So I ask you. Do we have a deal?" Luna stared at the figure's outstretched hoof. Finally, she reached out and shook it.
"How much will it cost?" The figure leaned back in it's chair, staring up at the sky in thought.
"I believe five thousand should suffice. Provided you can accommodate such a sum?" Once more, Luna was taken off guard.
"If I didn't know better, I would think you were joking. Such a paltry sum? I don't mean to complain, but most ponies in your position would demand a fortune for this kind of work."
"I would do this for free, but an organization has costs to keep it running." The figure took in Luna's shocked expression. "Understand, I live in Equestria just as you. I understand who keeps us safe from our enemies. If one of the Elements of Harmony went missing, what would we do the next time Tirek attacks us, or Chrysalis? If Equestria was to come under attack, I would be in as much peril as any other."
"Well... in that case, we can meet your payment. How would you like it delivered?" The figure reached into it's desk and drew forth a piece of paper and a quill. It wrote down an address and slid it over to Luna.
"This is the address to a warehouse I own. Deliver the payment there, in cash. My associates will retrieve it. Do not attempt to apprehend them in the act." Luna memorized the address, then nodded. "I believe our business is concluded."
"I believe it is. Do not disappoint us." Luna turned and flew out from the dream. The figure sat at the desk a moment longer, savoring the taste of the Goldenbury. He looked down at the bottle.
"Do not worry, father," said Check Mate. "I have not forgotten my promises. Very soon, I shall deliver on them." He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he lay in his bed. He rose and left the room. Downstairs in the living room, he found the rest of the guild already arrayed.
"We are moving ahead with the plan," he announced. "You all know your parts. I expect you to play them well. If we fail, everything we have built will come crashing down around us. If we succeed, we become legend." He looked each member of the guild in the eye, and each of them nodded their assent. Check Mate smiled.
"Do not disappoint."
The Equestrian Thieves Guild
How the Thieves Guild Stole Hearths Warming
'Twas the eve of Hearths Warming and all cross the land
The city was decked out with holiday cheer,
At the royal palace, the princesses sat
The two ponies inspected this missive so strange,
"We reindeer are tired of making your toys,
As the sisters read on, their horror, it grew,
Criers went out, into the dark night,
Inside were some ponies, a minotaur too,
"This is a crime even we would not do!
The ponies did ponder, and each racked their brain,
So the group did set out, through the wintery night,
There they did spy a strange looking sleigh,
"Those darn greedy ponies think that they can just
"Well no more! From now on, these reindeer are free
The four thieves crept in closer, and began to begin,
All through the night, the four of them worked
"What are you doing!" They cried with a shout.
They leaped on the sleigh, packed in like sardines,
The reindeer came closer, with anger and spite,
The sled flew into action, it pounced into the air,
As the morning sun rose over poor Canterlot,
When up in the sky, what should appear?
All the day of Hearth's Warming, it travelled the land,
Author's Note
I have always been a fan of Calvin and Hobbes. It was more than just a source of entertainment for me, it was like a guidebook on how to be a kid (My friends still tell me I remind them of Hobbes). So when I decided to create a Thieves Guild Hearth's Warming special, I took inspiration from Bill Watterson and decided to write a holiday poem. Being thieves, there was of course only one thing Guild could possibly do, which was steal the holiday, a la Grinch. It is still early in the season, but I figure people probably have plans for the actual holidays, and those plans probably don't include much time for reading my stories. So here it is, in all it's glory. Tell me what you think of my poor rhyming skills in the comment section below, and a happy Hearth's Warming to you all!
The Equestrian Thieves Guild
Check Mate was only seven years old when they took away his family.
Seven years felt old to him. He felt mature. He felt grown up. He felt ready to face the truths of the world. But his feelings were wrong.
In truth, seven years old was far too young. Too young to understand that his father was a powerful figure in the princess's court. Too young to understand that that kind of power bred enemies. Too young to realize just how easy it was for those enemies to accuse his father of treason and have him executed. He was too young to understand any of this. All he understood was that when he was seven, the guards came and took away his father. His father, who was the only family he had left.
The same enemies who had taken his father away took him in. Raising him as a ward, they sought to poison his thoughts of his father. They told him horrible things, and tried to win him to their side, that they might use him later. But Check Mate remembered the walks his father had taken him on. Check Mate remembered the times his father had smiled at him. And Check Mate realized that these ponies were not his friends, but his enemies. And so he waited. And watched. And learned. For years, he lived among his enemies, carefully watching them for weaknesses, for failures, for opportunities that he could exploit.
He learned much in his time as a ward. He learned how to lie. He learned how to smile at your enemy while hating them with every fiber of your being. And as he learned, he waited for an opportunity to arise. And that opportunity came as a young pegasus off the streets.
Stratus had never known a family.
His father had died in the royal guard before he was ever born. His mother had died of grief while giving birth to him, and the doctors had pulled him out of her corpse. From before he could think, he had been juggled around from orphanage to foster home to orphanage, never lasting more than a few months.
It wasn't his fault that he was so naturally curious. For any other foal, such curiosity would have been encouraged and nurtured. His ability to pick locks and sneak through the shadows enabled him to find out as much as he wanted, and he never used his talents maliciously, only for curiosity. But many of those in the homes Stratus was sent to had secrets they preferred to remain hidden, and they made that fact painfully clear to him. However, Stratus was a warrior at heart, and no matter how much his body may have been broken, his spirit never showed a crack.
Of course, he never took a beating if he could avoid it. Rather than slow down, his kleptic habits increased in pace. Mastering the arts of stealth and investigation, there was soon no door that was not his servant, no shadow that was not his cloak, and no pony that was his equal.
Stratus might have lived for many more years in such a state, if not for one dreary day. On that cold day in December, he knew he had gone too far. He had been snooping around the orphanage, when he saw the headmaster doing something that he shouldn't have. Normally, Stratus would have been too sneaky to be caught, but he had never seen something like this before. The distraction was just enough to cause him to slip up, and the headmaster saw him.
Just minutes later, Stratus found himself stumbling through the new fallen snow to escape the bigger foals the headmaster had set on him. The three foals were the largest in the orphanage, and they enforced the headmaster's rule in exchange for special privileges.
Most days, Stratus could have escaped. He had escaped from the three many times before, flying out of reach, or hiding in a dark crevice. But one of his wings hurt where a heavy rock had struck it, and the snow revealed his trail to his pursuers. And so he ran, with the three large foals right on his heels.
It was only a matter of time before they caught him. For them, it was more than just an order from the headmaster. Stratus was the one pony who could truly defy them, and his free spirited nature had made him their constant enemy. As they drove him to the ground, they began to punish him for all their failures over the years.
Stratus was forced into a ball, his body and voice screaming in agony. In that moment he realized that if he did not act, the three foals were going to kill him.
He didn't know how the brick got into his hooves. One second, the largest foal was rearing back for a vicious kick, and the next, he was stumbling backwards, clutching his broken jaw. The three thugs were forced to flee as Stratus wildly flailed about with the brick, striking out in a blind frenzy. Stratus continued swinging the brick long after they had left, the pain clouding his mind. When his head finally cleared, the hopelessness of his situation became clear. He had no home to return to, no friends to take him in, and the cold was already seeping into his bones. To make matters worse, he could feel bones in his body shift around as he moved, and his blood dripped freely, polluting the pure white snow beneath.
Through sheer force of will, he dragged himself into a nearby building. The building was an old warehouse, long since abandoned and stripped of anything useful. But it was out of the wind, and away from any ponies the headmaster might send to finish the job. Curling up in a corner, Stratus hugged his wings tightly around his body, wondering how he would survive. He fell into a deep, fevered sleep.
When his fever broke days later, Stratus realized that he would need to eat. His ribs were beginning to poke out from his already skinny frame, and he could feel his stomach shrinking. Forcing himself to ignore the pain, he dragged his body to a nearby market place. There, he began begging for food, for scraps, for anything any pony could spare. But no pony even gave him a second glance, brushing past him as though he were already dead. Stratus could feel the pain in his stomach growing with every second, and knew that to return to the warehouse was to seal his fate. In that moment, he made a decision.
Years of sneaking had trained him well to be a thief. The stall vendors never even noticed that some of their wares had gone missing, along with the small foal. As Stratus frantically stuffed food into his mouth, feeling his stomach stretching outwards, he realized that no pony truly cared for him. The only pony who could make things better for him was himself.
And that was how, after several years on the streets as a petty thief, he found himself standing outside an enormous mansion. The mansion was nothing special, just another house to most of the nobility. But to Stratus, it was a challenge. Gone were the days when he had to steal food to survive. Thievery was more than just a means of survival to him now. It was adventure. It was excitement. It was his way of shouting his defiance to the world that had forsaken him.
Getting into the mansion was easy for Stratus. Safe in the embrace of his only friends, the shadows, he slipped over the garden wall and slithered into the back door. But once inside, Stratus realized his mistake. From the outside, the mansion had seemed large enough, but inside, it was impossible to find his way around. A maze of doors, walls, and guards assaulted his skills as he desperately searched for something that would satisfy his thirst. As the night wore on, he grew increasingly desperate, knowing that when the sun rose, his window of opportunity would be at an end. Carelessly, he walked around a corner, at the exact second that a young earth pony was approaching. But this mistake was not detrimental to him: it was the single greatest accident that could have happened.
Check Mate had been returning to his room after a night of study when he ran into the pegasus thief. At first, shock overwhelmed him, and he almost cried out in alarm. But he quickly realized that this could be the chance he had been waiting for for seven years. Striking up a conversation, he began trying to win over the pony before him. Stratus, hesitant at first, soon opened up when he realized that the other meant him no harm.
After a few minutes of talking, the two realized the potential benefits each could receive from the other. Stratus saw a wealth of information and strategic insight that could help him achieve even greater feats than ever before. Check Mate saw a chance to finally deliver justice upon the ponies who had destroyed his family. That night, the two of them forged a partnership which would eventually shake Equestria itself.
When the family awoke in the morning, they found their vault completely emptied. All their letters of credit had been taken as well, and when they rushed to the banks, they found that their accounts had been drained. All that was left was a note, signed by a group calling themselves "The Equestrian Thieves Guild." In just a few short months, they were forced to sell everything to keep out of debt. Their noble title was gambled away in a desperate bid for cash, and after a long, slow decay, they were forced to leave Canterlot, and Equestria, forever.
The night after the heist, Stratus and Check Mate toasted their success. As the night wore on, they both began to think about the future. Creating a fake thieves guild had seemed nothing more than a trick to throw their enemies off of their trail, but the more they considered it, the more they liked the idea. Stratus thought of the greater challenges he could take on and the greater rewards he could reap. Check Mate thought of hunting down the others who had ruined his family, and finally having peace from the ancient crime.
It would be many years before the name of the Equestrian Thieves Guild would become common. Many years before their name would strike fear into the hearts of merchants and nobility across the world. Many years before the princesses themselves would lead the hunt for the notorious organization. For now, they were just two ponies in a room that smelled of cheap cigarettes and cheaper booze.
A more promising start has never been had.
Author's Note
So, I finally decided to make an author's note for this story. This is probably long overdue, but better late than never, right?
The Equestrian Thieves Guild
"This is an outrage, I tell you!" Check Mate held in a sigh that was fighting to escape his lips. The pony sitting across from him, a highly overweight unicorn by the name of Golden Chain, had been assaulting his senses for the last few minutes with a vivid recounting of the robbery of his store. "Four ponies, I tell you, four! Just smashed right through the front door and next thing I knew, I was on the floor and my ears were ringing, and those vagabonds just started breaking everything! Everything! They made enough noise to raise the dead, and you know how many guards came? None. None! I tell you, it's a sad day when an honest business pony such as myself has to be afraid of an attack in his own shop, in the middle of the day, in the capital of the greatest nation on the planet! I have half a mind to lodge a formal complaint to the princesses themselves right now-"
"That," Check Mate quickly interjected as he wiped some of Golden Chain's spittle from his cheek, "Sounds like an excellent idea. How about you write to the princesses, then go to the guards and file a report?" Golden Chain sat back with a huff.
"I can't do that. Some of the items that got stolen have some...questionable origins. You should know, you're the one who sold most of them to me." Check Mate frowned. Golden Chain did have a point. The jeweler was one of the Guild's most prominent fences. He had been the one to move most of the goods they collected from Check Mate's foster family. If the guards were to search through his wares, there would be some awkward questions to answer.
"Alright, so the guards are out. That still does not tell me why you are here." Golden Chain gave him a smug smile.
"Oh, it's simple really. I want you to recover my merchandise for me." Check Mate nodded.
"Simple enough, I suppose. We shall have those jewels back to you in no time." Golden Chain waggled a hoof under Check Mate's nose.
"I wasn't finished yet. Just getting back the jewels isn't enough. I want insurance that this won't happen again. I want you to teach those vagabonds a lesson they won't forget." Check Mate arched an eyebrow.
"Threats are not our style."
"Then make them your style! Just get me my damn jewels!" Golden Chain lunged forward in an explosive outburst before letting out a deep breath and sitting back. His oily smile slithered back onto his face. "After all, I am the only pony who can move jewelry for you. It is in your best interest to protect me." He rose from his seat. "This job takes precedence over any of your other business. Until my jewels come back, I won't move any other merchandise for you." With that, he turned and slowly left the bar.
Check Mate watched him leave. Once he was sure the fence was gone, he spoke to the seat behind him. "What do you think?"
"Why do we do business with that asshole again?" Check Mate's partner, Stratus, slid from his seat behind Check Mate to sit across from him. Check Mate let out a slight chuckle.
"I suppose he is a bit of an asshole, but he is a top notch fence, and I would prefer to keep his support. For now. In the meantime, I have a plan regarding our current situation."
"I'm pretty sure I know what this plan is, and I'm pretty sure I don't like it."
"Oh, come now, Stratus, you knew we would need additional help sooner or later."
"Yeah, but could it not be later instead of sooner?"
"Very well then. Feel free to go threaten those ponies yourself."
"You suck, you know that?"
Check Mate smiled. "I am not going to grace that with a reply. In all seriousness, it could be of great benefit to welcome a new member into our fold. Some pony handy in a fight..." His voice was drowned out by a sudden commotion from the far end of the bar. The two thieves turned to see the source of the noise.
It appeared that several ponies had had too much to drink, and a mini brawl had broken out. The ponies responsible rampaged across the room. Tables and chairs in their way were either broken to bits or incorporated into the fighting. The ponies nearby seemed about to join in, and for a moment it seemed that chaos would reign, but those on the fringe of the fight suddenly backed away. They returned to their drinks and did their best to feign ignorance of the fight.
The ponies in the brawl did not notice what had just occurred. They did not notice until two of them were hefted into the air by the scruff of their necks, then slammed together with an audible crack. The sudden noise gave the rest of the brawlers pause. They turned to see the bouncer, an enormous minotaur twice the size of any pony in the room, standing above them. He cracked his knuckles casually. The brawlers shared a quick glance, then scurried out of the bar with their tails between their legs.
Stratus and Check Mate glanced back at each other. Stratus shrugged.
"I suppose we could do worse."
"And with that, a great weight has been lifted from my heart. Brawn!" The minotaur turned to face the two ponies. "How about you come drink with us?" The minotaur surveyed the rest of the bar patrons, who very pointedly avoided eye contact, then shrugged. He crossed the bar in just a few strides and sat down. The chair creaked ominously under his weight.
"Stratus, Check. What's up?"
Check Mate motioned the bar tender to bring over a drink. "Just felt that you deserved some reward for preserving the peace and sanctity of this locale."
Brawn chuckled. "Yeah, and if you pull the other one, I'll break into a song and dance number. What do you really want?"
"This is not about what we want, Brawn, it is about what you want. Specifically, a new job."
Brawn merely stared back. "That's what this is about? You want to offer me a job? Pff. You're not the first ponies to try this, so I'll tell you what I told them. I'm perfectly happy staying on the right side of the law. You can go ahead and find some other thug to beat ponies up." The bartender arrived with a flagon of ale. Brawn downed it in a single swig. "Thanks for the drink." He rose and began to walk away. He had gone just a few feet when he stopped. His shoulders dropped in a sigh, then he squared them and turned around.
"Just for the sake of argument, what exactly would you need?"
"We would need some thug to beat some ponies up." Brawn let out a snort.
"Yeah, I bet you do. It pay well?"
"Better than this."
"Any fun?"
"The most you have ever had."
"That's a pretty steep order to fill." Brawn stroked his beard in contemplation. "You know what? Why not, I'm in. Who are we roughing up?"
"That is what we need to find out."
"Sure sounds fun. Give me an hour till my shift ends, then we can go."
Glass Jewel leaped to his hooves as the customer entered his shop. The earth pony was obviously from the upper class, and was likely to spend a lot of money.
"Ah, good day to you, sir? Could I perhaps be of assistance?" The earth pony looked up from his inspection of a display.
"Why, as a matter of fact, you could. I am courting with a most lovely young mare, and I need something to win her heart."
"In that case, you've come to the right shop! Our jewelry is the top of the line, leagues above our competitors! If you would direct your attention to these necklaces, I'm sure one of them will catch your eye!" The customer looked at the display.
"Why, those may be the most lovely necklaces I have ever seen. I think I like that one." Glass Jewel felt his smile grow.
"Excellent! The necklace is on a special discount, just-"
"You know, that necklace looks rather familiar."
Glass Jewel's smile faltered just slightly. "Oh?"
"I am almost positive I have seen it before. Where was it? Oh, how could I forget? It was in the shop of my dear friend, Golden Chain. He just got robbed, did you hear? I would bet those thieves could not wait to pass their gains off. Probably want to sell it to some second rate jewelry store, nice and far from the crime scene. Much like this place, I would imagine."
Glass Jewel began to sweat. "Sir, I don't know what you're implying, but I can assure you that all my wares were fairly bought."
The customer smiled at him, but Glass Jewel felt no warmth from it.
"Are you insulting my intelligence?" Glass pursed his lips and looked around for some way out. There was none. "I do not like it when ponies insult my intelligence. But, and this is the important part, my friend likes it even less." Glass Jewel was just about to run for the door when the opening was filled with an enormous wall of fur and muscle. Glass gulped and slowly raised his eyes to meet the face of the minotaur who now stood in his shop. The minotaur stared back.
The customer, who Glass Jewel could now safely say was not a customer, barely acknowledged the hulking monster behind him. He slowly advanced towards Glass Jewel. Glass tried to back away, but felt his retreat blocked by the counter. The customer pressed his face in close. "I am not going to ask again. Where did you get those jewels?" Glass Jewel heard the sound of the minotaur's knuckles crack. They sounded painful. He made a decision.
He had a professional reputation to maintain. Ponies sold to him because they knew he was discreet and fast. If he caved now and gave in one of his sources, it would ruin his image.
Of course, if he didn't talk, that minotaur's fists would ruin his image worse. And at the end of the day, the flank he had to worry about most was his own.
Brawn looked across at Stratus. They had found almost half of the missing jewelry in the store, and the owner had been more than happy to share the location of the rest. Now, Check Mate was overseeing the jewelry's safe return while Brawn and Stratus scouted out the other place.
The information from the jeweler had led them to a run down old warehouse. The pegasus and the minotaur now sat in silence in a nearby alley.
Brawn glanced over at Stratus, then coughed into his hand.
"Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" Stratus glanced back.
"Ok, what are you doing?"
"Look, we've been sitting here for almost an hour and you haven't said a word. What's up?"
Stratus shifted his weight and looked away. "Nothing's up. Just haven't been talking." He remained silent for a moment, then sighed. "Look, it's nothing about you. You seem like a nice enough guy, but I just don't trust ponies. Or minotaurs, for that matter."
"You trust Check Mate."
"That's different."
"How so?"
"We have a mutual need for each other. I need some pony to make the plans, he needs some pony to carry them out."
Brawn nodded along slowly. "I get it. You trust him because you have to." The two stood in silence for a few minutes. "Of course, I kept your secret."
Stratus almost leaped into the air, then tried unsuccessfully to mask his surprise. "What-what secret? I don't have a secret. I mean, I have plenty of secrets, but none that you-"
"I know you can't fly."
Stratus bristled. "I can fly."
"Then do it. Right now."
"I would, but if I did, it might... give away our location! Yeah! We don't want any pony in the warehouse to know where we are!" Brawn gave Stratus a level stare. Stratus finally looked away. "Does any pony else know?"
"Just me. If you don't mind me asking, how did it happen?"
"I got beaten up real bad as a foal one day. My wing got hit with a brick. I didn't know anything about first aid or splints, so I just hoped it would get better." Stratus stretched out his left wing. It hung at a crooked angle, and Stratus grimaced in pain at the effort. Brawn nodded.
"Sorry to hear that." Stratus grunted in response.
"If you tell any pony, I will ruin your life," he threatened. Brawn lifted his hands in a calming pose.
"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. You can trust me." Brawn thought for a moment. "You said you only trust Check Mate because of mutual need, right?" Stratus slowly nodded. "Ok then, now we have mutual need." Stratus looked questioningly at him. "I know your secret. It's only fair if you know mine." He leaned close and whispered something into Stratus' ear. Stratus looked startled, then looked at the minotaur with new respect.
"Sorry to hear that," he said. Brawn gave a sympathetic smile.
"Well there you go. I keep your secret, you keep mine. Now, we have mutual need, and we can trust each other. Sound fair?" Stratus thought about it for a moment, then nodded.
"Yeah, I guess I can work with that." The two shook, hand and hoof.
"What's going on here?" They turned to see Check Mate approaching.
"Just getting to know each other a little better," said Stratus.
"That sounds wonderful. Are the two of you ready to deliver a message?" They both nodded. Stratus gave Brawn a sly grin.
"So, any ideas for what you're gonna do?"
"I was thinking I would go in, politely explain to them why stealing from honest business ponies is wrong, then put somebody's head through a brick wall to make my point." The minotaur rose to his full height, and suddenly the alley seemed much smaller. Stratus stepped aside and gave a courteous sweep with his arm.
"Ladies first." Brawn stared down at him.
"You know, I would prefer the head I put through a wall be one of theirs, but in a pinch, I'll just take whatever crook is closest." Stratus quickly backed away. Brawn chuckled, cracked his knuckles once, then strode forwards into the warehouse.
Less than an hour later, the trio sat back in their usual seats at the bar. Each of them had a smile on their face and a drink in the air.
"To a job well done," toasted Check Mate, and all three drank. Check Mate set his mug down first with a sigh of contentment. "Before any of us become to intoxicated to remember, we should split up our pay. Here you go." He slid two sizeable sacks of coin across the table to his companions. Brawn lifted his up with a look of surprise.
"Either I've drunk more than I think I have, or there was some mistake. This is almost two months of wages for me."
"Yes, there was a most peculiar coincidence. It turned out that in Glass Jewel's shop, there were several pieces he had not even known were stolen. I chose to appropriate those, in addition to reclaiming Mr. Chain's lost property."
Stratus grinned at him. "And did you tell Mr. Chain about those pieces?" Check Mate merely smiled in response. Brawn chuckled.
"Well, thank you two for that. Money has been a bit tight for me lately, so I'll take anything I can get." Stratus looked over at him, then dumped his sack of bits onto the table and slid half of them over to Brawn.
"Here, you can take some of mine." He went to take another drink, then stopped when he saw the other's expressions. "What? I don't really need the money that bad right now. Besides, you earned it." Check Mate lifted a hoof to his ear.
"Wait, do you hear that? I hear a mysterious beating sound from Stratus. Why, I cannot believe it, he just grew a heart!" Stratus stuck out his tongue at his partner and went back to his drink. Brawn smiled at their antics.
"I have just one question. Every pony in here has some shady dealings, but you two seem cut from a different cloth. Who are you, really?" Stratus and Check Mate shared a quick glance.
"Should we tell him?" Check Mate asked. Stratus shrugged.
"Sure. I trust him." Check Mate turned to Brawn.
"Have you read the newspaper recently?" Brawn nodded. "Read any stories about one 'Thieves Guild'?" Brawn looked puzzled for a moment, then a smile spread on his face.
"I have. According to the papers, they're the 'most dastardly, mysterious organization in recent history, with eyes and ears all over the city, and enough manpower to pull off any job.'"
"Well, my friend, you presently have the honor of drinking with both halves of said Guild." Brawn threw back his head and roared with laughter.
"I knew it! I knew there was something about you two! Ha! Just think, all those stories and rumors, and you're just two ponies drinking in a second rate bar." Check Mate smiled.
"That is true. Of course, if you would like, that number could change to three." Brawn laughed for a moment longer, then stopped. Confusion flickered onto his face.
"Wait. Did you just offer me a job?"
"I can promise you pay at least this good or better on a regular basis."
"I don't know." Brawn shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, the money is good, and I like you guys, but I'm no thief."
"We are not asking you to be. We already have one thief, and there are times that I feel that is one too many. No, what we need is a guard."
Brawn frowned. "To guard what?"
The two ponies, plus their minotaur companion, stood before an old, decrepit house. It stood isolated from it's neighbors by a tall stone wall, and an iron wrought gate separated the drive from the street. The house itself was old brickwork, with windows dotted sporadically about.
"When did you buy this?" Stratus asked incredulously.
"I just finished the paperwork today. It cost a small fortune to acquire. Luckily for us, we had one. Come, see the inside." The three of them pushed the gate open and walked up the gravel drive. The front door squeaked open on rusty hinges to reveal a dusty entry hall.
"The house belonged to Baron Nut Meg, many years ago. He was something of a paranoid eccentric, and there are several hidden rooms and passages throughout."
"Secret passages?" Stratus asked.
"Yes. I was just going to ask you if you would like to search for them. I feel that you may have more luck than the pony selling this house." Stratus grinned and trotted off down a corridor. Check Mate turned to Brawn.
"So, have you decided on my offer? We would supply you with lodging, a reasonable paycheck, and several other benefits." Brawn nodded.
"I just have one condition."
"Name it."
"You're hiring me as a guard, and that's what I'm going to be. No going out to rough ponies up, no shakedowns or assaults, no tagging along on jobs. I do have some morals." Check Mate nodded.
"I believe we can accommodate that." Brawn smiled.
"In that case, you can count me in." He extended his hand. Check Mate took it and shook.
"Mr. Brawn, welcome to the Thieves Guild."
Ace let out a groan. How had it all gone so wrong? They had done the job perfectly. No pony had seen their faces, they passed off the jewelry to a trusted buyer, they had held some of it back, yet here they stood, nothing to show for their efforts.
Bouncer, the de facto leader of their small gang, was chewing them out.
"You just stood back and let them take it! Not one of you did a thing to stop them!"
"I didn't see you doing much, Bouncer."
"That's because that minotaur put my head through a wall!" Bouncer seethed with rage. Ace decided that it was time to intervene.
"Look, why don't we calm down? We lost the money, but we're all okay. We can find some way to get it back."
"'Oh, stay calm, Bouncer. It's not like we just lost almost fifty thousand bits!'" Bouncer responded with a sarcastic imitation of Ace's voice, slowly dissolving into anger. The gang leader threw his head around, looking for another target for his anger. "And look at that! One of you idiots left the damn window open! Any guard passing by here probably heard every damn thing we said! One of you spineless failures go close it!" Ace bit back a retort and went to the window. He knew that he had to come up with something. His little sister's school tuition was coming up soon, and unless his parents had crawled out of their bottles and gotten a job, it would be up to him to pay it. Again. He needed the money, and fast.
Ace stepped up to the window and began to close it. As he did, he felt something hot prick his neck for a second. The sensation was so abrupt, he did not even cry out. He simply staggered back away from the window and turned to face his gang. Bouncer looked over at him with an expression of disgust.
"Why is that window still open? I thought I told you..." his voice trailed off, and his face slowly shifted to a mask of horror. Ace wondered what was wrong. He tried to ask, but to his surprise, he could not speak. He touched a hoof to his neck. It pulled away red with blood. He had just enough time to wonder whose it was before his legs stopped working and he fell to the ground.
He lifted his head in time to see a pair of knives take Ivory and Breeze in the chests. The two ponies fell without a sound. Bouncer stared in horror as a figure appeared before him. The lights in the room were growing dark for Ace, but he could make out the faint silhouette of a pony. The pony slowly advanced toward Bouncer, who backed away hurriedly. Bouncer's gaze was focused on the pony before him, so he could not see Ace's prone body when he tripped over it. The pony stepped over Ace and pressed on for Bouncer. Ace could not find the strength to turn his head to see what happened, but he heard Bouncer's begging silenced abruptly. Something warm splashed along the back of Ace's head. Ace wondered what it might be for a moment, but decided that it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was trying to figure out how to pay his sister's tuition so she wouldn't be like him.
He was still trying to find an answer when he bled out on the floor.
The figure responsible for the four deaths contemplated the bodies for no more than a moment before turning away. It walked out the door with a measured pace. Just as it left the warehouse, there was a slight flash of light, and the building erupted into flame.
By the time the guards arrived on the scene, the four bodies inside had been reduced to ash. The only thing the guards found was a ruined husk of building, and the smell of destruction.
