A Real Shocker!

Chapters

Prologue.
Chapter 2: Moving In
Chapter 3: The Ticket Master
Chapter 4: The Update and a Fight
Chapter 5: I couldn't come up with a name so I made a Fall Out Boy song instead
Chapter 6: Dragon Slayers
Chapter 7: Dog and Pony Show
Chapter 8: Our New Roommate
Chapter 9: Luna Eclipsed
Chapter 10: Meeting The Sparkles
Chapter 11: Short Fluff Because I'm Sick
Chapter 12: Equestrian Relations
Chapter 13: Training Regime
Chapter 15: It's About Time
Chapter 16: Magical Diplomacy
Chapter 17: The Invasion.
I'm Back with a Brand New Rap!
Chapter 1: Was Poppin' Moonie
Chapter 14: Hearth's Warming Surprise
Not a chapter, just an update on my current situation and shit.

Prologue.

Chapter 0: The Convention.

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

Taking a bite out of the $5 burger I got at good old Maccy Deez nuts, I look around the Comic-Con at all of the people who put effort into wearing a costume, so far I see a couple video-game characters, anime characters, and of course comic book characters. I chose to wear my favorite costume of my all-time favorite character, Me, The man who couldn't waste all that much money on shit like that.

I work as a Sous Chef at a local bistro back home, sure I make a lot of money but all of that money is then spent on my apartment, bills, personal items and of course ~~porn~~... I mean food. I've never been the best at rationalizing the reason behind wearing costumes, I mean I get the point, but even as a kid I never saw the reason. Even on Halloween instead of buying a costume I just used the money I would have spent on the costume, to buy candy instead. I was one of those kids, But I'm going off track here.

As I look around the crowd I see a man wearing an RE4 merchant costume working behind a stand looking bored as all hell. Looking at the stand and then the merch that I've acquired so far (mainly One Piece merch), I think to myself (Eh, why the fuck not. I've got $100 and a dream; I'm getting paid to buy shit.) Walking over to the stand the Merchants eyes widen in surprise before he stands straight up and dusts himself off. "Welcome Traveller, Interested in my wares?" As he says this he sweeps his arms over the tables, showing many items such as a Needler from Halo, Loki's helmet from The Avengers, and... is that Roronoa Zoro's Haramaki or is it just a rag he uses to wipe shit down with?

Whatever, that ain't my problem. If this guy is who I think he is I'm sure my life just got far more interesting. "Hey, I'm about to ask something incredibly stupid, but if I'm right can you tell me the truth?" I question the merchant. Nodding, he motions for me to continue, "Are you the Interdimensional Merchant guy I read about in all of those fan-fics?" I ask with my right brow inquisitively raised.

Chuckling to himself he nods, "Sure am Stranger, but are you sure someone of your... type, should be buying something at this stand?" He asks probably trying to goad me.

Looking down at myself, I see that my usually white long-sleeved shirt has a mustard stain on the front of it. Licking my thumb I try to remove it with no luck. I'm about 5'9" with Dirty Blonde hair currently pulled into a ponytail with my bangs left hanging, tickling my slightly tanned forehead. Over the years I haven't been lazy, I weigh about 180lbs of muscle thanks to the Muay Thai class I've been taking for about 2 years now. "I may not be in a costume, but I assure you sir when I go to any stand, I intend to buy something."

Sighing, He waves his hand back over his wares one more time before informing me, "Well then just remember, All sales are final." with that he reclines back into a chair, probably ready to make a deal.

(What the hell should I buy anyways. I mean I only really read One Piece and I only really know of Equestria through FimFiction. If I was going to buy something that would displace me I'd want to be overpowered as fuck so I wouldn't die immediately, I mean seriously if all of the fanfics are correct then my ass will probably be sent to that Everfree Forest place they always write about. If I could take anything from that world I'd take a Logia Fruit, The ability to become untouchable would certainly help a bit. The Mera Mera no Mi? Nah I'd probably burn down the forest if I chose that one... How about that fruit Eneru had, what was it the Goro Goro no Mi? yeah that one would work, I mean that guy was OP as fuck with his Haki.)

Making a decision I open my mouth to speak and am immediately interrupted, "Yeah, I know, The Goro Goro no Mi. You should really learn to think without speaking, It might save your life one day." He chides me as if I was a child. He reaches underneath his table and pulls out a Bright Turquoise Lightning-bolt shaped banana and says "Just take it and go, I have a rule where if you know who I am you get an item for free as long as you buy something else with it."

Well shit, now I'm blushing. Embarrassingly I reach over and grab the banana, "Yeah, that's probably a good idea..." I concede. "Well, then I guess I'll buy Zoro's Haramaki too," I say as I pull out my wallet.

"$100" He deadpans, probably annoyed by my presence. Placing the money in his hand I grab the bandana and then everything goes white."Have fun there- Stranger..." was the last thing I heard.

Chapter 2: Moving In

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

I got bored of waiting around in that cave about 2 days of waiting into it so I melted the throne into a bunch of gold bars and took them to the bank in Ponyville, with all the jewels the bank gave me a rough estimate of about 10 Million bits, Making me about as rich as Filthy Rich.(Man I done burgled myself into fancy drinks and fine dining.)

Heading down to City Hall, I'm suddenly accosted by none other than our favorite resident Party Planner, Pinkie Pie. "Hey Arty, Whatcha doin' here in Ponyville?" She asks, bouncing alongside me as I walk.

"I got bored of living in a forest, so I decided to quit my job as Guardian of the Forest and just live here instead," Using my Gold Bo Staff as a walking stick.

"Oh, That's Great! I get to throw you a "Welcome to Ponyville Party"!" As she says this she jumps high into the air, Confetti firing out of her hair.

Not wanting to go insane thinking about how that's impossible, I just continue walking, Taking in the sights of the town as I start pimp-walking. "So how have you been Ponka Plops?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation rolling.

"I've been great! Work at the Sugarcube Corner keeps me busy, Oh have I told you about Sugarcube Corner yet? I don't think I have-" Zoning out as she rambles on I see a familiar face in the crowd of ponies. Applejack and her sister are running their food stand further down the road. Waving at her, I try to get her attention... She isn't noticing me so I decide to do something drastic. Phasing into the ground I leave Pinkie behind as she rambles on about a Cart being on fire or something, I come out of the ground a few feet away from the stand and start walking towards it.

"Well Howdy there Arthur, I'm surprised to see ya so far from the forest, with you bein' the guardian of the place and all. What brings ya down here?" She inquires. Her sister seems scared at the fact that a grown man just came out of the ground.

"I quit my old job as guardian because it was too boring, I've decided to move here instead. I figure the forest is always in a state of disarray anyway, so there's not really much I can do to fix/stop it. I found some money while living there and I'm heading down to City Hall right now to buy a place to live. I'll probably be stopping by this stand every day, so get used to seeing my ugly mug around here." I state with a grin

"Ah shoot Arthur, you're hardly what I'd call ugly but hey, you're always welcome here!" She smiles and asks, "See anythin' you'd like to take with ya?"

Taking a flirty tone of voice I reply with, "Well, You... But I'm sure that's off the menu. Otherwise, I'll probably just take a Red Delicious apple." Deadpanning she takes one out and tosses it to me, I throw her 10 bits and start walking away when I hear someone call out my name from behind me.

"Hey Arthur, Ya over-payed by a few bits!" AJ calls out.

"Keep them, Use them for your farm!" I shout back.

Ignoring whatever she says next, I continue on my way until I get to City Hall. (Man, this is a big-ass fucking building, seriously it's gotta be at least 10 stories tall. For such a small town why does it need such a large City Hall, Like seriously who needs these many floors for- You know what I'm not gonna ask...) Heading to the front desk I ask the secretary about property nearby that I could purchase, at this she rolls her eyes and points me towards the 3rd floor. (Oh, that's why you need so many floors.) Instead of climbing up the stairs like someone normal would, I just phase up there, spooking the hell out of a nearby person waiting in line. Oh, Jesus, there's a line, Sighing I take my place in line and start waiting.

(Time-Skip One Hour)

Finally making my way up to the front desk the woman sitting behind the desk asks, "Are you here about Property Damage?"

"Property Damage? I thought this was the line to ask about buying property?"

Sighing, she points me towards a nearby door. "That's where you buy property sir, now if you'd please get out of the way, I have other people I need to help."

(I WASN'T EVEN IN THE RIGHT FUCKING PLACE!!!!) Unconsciously channeling electricity into my Bo Staff, I light the carpet beneath it on fire, prompting me to snap out of my stupidity induced rage to stop it out.

Making my way into the room I find that it's your standard law office, and by that, I mean boring as hell with nothing of any real notice. At the desk I see a man with brown hair slicked back into a pompadour hairstyle, wearing a black suit and red tie combo. "May I help you sir?" he asks

(mAy i hELp yOu SiR!) Officially done with his shit, I recognize him as Filthy Rich. I guess the guy has to have some sort of day job beyond just being rich and spending time with his money. "I just spent the last hour of my life in the wrong line, just give me a list of houses and I'll pick one. I'll be buying outright with money I have on me right now." Surprised by my forwardness, he does just that and I'm out of there in an hour, having bought a small one room, one bathroom house with a large kitchen.

Heading to nearby furniture shops I buy everything I need and then for the next few hours I buy food and ingredients, taking all of the food and shit with me I put them on the shelves and in the fridge. Waiting for the Furniture Delivery men/women; let us not be sexist here, it's 2017 back home; I show them where I'd like all of my shit and then tip them graciously, as I was kind of a stickler.

Now... for the moment I've been putting off for some time... I've gotta go buy clothes and the best person to go to for this shit is Rarity. I didn't want to go see her as I know our personalities are almost polar opposites. I'm a dank old meme-boi who loves getting dirty. She's a prim and proper woman with high-class tastes. Heading to a nearby liquor store I buy a bottle of whiskey and make my way there, prepared to drink till I drop.

Reaching Carousel Boutique, I knock on the door hesitantly, Knowing I'll probably regret this. "It's open!" I hear someone shout from inside. Making my way inside, I find nose is immediately assaulted by the smell of perfume. (Oh my god it's in my mouth... It's not that bad actually, it tastes the way Lilac smells... Man I'm kind of stupid aren't I?) I'm torn from my thoughts by Rarity coming into the room. "Ah! Hello Arthur, I wasn't expecting one such as yourself to come here, let alone willingly." Oh, she is just a card isn't she. "What is it you need help with?"

Taking a deep breath, I reply slowly, cringing my face as I say, "I need some clothes and you're the best person I could think of that could help me..." As I finish, I look over at Rarity, her mouth is agape and she looks like god himself just gave her a golden club sandwich or something. Inhaling sharply she makes a loud *Squeee!* sound and pulls me into the back room. (This is where I'm gonna die isn't it? All this power and I'm done in by a seamstress. I give all of my known possessions to spike. Let the man get all of my money, grow into a giant dragon, and let him ravage the country-side in my honor.)

(Time-Skip 2 Hours)

It actually wasn't that bad, to be honest. She mainly talked about town gossip and asked what I was doing in Ponyville, After I told her what I was doing she seemed kind of happy for some reason. After she ogled my muscles, she set off making a couple of shirts, pants, and a new pair of shoes. With a little bribery, I also convinced her to make me a Steven Universe Star Hoodie. (I'll wear this till I die. None of the shirts I bought will ever see the light of day as long as I have this.) Making my way back home, I throw open the front door and almost set off a "Sango." in surprise as I'm shot by a round from Pinkie's Party Cannon. "Surprise!!!!!" I hear a room full of people yell. Looking around I see the Mane 6; Rarity somehow managing to beat me to my own home; a couple of strangers, and the Cake family, all crowded into my small home. On a nearby table, I see a cake with expertly written frosting saying, "Welcome to Ponyville Arthur!" on it.

"Who told you about my house?" I ask Pinkie.

"Were you surprised? I'm sure you were!" She replies.

"Who the hell told you where I lived?" I repeat.

"Oh, silly Arty! I broke into Filthy Rich's office and looked at his ledger to find your address!" She says, finally telling me the truth.

(.... This is where I'm gonna die isn't it?) Officially creeped out, but oddly flattered, I open the bottle of whiskey I bought earlier and chug it, knowing Zoro's resistance to alcohol will probably make sure it does nothing to me. I walk over to the table and grab some cake, starting the official party off with a bang. I'm sure my days in Ponyville will be far more eventful in the coming months, More so than that boring ass forest I know that for sure.

Author's Note

I'm kind of just making this story up as I go along, as I didn't really expect anyone to read it, let alone like it. If any of you have any tips or tricks please feel free to share, as this is my first fanfiction. Every chapter is subject to change and might be deleted if I think I can come up with something better. My first idea for a fan-fic was someone who was displaced as All Might where he would return back to normal when the 3-hour time limit ran out. The steven universe hoodie thing is because I actually have one that I'm wearing right now, much like the main character, when I have a hoodie I'll wear the damn thing even in Colorado's blistering summer where its 102 degrees outside.

Chapter 3: The Ticket Master

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names

As it turns out, there are multiple things in here in Equestria that I previously thought not possible. One item being, this world has its own version of GameStop. Yeah, Equestria has video games. Leaning against a nearby wall I look into my bags. I see my new PonyStation 4 (God, just saying that hurts me.), and a large myriad of games ranging from FPMF (First-Person Midevil Fighter) to RTS's. "Arthur, Hide me!" I hear from further down the street. Looking up I see Twilight and Spike running towards me as a large group of people searches for them. Ah, I guess we're at The Ticket Master already.

As Twilight reaches me I yell "Hey, She's Over there!" and point to my right. Dropping my bags, I pull her towards me. I press her against the wall and put her in a Kabe-Don. Putting my lips to hers, I hide her face using mine. Using my power of electricity I bring some to my lips to tickle hers, wanting to make her first kiss memorable not just for its stupidity, but for how great it is. It becomes an all-out battle between the two of us, her quickly losing and surrendering to my kiss. Reaching out with my Haki I feel the crowd charge past us. Finally pulling my face from hers, I act as if nothing happened. "Think that worked?"

Not receiving an answer I look at her face, where it's a bright red. She's smiling lightly, flustered at what happened. Spike's jaw is literally on the ground in shock. (Holy shit that looks unnatural, but I guess cartoon physics still take precedence here.)"Ah, Um, Hehe, Tha-*giggles* I'vegottagobye!" Pulling her wand from her breast pocket she disappears in a flash of purple light.

Turning my gaze to Spike I see he looks like this,

"And that's, how you do it... I have some more shopping I need to do. Wanna help me?" I say as I pick my bags back up. Nodding, he slowly follows behind me. After dropping off the games, I head to the train station to buy two tickets.

"Where are we headed?" Spike asks, as we find our seats and sit down.

"Well I've never been to Canterlot and you probably know the City better than I do. I need to find a store that sells Weights and Fitness gear, do you know any stores like that or are we both just gonna be putzing about?" I ask as the train sets off.

"I have no idea where a store like that would be. Maybe we could ask the Princesses if they know anywhere like it?" He shrugs.

"I'm not about to waste their time with that type of shit. Let's just look around, If we can't find a place today, there's always another day. Thanks for coming with by the way."

Smiling, we both recline back and start talking about mundane stuff as the train leaves the station. The ride is fairly uneventful, the only thing I really notice is the fact that Spike is a total bro, Like seriously he's the type of friend who's ride or die, I need to hang out with this little guy more. I'm glad I'll be abusing his friendship today.

As we leave the train I immediately feel like I want to punch everyone here, they all have their noses up in the air as if we common-folk are beneath them. "Hey Spike, you should probably take point from here. I have no idea where we're going." Gesturing for him to lead, he does just that and leads us to the shopping district.

(Time-Skip 3 Hours)

It's been a few hours, checking my phone I see that it's about 4:32 in the afternoon. Looking around at the shopping center I see a theater, Walking towards it Spike follows closely behind. The shows currently playing are Power Ponies: Vengeance of Coloratura, Last Kiss: The Summer of our Lives, and... Holy shit that's Into The Woods! I loved that movie! Buying two tickets I head towards the Concession Stand buying popcorn and sodas for the both of us. "Uh... Dude? I think this is a girls movie." He says hesitantly.

"If you watch this with me, I'll buy you whatever you want for the rest of the trip." As I finish he pulls me towards the theater showing the movie.

(Another Time-skip)

"You know, I was expecting that movie to be like the other ones I watched with Twilight the last few times I came here, But that was pretty good." He says as we sit on the edge of the large fountain in the middle of the Mall.

Getting an Idea I hop into the fountain and music starts playing in the background, (Arthur is Chris Pines and Spike is Billy Magnussen)

Laughing, we both get out of the fountain and fall on the ground, only to hear a cough come from above us. Looking up we see a few guards looking at us cockeyed. (Twilight is gonna kick my ass when we get back.) They grab us by our shoulders and take us back to the Castle Dungeon.

(Holy Shit, Time-skips Aplenty)

"I want to talk to your Captain!" I shout as I shake the bars we're in. The guard looks like he wants to kill me. It's been probably 5 minutes since we were put in here, but as I've proven time and time again, I'm impatient.

"You're only here for another few hours while we get your identification papers, sir. It'll only take a few more hours, just calm down." The guard says once more. I know for a fact they won't be able to find anything for me. (I don't want to be deported!) Spike is playing around with his jacket, trying to pass the time. Completely unaware of my raging thoughts.

"Calm down dude, I've been in here before. It's not so bad as long as you've done nothing wrong. I'm sure we'll be out of here in no time!" He tries to console me.

Getting up close to him I reply, whispering into his ear, "Says you! I don't have identification papers!"

His eyes suddenly widen and his pupils become pin-sized, now he starts freaking out too, "Please! My name is Spike, I'm the Assistant to Princess Celestia's Student, Twilight Sparkle, Sister to the Captain. I need to speak to him now!" As he says this the guard looks at him for a moment before something clicks in his head. Nodding the guard leaves, presumably to get the Captain.

Looking at Spike I see that he's focused entirely on the door in front of him, I set my grand plan into action. I phase myself out of the cell and set off towards the royal barracks, at least where I can feel the largest amount of people. Finding the Training room I start looting as much equipment as I physically can take with me, going from Canterlot to Ponyville every few seconds. After about 10 minutes I manage to clear the entire place out. Phasing back into the cell I sit back down and wait.

About 20-30 minutes later, a man with Blue hair with a few strips of slightly lighter colored hair comes into the room. "Spike, What are you doing in Canterlot? And why are you in the Castle Dungeons again, I thought I told you not to raid the Royal Kitchen!" He chides.

"We need you to let us out!" He shouts.

"What did you guys do? Here give me the report." Taking the report from the guard, he skims through it, chuckling at the part where we tore our shirts open... Probably.

"This is hardly worth placing them in a cell for." Pulling out a key, he lets us out and we start walking out of the castle. "It's great seeing you again Spike, How's Twilight been? and who's your friend?"

Smiling, He introduces me to Shining Armor, "She's fine, This is Arthur Mayhew, He's my friend. We came to Canterlot to buy some fitness equipment for him. We couldn't really find a store that sells any, so we went and watched a movie instead, You should really go watch it! It's called Into The Woods."

Zoning out of the conversation I start thinking about how today went. (I kissed Twilight, that's a big plus. Got lost, That's a Minus. Got to watch a Movie I loved from home, that's a big plus. Got arrested, that's a minus. My extremely convoluted plan worked, huge plus in my eyes.) Zoning back in I see Shining Armor looking at me in shock, while Spike is mid facepalm... I fucking said that shit out loud didn't I? Picking Spike up I cut and run towards the Train Station in the distance, Yelling thanks to the Guard Captain.

About an hour later, we're back in Ponyville in front of the library. "You tell Twilight about me getting you arrested, I'll tell Rarity you sang and danced in a fountain with me."

"You tell Rarity about the song and I'll tell Twilight you met her brother," he replies.

... I fucking love this guy sometimes. "I'll take you to the comic shop tomorrow and I'll buy you whatever you want."

"Deal." We shake hands and he enters the library where he is immediately assaulted by Twilight. Walking away I go home and go to bed.

Chapter 4: The Update and a Fight

Chapter One: The Update and a Fight

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

*Vvvvt-Vvvvvt*... Wait, what? Pulling my phone out of my pocket I see a message on my phone... WHAT!!! Opening the message, it reads, "Hello there! If you are receiving this message than this means that you were Displaced by me, Jack. I'm sending this message to warn you all about a new game I'm coming up with where I send a Monster or Enemy from the anime you were originally cosplaying to your world! It will be sent directly to you, so prepare for a fight! I'll send you a message One hour before I send it, so you better run as fast as you can or else you'll be a danger to the ones you care about. If you manage to defeat it, your phone will send you one item of your choosing, directly to you! So for all of those I've Displaced, I say this to you. Good luck!"

Fucking What! *Vvvvt-Vvvvvt* What now!? "There's a Monster coming!" Oh, Mother Fucker!

Running like a bat outta hell, I run past Twilight, Spike, Rarity, and Fluttershy, and by run past, I mean barrel into. "Hey! What's the rush, is everything alright!?" I hear Twilight yell, as I get up and run towards the Everfree Forest as fast as I can.

Making my way deep into the forest I try to come up with a plan. Who the hell is this prick gonna send, is it gonna be Kaido? or maybe Big Mom, Dear god I hope not. Where the hell should I go to fight? I can probably go to where I leveled the forest when that spider jumped on me. That sounds like a good idea. Finally, at the black scorched field, I look down at my hands as they shake. Opening and closing them a few time, I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone. I have a few minutes left, that's good. I should be far enough from civilization, so I can fight at full power without hurting anyone. "There you are, Arthur! We followed you, worried that someone got hurt. What are you doing so far in the Everfree anyways, what happened here?"

OH FUCK! Turning around I see Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy, Walking towards me. "Go back to Ponyville as fast as you can! If I'm not back in a day I'm dead! Now go!" As I say this I push Twilight back and run into the middle of the field. Just as I reach the middle a giant portal opens in front of me. Looking back I see that the girls are near the edge of the forest, but they haven't left yet. They're just watching me in shock, as something steps out.

Looking up I see a giant red foot step out of the portal, slowly the entire thing pulls itself out. Immediately my nose is assaulted by the smell of rotting flesh and chloroform. A Gigantic Red Man, standing at 127' tall looms over the field. Scars plaster his body, Hundreds if not thousands of them can be seen on just his legs alone. Around the giant waist rests enough black cloth to cover the entirety of Ponyville. His right shoulder is so decayed you can see his collarbone. His face is no better, as his lower jaw is loosely held together by stitches, his teeth being shown revealing sharp blade-like teeth the size of houses. With no nose, you'd mistake his face to be a skull, but with the horns upon his head, you'd think he's a devil. The Monster they sent me is none other than Oars: the Undead Giant, from the Thriller Bark Arc from One Piece.

Intimidated would be the softest word to describe me right now, I'm fairly sure I just pissed my pants. Turning away from the Giant I see the girls hiding behind the trees, terrified, Probably more scared than I am, at the moment, As they have no idea what's going on. With them nearby, I can't go all out against him. Steeling my shaking hands, I turn back to the 12, almost 13 stories tall undead. Gritting my teeth, I prepare to make the dumbest decision in my life, next to coming to this fucking universe. "HEY, YOU BIG RED CUNT! LOOK DOWN HERE!" I shout at the top of my lungs. If I remember correctly, he's about as fast as a normal human being, well that human being, being Luffy. So I better be prepared for anything.

Looking down at me, He smiles, parts of flesh falling from his lips as they stretch. "Gomu Gomu no Pistol! He shouts, causing the ground to shake. Without any warning his right fist flies towards me at a speed I can't follow, smashing me into the ground. Pulling his fist back, I'm pulled with it, Bloodied and beaten. If it wasn't for Zoro's resistance to pain, I probably would have died there. I feel all of my ribs are shattered, making it hard to breathe.

It seems the monsters are as strong as I am, That is definitely gonna get me killed.

Phasing through his fist, I climb onto his extended forearm. Sprinting up it, I begin charging power into my hands, hoping this will work. I bring my hands up to my head, splaying out my fingers I yell, "Solar Flare! Releasing a bright light, hopefully blinding him.

Grabbing onto the bandage, I'm pulled up along with it, as he brings his hands up to his face. Letting go as they reach his face, I'm flung into the air above him, breaking through the clouds forming above us. As I fall back to earth I start coming up with a plan to beat this guy. It's gonna take a lot of luck, but if it doesn't work, Ponyville will probably be destroyed, My friends dying with it.

Falling towards his face, I see that he's watching me. Crouching down he brings his arms up in a familiar pose, after that, they become as black as obsidian, covered in Armament Haki. "Gomu Gomu no Gatling Gun! He screams, as his limbs rocket towards me. I really need to come up with a way to fly. Bashing me with a barrage of extremely strong punches, I'm flung to the edge of the field, crashing to the ground creating a crater.

Shakingly standing up, I throw a spark into air hiding it in the clouds, "Rising Raiden!". As it doesn't touch anything it doesn't explode. (Perfect!) Running around the perimeter, I dodge and phase through some more attacks, having thrown a few more "Rising Raiden"'s into the air. Suddenly I turn and start charging the giant, catching him off guard.

As I approach his feet, I hear him yell "Gomu Gomu no Stamp!" shooting his foot at me, trying to crush me like a bug.

"Electro-dome." Creating a barrier between me and the ground I barely hold against the power behind his kick. "Fuse Breaker!" I shout, expanding the barrier outward, lifting his foot off the ground, causing him to start stumbling backward. Going on the offensive, I start running towards him.

Jumping, I grab onto the ankle of the foot on the ground, I charge as much static energy into my right hand as I can muster, "PULSE!" I shout, throwing the energy forward, causing it to throw his leg backward causing him to fall forward onto his stomach, the force also launches me beneath him causing him to land on me. Not giving him any time to get up, I phase through his body onto his back. I look up at the clouds above me, seeing that the electricity I threw at them is causing them to become a thunderstorm.

Feeling out towards the lightning above me, I begin charging it up until I think it's powerful enough. Bringing the lightning down in a huge bolt, I yell at the top of my lungs, "KIRIN!", The lightning bolt lands dead center between his shoulders at the base of the neck, cutting through his spine, cutting off all his stirring movements.

Phasing back through his body I make my way towards his face. "Wh-Why can't I move!" He shouts, shaking his head to and fro, panicking.

"Shut up and die already." Charging the energy into my right hand, I phase my arm into his forehead. "Sango." I say, setting off an electrical explosion in his skull, finally destroying his brain, Killing him.

I begin shuffling away, making my way slowly to the edge of the field. Before I make it halfway through the field, a bright flash comes from my left. Looking over, I see Princess Celestia, Luna, and the Mane 6, all decked out in battle gear. Princess Celestia wearing a set of armor not unlike what her guards wear, holding a claymore. Princess Luna is wearing armor reminiscent of what Nightmare Moon wore, she's holding the same sword she had before. The Mane 6 are all wearing the armor of the royal guards, their respective Elements around their necks. Calling out to them I decide I've earned a bit of snark, "You guys missed the party, but I'm glad you came!"

As they turn their gaze to me I hear them gasp. Not really caring what they think, I begin to pass out. Hopefully, they get me to a hospital in time, I have an item I need to redeem. Finally closing my eyes, I hear Twilight call out to me, I don't hear what she says as I drift off.

Chapter 5: I couldn't come up with a name so I made a Fall Out Boy song instead

Chapter 5: The Phoenix

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

Scratching the Bandages on my chest, I listen as the Doctor drones on and on about how my physiology is completely and utterly impossible. Apparently, telling the Doctor about my ability to turn into lightning was a dumb idea. After about 10 hours of testing and experimenting, He couldn't find out how I do what I do. I don't want to tell them about the fact that I can carry buildings with one hand or the fact that I came from another universe, otherwise I'll be stuck here for an even longer amount of time.

It's been about a month now, and this extended stay at the hospital is finally over. Instead of letting me out early, the Princesses gave the Doctors orders to hold me here until my bones were fully healed. Now that I'm fully healed, I should be able to go home at any time, after hearing those words, I begin making my way home. Pulling out my phone, I look at the time. 4:20. (Blaze it boi, Now... How do I redeem my reward?) Opening up my text messages, I see that I have a new text.

"To all those who survived, Congratulations! You are one of the few who is still standing! Out of 200 Participants, only 4 remain. To you, the survivor who was strong enough to live, I give you an update! The item you'll receive is not but a call away. Just call the number below and say what you'd like to have and it'll be sent directly to you via a portal. Next year, we'll shoot for an even higher number of surviving participants! Love, Jack." (O-Out of 200 only 4 of us survived!? What the fuck is this sicko's deal!? That's 196 people dead at his hands and he's playing it off like it was nothing!)

Numbly, I open my front door and slam it closed as I fall back on it. I already know that I shouldn't get something that makes me more powerful, I should get something that makes me more skilled. Thinking about it, I decided that I should get Rob Lucci's Film Gold Outfit. Making my way back to my room, I dial the number and ask for the suit.

Immediately, a portal opens in front of me, dropping a white gift box at my feet. I figure, If it doesn't give me his skills, at least I'll have a kick-ass suit, and if it does give me his skills, I'll have Rokushiki at my disposal. With "Geppo" I'll be able to "fly", and if, for some reason, I can't use my other power or sword skills, I'll have a great way to fight back. It's a win-win scenario either way.

Taking out the suit, I put it on. Suddenly, knowledge of years and years of hard training and dedication make its way to the forefront of my mind. "Geppo" to "Rokuogan, I know the ins and outs of every technique available to the members of Cipher Pol 0. (I guess it worked. Cool! I've always wanted to know how to use Rokushiki!)

I take the suit off and set it back in the box. Setting the box in my closet, I walk back out into my living room in my underwear. Making my way into the kitchen, I open the fridge and pull out some juice and start drinking it out of the jug. Suddenly there's a knock at the front door. I reach out with my Haki, as I lazily make my way to the offending area. Looks like Spike wants to hang out.

Opening the door, I see Spike standing on my welcome mat, he looks nervous. Turning his gaze from me, he looks behind himself, where, in a pair of bushes, I can see Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are throwing thumbs up at him... What the fuck is going on, and why do I feel like I'm gonna regret not wearing clothes. "Sup, little dude?" I ask the nervous wreck of a teen.

"Iwaswonderingifyoucouldteachmehowtofight!" He quickly says.

"I didn't really catch that. Can you repeat that once more, just a little bit slower this time?"

Taking a deep breath in, he then exhales and asks, "Can you please teach me how to fight? I'm tired of not being able to help my friends. You can fight monsters by yourself, and Twilight and the girls always go off on adventures while I'm left at home. I want to be able to help them, and you. Please teach me how to fight, I'm begging you." As he finishes, he falls down on his knees, and prostrates himself before me, as if I was a king before a peasant or something.

"When do you want to start?" I ask, fully ready to teach the kid right then and there. I should probably think twice before teaching a small teen assassination techniques, but I'm kind of bored, seeing as how I missed most of the Season One episodes thanks to my hospital stay. This'll be interesting, to say the least.

"R-Really! You mean it! Let's get started right away!" He says, pulling me out of my house.

"Okay, Spike. First of all, calm the fuck down. I'm still in my undies if you didn't notice. And Secondly, I still have to decide on what to teach you. Come back here tomorrow and I'll have something ready for you. If that's all, I have to go ask Pinkie to tear up those pictures she's been taking of me for the past 10 minutes." I walk past the kid, over to the bush where camera flashes can be seen.

"I'll give you a percentage of the sales." I hear from Pinkie... Fine by me. I nod and make my way back to my house, where I go back to doing what I was planning on doing. Nothing.

Chapter 6: Dragon Slayers

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

Today is the day Spike begins his training, he was so excited he came early... Way too fucking early. "Spike, its 3 in the morning, what the fuck are you doing here," I say to the diminutive drake. He brought a backpack full of supplies and everything, he looks like a child who just came for his first day of school.

"Twilight told me you wanted me to come extra early, so you could go over the training regimen with me! Did I show up too late?" Oh, my fucking god. I used to like Twilight, but this just killed the relationship we could have had. No one should wake up this early. But now that I'm up, I won't be able to go back to sleep, I step aside to let Spike into my house. He charges in and sits down on the sofa. "What are we gonna do first! Are you gonna teach me how to shoot lightning like you? Oh, Oh, or maybe you're gonna teach me how to do a double backflip! Aw, that'd be so cool! Or maybe you-"

At this point, I grab his mouth, tired of his rambling. "First, we're gonna have breakfast. Then, I'm gonna think of a way to train you without outright killing you. After that, Everything else depends on if you still feel up to it. Do you understand?" I ask.

When I say the words, "Outright Killing you" his pupils become pin sized."W-What do you m-mean killing me?" He manages to stammer out.

"What do you mean by what do I mean. If you went through even the littlest bit of my training, you'd probably die of blood loss, exhaustion, blunt force trauma, getting crushed, getting cut in half, and that's just the beginning. You came to me for training, I'm gonna make sure you survive it... Maybe. Did you sign the waver?" I joke, trying to alleviate some of his stress.

Ok, now he just looks like he's gonna piss himself. "W-what waver?" And now I think he literally just pissed on my sofa. Smacking my face I ignore the question and make my way into the kitchen. I make the both of us breakfast as he asks questions about what I can do, and what I can teach him.

"I'm gonna teach you how to fight. The style I'm gonna teach you is called "Rokushiki": The Six Powers. The powers are "Kami-e", "Soru", "Geppo", "Rankyaku", "Tekkai", "Shigan". I'll be teaching these to you in that order. We'll start with "Kami-E": Paper Drawing. The technique will allow your body to become like paper in the wind, able to avoid any attack that comes their way. Follow me and we'll begin a demonstration." I say.

Pulling out my phone I see that it's about 8:30 in the morning. Before we make it to the door, Spike burps out some fire, and with it, a scroll comes out. "A letter from Princess Celestia! I wonder why she sent one so early in the morning?" Opening the scroll, he begins to read, his face becoming more and more concerned as he gets further into the letter. "Sorry Arthur, we'll have to do this tomorrow. There's a dragon sleeping in a cave, the Princess wants Twilight and the girls to get him to leave before the smoke he's spitting out causes any issues."

Smiling, I turn to the little drake, "I'll go with them, and you'll come with as well. This'll be the perfect time to show you how Rokushiki works in action!" And with that, we go and gather the girls, ready to set off on our journey.

(Timeskip)

"All right girls and boys, listen up. I'm mapping out the fastest route, but we've all got to keep a good pace if we expect to make it up the mountain by nightfall." Twilight says.

"M-m-mountain?" Fluttershy stammers. She looks terrified at the idea of climbing such a large mountain. Either that or the idea of fighting a Dragon.

"The dragon is in that cave at the very top." She declares as she points at the barely visible cave.

"Looks pretty cold up there." Applejack states.

"You bet it is. The higher you go, the chillier it gets." Rainbow Dash Informs.

"Good thing I brought my scarf." Rarity says. Looking over at her, I see that her outfit has stayed roughly the same, but she's wearing a scarf that's about the same color as her hair.

"Listen, are we just gonna stand here and blab on all day, or are we going to go fight a dragon?" I question, noticing that the conversation is going off track.

"Why are you and Spike coming with us anyway?" Rainbow Dash asks.

Smiling, I turn to Spike. "This is the first part of your training, we need to build up some muscle or you'll never be able to use Rokushiki. You're going to climb this mountain with us, but you're going to carry this backpack I brought with me. It has weights in it that will hold you down. Now don't be afraid, if you fall I'll catch you."

I take the backpack off and give it to Spike, He tries to lift it, but he can't even lift the straps. "What did you put in this thing!?" He shouts.

"Like I said, Weights. Now let's get going, we've got shit to do." Finally managing to put the backpack on and starts dragging himself behind me, as the girls look at us confused as to what's going on.

(Timeskip)

Coming up to a small gap in the side of the mountain, Twilight jumps over it. "Right this way everyone!" She shouts out. As everyone follows her example, I see Spike has started to fall behind. Walking over to him, I pull a water bottle out of the backpack and give it to him.

"Remember to stay hydrated, It wouldn't help you at all if you passed out now." He greedily takes the offered water bottle and begins to drain the thing. I let him drink the entire thing because I have a few more in the backpack.

"C-Can I please take this thing off now? My body feels like it's on fire!" I shake my head and he sighs. "Can I at least take a break?" Looking ahead, I see that Fluttershy is stuck at the gap, unable to jump across.

"Yeah sure, why not. Just take a couple of minutes, but when I say you're done, get right back to work. Shortly after I finish, he falls on his back, panting like a dog.

After a few minutes, Pinkie Pie sings something that helps Fluttershy gain the courage to jump across. Considering you could easily step across the gap, she begins to blush. "Alright Spike, let's get back to it."

Groaning he sits back up, and we meet back up with the girls. "Let's keep it down. According to my map, we're entering an avalanche zone. The smallest peep could cause a huge rock slide." Twilight whispers.

"An... an ava... ava..." Knowing what's coming next, I put my hand over Fluttershy's mouth.

"Shut up, or you'll get us all killed. Let's just keep going." She nods and we continue on our way.

(Timeskip once more)

Finally, we make it to the lip of the cave. Twilight is telling the girls some strategy to "negotiate" with the dragon. Walking up to Spike I say, "Alright, you've done well. To be honest, I didn't expect you to get this far with that thing, I was expecting you to drop that thing and leave it. Good work, from here on out you can take a break." I don't get a reply as he drops the backpack and lays on the ground, breathing heavily. "Hey, Twilight!" I call out to her.

She turns to me, "Yes Arthur?" she replies.

"I'm gonna go fight the dragon, you guys take a break." Spike sits up quickly, barely registering that I just ran head first into the cave. Twilight and the Girls yell at me, but I ignore them. "Hey, You big-ass overgrown salamander, Wake the Fuck up its past noon! Get your life together!"

Opening its eyes, they lock onto me with surgical precision, Turning towards Spike and the Girls, I begin my demonstration. "The first power of Rokushiki is "Kami-e," or Paper arts. The Dragon lifts it's left claw and swings at me. "Kami-e." I calmly say. My body becomes as thin as paper, and, much like a blade of grass, I begin moving in the wind of the attacks.

After a small amount of time, I continue. "The Next thing, I'm gonna show you is "Tekkai," Or Iron Body. You flex your muscles and tense them with such strength, that they become like Iron. Standing still, I say "Tekkai," and take the offending claw strike, causing all of them to gasp, as I'm thrown outside of the cave, with the dragon charging out after me.

"As you can see, nothing happened to me. The force behind the attack may have thrown me out of the cave, but now I can show you the next technique, "Geppo."" Jumping high into the air, I begin jumping higher and higher into the air, as the dragon follows by flying. ""Geppo" or Moonwalk, allows the users to actually jump off the air itself, allowing them to stay in the air for much longer than usual. The thing about the technique is that your legs need to be extremely strong in order to use it, otherwise you're muscles will literally tear themselves apart." I say as I dodge the dragon's attacks. "Now, we move onto my favorite skill, Soru."

I land on the ground and wait for the dragon to attack me. It lands on the ground in front of me and swings his tail at me. "Soru." I calmly say as I disappear and re-appear on his back. "Soru," allows the users to move at extremely high speeds in order to avoid attacks, as well as to attack at higher speeds and with greater power. Once again, your legs need to be tough. You have to be able to kick off the ground 10 times in the blink of an eye. It's my favorite skill, because I've always liked being able to dodge attacks." As I say this, I continue using "Soru" to dodge the dragons attacks.

"Now, we go into the fighting part, of the Rokushiki. The first of which is "Shigan", I don't think I'd be able to pierce the scales of the dragon with either of the techniques, so I'll show you those later. Let me take care of this menace first." I turn the dragon, "Kamisori." I say, disappearing and re-appearing above the dragons head. I swing my fist down on the dragons head, throwing it into the ground with such force, that its head leaves behind a crater.

"Now listen here shit head, I'm not gonna kill you if you do something for me. I want you to leave Equestria and never come back. Can you do that for me?" I ask the dragon. Slowly it nods and starts to fly off. "Well. Now that that's taken care of, I believe I owe you guys a couple of demonstrations." I turn back towards the group of people, and I see their jaws are on the ground. "I think I went a bit too far. Well, I'll just cover the other two techniques later. Bye!" I call out as I start walking back down the mountain.

The only one who manages to snap out of their shock is Spike. He picks the backpack back up and places it on his back. Excitedly, he asks, "That was awesome! Can you show me the other two techniques now!?"

"Hehe, Sure. The first one is called "Shigan," Meaning Finger-gun. "Shigan" is a close-quarter combat technique, in which the user pushes their finger into a certain target at a very high speed, leaving a wound similar to an arrow wound." To demonstrate, I use "Shigan," on a nearby rock, causing my pointer finger to go all the way into the rock.

"The Second technique is called "Rankyaku," or Storm leg. "Rankyaku" is a powerful projectile technique, in which the users start by kicking at very high speeds and strength, sending out a sharp compressed air blade that can slice objects or people in half." I lift my right leg and kick towards a nearby boulder. "Rankyaku!" I call out, causing a blade of wind to fly towards the large stone, cutting it in half.

"So, Any questions?" I ask, turning towards Spike. His mouth is literally on the ground. (Fucking cartoon physics man, how is that even possible?) I lift is jaw back off of the ground. "Let's just continue your muscle training, for now. okay?" I ask. Finally, he snaps out of it and starts walking next to me, with a renewed vigor in his step.

(Looks like this won't be too bad after all!) Spike thinks.

(Timeskip)

"Keep Running Short Stack!" I shout at Spike, as I continue to throw rocks at him. He's carrying weights while running back and forth. I'm throwing rocks at him to help him learn to dodge attacks, I thought of doing it the Piccolo way, but I don't think that'd work at this point in time... Maybe later though, for now we'll just keep doing baby steps.

Chapter 7: Dog and Pony Show

Chapter 7: Sound's kinky

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

Making my way towards the Badlands with Spike I begin to think about what's going on. I was chilling on my couch with a box of cereal laying on my chest when suddenly my front door was slammed open by none other than Spike. He was a stuttering mess, going on and on about Rarity and the Badlands.

Finally, after slapping the shit out of his head, he told me about how he and Rarity were in the Badlands getting some gems when suddenly they were ambushed by Diamond Dogs. He managed to fight off 5-6 of them when he was overpowered. When he was on the ground the D-Dogs took Rarity into one of their tunnels and disappeared. Instead of going after them immediately he figured if anyone could help it would be me. Now, the two of us are going to storm that den and take her back.

I turn to look at my student, He's grown over the last few months. He now stands just below my nose, so he's about 5'5". He's been able to learn a few of my moves, well only two of them but that's still impressive. So far he's learned "Kami-e" and "Geppo.", but he's still learning everything else.

We finally make it to where he last saw Rarity. I reach out with my Haki and feel a few Diamond Dogs beneath us, about to attack us from below. As they start to dig their way up, I jump into the air and keep myself up using "Geppo", Spike follows my example and we wait for them to come above ground. The Diamond Dog come up and look around confused, they must be looking for us. Not wanting to keep them waiting, I bring my heel down on the head of one of the guard, as Spike does the same to another two, who were standing right next to each other.

With all of the guard unconscious, we make our way underground. I reach out with my Haki and try to find Rarity. I find her and I see she's being held in a cage further in the tunnels. "You go left, that path will take you straight to her. I'll stay here and cover our exit." He nods and sprints down the path. I sit down and wait for a few minutes, following Spikes progress through the dog infested tunnel.

"What are you doing here, where is your handler slave?" I hear from my left. Looking up I see a large squad of diamond dogs, there have to be 20-30 of them. This should be easy. I stand up and put my hands in my pockets. I begin walking towards the group of Diamond Dogs, one of the guards tries to grab me, Instead, I kick him in the stomach using my right leg.

"This won't take long," As I finish, the group charges me, intent on killing me. I continue my walk, undisturbed by their loud battle cries. "Tekkai" I calmly say as the first reaches me, he swings his great hammer at me, and I meet it with my fist, causing it to shatter into tiny pieces. "I'll give you one full minute, I won't even fight back. If you don't scratch me by then, I'll end all of you." I say as the group looks at the now broken hammer in shock. Some of them run, I guess they're the smart ones. The ones who stay, however, charge me.

I don't know how many there are, Lets count shall we. "One." I calmly say as he swings his sword at me, I step to the right and bypass his downwards swing. "Two." He stabs at me with his spear, I lean back and avoid his attack easily. "Three." I fall on my back and roll out of the way of his kick. "Four." I stand up, narrowly avoiding the battle-ax that's now embedded in the ground where my head was. "Ah," I slap my forehead, "It seems that during my little game, I've lost track of time. "Shigan." I say as I thrust my finger into the heart of the nearest Diamond Dog. "Soru." After I say that it took less than a second to kill all of them.

After a few more minute of waiting around, I decide to walk down the tunnel where I last saw Spike. Wiping the blood on my hands onto my pants, I finally catch up, where I can see Spike has defeated all of the Diamond Dogs and is now testing keys on the cage door where I can now see a slightly scuffed Rarity."Yo, need any help?" I ask. Just as I finish my sentence I hear a click come from the door. The Diamond dog Alpha is currently embedded into the roof, with only his legs visible. God damn, I knew he was getting better but that's just ridiculous...

He swings the door open and Rarity jumps into his arms, giving him a hug."Thank you, it appears my little Spikey-wikey isn't so little anymore! My hero!" She cries out as she kisses his cheek.

He blushes up a storm and starts to stammer, "I-it was n-nothing my lady." he says.

"Can we fucking go already? I don't want to be here if you guys are gonna fuck, I'm not that kind of guy." I monotonously say. This causes the both of them to blush and look down at their hug, noticing that they've somehow gotten closer. They break the hug and start following me as I go back towards the hole we came down.

"So Arthur, did anything interesting ha-." He's interrupted by the piles of dead Diamond Dog bodies surrounding the ground below the hole.

I pick Rarity up and use "Geppo" to get back outside. "Does that answer your question?" I say as he finally follows after us.

"D-did you kill those guys back there!?" He all but screams at me.

Rubbing my ears, I smartly reply with, "Yeah, what did you expect me to do they were trying to kill me. I gave them the option to run, a few of them did, and the ones who stayed, well you saw what happened to them."

I set Rarity on the ground and start walking away. Spike looks slightly mollified at my answer and the two of them follow close behind. I ignore most of the conversation, as it was mainly flirting between the two, and we walk in silence once they both stop.

(Timeskip)

Finally, we make it to Rarity's boutique where I turn and leave, ready to go back to my lazy day of cereal eating and weightlifting. (I think I just helped Spike get laid... If he does get some tail, I expect him to say thanks. I ain't that fucking altruistic that I'll do something like that without getting something... I'll just bother Rarity and Spike for something later, Right now I have some Crunch Berries that have my name on them.)

Chapter 8: Our New Roommate

Chapter 8:

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

"So, Let me get this straight. You want to make the world chaotic for 1000 years right" I ask

"Yes, what is so hard to understand about that?" Discord answers after he takes a sip of his tea, I mimic his action and take a sip of my Orange Tea. His hair is as white on top and black on the sides, he has a soul patch that kind of looks like he forgot how to lick the inside of an oreo. His clothing consists of a brown bomber jacket with white fur on the inside, a black t-shirt, a pair of blue jeans with holes in the knees and a pair of black shoes.

"Wouldn't that, in turn, make you the god of order and harmony? because after 1000 years, hell, after the first 100, the people who lived in harmony would get used to the chaos and make that their social norm, which would make chaos the new order, which would change you from the god of chaos into the god of harmony. So, that would, in turn, make all that you've done worthless because without chaos there is no harmony and without harmony, there is no chaos. Hell, that's why I'm not fighting you, I know that you're needed in this world just as much as anything else. That and you're pretty much the coolest dude I've met in a long time." I intelligently point out as I take another sip of my tea, now turned into Earl Grey.

His face then faults and he takes a thinking pose, more specifically he turns himself into The Thinker statue. After a little while, he looks at me while stunned, "Y-You're right! If I did that, I'd end up a jaded old bag just like Celestia! What a world, What a world! Tell me, what do you think I should do, Doc!" He says as he snaps his fingers and lies back on a therapists bed.

"I think you should turn the world back to normal and give it chaos in small dosages, like hey, a few days out of the year will be chaotic as shit, while the rest of the year you can chill and take some time to get readjusted. I mean seriously, you've been in stone for how long?" I ask

"7000 years and I don't think Celestia would agree to something like that, I mean seriously she turned into such a heartless woman since the last time I saw her. What's the deal with that anyway?" He inquires.

I take another sip of my tea at the same time that he does,"Green Tea," We both say as we drink.

"One point for me, Two points you," I say, we turned how many times we got Green Tea into a small game, each time we scored a point, we got to place a domino on the table in front of us, which is made out of chocolate by the way. "I think it may be the fact that she sent her sister to the moon for like 1000 years or some shit. It may also be the fact that she's ageless and can't fall in love with someone who can die easily, so, you know. But I think I can convince her to let you chill at my place for a bit, she owes me for helping them," I say as I point out the now un-discorded Elements of Harmony.

"Arthur! What are you doing! He's evil, have you seen what he's done to Equestria!?" I hear Rainbow Dash yell. I take a look at the flying fish nearby and the deer sized rabbits and shrug.

"This shit is normal where I come from. Hell, with all the war, death, famine, disease, and general bullshit, this would be a good day." I say as I take another sip. "Green Tea, B-T-Dubs." Discord clicks his tongue as I place another domino down on the board.

"Are you insane!? He made us all go against each other!?" Twilight yells. If I didn't have a crush on her, I would have totally called her out and tell her that the only reason that shit truly happened was that they didn't completely trust each other. But I do. So I won't.

"And aren't you always going on and on about how Friendship is important? I don't think he's evil, I think he needs a friend. I'm willing to put any and all of my differences aside to be his friend. Wouldn't you want the same if you were in his shoes?" I say. Discord looks at her and gives her his best Puppy dog eyes, which was literally to turn his face into puppy's face.

She tries to say something against that and just stammers a bit before sighing and nodding. "If you're willing to stay here in Ponyville with me, and willing to let the Princesses put an Enchantment on the Elements of Harmony to make sure you won't touch them, I'll let you stay at my house for as long as you want, hell I'll even hang out with you for as long as you want, within reason of course. I'm not about to stay in my house all day." I say as I stick my hand out to him. "Savvy?"

He seems to think about it for a little while. "Oh, What the heck, why not? I'd rather have someone as powerful as you on my side anyway, I can feel your power practically radiating off of you." He says as he shakes my hand. He snaps his fingers and both of the Princesses appear beside us. I take another sip of my tea, this time a mint tea, and let him explain whats going on. "Celly, Lulu! It's so great to see the both of you again! It's been so long since we've last seen each other! How've you been?" He asks as he reclines further into the therapist's bed.

"What is your game Discord? Why have you brought us here, and why is Arthur with you?" Celestia calmly inquires. I can see that she's about to attack him, so I stand up and get between the two of them.

"I would like it if you didn't attack my new roommate. He's agreed to let you guys enchant the Element's to make sure he can't touch them, as long as you let him live here in Ponyville with me so he can learn the; and I fucking hate the fact that I'm going to use these words in a sentence; "Magic of Friendship". God, just saying that gives me indigestion." I say as I pound my fist on my chest twice before letting out a burp.

The two sisters look stunned and then their faces turn into distrust. "What is your game Arthur, I thought you said you wouldn't harm my subjects?" Celestia threateningly asks as her hand glows with power. Luna's hand glows with some prepared spell.

I take a calm sip of my tea, "Green tea, 3-2. The both of you should know by now that if I wanted to I could level this entire continent and leave right? Has anything he's done so far actually hurt anyone? So far, I see a kids dream going on, Cotton Candy clouds, Chocolate milk rain, flying fish, Marshmallow Mountains, and a whole bunch of other shit. It's like you think he's going to haul off and murder everyone. I don't think he'll do it, do you?" I ask as I stand up from my chair and look at the two tall women.

The two women think about it and they both come to a conclusion, "He'll be your responsibility, you do know this right?" Celestia asks.

"Sister are you sure you wish to do this, dost thou remember what happened last time?" Luna asks.

"Yes, and it was exactly like this last time as well. If we had handled this rationally maybe we could have avoided such trivial issues such as this. I must ask though, why would you let him into your home?" Celestia inquires.

I turn to Discord and shrug. "I don't really know or care. Maybe it's because I know what it's like to be the only one of my kind in a world full of strangers, maybe it's the fact that he knows where I came from." I take another sip of my tea, "4-2, Step up your game Disc-Jockey, I'm gonna win." I say as I place another domino on the table.

He grimaces and snaps his finger, causing the world around us to turn back to normal. The chair I was sitting on turns into a normal tree stump, while the table in front of us turns into a bush, causing the dominos to fall into it. "You win. I'll give up and be your roommate. I've been quite bored for the past few thousand years, and this is the only way I'll be able to come out of this situation on top. Between the Princesses, the Elements, and yourself I can't really fight against you. You Displaced characters certainly make things more interesting, at least when you're on the good side. Those evil Displaced characters are genuine; pardon my french for the moment; Têtes de Merde." He says.

"So, shall we go find a place to put my stuff?" he asks as he snaps causing furniture to show up next to him.

I motion for him to follow me. "I'm just gonna buy another house, one with multiple rooms this time. I'll probably just rent the one I have now out to someone so I can make money off of it." I say as I see him kick his sofa into a suitcase and he picks it up and follows me.

Catching up with me he asks, "Why did you go so far for me? You know the future just like I do, I need to betray them to help imprison Tirek, so I have to ask. Why did you do this?"

"So you can have a life outside of the stone, even if it's for a little while. Besides, I should be able to outright beat the guy. He's nowhere near as strong as half of the villains from One Piece. Do you know what One Piece is?" I ask. He shakes his head no and I almost trip. "You don't know what One Piece is, but you can see through the fourth wall!? Bitch, when we get our own place just make us a TV that will show my memories, I'll make a weeb out of you in no time." I say as I throw my arm over his shoulders. We walk towards City Hall, ready to start our new lives as roommates.

(Timeskip)

"YOHOHOHO~ YO HO HO HOOOOO!" We both sing as Brook plays Binks' Sake. I officially love having Discord as a friend, being able to relive my old life is kind of awesome.

Author's Note

Sorry for not uploading any chapters, I've been busy with work and shit. I hope this crappy chapter makes up for some of the wait.

Chapter 9: Luna Eclipsed

Chapter 9: Omakes

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

All Hallows Eve is in full swing, the children are running around in their costumes, Discord is out playing pranks and I'm doing my favorite past time on this great holiday. Turning off all the lights, and waiting for tomorrow when all of the sweets are on sale. I'm currently trying to waste time and right now I'm in front of my T.V. playing Equestria's equivalent to Skyrim. I never got to play it back home but so far it's quite fun and in the background, I'm playing some music to drown out all of the happy shouts and screams of the people outside.

Discord tried to get me to leave the house in the subtlest way he could think of. Teleporting me to Rarity's place with a sign on my chest that said: "Make me a Costume!" and when she saw me in her house she first hit me with a broom thinking I was a burglar and then soon after apologizing she asked me what I would like to have made. I told her about Discord and how he wanted me to go Trick or Treating with Pinkie and him and she thought it was adorable how close we've gotten over the past few months.

Ignoring the weird look in her eyes, I told her that I'd like a Red Longcoat with a black t-shirt, matching black pants and a pair of white gloves with a very special alchemical symbol sewn into them. Yep, I'm currently dressed as the Full Metal Alchemist: Edward Elric, I figure I already have the long blonde hair so I might as well just go the lazy route and cosplay as a character that no one knew about, that way I can still wear the costume in public without people looking at me lopsidedly. I get some kick-ass clothing and Discord gets me in a costume, it's a win-win situation.

Suddenly there is a loud knock at my front door that tears me away from my television screen. I was expecting some visitors so I did buy some candy, I'm just trying to make what little I bought last so I can eat it myself later tomorrow.I pick up the candy bowl from the coffee table and make my way to the front door. Opening the front door I am immediately assaulted by people screaming "Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!"

I look down and see an adorable little pirate, he's the son of a neighbor of mine that just moved here from Trottingham. "Hey, Pip. What's a strong buccaneer such as yourself doing here? Are you here to steal my hard earned bits or are you here for this?" I ask as I slightly jangle the candy in my bowl.

"Hi, Mr.Mayhew! My mom finally agreed to let me go out on Nightmare Night! She said that if I can get an adult to come with me, she'll let me go to the fair too! I was wondering if you could take me? Pleeeeease, I've never done this before!" He actually gets down on his knees and begs... Fuck, I have to do it now.

Sighing, I reach over and dump my bowl of candy into his bag. "Let me lock the front door and we'll get going. Just stay close to me alright?"

He nods and hugs my leg, "Thank you, Mr.Mayhew! I swear I'll be on my best behavior!" He says as he salutes to me using his plastic sword. I swear if this kid gets any more adorable I'll die or something. Laughing I reach down and jostle his hair, causing him to move his head away from my hand. He readjusts his bandana and takes my hand, pulling me further into town.

(Timeskip)

Reaching into Pip's bag I check another apple to see if I can find any razor blades, once again I find no indication of any. "Mr.Mayhew, why do you keep checking the stuff I get?" Pip asks. Back home my neighbor's kid got a heroin needle in one of his chocolates and had to be put in a hospital for a while so that they could check the kid for any diseases and any other complications that may have arisen. The poor kid stayed there for 4 months before they gave him the ok to go home. That was only one of the times it happened too, that's the main reason I don't go out on Halloween, also the fact that it's way cheaper just to buy the candy by itself than to purchase a costume and waste a few hours.

"Just making sure it's safe." I put the apple back into his bag and stand up. For the past 20 minutes, we've been sitting here while I meticulously searched everything. As expected, it all checked out, I guess I just didn't want the kid to end up getting hurt or something. Either that or I was wasting time so I didn't have to go to the town fair currently going on... Yeah, I should probably head that way soon, I think Luna is about to show up.

I hand the bag back to Pip and gesture for him to follow, "We should get going before the fair closes, can't have your first Nightmare Night without a couple of games." I say.

He nods and runs up grabbing on to the back of my long coat. "Can we play one of those strength games, if they have one at least? I've been working really hard in my P.E. class at school. I'm sure I'll be able to hit the bell if I put my back into it. All pirates have to be strong, and as you've said: "Pirates are some of the strongest people in the world, they have to be in order to survive." I'm one of the strongest pirates there ever was!" He takes a heroic pose and points his sword at me.

"If we find one we'll both play it, that way we have double the chances to win. First things first, we have to find something to eat. I don't think either of us has had dinner yet." I ruffle his hair again and we make our way into the town fair. I see multiple stands, Caramel Apples sold by Big Mac dressed as a Scarecrow. I guess he didn't have to pull that cart like in the show after all. Sweets, and Treats sold by Mr. and Mrs. Cake dressed surprisingly as Mr. and Mrs.Addams, and finally, a few food stands run by some guy I don't know who is dressed as a Knight.

I walk up to the stand and order a few things while Pip makes up his mind, he sticks out his tongue and rubs his chin as he makes up his mind. "What do you think a pirate like me would eat Mr.Mayhew?" He finally asks after a minute or two.

"Meat, definitely meat. Pirates need a lot of protein in their diets in order to keep their big strong muscles." I say as I flex my right arm into a strong man pose while also bringing the shishkebab that has a ton of meat skewered on it to my mouth to take a bite out of it. "How do you think I got to be so strong?" I take a bite and relax back into a normal pose while holding my plate of food in my left hand.

"Wow, you sure do know a lot about pirates Mr.Mayhew, did you happen to know any?" he says as he finally picks out what he wants, I pay for it and we both go and sit down at a nearby table.

"Know any? Hell, I was one a few years ago." Technically not a lie seeing as how I have Zoro's memories. I can remember Kuina, his training, Luffy and the crew, and even the battle between him and Pica. I even remember all of the boring parts of One Piece like the sailing and sleeping.

Pips eyes widen and his jaw drops. "You were a pirate!? Tell me all about your adventures! Please Mr.Mayhew, I really have to know!" He shouts, drawing the attention of nearby people. In the distance, I hear a loud gasp and as I turn around I'm tackled by a barrage of white and pink.

"You were a pirate!? Please, please, please, please tell us about your adventures!" I hear a familiar voice coming from on top of me.

Taking a moment to readjust my self, I look at the food scattered on the ground in behind me. Pushing her off, I stand up and pick my food back up and put it on my plate after brushing it off, better not waste any, I paid good money for this. "Pinkie, what have I told you about tackling me?" I ask as I turn to the woman clad in a chicken costume.

"Not to do it unless it was an emergency. But this is an emergency Arty! I wanna know about your adventures!" she says as she stomps her left foot and pouts.

"Pinkie, why did you run off like that? Oh, Hi Arthur, what are you doing out here? Discord told us you didn't really celebrate Nightmare Night, so I thought you were going to stay inside tonight." I hear from Twilight as she approaches, around her there are a couple of kids all dressed in different costumes. Discord is following closely behind them lugging a large bag the size of a small boulder on his back.

"Arthur, It's so good to see you! I see you went as a world famous alchemist, it looks good on you. The only thing you're missing is the arm and leg! Well actually the only thing you have is the arm and leg, but that's beside the point, It's still good that you got out of that stuffy old house." Discord says as he walks up to me and pats my shoulder. He's currently dressed as Gintoki from Gintama. Yep, I officially corrupted the God of Chaos into being a weeaboo just like me.

"You say that like I only ever spend time in my house, I'm not like some people," I say as I glare at him.

"Hey, I've been spending time with Fluttershy almost every day. The only thing I've ever seen you do is train in the backyard." He says as he glares back. I think about it for a little bit and see that he's right, I nod and sigh. "Point, Discord. That makes it 1-0 my friend."

"I'm paying for your food while you freeload at my house, also you could be in stone right now." I jab back at him. He physically recoils at my reply. He snaps and a whiteboard comes out that reads: "1-0" he erases the zero and writes a one before snapping it out of existence.

"So... What were you saying about being a pirate, Arty?" Pinkie asks.

That draws the attention of all of the kids in the group as well as Twilight. "You were a pirate?" She asks, at my nod she takes a thinking pose and after a bit, she finally says, "Wouldn't that make you a criminal? If you really were a pirate how high was your bounty?"

I think back on it and tap into how Zoro would reply to a question like this. "320,000,000 Bits." I state with a feral grin stretching across my face, I let out a tiny bit of killing intent causing those nearby to shudder in fear.

"H-How in Celestia's name did you get a bounty like that!? The highest bounty currently is about 1,200 Bits! You have to be lying!" She all but screams at me.

I deadpan and in the blink of an eye I grab the Boken from Discord's waist and point it at her throat. "I'm many things, but I never lie. If you want to hear the story and see what I can do, follow me. If not, then go away." I say as I walk away, placing the Boken on my shoulders. I hear Pip start to run behind me trying to catch up and soon everyone is following me out to a nearby field. Discord stays behind shouting that he'll stay here and keep my food company.

(Timeskip)

Finally stopping I look around and see a ton of large rocks, boulders, trees, and other debris that I can use to showcase my sword skills. "Twilight, do you have any spells that can show my memories? If you do can you use it on me?" I ask as I take a seat on a nearby rock.

"Yeah, but I don't know why you brought us all out here. I guess I can cast the spell on you, it doesn't take much." She states as she takes out her wand and goes through some motions before a bright lilac glow overtakes me. I sift through the memories and alter a few things, so Zoro looks and sounds like me while also changing his name to be mine."Ready to go?"

"Yep, what should I do?" She instructs me to just think about what I want to see and then visualize it. I show them the Beginning of One Piece when Luffy saves Zoro/Me. They were appalled by the corruption of Captain Morgan and his son but Pinkie and the kids laughed at the way Luffy recruited me onto his crew. Over the next few hours, I showed them things from Buggy to Kuro until we finally made it to the fight between Mihawk and Zoro.

When we got there I asked if anyone was squeamish before continuing, when no one nodded I continued, showing them the fight between Mihawk and how badly Zoro/I lost. I take off my shirt and long coat to show them the scar that lies on my body. A few of them cried when they saw the tears as Zoro made his declaration to Luffy and Mihawk.

After a little while, I continued and showed them Arlong. Most of them cried when we heard about what happened with Nami. Then they cheered as we busted down the door to Arlong Park and then they laughed when Luffy launched us halfway across the park and cheered when we watched Arlong Park fall.

At Logue Town, they were on the edge of their seat as we threw the sword in the air and cheered when in missed our arm, and cried when they saw Luffy on the execution platform. Once they saw he was alive they cheered once more as we all ran from the Marines. They practically cried laughing when Luffy used "Gomu Gomu no Rocket" to get us to the ship

They all were on the edge of their seats when we went up Reverse Mountain, cheering with us as we finally reached the top. They screamed in fear as we met Laboon but soon cried when we heard about his story. As we went through the Grand Line they went from fear to wonderment at the many things we saw and experienced.

Finally we went to Whiskey Peak and they marveled at how I fought through the large group of bounty hunters, Pip had a couple of things to say such as, "How did you do that!?" or "Wow Mr.Mayhew, you're so cool" to which I replied with "You haven't seen anything yet."

When Nami got sick they all screamed at me hoping she was alright, Pinkie was biting her fingernails off as we all sailed to Drum Island. They waited with bated breath as we rode the trolley up to Kureha's Castle. The girls all squee'd and went on and on about how cute Chopper while the Boys went on and on about how cool he was when we found out about his abilities. The after party I hid from them because they don't need to see a 15-year-old Doctor drinking.

They cried when we heard about what happened to Robin and Cheered as we fought Kaku and then went ballistic crying when we gave Merry her send off. When we got to the part where Zoro/I took Luffy's pain they all cried as I showed them all of the pain and torment I went through for my/his captain, Twilight actually came up and hugged me when I showed them, I guess at some point I must have started crying because I didn't even notice the tears.

They all cried and screamed as the crew was separated and dried themselves out when they heard about Ace's Execution, then cheered us on as we fought against the Baboons in order to get the training from Mihawk. I skipped the two-year training and went right to where I split the ship in half, Pip, Pinkie, the CMC, and every one of the kids thought it was cool while Twilight chided me like I was a small child.

When we fought the Dragon their eyes practically popped out of their skulls and then when we finally reached Dressrosa they all laughed at the fact that we wore fake mustaches. Once more their eyes popped out of their skull as we cut Pica in half and fought. As the memories came to an end I decided to give them a little show, I showed a slightly altered memory of Bartholemew Kuma and then me getting "displaced" to have it seem like Kuma sent me into another universe. I then showed my memories of a mundane life and moving from one place to another, as if I had been stuck in Equestria for a few years. "And that's where my story ends, I didn't achieve my dreams and I didn't get to see if Luffy became the Pirate King."

I look up at the sky and see that it's about time for Luna to show up. I stand up and walk away, leaving the group with their own thoughts. Pip runs up and hugs my leg, causing me to stumble. "What's wrong?" I ask and he sniffles a bit then I see that he's been crying.

"I'm sorry for doubting you Arthur, I didn't expect-" Twilight starts as I cut her off mid-sentence.

"You didn't know... It's been a long time and I'm over it now. In this world, I've achieved my dream and I know for a fact that Luffy and the crew achieved theirs, the only issue I have is that I wasn't there to see all of them off. Now, I think we have a few hours before curfew, why don't we go get some more candy?" I ask.

They all nod and as we walk off I see Twilight stumble and almost fall, I catch her and carry her on my back. "S-sorry, I guess that took a bit more out of me than I expected. I should be okay to walk, you don't have to carry me." She says.

I turn my head to her and smile as I reply, "I know, but I want to. I want to make sure you're okay first before I let you go." She blushes at this and the crowd of kids and Pinkie all giggle.

"Arty and Twi, Sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, Second comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage!" Pinkie and a few of the kids sing. Twilight blushes as I laugh it off. I turn my head and lean back a little, then kiss Twilight on her cheek. Her face becomes a bright crimson red as she uses my neck to hide her face.

"Tomorrow, would you like to go on a date with me?" I ask. Pinkie gasps and smiles widely and then proceeds to zoom off somewhere, presumably to tell her other friends. I feel Twilight nod slightly and she wraps her arms around my neck as she gets comfortable on my back. Tomorrow will be even better than today, I'm sure of it.

Chapter 10: Meeting The Sparkles

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

I keep my calculating gaze locked on Spikes form as he continues dodging attacks with ease. Spotting a flaw in his "Soru" technique I quickly shout out, "It's 10 steps, not 9! Speed yourself up or you'll die!" I turn my gaze from him to the Hydra he's currently fighting. I think we're making some progress, seeing as how he's mastered "Geppo" and "Kami-E" but he is making quite a bit of progress with "Rankyaku" and "Soru". We haven't started learning "Tekkai" and "Shigan" yet but if he manages to survive fighting this thing for more than a few minutes then we'll start his training in the other two forms. "Try actually attacking the damn thing! I could have killed this thing without trying by now!"

He dodges another head and turns to me before flipping me off. "Kiss my ass!" I'm so fucking proud of this kid right now. "Soru!" He screams as he charges up the extended neck of the Hydra. Finally reaching the base of the necks he begins spinning on the ball of his right foot and lifting his left foot to his knee then extending his tail. Leaning in closer, I lay both of my elbows on my knees and watch closely. "Rankyaku: Pirouette! A small, thin, barely noticeable "Rankyaku" forms at the tip of his tail and creates an extending circle around him.

It flies outward and manages to cut through the thick hide of the Hydra's neck. As it makes it's way into the flesh, it fades away and stops a few inches into the skin. I was grinning ferally, proud of my student but now I just feel depressed. He had a good idea it's just that he didn't have the power to follow through with it. I pull out my phone and look at the time, 4:33. I should probably leave soon, otherwise, I'll be late for dinner with Twilight and her Parents. I look up at Spike and see him jump high into the air only to be smacked toward me by one of the Hydra's heads.

Skidding up to me, he looks up to me as he breathes heavily. "Want some help?" I ask. He nods and shakily stands up. "Watch closely, okay? I'll be showing you what you've been doing wrong when you use "Rankyaku"." Spreading my legs apart I lightly pat my right leg. "You've been relaxing your legs when you use it. You need to keep tension in your muscles when you throw your leg forward." I turn to one of the Hydras heads and see that it's charging toward us. "Here, I'll show you the difference between a loose one and a tense one." We both use "Soru" to avoid the head and we start using "Geppo" to keep ourselves in the air.

"Rankyaku" I loosely throw my left leg forward and watch as the wobbly and unstable air-blade barely reaches and dissipates against the neck of the Hydra. "See? That's what you're doing wrong. Now, watch what a tense one can do." We both fall to the ground and stand aside as the Hydra begins charging us once more. "Rankyaku I quickly lift my leg and watch as the blade of air cuts through the Hydra with ease, splitting it in half. Both pieces of the Hydra fall apart and land on the ground in front of us. "We'll try it again tomorrow. Right now, we have to get going. Otherwise, Twilight will kick our asses for being late."

I turn and begin walking away, after a few feet I notice that Spike isn't following behind me. I turn and look at him as he looks down at his feet. I march up to him and place my hand on his shoulder. "You alright?" I ask. He slowly turns his gaze from his feet to my face and then back to his feet.

"I'm just a little tired. I've been wracking my brain trying to find a way to get Rarity to like me and none of them are working." Ah, girl troubles. I've only had one other girlfriend beside Twilight and she was a heartless shrew that used me for my money. I really don't have any advice for him but I can probably pull something from my ass that sounds good enough.

"Spike, love doesn't happen immediately. Love takes time and love takes work. At the very least you have to know the other person. What's Rarity's favorite color?" I ask. He looks at me and shrugs. "What's her favorite food?" Once more he shrugs. "You say you love her but you don't know the first thing about her. I've been spending time with Twilight for the past 8 months since we've started dating and I've learned a lot about her. Her favorite color is Fuschia, Her favorite food is a Vegetarian Tofu salad with light french dressing, her favorite activity for the two of us is cuddling while reading a book together. Take some time to learn more about her, she'd probably appreciate it." Thank you, Garnet.

He looks up and me and starts thinking about what I said. He begins nodding and finally says, "Yeah! That's what I'll do! Thanks for the advice, Arthur!" I nod and wrap my arm around his shoulder.

"Anytime. Now let's get going. I'll race you there." I use "Soru" to charge ahead of him and I begin sprinting toward the Train Station.

"Hey, you cheated!" He takes off after me and we begin using "Soru" and "Geppo" to try and out race each other.

(Timeskip)

"I can't believe you two! How could you guys make us be so late! My parents are going to kill me!" Twilight shouts at Spike and me. We're sitting on the train and are finally making our way into Canterlot. Twilight has been going on and on for the past hour as we made our way up the mountain but Spike and I have been having a separate conversation with ourselves as we sit next to each other.

Spike claps his hands together slightly then points both of them at me and asks, "So, if you had your head placed onto another body and you jerked off. Would it be gay?" Oh shit, he's asking the real questions now.

I rub my chin and lean on my armrest a bit. "Hmmm. I-" I think for a bit. "I think it'd have to be, wouldn't it?" We both start chuckling and I continue, "I guess it would have to be gay. Okay, here's a question. Let's say there's a woman that you find incredibly irresistible. One day, the two of you get your heads cut off and you have your head placed on her body. Is it technically necrophilia and/or narcissistic if you masturbated to your new body?"

He rubs his chin in thought and before he can answer we both get slapped across the head. "Will you two be serious for one moment please!?" Twilight shouts. We both weakly apologize as we rub the sides of our heads. "Good. Now to make sure you don't say anything too weird, I have come up with a script for you."

In the background, you can slightly hear me say, "I don't say weird shit, I just speak my mind." She quickly glares at me and I shut my mouth until she's finished speaking.

Twilight clears her throat and continues, "These papers have responses to every question I could think of that I know they will ask." She hands me a 10-sheet thick script that has multiple question answers. Quickly reading through it I start laughing out loud at some of these responses.

"Hehe, Spike look at this one. "Are you having sex with my daughter?" and the reply is "We always use protection." I start laughing as Twilights face becomes a crimson red. We've been dating for 8 months now and yes, we've already had sex. Hell, she was the one to initiate it too. She brought me over to her house one day and started modeling lingerie she got from Rarity and soon after, one thing led to another and after an hour and a half, we were both lying on her bed covered in sweat and cuddling. It made it very awkward when Spike walked in an saw us like that though.

"Will you take this seriously!?" She shouts. I look at her and see that she's slowly becoming a nervous wreck. I quickly stand up and switch seats so I can sit next to her.

I wrap my arms around her and lightly kiss her cheek. "Calm down, Twi. Everything will be alright, I promise. Who knows, maybe your parents will like me right off the bat. I'll start reading your script and I'll memorize some of the answers. Would you like that?" She wipes her eyes and nods a little. I lift her from her seat and place her on my lap. "Want to cuddle until we get there?" I cheekily ask, already knowing the answer. Spike rolls his eyes but smiles slightly, used to our antics. Twilight giggles a bit and then nods, for the rest of the trip the two of us just sit there and cuddle until the train stops.

"Welcome to Canterlot, Arthur. This is your first time here, correct?" Twilight asks as we exit the station. I turn to Spike as he opens his mouth to say something and I slowly shake my head, he takes the hint and shuts his mouth. "Well, we'll be here for a few days while I catch up with my parents and Celestia. We'll be staying with my parents for the time being." Wait, what!?

"What do you mean we'll be staying with your parents!? I thought we were only coming up here for dinner!?" I exclaim. She looks at me, confused.

"Didn't you read the script?" I shake my head and she sighs and lightly facepalms. "We're staying with my parents so I can catch up with the Princess and my family. I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Okay, but why didn't you tell me that earlier!? I didn't bring any clothing I can wear! "Don't worry about your clothing and your toiletries, I had Discord show me where your room is and he helped me pack some things for you." Discord when I get back I'm gonna throttle your honky ass.

I sigh and take Twilight's bag from her. "Lead the way." She smiles and we all follow her to their families house. As we walk, Spike and I continue talking about weird shit and surprisingly, sometimes Twilight even chimes in. After about half an hour we finally reach a large two-story house. On the mailbox, it reads "The Sparkle Residence". I guess this is the place. Twilight walks up to the door and knocks but Spike just opens the door and walks in. I guess we're coming in now. Following his example, the two of us walk in and find ourselves in a living room.

"Coming!" We hear from the kitchen. I look down at my clothing and suddenly get self-conscious. I'm wearing a tight white t-shirt that shows my muscles off a little too much, my red and yellow star hoodie is tied around my waist, a pair of blue jeans, and a pair of black and white trainers. I really should have worn my dress shirt today.

After waiting for a while a woman comes from the kitchen and she quickly notices Twilight and Spike. "Twily! Spikey! Oh, it's so good to see you again!" She jogs over to the two of them and wraps them in a hug. They both look like they're choking to death, I should probably stop her but I'm enjoying this too much. She lets them out of the hug and then turns to Spike, pulling him into a one on one hug. "Oh my gosh! You've grown so much since I've seen you last!"

This goes on and on for a little while longer until I unfocus from the conversation and fall into the deep empty pit that is my mind. (~It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake! You know it can be crazy! It's a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake! You know you can't be lazy! Break it down bitch lemme see you back it up, bring that ass down low then bring that motherfucker up!~) "Arthur?" What? I focus back up and see Twilight, Spike, and their mom all looking at me concerned. "Are you alright? You spaced out there for a little while." Twilight asks.

Oh fuck. How do I save this? "Yeah, I'm fine. You haven't introduced me to your mother yet." Nice thinking brain! I stick my hand out to the woman and shake her hand. "I'm Arthur Mayhew, it's a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am."

She chuckles slightly and returns the handshake. "It's so nice to finally meet you, Arthur. Twilight's told us a lot about you!"

"Only kind things I hope." I smile. Jesus Christ, I hope she actually said good things about me. I'm already an embarrassing mess, I don't need any help doing that myself.

"Oh, she's said a few things that might be a tad bit embarrassing but mostly good things. Your father will be home soon with your brother and his girlfriend. Oh, maybe you four can have a double date! Wouldn't that be grand!" Twilight's mother places her hands together and smiles.

Twilight, on the other hand, looks confused. "Wait, Shiny has a girlfriend? When did this happen?" Twilight questions.

"Shining didn't tell you? He's started dating your old babysitter Cadence! I knew those two would get together at some point."

"WHAT!?" Twilight shouts. It's like a flashbang went off in the room, everyone is holding their ears and flinching at the volume of the scream. Jesus Christ, the last time I heard Twilight scream that loudly the guard showed up and busted down the door to my bedroom.

I quickly grab Twilight's shoulders and start rubbing them. Instead of getting incredibly angry and arguing, she starts moaning under her breath. Whenever she gets worked up like this there are two ways to stop her from going berserk, Giving her a massage and cuddling. Seeing as how we're both standing and the sofa is across the room, this is the best choice. "Sorry about that. When will they be back?" I ask.

"They should be here in an hour or so. Why don't you make yourselves comfortable, I'll be starting dinner here in a few moments," Twilight's mom is about to enter the kitchen when I ask her if she needs any help. "Well, I don't see why not!" I smile and follow her into the kitchen, ready to work some of my Sous Chef magic.

(Timeskip)

"Spike is the Bearnaise sauce ready yet?" I ask. He nods and brings it over to me. I take a ladle and slowly coat the sirloin beef steak with the sauce. Finally, after about 2 hours the meal is done. I look over at Twilight and her mother as they sit down and chat. Okay, I may have gone a little overboard with dinner... And by overboard I mean, I went and bought fresh ingredients and completely took over. I've always loved cooking even before I came to Equestria but now that I live with a roommate who is a literal god, I've been having to bump up my cooking skills.

Hell, nowadays I should be able to easily work as a Head Chef at a restaurant rather than a Sous Chef. "When do you think Shining and Dad will be back?" Spike asks. I've been working him to the bone by making him help me cook dinner while Twilight and her Mother caught up. Adding the garnish to the potatoes and the sauteed carrots, I set the table with the meals and make my way to the sink.

Twilight's mother is about to answer when I hear the front door open. "Honey, I'm home!" I hear from the living room. Twilight, her mother, and Spike all head into the living room while I finish washing the pots and pans that I used to make dinner. I wonder if he'll like me? "And who's this fine fella?" I hear from behind me. I turn around and see a man around my size with dark blue hair and a suit. In the doorway. "You must be Arthur, I'm Night Light."

He walks over and sticks his hand out to me. I shake his hand and hear something pop. He quickly pulls back his hand and shakes it numbly. Chuckling, he says, "Got quite a grip on you there. It's a pleasure to meet you." He walks over to the table and sits down. "I hear that you're the one who made dinner tonight! You didn't have to do that but I'm glad you helped Velvet out."

I walk over to the coffee maker and I grab two cups and pour some coffee into them. I walk over to Night Light and place the cup in front of him. "You take sugar?" I ask, he shakes his head and I sit down next to him.

He leans forward and sniffs the meal in front of him. "That smells pretty good! What did you make?" I pop my knuckles and lean back in the chair proudly. It's been a while since I've made this recipe but I made it a lot at the Bistro where I used to work. It was a high-class establishment and I had worked there since I was about 17, giving me about 8 years of experience before I was sent here.

Clearing my throat, I gesture to the food and start naming off the food with practiced ease. "A Rare Sirloin Steak with Bearnaise Sauce, A Baked Potato with Sourcream and Shallots, and Sauteed Carrots with Brown Sugar. I used to make it a lot when I worked at a restaurant about a year ago. I figured I could make it and impress you guys with my kitchen skills," I smile and look at the doorway as Twilight, Spike, Velvet, Shining and one other woman all make there way inside. "Bon Appétit."

I wait for everyone else to sit down before I start eating. Everyone else soon starts digging in and I hear some sounds of surprise. "Good, right?" I ask. I see Shining, Night, and the other woman nod while Twilight, Velvet, and Spike just ignore me and keep eating. Soon after, everyone is sitting around while they sit in the aftermath of the meal. I stand up and grab everyone's plates before washing them in the sink. "Anyone want dessert?" I ask.

Twilight's face lights up as she exclaims, "You made dessert!?" Everyone's ears seem to point in our direction.

I start laughing and I shake my head. "Nope, I bought some ice cream while I was out. I didn't have enough time to make dessert anyway. I've always been terrible at making dessert, it was never my station when I worked at The Bistro."

She looks at me somewhat disappointed before shaking her head. "I'm alright, thank you though. That meal was delicious." Everyone else nods and I smile.

"I'm Arthur, by the way." I stick my hand out to Shining Armor and he looks at me confused before he recognizes me.

I try to interrupt him but he blurts it out anyway, "I remember you, you were in the Castle Jail with Spike a few months ago!" He shakes my hand as if nothing ever happened.

Taking a deep breath, I turn to Spike as he quickly stands up. "We should probably run." He nods and we both book it toward the front door before we're lifted into the air by a light lilac glow. "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!" I shout. I place my feet against Spike and I kick him out of the glow. "RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!" I shout. He panics and uses "Soru" to run up the stairs.

Twilight turns me toward her and she presses her wand to my throat. "I'm not going to yell at you, Arthur. Just tell me why you were in jail," Twilight calmly says with a flat tone. Oh, fuck! I recognize that tone of voice! I've pissed her off and she's going to snap on me! "Tell. Me. Why. You. Were. In. Jail!" She shouts.

"Twilight put him down. He and Spike were arrested for dancing and singing in the fountain in the middle of the Mall," Shining Armor says. Bitch, you're the asshole who got me into this situation! The woman with pink hair is standing in the background holding a laugh while Velvet and Night Light look on interested in whats happening.

Twilight turns her attention to Shining Armor and I use that moment to make my escape. "Geppo" I hop out of the field and I walk up to Twilight and wrap my arms around her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want you to freak out." This seems to placate her a bit and she places her wand into her skirt pocket before wrapping her arms around my body.

"I guess it wasn't too bad. I know you've been in jail for way worse," Twilight says. The room is completely silent as what she just said is registering to everyone. Shining Armor quirks his eyebrow at me and slowly reaches for his wand. Velvet and Night Light are trying to hold back smiles while the woman with pink hair has started laughing loudly.

"Did you really just say that out loud?" I ask. I feel her slight nod as I let go of her.

When I let go of her she grabs me tightly and pulls me closer to her. "If I hold you, my brother can't attack you." I look over at her brother as he fully registers what she meant.

"What do you mean by "He's been in jail for way worse"!? Are you dating a criminal!?" Shining Armor shouts. Pretty much, yeah. I mean I have the memories and skills of a Pirate, A Man with a God Complex that evaporated an Island, A Governmental Assassin, and Myself. So I'm like 2/4 criminal.

Twilight lets go of me and quickly turns to her brother, angry at his accusation. "How dare you call him that! If anything he's a hero! He's saved people from fates worse than death and risked his life for his friends and you call him a criminal! I-" I quickly grab her by her shoulders and start massaging her. She weakly tries to keep yelling at her brother, "You're a jerk. Oh~ right there." I keep massaging her shoulders till I think she's calm enough.

"Yes, I've been in jail. No, I'm not going to tell you what I was in for. Just know that I love your sister and I would do anything for her," I say. I walk up to him and stick out my hand. "I'm Arthur Mayhew, First-Mate of the Straw-Hat Pirates. A pleasure to meet you."

He looks at me stunned for a while before slowly grabbing my hand. Instead of shaking my hand he tries to flip me over his shoulder. I just stand there and watch as he pulls my arm and tries his damnedest to flip me. "You really wanna do this right now?" I look over at his parents and say, "I'm so sorry about this."

"Don't be sorry. Shining Armor has always been overprotective of his little sister. It's one of the traits I fell in love with," The woman with the pink hair and wings says. I twist my body awkwardly and stick my hand out to her. "I'm Cadence, it's nice to meet you, Arthur."

"Cadence, stop being nice to the pirate and help me!" Shining grunts. He readjusts his grip and grabs my shirt by the collar and he keeps trying to throw me to the ground. It's getting kind of awkward having another man thrust his hips against mine like this.

"No thank you, I'm enjoying the view," She sweetly replies. And now it's weird. "You'll have to tell me about your adventures some time."

I look at Twilight as she tries not to laugh. "You can tell your parents and her about my past if you'd like. I'm gonna whip your brother's ass real quick."

Her face suddenly becomes as hard as stone as she looks me dead in the eye. "You're going to do no such thing, understand?" She says in the same monotonous tone from before.

I quickly nod and then gesture to her brother. "What should I do about this then?" I ask.

"Just let him tire himself out. He'll give up eventually... Maybe." Cadence says. "Why don't you tell us about his adventures in the meantime Twilight?" Her parents come out from the kitchen and sit down on the nearby sofa. Cadence follows soon after and they all sit in the living room chatting while her brother keeps trying to throw me.

"Can you get me something to drink?" I ask. Twilight just ignores me as her brother stretches out my shirt. "Hey, you're going to pay for that shirt asshole." Once more I'm ignored. "Coming here was a mistake," I whisper under my breath. After a few minutes, I get tired of being grappled. I grab him around his waist and lift Shining Armor over to the sofa, setting him down mid-story. "Where are you at?"

"I've just gotten to the part where you fought against Hachi," Twilight says. For the rest of the story, I hold Shining Armor down against the sofa. As we get further and further into the story he seems to relax and he even asks questions.

"Can you really use a sword like that?" I nod and he takes a thinking pose. "Have you ever thought of teaching soldiers? Your knowledge would really help our ranks."

"I'd have to move away from Twilight, so no. I haven't thought of teaching soldier. I'm teaching Spike how to use Rokushiki though. I taught myself how to use the Six Powers about 2 years ago. I still don't know why I have Eneru's Ability to use lightning though," I lie.

Twilight starts thinking about why I might be able to use Eneru's ability and she finally says, "Maybe you ate a fruit that gave you the same power he had when you were sent here?" I shrug and yawn. Twilight yawns soon after and she grabs my hand. "Arthur and I are going to go to bed. Good night everyone." They all say goodnight as Twilight leads me to her room. "You'll be sleeping in my old room with me. Just don't get any ideas okay? My parents sleep in the room right next to us and I'd rather not have them complaining to me tomorrow morning." I nod as I take off my clothing. We both crawl into bed together and cuddle. "Goodnight, Arthur."

"Night, Twilight." She uses her wand to shut off all of the lights and then she places it on the bedstand on her side. "We should sleep together more often." She chuckles weakly and she dozes off to sleep. I pull her against my chest and wrap my arms around her. I follow her example soon after.

Author's Note

I've been busy with work so I haven't been able to update shit, sorry about that.

Chapter 11: Short Fluff Because I'm Sick

Chapter 11: I've Been Food Poisoned

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

It's been about a month or two since I met Twilight's parents and so far our relationship has been blooming quite well. Hell, we've even moved in together! The only real issue was figuring out where to put all of my Training Weights. After about an hour of dinking around, the two of us just decided to place them in the yard. It's not like anyone else could pick them up to steal them. Right now, I'm looking around the house for my Haramaki/Bandana. I can't fucking find the thing, I had it about an hour ago but right now I can't seem to find it anywhere. "Twilight, have you seen my bandana!?" I shout up to her.

She's in the bathroom right now, probably doing her hair. I don't get a reply and I head upstairs to see if she's alright. I slowly open the bathroom door to find Twilight wearing my Bandana on her head. "Wow, I look good in this!" She states. She starts doing a few familiar poses. She picks up her toothbrush and places it in her mouth by the handle, similar to how I hold a sword in mine. She picks up a comb and a brush and holds them in her hands like swords as she starts swinging them around like they were weapons. "Santoryu: Tatsu Maki!" She says as she starts spinning on the ball her foot.

It's at this point that a large smile overtakes my face. I walk into the room and cross my arms, waiting for her to notice me. As she spins, she sees me standing there and she slips up, falling into my chest. I quickly wrap my arms around her and pull her into my chest. "What are you doing?" I ask, mirth apparent in my voice.

She starts wriggling until she gets one of her arms loose, she reaches up and pulls the bandana off of her head. "N-Nothing!" She practically shouts. Her face is a bright pink as she becomes increasingly embarrassed.

"You should wear that more often, it looks cute on you~," I say as I lean my head down to kiss her forehead.

She starts giggling and shaking her head. "Y-Your whiskers tickle! Quit it!" She starts laughing louder as she tries to get out of my hug.

"Oh, you mean like this?" I start shaking my head quickly, rubbing my whiskers over her forehead causing her laugh to increase in volume.

"S-Stop!" She cries. I quickly change my grip and pull her into a princess carry. I start walking toward our bedroom, ready to cuddle her for as long as I want.

Author's Note

Sorry for the incredibly short chapter. I wanted to post something because I haven't done anything in a while. I'm sicker than a dog thanks to some bad Thai food I ate yesterday and I figured that this would be the best time to post something. I'll hopefully be better by morning and I'll start working on a longer chapter soon.

Chapter 12: Equestrian Relations

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

(Man, I fucking hate train rides.) I think as I readjust the way I'm sitting. "So, tell me again why Celestia thought it was a great idea to force me to come to the castle?" I ask one of the four guards she sent to the Library. Apparently, she needs my help with something really big. Once more I'm ignored by the guards as they sit stone-faced.

"Any of you guys need anything?" Someone asks from behind me. I turn and see an attendant standing there with a cart. The entire train car was reserved for the five of us for "security reasons", AKA, they didn't want me fucking with any of the other passengers.

"Do you have any Apple Cider?" She nods. "I'll have one of those and some cookies, please." She smiles and walks away, not before giving the Guards a thinly veiled look of confusion. I turn to the guard sitting to my left and I start poking him. "Fucking do something, I'm bored!" He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes in anger. I slowly leave him alone and I turn back to the group of boring ass people. "I really need to talk to a doctor about my ADHD." I see all four of the Guards nod.

After about an hour of sitting around and fucking with the Guards, someone finally says over the speaker, "Attention all passengers, we are arriving at our destination. Please use this time to grab any and all of your possessions and prepare to depart from the train." I stand up and pop my back before reaching up toward the above head compartment where I grab my bag containing some extra clothing as per request by Celestia herself.

As we leave the train, we're immediately stopped by a large group of guards and the Princess herself. "Arthur, I'm glad you came. I need your assistance with a rising issue in one of Equestria's bordering countries. I've been told by Twilight and Spike that you know your way around a battlefield. Let's get back onto the train and I'll tell you more on the way." Celestia gestures for me to get back onto the train. I turn back around with a groan and I get back onto the train.

As we find our seats, I ask, "So, what's going on and why did you think I want anything to do with it?" We both finally sit down as the train leaves the station. The rest of the guard battalion fill up the remaining seats.

"A war broke out between the Kingdom of the Minotaurs and the king's rebellious Brother. His brother wants to take control of the kingdom to use its might against Equestria, sparking a war between our two kingdoms. I'm sorry to take you so far away from home but after the stories I've heard about your power, I figured that you would be an invaluable ally during this war. I have yet to tell anyone else about this rising issue, not even my own sister knows of the approaching war. As to why I wanted to bring you into the situation, I've heard things not only from Twilight and Spike but I've even heard things from Discord about how strong you truly are." Celestia says.

"So, you mean to tell me that you want me to end the war before it begins?" I ask.

"I doubt you'd be able to end the war quickly but I know you wouldn't mind a good fight," she says as she snaps. One of the nearby guards stands up and grabs a light blue blanket that is wrapped around something. She walks over to us and places the package on my lap. "I used a memory spell to see Twilight's memories about your weapons. I made these swords myself, enchanting them with a powerful spell to make them unbreakable." I unwrap the package and see 3 katana's identical to the ones Zoro used.

I lift them up and find that they're perfectly balanced. "You made these?" I ask. At her nod, I stand up and start placing them around my waist by the strings attached to them. "I guess living a long time gives you enough time to perfect some of your hobbies."

She sighs and rubs her eyes. "I've had to much time to learn many things, Arthur. I just hope that this war will end quickly," she says with a tired tone. "I've tried my best to keep Equestria as far as possible from any form of conflict but sometimes I need to have a firm hand in these things. We should be at the border in a few hours, why don't you take a nap while I try to come up with some strategies."

I shake my head and start walking toward one of the nearby doors. "I'm gonna find an empty car and practice a bit until we get there." She nods and I head through some of the cars until I find myself in an empty boxcar. I tie my Haramaki around my head and start practicing. "About time something happened," I say to myself with a smirk.

(Time-Skip)

"Arthur, are you there?" I hear Celestia ask as she walks into the boxcar where I'm swinging my swords around in a flurry of warm-ups.

I slow down and start sheathing my swords. "Yeah, I'm here. Are we finally getting close to the border?" She nods and gestures for me to follow her. "Anything I should know about the Minotaurs before we get there?"

"I think you would like them quite a bit. They're a Warrior civilization that respects strength above all else. The only thing you shouldn't do around them is to mention eating meat, primarily cows seeing as how they are half cow themselves," Celestia warns. As we depart, I see a large number of soldiers standing around a large brown furred man as he shouts orders to them. "General Steel Grip, we've arrived."

"Finally, we've only now gotten a report on how large their initial invasion force is and I'm not liking our odds. They have about 10,000 soldiers and outnumber us by about 8,000. I have a few carts ready to take you to the Capital so you can convene with the King," The brown haired hornless minotaur says. He turns his gaze to me and I see one of his eyes is missing. "Who is this?"

"The answer to your issue. Arthur and I will leave immediately while my guards help unload weapons and rations for your soldiers," Celestia informs. He nods and gives me a look that says "What the hell can this small man do?" Celestia gestures for him to lead and he takes us to a cart that takes us over a nearby mountain and into a large city that reminds me of Ba Sing Se from Avatar.

As we approach the castle, we are stopped and searched before they bring us into the main foyer where I can see an old white-furred minotaur shouting at a smaller light grey-furred female minotaur. "You will not be anywhere near the forward camp, understand!?" The man shouts.

"But Father, I can help! You know that I can fight so why won't you let me help!?" The woman cries.

The man turns from his daughter and sees us standing there. "We will not be talking about this again!" He says. His daughter storms off and starts babbling to herself at how unfair life is. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I am King Diamond Horn, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'm sorry to drag you into this situation Celestia but I need your help with the coming fight." He gestures for us to follow him and he leads us to a nearby window. "As you can see, their forces have already convened and are already on our doorstep."

I look out of the window and see an extremely large force standing near a distant mountain as they march ever closer to the Capital. I reach out with my Haki and start counting off the number of soldiers that are in the approaching army. Yep, about 10,000 so it shouldn't be too hard for me to take down by myself. "Mind if I go and "meet" their forces?" I ask Celestia.

"Why would you do such a thing by yourself!?" I hear the King shout. I turn to him and see that he's looking at me like I'm insane.

"If you really wish to do so then I doubt that I'd be able to stop you in any way shape or form. With how far they are from the castle you should be able to fight without holding back. Show them the might of the Equestrian Military," Celestia says with a grin.

I break out into a feral grin as I phase through the ground and over to the large army. I make my way out of the ground and I pull my swords out of their respective sheaths as I stand before them. I hear someone shout at the large army and I see them all halt. "Who are you and what do you think you're doing!?" I hear someone yell at me. I look up and see a pure white-furred Minotaur covered in plate mail armor walking out of the crowd.

"I'm here to kill your army before they make their way over to the Capital. I guess you're the man in charge?" I ask.

He breaks out into laughter as he looks me up and down. "You are going to kill my army? By yourself!? You must be insane!" He turns his gaze to one of the platoons and then shoves his head in my direction. Suddenly, a large group of about 30 soldiers charges toward me with their weapons drawn.

I place the last of my swords into my mouth and I cross both of my arms around my chest as I crouch down. "Enbima Yonezu Oni Giri," I calmly say as I cut through every one of the soldiers that charged me. As the fall to the ground, I make my move as I start running toward the large groups. I lift one of my arms as I shout, "Senhachiju Pound Ho!" I quickly bring it down and launch a large blade of air pressure through the large group of soldiers. They go flying as the blade flies through at least 100 of them.

This makes the entire army shout as the charge toward me. I jump high into the air and land in the middle of a large group as I quickly twist my body, "Kokujo: O Tatsu Maki!" I shout as a large tornado appears sucking in anyone close to it, ripping them to shreds. As the tornado picks up speed and it starts moving around, I start slashing through the closest soldiers. One of them throws his spear at me and I slice through it with ease.

Sprinting in that direction, I activate my Observation Haki and I start dodging their attacks as they make them. I point the sword in my right hand at the large group of soldiers and I shout, "Gyuki: Yuzume!" thrusting forward through the large group and breaking their ranks easily.

A solder swings his sword down on my body and I use Armament Haki to stop the blade in its tracks. I turn around and slice through his armor with ease. I look over at the tornado and see that it's taken out a good portion of the army on the right side so this fight should be done in a few more minutes. I fight my way out of the crowd and I turn to them before sticking both of my arms out to my sides with their blades pointed in front of me.

Time to see if this attack works or not. "Kiki Kyutoryu: Asura!" I say as my killing intent manifests itself into two more bodies that come off of mine. I start spinning on the ball of my foot much like Twilight did in the bathroom a few days ago. I slowly become a blur as I jump into the air and point my head toward the large army. "1-Man Pound Ho! I launch a large tornado of air-blades almost as tall as the mountain behind the army toward the group. It swiftly cuts through the rest of the army with ease and it continues into the mountain where it cuts a giant hole through it before continuing through the next two behind it before it finally stops.

I land back on my feet and I rush toward the remaining few thousand soldiers as they try to run from me. I hear the leader of their army shouting at them to keep their ranks and they begrudgingly follow his orders. "He's just one man, if we overpower him he'll fall like the rest!" He shouts. The ones who actually stayed start rushing toward me in an attempt to kill me. I just pop my neck and grin as they approach. I cover my blades in Armament Haki and I meet their charge with my own.

(Time-Skip)

On the way back to the castle with the only remaining member of their army, I readjust my grip on him and I turn my head to him. I melted his armor using "Gloam Paddling" and turned it into a restraint so he could be judged by the King. I figured if anyone should get the right to kill him it should be his own brother... Wow, I just realized how fucked up that sounds.

I'm glad all of my training finally paid off too. I mean seriously, I trained my ass off for a year even after I was as strong as post time-skip Zoro. I'm probably stronger than Mihawk at this point but from what I remember from the training, Zoro never really got to see how strong Mihawk was. (I guess Mihawk has to be strong in order to be a Yonko's rival. I wonder how strong Shanks really is?)

As I approach the main gate of the Capital, I hear people rushing out to meet me. People are cheering and shouting at me, some of them calling me a monster while most call me a hero. "Arthur!" I hear Celestia shout as she approaches me. Her face is in shock at my displays of strength. "I-I knew you were strong but to be that strong? Remind me to never anger you."

I give her a cocky grin as I point out, "I was still holding back, I just wanted to see how far my swordsmanship has come along." Her face seems to pale as she hears that.

"That was only your swordplay?" She asks. I nod and her knees buckle a bit before she catches herself. "I-I'm glad you're on our side then."

I nod as I turn my gaze to my prisoner and I'm reminded that I have him with me. "Oh, right. I brought the King's brother with me, think he has a bounty on his head?"

"You brought Steel Hammer with you? Let's make our way to the castle immediately!" Celestia says.

The nearby soldiers start parting the crowd of people and eventually we make our way into the castle where we hear some more shouting from the king. "You are not going to fight that man! You saw what he did to that army by himself, you'd be killed!"

"But father!" The same woman from before shouts.

"No buts! You're insane if you think I'd ever let you near someone like that!" He turns and sees us standing there. "Ah! You're back! I'm glad to see that you're alright." He notices the Minotaur on my back and he stutters, "I-Is that?"

"Yep, it's your brother. Let's talk about payment, shall we?" I set Steel Hammer against the wall and I lean against him. "How much are you willing to pay me for him?" I jokingly ask as I look at my fingernails.

"Of course! We can talk about your payment over dinner I-"

I cut the King off as I say, "I really don't wanna stay here any longer, I just wanna go home. I don't like being away from my house for too long."

"I insist! Please, let us throw a feast in your honor," he says.

"Well... If you insist, I could stay for a little while longer," I say with a grin. He smiles and leads us to an adjourning room. The room is a giant dining room. "How about we make this feast public, that way the people outside get to throw a party too."

The king smiles and agrees, "Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way!"

(Time to throw a party, Straw-Hat Style!)

(Time-Skip)

That party ended up lasting a full week. I learned so many things about the Minotaurs and their love of Alchohol. As it turns out, I can still out drink multiple people without stopping, including the Princess. Hell, they even showed me a thing or two about the way they cook.

Did you know that a flat longsword can be used to cook eggs? I did but I didn't expect them to have a sword dedicated to cooking. They even named the week-long party after the Straw-Hat's as per my demand and now once a year they'll throw a party in my honor.

After about 10 hours on the train, I'm back home and ready to go to sleep. "Twilight, I'm ho-" I'm cut off by a loud roar and I run back out of the Library. In the distance, I see a large Purple and Green dragon running through the town causing havoc. "I just fucking got back!" I shout as I phase into the ground and into the direction of the dragon.

As I approach, I hear Rarity screaming for help. "Help, someone please save me!" I hear her scream. I look up at the dragon and remember this happening in the show. Just as I'm about to use "Kamisori" to get onto his snout, he shrinks down to his original size and he catches Rarity before bringing her to the ground safely.

I walk over to the two as they talk to each other. "Spike, I just have to tell you how absolutely proud I am of you." Rarity says.

"Proud of me?" Spike asks.

"Yes. It was you who stopped... W-well you, from destroying Ponyville. You are my hero, Spike." She leans up and kisses Spike to his lips before she turns and walks away.

The poor boy just stands there with a shocked expression before he grins like a loony. Just as his knees give out, I catch him and put his arm around my shoulder. "You do know that I'm going to triple your training because of this right?"

"Worth it!~" He says with a wavering tone. I grin and start dragging him toward the Library.

"Come on lover-boy, you've got a letter to write," I say as he slowly gets his footing.

As we finally reach the Library, I'm tackled by Twilight as she cries into my chest. "I-I thought you got hurt! Celestia sent me a letter about what happened in Tauros!"

I pick her up and lead her into the bedroom where I set her down on the bed. I rub her back and whisper sweet nothings into her ear until she falls asleep in my arms. I soon follow after and the two of us lie there in each other's arms.

Chapter 13: Training Regime

Chapter 13: Heil Musckles

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

"13,901, 13,902, 13,903," Twilight and I count together. Spike is on top of me lifting his own barbell.

I continue doing push-ups until I feel my arms are about to give out underneath me. "Might wanna get off of me, Spike." He quickly steps off and I collapse onto the ground in pain. I slowly stand back up and walk over to the weights on the metal rack underneath Twilight's balcony. "I'm all for you joining in my training but when you asked me to show you how to work out my way I thought you'd join in," I state to Twilight.

I look over to Spike and see that he's taking a break to drink some water. "The whole reason why I'm joining you today is that I'm tired of my brother sending me letters asking me to send him a copy of your training regimen. When he heard about your trip to Tauros he was shocked to hear about what you did. I guess he wants to train his soldiers to be as strong as you," she plainly states. She stretches a bit and then looks over the weights. "Besides, I don't think I'd ever be able to carry something like that."

"I didn't think I'd be able to lift anything like that when I started but look at me now," Spike says as he walks over to a utility bench. He lies down before nodding to me. I walk over to the weight racks and pull off a few hundred pound ankle weights before walking over to him and strapping them to his ankles. He starts doing a Dragon Flag and he rests in that position for a while.

"It's probably not hard for the two of you but I've never even lifted a weight in my life. I'm okay where I am at the moment. The moment I choose to train with you two is the moment Rainbow Dash stops watching you two from the bushes." I hear someone squeak and I hear the bush being rustled. I look over and see two bright blue wings sticking out of the bush before two hands stick up and pull them back into the bush.

"Yeah... I'm not gonna let you send him that regimen though," I say as I walk over to the nearest weight bench. I begin racking my weights on it. The weights I use are similar to the ones Zoro used in his training. AKA person sized weights that are way too big for anyone else. I pick up the 50-ton dumbbell with my right arm and I start doing curls.

"Why not?" Twilight asks. I keep count in my head as I look up at her.

"Because I worked hard to make my training regimen and I want to keep it close to my heart. The only way I'd allow someone else to use it is if I was personally training them myself, look at Spike." We look over and see that his legs are starting to shake from the weights on his ankles. "Keep it up, you have a long way to go to reach my record!" I shout to him.

"Shut up!" I hear him shout in a strained tone.

"Well, then why don't you train the guards yourself? It would save time and you could see if they're trustworthy or not," she says.

(I could probably do that but then I'd have to kill them.) I sarcastically think. The only reason why I'm not training the guards is that I'm waiting for Twilight to become a Princess then she'd have her own personal guard group down here in Ponyville. (With all of the monster attacks, I could probably talk the Princess into sending some guards down here to be a Monster Hunter squad and then I could train them to keep Twilight and the rest of the town safe from attack if I'm ever gone or something...) I reach up with my left hand and I slap my face. "You're completely right..."

A proud grin makes its way to her face and she chuckles a bit. "I usually am in this relationship," she cockily says as she walks over and kisses my cheek. "Besides, you need the interaction with people. The only other person I've seen you talk to besides Spike, My friends, and the guy at the game store was Pipsqueak."

"Hey, I have friends!" I shout.

"Oh yeah? Who?" She asks. I start thinking through the people. (There's... No, he hates me now. What about?... No, they only like me because I buy food from them. How about?... Nope, they only like me for my muscles.). Once Twilight sees that I realize that I don't have any friends, she says, "See? You need more friends, Arthur."

"I'll get on it once I'm done training with Spike. We still have a long way to go. Right, Spike!?" I shout over to him. I hear him scream and fall in shock.

"I think he may have just broken something!" Twilight shouts as she runs over to her possibly injured brother.

"It's just a scratch, Twilight. I've had way worse," He says as he gets up. "I think I'm gonna take a break for a bit. I'm going back inside to refill my water bottle, want anything while I'm inside?" He asks me.

"Once I'm done with these reps, I'll go back in for a bit. You just take a break," I say. I look over at him and see him nod as he takes off his weights and puts them back. I turn away from him and focus on my own workout.

"This'll be fun! You like training Spike, right?" I nod. "So, wouldn't it be fun training a few more people?"

"Probably, but I don't want them leaving Ponyville. I'm not about to let the Equestrian Military learn all of my secrets." Twilight follows Spike into the house.

About an hour later, I finish my reps and make my way inside. As I wipe myself down with a rag, I hear Twilight come down to me. "Hey! I sent a letter to the Princess. She said she should be able to send some soldiers from both the Solar Knights and the Lunar Knights. She seems very excited, I've never gotten a letter back that quickly from either of them. Here, these two are for you." She looks down to the two letters in her hands and she hands them to me.

I clear my throat and read, "Dear Arthur, I do not know what possessed you to do this but I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep you interested in training my Knights. I'm sure my Sister feels the same way. She should be sending a letter with the one I'm sending. I hope to see you soon, Celestia. Hmm, I guess she wants me to train her guards."

I place the letter under my armpit and I open the other one. "Train my guards to pay me back for the prank you pulled on Nightmare Night." I look at both sides of it and I even hold it up to the light to see if there was more to it. "I guess she was mad that I kept calling her Moon-Butt."

"There may also be the fact that when she was supposed to take all of the candy from the kids, you started eating it all to make sure she couldn't take any," Twilight bluntly says.

"No, I'm just gluttonous, that wasn't a prank." I look at her before I break out laughing, "Yeah, that was a dick move. I totally owe her for that one. I'm still sick as hell from that and that was last year," I say with a grin.

"Yo, there are a few more letters coming!" I hear Spike shout. I look up and feel a few pieces of paper hit my face as he throws them at me.

"Fucking asshole!" I shout upstairs as a letter hits me in the eye. Twilight keeps trying to catch them as they fall but she misses a few. I quickly take them from her and read through them. "So each of these is the candidates that signed onto the program? What fucking program, I still haven't even scouted them out!? Twilight, send her a letter saying I'll pick them out myself. Just have them train and I'll pick them out when I get there."

"Alright, but when are you going to leave?" She asks.

"Right now... Actually, let's wait until after we get some lunch, who else is hungry?" I ask. Twilight makes a noise of confirmation while Spike raises his hand. "To Sugarcube Corner because Pinkie gave me a coupon I want to get rid of!" I shout as I take a dramatic pose. I charge upstairs and change from my shorts into a remake of Zoro's old outfit from the first arc.

Twilight lightly facepalms with a grin on her face while Spike jumps off the second story balcony. I walk over to the hook where I keep my swords and I attach them to my hip as we leave the house. "She better have Banana Nut Muffin's or I swear I'm gonna put one of these up her-"

"Arthur!" Twilight shouts.

(Time-Skip)

"~Welcome to Canterlot City where the air smells nice but the people are shitty~" I sing as I walk down the street. Twilight and Spike chose to stay home after lunch thanks to Rarity showing up and Sugarcube Corner and her asking for some help on a project. "~Fuuuuuuck you," I point in a random direction with my hand that's resting on my blades. "And you," I point in another direction. "Not you though you're probably cool~," I say as I walk past a woman who's pushing a stroller.

I reach up with my other hand and take a bite out of my Peanut-Butter and Banana Chocolate-Chip Waffle Sandwich. "Jesus, when Pinkie said she knew of a great food combination I didn't think she'd make the best thing ever."

"Halt!" I hear someone shout. I don't stop walking because they probably don't mean me. "I said, Halt!" I hear again. I turn toward the guards who shouted and see they are walking up to me.

I look at the two female guards and ask "Why? I haven't done anything wrong that I know of."

"Do you have a permit for those weapons?" She asks.

"Nope," I say as I accentuate the P with a pop.

"Then I'm afraid we'll have to take you in sir. Please, follow us," The one with on the left says.

"No thanks," I say as I begin to walk away.

I hear the two guards draw their blades and I hear one of them say, "You will come with us now or we will be authorized to use lethal force." I turn back around and look at the two guards. "I will have you know that I'm being trained by none other than Arthur Mayhew himself. I will not hold back." I hear the one on the right say.

Oh shit, this just got interesting. Apparently, she's been trained by me! It's only been a month since I stopped that war, I knew people knew of me but to actually meet someone trying to use my name to scare someone? I fucking love this chick right now. "I don't give a shit about who trained you. I'm sure you're garbage with a sword." I reach down and unhook my swords from my hip. I set them on the ground and I pop my neck. "I'll whip your ass without them," I say as I pop my knuckles.

"Are you sure you wish to do this?" The one on the left says. The one on the right ignores all protocol as she charges toward me. I quickly take a Muay Thai stance. I won't use any of my skill on the guards, just my own skills from home. She raises the sword high above her head and I use that overexaggerated move to move within her reach. She brings the sword down and I move my head between her arms. I quickly pull my head back and tear the sword from her hands, she quickly grabs onto my shoulders and tries to head-butt me. I move my head to the side and her head hits the side of my neck.

I move my hands up and grab her head, pulling her head down to my knee. I drive my knee into her nose and she falls to the floor. Her friend sees this and she slowly walks up to me, obviously using her head in this fight. As she circles me, I bring my foot up and stomp on the head of the guard on the floor to make sure she's unconscious. The guard uses that moment to thrust her sword at me, I quickly duck to the floor and roll forward into her guard. I twist my body toward the ground as I stand and I pull it up in an uppercut that lands just below her chin. She quickly falls to the ground, unconscious.

"Man, it's been a while since I've used Muay Thai... Maybe I can teach the guards how to use it in case they lose their swords," I say as I walk over to my swords. I loop them around my hip and I look at the two unconscious ladies. (I really should have just gone with them.) I think as I look at the scared people around me. "They started it!" I shout to them. I obviously started it.

I lean down and lift both of the women onto my shoulders. I make my way to the castle as stealthily as I can, only being spotted once. As I approach the main gate, the guards surround me. "Halt!" I hear one shout. "What is the meaning of this!?"

"These two shit heads attacked me because I had swords on my hip. I started the fight, I won't lie. You should probably take them to the infirmary," I say as I lay them on the ground. Two other guards charge up and grab the two of them from me. "I'm here to talk to your princesses about training you guy-," That's as far as I get when the other ones charge toward me. I quickly unsheath one of my swords and I block 5 blades with it. "You sure you wanna do this?" I ask threateningly.

"You're under arrest for assaulting a guard!" The one that stayed behind shouts. I guess he's a higher up. You know what, I'm gonna use this chance to find my trainee's. I'm gonna fight through the castle and I'm gonna whip their asses. If I don't find any guards worth training I'll call off the training in general. I reach down and unsheath the rest of my swords, quickly putting them in their place.

"Let's see how you guys handle stress," I say as I push their swords off of me. I quickly dodge an attack from the back and I bring my pommel down on the head of the offending guard. Another tries to use his spear as a javelin, throwing it toward me. I slice it into pieces and I charge toward the group of guards, ready to whip their shit into a creamy paste.

(Time-Skip and POV Switch: Shining Armor)

"Sir! Someone's attacking the castle!" I hear one of my loyal guard's shout.

"What!? Damnit!" I shout as I charge him. "Where!?" I quickly ask. He points toward the Castle Foyer and I pull my sword and wand and I sprint toward the foyer where I hear the sounds of battle. As I approach, I see the guards fighting off a sole combatant.

"Hyokindama!" I hear a familiar voice shout. Suddenly, the man jumps up and starts spinning, forming a large white ball that flies toward them.

I quickly conjure a barrier spell and I cover them causing the man to roll over it and into a nearby wall. I charge toward the man and see that it is none other than Arthur. "Are you insane!?" I shout to the man.

He just smirks and charges at me. He swings the sword in his left hand at me and I quickly block it with my right while tossing a spell at his chest. He blocks it with the sword in his right and he twists his head, swinging the sword in his mouth at my face. I jump back and thrust my sword at him, he quickly twists out of the way and uses the momentum of the move to swing his swords at me. I quickly throw up a shield spell and block it, I'm thrown backward by the force and I land on my back.

I stand back up and start ordering my soldiers to stop the raging man. "Squad One to the left, Squad Two to the right! Any remaining soldiers follow me up the middle! We stop this right now!" I shout. The men quickly split into squads and follow my orders. Arthur twists his head and pops his neck as my men start to surround him. "Give this up! Please! For Twilight's sake!" I shout to the man.

"Twilight's the reason why I'm attacking your men. She wants me to train you guys so I'm using this as an excuse to pick out the ones I want to train. So far, I have about 10 men and 9 women. I need one more before I'm satisfied." He lifts his swords and points them in front of him. He starts sprinting toward Squad One, "Ushi Bari!" He shouts as a ghostly bull forms behind him. I quickly form a shield around the Squad, halting the attack.

It seems to work until he pushes the spell causing his swords to pierce through the shield with ease. He charges through my men, launching them all back. I quickly give them a once over and see that none of them have been hurt, only thrown around. (He's toying with us!?) "Men, stand down!" I quickly shout.

They all look at me like I'm insane. "What!? We have to stop him before he attacks the princesses!" One of my soldiers shouts.

"Trust me!" I scream once more. My men slowly but surely sheath their swords. Arthur just stands there with a bewildered expression. I walk up to him and point my blade at him. I cross my left arm over my chest and point my wand in the air. "I will be your final opponent. If I lose, you can leave without any charges and I will take the fall for it. But when I win, you will turn yourself in and you will go to the dungeon for assaulting the castle." I bravely say.

He just looks at me with the same bewildered expression before it slowly turns into a feral grin. I feel a terrible pressure from all around me, almost bringing me to my knees. My men don't fare too well as they all fall to the ground, either puking or passing out. "Sounds fun," Arthur says.

As we circle each other, we start watching each other's stance. His stance is odd but somehow works, him holding two curved swords with another in his mouth. I guess Twilight wasn't lying when she told us about his stories. Suddenly, he charges me. He quickly slices the air in front of him, shouting, "Hyakuhachi Pound Ho!" A blade of air forms and flies toward me, I quickly conjure a triangular shield that deflects the blade off to the side into a nearby wall.

I cover my half of my sword in a shield and I slice in front of me, throwing the blade-shaped shield in his direction. As expected, he slices through it. He jumps into the air and slashes two of his swords at me while shouting, "Taka Nami!" A large gust of wind blows all of the guards behind me further away while launching me into the air. I quickly use small shields as platforms to catch myself.

I start sprinting toward him while using the shields to keep myself airborne. I swing my sword down toward his head, as expected, he blocks it with the sword in his mouth. I quickly conjure a shield around his head using the sword as a catalyst. A large ruby sphere forms around his head, "Give up or I'll suffocate you!" I shout to him.

He says nothing as he lifts his swords up and slices through the sphere with ease. I groan as I charge toward him. The two of us start swapping blows with me always blocking his attacks with a shield spell and him always blocking my attacks with one of his swords. He suddenly jumps back and sheathes all of his swords before pulling one off of his hip. "I'll use one last attack. You use your strongest and I'll use one of mine. Deal?" He twists the sword around him before grabbing it with one hand with the other wrapped firmly around the handle of his blade in a reverse grip.

"Deal." I start charging as much magical power into my sword as I physically can. I hold it to my right as I put my wand away. I grab the handle with both of my hands and we both stand there.

I quickly rush him and swing my sword at him, launching a ruby blade of pure magical energy at him. He does nothing as the blade tears through his chest causing blood to speed through the air. As I sprint toward him, he suddenly disappears from my vision as I hear him calmly say, "Ittoryu Iai: Shishi Sonson." I hear a click and feel pain as a slice appears on my chest through my armor, causing blood to fly everywhere. I feel myself slip from consciousness as he says, "I guess I found number 20, see you soon." I black out and fall to the ground.

(Time-Skip and POV Switch: Arthur)

"Was that really necessary?" I hear from my right. I look over and see Princess Celestia standing with her sister, the two of them clad in the same armor from before. "You do know that you're going to pay for all of the damages you've done, right?" She bluntly asks.

I nod as I rub the large wound on my chest. "Yep, but you're the one who said anything. You're also the one paying me to do this, I'm not training your soldiers without getting paid. Other than that, I only want to train them in Ponyville so I don't have to leave Twilight," I say as I look at all of the destruction.

She sighs as she looks down at Shining. "He even managed to hold you off long enough for us to come to his aid. He truly is worthy to be Captain, wouldn't you agree sister?"

"Agreed. Tis a shame to have him leave for his training, I'm sure Princess Cadenza will travel down to Ponyville to stay with him," Luna says.

"So, shall we meet your new recruits?" Celestia asks. I nod and she shouts to the guards, "Formation!" They all quickly line up.

I start picking out the 20 Guards. "Who are you?" I ask them.

The ones who stick out the most are "Lord Greecho: The Cleaner" He's literally a janitor that sprinted toward me with a mop trying to fight me while shouting "Aye Yai Yai!", "Crazy Eyes," a Knight that has the weirdest eyes ever, "Blobby" a female knight with an affinity for talking softly and a penchant for marrying crazy janitors named Greecho, and "Eugene." This has to be the weirdest group of people I have ever brought together.

"You brave 20 knights will be personally trained by me. It will not be easy and it will not be fun but you'll probably survive... Maybe," I say. "You have one week to move to Ponyville, see you then."

I turn and am about to leave the building when I hear Celestia call out to me, "Arthur!" I look up at the large woman. "Tell Twilight I say hello!" (What the fuck did she tell Twilight!?)

I quickly phase into the ground and I rush toward the Ponyville Library. I quickly stick my head out and see Twilight shouting at her friends, "I'M GONNA MURDER THAT JERK! HE ASSAULTED THE CASTLE, ATTACKED MY BROTHER, AND THREATENED THE PRINCESSES! WHEN HE GETS BACK I'LL GELD THE BASTARD!" I guess I'm staying at my old house for a week while she cools off. I try to pull my head back into the ground but I'm quickly pulled out by a light violet aura. "Where do you think you're going!?"

"Jesus Christ, not the eyes!" I shout as Twilight lets her rage out.

Author's Note

I had some of my friends name some knights in the story and they're the ones who stick out the most. Sorry about the weirdness behind their names.

Chapter 15: It's About Time

(Thoughts/ Telepathy)
"Attack Names"

"Arthur!" I hear Twilight shout from downstairs. I quickly jolt up from my sleep, accidentally fall out of bed and onto my side.

I quickly throw out some sailor expletives and I charge downstairs. "What's wrong?!" I shout as I run up to Twilight. I look around quickly and see Pinkie, Spike, and Twilight all wearing black, form-fitting onesies. Twilight looks like hell at the moment with her Eyepatch, Crazy hair, Head bandage, and the cut on her cheek.

"We're going to Canterlot to steal a scroll from the library. If we're not back within the hour then we've been caught and are probably being tortured. If that happens then it's your job to break us out, okay?" Twilight says.

I quickly look at her like she's insane before switching my gaze to the other two. "Is she serious right now?" I get nods from the both of them. "Twilight, you're the Princess's student and your brother is Captain of the fucking guard. I don't think you need to B-and-E the library. Just send the Princess a letter and I'm sure she'll send you the damn scroll. If you'll excuse me, I have to... What time is it anyway?" I take a quick glance at the clock on the wall and see that it's 10:32 am. "I have to get dressed, I have to train the guards in about a half hour."

Spike yawns and walks over to me. "It's about time someone said something about this ridiculous plan. I already wrote up a letter, want me to send it?" I nod and he walks over to Twilight's desk before picking up a letter and setting it aflame. "She should write back in an hour or so. I'm going back to bed. If anyone needs me, don't need me." He then takes off the silly outfit and walks upstairs.

"Awww! I wanted to break into the Castle! Why'd you have to ruin our fun, Arty?!" Pinkie childishly says.

"Because I don't want Twilight running around in a skin-tight body suit. Those shapely curves are mine and mine alone." I walk over to Twilight and wrap my arms around her.

"Arthur!" Twilight pulls herself from my grasp. "You ruined my plan! I had a map of the castle and everything!" She childishly pouts at me while stomping her foot. "You never let me do anything!"

"Do you want to break into the Castle?" I ask.

"A-A little..." She mutters.

"Then let's break into the Castle. I could make a game out of it. Let's see if we can beat Celestia to the Library." I walk over to the bodysuit Spike took off and I put it on. (Wow, this thing is really fucking tight. How do Pinkie and Twilight wear this thing so casually?!)

"Yes! The heist is back on! Pinkie, grab your stealth gear!" Twilight exclaims.

"Yay!" Pinkie shouts as she runs to a nearby closet.

"How are we going to get there?" I ask.

"I already got 3 train tickets ready for us!" Twilight says. "It's good to be prepared."

"Why don't you just teleport us? Wouldn't that be quicker? Hell, I could phase into the ground and get the scroll for you in no time. I could even carry you two and use "Kamisori" to get us there," I say as I scratch my chest.

Twilight pauses a bit and then takes a thinking pose. "That could work... Pinkie! Change of plans, Arthur is going to get us there!" Twilight says as she walks over to the nearby closet Pinkie closed herself in.

"Okey Dokey Lokey!" She says from behind me. I turn around and see Pinkie standing there with a blue bag and a few clown masks. "I brought my stealth gear for the heist, I even put points into Ghost and Fugitive for extra concealment!"

"Pinkie, I swear to god if you reference Payday one more time I'll never let you throw me a birthday party," I say as I rub my eyes.

"You won't let me throw you a birthday party anyways. Besides, I don't even know when your birthday is, you won't tell anyone," she says. She then zips around and jumps on my back. "Piggyback ride!"

Twilight just looks at her ruefully before walking in front of me. I quickly pick her up in a princess carry and I walk outside before using "Kamisori" to make our way to Canterlot.

(Time-Skip)

"Wow, that was way quicker than the train. Next time we have to come to Canterlot, we'll just do that," Twilight says playfully.

"Ha, ha..." I say as I set the two of them down. "You two go find the scroll, I'll go steal some other things to keep myself busy."

"You're not doing that!" Twilight shouts. I ignore her as I quickly sprint off before they can say anything else. I can faintly hear her shout, "Arthur!"

I turn and run into a nearby open door. I slow myself down to a walk and I mutter, "If I were something really important to a Princess where would I be?"

"How have you been, Moon Dancer?" I hear someone ask further down in the hallway. I quickly use Observation Haki to scout out the coming people. Two guards and a maid are walking toward me at a quick pace, judging by what they just said, they're just starting the conversation. I quickly jump into the air and use "Geppo" to hide above them as they slowly walk past me.

"Oh, I'm fine. How has your son been, is he feeling better at all?" I hear the maid ask.

I start slowly moving forward until I'm out of earshot. I fall to the ground silently and I pull the neck of the skin-tight suit over my mouth. I put my hands in a Naruto hand sign and I whisper, "Ninja." I hear more people coming so I duck into a nearby room. I look around the room and see that it's some form of study. "Oh, this is gonna be fun!" I exclaim as I look around for some kind of marker.

Eventually, I find a red dry erase marker in one of the drawers. Faintly, I hear the clattering of metal and as it gets louder I jump onto the top of a nearby bookshelf. As the noise passes, I jump back down and start formulating a plan. First target, Cadence. She should be able to point me in the direction of Luna, Celestia, and Blue-balls. I'm not even gonna use Haki for this one, just my own senses and ability to scare the shit out of people.

"Hajime!" I say as I exit the room. I quickly sprint like Naruto down the hallway and stop at the corner. I look around the corner and see a few guards posted next to a doorway. I start looking around to see if I can find anything to help me. I find a ledge about the size of a person sitting just above them. I use "Geppo" to get above them and I make my way onto the ledge. (Now, I wait.)

After about half an hour of waiting, a maid makes her way over to the door and the guards open it for them. I quickly grab the ledge and flip onto a similar one on the other side of the door. I guess I'm in the banquet hall seeing as how there is a large ass table fit for at least 40 people.

At one end, I see Prince Blue Blood sipping some soup. (Jackpot.) I look around the table and see about 10 guards posted around the room. I start looking around for some options, something to help me with my task. I look around and find nothing that could help me. (I guess I'll have to take him later.) I look over to a nearby open door and I use "Soru" to quickly enter it and hide.

I'm in a hallway again, I don't see any guards nearby so this place isn't that important. I start skulking toward a nearby corner and I look around it to find a woman dusting a vase with a smile on her face. She's humming a slow tune that I don't recognize. This should be easy. I quickly make my way behind her and I place the cap of the marker against her throat. "Tell me where Princess Cadence is or forfeit your life..."

She quickly locks up and starts sweating profusely. "I-I don't know where she is, I'm only a maid!"

"Then you know where her room is. Tell me." I start looking around hoping no one is coming down the hallway. Luckily, we're alone.

"T-Third floor, First room in the tower on the left!" She quickly tells. "P-Please don't hurt me, I have children!"

(Well shit, now I feel bad.) "Sorry about this." I quickly pop the top off of the marker and I drag it across her throat. She locks up at the feeling and falls to her knees clasping her neck. When she realizes she isn't dead she turns around and sees me standing there.

"W-What?" She asks in her confusion.

"I'm here to "Assassinate" the royalty. I'm doing this cause I'm bored as hell." I pull off my mask and she seems to recognize me. "I'm just gonna drag this marker across their throat and when I'm done I'll probably just go get lunch or something."

"But... Why are you telling me this?" I shrug and she looks at me weirdly.

"I felt bad about threatening you. I'm really sorry about that," I say as I lift her to her feet. I hear the clanking of metal coming towards us and I quickly disappear from sight by using "Soru."

I see her rub the marker off her neck before she walks up to the guards, probably to tell them what I'm doing. (Bitch! How dare you do your job properly!) I think as I quickly bolt down a nearby hallway. (Third Floor, first room on the left tower... How the fuck do I get to the second floor? Don't kitchens have those dumbwaiter things that lift food from floor to floor?))

I quickly make my way back into the kitchen and back onto the ledge using a rapid succession of "Soru's." I see that Prince Blue Blood has left and one of the nearest doors has opened revealing a long hallway. I look around the room and see one of those push trolleys that carries food from place to place. I use "Soru" to get into the cart. (Now I play the waiting game again.)

I sit for so long that I almost fell asleep. Suddenly, the cart takes off in a random direction. I guess I'm heading to the kitchen... I hope. After about 10 minutes, the cart stops and I feel someone place something on it. "Make sure this gets to Princess Celestia at once. Alright?"

"Of course, sir!" I hear someone say. The cart starts moving again and after another 10 minutes, it stops. I hear a faint squeaking and I hear the man start cursing under his breath. "Fucking thing... I hate these lifts, they're so fucking old that they're a pain in the ass to use." I guess he took me right to one of the lifts, the only issue is that I don't know where the fuck we are.

After a few seconds, the trolley starts moving and I make my move. I use "Kamisori" to quickly leave the trolley and I propel myself into the air. I start looking around, finding that I'm in a shabby wooden room with things covered in sheets. I wait until the man leaves to fall back to the ground. I quickly pull the lift back down and I see that nothing is on it. I guess someone got whatever they were taking to the Princess.

I quickly get onto the lift and start using "Geppo" to launch myself further up into the lift's passage. I count off the floors until I get to the third floor. I grab onto the stone ledge and I wait, trying to hear any noise coming from the other side. "Guards, be on the lookout for a man in a skin-tight black suit. He's presumably some sociopath with a marker trying to "kill" the princesses by dragging the marker across their neck. If we stay near them then we should be able to find him quickly. It's should also be said that the man might also be the same one who assaulted the Castle several months ago so stay on your guard just in case." I hear someone say on the other side of the door.

(Fucking cunt! You dare call me a sociopath! If I knew what that word really meant then I would totally put my foot in your ass! If they're going to cheat then I'll do the same!) I activate my Observation Haki and I phase into the wall. I quickly find and enter Cadence's room where I find her doing her makeup. "Princess Cadence?" I ask as I come out of the floor.

Surprised, she quickly jolts and smears makeup on her face. "Ugh! Couldn't you have waited for me to finish before you surprised me?!" She exclaims.

"Probably but I really didn't want too. I'm here to kill you," I plainly state as I lift my marker up so she can see it.

"With a marker?" She asks. She doesn't seem concerned at the fact that I just told her I'm here to kill her.

"It's a game I played with friends when I was in high school. It's called "Assassin," One of us is chosen to be the assassin while the others are either guards or targets. Guards have chosen areas they patrol or guards a hallway or classroom while the targets have a few things they need to do like check out a book or eat lunch while the guards try to find and stop the assassin from dragging the marker across the neck of the target. Guards and Targets win when the list is finished. Assassins win when either all of the targets are dead or all of the Guards are dead," I explain. "Now that I think about it, I really shouldn't have tried to do this. I mean seriously, what are the implications of me "assassinating" all four of the royal leaders."

"Yeah that does sound kind of dumb, but it sounds really fun! I think I have another marker somewhere around here, think I could join in?" She asks.

"Now I see why Shining is dating you," I say as I start looking around the room for the marker.

"Dating?" She chuckles a bit before continuing. "We're engaged!" She says with glee.

"You two are getting married? Congratulations! I might even give him some time off to spend with you..." I start laughing out loud. "Yeah, he's fucked at the moment. He may be alright with his spells but when it comes to physical shit, he's lacking."

"Ugh! Don't I know it! When we moved in together, I had to have nearby guards help while he sat and panted from one item. One!" She says. I start laughing and she starts laughing with me.

Suddenly, someone knocks on the door. "Princess Cadenza! We may have a security threat on our hands. Please, come with us!"

"He's no security threat! He's in here with me and we're having a chat. Please tell a maid to bring us some tea!" She turns to me. "What type would you like?"

"I fucking hate tea. Got any soda?" I ask.

"Ugh! Finally! It's expected of Princesses to drink tea but I hate the taste of it. I keep a stock of coffee just for Shining and myself. Want coffee instead?" She asks.

"Sure. After coffee, I'll have to find Twilight. I'm fairly sure she's gonna kick me in the nuts when I find her." I cringe a little as I remember the last time I made her mad.

"Twilight is in town? Why didn't she come say hi?" She asks.

"She was trying to break into the library even though she has access to it. I even told her how stupid of a plan that was," I say as I take a seat on her bed. "Jesus, this bed is soft as hell! Where'd you find it?" I ask.

The conversation drones on for about an hour until our coffee arrives. I quickly chug the coffee out of the small mug and I set it down on the extended silver tray the maid is carrying. "Time for me to head out. It was nice to finally sit down and talk with you," I say.

"You too! I have to get going as well. I have a diplomatic mission I have to go to in Tauros, apparently they heard about your little training group and they want to get in on it," she says.

"Really? I should start a guild or some-" I immediately stop myself. (Jesus Christ, why haven't I thought of that before!?) I quickly pull off my top so I can get to my pajama pants underneath my suit. I pull out my phone and call Discord. Once he answers, I quickly shout, "We need to make a guild!"

I hear him take a deep breath and exhale before he says, "What are you going on about?"

"I had a talk with Cadence and I came up with the idea of creating a guild. You know, like Fairy Tail." As soon as I say that, I hear him snap and I find myself in his living room with his hands on my shoulders.

"Tell me more!" He says with a large grin on his face.

"Imagine a guild like Fairy Tail except where I train non-combatants on how to fight. It'll have the same parameters as the original place. F to S ranked mages/fighters that take on jobs around Equestria. You could be the guild master for the magical sides of things while I am the guild master for the physical side of things. You in?" I as I extend my hand to the man.

"Should we make a guild house here or in Canterlot? Canterlot would bring more people in quicker while here would keep us close to home," he asks as he shakes my hand.

"I still have one of those prizes I told you about. Maybe I can reclaim it to get the entire Fairy Tail guild house?" I start looking through my phone to find the number.

I quickly text it and ask if I can do that. A few seconds later, I feel my phone vibrate and I see the reply. "Sorry, but you can only redeem prizes that belong to the same universe as the character you were displaced as."

"But I wasn't displaced as a character," I say.

I quickly send that to him and shortly after I get another reply. "Seriously?! One moment." Shortly after I read that, a portal opens in front of me, similar to the ones that open when another monster appears. A man steps out wearing the RE4 Merchant costume but the mask and hood are pulled down revealing a bald man with numerous scars. His bright blue eyes look at me as I stand there. "Wow, you really weren't displaced as a character... I don't think there are rules for people like you seeing as how this rarely happens."

"Well then shouldn't I be able to get a guild house?" I ask.

"I-" He cuts himself short as he takes a thinking pose. "I'll see if I have one but if I don't you can probably just redeem some money to get the funds to do so. I probably have some extra floor plans I can give you."As he steps back, a portal formed around him. After about 10 minutes, he reappears with a couple of sheets of paper in his hands. "I don't have the guild itself but I do have these floor plans. It's yours if you redeem them. Just know that these belonged to Makarov Dreyar so you'll probably get his abilities and skills as well once you touch them."

"What kind of things should I expect once I take these?" I ask.

"Well... Master Makarov had complete mastery over Giant Magic, Defensive Seal Magic, Fairy Law, Light, Fire, Ice, Wind, Requip, Dispel, and Telepathy Magic. He's extremely powerful, It's one of the reasons why he was one of the 10 Wizard Saints," He states.

"So... Would I be able to teach others how to use this magic? Most magic in this Equestria is done with a wand," I ask.

"Once you take the plans, the magical properties of the Fairy Tail universe would be transferred to here, allowing anyone to use magic such as yours. Hell, after a few hundred years people would even start making their own magic," he says.

"Okay, that's pretty fucking cool," I say with a grin. I look over at Discord and see he's grinning with me.

"Why do you think your guards have been able to keep up with your training? I looked up your file and I read that you've started training guards. When you entered this world you also gave every entity the ability to be as strong as any One Piece character. Sure, it's a little hard to notice but you changed the world by entering it," he states.

"That does make sense. Most people back in my time wouldn't have been able to keep up with you on any day but nowadays your guards are slowly becoming monsters in their own right," Discord says.

"I have a file?" I ask.

"We keep files on every Displaced character, you're not special." I quickly look down at the ground with fake tears in my eyes. "Well, are you going to take the plans or not?" He asks. I reach over and take the floor plans from him with a wide grin on my face. He quickly throws his hood and mask back on and says, "Pleasure doing business with you."

He walks backward and another portal appears behind him. He walks into it and he disappears once more. "Well... What the fuck do we do now?" I ask.

Discord shrugs before he looks at the floor plans. "Wanna go get zoning permits?"

"Wait... Now that I know how to use magic, shouldn't I be the central Guild Master?" I ask.

"I guess? I just want to start taking jobs, to be honest. It's been really boring since Fluttershy left for Cloudsdale," he says in a depressed tone.

"Why's she in Cloudsdale?" I ask.

"She's visiting her parents for their anniversary," he states.

"You know this how?" I ask. I cross my arms and shove him with my shoulder as we walk out of the house.

"We... May have started dating and we may have moved in together. The only reason why I was at this house was so I could pack my things," he quietly says.

"About god damn time!" I shout. As we continue walking, I remember the fact that I just bought a new type of magic into this world. "Maybe we should tell Celestia about the new type of magic. She could probably back our new guild and help us find members and jobs. Hell, maybe we could talk her into creating the 10 Wizard Saints with you and me as members."

"That... Might actually be a good idea. Shall we take your ride or mine?" He asks in a posh voice as he lifts his hand.

"Yours. Shall we my friend?" I grab onto his shoulder and he snaps, bringing us to the Castle throne room where Celestia is in the middle of Day Court. "Celly, we need your help!" I tuck the floor plans under my arm and I walk up to her. I ignore the man looking at me with anger as he walks up to me. I grab his face and lift him off of the ground. "Not the time to be starting shit." I let him go and he sprints out of the throne room.

"Arthur, Discord, It's a pleasure to see you. I heard that you were in the area when Twilight showed up this morning trying to break into the library. I had received a letter only minutes before you had arrived. I also heard that you had assaulted one of my maids, mind telling me about that?" She asks with a stern tone and look.

"Not the time. I caused a new type of magic to form and I gave it to everyone on the planet. I want to create a magical guild to help people understand and learn how to use it," I say as Discord takes the plans from under my arm, showing them to the princess.

"You caused a new type of magic?! That's insane! You have to be joking with me!" She exclaims.

I just look at her like "Try me bitch" as I tap into my new powers. I use "Requip" to change into Makarov's Wizard Saint Outfit. Then I use "Fire, Ice, and Light" magic to form the letters "Fairy Tail" above my head. (I can do a whole lot more too.) I telepathically say to her.

She looks at the letters above me with surprise and pure astonishment before she breathily stammers, "Y-you really did bring a new type of magic into the world..." She sits forward on her throne and tries to stand up but she finds that her knees are too weak at the moment. "D-Do you know what you've just done?" She finally gains her strength and she stands back up before walking over to us. "You've just created something only my mother could. My mother was the creator of the entire universe! How could you create something that not even I could?!"

"I'm actually from another universe but I don't really want to explain that at the moment. Can you please help us fix the problem we just made?" I ask as I pull out my phone. I start reading off the Fairy Tail wiki, telling her about the Magic Council and the 10 Wizard Saints as well as telling her about what types of magic there are, and from memory, I start telling her about how people will start displaying new forms of magic when they're born.

"T-This is insane! I can't believe you're truly from another universe..." She takes a deep breath before she relaxes. "I will make a formal address as well as send letters to every one of Equestria's allies. They will hopefully see reason and come join us in making a Council such as that. If all goes well then I will help you create the guild system created by the Magic Council and then we will form one of our own. I still have no idea how you did what you did but from what I understand it was by accident." (Not really by accident but I don't really think she needs to know that.)

"Should I stay in Canterlot for the time being?" I ask.

"I'll send a letter to Twilight when I need you. Don't do anything such as this ever again!" She shouts.

"Kinda hard to recreate the magic. I did it on accident so I don't think I'd ever be able to do it again even if I tried really hard," I say as I take the plans from Discord. I hand them to her and ask, "How much do you think this building would cost?"

She looks at them and then looks at us, "The creation of magic wasn't on accident was it..."

We slowly start nodding before we both look at each other then the nods turn to shakes as I begrudgingly say, "Yeah, it wasn't."

"You two are gigantic fools," she monotonously deadpans.

"We know," We both say at the same time.

Chapter 16: Magical Diplomacy

(Thoughts/Telepathy)
"Attack Names"

*Yawn* I then smack my lips and blearily gaze through my slowly closing eyes as Celestia greets the diplomats and royalty that came for the meeting. At least Spike was having fun on his journey to the Dragon Lands. "Greetings everyone. I know you are all tired from your journey's but I also know you wish to know more about this new type of magic that is appearing all over the world. The man next to me is one of the two people who created this magic, Arthur."

"Yo," I say as I lazily salute the group of people. I see an African man and woman donned in ceremonial robes, a small dragon man with a white suit, King Diamond Horn, a Cat man and woman with black fur and purple robes, an anthropomorphic yak with a golden crown emblazoned on his head.

"Now that you all are here we can begin our summit. Over the past few weeks, we have been studying this magic with our top scientists with the help of Arthur and his knowledge of the new form of magic. It seems like it's the physical embodiment of the spirit. The physical spirit of a person or thing connects with the flow of nature itself, forming magic as a byproduct of the connection." Celestia then takes a sip of her tea as the group of people find their seats. "Only a small number of cases have been reported of people having said magic meaning that it is an isolated case. Many of the reported cases are newborn children but some have been adults. I had my best scientists work on a sensor to see if someone has access to this magic and so far we have noticed that the number of people with access to this magic is about 1 in 10."

"So you're saying that only a few people have access to this magic?" The male cat asks.

"It is estimated that only 10% of the population should have access to this magic. Even if they have this magic it would be difficult for them to access it as it takes a great amount of concentration and mental fortitude to use said magic. Out of the 20 cases of adults, only 6 were able to use said magic. I called you here to ask for your help in moderating said magic," Celestia says.

"What could we do? As you've said the entire world has said magic. What could we do to help moderate a global incident?" The small dragon asks.

"By creating a system that watches over the magic by allowing those who can use it to help others. Arthur here devised a plan to create a Magical Council to oversee and create rules that his second plan would work with. His second plan was to create a guild system that would allow Mages to use their skills for good by taking jobs that differ from small jobs to larger ones that put the user at risk such as hunting monsters and stopping bandits," Celestia says. "Arthur, why don't you tell them about your system."

"Alright. Under the order of your rules, the Magical Councils of your homelands would enforce rules over the guilds to uphold lawful employment of Mages and the enforcement of proper conduct. If a guild were to cause destruction it is the Councils job to reprimand them. They also have the power to create and destroy any guild they deem too harmful," I look back down at the paper Celestia gave me to read off of. "The ranks of the guild go "The Guild Master" who is the head of the guild they are affiliated with. The Guild Master is normally a powerful wizard who has complete authority over the group of Mages in the guild."

I lift the paper up and shake it a bit. "Seriously?" I look at Celestia and then set the paper back down. "Look, the guilds are pretty many mercenaries for hire that do jobs that help your country while also creating new jobs. S-Class Mages are the ones who do the dangerous shit like slaying beasts and fighting monsters. Those jobs usually pay very well while the other jobs go to the regular Mages. The only jobs that should be reserved for people like the Guild Master or the experienced S-Class are SS rank missions like slaying a pack of hydrae. Most of the lower level jobs are things like "Collect this" or "Find that" or even "Clean this."

"So you want to effectively make mercenaries legal while also watching over the Mages that appear?" King Diamond Horn says.

"Somewhat. There might be rogue elements that create Dark Guilds that do evil shit like murdering or assassinations. It's the job of the Guilds to stop things such as that," I say. "Moving on to another topic is the creation of the 10 Wizard Saints. The title is given to a Mage by the Magic Council. It's usually an S-Class Mage that is extremely powerful, such as myself. The Mage doesn't even have to be part of a guild, they could even be a member of said Council. They are pretty much the top 10 strongest Mages in the world."

"So it's just a title then?" I hear the Yak King ask.

"Pretty much. They're the 10 strongest Mages in the continent and it's a prestigious title that isn't given lightly," I state

"Let us get back to the real issues of creating a new system. I believe that-" At this point, I zone out of the conversation as Celestia takes over. The two of them start talking about this and that with the occasional input of one of the other delegates. I just start messing with my phone, looking at memes and occasionally chuckling at the random photo. "Arthur? Arthur!" I hear Celestia shout.

I quickly look up and see that the room is now empty. I guess they all made a decision on something. "Yeah?" I ask.

"They wish to see what you can do with your magic so I had them go to the training yard. Once they see what you can do they'll come to a decision," she says. I nod and the two of us head downstairs and out of the castle into the yard.

"So you guys wanna see what I can do?" I ask. I receive a few nods and I walk into the middle of the training yard. (What should I start with?) I think as I start stretching. (I could start with Giant Magic but that should probably be saved for last. I could start by showing off my elemental magic. Maybe Telepathy? I don't know, I'll just wing it like normal.)

I finish my stretches and I start forming a large tornado using Wind Magic. Once it's as tall as the castle, I start adding flames to it, turning it into a large vortex of fire. I then send it roaring toward the group. I quickly use Giant Magic to enlarge my arm and I pull myself between the vortex and the delegates as I slam my hands against the ground. I form two large walls twice the size of the castle, one of light and one of ice.

The tornado clashes against the wall of light, absorbing it and adding it to the mix as it chips pieces of ice off and adding them to the mix. I then control it to follow me as I sprint to the side. I then start forming defensive seals in the air using my hands as I start closing the large tornado of elements into a box. As I slowly close its power into a box the size of a car, I grow my body to the size of the castle and I lift it into the air where I decide to crush it in my hand while using Dispel Magic to cancel its effects.

I then shrink down to normal size and use Requip to change into my Wizard Saints robes. I start walking up to the astonished group and I use telepathy to talk to them, (How was that?)

"That may have been a little much, Arthur. You seem to have gathered a crowd," She says as she gestures to the gathering of Castle Staff and Guards.

"Sorry about that. I'm nothing if not excessive," I say with a grin.

"I see that. So, do you all agree to the creation of a Council to ensure the safety of others?" Celestia asks the delegates.

"I-I agree. That type of power should be contained!" I hear the Yak King shout. Soon after, the rest of the delegates all agree and they start walking back into the meeting room.

"I believe you convinced them, Arthur," Celestia says.

"As long as I get to go home within the next hour, I'm fine," I say as I start walking back into the meeting room. She follows me in soon after.

(Time-Skip)

"Fuuuuck! I'm so glad we finally came up with a plan. It's been what, 3 weeks?" I look over and see Celestia nod, unfazed by all of the politics. "I'm excited to go home," I say with a grin.

"Sorry, but for the next days you'll need to stay here in Canterlot to oversee the creation of the Equestrian branch of the Magic Council." She chuckles a bit.

"Really?! What am I gonna tell Twilight, I've already been here for almost a month!" I shout.

Celestia chuckles. "At least you've been getting to know Twilight's parents, they've have been loving it when you visit. I saw them the other day and Twilight's mother wouldn't stop talking about how much she wants you to marry her little baby," she says with a smile.

"I already have a ring, I'm just waiting for the right time. Seeing as how I'm stuck here, for the time being, I don't think I'll find the time," I say as we turn a nearby corner. I look further down the hall and see King Diamond Horn and his wife Ruby Glass talking about something. "Yo!" I shout to them.

"Ah! Arthur! We were just talking about you! We had hoped to talk to you about something important-" He looks over at Celestia and says, "Very important." Celestia gets the hint and excuses herself. King Diamond Horn then gestures for me to follow. "I was hoping to talk to you about my daughter-" (This can't be good.) "Ever since you came to our kingdom she has been asking about you and I was hoping that you would take her hand. She has recently come of age and I believe that you two would be a fine couple."

I immediately cut him off as he opens his mouth once more. "No. No thanks, I've got a girlfriend," I say with a cheeky grin.

"Oh! I'm sorry to put you on the spot like that, it's just." He stops for a bit before continuing. "My daughter has an unhealthy obsession with you and I had hoped that you would help me cull her away from you and point her toward one of our other suitors. My plan was to have you date her for a while, act like a terrible person, and then leave unexpectedly without a trace," he says.

(I can obviously tell that last part was bullshit but the whole unhealthy obsession part was true.) "So she's crazy about me? Why?" I ask. "I didn't speak a single word to her for the whole week I was in Tauros."

"She sees herself as the greatest fighter in Tauros due to her defeating every one of my guards in single combat. After you defeated my brother's army by yourself, she has been trying to find a way to fight you so she could prove that she is the greatest warrior on the continent," he says.

"I don't see why you allow her to do such things when she should be spending her time learning how to rule a kingdom!" Ruby exclaims.

He ignores his wife as he turns to me. "Can you please help me do something about her hubris?"

"Nope." I start walking in the opposite direction of them. I hear the king sputter a little as he sprints up to me. "Not interested in fighting someone to satisfy their strange desire. I've done it before and the only thing that happened was that I almost died. Still got the scar from it too."

"Bu-But you must do something about it! Please, for her sake!" He shouts.

"I don't have to do shit. You have to tell her to stop acting like a petulant child and you have to tell her to grow the fuck up. Seriously, you're the king of a nation, how hard is it to tell your daughter to grow up?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell him for years but he has it in his head that our daughter is some sort of special butterfly that needs to be cared for. She's singlehandedly fought off 20 guards by herself without breaking a sweat and he still treats her like a child," Ruby says.

"If you'll excuse me, I have to go do something somewhere else. AKA, I'm done talking about this. See ya," I say as I turn down a nearby hallway. I hear him sputtering while his wife tries to console him. I soon move out of earshot and see a staircase nearby. I quickly go up the stairs and I turn to my left, hoping this path brings me to my destination even though I have no idea about what I should do next.

After walking for about an hour, I find myself in front of two large white doors twice as tall as I am. I hear some moaning and bed pounding behind it and I'm curious as to whose room this is. (Should I fuck with these guys?) A thought comes to mind and I immediately decide to do it. I activate my Haki and see Prince Blue Balls and some chick going at it. I then use my power of Telepathy to tap into their minds. (Who goes there? Where am I?! Why are these foul people dwelling within my chambers?! I shall end you both where you lay!)

Not long after, Prince Blue and his friend sprint out of the room screaming for Celestia and their guards, not even taking the time to put their pants on. I didn't even do anything yet, I just talked a bit with an accent. I guess they're just scaredy cats. As I turn to leave, I run into someone. I look up and find Princess Luna looking at me with a distasteful glare. "Why art thou outside of the Prince's bedchamber? As you can see, he has just left his room in a flurry of panic." She turns her gaze to the door. "Tis my guess that you had something to do with their sudden departure?"

"Yep. I pranked them good," I say with a grin.

"May I ask how you did so? You were only standing before their door for but a moment," Luna says with her brow quirked, interest in her eyes.

(Telepathy, my dear Luna.) I telepathically say to her.

When she hears my voice in her head, her eyebrows lift and her eyes light up. "You can use magic?! I have heard of your talents but to use magic without a wand is unheard of. At the dinner table, I have heard about how you created a new type of magic but I had believed it to be a fabrication. Please, tell me more about this new magic!" She asks as she starts walking away.

I shrug and I start walking alongside her. "What do you wanna know?" I ask.

"Thou mayst not know but in my prime, I was quite the sorceress. I spent many a year in my youth reading about spells and incantations. I wish to know all about this new form of magic," She says with a wistful smile on her face.

"Well... I could teach you how to use it, if you want to learn that is," I say. Immediately, I'm grabbed and pulled in a random direction. After walking for a little while, she leads us down some stairs and outside to the training grounds. "I guess that's a yes?"

"Indeed! We are excited to learn something new, especially something completely new to this world!" She says.

"Well then choose what type of magic you want to learn because I'll only teach you the basics of one type. I can teach you Light, Wind, Ice, Fire, or Requip magic. Dispel magic would probably be worthless to you at the moment seeing as how I'm the only person who knows enough about this magic to even use it," I say as I start taking my shirt off. I throw it to the side and I start stretching.

"Why can I only learn the basics?" She asks.

"Because after I teach you the basics, you'll have to take the magic into your own hands and develop your own skill," I tell.

"Well... May we learn more about Ice Magic? We had learned about Ice Magic using a wand but we have never even thought of using it with our hands as it normally would freeze our skin. We can normally use magic without a wand due to our Alicorn heritage but I do not believe that we are using the same magic as you," she says.

"Nope. The magic I use is the physical representation of your spirit. I'm gonna draw out some of my power and you're going to stick your hand in it and then you're going to try and replicate that feeling by using your own magic," I say as I pop my neck. "Be warned though, my magic is quite powerful so don't try to replicate it fully, just try to draw it out for now."

"A-Alright. I am quite nervous as I have never done this before," she stutters.

She walks closer to me and then nods, waiting for a signal. I then start allowing my power to pour out of me, causing the ground to start shaking. After a little while longer, the ground beneath my feet starts cracking and the clouds above start gathering. "Alright, that should be good. At this point, you should be able to see it." As I say that, a golden aura appears to me and it covers me like a blanket.

She starts slowly walking toward me with her hand extended. Once it enters the aura, she gasps and she sticks her other hand in the aura. "This feels incredible!" She says. After a little while, she pulls her hands out and I let my power go, letting it dissipate.

"Alright, your turn." I then use Ice Magic to make a bench and I sit down on it. "Let's see what you got Princess," I say with a smug grin. Not soon after, she starts lighting up with a dark blue aura. With a smug grin, she looks at me. "Show off."

"Tis not too difficult. Once I learned the feeling, all I had to do was replicate it. It is much like our normal magic but it is far more... Physical. Our mana usually forms as an indefinite source that comes from nature but this magic comes from our own body," she says.

"Well now that you know how to use it, you should stop doing that. Mana sickness is a terrible thing," I remind.

She cuts it off and walks over to me. "What now?"

"Now, we go over the basics. You should start bringing your mana into your hands and focus on the air around you. The air has water in it that you can use to make ice. Cup your hands and focus on the air inside of it. Once you pool some water into your hands then we'll work on the second part of your training," As I finish, I look down at her cupped hands and see water already forming in her hands.

"So your magic isn't as different as ours, after all. We do much of the same in our own Ice Magics and I believe that your magic is much like our Alicorn Magics, anyone else may have had trouble learning such a spell," She says with a grin.

"Well then, I guess we're moving on to part 4 of the training if you think you've got the rest down." I stand up and form a replica of my own sword out of ice. I then cover it with an invisible Armament Haki and I point it at her. "Now, we put it to the test," I say with a feral grin on my face.

"Indeed," she says with an equally feral grin as she forms a spear. As it finally finishes, it is then covered with a dark blue aura. She then throws it at me and I block it with ease. As it bounces off of my blade and into the air, she jumps and grabs it before coming down on me with the tip pointed at me. Instead of moving, I slide the attack out of the way with the point of my blade. When the tip is buried in the ground, she pulls herself toward me, lifting both of her feet into the air and kicking me.

I fall backward and I roll with the kick, landing back on my feet just in time to dodge another blow. I start swinging my sword at her slowly, wanting to judge how quickly her reflexes are. Unexpectedly, she moves almost as quickly as I can and she tries to drive the point into my chest. I quickly twist with the attack and I bring the handle of my blade down on her head where it is caught by her left hand.

She then pulls me toward her where she headbutts me. I meet her attack head on and I slam my forehead against hers. She is pushed back while I lift my foot into the air before bringing it down on the tip of her spear, lodging it into the ground. I then sprint up the shaft and bring my knee to her face. As she falls I bring the handle of my blade down on her head and she goes out like a light.

"Well, that was fun," I say."...Luna?" I look down at her and see that she is unconscious. "Well shit," I say as I look around. Seeing that no one has seen what I just did, I use Ice Magic to form a small block that I place on her head as I lift her up. I then lay her underneath a nearby tree and I sit down, waiting for her to wake up.

Chapter 17: The Invasion.

Chapter 17: My Condolences On Your Wedding

(Thoughts/Telepathy)
"Attack Names"

Sign this, sign that. Rinse, repeat, stop for a second to stretch my cramping hand and then continue once more. It's been the same drab thing for the past four weeks and this should be the final few sheets. Once it's done, I'll be the 9th guild master of the Fairy Tail guild that just finished construction. It won't be the same as Makarov's memories make it out to be but I'll be trying my damnedest to make it close.

I yawn as I feel my eyes start to close, I quickly reach over to my cup of coffee and I take a long pull as I chug the last of it down. I look at the clock on the far wall, 12:34 am. I lean back in my chair and I look over at the candle that's been giving me a low light for the past few hours. Its flame has been guiding my hand like a river guiding a boat.

I turn my gaze to the person sleeping on my bed, she only got here earlier today but she's done far more than I. Cussing out her brother with words only I've used, noticing that "Cadence" is a fraud like I have, helping with the planning and the food. She's worked herself ragged even though she doesn't think Cadence is the real deal. "That's my girl," I whisper with a smile. I can't wait for this whole thing to be over so the two of us can finally have some alone time. I could probably help her on her journey but I know she has to be captured in order to save the Cadence in the old Crystal mines. I know for a fact that I'll be right there by her side when the fighting breaks out to make sure she doesn't get hurt.

I slowly stand up from my chair and I walk over to the bookshelf by the table and I start rifling through the books trying to find a certain one. "Madame Heart's Marriage Mystery's," I whisper aloud as I pull it off of the shelf. I start flipping through the pages until I come to page 100 where the book is now a hollow shell holding a very special item I had made as soon as I entered Canterlot. A small royal purple velvet box that may hold my entire future in it rests in the hollowed out shell. I take the box out of the book and I place the book back on the shelf.

I open the box and look at the small golden band with a prismatic diamond on it and I grin. This small band cost me quite a pretty penny but I know that it was worth it. I would give my entire fortune away just to stay with her. I'd even have every one of my powers taken from me if it meant that she would be safe. I close the box and I walk back over to the table, taking my place on the chair once more. I set the box to the side, hiding it as I take the quill within my hand once more, continuing my work on this hellish thing called paperwork.

I see why Celestia is an uptight shrew seeing as how she has had to do this every day for the past thousand years by herself.

I sigh as I rub my eyes and I start reading through the fine print of each sheet, signing off on the ones that pertain to the guild while putting the ones that have nothing to do with it aside for the moment.

Arthur Mayhew, next sheet. Arthur Mayhew. This goes on for a few more hours until I finally move a sheet and find the bare table beneath it. I then turn my attention to the piles of paper that I'll do tomorrow... Wait, it is tomorrow. I sigh once more as I start signing off on the other papers while reading through them once more. I soon fall asleep while writing off on some paper for my citizenship in Equestria.

As I walk down the hall reading the final page of my paperwork, I hear someone call out, "Arthur!"

I turn around and see Prince Blueblood walking toward me. Before I met him, I thought he was nothing more than an overconfident royal with his head up his ass but over the month that I've known him, he's actually quite a chill dude. He's actually quite an intelligent person, I actually think he may be on par with Twilight, to be honest. I asked him about the whole Rarity thing and he straight up said that he does that with every gold-digging woman he meets to either piss them off or push them away. It almost makes me regret pranking him as much as I do. Almost.

"Sup, Blue-balls," I say as he reaches me.

He lifts his hand to silence me. He takes the paper from my hands as he says, "Follow me. I think I found out who made the threat upon Canterlot," as he starts walking away. I stand there for a moment, watching him before I shrug, quickly following him. "As you know, I help oversee the Equestrian Military with the soon to be Prince but during my investigation into the threat, I found something interesting. Princess Cadence has been using a spell on Captain Shining Armor saying that it was to help with his "Headaches" but I found no such spell that would cause the after effects that hers causes."

We turn down a nearby hallway and up some stairs. "Her spell causes his eyes to flash a bright green while stunning him and numbing his senses. I searched through all of the spell records, compendiums, and other manuals in search of any spell that would cause those effects but I found no such thing... Well, not exactly "No such thing", I found one spell. The spell was a dark magic spell made by a race called "Changelings." A few thousand years ago, Princess Celestia and Luna encountered those beings after they tried to invade the pre-Nightmare Moon Canterlot that was found in the Everfree."

He turns to me as we reach one of the tower rooms. More specifically, Cadence's room. "Your lover, Twilight Sparkle, was correct in her assumption to not trust Princess Cadenza. I found a spell that would cancel out any Changeling's camouflage spell. I was hoping that you would stand by me in case our assumption was correct." He says as he snaps.

"I had thought as much. It would explain her attitude," I say with a grin. Looks like Prince Blueblood really is as smart as Twilight. I guess he'd have to be in order to live up to his name as Prince.

"I've already received permission to test this from Aunt Luna. I just hope that our assumptions are incorrect, otherwise, the implications are..." He falls quiet before he shakes his head. "Are all of you ready?" I nod and he does the same as he opens Cadence's door.

We enter the room to find "Cadence" doing her makeup. "What?! Can't you see I'm busy?!" Cadence shouts as she slams her hand on her table.

Blueblood says nothing as he quickly pulls his wand out. It lights up in a bright cyan and a second later, a bright green flame overtakes Cadence. The flames travel up from her feet all the way to her head as she screams. Her voice shifts to a dual-toned voice that starts to laugh.

The flames turn to embers as Chrysalis stands there, clapping. "It seems my ruse was finally detected!" She says in a mirthful tone, her dual voices seeming to chuckle despite her stable tone. "It only took you a few weeks!" She taunts.

Her dark green hair flows to her shoulder, framing her dusky bronze face. Her bright green eyes are cat-like with their slitted pupils but they are bright and filled with life, seeming to glow with power. A black horn pierces from her forehead, seemingly broken and misshapen as it curves upward. Her black dress is segmented, leaving the sleeves unattached to the shoulderless dress.

She smiles brightly as she crosses her arms. "Hey, Cadence! They finally figured it out!" I hear her shout toward the bathroom.

I faintly hear someone reply, "Really? Was it Twilight and Arthur?!" Blueblood and I stand there in confusion as we faintly hear splashing. A few moments later, Princess Cadence walks out wearing nothing but a towel with Shining Armor standing behind her, looking over her shoulder. She turns to us with a smile. "Hey, Arthur."

"What is going on here?!" Blueblood demands.

"Well, my friend Chrysalis and her colony are a little starved at the moment so Shining and I are letting them feed off of our emotions for a little while to let them replenish their food supplies," Cadence says as she walks back into the bathroom.

Shining Armor walks into the room with a towel around his waist as he sits down on the bed. "Arthur, how's Twilight?" He asks as he rubs the back of his neck. "She's kind of avoiding me at the moment."

I just stand there in confusion before I just shake my head. Apparently, Cadence and Shining Armor are friends with the Queen of the Changelings. Not only that, Cadence isn't in trouble. Fuck it, they'll explain it in a moment anyway. "She's running herself ragged trying to get everyone to believe her that Cadence is that woman over there," I say as I point at Chrysalis.

"I have a name you know," She says as she sits back down in the chair. "I've heard of you, Arthur. Some of my Changelings in Tauros saw you fight that army a while back." She leans against the desk in front of her, finishing her makeup. "I also heard from Shining Armor that you've been training him for a while before you made a new form of magic."

I turn back to Shining. "So, what the fuck is going on?" I ask.

"Well... Cadence grew up in a town near the Changeling Hive and apparently, she knew Chrysalis growing up. Once she became an Alicorn, she pretty much has been helping them survive. I was freaked out at first but once she told me what was going on, I pretty much had to agree with her plan. Do you know what Changelings are?" He asks.

"I know about them, yeah. They eat love, right?" I ask

"Kind of, they eat emotions. Seeing as how Cadence is the Princess of Love, she pretty much said it was her job to help. Apparently, Chrysalis's colony has been going through some hard times so she's letting her harvest some of the emotions that show up during our wedding. She's also been letting her feed off of our love for each other. Sometimes, she feeds off of me and sometimes she feeds from Cadence," He says. Cadence then walks out of the bathroom in some clothing while brushing her hair. He looks over at Cadence and gestures to her. "She told Princess Celestia about it and the Princess said that if the Changelings came to Canterlot then they'd try to destroy the town so Princess Celestia said it was a threat upon Canterlot."

Wait, so this whole situation only happened because Celestia was being racist? Or was it well-founded? Are they under her Mind-Control or are they honestly trying to help her? I'd cast some Dispel Magic on them just in case but I don't want to dispel the barrier over Canterlot in case I'm right... "How do I know you aren't under her control?" I ask. "As far as I know, you could be lying." I cross my arms. "Tell me why I should believe you."

Blueblood nods as he says, "He's right. Why should we trust you?"

Cadence stares at us for a moment before she suddenly screeches. A bright green flame overtakes her body before she turns into a human-like black carapace covered human with a horn and bug wings. She charges toward Blueblood but he quickly draws his wand, blasting her in the chest with a spell that tears through her chest. Before he can turn to Chrysalis, her horn lights up and a bright green glow overtakes him.

He suddenly disappears before I can intervene and she quickly turns to me. My body glows a bright green before I cast a Dispel on my body, destroying the spell. I use "Soru" to appear next to her. Almost instantaneously, she fires a blast into my torso, tossing me across the room and slamming me through an armoire.

I quickly close my fist, covering my hand in ice. "Tobu Shigan: Aokiji!" I shout as I fire a frozen pellet of ice at her. It slams into her leg, freezing it solid and stopping her in her tracks as she tries to charge me.

She falls to the ground while reaching out toward Shining Armor. Her hand lights up in a green glow before the same glow appears on his forehead. Immediately, he screams in pain before he roars angrily. He quickly stands up and charges me. I push myself to my feet and rear my fist back before I drive it into his head, slamming him into the ground within a second.

Chrysalis shouts out in anger as tries to push herself to her feet. I just walk up to her and lift my foot into the air, driving it into the back of her head and stomp her head into the ground, knocking her out. I stand there for a moment, looking around the room at the two unconscious people before I sigh. I really need to stop this war before it starts.

I cover Chrysalis in a cocoon of ice and freeze her to the wall. I then freeze Shining Armor to the floor and I open a nearby window, climbing out of it.

Activating my Observation Haki, I try to find the entrance to the Crystal Caverns. It takes a few minutes but I eventually find the entrance. I disappear using "Kamisori" a second later as I make my way to the opening.

Finding Cadence with my Haki is the easy part. Opening the Crystal walls without harming her or the cave is the hard part. I guess I could just kick some holes in the wall and then pull away the remaining bits to save her. Or I could just cut through it with Rankyaku.

I rub the back of my head lightly as I try to find a way to safely get her out of there. I then shrug and walk up to the 10' thick wall before I make a sword out of ice. I cover the blade in Armament Haki before I slice through the wall multiple times. It only takes a swift kick to knock the wall down, leaving a human-sized doorway in the wall as I walk through.

"W-What?! W-Who's there?! Don't hurt me, please!" I hear Cadence shout. I look over at her and see that she has her eyes closed as she cowers.

Jesus, she's been through a lot... Her dress is in tatters and visible bruises and wounds can be seen. Multiple of the cuts seem to be infected and the bruises seem to have turned into welts and blisters. Her hair is dirty and covered in her own blood while her face is red and stained with tears.

"Cadence," I lightly say with a soft tone. As I walk over to her, I casually dodge a blast from Blueblood as he tries to ambush me.

She slowly opens her eyes as she stops cowering. "A-Arthur? Is that really you?" She asks as she looks at me. I nod and she gives me a look of apprehension before she turns to the hole in the wall. "I-I guess it would have to be you in order to cut through that wall, huh?" She shakily asks, trying to keep her emotions from flooding over. "Is it over?" She croaks.

"Well, there's still an army to worry about and I didn't kill Chrysalis yet but I'm planning to. Come on, let's get you out of here." I pick her up and walk over to a stunned Blueblood. "Let's get going, we need to warn the Princesses," I say as I walk through the hole in the wall.

He quickly follows me, asking, "How did you find us so quickly? It can't have been more than a few minutes since I disappeared!" He then shakes his head. "Nevermind. First things first, we need to get Cadence to a hospital before she dies of exhaustion. If you can carry her to the castle, I can teleport back to the castle to warn the Princesses."

I freeze in my tracks before I angrily turn to him. "Why the fuck didn't you do that earlier?" I ask.

He seems to freeze with me as he slaps his own head, crossing his arms afterward. "It... It never crossed my mind," He sighs. "I'll see you soon." He whips his wand as it glows and he disappears in a bright flash.

I stare at the spot he was in for a second before I angrily sigh. I swear, everyone who is that smart is fucking stupid in their own right. Twilight forgets she can teleport, Luna forgets she can teleport, and even Prince Blueballs forgets! I swear, if I ever find out how to teleport, I'll never walk again just to spite them.

I start walking to the cave entrance as I carefully watch Cadence. Every move I make seems to pain her, she must have some broken bones. I'll have to be very careful when getting her out of here.

"Arthur?" She quietly says as she looks up at me.

"Save your strength, okay?" I say as we reach the entrance.

"You do know I can walk, right?" She says as she slowly tries to pull herself from my grasp.

I quickly readjust my grip to force her to stop. "Like I said, save your strength. You'll need it. Besides, you'll need it to kick Chrysalis's ass," I say with a grin as I hop out of the hole. I use "Geppo" carefully as I make my way back to the city slowly.

She chuckles as she watches us fly. "If you weren't already with Twilight, I'd have tried to pick you up," She laughs before she starts coughing. "Strong, Brave, Smart, and not only that, handsome..." She falls quiet for a moment before she looks up at me. "You better treat her right or I'll cut your balls off," She plainly says as she glares at me.

I start laughing loudly as we crest the cliffs ridge into the castle garden. I land on the ground before I walk into the castle. The guards seem to be mobilizing as a platoon charges past us into the castle foyer. I follow them into the room and see Princess Celestia, Luna, Blueblood, and the Elements with Chrysalis and Shining next to them. Chrysalis seems to be restrained while Shining Armor has a bandage and a pair of handcuffs on his wrists.

I walk through the crowd to the Princesses just as they're about to say something, my appearance cutting them off. "Arthur!" Celestia says as she runs down to us. She immediately takes Cadence from me as she starts checking her wounds. "Blueblood told us about what happened. We arrested the two of them and suppressed their magic," Celestia says as her hands glow a bright yellow. The same glow then covers Cadence as some of her wound started to close up and disappear.

"Shining had nothing to do with it, he's under her spell," I say as I walk up to him. "He's as much of a victim as Cadence. We'll need him in order to fight off the coming invasion. Where are the soldiers I trained? And Spike too?" I ask as I turn to Luna.

"Spike is in your room looking for your weaponry whilst your soldiers are already on the outskirts of the town preparing to meet the army that approaches," Luna says as she dons her own armor and weapons. "It is about time something interesting happened to us," She says with a grin. "A shame that it happened on such a joyous day. Art thou ready for the coming battle?"

I open my mouth to say something before I'm cut off by Spike appearing in front of me with my swords. "Got your swords for you," He says as he hands them to me. "We need to get going. I could see the Changelings coming from your window"

I nod as I strap them to my waist. "As ready as ever. Twilight, you and the elements stay here with Cadence and the princesses while my soldiers and I fight off the army. If we die then it's your job to keep Equestria safe from them," I say as I walk up to her.

"What?! You expect us to stay here while you go and fight another war?!" Twilight shouts as she storms up to meet me. "Hell no! I'm going with you with or without your permission, I've been training for this!" She says as she turns to Spike. "For the past month, Spike has been teaching me how to fight." She turns back to me and gives me a glare before it turns soft. "Ever since you ended up in the hospital, I've been telling myself over and over again that you'd come back but time and time again, you either end up in the hospital again or in another situation that pulls you away from me. Well, no more! I'm helping you whether or not you like it!"

I stare at her for a moment longer before I smile. I lean down and kiss her on the lips for a second before I turn around. "Let's get going then, the army won't stop and wait for us," I say as I start walking to the castle doors.

Before I reach them, the doors slam open and a familiar face charges in. "Sir, the army has been apprehended," One of the soldiers from my squad says as he salutes.

I freeze in my tracks before I lightly shake my head. "Wait, what?" I ask.

"It is as I said, sir. The army has been defeated," he says as he gestures to the doorway. I walk past him and into the streets to find a few hundred scattered changeling bodies while my soldiers clean up the last few stragglers.

I stand there in shock, watching the 18 remaining soldiers from my squad as they expertly destroy the last of the resistance. As they beat them, the ones who finished fighting sheathe their weapons and walk back to the castle gates before they take a defensive position.

The Princesses, Blueblood, and the Elements follow me out while some of the soldiers come out of formation to see the fight. They all watch in shock as the last few soldiers are easily defeated before they all take formation in front of "Sir!" They all shout as they salute.

I just look at my soldiers in shock before I break out in a smile. "I trained you guys way to fucking well," I say as my smile widens. I then think of something. "Hey, Blueblood, use that spell on my "soldiers"," I say as I pull a sword out of its sheath. He looks at me before he nods. One by one, he casts the spell on all of the soldiers and they all pass the test.

After that, all of us just stand there looking at them with differing gazes. The Princesses are surprised and shocked, I'm slightly disappointed and proud at the same time. On one hand, my soldiers just decimated an army with several hundred soldiers and on another, I didn't get to fight.

"At ease," I say. They lower their stances and stand at attention. "First thing I have to say is, "Holy Shit, that's insane." And the next thing I have to say is that I'm going to be buying you guys a lot of booze tonight," I say with a smile. I turn to the Princesses and ask, "How 'bout that?"

Princess Luna looks disappointed that she didn't get to fight but Princess Celestia just pinches the bridge of her nose while sighing. "I should have known something like this would have happened," Celestia says with a groan as she shakes her head. She looks up at me and says, "I'm going to need a lot of alcohol in order to understand what just happened. Is the invitation open?"

I just start laughing loudly while some of my soldiers join in. At least my madness has spread into a collective. Otherwise, I'd have gone insane a while ago.

Author's Note

To be honest, I had no idea what to do about the whole wedding thing. I was going from idea to idea until I finally just said fuck it and chose this. Sorry if it's disappointing, I just want to move on from the Canterlot Wedding. I probably won't be able to start on another chapter for a while thanks to work and other obligations so another round of Sorry's once more.

I'm Back with a Brand New Rap!

What's up, fuckers! I'm back! A lot has changed, I've changed jobs, meds, and I even have a therapist now. So, hopefully, I'll get back to writing this story soon! But as it turns out, after a gene test, I was actually heavily resistant to every medication they prescribed me so they upped the dose, changed them, and now that I'm no longer working for a blood-sucking hell-pit, I'm actually improving!

My sister is out of my life at the moment because she's living with her boyfriend (Who I hate with a burning passion because of his 'Job' selling drugs) but at least my grandparent's are doing well thanks to it. Plus, I turned 21 today! I'm not gonna drink or anything, but it is an option!

Anyways, I'm gonna get back into MLP and all that, catch up on the story and write again. Sorry for the wait, but I'm back baby!

Sumboeshiet, out.

Chapter 1: Was Poppin' Moonie

Chapter 1.

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

I've been in the forest for maybe a week now, and the training is going well. As it turns out, using my powers is as easy as breathing, like seriously I can use my powers to travel through the ground and out of any nearby thing connected to it, much like when Eneru came out of that tree in the manga. I may have tipped off some of the nearby settlements to my power when a Giant Spider scared the shit out of me and I used "El Thor. to level a good mile of forest, considering it was only about the size of my hand that much power was definitely uncalled for. All of the attacks I can use are "1, 5 Million, 10, 20, 30, 50, 60 Million, 100, Max 200 Million Volt Vari", "Sango", and "El Thor". without the drums on my back, I can't really use his other attacks. I've started adding attacks from other anime into my move rosters as well, so far I have "Chidori", "Lightning Dragons Roar", and "Lightning Dragon's Iron Fist".

I've even made some attacks of my own, consisting of "Tazer-shot", "Electo-dome", "Rising Raiden", and "Fuse Breaker". Tazer-shot is a lower powered version of that Rail-gun move from that one anime I can't really remember. Electro-dome is when I use electricity and make a dome around myself (kind of self-explanatory). Rising Raiden is when I snap and create a small spark when the spark comes in contact with anything it explodes upward into a lightning bolt. Fuse Breaker is when I use Electro-dome and expand it outwards for a distance before letting all of the power out in an explosion of electricity. (It's also named after a fuse and a breaker, aren't I clever.)

With Zoro's Haramaki all the progress I've really made with his powers is his Haki, and that's because I already know how to use it thanks to his prior training. Without a sword, I pretty much only have his insane strength and endurance. Using Zoro's Ability to use Haki and the power of the Goro Goro fruit, I can sense the Electromagnetic Waves that every single thing in this forest, gives off. I can feel the empty Dragon Den to the West, where a Dragon's horde rests; to the Bees in the Beehive about 30' to my left. It's an incredible feeling... So this is why Eneru thought he was a god. It's because he could literally hear and see everything in a several hundred mile radius! I can even feel Zecora in her hut, about 10 Miles to the west. I can probably run with that whole feeling and play it off as if I'm a Guardian of the Forest or something.

I've traveled to the Castle of the Two Sisters and to be honest, It's really depressing. There are remnants of a castle that stand show a great amount of wear and tear, not from the weather but from fighting. How long did the battle between Celestia and Nightmare Moon really take because this is just ridiculous, there's armor and spears scattered everywhere they're too rusted for me to grab otherwise I would have used "Gloam Paddling" to make myself a sword.

Pulling out my phone I look at the time, 11:29 am, and then the Sun; or rather lack thereof; I discern that it's about time for the story to begin. Walking over to a nearby tree I phase into it and activate my Observation Haki. Feeling 6 human aura's about 2 miles from my position I travel to them in about 5 seconds. Oh, it looks like we're at the part where Pinkie sings about laughing. Waiting until they start rolling on the floor laughing, I poke my head out and ask "Hey kids, wanna see a dead body!?" Immediately they all start screaming at the disembodied head talking to them. Laughing like a hyena I fall out of the tree nearest to Pinkie Pie. Finally calming down I look up at the Main 6 this is what I see.

All of them are about 5'2"-5'4" so at least I'm taller that someone. Now all of them are on guard, looking at me as if I'm a threat to them or something. I better say something to calm them down. "I'm just kidding about the dead body if you're wondering. I'm just your neighborhood friendly homeless guy who lives in this forest. If you're wondering about the path to the castle is blocked by a very flamboyant serpent named Steven. If you help him, I'm sure he'll help you across the river he's currently stirrin' up. After that, there's the matter of the bridge that's gone out, but I'm sure that the rainbow-haired girl can fix that by tying it back up." Standing back up I brush myself off. "I'm here to make sure that those are the only things you guys have to deal with." As I finish I gesture for them to continue their walk.

"And just how do we know you're here to help us, Huh!? You could be a spy for Nightmare Moon!" Rainbow Dash shouts.

Deadpanning at her I turn away from them to the trees in their path. Charging my power I yell "Lightning Dragons Roar!" and Decimate the landscape between us and the river. "Trust me lady, If I wanted you all dead you'd be dead already." Patting the now shocked Rainbow Dash on the shoulder, I turn away from the group and begin my walk.

"That was so AWESOME! How did you do that!? Are you some kind of Superhero or something?" I hear from Pinkie Pie. From my right, I can hear Twilight Sparkle going on and on about how it's impossible for anyone to be able to do what I just did without a wand. (Huh, so that's how this world does magic.)

"I'm gonna go with, or something." I hear from Applejack.

"Correctomundo my Cowboy hat wearing compatriot," I say as I turn to her, walking backward. "Superhero's rescue people and ask for no reward. I rescue people and ask for something later." As we reach the water of the river, everything seems safe. "I'm gonna go look around and see if there are any other things that wanna kill you. Bye!" I wave as I walk away. Walking away I hear the whole Rarity schpiel thing going on.

Activating my Observation Haki I don't feel anything nearby that can hurt them other than a Manticore, but I think it's the same one that Fluttershy "saved" so I think we're good. Feeling them get on Steven's back, they make it across safely. Phasing into a nearby tree I make my way to the bridge and wait for them. "Yo!" I call as they come near.

"I thought we left your butt back at the river." Rainbow Dash sasses.

Flipping her off I turn back around and Phase back into the ground, making my way across the chasm into the castle. Looking around I see that Nightmare Moon isn't here yet. I wonder if I have time to make some traps... Nah I probably don't I can hear Rainbow talking to that Shadow-Bolt spirit thing. As the Mane 6 approach the "Elements" I make my way to a nearby wall and sit down, waiting for my time to strike. Zoning out, I wait until Nightmare Moon shows up before I make myself known again.

Hearing Nightmare Moon-butts evil laughter, I walk up behind her and throw my arm over her shoulder, Laughing with her. "Ahahaha *sigh*... What are we laughing about?" I look around at everyone, they look just as confused as I do. Looking at her I see this.

"Who do you think you are, touching me so casually? I shall have you beheaded!" Nightmare Moon Threatens, shoving me off of her.

"I'm the Guardian of those who enter this forest, and you my friend are fried. "1 Million Volt Vari!"" I shout as I shock Nightmare Moon into submission... wait what? I was expecting more of a fight from her but right now she's just twitching on the ground as she regains control of her muscles. Looking at Twilight I ask "Can you hurry up with the Elements? She's not gonna be down for long." As I finish I feel something pick me up and throw me through a nearby wall.

"How dare you!!! I shall slay you where you stand!" looking at the Mane 6 she threatens them with, "After him, You will all die!" Charging at me as I stand she pulls out her sword and swings it at me, Observation Haki, don't fail me now! Dodging all of her sword strikes, I start backing up towards the room where the Elements are. Allowing myself to slip up I'm "stabbed" in the stomach. Falling over I hear all of the girls gasp. Making a show of it, I reach towards the Mane 6 as Nightmare Moon grabs my hair and lifts me off the ground, preparing to behead me. "Now, Watch what happens to all who oppose me!"

As she swings her sword I yawn and activate my Armament Haki to cover my neck. Dropping me as her sword clangs off my neck, I stand back up and yawn again. "Really? You thought Stabbing me in the stomach once would stop me? Bitch Please." Pulling a quarter out of my right pocket I put it between my thumb and the side of my index finger. "Tazer-Shot!" I shoot my quarter into her stomach and launch her out of the building.

Turning towards the Mane 6, "You figure it out yet? or do you need some more time?" Scratching my back I hear Nightmare Moon coming back. Twilight nods and I set my plan in motion. Nightmare Moon tries to tackle me as I phase through her. "1 Million Volt Vari." stunning her again she falls to the ground as the Mane 6 shoot her with the Rainbow Beam.

Nightmare Moon is lifted into the air as she screams "NOOOO!" Moving under her I put my arms out, ready to catch Luna as she falls... Nailed it, slowly lowering Luna to the ground I see that her overall style stayed the same, the only thing is, she's shorter. She's probably about 6'5" or so. Holy shit, she's beautiful...

Lightly humming (this song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kel-7OwwTSI) I hold her head on my lap until she wakes up. "Good Morning Princess, I think someone wants to talk to ya." As I finish she sits up and looks at the approaching Princess Celestia.

"Indeed." Standing up, I walk to the other side of the room and sit down. I didn't expect myself to feel melancholic about the situation seeing the to two of them meet... It kind of reminds me of my sister back home. She was the only real family I had growing up and we kind of fell apart when she got into hardcore drugs, Meth, Speed you name it she's done it. She got into some crime family the last time I talked to her, and that was about 2 years ago... I just wish that she and I had settled our differences before I jumped aboard the new-life wagon. Oh well, I'll think about that later.

Slowly I look up at the approaching Princesses and decide to put up a front. "Sup there ladies, How are you this fine day?" I ask, not really caring.

"I suppose I have you to thank for helping my student, and for helping me gain my beloved sister back?" Princess Celestia inquires, The Mane 6 start approaching them from behind, they're probably going to bombard me with questions now or something. "My student said that you used Magic without a wand? How is it that you do this?" Of course...

Sighing, I stand back up and bow at the waist and reply, "I've got no reason to tell you, so I won't. Just know that I don't intend on using it against you or your reign." Standing straight, I continue, "If you leave me alone I'll leave you alone. I can sense everything throughout this forest, from the Manticore Pride 20 miles northwest to the Hydra Den in the swamp to the southeast. I watch over anyone and everything that enters this forest, not for their sake, but for my own. If you wish to talk to me again just send someone into the forest and call out for Arthur Mayhew. Goodbye Princess."

Phasing into the wall I travel to the Dragon Den I mentioned earlier and focus on the conversation I'm sure the Princesses and Mane 6 are having right now. "Arthur Mayhew.... I wonder who he is? If he's strong enough to fight Nightmare Moon without any effort, he may be a powerful ally as long as we don't do anything to dissuade him, that is... Well, my student-"

As soon as I hear her change topic I change focus to the Horde that lays before me. Golden Treasures, Crowns, Jewels, Bits, You name it and it's here. Searching through it I find an Iron Sword, slightly rusted with age. Grabbing some nearby gold I use "Gloam Paddling." to melt down the gold and iron to create a bo staff similar in size and shape to the one Eneru used in the anime. Using the rest of the gold and jewels I create a large throne and sit down. "And Now... I wait for something interesting to happen."

Chapter 14: Hearth's Warming Surprise

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

*Vrrrt Vrrrrrt* "A Monster is Coming!" (I know, I've already prepared!) I think as I check the time, 6:43. Twilight and her friends should be doing that whole "Play on the true meaning of Hearth's Warming" thing. I look down at the snow pooling around the base of my feet and I shuffle them a bit to get to the grass underneath. (There. Should be stable enough for a foothold... I hope Twilight won't be mad at me for missing the play, she was excited about it. Hell, she even saved me a seat.) A grin slowly appears on my face as I lift a sword into my mouth.

I shakily take a deep breath and steel myself as the portal opens. A man gently steps out with a practiced grace, his white shoes are the first thing I see. As more of the man appears, a sweat overtakes my brow as I recognize who he is. His pure white suit is reminiscent of the one I had gotten just a year earlier. His white top-hat and mask are slowly pulled off of his face as he speaks in a slow tone, "Make this interesting for me." His long, curly black hair drapes just below his shoulders and a small lock falls in front of his bright citrine eyes. His hawk-like gaze appraises me with slight disgust and boredom.

"Rob Lucci, I presume?" I ask, even though I know who he is.

"You've heard me?" I nod. "Then you cannot be allowed to live," He says as he slowly starts walking toward me with his hands in his pockets. I sheath all 3 of my swords and I throw them to the side. He looks at me with interest and asks, "Why are you getting rid of your only defense, are you giving up?"

"Not at all. I'm challenging myself," I twist my back and pop my neck. "For the whole fight, I won't use my Devil Fruit ability. I hope you'll stay to this parameter as well." I pop my knuckles and start stretching as a warm-up.

Lucci looks over my figure as he stands there. "I wouldn't need to use it anyway." He continues casually strolling toward me.

I stand back up and I stick my hands in my pockets as I start walking toward him. I keep my eyes on him as his gaze gets harder and harder. Soon, we're standing face to face, waiting for the other to begin the fight. I reach up to my hood and I throw it up onto my head. "Shigan," Lucci says as his finger flies toward my torso.

I quickly use "Tekkai" and block the attack as I'm thrown backward by the force. As I skid I see Lucci disappear, I activate my Haki and see him coming at me from the left. I use "Kamisori" to get into the air and I pull my leg back, "Rankyaku!"

I quickly swing my leg in his direction, causing the blade to almost hit him. He uses "Soru" at the last moment, quickly dodging the attack. As he stands a few feet away from me, I land and he starts talking. "You know Rokushiki? Then perhaps this might actually be a challenge." He smirks a bit, probably due to bloodlust. He disappears and I follow suit. We clash a few time before he jumps away from me, "Rankyaku! He shouts.

A large blade of air rushes toward me and I slide on the ground out of the way. I point my fist at him with my pointer held underneath my thumb. I flick my finger forward 5 times and shout, "Tobu Shigan: Bachi!" I shoot 5 bullet-sized air pellets at him, 2 of them hit but he dodges the rest.

I quickly stand up and see that he's disappeared again. I begin searching around for him, "Too slow." I hear from below me. I look down in time to see his finger dig into my chest. "Shigan," I quickly step back before his finger can pierce my heart. As I step back, he kicks toward me, "Rankyaku: Sen." A line of air shoots toward me and pierces my abdomen just below my ribs.

I cough up some blood and I use "Soru" to get into his face. I grab his shoulders and cover my forehead with Armament Haki just as I slam my forehead into his. He recovers quickly and he knees me in my wounded stomach. I ignore the pain and I let go of him as I fall backward. I lift both of my legs up quickly and shout, "Rankyaku: Hyakurai." Two large blades of air fly toward him, he barely dodges one while the other catches him in the chest, launching him backward.

I quickly sprint up to him and throw a Superman Punch that is blocked by an Armament Haki covered face. I quickly pull my stinging fist backward as I see another Haki-Infused punch fly into my face. I fly backward on the floor and skid for a bit before I use the momentum to flip myself onto my feet. "Soru!" Once more he disappears. I quickly activate my Haki and see that he is behind me with both of his fists pointed toward me. "Rokuogan!" the pain that comes after almost kills me as I feel all of my inner organs pop like cherries. "Rankyaku: Sen!"

I quickly jump into the air and bypass the large burst of air that flies past my head as I backflip. I use the momentum of my flip to throw a kick into his chest, "Rankyaku!" I manage to slice into his chest and he's propelled away from me into the nearby forest. I activate my Haki and see him standing up and aiming a closed fist in my direction. I use "Soru" and I quickly enter the forest behind him. I stand there silently waiting for him to move but at the moment he's just standing there looking for me. (Does. Does he not have Observation Haki!?)

"Where the hell is he?" I hear him whisper. (He doesn't!) He slowly stands up from his crouching position and he walks back into the clearing. "Come out you bastard!" He shouts.

(I'm not about to let this chance slip!) I silently use "Soru" to appear behind him and I place both of my fists against his back. "Rokuogan!" I blast his insides with the attack and he flies forward. As he skids against the ground, I quickly use "Kamisori" to appear above him and I press both of my fists against his prone figure.

I'm about to use another "Rokuogan" when he kicks his legs up, knocking my hands away. He quickly jumps to his feet and shouts, "Shigan: Madara!" barraging my body with a flurry of blows from both of his hands. I'm about to fall on my face when he grabs me by my throat, lifting me into the air. "Shigan." The blow pierces one of my lungs.

He lets me go and I fall to the ground. As I lay there bleeding out, I slowly force myself to stand back up. I slowly make it back to my feet and I take a fighting stance. He looks at me with a vicious grin, "Still alive?" I nod. "Soru." Once more he disappears from my sight. I hastily activate my Haki and see he's coming from my left.

I use "Kamisori" to get above him. As his head turns to look up at me, I bring an Armament Haki covered fist down on his head. He's slammed into the ground with enough force to form a crater beneath him. As he pushes himself up, I use "Geppo" to keep myself in the air as I shout, "Rankyaku: Gaicho!" I use both of my arms to launch a large bird-shaped blade of air the size of a house toward him.

Before he can react, the blade slices through him and bisects him. I fall to the ground and start sliding down the sides of the crater. As I hit the bottom, I look over to the body of Lucci and see that he's still alive. I slowly pull myself over to him and he's trying to speak. I don't let him say anything as I press a finger to his head and use "Shigan" to put him out of his misery.

I slowly force myself to my feet and I start making my way out of the crater. As I stand at the top, I walk over to my swords and put them in their places on my hip. "Sorry Twi, I won't be able to make it to your play," I say in a low tone. I slowly shuffled my way through the forest, putting pressure on the most grievous of my injuries. I slowly yet surely find my way out of the forest and into the field nearest to the Ponyville Hospital.

As I approach the front door, I'm grabbed by a two people as they take my arms and wrap them around their own shoulders. "What happened here!?" One of the doctors asks. They lead me over to a nearby gurney as the doctors start working on keeping me alive.

"What's your name?" The man on my right asks as he checks my pulse. "A little slow for someone so heavily injured. What did this to you?"

"Arthur Mayhew. I was in a fight," I plainly say.

"You were in a fight?! With what!?" He asks.

"An Assassin," I say with a grin. I can feel myself start to pass out as I feel the EMT shake me. I pass out and fall back against the gurney with a thud.

(Time-Skip)

"Sir? Sir, are you awake?" I hear a woman ask. I wake up and cover my eyes as the blinding light pours in through the blinds of the window. "Ah! You're awake!" I hear some papers shuffle before I hear her disapprovingly say, "Hmm, you're awake before schedule too. You should try to get some rest, I'll let the person waiting outside know you're awake." She leaves the room before I can get a glance at her.

I sit there for a little before I look down at the bandages wrapped around my torso. I pull the blanket off of me as I stand up. No pain either, so that's good, they may have me hopped up on drugs though. I walk over to the nearby bathroom and I take a piss, which is filled with blood. (Okay, that's definitely bad. I guess he pierced my kidney when he used "Rankyaku: San.") I hear someone enter the room and gasp, "He's not here!" I hear someone shout.

"In the bathroom!" I shout back. I hear people walk around the room for a bit until I hear someone knock on the door. "Occupodo!" I scream at the person behind the door.

"Arthur are you alright!?" I hear a familiar voice shout.

"Yeah, I'm alright! Pissing blood but other than that I'm fine! How're you Discord?" I shout to the man behind the door. Once I finish, I walk out and see Discord standing there with hastily donned clothing that seems to be falling off a bit. "Pull up your pants."

He looks down at his pants and pulls them up before fixing his belt. "I heard about you being in the hospital and I rushed over here after taking care of Fluttershy's animals. What happened to you?" He says as he looks at the bandages on my chest and limbs.

"Got in a fight. Killed the guy. You know how it is with people like me. So, Fluttershy's animals?" I ask.

"Oh! I've been taking care of her friends while she and her friends are in Canterlot throwing that play of theirs. She- Hey, don't change the subject!" He shouts as he walks over to me. "What the hell did this to you?"

I sigh as I walk over to my bed and lie down on it. "Rob Lucci. I got into a fight with him and got some preconceived notion that I had to fight him using his own skills. I almost fucking died because of it," I say as I reach up and rub my eyes. "Next time something like this happens I'm just gonna nuke the area until the thing is dead."

"Well... As long as you're alive I guess. What are you going to tell Twilight? She's going to be back next week," He reminds.

"She's not going to hear about this incident. I should be back up in a few days so once I'm healed, we will never talk about this again. Understand?" I forcefully inquire.

"But, what about-?" He says before I cut him off.

"Understand!?" I ask as I glare at him. He just sighs and nods. "Good." I lean back against the bed and get settled on the stiff sheets. "So, you and Fluttershy, huh?"

He blushes before scratching his cheek. "W-We've been thinking about it... Maybe once she gets used to me a little more I'll ask her out. How's living with Twilight been treating you?" The conversation goes on and on for the next few hours before he decides to leave. "Well, it's about time for the animals to be fed. It's good to see you, even if you're in a hospital.

"It's good seeing you too. We should get together sometime," I say with a grin.

"We should." As he leaves, he looks back at me before snapping. "Just something to remember me by." He snaps once more and nothing happens. "I just sent a letter to Twilight and her friends about how your dumb ass managed to put yourself in the hospital by getting into a fight. Good luck!" He says as he charges out of the door.

"Oh, you Mother Fucker!" I shout as I stand back up. I try charging to the door but pain flares up in my wounds and I fall to the ground. A few nearby nurses lift me back to my feet and place me back on my bed. "Next time I see that asshole I'm gonna put my foot so far up his ass that he's gonna taste my toes on his tongue," I whisper to myself as I lie on my bed. I reach over for the nearby remote and I start flipping through the channels. "Might as well get comfortable."

(Time-Skip)

"You two-bit son of a bitch! When I got the letter that you were in the hospital I rushed down here and found you doing push-ups even though your body is torn to shreds!? Are you insane?! Get back in that bed and lie down or Celestia help me, I will tear your testicles off and replace them with your eyes!" Twilight shouts as she pulls me to my feet. I quickly lie back down on the bed and sit there like she just shot my puppy. "If you even think of doing that again I will hurt you so badly that you'll be in here even longer!"

"Sorry..." I weakly say as I look down at my feet. "I just got tired of sitting around, you know? It's like when you get bored and you reshelve the library for fun. I'm only trying to keep myself occupied until I'm healed, you understand right?"

She sighs for a bit while rubbing her eyes. "You're like a child sometimes I swear." I slowly but begrudgingly nod as I realize that I am a bit childish. "Be glad I love you, otherwise we wouldn't even be talking right now." She walks over to a nearby chair and pulls it over to my bed. "How long are you in here for?"

"I have about one more day before they'll let me out. After that it'll be self-healing, you know like healthy food, rest, and replacing my own bandages. One of my lungs got pierced during the fight so they'll need to keep an eye on that while it heals but besides that, the only other terrible injury I have is a bruised kidney," I say as I lean against the bed.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I look down at the message that appears. "Congratulations! You are one of the many survivors of this year's challenge! Out of 150 people, 100 of you survived due to the forced lower difficulty! I couldn't keep the same difficulty as last year's challenge due to the low survival rate so I'm lowering the challenge until I build up a sufficient number of contestants! See you next year, Jack." I just stare at the message for a bit until my phone goes off again. "P.S. You can receive your package by texting this number. Just state what you want and you will receive your gift. Merry Christmas, Jack."

"Fucking asshole," I say as I put my phone in my pocket.

"What's that thing?" Twilight says with an inquisitive look.

"Oh, I never told you about my phone!" I pull it back out of my pocket and start showing her the features. "It's like a wall phone but better. It can take pictures and record video as well as make calls... I think? I don't really know if it can call phones here but it used to be able to make calls." I look over at the phone on the wall next to me. "What's the number for that wall phone?"

Twilight stands up and reads off the number for me. "05-555-0012." I dial the number and place the phone against my ear. It starts ringing and after a few seconds, the phone on the wall rings. Twilight picks the phone up and asks, "Hello?"

The sound of her voice echoes through my phone and I grin. "Hey, boss!" I say in a Pink-Guy impression. I see Twilight jump a bit at the sound of my voice.

She hangs up the phone and quickly walks over to me, taking my phone from my hand. "What else can this thing do?!" She shouts as she starts trying to unlock the screen.

"This is gonna be a long day..."

(Time-Skip)

"I really hate hospitals," I say as Twilight and I leave the hospital for hopefully the last time.

"We know. Next time you get in a fight like that just beat the guy, okay?" Twilight says as she loops her arm around mine. I'm really glad I'm out of the hospital, now I can give Twilight the gift I've been working on since Nightmare Night.

"I have something for you by the way. I left it back at the Library so we should probably go get it," I say as I start leading us back home. (I hope she didn't find it, I want it to be a surprise.)

"Oh, you mean the Spell Compendium you bought me?" I look at her in surprise. "You hid it on one of my shelves still in its wrapping, did you really think I wouldn't find it?"

"Nah, I knew you would find it. I just didn't expect for you to find it this week. I've been moving it from section to section for the past four months. The fact that you didn't find it sooner shows that you haven't been checking your books lately. I guess I'm just that good," I say as I wrap my arm around her.

She smiles and shoves me lightly before nestling into my hug. "You're an idiot sometimes."

"At least I'm your idiot," I say with a wide smile on my face.

Not a chapter, just an update on my current situation and shit.

I'd say I'm sorry for being gone for so long, but I've been having to deal with some heavy shit the past few years and I haven't (And I'm still not) been dealing with my depression or anything the right way. Back when I was about 9, I lost a cousin that was about my age to Pneumonia, she was my favorite cousin and really the only one I could talk to about personal shit growing up, like how my mom had Breast Cancer since I was about 1 and how my dad was never home because he was working on the rigs.

Around 11, my dad was diagnosed with Leukemia and at about 12, my mother died due to her own battle. I found her body on the ground next to her Oxygen machine, I thought she was alive and tried to wake her up while my sister called an ambulance. And when I thought life couldn't get any worse, my father passed two months later.

And not even 2 years later, my sister started getting into drugs and started ruining my life as I grew. At the time, we were being raised by my grandparents and instead of being a decent human being, she would scream, rage, break things, and basically destroy our house in a blind rage while looking for money for drugs. Whenever she was mad, she'd take it out on either my 70-year-old grandparents or me whenever she wasn't breaking into our rooms or the safe for money or things to sell.

I basically watched my sister kill herself for years, get better for a period of a week, then dive right back into her self-destructive bullshit. Hell, I'm still dealing with it. Add that onto two shitty jobs that don't pay enough and over-work me, bills I can hardly afford, and a suicide attempt under my belt, I honestly lost interest in the things I used to love. It's boring and monotonous on most days and I'm honestly at the point where even suicide isn't worth it.

Why off myself and hurt my family? But also, why live if the same boring shit is going to happen every day? It's wake up at 4 am, stay in bed until 10, don't eat, take my pills (Sometimes), wait until my shift and work the first one, go to work again until about 12, and sleep from 2 to 4 am. Rinse and repeat.

I'm going to try and get back into writing and shit but if I don't, I'm truly sorry for the people who like my story.