Chapter 13: Heil Musckles

(Thoughts)
"Attack Names"

"13,901, 13,902, 13,903," Twilight and I count together. Spike is on top of me lifting his own barbell.

I continue doing push-ups until I feel my arms are about to give out underneath me. "Might wanna get off of me, Spike." He quickly steps off and I collapse onto the ground in pain. I slowly stand back up and walk over to the weights on the metal rack underneath Twilight's balcony. "I'm all for you joining in my training but when you asked me to show you how to work out my way I thought you'd join in," I state to Twilight.

I look over to Spike and see that he's taking a break to drink some water. "The whole reason why I'm joining you today is that I'm tired of my brother sending me letters asking me to send him a copy of your training regimen. When he heard about your trip to Tauros he was shocked to hear about what you did. I guess he wants to train his soldiers to be as strong as you," she plainly states. She stretches a bit and then looks over the weights. "Besides, I don't think I'd ever be able to carry something like that."

"I didn't think I'd be able to lift anything like that when I started but look at me now," Spike says as he walks over to a utility bench. He lies down before nodding to me. I walk over to the weight racks and pull off a few hundred pound ankle weights before walking over to him and strapping them to his ankles. He starts doing a Dragon Flag and he rests in that position for a while.

"It's probably not hard for the two of you but I've never even lifted a weight in my life. I'm okay where I am at the moment. The moment I choose to train with you two is the moment Rainbow Dash stops watching you two from the bushes." I hear someone squeak and I hear the bush being rustled. I look over and see two bright blue wings sticking out of the bush before two hands stick up and pull them back into the bush.

"Yeah... I'm not gonna let you send him that regimen though," I say as I walk over to the nearest weight bench. I begin racking my weights on it. The weights I use are similar to the ones Zoro used in his training. AKA person sized weights that are way too big for anyone else. I pick up the 50-ton dumbbell with my right arm and I start doing curls.

"Why not?" Twilight asks. I keep count in my head as I look up at her.

"Because I worked hard to make my training regimen and I want to keep it close to my heart. The only way I'd allow someone else to use it is if I was personally training them myself, look at Spike." We look over and see that his legs are starting to shake from the weights on his ankles. "Keep it up, you have a long way to go to reach my record!" I shout to him.

"Shut up!" I hear him shout in a strained tone.

"Well, then why don't you train the guards yourself? It would save time and you could see if they're trustworthy or not," she says.

(I could probably do that but then I'd have to kill them.) I sarcastically think. The only reason why I'm not training the guards is that I'm waiting for Twilight to become a Princess then she'd have her own personal guard group down here in Ponyville. (With all of the monster attacks, I could probably talk the Princess into sending some guards down here to be a Monster Hunter squad and then I could train them to keep Twilight and the rest of the town safe from attack if I'm ever gone or something...) I reach up with my left hand and I slap my face. "You're completely right..."

A proud grin makes its way to her face and she chuckles a bit. "I usually am in this relationship," she cockily says as she walks over and kisses my cheek. "Besides, you need the interaction with people. The only other person I've seen you talk to besides Spike, My friends, and the guy at the game store was Pipsqueak."

"Hey, I have friends!" I shout.

"Oh yeah? Who?" She asks. I start thinking through the people. (There's... No, he hates me now. What about?... No, they only like me because I buy food from them. How about?... Nope, they only like me for my muscles.). Once Twilight sees that I realize that I don't have any friends, she says, "See? You need more friends, Arthur."

"I'll get on it once I'm done training with Spike. We still have a long way to go. Right, Spike!?" I shout over to him. I hear him scream and fall in shock.

"I think he may have just broken something!" Twilight shouts as she runs over to her possibly injured brother.

"It's just a scratch, Twilight. I've had way worse," He says as he gets up. "I think I'm gonna take a break for a bit. I'm going back inside to refill my water bottle, want anything while I'm inside?" He asks me.

"Once I'm done with these reps, I'll go back in for a bit. You just take a break," I say. I look over at him and see him nod as he takes off his weights and puts them back. I turn away from him and focus on my own workout.

"This'll be fun! You like training Spike, right?" I nod. "So, wouldn't it be fun training a few more people?"

"Probably, but I don't want them leaving Ponyville. I'm not about to let the Equestrian Military learn all of my secrets." Twilight follows Spike into the house.

About an hour later, I finish my reps and make my way inside. As I wipe myself down with a rag, I hear Twilight come down to me. "Hey! I sent a letter to the Princess. She said she should be able to send some soldiers from both the Solar Knights and the Lunar Knights. She seems very excited, I've never gotten a letter back that quickly from either of them. Here, these two are for you." She looks down to the two letters in her hands and she hands them to me.

I clear my throat and read, "Dear Arthur, I do not know what possessed you to do this but I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep you interested in training my Knights. I'm sure my Sister feels the same way. She should be sending a letter with the one I'm sending. I hope to see you soon, Celestia. Hmm, I guess she wants me to train her guards."

I place the letter under my armpit and I open the other one. "Train my guards to pay me back for the prank you pulled on Nightmare Night." I look at both sides of it and I even hold it up to the light to see if there was more to it. "I guess she was mad that I kept calling her Moon-Butt."

"There may also be the fact that when she was supposed to take all of the candy from the kids, you started eating it all to make sure she couldn't take any," Twilight bluntly says.

"No, I'm just gluttonous, that wasn't a prank." I look at her before I break out laughing, "Yeah, that was a dick move. I totally owe her for that one. I'm still sick as hell from that and that was last year," I say with a grin.

"Yo, there are a few more letters coming!" I hear Spike shout. I look up and feel a few pieces of paper hit my face as he throws them at me.

"Fucking asshole!" I shout upstairs as a letter hits me in the eye. Twilight keeps trying to catch them as they fall but she misses a few. I quickly take them from her and read through them. "So each of these is the candidates that signed onto the program? What fucking program, I still haven't even scouted them out!? Twilight, send her a letter saying I'll pick them out myself. Just have them train and I'll pick them out when I get there."

"Alright, but when are you going to leave?" She asks.

"Right now... Actually, let's wait until after we get some lunch, who else is hungry?" I ask. Twilight makes a noise of confirmation while Spike raises his hand. "To Sugarcube Corner because Pinkie gave me a coupon I want to get rid of!" I shout as I take a dramatic pose. I charge upstairs and change from my shorts into a remake of Zoro's old outfit from the first arc.

Twilight lightly facepalms with a grin on her face while Spike jumps off the second story balcony. I walk over to the hook where I keep my swords and I attach them to my hip as we leave the house. "She better have Banana Nut Muffin's or I swear I'm gonna put one of these up her-"

"Arthur!" Twilight shouts.

(Time-Skip)

"~Welcome to Canterlot City where the air smells nice but the people are shitty~" I sing as I walk down the street. Twilight and Spike chose to stay home after lunch thanks to Rarity showing up and Sugarcube Corner and her asking for some help on a project. "~Fuuuuuuck you," I point in a random direction with my hand that's resting on my blades. "And you," I point in another direction. "Not you though you're probably cool~," I say as I walk past a woman who's pushing a stroller.

I reach up with my other hand and take a bite out of my Peanut-Butter and Banana Chocolate-Chip Waffle Sandwich. "Jesus, when Pinkie said she knew of a great food combination I didn't think she'd make the best thing ever."

"Halt!" I hear someone shout. I don't stop walking because they probably don't mean me. "I said, Halt!" I hear again. I turn toward the guards who shouted and see they are walking up to me.

I look at the two female guards and ask "Why? I haven't done anything wrong that I know of."

"Do you have a permit for those weapons?" She asks.

"Nope," I say as I accentuate the P with a pop.

"Then I'm afraid we'll have to take you in sir. Please, follow us," The one with on the left says.

"No thanks," I say as I begin to walk away.

I hear the two guards draw their blades and I hear one of them say, "You will come with us now or we will be authorized to use lethal force." I turn back around and look at the two guards. "I will have you know that I'm being trained by none other than Arthur Mayhew himself. I will not hold back." I hear the one on the right say.

Oh shit, this just got interesting. Apparently, she's been trained by me! It's only been a month since I stopped that war, I knew people knew of me but to actually meet someone trying to use my name to scare someone? I fucking love this chick right now. "I don't give a shit about who trained you. I'm sure you're garbage with a sword." I reach down and unhook my swords from my hip. I set them on the ground and I pop my neck. "I'll whip your ass without them," I say as I pop my knuckles.

"Are you sure you wish to do this?" The one on the left says. The one on the right ignores all protocol as she charges toward me. I quickly take a Muay Thai stance. I won't use any of my skill on the guards, just my own skills from home. She raises the sword high above her head and I use that overexaggerated move to move within her reach. She brings the sword down and I move my head between her arms. I quickly pull my head back and tear the sword from her hands, she quickly grabs onto my shoulders and tries to head-butt me. I move my head to the side and her head hits the side of my neck.

I move my hands up and grab her head, pulling her head down to my knee. I drive my knee into her nose and she falls to the floor. Her friend sees this and she slowly walks up to me, obviously using her head in this fight. As she circles me, I bring my foot up and stomp on the head of the guard on the floor to make sure she's unconscious. The guard uses that moment to thrust her sword at me, I quickly duck to the floor and roll forward into her guard. I twist my body toward the ground as I stand and I pull it up in an uppercut that lands just below her chin. She quickly falls to the ground, unconscious.

"Man, it's been a while since I've used Muay Thai... Maybe I can teach the guards how to use it in case they lose their swords," I say as I walk over to my swords. I loop them around my hip and I look at the two unconscious ladies. (I really should have just gone with them.) I think as I look at the scared people around me. "They started it!" I shout to them. I obviously started it.

I lean down and lift both of the women onto my shoulders. I make my way to the castle as stealthily as I can, only being spotted once. As I approach the main gate, the guards surround me. "Halt!" I hear one shout. "What is the meaning of this!?"

"These two shit heads attacked me because I had swords on my hip. I started the fight, I won't lie. You should probably take them to the infirmary," I say as I lay them on the ground. Two other guards charge up and grab the two of them from me. "I'm here to talk to your princesses about training you guy-," That's as far as I get when the other ones charge toward me. I quickly unsheath one of my swords and I block 5 blades with it. "You sure you wanna do this?" I ask threateningly.

"You're under arrest for assaulting a guard!" The one that stayed behind shouts. I guess he's a higher up. You know what, I'm gonna use this chance to find my trainee's. I'm gonna fight through the castle and I'm gonna whip their asses. If I don't find any guards worth training I'll call off the training in general. I reach down and unsheath the rest of my swords, quickly putting them in their place.

"Let's see how you guys handle stress," I say as I push their swords off of me. I quickly dodge an attack from the back and I bring my pommel down on the head of the offending guard. Another tries to use his spear as a javelin, throwing it toward me. I slice it into pieces and I charge toward the group of guards, ready to whip their shit into a creamy paste.

(Time-Skip and POV Switch: Shining Armor)

"Sir! Someone's attacking the castle!" I hear one of my loyal guard's shout.

"What!? Damnit!" I shout as I charge him. "Where!?" I quickly ask. He points toward the Castle Foyer and I pull my sword and wand and I sprint toward the foyer where I hear the sounds of battle. As I approach, I see the guards fighting off a sole combatant.

"Hyokindama!" I hear a familiar voice shout. Suddenly, the man jumps up and starts spinning, forming a large white ball that flies toward them.

I quickly conjure a barrier spell and I cover them causing the man to roll over it and into a nearby wall. I charge toward the man and see that it is none other than Arthur. "Are you insane!?" I shout to the man.

He just smirks and charges at me. He swings the sword in his left hand at me and I quickly block it with my right while tossing a spell at his chest. He blocks it with the sword in his right and he twists his head, swinging the sword in his mouth at my face. I jump back and thrust my sword at him, he quickly twists out of the way and uses the momentum of the move to swing his swords at me. I quickly throw up a shield spell and block it, I'm thrown backward by the force and I land on my back.

I stand back up and start ordering my soldiers to stop the raging man. "Squad One to the left, Squad Two to the right! Any remaining soldiers follow me up the middle! We stop this right now!" I shout. The men quickly split into squads and follow my orders. Arthur twists his head and pops his neck as my men start to surround him. "Give this up! Please! For Twilight's sake!" I shout to the man.

"Twilight's the reason why I'm attacking your men. She wants me to train you guys so I'm using this as an excuse to pick out the ones I want to train. So far, I have about 10 men and 9 women. I need one more before I'm satisfied." He lifts his swords and points them in front of him. He starts sprinting toward Squad One, "Ushi Bari!" He shouts as a ghostly bull forms behind him. I quickly form a shield around the Squad, halting the attack.

It seems to work until he pushes the spell causing his swords to pierce through the shield with ease. He charges through my men, launching them all back. I quickly give them a once over and see that none of them have been hurt, only thrown around. (He's toying with us!?) "Men, stand down!" I quickly shout.

They all look at me like I'm insane. "What!? We have to stop him before he attacks the princesses!" One of my soldiers shouts.

"Trust me!" I scream once more. My men slowly but surely sheath their swords. Arthur just stands there with a bewildered expression. I walk up to him and point my blade at him. I cross my left arm over my chest and point my wand in the air. "I will be your final opponent. If I lose, you can leave without any charges and I will take the fall for it. But when I win, you will turn yourself in and you will go to the dungeon for assaulting the castle." I bravely say.

He just looks at me with the same bewildered expression before it slowly turns into a feral grin. I feel a terrible pressure from all around me, almost bringing me to my knees. My men don't fare too well as they all fall to the ground, either puking or passing out. "Sounds fun," Arthur says.

As we circle each other, we start watching each other's stance. His stance is odd but somehow works, him holding two curved swords with another in his mouth. I guess Twilight wasn't lying when she told us about his stories. Suddenly, he charges me. He quickly slices the air in front of him, shouting, "Hyakuhachi Pound Ho!" A blade of air forms and flies toward me, I quickly conjure a triangular shield that deflects the blade off to the side into a nearby wall.

I cover my half of my sword in a shield and I slice in front of me, throwing the blade-shaped shield in his direction. As expected, he slices through it. He jumps into the air and slashes two of his swords at me while shouting, "Taka Nami!" A large gust of wind blows all of the guards behind me further away while launching me into the air. I quickly use small shields as platforms to catch myself.

I start sprinting toward him while using the shields to keep myself airborne. I swing my sword down toward his head, as expected, he blocks it with the sword in his mouth. I quickly conjure a shield around his head using the sword as a catalyst. A large ruby sphere forms around his head, "Give up or I'll suffocate you!" I shout to him.

He says nothing as he lifts his swords up and slices through the sphere with ease. I groan as I charge toward him. The two of us start swapping blows with me always blocking his attacks with a shield spell and him always blocking my attacks with one of his swords. He suddenly jumps back and sheathes all of his swords before pulling one off of his hip. "I'll use one last attack. You use your strongest and I'll use one of mine. Deal?" He twists the sword around him before grabbing it with one hand with the other wrapped firmly around the handle of his blade in a reverse grip.

"Deal." I start charging as much magical power into my sword as I physically can. I hold it to my right as I put my wand away. I grab the handle with both of my hands and we both stand there.

I quickly rush him and swing my sword at him, launching a ruby blade of pure magical energy at him. He does nothing as the blade tears through his chest causing blood to speed through the air. As I sprint toward him, he suddenly disappears from my vision as I hear him calmly say, "Ittoryu Iai: Shishi Sonson." I hear a click and feel pain as a slice appears on my chest through my armor, causing blood to fly everywhere. I feel myself slip from consciousness as he says, "I guess I found number 20, see you soon." I black out and fall to the ground.

(Time-Skip and POV Switch: Arthur)

"Was that really necessary?" I hear from my right. I look over and see Princess Celestia standing with her sister, the two of them clad in the same armor from before. "You do know that you're going to pay for all of the damages you've done, right?" She bluntly asks.

I nod as I rub the large wound on my chest. "Yep, but you're the one who said anything. You're also the one paying me to do this, I'm not training your soldiers without getting paid. Other than that, I only want to train them in Ponyville so I don't have to leave Twilight," I say as I look at all of the destruction.

She sighs as she looks down at Shining. "He even managed to hold you off long enough for us to come to his aid. He truly is worthy to be Captain, wouldn't you agree sister?"

"Agreed. Tis a shame to have him leave for his training, I'm sure Princess Cadenza will travel down to Ponyville to stay with him," Luna says.

"So, shall we meet your new recruits?" Celestia asks. I nod and she shouts to the guards, "Formation!" They all quickly line up.

I start picking out the 20 Guards. "Who are you?" I ask them.

The ones who stick out the most are "Lord Greecho: The Cleaner" He's literally a janitor that sprinted toward me with a mop trying to fight me while shouting "Aye Yai Yai!", "Crazy Eyes," a Knight that has the weirdest eyes ever, "Blobby" a female knight with an affinity for talking softly and a penchant for marrying crazy janitors named Greecho, and "Eugene." This has to be the weirdest group of people I have ever brought together.

"You brave 20 knights will be personally trained by me. It will not be easy and it will not be fun but you'll probably survive... Maybe," I say. "You have one week to move to Ponyville, see you then."

I turn and am about to leave the building when I hear Celestia call out to me, "Arthur!" I look up at the large woman. "Tell Twilight I say hello!" (What the fuck did she tell Twilight!?)

I quickly phase into the ground and I rush toward the Ponyville Library. I quickly stick my head out and see Twilight shouting at her friends, "I'M GONNA MURDER THAT JERK! HE ASSAULTED THE CASTLE, ATTACKED MY BROTHER, AND THREATENED THE PRINCESSES! WHEN HE GETS BACK I'LL GELD THE BASTARD!" I guess I'm staying at my old house for a week while she cools off. I try to pull my head back into the ground but I'm quickly pulled out by a light violet aura. "Where do you think you're going!?"

"Jesus Christ, not the eyes!" I shout as Twilight lets her rage out.

Author's Note

I had some of my friends name some knights in the story and they're the ones who stick out the most. Sorry about the weirdness behind their names.