The Completely Clean Ponyville Cuddle Competition
“Hellooooo Ponyville!” a high-pitched, hyper voice called out over a large gathering of ponies. Confetti and fireworks burst into the air as a hot air balloon loomed above the crowd.
“Today is the day you’ve all been waiting for! There’s nothing quite like it anywhere else in Equestria or beyond; today is the Completely Clean Ponyville Cuddle Competition!”
The crowd cheered, stomping their hooves as a yellow stallion looked out over the side of the basket.
“I’m Cheese Sandwich!”
A frazzled pink mane stuck out of the balloon, snuggling closely against him. “And I’m Pinkie Pie!”
“And together, we’re your hosts for this year’s cuddly competition!”
There was more applause as Pinkie and Cheese looked on, everypony smiling and looking excited. From below came the voices of several foals.
“I can’t believe it’s already been a year since last time!” Sweetie Belle looked on with stars in her eyes. “I missed my chance last year.”
“Me too,” Scootaloo lamented, brightening as she watched a certain grey colt walk by. “But I’m gonna make the most of it this year.” There was a wave, and a shy wink exchanged between her and her prey.
“Y’all hush, Pinkie’s explaining this year’s rules!” Apple Bloom hissed as she searched the crowd for her own target.
“This year’s winners will all receive a lifetime supply of treats from Sugarcube Corner! Anything they want,” Pinkie Pie went on, her eyes watching the crowd, “cookies, cake, chocolate, caramel—”
Then Cheese took over. “Croissants, and all kinds of crumbles.”
Then they chanted in unison, “Eclairs, ice-cream, and let’s not forget…” They pressed against one another, a squeeing sound filling the air. “All kinds of cupcakes!” they finished, giggling as multiple ponies licked their lips.
“And of course,” Pinkie continued, “the chance to challenge last year’s winners!”
“Who won last year?” Sweetie Belle asked, looking around at the mass of ponies gathered.
“You don’t know?” Scootaloo’s mouth fell open in shock. “It was—”
“Shhh!” Apple Bloom glared at both of them, then pointed back up at the hot air balloon.
“You have five minutes to pick the perfect pony to pair with. Once you are in a group of two or more, you cannot join another grouping.” Cheese waved his hoof at the crowd. “But single ponies can still join you.”
Pinkie Pie took over. “Annnnnd the ponies that snuggle the bestest will win. Oh, right!” Pinkie Pie piped as she spun around, now facing a small wooden stage where a large curtain was strung. “Now for the ponies with the hardest jobs in Equestria!”
“Judging isn’t that hard, Pinkie,” Cheese argued.
“It is if you don’t get to join in with all the fun cuddling.” Then Pinkie’s eyes sank slightly. “Just like us.”
“Aw, cheer up, Pinks.” Cheese hugged her tight, nuzzling against her neck with his snout. “I’ll make suuuuuure you don’t miss out.”
There was a wave of D’awwww’s from the crowd as Pinkie snorted and giggled. She waved at the stage and the first pony stepped out into view.
“First, we have one of the cutest mares in Ponyville. She’s silly, she’s adorably clumsy, it’s Ditzy ‘Muffins’ Doo!”
The grey pegasus trotted out from behind the curtain to take her seat behind a small table, giving a cheery wave at the crowd as they stomped for her in applause. There was a small microphone at the front of her desk, which she leaned close to.
“H-hello, everypony! I’m so happy to be judging today, and I hope you all have as much fun as you can! Also—” Her eyes darkened slightly. “—if the winner doesn’t share any of their lifetime muffin supply, I’m going to be very, very disappointed.”
A chuckle rippled through the crowd, though they quieted down when Ditzy raised an eyebrow.
“Neeeext,” Cheese boomed from above. “We have the embodiment of love and snuggles herself, directly from the Crystal Empire, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!”
Her pink feathers ruffled as she stepped out, giving an eyeroll at Cheese Sandwich. She stopped before her seat and gave a loving hug to Ditzy, who giggled like a school filly as she returned it.
Speaking into the microphone, Cadance smiled down upon the soon-to-be snuggling contestants. “Greetings, my little fluffy and adorable ponies. I hope to see you giving it your all out there!”
“I love you, Cadance!” called one contestant.
“Yes, Shiny, I know.” Cadance smiled as she shook her head. Shining jumped and squealed like a little fanfilly.
“And now!” Cheese Sandwich boomed, shaping Pinkie Pie’s tail into a microphone. “Our final judge, the ancient and wise Starswirl the Bearded!”
A tall, star-etched hat rose above the tops of the stage as Starswirl slowly stepped forward. He coughed into his hoof, glaring upwards as he found his way to his seat.
“Just who are you calling old, you walking dairy product?” He turned and eyed Cadance, eyes going from her horn to wings to hoof. “Another princess?” Starswirl raised an eyebrow. “What? Do they just grow on trees now? Why am I here, anyway?”
“Twilight asked that I invite you,” Cadance said, her eyebrow twitching. “Something about borrowing your infinite wisdom and making you more comfortable with today’s society.”
Starswirl huffed. “Twinkle Sparks needs to only worry about herself. But…” he conceded, “I do owe her.”
Cadance forced a small smile, then nodded to the floating party ponies.
“Okie-dokie, everypony!” Pinkie Pie beamed. “Five minutes to snuggles!”
The throng of ponies scattered like multi-colored candy tossed into a mixer. Giggles and shy smiles passed across many faces, heads turning, eyes searching, for that one, elusive snuggle.
Shining Armor stepped near the stage, calling up to Cadance as the crowd shifted behind him. “So what do I owe you for letting me do this?”
A slow, sinister smile spread across her face as she looked down on her husband. “Oh, trust me, that’s already taken care of.”
“What do you—”
“B.B.B.F.F.!”
“Oh no.” The blood drained from Shining’s face as hooves clopped up from behind him.
Cadance winked, grinning wickedly. “Have fun, Shiny.”
“I hate you.”
Lavender hooves wrapped around his neck, pulling his face around to meet Twilight’s bright eyes.
“Cadance said we get to compete together for the contest! Isn’t that great!”
Shining gritted his teeth before forcing a smile. “Yeah, Twily.” He pulled Twilight into a hug, turning his head slightly to glare at the evil manifestation that was his wife.
“Have fun, you two!” She waved as they moved away from the stage.
A short distance away and Twilight had snuggled up to Shining. Her wing draped across his back and her mane pressed against his neck. Shining Armor glanced at his sister, her contented eyes closing as she smiled sweetly.
“Whatever.” He rubbed his hoof through her mane, eliciting a sigh from Twilight. They traversed the rapidly moving crowd until a blue-maned pegasus stepped out before them.
“Commander?”
Shining Armor blinked for a second, then nodded. “Hey there, Flash. And it’s just Shining Armor here. We’re both off duty.”
Flash rubbed the back of his head with a wing. “Right, sorry Com—I mean Shining Armor.” Then his eyes fell upon Twilight, who was snuggled closely with Shining, and his whole face seemed to droop. “You’re paired with…”
“Eeyup,” Shining affirmed, his left eyebrow twitching.
“But…” Flash held a hoof out, struggling to speak.
Twilight finally seemed to take notice of their conversation, having been completely lost while snuggling her face into Shining’s coat.
“It’s not creepy!” Twilight blurted out.
“I didn’t say it was…” Flash Sentry said, blinking. “But I see you two are busy, so I’ll…”
“Oh, heya, Moondancer. Glad you could make it!” Twilight beamed as she waved a hoof. “Do you have a partner yet?”
A shy unicorn pushed her glasses up with a hoof as she approached. She smiled a little at Twilight, her eyes widening as she slowly looked over Flash Sentry.
“Umm, no. I just got here, and well… I just don’t really know anypony.”
“Oh!” Twilight separated from Shining, grabbing Moondancer by the hoof and dragging her forward. She stuck her friend like glue to a confused Flash, who was now looking from Twilight to Moondancer and back again. “Flash is free, why don’t you two partner up?”
“I, uh…” they both spoke, then blushed as their eyes met. “Okay.”
They moved closer, and Flash lifted a wing for Moondancer to step under. As they stepped away, Moondancer looked back at Twilight, who gave her a little wink.
“That was nice of you, Twily.” Shining Armor watched as the pair blended into the crowd. Twilight wrapped her hooves around her brother and giggled.
“Somepony needed to cut Flash a break, and honestly, Moony needed this.”
Shining Armor snorted. “Like you’re the social expert all of a sudden?”
Twilight swung forward and booped Shining on the nose. “Princess. Of. Friendship.”
“Whatever, Twinkle-butt.” Then he booped her back and they fell into a fit of laughter.
From beneath the shade of a nearby oak, a small grey mare stepped out into the sun. Her eyes scanned the crowd, then narrowed in on a tall, red stallion that stood out from the rest. Slowly, she made her way towards him, her pace decreasing the closer she got. At about ten paces, she sat and watched him—Big Macintosh, sitting by himself, watching the mares around him with trepidation.
She breathed a heavy sigh, then turned around.
“You can do it, Marble!” Pinkie’s voice screamed from above. Marble let out an eep as she looked up, her sister dangling from the side of the balloon. Cheese Sandwich held her hooves, smiling like a wild stallion. “I believe in you! Go get you a piece of that Apple!”
Marble gulped, nodded, and then turned around. Bic Mac was now facing her, a gentle sparkle in his eyes. Marble stepped close, and was rewarded as Bic Mac mirrored it. She reached out with a hoof to touch the big stallion, and then blinked as two others did the same.
“Well now, isn’t this a predicament.” Cheerilee turned and smiled at Marble, then cocked her head to look past her. “And who else do we have here?”
“Sugar Belle,” said the pink mare. “And Big Mac is mine!”
Cheerilee raised an eyebrow. Marble just grimaced and grabbed one of Big Mac’s hooves.
“Now, fillies, there’s no need to fight.” Big Mac looked around, chewing on his grass stem a little faster than usual. “There’s some rule for this, I’m sure.”
All four ponies looked up to see Pinkie dangling from a rope just above them.
“Eeeeeyuuuup,” Pinkie Pie supplied. “You all get to share!”
“Well, I don’t have a problem with that,” Cheerilee said with a shrug.
Sugar Belle simply laughed. “Oh, I guess I can share. The more the merrier.”
Big Mac bent his head slightly and looked at Marble. “You going anywhere?”
There was a long pause before she answered in a whisper, “Uhhnope.”
The four laughed and hugged, snuggling manes and tails all wrapping about.
From not far off, Apple Bloom watched with her head resting in her hooves. “Aw, would ya just look at ‘em.” When nopony answered, Apple Bloom turned her head to watch Scootaloo nibbling at the base of Rumble’s wing. “Hey, you two, jeez. We haven’t even started yet!”
Rumble nuzzled against Scootaloo’s neck, then eyed Apple Bloom. “You jealous?”
Apple Bloom sputtered, looking around wildly before letting out a defeated sigh. “A little.”
Scootaloo stopped and smiled, her eyes watching the crowd. She whispered into Rumble’s ear, and he nodded, then narrowed his eyes.
“Be right back,” he said, his wings spreading open. Scootaloo leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek, his fur turning nearly crimson as he blasted off like a rocket.
“Wut was that about?”
“Oh, you’ll see in a second.”
A few wing beats later and a squirming orange pony was dropped on top of Apple Bloom.
Thick purple mane drooped into Apple Bloom’s face as Tender Taps clumsily stood above her. His hooves were on either side of her head, a confused look on his face.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” she said back.
“Do you still need a partner?”
“Do ya still know yer way around a dance floor?”
“Yes?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, there’s yer answer.”
He laughed and nuzzled her neck, prying a sweet giggle from Apple Bloom.
“Aw, don’t they look cute together?”
Sweetie Belle and Button Mash stepped up next to Scootaloo and Rumble. The latter pair nodded, because of course, Button was too busy snuggling his joyboy.
Sweetie Belle scowled, her magic levitating the device away.
“Hey! Give that back!” Button swiped his hooves at the piece of plastic, but it was futile.
“I’ve got a much more fun game, Button.” Sweetie smiled sweetly, then nibbled on his ear.
“Ohh,” he said, turning to face her, blushing hotly. “Mommy…”
“Alright, ponies, we only have a minute left!” Cheese cried over the crowd. “Find your partner and pick a spot near the stage!”
A small wagon drew up from just outside the gathering crowd, a pony running out to meet the puller.
“Hey, Trixie! Glad you could make it!”
Trixie unlatched herself, fixing her frazzled mane with her magic. “Of course, Starlight. Trixie wouldn’t miss any chance to prove how amazing she is. Now, which lucky pony gets to snuggle with Trixie?”
They walked together until Trixie’s eyes gleamed like gems. Dashing forward, her hooves wrapped around an amber-colored stallion who stared at her in surprise.
“Sunburst, the perfect choice for the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Then another hoof wrapped around hers. She looked across Sunburst’s chest to see Starlight looking back at her.
“Well, this is awkward.” Sunburst looked back and forth between them.
Starlight raised an eyebrow, then shrugged.
“Trixie is okay with this.” Trixie nuzzled up under Sunburst’s chin, Starlight smiling as she pressed up next to both of them.
Somewhere nearby, green scales crossed the herd frantically. Spike looked about for a particularly marshmallow-like mare, his heart pounding in his chest.
“Rarity! Where are you?!”
Finally, a blip of white and magenta caught his eye. He pushed past couples of cuddling ponies: Rainbow and Applejack, that DJ mare and her grey musical friend, and finally stepped out before his love.
Then his jaw fell open.
“My dearest Rarity, my princess!” A pony Spike recognized as Prince Blueblood was bent on one hoof, Rarity looking down at him with a shocked expression. “My darling Rarity, would you forgive this stallion for his arrogance, his misdeeds to such a wondrous soul such as yourself, and bless me with your partnership in this event?”
He held his hoof out to her, his eyes glimmering with tears as he waited with bated breath. Slowly, ever so slowly, Rarity took his hoof in hers and nodded.
“Yes, my prince. It would be my pleasure.”
Spike fell back, his claws clutching against his chest as he groaned.
“Does the universe hate me or something?” he asked, looking into the sky.
“One must not give in to despair, my friend.” Claws wrapped around his arm, pulling him against hard scales.
He looked up and gaped. “Ember?”
“The one and only,” she said. “I’ve heard telling of this competition. The fiercest and most intense contest in all of Equestria.”
Spike smiled, shaking his head. “A different kind of intense, I suppose.” He grabbed Ember’s claw and pulled her over towards the stage. “I’ll explain the rules as we go.”
“Alllllrighty then!” Cheese and Pinkie called. “The contestants are ready and the judges are ready, so when I say go, get to cuddling!”
Then Pinkie looked out and smiled, very very widely. “I see most of you already are!” A chuckle rippled through the crowd. “Now, if one of the judges says you’re out, then that’s it. But until then, keep snuggling like you’ve never snuggled before!”
“And they’re off!”
Many ponies settled down on blankets provided for the contest, nibbling, snuggling, kissing and nuzzling to the best of their ability. The judges looked on, Cadance and Starswirl making notes while Ditzy just smiled and cheered.
“The fillies are definitely doing better this year,” Cadance said, watching Scootaloo and Rumble performing aerial cuddling maneuver number five. “You have to admire their enthusiasm.”
“Ack. These youngsters barely know a thing.” Then Starswirl nodded as he spotted the trio of unicorns near the center of the crowd. Starlight was levitating Trixie and herself as they snuggled each other and Sunburst. “Now there’s some real affection. Magic, flair, superior cuddling,” Starswirl commented.
“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Swirly,” Cadance growled. “Just look at that dance number!”
Hooves stepped across the grass in fluid, synchronized steps. Tender Taps held one hoof against Apple Bloom’s back as they moved before coming together for small nuzzles. Their performance was captivating enough that ponies around them stopped to watch.
“Groups three, five and ten, you’re out!”
There was a collective groan as three flower-adorned mares stomped off, followed by the Flimflam brothers and the spa twins.
"I don’t know about any of that,” Ditzy said, cocking her head. “But look at that!”
Fluttershy was sitting in the paws of a giant, extra fluffy bunny. Two yellow eyes looked out as Discord’s face appeared amidst the white fur. “Nopony snuggles my little butterfly except me!”
Fluttershy giggled, burying her face into his chest. Indeed, a horde of butterflies crept out from the surrounding areas, lifting them into the air gently.
“That sure is quite the sight,” Cadance said, her quill scratching before her. “Now, we just have to figure out how to narrow it down.”
Starswirl rolled his eyes. “Just wait for them to wear themselves out. This generation doesn’t have the fortitude for a real tumble in the hay.”
Cadance coughed into her hoof. “While that’s up for debate, Starswirl, you do have a point.”
“And here we are! Down to a hoofful of groups in just a few short hours.”
“Princess of Twinkles, you’re out!” Starswirl called, his hoof stomping on the floor.
“Noooo!” Twilight cried, holding her brother for dear life.
“Yesssss,” Shining mouthed, falling to the floor with a heavy thud.
“Umm, Granny Smith, Granpear, you two fell asleep, so…” Ditzy said softly. “You’re out too, I’m sorry.”
The pair kept snoozing, completely oblivious to the competition around them.
Apple Bloom and Tender Taps had finally worn down, passing out with their hooves wrapped around one another.
“You’re out!”
Spike had gotten free of Ember’s grasp, running for dear life as she sprayed green fire behind him.
“Get back here!”
“Nooooooooo!”
“Disqualified! That’s not in the least bit cuddly or romantic,” Cadance scowled at the fleeing dragons. “Not cuddly at all.”
“Oh, what do we have here?” Starswirl narrowed his eyes, gazing into what appeared to be steam rising from the crowd.
Two pegasi swooped back and forth, cuddling and spraying lightning with each pass.
“Spitfire and Soarin…” Cadance said as she looked on. “That’s pretty hot.”
“Literally,” Ditzy giggled.
Then things got a little too hot.
“Aerial maneuver sixty-nine is definitely not allowed in this competition. Disqualified!”
Wings drooped for a moment before Spitfire winked at Soarin. “My place?”
“Last one there wears the muzzle.”
Lightning crackled as they soared off, leaving only a few groups remaining.
“Alright, ponies. Gather around!” Cadance stepped forward, a piece of parchment floating in her magic. “I have the four finalists. Now, before I announce them, we would like to thank all of you for cuddling your adorable little hearts out.
“Drum roll please!” Cadance looked up to the balloon where Pinkie was now using Cheese Sandwich’s head as a bongo. “And the top four are...
“Rarity and Prince BlueBlood!”
The marshmallow ponies jumped for joy, stepping forward and turning to face the crowd.
“Scootaloo and Rumble!”
Tiny wings buzzed with excitement as Rumble carried them toward the finalists.
“Big Mac and all the mares.”
There was a wave from the pile of cuddling ponies, but they made no effort to move.
“Annnnd, the dark horse, Diamond Tiara and Pipsqueak!”
“Oy!” Pipsqueak pulled the pink pony along, smiling at the crowd. When they made it to the front, he turned and kissed Diamond on the cheek, darkening her shade of pink several times.
“Trixie cannot believe she was beaten by foals!” Trixie huffed, turning her head away. “If only this was a teacup competition.”
“Oh, quit your whining,” Starlight said, giving her flank a smack. Trixie whinnied, jumping forward a few feet before glancing back. “I had fun regardless. You wanna, you know, continue this in my room?”
“Trixie would love that very much.”
The pair started walking off before Sunburst raised his hoof. “Am I invited?”
Starlight looked back, waiting for a long moment before grinning. “That’s fine. I needed to test this new bit I bought anyway.”
Sunburst turned just a tad scarlet, but quickly followed.
There were other grumbles and gripes, but most ponies dispersed without a word, smiles plastered on their faces.
“Alright, my cuddly ponies,” Cadance said, now speaking normally instead of booming out into a crowd. “All of you are fighting to impress the previous two winners. Gain their approval, and you will claim your prize.”
“Who won last year?”
It was Prince Blueblood that asked, holding Rarity in his hooves like a priceless gem.
“Ah, yes.” Starswirl stepped over to the curtain, his magic pulling on the ropes. “Your majesties.”
The dark red curtain parted to reveal an extremely comfortable sofa, upon which sat Princess Luna and Princess Celestia. They were snuggled against each other, smiling pleasantly at the onlookers.
“Hello, my little ponies.”
“Greetings, my subjects.”
“Aww, that’s adorable.” Ditzy held her hoof to her chest. “Too much, it hurts.”
Starswirl and Cadance nodded to the balloon.
“Get ready! Get set! Cuddlefest!”
The first to lose was Bic Mac and company.
“Too much kissing and not enough snuzzeling,” Luna declared. “To the Moon!”
The quartet vanished in a flash of light.
“Sister, you didn’t actually send them…”
“To. The. Moon.” Luna insisted.
Celestia rolled her eyes.
Scootaloo and Rumble snuggled and snuzzeled and nipped and nuzzled. But, in the end, they couldn’t quite hack it either.
“No dessert for you, Scootaloo.” Celestia licked her lips.
“Was the cake a lie?” Rumble asked.
“It’s okay, Rumble.” Scootaloo smiled. “Sleepover at Button’s house!”
“Aw yeah.”
The last two groups seemed evenly matched. Rarity and Blueblood were exquisitely refined in their cuddles, taking the slowest, smallest nips and nuzzles from each other. Diamond Tiara and Pipsqueak, however, matched their refinement with enthusiasm.
Finally, when the foals seemed to tire, Cadance frowned at the high society ponies.
“Hold up, something’s amiss.” Then she lit her horn, releasing a wave of magic that washed over everypony in front of the stage. Green fire crackled as Prince Blueblood was stripped of his disguise, revealing a very scared looking King Thorax.
“What!” Rarity jumped back in surprise. “What is the meaning of this?”
“I-I can explain…” His head turned this way and that. “It was a joke—a prank!”
“And who’s idea was it?” Rarity demanded.
Thorax pointed a shaky hoof at a floating rainbow-maned pegasus, who was now clutching her stomach as laughter rolled over her.
“Rainbow Dash…” Rarity growled. Then, she eeped as Thorax pulled her close, giving her a long, passionate kiss. “Ohh.”
“I… went along with it because, well, I actually really like you, Rarity.”
“Wha-what?” Rarity’s eyes shrank and grew rapidly. “What?”
To further prove his point, Thorax stepped close and nuzzled her neck, nipping at her ear afterwards.
“You are the most generous soul in Equestria, guiding me like a brilliant star as I cross an endless sea.”
Rarity was speechless. So, instead, she spoke with action. Slowly, she caressed the shimmering chitin with a tender hoof, smiling and nuzzling all the while.
“Well, what the hell?” Rainbow complained. “That’s not funny.”
A rope flew through the air, catching around her middle before she was pulled to the ground.
“Yer in big trouble, Rainbow.” Applejack glared down at her.
“Yeah?” Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “And who’s gonna punish me? You?”
“Eyyup.”
Rainbow gulped. The cuddling continued.
Ten long, cuddly minutes passed before Celestia held up a hoof.
“Enough, we have decided to join the cuddling, my little ponies.”
“Yes, sister, it is time.”
The pair got up, stepping slowly across the stage. Powerful energies began to swirl around them, dark and fiery magic that sent chills down everypony’s spine.
There was a flash, and then the crowd gasped as two very different ponies stood before them.
“I am Nightmare Moon!”
“And I am Daybreaker!”
“And all of the world’s cuddling now belongs to us!”
Waves of energy emitted from the ruling ponies, a force that nearly knocked the remaining competitors off their hooves. Then they heard it. The sound of hundreds, neigh, thousands of hoofsteps thundered towards them.
Cadance turned, standing next to Starswirl as both of their horns glowed. A small pink shield held around themselves and Ditzy.
“Quite a nice shield, Miss Cadance,” Starswirl admired.
“Decent reflexes for such an old stallion,” Cadance said, giving an approving nod.
“The Want it, Need it spell, cast on a massive scale…” Starswirl said as he watched giant herds of ponies close in. “There’s no escape.”
“Don’t say that,” Ditzy begged. She watched as Pipsqueak and Diamond Tiara, along with Rarity and Thorax stood strong against the wave of ponies, still cuddled together despite the opposition.
“Fight, young ones!” Starswirl called, energized by Ditzy’s hope. “Cuddle like the world depends on it…” He looked at the mass of ponies now glomping against Nightmare Moon and Celestia. “Because it just might.”
Pinkie Pie closed the book, her chair rocking as she looked on at the gaping foals before her.
“And that’s why competitive cuddling was outlawed.”
“But what happened, Gramma Pie?”
“Oh, well… You know the crater where Ponyville used to be?”
They nodded.
“Yeah, that.”
Author's Note
Yeah, this thing... eheh.
Hope ya'll enjoyed reading, cause it was a lot of fun to write. Special thanks to Dashy and Jack for edits and thoughts.
With love and dedication, Dreams of Ponies 
