A True Self Insert, Season 1: How did I get here?

May, 20th, 2010. 2:37 A.M.
Equestria, Ponyville.

"Pinky please-please-please tell me why we are all-" Twilight pointed to the other four elements of harmony, -"standing out here in the middle of the night?" She asked looking just as displeased as the rest of the group. The group all grumbled as they fought off drowsiness and fatigue. Pinky jumped around facing her friends, a big smile plastered on her face. "My tails twitching and you know what that means!" She exclaimed not missing a hoof step as she twirled around and continued her treck to the center of town, all the while her tail gave a spastic twitch as she trotted. Rainbow rolled her eye's. " I swear some pony better be dying." She grumbled as they all followed Pinky who suddenly stopped as the group came to the source of her tails spasms.

"What are we doing at the lake dear?" Rarity asked as she stifled a yawn. Applejack looked around.

"Uh, Pinky there ain't nothing out here." She staited scratching her head and giving her surroundings another once over. Fluttershy held up the rear of the group and she too was trying to catch herself as she nearly dozed off. Twilight examined their surroundings as well.

"Pinky are you sure this isn't--" She was cut off as Pinky began to vibrate, hyperventilate and then proceeded to rapidly expand and contract. Rainbow face hoofed.

"Great just what we need, a doozy at 3 in the mourning." She deadpanned. Rainbow's snark didn't go unnoticed but just as Applejack was about to rebuff her the whole group was stopped dead in there tracks as a bright pillar of light shot up into the sky casting the shore into an ethereal glow of white light.

"What in the hay is that?!" Rainbow shouted over the roaring wind and unrestrained waves of magical energy that were bleeding off the pillar. Twilight cast a shield over herself and her friends. All six of them huddled together as they weathered the energy storm however just as Twilights shield was starting to crack the light, sound, wind, and magic suddenly ceased.

"What in tarnation was that?" Applejack asked as they all huddled there too shocked to move. No pony answered her for they had none to give. Their collective shock was disturbed by the unmistakable sound of some pony screaming. The group all looked around as the sound got closer and closer to there ear's. Finally, they all decided to look skyward and there illuminated by the bright full moon was some pony- no something falling out of the sky at a very rapid pace.

"Oh no." Rarity exclaimed as the group all saw the creature come ever closer to the ground. As most of the group was trying to plan out just what to do, Rainbow Dash had already been on point with some quick calculations as tie slowed down around her.

"Based on its speed and factoring in terminal velocity it should take me less than a tenth of a second to reach it and bring it down safely." With time still frozen to a crawl Dash flared her wing's and shot into the night sky like a blue missile, intent on seeing what all the pomp and circumstance was all about.

Joseph had no idea what was going on. One minute he was asleep in bed and the next he was falling through the sky. Then as if to make thing's worse his body was ripped out of the sky by a blue bur that then began to descend to the ground at a velocity that the average human body could barely withstand. "I better be having the most vivid out of body experience ever or the most exciting lucid dream of all time." He thought as his vision went dark from the massive G-forces going to town on his body.

As Rainbow came in for a landing the rest of the group stood there. "What-When-How?" Twilight babbled as she looked to were Rainbow was, then to the thing she was carrying, and then back to where she was just a second ago. Not wanting to miss out on an opportunity Dash struck a pose balancing the passed out creature on her back as she did so.

"Did you really forget that I'm the Rainbow Dash! Fastest flier in all of Equestria?" She was rewarded with stiff glare's from Rarity and Applejack while Twilight was still analyzing what had just happened, Pinky was passed out on the ground snoozing while Fluttershy was at dash's side examining the strange creature for any injury's. She inspected its body structure from top to bottom.

"Let's see here it appears to be a biped, about 100-120 pounds with a small layer of fur coating its body." Her eye's then roamed from its body to its face. Her inspection was cut short however by dash shivering.

"Hey, Flutters what do you say we continue the examination at the hospital ok?" She said as she turned around and began trotting towards Ponyville General. "Oh! Ok Rainbow." She looked at the rest of the group. Twilight had finally awoken from her stupor, Rarity and Applejack had hefted Pinky up off the ground and onto AJ's back.

"Yall go on ahead." Applejack said nodding at Pinky. "Me and Rare's here will make sure Pinky get's home safely." With that, the group split up, with Twilight following the Equestria's newest resident as her, Dash, and Fluttershy took it to the hospital.