A True Self Insert, Season 1: How did I get here?

September 13, 2010.
5:23 P.M

Joseph looked out the passenger car window lost in thought. "Why." "Why what?" "Why do I have to be infatuated with someone I can never have. The only other occupants in the train car were Twilight and Cadance. The rest were all off at different sections of the train doing their own thing. Twilight came over and whispered to Cadance.

"So what now?" She asked. Cadance was lost in thought. "I don't know." She staited as she sifted through the information she was receiving from the small group of friends focusing on two individuals in particular while her horn glowed a dual aura of green and cyan. "Dash seems to be wary of the brother's. Joseph seems to still dought his feelings." She sighed. "I wish there was some way we could get the two of them alone but I can't think of a way to do that without making them feel very awkward."

Just as she was thinking of a way to get this whole situation started luck intervened as Dash opened the door and trotted inside. "Or you know that could just happen." She thought as she nudged Twilight who looked over at Dash who took a seat across from Joseph. She gave out a small sigh and motioned for them to leave, which the two did so without making a sound. As they did so Joseph noticed he wasn't alone. when he noticed just who was next to him however his face lit up and he quickly went back to looking out the window.

"Hey there Dash." He said carefully trying to keep his voice in check. "What bring's you here?" He asked feeling like an idiot for in his opinion stating the obvious. She just chuckled and looked out the window as well.

"Well I've been trying to go back and remember were either of those two show up in my memories." She pondered her conundrum some more. Finally, she shook her head. "I just can't place either of them and that's just not cool." She heaved out a sigh. "So I decided to just give it a rest for now." She leaned back in her seat. "So how about you?" She looked Joseph over. "You look like you have something on your mind as well." Joseph just chuckled. "Oh do I." He thought as he too reclined in his seat.

"Eh, nothing important really. Just wondering what I'm going to do with my life." He lied. "Can't tell her the truth." He shuttered at the thought of what she would say or do to him if she ever found out. Dash saw him shudder thow. "Hey, you sure you're ok?" She reached out a hoof across the little gap and felt that he was ice cold.

"Wow dude what's up with that?" She said getting up and trotting over to his side of the booth. "Huh what do you-" He stopped as Dash hopped up and then snuggled close to his side. He instantly felt warmth begin to seep throughout his body.

"How come you didn't say anything?" Dash asked looking a little concerned. Joseph just sat there trying to think of a good excuse. "Um." was all he could say. "Damn it say something else!" "wow your warm." He mentally slapped himself. "Something not so creepy!" Dash just laughed. "Last I checked yeah that's a thing we ponies have going for us." She snickered as he just smirked. "Smart ass." He said earning a shove from Dash. "You're one to talk!" She countered causing Joseph to laugh.

"True." He said before standing up. "Attention all peasants! Your honorable and absolutely extravagant King, Smart Ass has an announcement!" Dash cracked up as Joseph went on a tirade about the price of bananas and how the public was getting duped out of a small fortune in bits. When he was through he sat back down and chuckled.

"Haven't done that in a long time." He stated as Dash got over her fit of giggles. She then yawned and stretched out.

"Hey do me a favor and wake me when we get there." She said making Joseph wonder what she meant. She then sprawled out on his lap and promptly began to snooze. Joseph was glad she was asleep because his face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Don't overthink this." His brain shouted. Feeling the sting of his inadequacy threatening to come back he instead focused on all of the things that he enjoyed doing with Dash. "Why couldn't I have been born a pony?" He sighed and resumed his vigil of the countryside as it whizzed past.

Canterlot.
6:03 P.M.

As the group all trotted off the station platform Twilight began to hand out folded sheets of paper that upon closer inspection Joseph found it to be a map of Canterlot with little tidbits about certain establishments. She then cleared her throat.

"So as you all can see we have some map's here of Canterlot." She said as she levitated her own map for all to see. Then Cadance stepped up.

"Now as you all know we came here to have fun. So in the spirit of our sporadic outing Twilight and I thought it would be fun if we,"- she pulled out a small set of stick's.-"We are going to draw straw's to see who goes with whom." She smirked as she saw some of the male's and female's squirm. "I love it when they writhe in agony." Cadance's smiled as her eyes flashed green for a little bit.

"Honey is everything ok?" Shining asked. Cadance snapped out of her stupor as a dopey grin spread across her face. "Um, anyway let's get the night started shall we?" She asked as she began to shuffle the sticks together. "Alright now when I call your name come up and grab a stick." She then proceeded to call out everypony present until all the sticks were gone.

"All right now see which stick you have." They all did so noticing a small string attached to each of them. "The sticks with the same color string all go together for the night." She stated as the group's all began to form based on who had what color.

6:17 P.M.

"Come on slowpoke. The night is young and so are we!" Dash flew through the air dragging me along for the ride. I just laughed.

"Ok. Ok. I'm coming." I said just so she would release me from her iron hooved grip. She just rolled her eyes and smirked.

"Ok so let's check the map real quick," Dash said as she hovered over my shoulder. I unfolded my own map and we studied it for a bit.

"Ok, we're almost there!" She said tugging me along once more. We got to the aftermentioned nightclub.

"The Selena Sky Bar." Joseph read off as they got closer. He saw the establishment and then looked at himself.

"Uh hey, Dash?" He asked pointing to the building floating in the sky. "One how am I going to get up there? And two how am I going to stay up there?" Dash smiled. "Watch and learn bud." She said as she began to rub her hooves together. She flared her wings out and levitated in the air in front of Joseph who looked awestruck at the display. "Ok?" He asked wondering just what she was doing. Lightning began to crackle around one of Dash's outstretched hooves. "Hold on," Dash said leveling her lightning coated hoof at Joseph.

"Uh?" Was all he could get out before Joseph felt himself begin to levitate off the ground as a cyclone engulfed him. Then his world went out as he was blinded by a flash of light and then felt a prickling sensation shoot throughout his body. When he came to he was back on the ground.

"What was that?" He asked simply too stunned to figure out what had happened. Dash was there giving him a look of pure glee.

"How about you hop off the ground and find out." She said as she hovered in the air. Joseph was puzzled.

"Um ok." He chose to trust her and jumped. He was thoroughly surprised when he didn't fall back down but instead began to levitate a few feet off the ground.

"Wow! wow! wow!" He looked around in a panic. "Dash what is going on here?" He screamed and flailed around as he tried to get back to the ground. Dash seeing the pure look of fear cross his face quickly flew over and grabbed ahold of his midsection and turned him right side up.

"Easy there, Joseph. Just take it slow and hold on to me." She said as she began to fly towards the sky bar, Joseph holding onto her hoof for guidance and comfort. When they finally touched down on the cloud deck entrance Joseph took a few experimental steps and found that he didn't sink into or even fall through the clouds like he thought he would.

"How?" He asked Dash as he stood in place allowing his body to get used to the new sensation of walking on clouds.

"Well, when you know how to manipulate clouds like I do it's pretty easy. All you have to do is reverse the effect's of gravity, add in a little bit of electromagnetic field restabilization and recalibrate the density of the air around you and--" She stopped when Joseph began to stare at her with a newfound appreciation. "What?" she asked looking a little embarrassed at the fact that she geeked out in public. Joseph just shook his head.

"Brains, brawn, and beauty." He spoke before catching what he had said. Dash noticed and while she was still red in the face she smirked.

"Yeah. I'm the whole package deal," she said striking a pose. Joseph just chuckled. "One day Dash you are going to make some stallion very happy." He muttered as he strode over to the door and held it open. "After you my lady." He said giving a short bow to which Dash just snickered and strode in, her head held high. "Thank you kind Sr. Please don't dally long. we have more important matter's to attend to." Dash spoke in a mock regal accent that would make Rarity cringe.

"Of course my lady. Right away." He let the door go and followed Dash into the nightclub proper. As they entered the room and beheld the dance floor, of which was packed with ponies, they had to shout just to hear each other over the music.

"So what do you want to do first?" Joseph asked as Dash hovered there. She just laughed, leaned into his ear and whispered.

"Well, I can think of several things we could do." She leaned out to see his face light up a deep red.

"Um, I, Uh." Dash just chortled as she hoofed him in the shoulder. "Easy there tiger." She said causing him to simmer down a bit.

"Now we can go out and dance or we can head over to the bar and get plastered. Then go and dance." Joseph just laughed.

"You know I don't drink Dash." He said as she nodded. "True. One of us has to stay sober." She said, "Yeah so I can drag you home over my shoulder while you quote Darring Doo all night long." She just scoffed, a smile on her face. "I don't quote Darring Doo all night long." She said as she grabbed a hold of Joseph's arm and dragged him over to the dance floor.

"Now come on let's party!" She yelled as she began to sway and move in time to the music. "Well at least I can't make a bigger fool of myself." Soon Joseph got into a rhythm of his own. Dash once again proved her grace and flexibility as she glided around the dance floor like an aerial ballerina. As Joseph just moved and bobbed with the beat, Dash flittered around the dance floor with all the grace of an angel. As she stopped to catch her breath she saw a little crowd begin to form around her. So she pulled Joseph into the mix flared her wing's to get some space from the crowd and steady herself as she held Joseph close and whispered once more.

"Just follow my lead." He obliged as Dash lead him through a simple routine that he soon got the hang of and soon the two were dancing together as if they had been at it for years. "Wow!" Was all Joseph could think of as he held Dash close and then let her flit away as they both twirled around the dance floor.

"Can this night get any better?"

9:27 P.M.

As the last song rang out over the speaker's Dash and Joseph found themselves panting and gasping for air.

"That..was...amazing," Joseph said as he hobbled over to the bar intent on having a nice long glass of water. Dash laughed.

"I told you it would be worth it." She said as she to took a pitcher of water and downed it all in one go. Joseph gave her a curious look.

"No alcohol?" He asked. She nodded.

"This is a night that I actually want to remember." She smirked as she downed another pitcher of water. "So no Blue Balls or Screwdriver's for me." She stated as she set the pitcher down. Joseph just laughed.

"Well, then we can at least drink to the long night ahead." He finished his own pitcher and hopped off the bar stool.

"Hey, I gotta go take a leak real quick." He thumbed over to the nearby restroom. Dash nodded, "Ok. Don't make me have to come in there and find you!" she warned as a smile broke out across her face. Joseph just laughed and waved her off.

"Be back in a sec." He walked off to the bathroom. A little while later he came back out feeling much better. He looked around and spotted Dash over at the bar and made his way over to her. "So what I miss?" He asked as he took s seat next to her.

"Ow, nothing much just-" She was cut off as a rather tall and lanky stallion bumped into her and almost knocked her off her stool.

"Wow!" she said as she steadied herself. The stallion, however, went crashing to the floor, having obviously had one too many to drink tonight.

"He-y w-w-watc-h- wer--you--going!" He slurred into the floor as he tried to hobble his way off the ground. Joseph looked over at Dash.

"You ok?" He said as he retracted his hand form helping to keep her steady. Dash nodded as she felt his hand leave her shoulder.

"Yeah. I'm fine." She then looked down. "Can't say the same for the dude on the floor, however." She got off her seat as did Joseph. He gave him an experimental poke.

"Hey dude you ok?" He asked as the stallion groaned and tried once more to get off the ground. Joseph bent down and gripped the stallion around the waist and hoisted him up to his hooves. "That better?" He asked drunk. The pony then put a hoof on Joseph's shoulder looked him in the eyes. And then vomited all over Joseph.

10:12 P.M.

"That was a complete and utter horror show," Joseph mumbled as Dash tried to hold in her laughter. "Well look on the bright side." She said hovering in front of him as they made there way back to the Celestial Grand, Hotel. "at least you made someponie very happy." She winked causing Joseph to both groan and crack up into a small fit of laughter. Dash snickered right along with him.

"Yes. There was a happy ending for someponie at least." He shook his head. Then he shivered. "Why did he have to vomit on my shirt thow. Why not the floor?' He asked as he held his arm's around his bare chest. "Oh come here you," Dash said as she got behind him. "Hey what are you?" He was cut off as Dash wrapped her forehooves around his neck. Then her wings engulfed his shoulder's and finally her hind legs around his midsection.

"Better?" She asked as she lay her head next to his. His whole body was warm and tingly now, not just because of the pony.

"Very much." He said as he tried to keep his brain from wandering down gutter lane. "Good," Dash said as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Now let's hurry back to the other's so Twilight can clean your shirt." She said as Joseph slipped his hand behind him and grabbed Dash's hind legs.

"As you wish." He said as he set off in a sprint towards the direction of the hotel.

Meanwhile at the Sky Bar.

"So you puked all over him?" A cloaked pony asked the less drunk stallion, now thoroughly sober thanks to his recent purge. the stallion nodded.

"Oh yes." He burped. "completely soaked him." he said as he stood on shaky hooves. "You should have seen the look on his face." He staggered a bit but hen regained his footing. The cloaked figure stood up, tossed a few bit's the drunkard's way and then exited the building.

"Curious. What could this beast want with my Rainbow Dash?" He flared his wing's and he set off into the night, cloak flapping in the wind as he set off toward's a small town named Ponyville.