Chapter 2: Grief: Part 1

Twilight felt herself waking up. She wanted to open her eyes, but she felt so tired that her eyelids felt like there was a ton of lead keeping them close.

'What-' She thought, trying to make sense of what she was feeling. She felt something soft under her body and her head. A bed. There was a beeping sound next to her. As she breathed in heavily, the beeping sped up and slowed back down after a few moments. A hospital bed?

She opened her eyes, finally able to see her surroundings properly. The light blinded her before it started to fade. The room was just a typical hospital room. 'Why am I here-' A sudden pain jolted through Twilight, forcing a weak squeal from her.

'Okay, definitely in pain.' She relaxed and waited for the pain to subside before thinking of anything else. 'Why is my back in pain? Did I hit it wrong or break something?' As soon as the last thought went through her mind, she looked down to see if she could move her hind legs.

Lifting her back left hoof and right hoof, she saw that there was no paralysis. Lifting up her front hooves, there was a slight pain from her back. When she moved her wings...

“Ow, ow, ow, ow. Definitely from my wings.” Twilight said. She wondered what it was since nothing really came to mind from something recently. Slowly, she lifted up her robes to see what happened. The door opened with a doctor pony coming in to see her patient. The doctor was an earth pony that had a pale pink coat with a red mane in a ponytail.

“Good morning, Princess Twilight.” The doctor said in a monotone voice. “My name is Aiding Valor. I'm from Canterlot and was called her to help you recover. Here, take these.” She handed the princess a pill with a glass of water. Twilight gave the doctor a confused look, not knowing what the pill was for.

“It's a painkiller. I’m giving you a prescription for about a week. You'll need to take them if you want the pain to go away completely.”

“Why would I need painkillers for a week?” Twilight asked, swallowing the pill and drinking all of the water in the small cup. “Aren't my wings aching from a crash or something?”

“What are-” The Valor looked at Twilight like she had gone nuts before realizing why the lavender pony asked her that. “Damn it.” She said quietly with a sigh.

“What? What's wrong?” Twilight asked.

“By now, the pill should be in full effect. Please stand up and take off your robe.” The doctor said with a solemn tone. Standing up, the Princess looked around, but saw no IV bag in sight.

“You eventually healed enough for us to remove the IV bag.” Twilight smiled at the sad pony, albeit confused, and did as the doctor had asked. The doctor held a mirror, not wanting to let Twilight see right away. “I'm so sorry, your highness.”

“Sorry for wh-” Twilight stopped herself as she saw what was in the reflection. There were only bandaged stubs where her wings should have been. Her breath started to tighten, making her breath harder and harder with every passing second. Tears started to form up in her eyes, horrified by the sight. “Wha- How-”

“We had to surgically remove some bone that was protruding out from your injuries.” She said sadly, putting the mirror down on the table behind her. The doctor walked up to Twilight, who was looking back at her stubs, and held Twilight's cheek to keep her facing forward.

“You were unconscious for three days, which gave your mind enough time to change things and make it seem absolute. What happened was so traumatic that your mind has your memory under something else, like a dream. Can you recall anything that happened to you like this in a dream or imagination?”

Denial

“No, it- it's not true.” Twilight said, trying to think of a reason for why her wings weren't there. “They're just invisible, or- or there's some kind of spell that makes them appear as stubs. What happened wasn't real.” She paced back and forth in front of the doctor, nearly going into a panic attack. “The only thing that happened like this was in my dream where-”

“A bipedal lizard creature used a machete on you and cut off your wings while they were chained to the ceiling.” The doctor said, holding a report in her hooves. Twilight looked at her like she was some omnipotent psychic.

“Your friends gave us a report about what happened. One of the things that the creature said, by their accounts were, quote...” Twilight then started to hear Cadaver saying the same thing with Valor.

“'I will be the first and only person that came close to eating a god.'”
“I will be the first and only person that came close to eating a god!”

With that, the princess started to hyperventilate. She sat in place and put her front hooves on her chest, feeling it tighten with each breath. The doctor pony felt really bad for the princess, wanting to at least try to comfort her. From what she can tell, the princess was in perfect health, aside from the mental breakdown and her stubs.

“Princess, if you'd like, you can head on back home.” Valor said before Twilight's horn glowed. “Please remember to come see us in the morning so we can replace your-” Twilight zapped out of existence before the doctor could finish. “Bandages.” She finished with a disheartening tone. She walked over to the mirror and picked it up, looking at her own reflection.

“Celestia help that pony.”

“How come you guys won't tell me what happened?” Spike asked, still agitated at his friends for not telling him anything. He stood in a side room near the front door of the castle with the other five bearers of Harmony. “It's been three days ever since she left to get all of you. Now, after she's back, you won't tell me why she's in the hospital, let alone let me see her.”

“Spike, it-” Applejack tried to say, but couldn't find the right words to say. “It's more complicated than ya think.”

“What I think is that none of you want me to see her at all.”

“We're sorry, Spike. But we decided that what happened would be too much for you to handle.” Fluttershy said with as much sincerity as possible.

“Look, I'm sorry, but that sounds like the worst possible excuse to keep me from seeing Twilight.” He said sternly. He looked to Pinkie Pie in hopes to get something from her.

“Pinkie, you can tell me, right? I'd be very happy to know what happened to her.” Although he's never used it, Spike does know the basics of reverse psychology. Pinkie looked to her friends, seeing saddened looks on their faces. She knew that they all had sad faces, but she figured that they would be less sad if she didn't tell Spike. For now.

“I'm really, really, really, reALLy sorry, Spike. I- I can't tell you-” Pinkie said as sorry as possible, only to be interrupted by the little dragon.

“Can't or won't!” The dragon said, venom in his voice.

“Why you,” Rainbow muttered to herself, inaudible to the others. Just as she was going to move closer to Spike, she heard a zapping sound from outside. The others heard it too, meaning only one thing. “Twilight's hear!” With that, Spike started to head to the door, but was stopped by a white hoof in his way.

“Spike, listen.” Rarity started to say with an authoritative voice. “No matter how she looks, no matter what she's doing, and no matter why she's doing something, you be as positive and supportive as possible. If you do that, then I'll let you have as many gems as you want. Deal?” Spike was surprised that he didn't feel excited about the deal at all. If Rarity was willing to give him as many gems as he wanted for being supportive toward his surrogate mother, then it had to be bad.

“Deal.” Spike said, worried for his friend. He slowly made his way to the hall, not wanting to enter it. As Twilight entered her home, Spike started to hear her muttering, like somepony who was on the verge of insanity.

'Uh oh. That's not good.' Spike thought, remembering when she went insane from not getting Celestia a daily friendship report. Soon enough, he finally saw Twilight after such a long time, only to see that the bandaged stubs that had replaced her wings. Spike gasped from the sight, causing the princess to stop in place.

Slowly, she turned her head toward the group of friends in the side room. Spike saw that it wasn't their Twilight in control, only a lost pony seeing ghosts in front of her. The lost mare slowly walked toward the group with caution, followed by Spike doing the same.

“No, Spike. Don't-” Rarity tried to warn while whispering.

“Twilight, it's me. It's me, Spike.” Spike said, trying to get through to her as calmly as possible. “You remember me, right?” Both of them stopped less than a foot away. This prompted Twilight to look closer at her little helper, interested by something with him.

“Woah.” Twilight said before she grabbed onto Spike cheeks with her hooves. She moved them around, not caring if she was hurting him. “This feels... real!” She said with excitement.

“Twilight!” Spike said, muffled by Twilight painfully growing examination.

“I wonder.” She started to press Spike's cheeks painfully together. “Maybe I can crush it with my hooves to make it pop from this reality.” She kept on pressing, making the little dragon start to panic. Rarity calmly walked over to Twilight to try and stop her.

“Darling, listen.” Rarity said, putting a hoof on Twilight's fore leg. Without warning, the princess uppercut Rarity's jaw as soon as they made contact. Twilight backed away from the fashion pony, inches away from the doorway to the hall. She felt something wet on her hoof, confused since she was convinced that everyone in the room were constructs of some kind. She looked at her hoof only to see...

“Blood!?” Twilight quietly said, very much shocked by what she did. Looking at each pony in the room, she still wanted to believe that it was all some cruel joke by something. “No. This- This isn't real!”

“Yes it is, Twilight.” Applejack said softly. “Ya know it just as much as we do.”

“No. It's impossible. Maybe it- uh Discord playing some trick on me, a punishment that I didn't know about.” Twilight started to sound more insane with each passing second.

“Why Discord? You know that he reformed long ago.” Fluttershy said, a little offended by her friend's remark.

“Okay, maybe not him.” Twilight said with some guilt. “But that doesn't mean that someone or something is making me see things.”

“Twilight, you're scaring me.” Spike said, fear in his voice. “And not seeing you for three days doesn't help in the slightest.”

“I don't want to scare you, but none of this feels right.”

“How do you know that this isn't real?” Pinkie Pie asked, making Twilight move her stubs. “Aside from your wings. What else is screaming at you that this isn't real.”

“I don't know.” Twilight said, starting to cry. “I just have this feeling that-”

“That's just you being in denial.” Rainbow said, neither sympathetically nor harshly. Just informative. “It's alright to feel that way. If you want, we can leave you alone so you can think this through.” Twilight just stared at Rainbow Dash, shocked by her tone, or lack there of. But she saw that her voice couldn't hide how she looked, seeing sad eyes instead of ones filled with joy and pride in herself and her friends.

Twilight figured that the cyan pony could be real.

“Listen I...” Twilight started to say, but hesitated for a moment. “I'm going to lay down and, hopefully wake up from this nightmare. Either way, I'd like to be alone right now.” She started to head to her room to try and sleep from the emotional toll of the day. The others, aside from Spike, waited a couple of minutes before they went home themselves. Everyone just hoped that Twilight gets better.

Spike walked down one of the many halls in the castle to get something to eat. It had been another excruciating three days ever since Twilight came back from the hospital. As far as anyone knew, she was still in her denial phase. As the days went on, they all noticed that Twilight started to realize that her wings were actually gone. She realized, not accepted. Spike was worried by what Twilight's other behaviors will be in the following stages.

'Really hope you get through this, Twilight.' Spike thought, very worried and sad for his friend. Just as he walked past the central room with the map in it, he heard somepony wailing inside said room. 'Twilight?' He heard it again, this time noting that it was Twilight and that she was angry. Really, really, really angry.

Anger

“Twilight!” Spike said worriedly, throwing open the door to see what was wrong. He immediately closed it in order to block an oncoming fire wave. Carefully opening the door, the little helper saw that Twilight was in her next step and had her entire mane and tail a blaze.

“Damn it!!” Twilight wailed, sending out another wave of heat and fire. Although Spike really wanted to catch his friend swearing, he decided to keep to himself and let Twilight vent out her frustration.

“I swear to Celestia and all the gods of this world and the next, I will torment that little pest for what he did. I will strike fear into his eyes for even thinking of eating my wings! I will decimate his sickening lively hood! And then I'll-” Twilight said, stopping herself when she saw Spike behind the door, bracing for another wave. She then reverted back to her normal self and looked down at the floor. “Sorry, Spike.” She said angrily. “I didn't mean to-”

“Oh, no you don't.” Spike said while holding up his claw to stop Twilight. The princess was very much surprised by this gesture. “Here is what is going to happen. You are going to vent out all of your frustration. Not half or most of it, all of it.” He went to the map to climb up and sat on it to face Twilight.

“And it starts now.” He crossed his legs and folded his arms showing he wasn't going to move any time soon.

“Spike, you have no idea how I feel right now.” Twilight said, trying her best to hold her anger in check. “This is the most enraged that I've ever felt. I feel humiliated and completely outraged by Cadaver. But when I find him, I'm going to kill him, slowly. Or better yet, I'll rip off some of his limbs so that he knows what it feels like!” She snapped out of her rage induced monologue as she remembered that she was talking to her young assistant. This made her hate herself, adding on to the already large amount of anger.

“Well, as extreme as that may be, how do you know that he's still at the run down house.” Spike said calmly, like her making an extreme threat was normal. “By this point, he's probably gone somewhere else in Equestria, maybe even outside of your jurisdiction.”

“Then I'll put out a bounty on his head. In a land of ponies, griffins, dragons, and the like, it can't be hard to find a bipedal lizard!” Twilight moved toward a part of the map that had some papers, a quill, and an ink well. “Or if their too scared or uncaring, I'll hunt him down myself. But, I don't-” Her anger flared up again, making her shove the miscellaneous items to the side, sending papers flying and making the little ink well smash on the ground. Spike looked closer at the flying papers, seeing bounty posters for the lizard creature, but having the various crimes crossed out. The Princess probably thought said crimes weren't good enough to convince anyone to hunt Cadaver.

“Twilight?”

“I don't know if this is going to change me into a different pony. I know that it's the grief talking, but everything just seems to anger me much more easily than before.” She sat on the floor and put both of her fore hooves on her head, crying from her overwhelming anger. “I don't know what to do.” Spike walked over to the crying pony and hugged her.

“Hey, it's okay. We'll get through this like we always do.” He then thought of something that might undo her grief. “I know. Why don't we read some books in the library. That'll cheer you up.” Twilight looked at the young dragon with a smile and wiped away her tears.

“Thanks, Spike. But I don't think that-” Just then, her eyes went wide and looked at the ground. “Wait.” She quietly said, scaring her assistant a little. “That's it!” She looked to Spike, giving him a huge smile. “Spike, you're a genius!” Twilight picked up her assistant and spun him and herself in place.

“Really!?” He asked, very confused by her statement. “Why's that?”

“Don't you see,” She put down the little dragon before she went on. “One of the books might have the answer!”

“The answer to- Oooohhh.” He realized what she meant by the answer.

Bargaining

“If we can find the right book, or even a series of books, we might be able to find something that could get my wings back!”

“Hold on,” Spike said as firm as possible. “What makes you say that? Why would anypony want a spell like that?

“Well, in case Celestia or Luna lost their wings. They're thousands of years old, so there might be a high chance of a book or spell that can bring back alicorn wings!” Immediately, Spike knew what he needed to do.

“I'll go get the others. You can wait here if you want.”

“Okay, thank you!” She said with a grateful smile on her face. As Spike left, Twilight ran to the library and got as many books that had histories, legends, and myths that date back to thousands of years in Equestria's lifetime, even some dating back before it was officially founded. Just as she found the last book of a little over six dozen for her hunt, Spike, along with the rest of her friends, entered the library. “Oh, thank you so much for coming by!”

“Think nothing of it, sugarcube.” Applejack said, happy to see Twilight in a less sour mood.

“Spike told us that you might be able to find some remedy to get your wings back. How likely do you think that is, darling?” Rarity said, not convinced that it will work.

“Well, considering that Celestia and Luna are thousands of years old, we might be able to find a legend or even a lead to find a way to bring back alicorn wings.” Twilight said with a huge smile on her face. Everyone, except Rainbow, just looked at each other with worried looks.

“Um, Twilight? How do you know that there is a book like that or even a spell? Both sisters still have their wings, so it might not have been needed and they just decided to get rid of that kind of information.” Spike face-palmed himself when Fluttershy said that.

“As a precaution way back when. Besides, as long as there are any alicorns in this world, then finding a way to bring back their wings would be essential.”

“But what if they forgot about it or even lost it over the years?” Pinkie Pie said.

“It wouldn't hurt to look, right?” Rainbow Dash said. “Besides, if it's not here, then it could be in the Crystal Empire or even in Canterlot.” Her friends, even Twilight, was surprised to hear Rainbow Dash, of all ponies, to suggest such a good point. “I mean, it'd only make sense.”

“You have a good point, Dashie.” Twilight said, making Rainbow blush a little. “Now then, let's get to work, shall we?” Everyone else hummed in agreement and got to work right away.

As they kept on reading, the group had stumbled across some references to alicorn wings, but it was mostly someone admiring them instead of bringing them back. Some of the books were in old ponish text, making it harder to pinpoint a spell or ritual.

Twilight anticipated this, and decided to give them the old ponish words of alicorns, wings, and restoration. Even though the books had said words in it, they could never find the words close enough together for it to be a restoration spell or ritual.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash?” Applejack asked, getting the rainbow pegasus' attention. “Do ya actually think we'll find anything related to getting her wings back?”

“Honestly, I don't know.” Rainbow said, unaware that Twilight was listening. “But even if there's nothing here, I'll still help her with this.” She looked to the lavender princess, smiling. “No matter what.”

“I think I have something!~” Pinkie Pie said, holding a dark purple book with a gold frame. “I found a chapter that says how to restore wings.”

“Really!?” Twilight asked, very much excited.

“Yeah. A sort of ritual. Let me read through it real quick.” Pinkie opened the book to the chapter and began reading. Her face went from excitement to slight confusion. She stopped at one paged and started to go pale, her face turning to absolute horror and her hair deflating.

“What's wrong?” Twilight took the book and read the same page that Pinkie had stopped at. Just like the party pony, she also had a face of true horror and confusion.

“What's it say?” Rainbow asked. Twilight angrily threw the book toward Rainbow Dash and covered her face with her fore hooves. The pegasus picked up the book and read it herself. She too was horrified by it's contents. She looked to Applejack with an apologetic face, scaring the apple farmer. “For Twilight to get her wings back, it would need 25 earth ponies to complete the ritual.”

“Wait, as in getting rid of their magic?” Applejack asked, making Rainbow shake her head.

“They would need to be sacrificed, magic, body, and soul to bring back alicorn wings.” The room fell silent by what Rainbow Dash had said. Twilight felt as though her faith in the ancients had diminished substantially. She was afraid that that was the only way to get her wings back.

“Now, hold on.” Rarity said, getting everyone's attention. “It is a travesty to learn that this sort of thing exists, and we can all hope that it was never tested, but that doesn't mean that it's the end of our hunt. We still have the Crystal Empire and Canterlot to go. We might even find something in the Cloudsdale library since it's a pegasus dominate place.”

“That is a good point.” Fluttershy said. “Hopefully, you'll be able to find it in some other place.” Twilight smiled from that statement, but immediately looked at Fluttershy in surprise from the last bit.

“You can't come?” Twilight asked, genuinely confused.

“Yeah.” Fluttershy said timidly. “By now, the food that I gave to the animals should be gone. If not now, then very soon.”

“That's fair.” The princess said. “Do you have anything big lately, Rarity?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I got a huge order of dresses the other day, and I can't afford to delay them for even a single day. Sorry, darling.” Rarity said in a sad tone. Twilight just nodded in acknowledgment.

“Applejack?”

“Sorry. That's a no-can-do, sugarcube. We got hit hard yesterday, but we all knew that it'd take 2 days to clean everything and keep up with our daily chores.” Again, Twilight nodded.

“Pinkie Pie?” She said, half expecting her to say the same thing.

“I don't think so. But I'll head over anyways and try to meet the two of you at the hot air balloon. If I can't make it in time, then don't worry about me.” Pinkie said happily.

With that, Twilight and Rainbow went toward the hot air balloon so they could head to Cloudsdale first since it was much closer than Canterlot. Also, Twilight wanted to save Canterlot for last, what with it being one of the oldest places in all of Equestria.

They went to the receptionist of the local library to find the same era that the ritual book was in. The receptionist lead them to said place and let them go at it.

As they searched for hours, Rainbow found a pale blue book with the same frame with the exception of the color being silver instead of gold. Reading it, they both found out that it was the same ritual that had 15 pegasi instead. Twilight put the books back and marked Cloudsdale as another dead-end.

“How?” Twilight asked, heading back to the hot air balloon. “How does Cloudsdale, of all places, has a book like that?”

“Beats me. Maybe a historian from way back when decided to collect a bunch of old books and got that one while searching.” Rainbow said, putting some logic on this coincidental discovery. “What now?”

“I’m gonna go home for the night and we’ll search the Crystal Empire library tomorrow.”

“Okay.” The 2 ponies went their separate ways and went to sleep for their next destination. The next morning, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity went on their way to the Crystal Empire.

Rarity tagged along since she had a free day and wanted to find another Boutique location. Either way, the train ride up was mostly quiet, some ponies looking at Twilight every now and then.

She even heard some of them say that it wasn’t actually the Princess of Friendship. After the ride up, Twilight and Rainbow went to the crystal library while Rarity went around to find a suitable location for her ever expanding fashion empire.

“So, what are the odds that we’ll find the same kind of book like the last 2?” Rainbow asked.

“Not sure.” Twilight said with slight worry in her voice. “But this is one of the much older places in Equestria, so there might be some better way to do it than sacrifice.”

“If you say so. I’m still worried it’ll be for unicorns. Or even alicorns.”

“You worry too much, Dashie.” She said with great confidence. “If there’s any place that will have non-sacrificial means to restore my wings, then it’s both Canterlot and The Crystal-”

One hour later

“Oh, come on!” Twilight exclaimed before she banged her head on the table that had many books on it, including a pink book with a light blue frame that had an acrylic design for obvious reasons.

“Hey, there. How’s-” Cadence started to say, but cut herself off by the scene before her. She had many feelings about what she saw. Shock from Twilight's lack of wings, nostalgia from the books surrounding her sister-in-law, and amusement by her sister’s face planted to the table. Twilight remembered she didn’t tell Cadence or Shining Armor about her wings. “What-”

“Lost wings to a pony-eating lizard thing, trying to find a way to restore them, found a book that requires sacrificing 5 unicorns to get them back.” Twilight said with pure frustration, muffled by the table. The Princess of Love looked at her sister with sorrowful eyes. She walked to the face-planted pony and patted her back.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll find a solution soon enough.” Cadence said. She then realized something. “How long has it been since you lost your wings?” Twilight looked up and thought about it before answering.

“About a week.” Twilight said sheepishly. Cadence was shocked.

“You didn’t tell us about your wings for a whole week!?” Cadence said, her voice echoing through out the empty library. She covered her mouth with her front hooves from the sudden outburst.

“Sorry, princess.” Rainbow Dash said. “She was out for 3 days and went through some of her grief during the other 3 and today.” Cadence looked to her now wingless sister with sorrow. She figured that these past few days took a great toll on Twilight. The Princess of Love walked over to her and put a hoof on her shoulder.

“It’s alright, Twilight. I’m sure you’ll find something that will get them back or you’ll move on.” Cadence said with sincerity. “I’m positive you’ll get through this.” Twilight looked at Cadence and gave her a smile, though she was feeling like her search would be nothing but tragedy and dead ends.

“Thanks, Cadence.” Twilight said. “I’ll be fine. But just in case,” She levitated the framed book to her sister-in-law. “Please put this somewhere safe. Don’t want somepony to get desperate and use it.”

“Fair enough.” Cadence took the book with her own magic and walked over to the door of the library. “Now let’s go to the castle before Shining-”

“Well, how’s my favorite sister-” Shining Armor said before seeing Twilight’s wing stubs with a gasp. Both princesses just looked at the white stallion with deadpan faces.

The group of ponies went to the castle for some time, letting Twilight explain what happened to her one week prior. After 2 hours of conversing, Twilight and Rainbow went back to the train station to head back to Ponyville. Well that’s what Rainbow and Rarity did, but Twilight got a ticket for Canterlot.

“I’m gonna head to Canterlot before it gets too late, if any of you don’t mind.” Twilight said.

“Well, since you already have the ticket, we can’t join you even if we wanted to, darling.” Rarity said. Twilight smiled nervously from her late statement.

“Sorry, I’m just excited from getting this over with. But hey, if I do find something that can restore my wings without sacrifice, then you and the girls will be the first to know.” Twilight smiled at her friends, silently saying it was a promise. The other two smiled back, seeing truth in her words.

They all talked on the way to Canterlot, mostly Rainbow and Rarity, and said goodbye to each other at Canterlot. Twilight walked down the streets of Canterlot, before she saw where the sun was. It was becoming late afternoon.

The princess then decided to teleport to the library instead of walking over. As she prepared the spell, she heard some ponies talking about a diminished position. She couldn’t hear the rest of it before she zapped to entrance of the library.

She headed to the same chronological area of the last three areas. She narrowed it down to the supposed time of the ritual books.

If memory served her, the era of the rituals came from some long war with an unknown species. It was supposedly the largest war Equestria had fought, but it only had the exact records of the Equestrian side. She read all of the available books in that era. She looked…

And looked…

And looked…

She kept on looking, but found no evidence or even mention of the pony sacrifice rituals anywhere. She went to the restricted area she heard a lot about and looked there. Still no sign of wing restoration or any mention of the rituals. It’s like they don’t exist or…

“No.” Twilight said with fear in her voice. She ran out of the library and sprinted straight for the throne room. As she made her way to the entrance of the throne room, she saw that the last of the visiting ponies had made there way out of the room

It seemed as though the court sessions were done early, what with them being content with the sessions. Some of them looked at Twilight, some with shock, other with disgust. The lavender pony didn’t bother reading into why they had such faces because of her eagerness. The crowd finally got out just enough for Twilight to squeeze herself into the throne room.

“Celestia!” Twilight said, getting the sun princess’ attention. The white alicorn was at first shocked to see Twilight, but was actually relieved to see her former student running toward her. Spike’s message to the princess really helped. Twilight screeched in front of Celestia, only being a foot away from the princess herself. “Um… Can we talk for a minute before you call it a day?”

“Why certainly Twilight.” Celestia said happily. “There’s still plenty of time before I need to lower the sun. Go on.”

“Thanks.” Twilight said before she cleared her throat. “Well, see...” Twilight had told her former mentor what she had been trying to search, from the accidental discovery of the rituals to finding even more of them. The newest princess kept making it apparent that she was just trying to find a way to restore her wings without any sacrifice.

All the while Celestia listened and started to feel sorry for the poor mare. She had a consistent worried look, but smiled every time Twilight said that she wanted to find a none-sacrificing way to restore her wings. “So, what I kinda wanted to ask you is if you may or may not know a, I don’t know, none-ritual way to restore alicorn wings?”

Twilight couldn’t have been more cautious yet persistent in her question if she tried harder. Celestia just looked at the lavender alicorn with pity. Luna also had the same look. Twilight didn’t like where it was going.

“I’m sorry, Twilight, but we had to… outlaw that sort of practice over 1,000 years ago.” Celestia said, accidentally making her former student recoil in shock. Twilight had all hope of restoring her wings in a single sentence, making her rage boil.

“Why!?” Twilight yelled at her former mentor. “Why would you outlaw something that would restore your own limbs!? What would happen if Luna lost her wings!? Or Cadence!? Or how I am now!?” She started to cry like her whole life was in ruin. Celestia looked to her sister, who nodded back at the sun princess.

“These ritual had a side effect that nopony could predict.” Celestia started, seeing Twilight look at her dead in the eyes, as though she had committed a horrendous crime from just speaking.

“They could make any who use it go farther and farther down madness.” Luna said, continuing Celestia’s explanation. “They could even start the creation of a different persona. And it would make that persona very dangerous to harbor.” She hung her head low with shame.

“How-” Twilight started to ask.

“The enemies fromour largest war had the cunning idea of dismembering our wings while in battle.” Celestia explained. “However, they would target Luna since she was the most careless out of the two of us.” Luna nodded in acknowledgment, confirming that it was true. Not only did they use the rituals, but it resulted in the creation of Nightmare Moon. Twilight was enraged once more.

“Why would you do this!? You knew that it costed lives, but apparently you didn’t care enough to try and make one that didn’t include sacrifice!”

“Twilight.” Celestia said sadly.

“But I guess it didn’t matter in the end since you got your sister her wings back. Definitely worth the lost of all that life and her damn mind!”

“Twilight.” Now slightly angry.

“Were you seriously so concerned that you couldn’t even find some sort of fucking alternative to those rituals!”

“Twilight!” Now restrained anger.

“When push comes to shove it’s obvious you don’t a shit about what the hell happens to your own fucking people!!”

“ENOUGH!!” Celestia said with her Canterlot voice, forcing Twilight to the ground. The lavender mare realized too late. She went too far. “How dare you tell me what is best for my sister! In hindsight it was idiotic to do such rituals, but we had no idea what they would do! And I didn’t just throw away their lives, they volunteered, even after witnessing the first ritual! They wanted to die by servicing Luna in her time of need, since there was no alternative that could even be conceived! So, don’t you dare say that I don’t care about my people!”

The white alicorn breath heavily after her rant, before really looking at her former student. Twilight looked at her in horror, even after she was done. Not from the diarch’s fury, but from how poorly she judged the princesses. She looked to the floor and was in deep thought before she finally started to cry.

“I’m sorry, I-” Twilight tried to say, but started to choke up. As she laid there, she put her hooves in her face, her sadness taking full force of her mistake. “I just wanted to restore your gift that I squandered. I didn’t mean to call you a monster. I-” She felt a wing hug her in comfort, seeing that it was Celestia’s, who was laying right next to her. Twilight hugged her mentor’s front leg, crying right into her shoulder. The diarch comfort her more, letting the bearer of magic cry to her hearts content.

“I know.” Was all Celestia said as Twilight continued to cry.

Depression

Author's Note

Alright, I’m gonna say 2 things. This is a 2 parter now and I’m giving the middle finger to scheduled chapter releases. Also, I added the whole ‘why Luna went crazy’ thing for a more credible way of not doing the rituals and drama. That part is not my head canon. Aside from that, see you next chapter. (Have fun)