Yan-Dash

by Brony Scientist SLV

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Violence, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Dark, Soarin, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1668

There are times that love-magic is an acceptable excuse to not doing your job. This is not one of them.

Cadence was the Princess of love, and it was her duty to help those in need to find the one they were destined for.

And, sure, sometimes ponies have unforeseen baggage, or a unexpected facet of their personality that she couldn’t foresee. But, even with all that, Cadence is the Princess of love, and it was her duty to help mend the broken hearts of those she found.

Too bad that she misinterpreted the situation completely, and kinda/sorta pushed Rainbow Dash into committing an assault.

She's not gonna need love-Magic. She's gonna need some band-aids.

Published 2019-04-16 09:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-04-16 09:50:01 UTC

A punch to the schnoz, or better known as a high-speed boop

Cadence was, if anything, an actively engaging princess.

Unlike, say, Princess Luna, who kept herself practically locked up at all during the waking hours, studying the arts of magic, history, and statesmareship, only visiting the common-folk to keep them safe from their nightmares, or Princess Celestia, who had the commoners come to her as to keep them from interrupting her actual duties, Cadence felt that, to best serve her people, it was best to actually mesh with them. To walk the same streets, to eat the same food, to breathe the same air.

And, for the most part, it worked. It allowed her to see those whose hearts ached, to spot those who stewed in loneliness, and to aid those whose disputes were of a romantic nature. It gave her the reputation of being the most easily engageable Princess, known far and wide to help even the smallest, poorest of peasants when it came to affairs of the heart.

But the heart was a complicated thing. There were always complications; sometimes, a couple's morals simply couldn't mesh, or their desires simply too conflicting. But, for the most-part, she did her duties, and she did them well. She had become a master of spotting those who found their hearts longing, and a even greater master at getting complete strangers to confess to her their worries and fears. Maybe it was the crown, or maybe it was simply her own reputation for healing those hearts that desired it, but for the most part, it worked.

And, when it didn't?

Well, that was what her magic was for. She couldn't help those who stuck their heads in the sand after all, and while she used her magic sparingly and only when genuinely necessary, it was still an option for the most difficult, complex, or... obstinate of cases. Of marital disputes due to situations outside either's control, or a selfish partner that has lost sight of what mattered most. Of jilted lovers and unfaithful spouses and grieving couples.

An option for only the most extreme of situations.

An option that was getting more and more tempting by the minute.

"And... then, he... Ugh. You know what, It doesn't matter."

Rainbow Dash was being vague. Difficult. Unhelpful.

Frankly, she was wasting Cadence's time. The mare was seemingly afraid to say anything, to actually elaborate on what was going on, and so far, all she had gathered so far was that there was someone named Soarin involved, and that she was angry at him.

She knew it wasn't an emergency, nor was it a worrisome situation; but at the same time, she knew it was romance related, her magic near-relentlessly pulling her towards the mare, telling her to intervene. A romance of import, perhaps? A soulmate situation, on the precipice of finding itself unrealized? She couldn't tell, but the actually evidence said otherwise; instead pointed towards whatever was happening to be either a small lovers spat, or the result of a mare pining over a crush who fell for another. One, a problem that typically solved itself, or the other, a no-real-answer kinda situation, beyond a cup of cocoa and a consoling pat.

"So... what happened again?"

Dash just let out another sigh, and mumbled a little.

"I just... But I know I shouldn't... Ugh. It's stupid."

It probably was. Dangit, Shining Armor was waiting for her. Tonight was date night, and while he could understand that duty called, that didn't mean that a three hour delay over some mare all heartbroken over a colt with wandering eyes was a good excuse, even if said mare was one of his little sister's best friends.

She needed to figure this out, fast. At least so she knew which direction to point her.

"So... this pony you're upset about...are they your special somepony, or...?"

At this, Dash perked up, the light blush that had been on her face growing at the implication.

"What!? No, no, I... Ugh."

So, crush it was.

Cadence let herself revel in her small victory, but before she could actually feel it proper, the nearby clock tower chimed. She was officially three hours late.

Nope, it was time to end this, now.

"So... I think you should put in some effort into trying."

The words came casually, imbued with her magic. It wasn't anything off the wall, just a hint of desire and more than a smidgen of protective aggression. Enough to push her to try and ask the pony in question out, or at the very least, flirt with them.

"... Trying?"

Cadence felt the magic take hold, and smiled, imbuing some more of her magic into her target. She didn't want this to fail after all, and she did genuinely hope that her sister-in-law's best friend would find happiness. But, not at the expense of her own; She only got one date night a month after Flurryheart was born.

"Yes, try."

However, to Cadence's surprise, Rainbow Dash didn't seem any more influenced. Maybe she was strong willed, or maybe she was genuinely terrified of the results, but Cadence didn't have the time for a several-hour counseling session. So, she just ramped up the magic, the desire and possessiveness.

"But... I... He's..."

"If you want someone, you have to make that step."

Why was she resisting so much? There was no real reason why the mare would fight so hard to resist her magic.

Maybe just a bit more...

"You... You know what? You're right."

At that, Cadence let out a sigh of relief.

"I'm gonna go kick his ass."

Wait, what?

"I'm gonna kick all their asses."

Before Cadence could ask, or even blink, the rainbow mare shot off, disappearing in the blink of an eye, leaving Cadence in the metaphorical dust.

Welp, so much for date night.

"Dash, wait!"

Rainbow Dash wasn't a pony that talked about her "feelings".

It simply wasn't her style. After all, feelings were for ponies who were into all that mushy stuff; something that was, like, the opposite of being a Wonderbolt.

And she was a Wonderbolt. One of the best. A team player, a professional athlete, and a pony for all those little fillies and colts to look up to.

So, when Soarin started flirting with Twilight...

She didn't really know how to react.

After all, Twilight was her's. Metaphorically, at least; It wasn't like she actually asked her out yet. But still, her intent was there, and she had made it screamingly clear. She hung out with her more than any other of her friends, stayed the night at least once a week, bragged about her to all of her fellow Wonderbolts, the works. She couldn't think of a more obvious way to declare it. But, regardless of her super-obvious declaration, Soarin seemed to either not notice, or worse, not care, and had started to, in the words of Pinkie, "flirt her up."

And it was infuriating, and heck, Twilight wasn't even receptive. If anything, the nerd probably didn't even recognize all the wing-fluffs and nudges that Soarin gave her, the weird, pie-based metaphors he made towards her and how ridiculous they were, nor the efforts of all the other Stallions around Ponyville. But Dash did. And now, after her weird little feelings-talk with Cadence, she knew what she had to do, too.

Kick Soarin's ass.

It was stupidly obvious, now that she thought of it. Twilight was *her's*, and if she wanted to keep something, she had to fight for it. That was just how the world worked.

So, with that in mind, Dash shot towards the Wonderbolt headquarters. It only took a short moment for a pony as fast as her, and after she arrived, she practically kicked down the front doors.

And spotted her prey.

Soarin, the fool, didn't even seem to notice the impending doom.

Soarin was having a good day.

No, he was having a great day. His shift as Team lead had gone splendidly with nary a hitch, the book series he loved had gotten a confirmed sequel, and he had even managed to finally drag the Princess of friendship a bit more out of her shell. Sure, it had taken several awkward stories, and a couple friendly nudges, but in the end, Twilight actually laughed at one of his jokes.

He couldn't wait to tell his wife. Spitfire was gonna be so happy that he was expanding their social circle beyond work. At this point, it was literally just work friends.

She might even bake him a pie, once she got out of "work" mode and turned into her sappy "wife" persona.

Today was gonna be-

*SLAM*

The front doors to the Wonderbolts headquarters were practically kicked in, and for a moment, Soarin found himself froze in place in shock. But, after a moment, he spotted the source of the disturbance; Rainbow Dash, and he felt the shock quickly abate. He was surprisingly fond of the rookie; She was brilliant, and rather pleasant to talk to. Plus, she was now the focus of work-Spitfire, leaving him, the previous rookie, free from his wife's work-based tyranny.

"Oh, uh, hey Dash!"

Dash, for the most part, didn't look very happy to see him.

"So, uh, aren't you off today?

Rainbow Dash didn't answer, and instead, continued to stare at him.

She looked rather... hostile. Granted, it wasn't the most uncommon expression,but he usually knew what he did to earn it.

"You!"

Soarin just sat there, confused.

"Me."

At that, Dash leapt forward, and Soarin found himself immediately regretting his choice of a response.

Author's Note

So, I once had an amazing idea for this story.

No idea where it went. So, I'll just post it, label it as incomplete, and maybe I'll remember and continue on it.

In the mean time, here's... something. I have a bit more, and may build off of it, but until then, here we are.