For The Pony Who Has Everything

by Tumbleweed

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie
Length: 4940

After a re-gifting snafu, Starlight Glimmer and Trixie must save Hearth's Warming Eve. Ponyville is probably doomed.

OR:

How Starlight Glimmer and Trixie Ruined Saved Hearth's Warming Eve.

After a re-gifting mixup, Twilight Sparkle's life is in Starlight & Trixie's hooves! Can the two of them save Hearth's Warming Eve? Perhaps more importantly, can they do it without anypony noticing?

Ponyville is probably doomed.

Published 2017-12-02 15:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-11 21:42:14 UTC

Chapter 1

“Twilight Sparkle is a talentless hack!”

“Trixie!” Starlight Glimmer put a hoof to her mouth, aghast. “You know that's not right.”

“You're right, as usual.” Trixie said with a roll of her eyes. “I should be more accurate. Princess Twilight Sparkle is a talentless hack.”

Starlight Glimmer nervously peeked out the door to her bedroom, hoping nopony was in the hallway to hear Trixie's ranting. Seeing nopony, she sighed in relief and turned back to her wizard-hatted friend. “I know you're mad you didn't get cast as Clover the Clever in this year's Hearth's Warming Eve pageant--”

“I am not mad, Starlight. I am depressed. To think, that a performer such as I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, will not get to grace the stage for the people of Ponyville in one of the most famed roles of our age? It's tragic! What makes it worse is that Princess Twilight Sparkle has abused her royal power to make sure that she and her friends get all the best parts! It's nepotism, plain and simple.”

“Twilight just wants to make sure the pageant is the best it can be-- since she and her friends have done it before, that means they've had a lot of practice.”

“Ha!” Trixie shook her head. “I'm telling you, Starlight, I have more talent in my left hoof than the whole lot of them put together!”

“You really shouldn't talk about our friends like that.” Starlight Glimmer said as she realized she'd be writing a Friendship Report for Twilight far sooner than she'd anticipated this week.

“But it's true! It's true and you know it!” Trixie huffed. “I mean, the next time some giant monster or whatever tries to eat Equestria, I'll be more than happy to let the Princess and her friends do the Elements of Harmony thing and save us all. That's what they're good at. What they are not good at, I should note, is acting. Or directing, for that matter. Would you believe Twilight Sparkle wouldn't even let me add any pyrotechnics? She just kept on going on about the 'fire code' or something. Hmf!”

“Hearth's Warming Eve isn't about who gets the best part in a play. It's about--”

“Friendship and fellowship and being kind to your fellow pony, yes, yes.” Trixie gestured aimlessly with one hoof.

“And part of that is making sure I find the perfect present for Twilight. She's taught me so much-- and ever since she opened my eyes about Hearth's Warming Eve last year, I've been wanting to make this one super special for her. I just ... don't have any idea how to do that. I mean, she's a Princess. She's already got everything she could ever want--”

“Don't worry, Starlight. I, the Thoughtful and Generous Trixie, have got you covered. As I have taken the liberty of getting Twilight Sparkle a gift on your behalf, thus sparing you from the commercialized frenzy of holiday shopping!”

“Really?” Starlight Glimmer said, and a smile graced her face. “That's ... actually really nice of you, Trixie.”

“Would you expect anything less from a pony as magnanimous as I?”

Starlight politely didn't answer the question, and instead went for a different tack. “What did you get Twilight, anyway?”

“I have two words for you: Gift. Basket.”

“What?”

“GIFT BASKET.” Trixie said, louder.

“No, I know what a gift basket is-- but, that just seems a little impersonal, don't you think?”

“As it would happen, I do not think.” Trixie smiled. “A gift basket's only impersonal if you just get one pre-made. The real way assemble a gift basket is to personalize it with stuff you've got laying around. And if you just so happen to find a use for little bits and bobs you haven't got a use for anymore, there you go.”

“Trixie, you're re-gifting Twilight?”

“It's recycling! That's good, right? Besides, after we saved Equestria from those Changelings, you've been flooded with promotional swag. So I grabbed a fruitcake I knew you wouldn't eat because you can't stand raisins, a few bottles of wine I knew you wouldn't drink, since you prefer whites over reds, and topped it all off with that fancy flower you had on top of your bookshelf. Not only have I solved your problem, but I've also shown how well I know you because we're best friends!” Trixie pulled Starlight in for an enthusiastic hug.

Starlight tensed, eyes going wide. “What flower on top of the bookshelf?” She said, eyes flitting to a conspicuously empty stretch of shelving.

“Oh, that blueish-blackish thing in the glass dome.”

“That's what you put in the gift basket?”

“I thought it added a personal touch.” Trixie blinked, and tilted her head in confusion. “That ... wasn't too personal, was it? Like it wasn't the last thing you had to remember some old boyfriend, was it? Because I thought you were over that Sunburst thing.”

“It wasn't 'personal' so much as dangerous.” Starlight Glimmer wriggled out of Trixie's hug, then shut the door to her bedroom, wary.

“The thorns weren't that big.”

“Not the thorns! The rest of it!” Starlight Glimmer rubbed at the bridge of her nose, and lowered her tone so that nopony passing by might overhear her. “That flower was a Mercyblack Rose-- an exceedingly rare specimen from the darkest depths of the Everfree Forest. It's a psychic parasite-- the flower entrances its victims with their deepest dreams, and then feeds on their body as they waste away!”

“And you have one ... why?”

“I used to be kind of evil?” Starlight Glimmer winced. No matter how often she said it, the words were painful to say.

“Yes, yes, but that was just a phase. All the best ponies try to take over the world at some point. I mean, I did,” said Trixie. “It doesn't explain why you have it-- or, well, had it, really – now.”

“I thought I should hang onto the Mercyblack Rose so it wouldn't hurt anypony.”

“Don't you think you should have put it somewhere a little, I don't know, safer?”

“It was in a case! On the top shelf! I wasn't expecting anypony to foist it on the Princess of Friendship!” Starlight Glimmer snapped, then reined herself in, rubbing at her temples. “Sorry, sorry. I'm just a little ... nervous, that's all. But we just need to keep calm, and be rational, and get the Mercyblack Rose back before it kills Twilight. No big deal, right?”

“Right, right.” Trixie mused. “But ... what if Twilight Sparkle got just a little whiff of the flower? Not enough to kill her, but perhaps just enough to incapacitate her so that somepony would have to step up as an understudy in the part of Clover the Clever? The show must go on, you know.”

Starlight Glimmer's jaw dropped. “That is what you're thinking about?”

“I'm just trying to be optimistic!” Trixie said, voice coming dangerously close to a whine. “It's either that or Twilight Sparkle gets herself killed and then we get the blame for it and are exiled to the moon forever.”

“Yeah, that is the more likely scenario.” Starlight Glimmer said, and shook her head. “But that's not going to happen! All we have to do is find that gift basket before Twilight Sparkle opens it up. Easy. Where did you see it last?”

“I left it in that big pile of presents under the tree in the main hall-- but that's where everypony is! They'll notice us stealing a present for sure.”

“Unless ... “ Starlight Glimmer rubbed at her chin. “Unless we go there when everypony else is distracted.”

“You mean--”

“The pageant! See? It's a good thing you didn't get cast.” Starlight Glimmer said, triumphant. “Now come on, Trixie. We've got a lot of work to do if we're going to save Hearth's Warming Eve!”

“And our own tails.” Trixie added on.

“Those too.”

Chapter 2

“So that's the plan.” Starlight Glimmer rolled up her hastily drawn map of the castle, and tucked it away in a cardboard tube. This done, she headed for her bedroom door, ready to head deeper into the castle. “Between your skill at illusions, and my ability with magic, it should be easy to get the gift basket without anypony noticing. All we have to do is avoid-- Twilight!”

Starlight forced a grin as she found the Princess of Friendship standing on the other side of the door. “You startled me!” Trixie, in the meanwhile, reflexively cowered behind Starlight.

“I've been looking for you two.” Twilight said.

“You have?” Starlight blanched.

Twilight nodded. “I just wanted to apologize to Trixie for our ... disagreement.” Twilight walked past Starlight and smiled at the bewildered-looking unicorn behind her. “I can appreciate your enthusiasm for the Hearth's Warming Eve play, and I know you had some really ... interesting ideas, but I just wish you'd mentioned it a few weeks ago. Right now, we've been rehearsing so much that it's impossible to change things so late in the process. But, if you like, I'll make sure to include you in next year's pageant.”

“Oh, um. Yes! I'd love to help out.”

“Great! I'm sure next year's pageant will be even better than this one! But 'til then, I hope you guys enjoy this year's performance-- I made sure to reserve both of you seats. Front row center!”

“Thank you, Twilight, but that wasn't necessary--”

“Of course it was!” Twilight chirped, cheery. “It's gonna be a packed house this year, and I'd be really disappointed if I didn't see you guys during the performance. I think you'll really, really enjoy it-- even if there aren't any fireworks.” She nudged Trixie, who forced her smile a little wider in response. “And after the play, we'll all go to the main hall to open gifts-- I already saw the one you got for me, Starlight-- I can't wait to see what it is!”

“I ... hope you like it?” Starlight Glimmer said.

“Good thing I don't have to wait very long, huh?” she nudged Starlight playfully, and then glanced up at the clock. “Oh! And now I have to go start getting into costume! See you at the show!” And with that, Twilight dashed out of the room in a decidedly un-regal manner.

“We're doomed.” Trixie finally let her smile fade.

“So this changes things, but we can work with it. If we can get out of there during the curtain call, maybe Twilight won't notice?”

“But we're going to actually have to watch this fiasco. From the front row! I bet Pinkie Pie's going to over enunciate her lines and shower us in spit. Shower us!”

“We have bigger things to worry about, Trixie.”

“Fine. But don't complain to me once Pinkie Pie slobbers all over you.”

Later ...

“C'mon!” Starlight Glimmer tugged at Trixie's elbow as the crowd rose for a standing ovation.

“About time we got out of here.” Trixie murmured, her voice muffled by the applause rolling off of the crowd. The two unicorns kept their heads low as they scooted out of the front row, sliding awkwardly past the other ponies. As soon as they made it away from the audience, Starlight Glimmer's horn glowed, casting a quick teleportation spell to zap herself and Trixie to the castle's main hall. A massive, ornament-festooned fir towered at one end of the room. Presents in shiny wrapping paper were stacked around it like the walls of a small, festive fortress.

“We don't have long.” Starlight Glimmer levitated all the presents up with her horn, and started cycling through them in search of the gift basket of doom. “We've got to find the Mercyblack Rose before—”

“Somepony's coming!” Trixie hissed.

Starlight Glimmer blinked, then let the presents fall to the ground in a hellacious crash. She winced, then shook her head. “I can fix this--”

“There's no time! We've got to hide!” Trixie grabbed hold of Starlight and hauled her away from the tree, taking refuge in the doorway to some side passage.

On the other side of the hall, the door creaked open, and soon hurried hoofbeats echoed off the vaulted ceiling. Starlight and Trixie stayed close together, holding their breath in an effort to go unnoticed.

“What's this?” A too-familiar, refined voice said. The hoofsteps trotted closer-- and before Starlight could drum up an emergency teleport, she found herself staring at none other than Rarity. The white unicorn blinked, eyes going wide in surprise. “Well! That's where you went. Twilight was wondering why you slipped out during the curtain call.”

“I can explain!” Starlight Glimmer blurted.

“Don't.” Rarity held up a hoof. “What you two get up to is absolutely none of my concern-- no matter how deliciously scandalous it might be. But, well, everyone gets into the spirit of the season in their own way, hm?” Rarity looked up. Trixie and Starlight followed her gaze-- where, sure enough, a sprig of mistletoe hung from the shallow arch above their heads.

“Uh.” Starlight stammered.

“Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to find the holiday scarf I left-- oh! There it is!” Rarity plucked a band of red and green wool out of the pile of presents, and neatly wrapped it around her neck. “You two have fun. But try not to monopolize the mistletoe, hm?”

More hoofbeats came from the other side of the room as more ponies streamed into the main hall. Rarity winked at Starlight and Trixie, and then turned around in a dramatic swish of mane and scarf. “Oh, Applejack?” she said in a sweet, sing-song voice as she went to greet the newcomers.

“Now what?” Trixie hissed into Starlight's ear.

“You could start by letting me go?”

“Oh, right.” Trixie blinked, and released her. “I didn't mean to make it weird with the mistletoe thing--”

“No time for that.” Starlight said. “Just ... act normal, okay? We have until Twilight starts opening presents to get the gift basket. Holiday parties always get pretty crazy, right? We just need to find an opening, that's all. So we just act normal 'til then. That's all.”

“Normal. Got it.” Trixie nodded and steadied herself with a deep breath. She pulled her wizard hat from under her cloak (having begrudgingly taken it off during the pageant for the benefit of the ponies sitting behind her), and plopped it back into place on her head. With no small degree of flourish, she strode out into the main hall, and struck a pose. “Behold, ponies! The Festive and Celebratory Trixie has graced your presence this Hearth's Warming Eve!”

“Okay, maybe that's too normal.” Starlight Glimmer groaned.

Still, Trixie managed to take up enough space that the ponies streaming in from the pageant had little choice but to cluster around her. Knowing an opportunity when she saw one, Starlight Glimmer dove into the piles of presents, searching frantically for the gift basket of doom. So focused, Starlight Glimmer had the faintest presence of mind to register the 'pouf!' of teleportation-displaced air behind her, but not enough time to react to it.

Horrified, Starlight spun in place, finding herself nose to nose with a stern looking Twilight Sparkle.

“I can explain!” She blurted.

Twilight Sparkle furrowed her brow, uncharacteristically stern. “I thought better of you, Starlight.”

“It's--”

“Not fair to peek at your presents before it's your turn to open them!”

“Oh. Uh. Right! Caught me, Twilight. Ha. Ha.” Starlight Glimmer forced a laugh.

“I mean, it'd take all the fun out of the holiday if you just used a spell so you could see through the wrapping paper.”

“Why didn't I think of that?” Starlight Glimmer said, stunned.

“Well, I did.” Twilight said, proud. “Or, well, I thought of somepony else thinking of it, which is why I made sure to wrap all my presents with lead foil!” She grinned, and then rubbed at her chin for a moment. “We ... probably should keep the wrapping paper away from the little fillies once we're all done, though. I mean, things should be fine so long as everypony washes their hooves afterward. And, y'know, nopony ingests any of the lead, either. But we can worry about that later! Right now, it's time to party!”

“Party. Sure.” Starlight said, eyes flitting to the presents again.

“I know it's been a busy year for you-- what, with making friends and saving Equestria and all. I just wanted to make sure you had some time to just relax.”

“Relaxing, yes.” Starlight Glimmer nodded. “That's what, I, uh, what I'm trying to do. It's, um ... harder than it sounds.”

“Don't I know it.” Twilight said with a rueful smile. “I mean, even with Pinkie's help, putting together a Hearth's Warming Eve party for the whole town is an ordeal. But the hard part's over now! All that's left is to relax, drink some eggnog, and open some presents.”

“Presents! Right!” Starlight Glimmer looked over towards the skewed pile of gifts piled up around the tree. “But, um. Material goods aren't the end all and be all of Hearth's Warming Eve, y'know?”

“You're absolutely right.” Twilight said. “But, well ... the presents can be a nice way to show your friends how much they mean to you.

“Um. Sure?” Starlight Glimmer said.

“I'm really looking forward to your present, Starlight!” Twilight said with a grin. “You've really gotten into the Hearth's Warming Eve spirit this year, so I know whatever you came up with is going to be great!”

“I don't know if I'd go that far.”

“Fon't be nervous. One year, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash and Rarity and Applejack and Fluttershy all got me the same book-- which meant I had four extra copies! One for the library, one for reference, one to leave on the nightstand, one to annotate, and one to get signed by the author! Isn't that great?”

“It's ... not a book.” Starlight Glimmer said with a slight wince.

“Oh.” Twilight's expression fell.

“But hey, it's the thought that counts, right? So, uh, if I didn't get you what you were expecting it's totally understandable and just something we can laugh at later, right? Ha haaa!” Starlight Glimmer chewed at her lower lip for a moment, eyes casting left and right. “Sooo, uh ... how about some eggnog?”

“I like the way you think.” Twilight said.

As the two ponies walked away from the pile of presents, Starlight's keen mind went to constructing a new plan. If she couldn't keep the gift basket away from Twilight Sparkle, the logical solution was to just keep Twilight Sparkle away from the gift basket. Which, logically, warranted a distraction. A seasonal one, so she wouldn't notice. Like, say, eggnog.

And so, Starlight Glimmer realized she had to get the Princess of Friendship drunk.

Which wouldn't be hard, Starlight realized as soon as she took a rum-heavy whiff of the eggnog. She attributed the sweet booziness to Pinkie Pie as she kicked back a mouthful, and vaguely recalled hearing somewhere that Twilight was a lightweight. An apocryphal anecdote about a certain Tuesday night came to mind.

“I can't believe it's been a whole year.” Twilight Sparkle said with a shake of her head. “It seems like only yesterday I had to stop you from rewriting history and destroying all of Equestria.”

“Ha ha. Right.” Starlight Glimmer downed a swig that was more rum than nog, and went to ladle herself another. “But that's all behind us now.”

“I know, I know. It's just ... you've come so far, in such a short time.” Twilight smiled, proud.

“Well, I kinda had the best teacher you could ask for.”

“Flatterer.” Twilight winked, and clinked her mug against Starlight's.

“To friendship!” Starlight said, raising her glass.

“To friendship.” Twilight said, and the two of them downed their drinks in unison. “Whoof.” Twilight winced and shook her head. “That's ... stronger than I thought. Pinkie's fault, I'm sure.” She smiled, and set her mug to the side. “I'd better take it easy for the rest of the night.”

“Are you sure?” Starlight said. “I mean, uh. I'm sure you've been really busy with your royal duties and the party planning and stuff, you deserve the chance to cut loose a little, you know? Please?” Her voice cracked, ever so slightly.

“Starlight.” Twilight said. “You're acting a little ... funny. Is something bothering you?”

“She's fine!” Trixie popped up beside Starlight, yanking the other unicorn close against her side before any incriminating confessions could be made. “Perfectly fine! But, if you must be nosy, let me tell you what's bothering me, Twilight!”

“Oh, hi Trixie.” Twilight said through a tight lipped smile. “How ... opportune of you.”

“How come you do the same pageant every year?” Trixie said.”With the same ponies in the same parts?”

“It's Ponyville tradition. I think?” Twilight said.

“Of course it is.” Trixie said, flatly. “But don't you think you should spice things up a bit? Why, next year, why don't you try some other saccharine classic?”

“You know, that's not a bad idea ... “ Twilight rubbed at her chin. “I've always loved It's a Wonderbolt's Life. It could be fun to change things up.“

“Of course it's a good idea. It's my idea!” Trixie said. “As such, I'll expect a producer's credit.”

“On second thought, there's something to be said for tradition. Speaking of which--” Twilight stretched her wings out and took to the air, hovering in front of the tree. She cleared her throat politely, and raised her voice so everypony could hear. “Attention, everybody! I'd like to thank all of you for coming today. It's always a pleasure to see so many smiling faces out there. And I know a lot of you have been eyeballing the presents beneath the tree. I also know it's tradition that nopony opens their presents until the host does, so ... well, I'd better get started before Rainbow Dash starts getting antsy.”

“Too late!” Rainbow Dash yelled back. “Less talking, more tearing!”

Twilight laughed, and then glided down to the skewed pile of presents at the base of the tree. “Ah! Here we go!” she said, and plucked one of them out. “This one's from my friend Starlight Glimmer.”

Starlight cringed, and only didn't teleport on account of the number of eyes suddenly turning her way. “Uh. Twilight?” She said. “I really think you should open a different present first--”

“I told you, don't worry about it! I'm sure I'll love--” Twilight made short work of the wrapping paper with a few telekinetic tugs. “--fruitcake.” She said, peering into the gift basket. Her expression brightened a little more as she pulled the bottle of red wine out next. “And a ... Chateau de Cheval? Oh, wow, you shouldn't have.”

“I'm glad you like it?” Starlight said, for lack of anything better.

“I'm surprised you even knew. A ... friend of mine introduced me to this winery not too long ago.” Twilight's cheeks began to tint in a blush, but she soon hid it by peering back into the gift basket. “But there's something else? Let me get a closer-- ah!”

Starlight could only stare in paralyzed horror as slim black vines shot out of the gift basket, wrapping themselves around Princess Twilight Sparke's neck. Trixie, meanwhile, started dragging her friend away, muttering under her breath-- “TeleportTeleportTeleport!”

Starlight struggled against Trixie's desperation-strong grip. “We can't just zap out of here now--”

“Smoke bomb it is!” Trixie reached into her cloak, but didn't make it in time.

“Ha! Feisty thing, aren't you!” Twilight Sparkle said as she wrenched the gift basket away from her face and shook her neck free of the grasping, narcotic vines. With a simple glowing of her horn, she sealed the gift basket inside a force bubble, and levitated it to a safe distance away from everypony. “Could have warned me there, Starlight!” Her smile was genuine and cheery.

“I tried?” Starlight said.

“Alright everypony, the rest of you are free to open your own presents!” Twilight gave a wave of her hoof, and a cheer rose up from the gathering. Little colts and fillies (along with some who were just colts and fillies at heart) descended on their presents like a pack of hungry, holiday-themed wolves, sending shreds of festive wrapping paper in all directions.

Starlight finally wriggled out of Trixie's grasp, and trotted over to Twilight. “You're not ... mad?” She said.

“Why would I be?” Twilight Sparkle said with a little shrug. “I mean, sure, it wasn't a book, but it was still a very nice present. You might want to be a little more careful about how you contain your more ... active scientific specimens, that's all.”

“But ... that was a Mercyblack Rose.” Starlight stammered.

“Really? Huh.” Twilight looked up at the be-bubbled-basket. “Which means that as soon as the vines touched me, I should have been hypnotized by a fantasy of everything I ever wanted ... but I just pulled it off like it was nothing ... which means I already have everything I could ever want! Oh wow, Starlight-- that's a really thoughtful way to put everything into perspective!” Twilight soon pulled Starlight into a tight, affectionate hug.

“It is?” Starlight said.

“I mean, here I am, Princess of Friendship, surrounded by friends and family, on the happiest night of the year! What more could I want? I mean, using a Mercyblack Rose to show me just how good I had it was terribly reckless, but it's not like I'm in much of a position to throw stones there. Like, did I ever tell you about the time I tried to measure the amount of radiation that can be blocked by a Class 4 shield spell? The experiment itself went well, except for the part with the centipede ... but even that worked out in the end! Why, they just got the smell out of the south wing of Canterlot Palace just a few weeks ago!”

“When you put it that way, I guess it's not quite as bad.”

“Plus, I'm sure you had a backup plan in place in case things went wrong.”

“Oh, yes.” Starlight Glimmer nodded. “Contingency plans.”

“Since you liked it so much,” Trixie butted in, “I should let you know that I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, helped Starlight put the gift basket together.”

“Well, thank you too, Trixie.” Twilight said. “Now if you'll excuse me, I'd better put this flower away before it gets its roots into somepony not as fortunate as I am.” With that, Twilight Sparkle pulled the pink bubble closer to herself, and then disappeared in a burst of teleportation magic.

With Twilight gone, Starlight's smile dropped as she glared at Trixie.

The wizard-hatted pony just shrugged. “All's well that ends well, right?”

“I think I'm back to hating Hearth's Warming Eve.” Starlight grumbled.

“Look at the bright side, we're not in magic jail.” Trixie said.

“That's kind of a low bar.”

“But an important one!” Trixie rolled her eyes. “Besides, you were so worried about giving presents, you forgot that you're going to get presents too! And, of course, I have gotten you the greatest present of all!” Trixie doffed her hat and pulled a small envelope out of it.

“A gift card?” Starlight said as she picked up the card.

“Open it, silly.” Trixie rolled her eyes.

Starlight did so, and blinked as she peered at the playbill inside. “Starlight and Trixie's One Night Only Arcane Extravaganza? I don't get it.”

“We're going to do a show together!” Trixie said, bouncing on her hooves. “For one night only, you and I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, shall bedazzle the audiences of Las Pegasus with our dazzling displays of magical marvel!” Trixie sidled up beside Starlight and threw a foreleg around her shoulder, stretching her free hoof out in front of her. “And, just to make things really special, you'll get top billing! Which is not something the Great and Powerful Trixie gives up easily, let me tell you.”

“That is impressive.” Starlight said with a little grin. “Which means my present for you is even more appropriate.” She floated a rectangular package out from under the tree.

“Is it fireworks?” Trixie said, eyes bright.

“No.”

“Aw.”

“Just open it.”

“Fine, fine.” Trixie did so, and pursed her lips. “Oh. A book. How surprising for someone who's been hanging out with Twilight Sparkle.”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “Look closer.”

“Fine, fine. I'm sure there's a valuable lesson to be learned from--” Trixie looked at the title, and then her jaw dropped. “The Right Way to Do Wrong? As in Harry Hoofdini's guide to lockpicking, pickpocketing, and escapery?”

“First edition.” Starlight said.

“Thank you!” Trixie yanked the other unicorn in for a hug.

“You know, this all worked out pretty well.” Starlight mused. “... maybe too well. I mean, what if we somehow screwed up along the way and got exposed to the Mercyblack Rose, and now we're the ones trapped in a fantasy-- ow!” Starlight Glimmer's rant came to an abrupt halt once Trixie pinched her. “What was that for?”

“Proof you're not dreaming, duh.” Trixie rolled her eyes. “And I know I'm not dreaming, either, because if the Great and Powerful Trixie got everything she ever wanted, it would be a lot less ... “ Trixie seethed, ever so slightly. “Wholesome.”

Starlight blinked, momentarily stunned by Trixie's logic. Finally, she just shook her head and laughed. “And merry Hearth's Warming Eve to you too, Trixie. Now c'mon, let's go drink too much eggnog.”