The Cutie Mark Crusaders often took turns picking what they attempted to earn their Cutie Mark, and sometimes that meant doing things that one of them would never do otherwise.
Such as Scootaloo partaking in a beauty pageant on Sweetie Belle's request. Granted, having Rarity for the little trio to get dresses from was a benefit...but the little pegasus would be the first to admit she was only doing this for Sweetie Belle. Still, the talent portion of the competition had allowed her to show off her totally awesome dancing skills, so it wasn't all bad.
There was one thing that, as per usual, dragged the whole experience down for her, and the group as a whole. Namely Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, who as per usual had taunted the trio and bragged about themselves whenever possible. The Crusaders were more or less desensitized to it by now (there was only so many times one could be called Blank Flank before it became nothing but white noise), but that didn't make it any less annoying. But they'd simply filtered it out and given it their best. And now the time had come for the judges to declare a winner, all the fillies standing on stage and waiting for the announcement.
“Alright, mares and gentlecolts it's time to announce the winners of the Ponyville Beauty Pageant's filly category!” Mayor Mare announced, walking forwards as the lights shown down on them. Scootaloo did her best to smile, Apple Bloom smiled to her sister in the crowd, and Sweetie Belle was excited as could be. Particularly given Rarity had won the adult category hooves down and was giving Sweetie an encouraging wave from the crowd, her sash and crown still on while she held a bouquet of flowers as large as herself . Little surprise, given few would argue with the idea Rarity was one of the prettiest mares in Ponyville (Fluttershy's modeling career aside, but her willingly being in a beauty pageant was extremely unlikely to say the least).
“Third place goes to...Alula!”
The Crusaders watched as Cloudkicker applauded and cheered for her little sister while Mayor Mare put the third place sash on the young pegasus.
“So...we're not going to all get into the top three I guess...” Sweetie Belle pointed out with a somewhat disappointed look.
“Eh, probably just me,” Scootaloo replied with a shrug. “I know this isn't my thing so not really a surprise.”
“And second place goes to...” said Mayor Mare, pausing for dramatic effect. “Silver Spoon!”
Silver Spoon's parents in the audience (which the Crusaders fully admitted was the first time they'd ever seen either of them and they'd never thought about her even having parents) applauded as their daughter gave a happy bow.
“...Okay...one of us...” Sweetie Belle replied, pinning her ears back.
“You're probably gonna win, Sweetie,” Apple Bloom pointed out reassuringly. “You're the prettiest out of us.”
Sweetie Belle blushed. “Really?”
Her two friends nodded. “Really!”
“Thank you...”
“Don't let it go to your head,” Diamond Tiara whispered, giving a smug smirk. “Prettiest of you three Blank Flanks is still ugly compared to me.”
Sweetie Belle glared back at the rich filly, but said nothing. Diamond Tiara would be proven wrong in the end. That's how it always went, right? She called them Blank Flanks, said terrible things to them, and generally acted like a spoiled rotten brat, and then karma bit her in the flank. She'd lose and one of them would win (and in this case she'd most likely be jealous at Silver Spoon), it was just how things went.
“And, drum roll please,” Mayor Mare stated, causing one to begin playing. “The winner of the Ponyville Beauty Pageant's filly category is...”
The CMC craned their necks in, listing carefully as Diamond held her nose in the air proudly, as if victory was assured.
“...DIAMOND TIARA!”
“What?!” asked the CMC, eyes going wide as dinner plates.
“HA!” Diamond mocked, pointing to them with a smug smirk.
The trio stared with their jaws dropped for a few moments as Diamond trotted over to Mayor Mare to applause from the crowd and got the sash.
“Maybe the crown is embarrassing?” Apple Bloom suggested.
Diamond moved her Tiara back on her head and let the larger, rather beautiful prize crown be put on her head.
“...Maybe the trophy will stink?” Scootaloo questioned, looking more perplexed.
Diamond was handed a well-polished golden trophy cup bigger than herself she had to have her butler carry.
“...Maybe the prize is lame and the runner up will get a cooler one?” Sweetie Belle added, beginning to move from perplexed to confused.
“And last but not least, you get a year supply of candy from Sugar Cube Corner!” Mayor Mare announced, Pinkie Pie pushing up a massive cart full of candy.
“...Maybe she'll eat all of it in one go and get so sick she'll wish she hadn't won?” asked Apple Bloom, now moving from confused to befuddled.
“Wow! What are you going to do with all of that, Diamond?” asked Silver, walking up to her best friend.
“Well I was thinking of saving it, using it for bribing other foals here and there, and just generally eating it as slowly as possible where everypony can see to make them as jealous as possible,” Diamond whispered back, the CMC leaning in enough to hear before falling back.
“Good idea,” the silver filly replied.
“...Maybe she'll say something to get disqualified?” Sweetie Belle suggested as the three leaned back, the group slowly moving from befuddled to dumbfounded.
On Mayor Mare's cue, the winners bowed and the festivities ended.
“In your face, Blank Flanks!” Diamond called, Silver joining her friend on their signature insult. “How's it feel to be the losers for once?!” she mocked, taking piece of her prize candy and slowly putting it in her mouth before she and Silver laughed.
“Bump, bump, sugar lump rump!” the two called, doing their hoofshake and trotting off with their noses in the air.
The CMC stood for a few moments in disbelief. “...What just happened?” Apple Bloom finally asked. It felt like something just...alien and wrong and their minds were having trouble comprehending it.
The trio were so shell-shocked they failed to notice Diamond meet with her father just off stage. “Well done, Diamond Tiara,” said Filthy, giving a proud smile.
“Thank you daddy!” Diamond said, her smile seeming genuinely proud and happy for once rather than superior and smug.
“I am sorry your mother couldn't be here to see it, but you know how much she hates beauty pageants because of her...unfortunate nose condition...” her father replied awkwardly.
“It's fine, I'm just glad you're here, daddy,” said Diamond, hugging her father. When he turned away she gave an almost heartbroken look. “If only mom was here to finally be proud of me for once."
The CMC finally shook out of their stupor and turned to look at one another.
“...But Diamond Tiara never just wins without things backfiring on her...that's not how it works...” Sweetie Belle muttered, remembering every single time they'd done this before. Even when Diamond won she didn't win!
“Yeah, plus she's the bad guy, since when does the bad guy win!” Apple Bloom replied.
“Well...maybe she cheated?” Scootaloo suggested.
“Hmm...” the three thought, a collective imagination bubble forming over their heads.
“HAHAHA!” cackled Diamond Tiara, having little devil horns as she stood back stage, watching the Crusaders on stage, doing an amazing performance. The devilish little filly pulled a lever, opening a trap door and sending them falling into the basement with a loud crash.
“Yeah, that's probably it!” Sweetie Belle said.
“...But that didn't happen,” Apple Bloom replied. “And Applejack always says tah get proof before yah accuse somepony, and we don't have none that Diamond cheated.”
“Oh yeah...” the unicorn filly replied with an annoyed sigh. “...Maybe she bribed the judges or something?”
The trio again imagined up a thought bubble.
“HAHAHA!” cackled horned Diamond Tiara, literally throwing bags of money bigger than herself into the judge's laps, who gave her all 10s.
“Yeah, that's probably what happened!” Apple Bloom stated.
“Who are the judges?” asked Scootaloo, having not been paying attention to that part.
The trio peaked over to where the judges were relaxing after the whole pageant...to find Cheerilee, Princess Twilight, and Maud Pie were the judges.
“...I liked the well-crafted, authentic diamonds in her tiara...I appreciate quality...” Maud explained to Twilight in her typical monotone. “Also they went well with her eyes...”
The CMC trotted back out of sight and looked a bit ashamed to have considered that.
“No way Cheerilee or Miss Twilight would ever take a bribe like that...” said Apple Bloom emphatically.
“Yeah, and I don't think Diamond knows enough about rocks to bribe Maud...” Sweetie Belle replied. “She can spot the difference between a diamond and a cub-bit zur-chromia from a mile away!”
“...What's that?” asked the yellow Earth Pony, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
“I don't know! Pinkie Pie said it and it sounds really smart!”
“...Point taken...”
“So then what? How did Diamond do it?” asked Scootaloo.
“...Maybe she got some crazy magic or artifact or something?” suggested the farm filly. “That kinda stuff happens all the time!”
Once again, the trio focused.
“HAHAHA!” cackled the demon horned Diamond Tiara, grabbing an evil looking crown and putting it on her head, causing her to sprout Nightmare wings and a horn. She then blasted the trio of judges, causing them to get swirly eyes and declare her winner on the spot.
“That makes sense,” Scootaloo replied with a smirk.
“...I don't think so...” Sweetie Belle admitted, looking thoughtful.
“Why not? You think Diamond wouldn't do that?” asked the orange pegasus.
“No...but if Diamond had turned into a supervillain, she'd do more than just cheat at a beauty contest! She hates us too much for that! She'd brainwash us into her minions or at least make us humiliate ourselves on stage!” the little unicorn replied. “...I mean come on, wouldn't doing that to Silver Spoon and Diamond be the first thing we'd do if we ever became evil supervillains?...I mean yeah, it's mean, but that doesn't matter when you're supervillains!”
“That's...a good point...” Apple Bloom replied. The trio slowly started towards the door, all three thinking deeply about what could have happened. It was still daylight outside, with sunset being about an hour away.
“...Maybe she snuck into our dressing rooms and messed with our make up?” Sweetie Belle asked as the three trotted out the door and through Ponyville towards their club house.
“Sweetie, you're the only one that's wearin' make up and your sister did it at home before we left,” replied the farm filly before they could even imagine that one.
“Oh...right...” Sweetie Belle said, taking a moment to look in a puddle. “...And Rarity did a really, really good job...Okay, then maybe she snuck in and changed our dresses to make us look fat?”
Devil horned Diamond Tiara snuck backstage laughing maniacally and swapped the dresses. When the CMC, smiling and happy put them on, they suddenly looked as fat as sumo wrestlers while she fell on her back laughing.
“...Rarity says that's a thing that can happen...” Sweetie Belle pointed out.
“...Wasn't Rarity in the audience though?” Apple Bloom asked. “Ah think she'd have said somethin'.”
“Why?”
Apple Bloom pointed as they passed a stand where Rarity was talking with Pinkie Pie about several racks of fabric for sell.
“No, Pinkie Pie, that's not pink, that's magenta,” replied Rarity, as if it were a matter of life and death. “Your coat is pink, so no a dress made out of it wouldn't look like you were 'naked.'”
“Oh...what if the dress is invisible?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Then you'd have no point in wearing it!...Though invisible PARTS of a dress could have merit!” the fashionista said, giving an inspired gasped. “Twilight! I need an invisibility spell quick! II have a brilliant idea!”
“...Oh yeah,” said Sweetie Belle. “She'd notice a mile away...And probably freak out, then maybe faint...”
“And Rainbow Dash told her to be extra sure mine was streamlined,” replied Scootaloo. “She's not really into fashion, but she wanted my dress to be 'arrowdynamite'...”
“You mean aerodynamic?” asked the little unicorn helpfully.
“...Yes...” the orange pegasus replied with a flat look.
“So...any other ideas?” Apple Bloom asked, the trio finally arriving at the clubhouse.
Without even needing to vocalize it, they followed tradition and trotted into the clubhouse (the pageant had been at town hall, which was fairly close to Sweet Apple Acres, so it hadn't been a long walk) and stopped on their thinking spot. The trio assembled themselves in a circle around the little bullseye on the ground and thought...
And thought...
And thought...
And thought...
But no matter what ideas sprang to mind, there was a reason that it made no sense. No matter how long and hard they thought on the events of the pageant, ultimately they kept coming up with the exact same answer: Diamond, while she'd been a huge jerk as always, had done nothing wrong and hadn't cheated in any way shape or form. She hadn't even done anything to disrupt their own turns, in fact she hadn't even made herself visible or mind gamed them. She'd just been mildly annoying at worst.
“So...Diamond Tiara didn't cheat...she didn't mess with our acts...she didn't even distract us...” Apple Bloom listed off. “So...what happened?”
It took them a few more moments of sitting and thinking...until they finally realized what was very much a bitter pill to swallow.
“...We just...lost?” asked Sweetie Belle, eyes wide. “She beat us fair and square?”
“But...but that's not how it's supposed to work!” Scootaloo replied in disbelief. “She's a BAD GUY! She's not supposed to win!...Or at least win and get to enjoy it!”
“...Ah...Ah guess she was just actually better than us...” Apple Bloom replied, trying to wrap her head around it. “Not like she acts, Ah mean...Ah guess Diamond and Silver are just better at....whatever yah call bein' in a beauty pageant than us for real...”
“...But...but...” the orange pegasus stuttered, trying to think of a retort. She finally gave a huff. “...You're right...”
“...Silver Spoon too,” said Sweetie Belle, the group having largely forgotten about her. In fact that tended to happen quite a bit. As Silver Spoon rarely if ever did anything of her own accord without Diamond's command, they tended to forget she was a separate entity from Diamond and just see her as an extension of the spoiled pink Earth Pony. “...I wasn't paying too much attention at the time, but...she really was good at playing the flute for the talent portion.”
“...And Ah didn't know Diamond Tiara was that good at numbers until she did balancing her family's budget for the talent part...” Apple Bloom admitted. “Ah thought she'd just have her talent portion be 'watch meh exist'...”
“...So...what do we do now?” Scootaloo finally asked, the group all looking confused at the thought.
“...When Applejack lost the rodeo, she ran away tah Dodge Junction tah try and work up the same amount she'd have made on prize money if she one,” the farm filly replied, giving a rather sad shudder at that thought. “Not happenin', Granny Smith would tan mah hide if Ah even thought about doin' that...”
“...When Rarity doesn't win, she normally lays on the couch being dramatic and eating ice cream for the evening...” said Sweetie Belle, thinking about it. “...But we don't have a couch, and Rarity doesn't just keep ice cream around the house because one time I found it and ate it all, and was sick for the rest of the night...”
Scootaloo found all eyes on her. “...I don't know! I've never seen Rainbow Dash lose! She's too awesome!”
“...Maybe we should ask her?” asked the group's little unicorn.
The trio looked out the window, finding Rainbow Dash busting clouds.
“Rainbow Dash!” called Scootaloo out the window, waving to the mare.
Rainbow Dash looked down and nodded, the pegasus quickly blitzing around and busting a large section of clouds before flying down in front of the Crusaders. “Hey little sis,” she said, rubbing her honorary little sister's mane. “How'd the beauty pageant go?” she asked, having missed it due to her work.
“We lost...” the little orange pegasus replied, looking down.
The cyan pegasus frowned. “Oh...sorry to hear that squirt...” she said, sincerely as she put a hoof on her back supportively.
“Rainbow...what do you do when you lose to somepony who's a jerk to you?” asked Scootaloo.
“...That's a toughie...” Rainbow Dash admitted, trying to think about that one. She remembered several races she'd had as a foal and lost horribly due to no fault of her opponents. Mainly due to crashing, and sometimes even to the Sports Trio. It was a situation she was more familiar with than she'd EVER tell the little orange filly. At the time she'd thrown a temper tantrum...but her parents support changed that. She also remembered something Spitfire had told her after the Rainbow Falls incident. “...Be the bigger pony. Congratulate them.”
Scootaloo blinked. “Really?”
“Spitfire said that a Wonderbolt can't have so much pride they're afraid to lose,” explained cyan pegasus, seriously. “And they shouldn't be afraid to swallow it and be the better pony even when they lost to a pony they don't like...after all, not doing that is a bad example, and there will always be ponies watching. You never know when that pony needed to see you be a good example...I had to remind Spitfire of that lesson at Rainbow Falls and she thanked me for it...Besides, if you lost and they did better than you, shouldn't you treat 'em like you'd like them to treat you if you won?”
The Crusaders looked at each other thoughtfully, then slowly nodded.
“Thanks Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo replied, the trio smiling slightly.
The Cyan Pegasus smiled back, giving her a huge. “You're welcome, Scoots. Now, I've got work to do, see you around!” she called, giving a salute and flying back into the sky.
The Crusaders waved...and then noticed a knock at their door. The trio quickly made their way over and opened it to reveal Diamond, still wearing her sash and bigger tiara. Her butler stood behind her, holding the trophy.
“Hello, blank flanks,” Diamond Tiara said with a superior smirk. “I was on my way home from victory ice cream with daddy and thought I'd stop by and let you see my amazing trophy again! Since, you know, this is as close to it as you're ever going to get!”
The trio looked to each other...and nodded.
“Good job, Diamond,” said Sweetie, completely unironically.
The spoiled pony blinked. “What?”
“Yeah, good job,” Scootaloo replied. “You deserve it.”
“Yeah, yah beat us fair and square,” Apple Bloom replied. “Yer the prettiest filly in Ponyville, no question about that.”
Diamond stared, jaw dropping.
Sweetie looked to Silver Spoon. “Oh! And I liked your flute performance Silver! You really deserved second place!”
Silver's jaw dropped as well, the two staring in complete shock until Diamond finally shook herself out of it. “Yes, of course I'm the prettiest filly in Ponyville! Thank you very much!”
“You're welcome,” the Crusaders replied together.
“Anyway, see yah later,” Apple Bloom replied, giving a wave as they closing the door. “...Yah know, that actually felt good...”
“Yeah...” Scootaloo replied, giving a smile. “It feels kinda good to be the bigger pony...”
Sweetie Belle nodded. “Yeah!...So...now what?”
“...Vine swinging?” the orange pegasus filly suggested.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS VINE SWINGERS YAY!”
The Crusaders opened the door. “See you later!” they called to Diamond and Silver, closing the door and dashing off.
“Good job winning third place Alula!” the trio called from out of sight.
“HEY! WAIT! YOU CAN'T JUST CONGRATULATE ME FOR BEATING YOU!” Diamond called after them.
“...Why?” Silver asked, confused.
Diamond paused and put a hoof to her chin. “...Good point...Huh...now what? We normally spend the rest of the day calling them Blank Flanks or cleaning up from some humiliation or another.”
“...Video games?”
The End
