Derpy's Sad Comedy

by Peenut2k7

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Sad, Dark, Comedy
Length: 1094

Derpy makes an Uncoventional Mix of conflicting genre. One Chapter One Shot.

Derpy wants to make a Comedic story with sad elements a plenty, but she doesn't know how to mix them together! Can the Derpy make her Book? Will she ever get a good idea? Find out in this small FanFic by Peenut2k7!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-19 22:09:10 UTC

Chapter 1

She could see it now. A book filled with humor, sadness, and "spookies". Mostly Humor and Sadness. She didn't know how to put it, but darn she wanted to change her Embarassing Bubbles cutie mark to a poetry cutie mark. Honestly, she knew she couldn't do this alone. Her brain was normal sized, but her vision was wobbly and technicolored, and she often felt light headed. Her hearing was impaired too. Everyone made fun of her due to her humorous eye defect, but she disliked being made fun of because in reality, she had Down Syndrome. She thought it would halt her progress on her story, those eyes of her! But she went ahead and write down the cliche words of "Once upon a time". She didn't know how to properly start, but... she went ahead and wrote down the key starting words, essential to her sucess.

"Once upon a time, in the magicy land of Eekestrya, there were two nice sisters who ruled together, and created niceness for all the land. To do this, the biggest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at morning; the younger brought out the moon to begin the night. Magiclly, the two sisters kept balance for their castle and their subjects, all the different types of ponies. But as time went on, the younger sister became villainy. The ponies broccoli'd and played in the day her big sister brought forth, but pushed and slept through her beautiful night. One bad day, the small unicorn didn't want to lower the moon to make way for the dawn. The big sister tried to reason with her, but the villainness in the young one's heart had transformed her into a bigger mare of black stuff: Night Mare Moon. She yelled that she would blanket the land in eternal bed sheets. Angry and Big, the big sister got the most big magic known to ponies: the Stone Balls of Happies. Using the magic of the Stone Balls of Happies, she punched her small sister, and trapped her permanently in the moon. The big sister took on charge for both sun and moon..."

And that is where Derpy lost her train of thought. She didn't know what to write next! Maybe she could write about a way to stop Child Obesity in Canterlot? Stop Child Starvation in Everfree? What should she write next?

"I have an Idea!" Derpy yelled. "I'll write about Awesomebow Dash vs. the Turtles!"

"i'll make it sad, funny, and scary too!" And she began to write.

It was a rainy day in Ponyville. The birds were in their treeholes, the squirrels were in their treeholes, and the chipmunks were in their... treeholes. Derpy was being unoriginal right here. And then, a giant, firebreathing turtle jumped out of the bushes! It was a Giant Firebreathing Turtle! And then there was another Firebreathing turtle, but BIGGER! And another that was bigger! And another that was bigger! And another that was bigger! Eventually, there were 10 giant fire breathing turtles! The smallest was the size of Celestia, and the largest was the size of the dragon Fluttershy met up with... not Discord. All of a sudden, a giant, bipedal, muscular Rainbow Dash with a long, colorful, rainbow mane appeared, and suddenly, the turtles morphed into giant banana peels with fuzzy socks on and giant rubber noses! (This is Derpy's sense of "humor", don't judge ME!) Awesomebow Dash laughed, and then beat up the biggest and made him explode into tissues (Derpy's sense of Drama and Sadness). The other turtled turned normal and cried, and so did Awesomebow Dash. But then, Awesomebow Dash turned into a monster mutant who breathed spikes on the Turtles, and they bled their faces off and their little tummies bursted and split! (Derpy's sense of "Spookies") Blood covered the town and the turtles were very dead! Awesomebow Dash then laughed, cried, and screamed the exact same time. Then, Awesomebow Dash turned back into Rainbow Dash, and she flew away back to Cloudsdale. The End.

Derpy sweated from sheer excitment of releasing her hard worked on project and rubbed her forehead. She printed this to a book, and the book was popular... with average to positive reviews. So sadly, Derpy's hard work wasn't a classic, but ponies still liked it. Derpy set in work something everybody liked. A kaiju story, to make her big bounce into fame.

Rainbow Dash was a worker in a dark facility. She liked deathstuff, and wanted to kill everyone on Earth. He went into a chamber, and she turned into RainbowZilla. She trampled the grounds of the awesome Equestria, and smushed Pinkie Pie's house. Pinkie Pie was sad, so she chased Rainbowzilla across Equestria. Finally, Rainbowzilla came to Princess Celestia's Castle! Rainbowzilla could've possibly won! But suddenly, a flash of light... well... lit up the sky. It was Pony Guy! He zoomed towards Rainbowzilla, and he called into Tanks to dispose of the giant monster pony. Rainbowzilla smashed the Tanks, and ate up Pony Guy. now she was heading for the Everfree mountains, where Canterlot was perched on! She was going to destroy the Support beams keeping Canterlot fastened to the mountain! Suddenly, Blue Pony Cult sang a song.

With a colorful grimace and a terrible sound

She pulls the spitting high tension wires down

Helpless ponies on a subway train

Scream for C'lestia as she looks on them

She picks up a bus and he throws it back down

As she wades through the buildings toward the center of town

Oh no, they say, she's got to go

Go go Rainbowzilla, yeah

Oh no, there goes Canterlot

Go go Rainbowzilla, yeah

Oh no, they say, she's got to go

Go go Rainbowzilla, yeah

Oh no, there goes Canterlot

Go go Rainbowzilla, yeah

Ponydom shows again and again

How nature points out the folly of stall'yen

Rainbowzilla

Ponydom shows again and again

How nature points out the folly of stall'yen

Rainbowzilla

Rainbowzilla dashed through the mountains, hoping to find a weak spot for Canterlot. She found a very important Support Beam. She chose to destroy it, and Canterlot began to tip off of the Everfree Mountains. Suddenly, a Giant Turtle named Dummera turned Rainbow Dash normal, and Rainbow Dash fixed the support beams. The End.

Finally, Derpy had made her masterpeice. She released it to the Public, and it had very positive reception, and became an Equestrian Classic. With a feature film and a gracefully created TV Series, Derpy was never mocked again. Most of the time. The End.