The Road To Infinity

“Keep your mitts off me, you perfume sniffing peon!” Mane-iac snapped at Rarity, lashing her tendrils at the unicorn. The group had brought her and Balthazar to Fluttershy’s cabin, and the unlucky unicorn had tried to dress her in normal clothes.

Rarity grumbled, using her magic to hold the tendrils at bay as best she could. “Would you calm down you little ruffian? I am trying to make you look presentable!”

“I am presentable, you old hag!” Mane-iac growled, tossing a lamp at her.

“Old hag!” Rarity boomed, her right eye twitching as her face contorted into a mask of pure rage. “I am twenty-two you little ingrate! And you are the farthest thing from presentable! You look like you’re wearing a Nightmare Night costume!”

“I am the Mane-iac! Ponies should know who I am, and tremble in fear!” Mane-iac shouted back, sneering up at her.

“You are a pre-teen filly now,” Rarity reminded her, unzipping the Mane-iac’s costume. “And by all that is decent, you will not go around in skin tight latex! Now stay still!”

“No!” Mane-iac cried, thrashing around in her bonds. “I need my costume. I need it to take over the world!” She grunted in effort, twisting and contorting her body in any way she could.

Rarity gritted her teeth, freeing the struggling filly from her latex clothing. “Now,” Rarity began, tossing it into the corner, “Let’s get you more appropriately dressed.”

“Try it and I will bite you, spinstress,” Mane-iac growled, bearing her teeth.

“Must you be so dramatic?” Rarity rolled her eyes, feeling the onset of a headache. “You should be grateful, my sister was willing to give up some of her clothes for you.”

“I don’t want the clothes of a common pony,” Mane-iac hissed, her pupils contracting. “I am meant to stand above all ponies and rule with an iron fist.”

Rarity ignored her, getting the screaming filly into some plain underwear. “Now, would you rather have a dress, or pants?”

“Both make me want to puke,” Mane-iac deadpanned.

“Let’s go with pants.” Rarity grabbed a pair off Fluttershy’s bed. “Now, will you please behave? This will be much easier if you aren’t fighting me.”

Mane-iac grit her teeth, about to retort only for a breeze to roll in from the nearby open window to cause her to shiver. “Fine,” she huffed, straightening her legs out. Grumbling curses under her breathe, she allowed Rarity to slip the pants up her legs. She glanced down, feeling bile rise up in her throat when a plain pair of blue jeans with a musical note sequined onto the back pocket greeted her.

“See? Is that so bad?” Rarity asked, shooting her a smile. Grabbing a shirt, she held it over Mane-iac’s head. “Arms up please.”

“It’s slightly better than walking around naked,” Mane-iac grumbled, holding her arms up and avoiding eye contact with the unicorn. Moving her tendrils through the neckhole, she allowed Rarity to pull it down. It was a sickeningly girly, pink shirt, with a frilly collar and sleeves.

“There, you look so much better in that than that nasty costume,” Rarity assured, sighing in relief as she took a step back from the villain.

“I want to throw up,” Mane-iac responded as Rarity released her magic. “I’m so... ordinary!”

“If you’re so set on not looking ordinary, I could make you some fabulous clothing,” Rarity offered, putting her hands on her hips, a stern look etched on her face. “But no spandex, understand?”

Mane-iac huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Beggars can’t be choosers, I suppose. Fine, I will let you design new clothes for me. Do a good job and I might even spare you when I take over Equestria.”

“Sorry to disappoint to you, but my friends and I won’t allow that.” Rarity ushered Mane-iac of of the room, grabbing the discarded costume in her magic. “I might as well get this cleaned for you. You can wear it for Nightmare Night.”

“Joy,” Mane-iac replied, sarcasm dripping from her voice as Rarity led her into the living room. She stopped several feet away from the rest of the girls, noticing that they were watching Balthazar with hopeful expressions. “Stupid ape.” Mane-iac growled, lashing a tendril at his face.

Before it could hit him, a pink aura enveloped it. Twilight turned back to the Mane-iac, a stern look on her face. “I think you’ve done enough harm to him.”

“Release me, you pegacorn freak!” Mane-iac snapped, the rest of her tendrils waving around in agitation.

“I’m an alicorn actually,” Twilight replied, ignoring the villain’s outburst. “And while there are only four of us, we’re not freaks.”

“How is she here anyway?” Rainbow Dash asked, sending Mane-iac a glare. “She’s not even a real pony! Shouldn’t she have like disappeared when we pulled her out or whatever?”

“I can only speculate,” Twilight started, releasing the tendril once Mane-iac stopped thrashing, “but Balthazar’s temporal tampering altered her from the state that the story recognized her. So, that left two options, ejection or deletion. Obviously, the comic decided ejection.”

“So, does the Mane-iac just not exist in comics anymore?” Dash asked, looking between Twilight and Mane-iac. “Cause, I think that would like, piss a lot of ponies off.”

“I couldn’t tell you that right now,” Twilight said, shrugging. “At the very least, she no longer exists in that particular issue.” Turning to Mane-iac, Twilight crossed her arms. “You’re not an adult anymore. If you want to throw tantrums, we’ll treat you like a foal.”

“I am not a foal!” Mane-iac growled, her tendrils standing on end. “I am still an adult where it counts!”

“And yet, you’re acting like a child,” Twilight countered, gesturing to the tendrils. “Prove you’re an adult and act like one.”

“Ah reckon a good whoopin’ will straighten er’ out,” Applejack commented, giving Mane-iac an unhappy look. “Someponies gotta put some discipline back in that crazy head of ers’.”

Their conversation was suddenly cut off by a groan coming from the couch. They all turned to see Balthazar sitting up slowly, rubbing his neck. “Ugh, is this Nirvana? For some reason I didn’t think I’d feel pain there.” His eyes locked onto the girls. “Oh right. Horse woman world.”

“We’re glad to see that you’re alright,” Fluttershy said, standing up from the side of the couch. “You were choked for a while, I was worried there might’ve been brain damage.” Stepping over to him, she touched at his throat. “Does it hurt?”

“A little bit,” Balthazar admitted, wincing from her touch. “But I don’t think I’ll need any painkillers for it. I’m a bit disappointed, you girls were rocking those outfits.” Wearing a cheeky grin, he winked at Rainbow Dash. “Especially you, Skittles.”

Rainbow chuckled, putting a hand on her hip and cocking it. “You’re just saying that because you got to cop a quick feel. I saw the way you were checking Rares out.” Elbowing Rarity, a lecherous grin grew across her face. “Maybe you could model your adult line for him?”

Rarity rolled her eyes, though a wry smirk grew across her face. “I don’t know, you seemed to enjoy teasing him. Perhaps you’d like to take a crack at modeling a set or two?” Leaning close, she muttered. “I’ll even lend you that corset you like~”

“Deal,” Dash whispered back, subtly rubbing her hands together. “But only if one of the outfits is a faux leather number.” Hearing Twilight’s annoyed grunt, Rainbow pulled away. “Anyway, guy, you made Mane-iac a real filly.”

Balthazar turned his head, finding the villain in question giving him a death glare while her tendrils twitched in agitation. “Huh, so I did. Lucky you, you get to be a real girl.Nice clothes, had no idea you were a girly girl.”

“These clothes are borrowed,” Mane-iac hissed, intensifying her glare. “I would never wear anything like this under normal circumstances.”

“I thinkest thou doth protest too much,” Balthazar replied, rising to his feet. Swaying a little, he braced himself against Fluttershy. “Okay, before we start talking, I need food. I haven’t eaten all day, and getting choked out didn’t help.”

“I can help you there,” Fluttershy assured with a smile, helping him stay upright. “I always keep plenty of food in stock for all my little critters. What can I make for you?” Taking him into the kitchen, Fluttershy eased him into a chair.

“You know how to make curry?” Balthazar asked, putting his feet up on another chair. “I could go for some of that.”

“Of course I do,” Fluttershy answered, turning her back to him so she could gather everything she’d need. “Molly the mongoose can’t seem to get enough of the curry I make for her. Do you like it any specific kind of way?”

“Not really,” Balthazar answered, closing his eyes. “I’d just appreciate a nice blend of flavor and spiciness.” His moment of relaxation was ruined by the sounds of hooves and chairs moving around. Cracking an eye open, he was greeted by the expectant looks of the girls. “Really? I can’t eat first?” When their looks didn’t waver, he sighed and motioned with his hand. “Alright, I guess you can ask whatever you want to help pass the time while I wait for Fluttershy to finish cooking.” Pointing at Applejack, he grunted. “You start.”

“Ah’ll forgive the rudeness considerin’ ya saved mah hide,” Applejack said, tilting her hat back on her head. “Anyway, what are ya exactly? It’s pretty clear that ya ain’t any kind o’ being from around here.”

“I’m a human,” Balthazar answered, putting his hands behind his head. “Specifically, I’m half Indian, half Nevadan. Got me a nice complexion, courtesy of my dear sweet mother.” He grinned and motioned a hand around his face in demonstration. “If you want a scientific name for my species then that’d be Homo Sapien and our closest living relative is the bonobo.” Gesturing to Rainbow, he grunted. “Next.”

“How did you get here?” Dash asked. “I’ve never heard of a human before so you’ve gotta be from pretty far away.”

“Uh well, I dunno.” Balthazar shrugged, looking up at the ceiling. “Last thing I remember is Maan giving me this gauntlet and the next thing I know, I’m in some creepy forest. I thought she was playing a prank on me but, there aren’t a lot of forests in Nevada.”

Twilight frowned. “Sounds like you went through some form of teleportation. After your meal, we should go to my lab so I can run a few tests. If we’re lucky, I might be able to detect the transportation method and reverse it.”

“You can’t!” Balthazar slammed his hands on the table, a strange look in his eyes. “I have to find them all. I can’t go back until I find all the gems.” Blinking, he made a face, leaning back in his seat. “Yeah, I have to find the gems first. I can worry about getting home later.”

Spike quirked a brow. “Uh, are you okay, dude? You didn’t look like yourself for a second there.”

“Yeah.” Balthazar nodded his head. “I’m fine, Scales. Don’t worry about me.”

“Well, then I’ll go next,” Twilight said. “You mentioned gems just now; what kind of gems are you referring to exactly?”

“The Infinity Gems,” Balthazar spoke, leaving his strange outburst behind him. A grin tugged at his face as he thought of how to describe them. “A set of six that when collected grant the user, Unlimited Power!” he belted out in his best Palpatine impression.

Pinkie pointed at each of the sockets, her muzzle scrunching up in concentration. “You said there were six, but you have eight spots on your glove,” she pointed out, zipping over and holding the gauntlet up to his face. “See?”

“Yeah, I noticed that.” Balthazar grabbed the gauntlet, sliding it back on. “The gauntlet is only supposed to have six slots. I have no idea what the other two are for.”

“These sound like my kinds of gems,” Rarity said with a smile, primping her mane. “As functional as they are fabulous.”

“I’ve heard of these gems before!” Twilight beamed. “They’re not common knowledge, per se, but there’s plenty of information on them in academic writings. It’s widely believed that a primordial being split itself into eight different parts to create them!”

“Right.” Something in the back of his head told him that was wrong, but he didn’t know why. “Eight huh? What were the other two?”

“There’s some debate on that subject,” Twilight said, motioning with her hand, “but the currently held consensus is that they were Death and Rhythm.”

“Death was a fake gem in the comics,” Balthazar said, rubbing his chin. “It was made as a trap for a villain named Thanos. Rhythm was something from a video game.”

At that moment, Fluttershy turned from the stove and sat a steaming plate in front of Balthazar. It was piled high with curry, the sauce being slightly red. “There you go, I made it extra special for you,” she chimed, giving him a warm smile. “I didn’t know if you ate meat or not so I put in pieces of fried tofu.”

“Thanks.” Balthazar didn’t wait, digging right in. “Damn, you make some damn good curry. Tofu’s okay though. I’m pretty meh on it.” His piece spoken, he went back to devouring the curry.

Fluttershy giggled, walking over to the sink to wash her hands. She looked over her shoulder at him, still smiling. “With how many fussy animals I’ve taken care of, I get plenty of practice cooking. And just tell me something you’d rather have over tofu if you come visit again.”

“Meat,” came Balthazar’s muffled reply.

She turned back to him, wiping her hands off with a paper towel and throwing it away. “Okay, what kind of meat would you like? I have plenty of fish thanks to the bears and cats I’ve taken care of.”

“Fish is good.” He gave her a thumbs up.

Fluttershy nodded, looking over to her fridge and rubbing her chin in thought. “Hmm, I’ve never put fish in the curry I’ve made before. I’ll have to make several versions and have Harry taste test them for me.” She let out a tittering laugh. “I think he’d be eager to help.”

Rarity watched Balthazar eat, a look of disgust crossing her face. “You know, Twilight darling, he eats almost as badly as you do.”

Twilight shot Rarity a look, her feathers ruffling on her back. “And what’s wrong with the way I eat?”

“Rest assured darling.” Rarity threw her mane back, wearing a confident smile. “A few lessons with me, and the two of you should be eating properly!” A piece of tofu landed on her muzzle, causing her smile to fade. “Lessons that can’t come soon enough.”

“Pass,” Balthazar said, scooping up a giant spoonful and popping it into his mouth. “I don’t plan on sharing a meal with the queen or something, so those lessons just sound like a waste of time.” Locking eyes with Rarity, he made his chewing as obnoxiously loud as possible.

Rarity cringed, watching as Balthazar made sure to open his mouth wide and give her a good view of his chewed food. She turned her head away, making a face of disgust. “Does never spending an evening with a mare sound better? Because with table manners like those, that’s the path you’re happily marching down.”

He waved his hand dismissively, a cocky grin on his face. “I can wow a lady just fine, thank you. No extra manners needed.” He went back to eating, humming happily and closing his eyes. “Thanks for the offer though.”

“Perhaps I should look for these gems myself?”” Mane-iac commented, rubbing her hands together. “With power like that, nothing will stop me from making the world as I wish!” she threw her head back, letting out a long, insane cackle.

Balth shot her a look, the fork hanging out of his mouth. “Try even touching one and I’ll shave that head of yours. Then let’s see you fight the Philistines.”

This caused Mane-iac to quiet down, her hair twitching in agitation. After a few moments, she shot Balth a glare and muttered to herself. “You will be the first victim of my god-like power.”

“Whatever you say, Bad Hair Day.” Balth set his fork down, lifting his bowl up and drinking down the last of the curry. “That hit the spot alright~” Setting it down, he stretched his arms over his head. “Not as good as Mom’s but, really, what food is?”

Fluttershy giggled, holding a hand in front of her mouth. “I won’t take that personally, nothing compares to home cooking from my own parents.”

“So.” Balth clapped his hands together, growling in pain as his hand slapped against his armored hand. “What’s on the docket for the rest of the day? We gonna sit around and play twenty questions; or what?”

“I think we might have a few more questions,” Twilight admitted, getting up from her own seat. “After that I’d like to do a few tests so we can understand you a bit better. And of course there’s the matter of finding you a place to stay. Does that all sound okay to you?”

“Fine.” Balth waved his hand, gesturing for them to ask their questions.

“I have an important question for you.” Pinkie got up and leaned in close to Balth, dominating his vision. “How do you feel about parties?”

“Eh.” He shrugged noncommittally. “They’re okay.”

Pinkie narrowed her eyes at him, letting out a snort. “Oh, is that so.” She then slunk into the back of the group, her legs seeming to remain still. “I’ll make you a believer in parties,” she muttered.

“Right...” Balth looked to the other girls. “So... any less inane questions?”

“Do you have any skills I should know about?” Twilight asked. “I could probably help you get a job somewhere if you did.”

“I have a working knowledge of astrophysics, with an emphasis on the motion of celestial bodies, and for a short while in high school I managed a Wendy’s.” Balthazar rubbed his chin. “I know a lot about comics, not sure how that would help here though...”

“Oh!” Spike shot up, holding the comic that they had all been trapped in a few hours ago. “The Ponyville Comic Shop closed a while ago, that’s why I had to go to Canterlot for this! Maybe we could get him a loan to buy it!”

Twilight nodded, rubbing her chin. “That might be doable; I’ll write a letter to Princess Celestia and see if she can divert some of the stipend I receive from her to that end. Though, we still need to worry about housing...”

“I remember overhearing that the comic shop had housing on its second floor,” Spike offered, his tail wishing and a smile etched onto his face. He turned his attention to Fluttershy. “Is there room for Balth here until he gets his loan approved?”

Fluttershy nodded, giving Balth a kind look. “He can stay as long as he likes; if he doesn’t mind helping me around the cottage.”

Balthazar gave her a large smile, putting hand to his chest and offering Fluttershy a bow. “I assure you, my maan raised me right. There’s no way I could be a layabout in the home of a lady that saved my life.” Straightening up, he winked at her. “Side’s . not much else for me to do.”

“There’d be plenty of room at my place,” Dash started, putting her hands behind her head, “if you wouldn’t mind plummeting through a cloud floor.”

Balthazar chuckled weakly, doing his best not to picture falling to his doom. After a moment, he realized the strangeness of her sentence. “Hold on a second, how do you have cloud floors?”

“It’s pretty common for pegasi to make our homes out of clouds,” Rainbow answered, a prideful smile on her face. “Hay, we even have an entire city made out of them. Cloudsdale is the pride of pegasi all over Equestria.”

“Heh, Cloud City,” Balth chuckled, a smirk on his face. “Here’s hoping I don’t get frozen in carbonite if I ever visit there. So... we gonna do anything else besides play 20 questions? Not that I don’t mind chit chat, but uh, I’d rather not today be boring.”

“I could always show you the comic shop so you can get a feel for what could be your new home,” Twilight offered, arching her brow slightly as she ignored his rude behavior. “That is, if you’re up to walking through town.”

Balthazar stood up from the table, making a show of moving his legs around. “I think I’ll be ok to walk. Not like I’d be able to say no to exploring a fantasy world anyway.” He flashed her a thumbs up and a cocky grin. “Lead the way, Matterhorn.”

“Please don’t call me that,” Twilight replied, getting out of her own seat and leading him to the door. “Twilight is just fine, thank you very much.” Opening the door, she turned to the others. “I think I have it from here girls.”

“Fine by me,” Dash said, stretching her arms over her head. “Cleaning that castle and fighting a supervillain wiped me out. I’m gonna go home, check on Tank and relax.” The other girls shared similar sentiments and went on their way. Save Fluttershy who was already home. Spike grabbed Mane-iac and followed Fluttershy out the door.

“Let go of me you useless mascot!” Mane-iac growled, yanking her arm away. “Keep your claws to yourself, Humdunce.”

“My name is Spike,” the drake replied, ignoring her warnings and continuing to lead her towards town. “And last time I checked, I was the one that shut your machine down. So, take that.” Puffing his chest out, Spike stuck his nose up at her posturing.

A wicked grin spread across Mane-iac’s face and she stuck one of her hair tendrils out in front of Spike, causing him to trip. “You really should watch where you walk, Spike. You never know when you might come across something that can trip you up.” Putting on a fake smile, she helped him back to his feet.

Spike snorted a puff of smoke, glaring at her. She kept her smile up, ignoring his obvious annoyance with her. “I’m watching you, Hair Ball.” For the rest of the walk, Spike kept an eye on Mane-iac, a sour look on his face.

Balthazar looked back at the pair, noting that Mane-iac’s fake smile seemed to slowly become genuine as she continued to pester Spike during the trip through town. He chuckled, returning his attention to the road ahead of him while Twilight tried to tell him about various locations.

“-here we are!” Twilight almost struck a pose, gesturing to the building in front of her. “This building used to be the Ponyville branch of Crackle Comics. The owner retired not to long ago, leaving the place vacant.”

“Crackle Comics?” Balthazar repeated, taking in the building. The outside looked to be in fine condition with the only blemish being a discoloration on the front where a sign once was. Though that didn’t mean anything about the inside. He probably had his work cut out for him in the cleaning department. “That’s an interesting name.”

“The owner of the franchise is Kirby Crackle,” Spike elaborated, standing next to Balthazar. “My brother used to take me to Kirby’s Canterlot store all the time. I stop by whenever we’re in town.”

Upon hearing that name, Balth couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “Okay, that name is perfect. If he has a friend named Stan I think I’ll die laughing.” Cutting his laugh short, he cleared his throat. “So... do we talk to the realty office or what?”

“That’s right,” Twilight said, turning to him with a smile. “Though since you’re not a citizen and I doubt you have any of our currency, I’ll put the deed in my name. You can get it once you’ve started earning money and get those papers in order.”

“Right. I can run a comic shop.” Turning away, he poked Spike’s chest. “You can be my cleric, Scales. You know more about the comics here than I do.”

Spike grinned, looking to Twilight. “Can I work at the shop?” he practically begged, his tail swishing behind him. “It sounds like a lot of fun!”

Twilight held fast for a moment before caving to his look. “Alright, alright. You can work, but!” She held a finger up. “Part time only, got it?”

Cheering, Spike wrapped his arms around her waist in a tight hug. “Thanks, Twi! You’re the best big sister ever!” Pulling away, he gave Balthazar a thumbs up. “You’ve got yourself an assistant!” A devious smile crossed his face. “And you can have Hairy over there be the janitor.”

“I would sooner shave my fur and mane than be a lowly janitor!” Mane-iac growled, her mane thrashing about. “They should make you the mascot. You can stand on the street corner and die of heat exhaustion.”

“Easy there, Mane-iac,” Balthazar said, putting a hand on the pre-teen supervillain’s shoulder. “I’m not gonna make you be a janitor. And Scales isn’t going to stand around in a killer costume. You’ll be a part timer just like him! Can you imagine how many people will flock to the store when they see you?”

“Absolutely, unequivocally no,” Mane-iac said flatly, glaring at the young man.

Leaning down to her level, Balthazar pouted. “Are you sure? Can you imagine the adoration you’ll get from the unwashed masses? People will come from far and wide, just to see you. Think about it! You’ll be one of the most famous ponies on the planet!”

Mane-iac crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her hoof on the ground. Looking down, she scrunched her muzzle up in thought. “Hmm, fame doesn’t sound bad. Fine, I will try being the draw to your pitiful shop, but if I hate it, expect to find my mane at your throat.”

“Of course, of course.” Winking at Twilight, Balthazar stood back up. Not even a day in horse woman land and he was going to open a store. Sure, it wasn’t what he was expecting, or even what he was studying, he’d make it work. Holding his gauntlet up, he inspected the empty sockets. Eight gems. Eight gems stood between him and going home. “I’ll find them, maan, I promise.”