The Average Day of A Bad Self-Insert: The Sequel: The Continuation

by Alfoals Trottenbauer

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Profanity, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death, Alternate Universe, Thriller, Original Character
Length: 1439

Ace gets caught up in a coup against the new Mary Sue government.

The Mary Sues and Gary Stues have taken over Equestria. The uprising of a rebellion begins in Ponyville.

Published 2017-12-16 21:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-16 21:00:07 UTC

II - Rising Against

Ace trotted into the small building. Shining Armor and a few of the Royal Guard cantered over to him.

"State your purpose." Shining said imperatively.

"Are you recruiting?" Ace asked.

"Yes, but first I have a few questions for you." He stated,

"Suppose somepony's getting detained, but you don't know them, what do you do?" He asked.

"Well, I'd take them from the Mary Sues and get them to a safe place." Ace answered.

"Suppose you've found a Mary Sue armory, what do you do?" He posed the hypothetical.

"I take as many weapons as I can carry." Ace answered.

"And finally, you've been captured and you bear information. Do you confess?" He asked the final question.

"No, it might endanger my friends." Ace answered.

"Welcome to the Remnant." Shining responded, "There's an armory on the other side of the building."

Once there he had found a katana that he levitated into it's sheath and strapped it on his back.

"Why a katana?" Ace asked himself, mostly.

"I decided it'd be good." A voice said above him.

The writer is back, and as poorly educated as ever.

III - Boiling Point

"What would you like me to write, sire?" The scrawny messenger asked nervously.

"Send the message that your king is back." King Sombra commanded with an evil grin.

The messenger galloped out of the throne room in a flash.

A Royal Guard galloped into the Remnant building.

"I bear a message, King Sombra has returned with an army!" He shouted, panting.

The whole building filled with panic.

"Get your weapons ready, we're going to them before they get to us." Shining shouted above the cacophony of voices.

Soon enough Ace was walking in a sea of ponies. Spears and other polearms rose above his head. One stallion held a two-handed sword in a blue aura. They were headed to battle. Halfway there they were met by Sombra's army in the North.

Overhead, insect wings roared in the sky. A raging swarm of changelings swooped down in the East.

A legion of Mary Sues trotted in from the West, led by Rainbow Sparkle.

"So, where's the so-called powerful Twilight Sparkle?" King Sombra inquired.

"That's Rainbow Sparkle to you!" She shouted as her eyes turned red.

"Cute. But seriously, where is your leader?" Queen Chrysalis asked.

"Attack, oh wonderful Sparkle Guard!" Rainbow Sparkle shouted crazily.

"Protect the Crystal Empire, my subjects!"King Sombra bellowed.

"Take flight, my children!" Queen Chrysalis commanded.

"Charge!" Shining Armor gave the sign.

The three armies, like tidal waves, crashed into the mary Sues.

Ace galloped with the rest of them, slashing at poorly described throats with his katana.

Death Knell the demon stallion was on the vanguard. He was the illegitimate son of King Sombra and Queen Chrysalis'. His eyes would contrarily glow darkness whenever he was angry. His long black and red mane hung in his face. He was the ultimate life form of Equestria. He wielded two pistols, the only firearms to exist in the world.

The Equestrian remnant trampled him half to death.

Ace stepped over him awkwardly.

Queen Chrysalis' army wasn't faring well.

"Guard Chrysalis' flank!" Shining called out.

The Remnant dashed to the Changeling's right front side.

Sacred Lectern read his book during the charge. He was in a infinite state of constantly reading books. Whether it was in his sleep, in his dreams, dead, in the shower, ceasing to exist, there was a book in his hooves. He practically lived at Twilight's library. He joined the Mary Sues because ever since Twilight had become an asshole, he had nothing worth living for.

A spear pierced his last book.

"What the bucking hay!?" He screamed, putting a hoof through the gaping hole in the book, "How will I ever find out how Applesack falls in love with Charity!?"

He ran away, crying. What seemed like a formidable army of the best ponies was only a very diverse cast of boasting ones.

Soon after Lectern retreated, the whole army gave way.

IV - Heavy Fortification

The Equestrian Remnant, the Crystal Empire, and the Changelings trotted down the road towards Canterlot. They were suddenly ambushed by Gary Stues. They jumped out of adjacent bushes.

"For Blilight Sparkle!" One hollered as he struck down a guard.

He was captured by the army soon after.

Ace slashed a Gary Stue as it jumped at him. The ambush fell flat, due to the allied forces' numbers. Several more ambushes occurred down the way.

They made camp by the side of the dirt path, a group of the Royal Guard questioning the Gary Stue prisoner who Blilight Sparkle is.

He finally broke after a few hours.

"Stop!", he pleaded.

"Blilight Sparkle is our Deity, she's the ultimate Mary Sue!" He blurted.

When the day broke, they let him free and followed him to Celestia's castle.

The castle wasn't how it used to be. A large beam of dark red light protruded from the highest tower and reached into the skies. The beam was so intense that it had been splitting large black storm clouds straight in half. A long line of halved clouds dragged across the sky.

The castle itself was covered with black spikes and thorns. The thorns seemed to move around the castle walls in circles rapidly. The wood in the thorned branches creaked loudly. The door was bolted shut and slots had been cut into the walls for arrows.

Suddenly, a storm of arrows erupted from the slots. If it hadn't been for the vanguard of Sombra's army galloping in front with their tower shields, the whole army would be gone. They busted down the door, flooding in.

V - Invasion

After skirmishing with squads of Mary Sues, they finally reached Rainbow Sparkle, sitting on a black throne with spikes on the tops and thorns squirming at her hooves.

"So, you're finally here. Your little prisoner here told me about your arrival." Rainbow commented.

The stallion from the ambush hid behind the throne, shivering and pale.

"What kind of coward sends their people to fight and does not come with them?" Sombra asked angrily.

"None of you are worth my time, Sombra." She said in a reclining way.

She jumped off the throne, landing in front of them.

"Now, who wants to die first?" She asked.

A royal guard slashed her leg and she fell.

"Well, that was anti-climactic." Ace said to himself.

VI - Epilogue

"They restored Celestia's throne, and that concludes this series." Twilight said as she closed the book titled 'The Average Day of a Bad Self-Insert'.

The audience of foals she read to at the daycare were clearly traumatized.

I - First Impressions

Ace trotted calmly down the path from his home. A Mary Sue bucked him over.

"What the hay?" Ace said, annoyed.

"Excuse me?" The starry-maned mare replied.

"What, does your brain not work? You kicked me." He asked.

"I'm superior to you in status, you don't talk to me like that." She asserted.

"Last time I checked, you weren't even in Equestria." He responded.

She bucked him again."Princess Rainbow Sparkle should do something about ponies like you." She commented as she trotted off.

Ace looked around him. Strangely enough, Ponyville had royal guards roaming the streets, and somehow they didn't look right... They all had sparkling rainbow manes and pink irises.

A paper was blown into Ace's face. He levitated it in front of him. The headline read:

'Canterlot Captured by Mary Sues, Celestia Overpowered'

The paper showed a picture of Rainbow Sparkle, the mare that he had been running from yesterday. It was unbelievable that somepony could as capture a castle and it's town overnight. A shout came from down the path.

Three guards were beating Spike with batons. Ace galloped over to them. He hit one with his hoof. The guard dropped his baton and Ace levitated it. He hit the same guard with his baton, knocking him out.

The guards turned towards him. Ace bucked a guard with his back hooves. The guard fell to the ground. The last one galloped away.

"Ace! You saved me. I know they wouldn't stop until I was dead." He thanked.

"I saw you were in trouble. Is there any force against the Mary Sues?" Ace asked.

"There is one, it's called The Equestrian Remnant. The real Royal Guard is the majority of it." He explained.

"Where can I find them?" Ace asked.

"There's a base just outside of town." Spike pointed a finger out towards the north.

"Thanks, I'll go there." Ace said as he trotted off.