KONO DIO DA: Bites The DIO

by DIO Brando

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Other, Adventure, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery
Length: 1376

The third part of KONO DIO DA! DIO and some new friends embark on a journey to find the mysterious killer once and for all, and discover some things about themselves and this new world along the way.

The third part of KONO DIO DA! DIO and some new friends embark on a journey to find the mysterious killer once and for all, and discover some things about themselves and this new world along the way.

This is going to be very fun.

EDIT: Republished due to some writing issues. I was a little tired that first go round, hopefully the rewrite helped.

Published 2017-12-31 07:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-31 07:30:06 UTC

Another

DIO sat, taking a bite of a crumpet and drinking some sweet tea, the soothing feeling of an air-conditioned home allowing him to recline rather comfortably into a plush chair with a newspaper folded out in front of him. How odd of a circumstance that a Joestar would appear. Of course, he didn't feel hatred, but he felt as if he were supposed to. How bizarre an occurrence!

Meanwhile, Josuke simply looked around idly, not sure what he had gotten himself into. As far as he knew, besides the obvious fact that he was with a murderous, vampiric, stand-empowered, egotistical, 80's-fashioned M E N A C I N G dude, is that there were suddenly talking horses, and the blondie had the temper of a ginger. Surely, this wasn't a good predicament, but it sure was an interesting one. After all, what's one more adventure? Couldn't do anyone harm. Right?

Twilight stared at her extremely inefficient and over-sophisticated device readings, killing more trees than a solar farm as it spat out an ungodly string of algorithms. Frustrated, she let out a loud growl, hitting her head on the machine gently. For some reason, she had an uncanny feeling that something strange would happen today, and she knew she couldn't take the chance of that feeling being a simple anticipation for a randomly-occurring string of recent events. She was keeping watch as much she could. After all, she was the only one who understood that horseshit.

Rainbow Dash, on the other hand—hoof whatever—was reclined as well, hardly conscious from Apple Cider-chugging. All she was thinking about was getting back to everyday lazy life. Though, she thought DIO was kind of cool, she didn't care for all of the universe-threatening drama that took up the time she could be spending laying down. It was boring enough being an element-wielder, now she has to get involved in some other power invading the world from another world? B o r i n g.

Luna sat still, thinking about everything going on. About her sister, about DIO, about so many of the bizarre things happening. Not only, however, about the appearance of Lord DIO and the other stand-empowered humans, but about things that had happened in the past. She thought about more than just this universe and that one, she thought about all of them. Her concern grew more and more until her thought was suddenly interrupted by Twilight erupting with a sort of ecstatic joy.

"AHA! I was RIGHT!" Twilight shouted, looking at the papers with gleaming eyes. Dash grunted and Josuke flinched at the sudden shout as DIO and Luna simply looked over with equally unchanged frowns.

"About?" DIO questioned calmly, looking at the paper from a distance and attempting to interpret the algorithms.

"Another stand user," Twilight said. DIO and Luna both widened their eyes a bit, as they attempted to look closer. Twilight walked up to them, shoving the paper in their faces. "Look!"

DIO gently pushed the paper away, taking a look at it with Luna.

"It looks like they have substantial power, but my machine is running out of ink," Twilight said. Rainbow Dash opened her eyes up halfway to look at the ceiling. "As far as I can see, the algorithms are pointing to a energy surge approaching this variable at an exponential rate, surging on and off based on a psychological factor in—"

"You know, you could just explain it without going into half the math you're making up," Rainbow said with a sigh, closing her eyes again. Twilight frowned, looking over at her.

"Well for your information, Rainbow Dash, I happen to know what I'm talking about, and no one wants to hear your negativity. Hmph!"

"You know what no one wants to hear?" Rainbow asked tiredly, as she raised her hoof at the door. "Hey, Fluttershy."

"Yes Rainbow Dash?" Flutters said, peeking in with a cute smile and big shiny eyes. Twilight shot a glare at Rainbow.

"You wouldn't."

"Twilight is killing trees again~" Rainbow said tauntingly. Fluttershy looked at Twilight with an angry face, then at the paper before gasping and falling silent.

DIO looked at Fluttershy confused, then at Rainbow. Rainbow only grinned, looking back at DIO.

"She's an environmentalist, I don't know how she even eats." Rainbow pointed out.

"Twilight!!!" Fluttershy squeaked in her most intimidating voice. "You can't kill trees like that! It's evil! Pure evil! You should do the math on rocks instead!"

"Fluttershy, trees don't feel pain it's fine!" Twilight said sheepishly.

"Yes they do!" Fluttershy retorted belligerently. Rainbow chuckled, sitting next to DIO and leaning over.

"The argument typically ends with this next comment, but it still pisses Twi the hell off." Rainbow said. DIO nodded slightly.

"Where is your proof!" Twilight demanded, puffing her chest out as Fluttershy never knew the science to disprove her claim.

"Well!" Fluttershy thought for a moment. "They have Noisy Septers that feel pain! And they sleep too because they droop at night like muscles get relaxed during sleep!" Twilight's eyes widened as she looked at Fluttershy.

"You mean. . .Nociceptors?"

"Yeah! Nossy Septers!"

Everyone looked at Fluttershy.

"Wh. . .what?" she blushed gently. Rainbow Dash stared in awe before bursting with an uncontrollable laughter.

"HA! TWILIGHT, YOU GOT OUTSMARTED BY FLUTTERSHY!" she slapped her knee hard, still laughing uncontrollably.

Josuke silently wondered how she slapped her knee if she technically doesn't have a—

His thought was interrupted by a loud alarm sound coming from the machine. Everyone looked at the odd device as it was starting blinking red. Twilight ran to it.

"What is that?" Fluttershy asked.

"Is it another stand user?" Josuke asked.

"Could it be a greater threat?" Luna asked.

"Is it getting me another apple cider?" Rainbow asked, "Answer: No." She laid back down as Twilight ran to the machine to look at it.

"I. . .I don't know. . .Either it's something really bad or. . ." She stared at the solid-white paper coming out. "Oh, I'm just out of ink." Luna sighed with relief before noticing DIO's expression.

"Lord DIO, are you alright?" she asked. DIO placed a hand on her back gently, staring at the wall blankly.

"Something just stopped-time."

In another location, Kira, now disguised as an equine, trotted along a beach with Lyra before noticing a smell of burning. He looked at a small trail of smoke coming from a large rock nearby.

"Over there," he said, Lyra moving with him as they approached the rock to investigate.

"It's pure magic residue. . ." Lyra said quietly, taking a closer look. "But this is different from just a discharge, it was somehow reflected."

"How do you know?" Kira asked. Lyra looked up at him, then at her horn.

"I can split a rock in two with my magic," she said, "not a problem. . .But this is a much more powerful magic. There's a difference in the consistency, or something sciency. Either way, it would have obliterated this rock and then some had the rock been the intended target."

"If it wasn't the rock, then who was?" Kira thought aloud. Lyra looked off into the distance to see some odd cloud formations.

"There, the clouds," she said, pointing at them. Kira looked. "Something large and fast flew through those."

Kira nodded.

"We should investigate further." Kira said, walking towards it.

"Yeah." Lyra replied, following after him.

A new human had joined the game. Infiltrating a system much larger than they could imagine. No one knew, not even he, what truly lied ahead. The way everything would end up, the way things would tie together. It was all unknown until harshly revealed to everyone.

Author's Note

AFTER LONG WAIT, I got off my ass and, well, actually got back on my ass to write the story. It's not like I use that standing-desk shit, I'm only athletic enough to walk across a store doing retail for $9 an hour.

Life is shit, and that's the perfect time to make some good jokes, so bare with me while I try to produce a piece of unblemished gold with stone tools and a chunk of coal.

The one I got for Christmas this year.

Fuck you Santa.