" Hey Jack, hurry up, you're going to be late for that Comi-con thing " he called with a fair amount of anger due to waiting for so damn long

yep, guess who that was? My snake of a father, asshole, is a good person, but is somewhat corrupt in the way he does things. Rather not get into it.

" Scheisse, I'm damn well coming you moron! It takes a bit of damn effort to get this damn costume to look right! I heard they're doing a competition and I want to win it damnit! " Yep, I WAS going to try to win it, but I was missing a very important piece of my costume.

" You're taking longer than your mother takes to get ready! HA HA HA! " I reply " Oh shut up filthy fat fag! I'm damn well hurrying! Scheisse... its like you don't even know what patience is! "

That is an insult I say to my father, Filthy fat fag, what an insult right? Got it from a video, one where spy from tf2 called heavy a ' Filthy fat man ' derived it from there. " Alright! Finally done, took for-fucking-ever to get those damn feathers in place! " Yep, guess what I'm cosplaying as? An Avali from a mod that is for the game Starbound. Fluffy and 'cute' space raptors. Those damn things can shred foes to pieces just as well as any other race, so they sure as all hell aren't cute when they go nuts with a 2handed sword or hammer! Not to mention with frackin races, a large boost to resistance to ice! Awesome! I then say " Well, lets go, no time to waste now. " We quickly got into a vehicle and got moving, made good time, got there in minutes.

After we got there, I learned that the competition would be later, so I went through and kept checking through the stalls, until I saw a very certain someone, said someone, looked 'just' like the merchant from resident evil 4. And was inside of a TENT for a stand. Great! Comi-con? Check! Creepy merchant? Check! Going to be displaced to Equestria? Hopefully not. As I saw the matter manipulator on his table and I instantly was there and actually scared him by nearly shouting " HOW MUCH FOR THE MATTER MANIPULATOR????!!!! "

He recoiled back and cursed enough put a sailors cursing to shame. After that and a rather mean look, he said ( With a perfect Resident evil 4 merchant accent ) " Stranger, after that? It was at 40, but now its 60. Are you fucking serious?! God damnit, that's 1/14 of all the cash I have.... I give a very VERY slight glare.

" Fine, but I want to see what else Is around here, and preferably something functional, not just something too heavy for any mortal man to swing around "

The merchant laughs " Great choice, stranger, perhaps you're interested in those items over there? " He points to a shelf. I look and see something beautiful, a perfect, 44 magnum loaded carbon copy of the spy's festive ambassador revolver ( but no light on it ) the sapper, the invis watch, the dead ringer, the cloak and dagger, and three knives, the Y.E.R, the stock butterfly knife, and the big earner.

I ask these few questions " Is the ambassador chambered in 44 magnum or is it 357 or 454? Are the knives sharpened with a 20 degree angle down to very fine? and does the dead ringer actually function as a pocket watch as well as the light up LED display for the battery meter of the supposed faked death? "

He answered them in quick order " 44 magnum, 20 degree angle down to very fine, and yes it does. " I say this while paying him

" One last thing, merchant. Ignis, and FUS RO DAH! " I had timed it perfectly, as something behind him caught fire and a few items fell off the display shelves, when I said ignis and FUS RO DAH respectively. He quickly throws some water on the flames and forces me to pick up the stuff that fell, after that I quickly grab everything and get ready to go

" Well stranger, you're certainly an interesting one, oh, and have fun " I was wondering what he meant by that when I saw a portal open up in front of me on the ground, I was like Well shit, I'm being displaced, OH WELL! " Inie mini mini moe! WELL FUCK IT! HERE I GO! " I jumped through the portal while looking as badass as possible, and that is all before I woke up in equestria.

Author's Note

I'm sorry for un-publishing the chapter after this, I realized It was rushed, I'm going to re write it and add it back within a few weeks, so sorry about that.