Skating To Pain

by Darkwing Dust

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Self Insert, Equestria Girls
Length: 2674

Three Stardusts, Two Twilights and a Sunset going ice skating~! What can possible go wrong with this scenario? Oh right...

Three Stardusts. One a pony, one a teen, and one whom maintained his original body from the real world. In the infamous EQG world, Sunset invites both Stardusts and their respective Twilights to join her and her respective Stardust on a nice ice skating date in the park. Things are bound to go smoothly right?

Right...?

...Of course, it's Stardust we're talking about. And with three of them, the pain will increase thrice hold for them. And you thought the Equestrian Twilight couldn't skate...

Published 2017-12-10 17:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-10 17:40:07 UTC

Skating To Pain

"[BEEP]!"

"L-Language Jack!"

The golden teen hissed, barely clinging onto his girlfriend for life. Worse still, said girlfriend was having just as much trouble, weighing too much on one another to keep from falling altogether on the rough clear surface... And failing miserably, the pair collapsing atop one another with the male growling in irritable pain.

"You alright?" Stardust inquired, handing the human Twilight back her glasses. The studious girl nodded, carefully picking herself back up... And nearly falling again, with the taller teen to quickly catch her.

"It just comes down to practice..." Twilight murmured, steadying her posture atop the ice. The unlucky pair gripped each other's arms firmly, utilizing one another as life support for this rather questionably dangerous activity. Her tempered boyfriend scowled at the surface beneath them and grumbled, prompting Twilight to shake her head with a small reassuring smile. "We'll get it right eventually, Jack. Let's try again."

Of course, God hates them.

"Go ice skating, they said." Stardust grumbled after picking himself back up again, helping Twilight straighten afterwards. "It will be fun, they said..."

"Well, it looks like they're having fun." He followed Twilight's pointing towards the next pair on the other side of the frozen lake, using it for themselves.

"That's it." The pony Stardust in humanoid form smiled gently to his special somepony, keeping a close distance beside the Princess as he helped her get the hand of this activity. "You've got this love."

The alicorn-turned-teenager nodded slowly, her grin widening as her slow and steady pace increased with growing skill. "I think I'm getting the hang of it- Whoa!"

"Easy!" But Equestrian Stardust sounded more amused than anything, preventing his girlfriend from falling over with a humoured grin, steadying her again. "All about balance Twilight. Here." And firmly holding the mare's hand, the confident oldest among the Stardust's slowly but gently escorted Twilight around the lake, to their human selves' inner envy.

"When did you get so good at this?" The Princess had to ask, unable to hide the entertained grin as the two skated around, allowing her boyfriend to take the lead and follow while learning, unwilling to make the same mistake back in Ponyville so long ago.

"Magic love." Stardust smirked, then spotted two blurs from the corner of his vision and nodded over. "And I had a great teacher."

For it wasn't just both Twilight's skating around with their respective boyfriend. Sunset Shimmer, interlocking a hand with her own boyfriend, blazed through the ice accompanied by the shortest version of the males, the one maintaining his original body and name. Sunset and Jack had huge smiles on their faces, laughing in content whilst skating around in perfected grace, whirling and twirling one another like a synchronized dance, oblivious to the amused and annoyed expressions by their friends and, in Jack's, older and younger counterparts.

"How? How?!" The teenage Stardust expressed furious disbelief, unable to accept that fact that his weakest, laziest and unhealthy self was besting him at a sport like ice skating.

"Sunset must have been giving lessons." Earth Twilight stated with a raised impressed brow, inciting her incredulous boyfriend to snort.

"The two can't last a minute together without making out like wild animals. How the [BEEP] do they have time for lessons?"

The glasses-wearing teen shrugged. "I'm just saying, Sunset's always been good at skating. Obviously we should've turned to her for a few lessons beforehand-" The blinking genius was promptly cut off by her Stardust suddenly clutching her hand, iron determination shifting on gold lean features and hazel eyes.

Oh no...

"I refuse to be bested at something like this by that lazy piece of [BEEP]. Come on."

"I hate it when he's like this..."

"Welcome to the club..."

Sunset only gave the two lavender teens a sympathetic and amused smile, looking back to where both Twilight's were watching their respective boys circle around the icy lake in heated competition. Jack, having joined in the offered race, gave up in two laps and settled to just skate around within the middle of the lake, cracking grins and winks while making rather unorthodox attempts to impress the giggling bacon-haired teen.

"Are you okay?" The Princess of Friendship asked after noticing her counterpart's wince, offering a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine." Other Twilight reassured with a wry grin. "Just a couple of bruises, nothing serious." And looked back up towards the race. "I'm just worried about Jack getting worse injuries over the course of this race. He can be fiercely competitive."

The alicorn-turned-teen smirked faintly, noting the intense expressions on their boyfriends as they sped by, the three girls observing on soft snow outside the edge of the lake. "I know what you mean. Regardless how often he denies it, my Jack always aims to win in any contest he enters."

"Heh." Followed with the glasses-wearing-teenager to call out firmly. "Jack you're getting ahead of yourself. Slow down!"

"I'm fine Twilight!" The lean golden boy retorted as he attempted to catch up with his own alternate version, whom was besting him without much difficulty.

"Uh-huh..." Human Twilight folded her arms with a tired grin and jokingly referred to her Equestrian self. "Guess we'll have to prepare to play nurse again after this is over."

"Mm-hm." The pony version nodded in fond exasperation, glancing over to Sunset. "Be thankful your Jack isn't putting himself in the line of injury."

In response, the yellow former Equestrian just shook her head with a wry smile, gesturing over towards her boyfriend in question. Both Twilight's followed that motion to witness the shortest version of Jack spinning around on the spot.

On his back.

With limbs and head curled upwards.

...All three teens shared one expression. "Make that three of them we'll have to take care after." Princess Twilight stated in knowing humour, sighing along with her friends.

Meanwhile, human Stardust was showing more and more signs of aggravation by the form of his older self openly twirling and smirking in front of him, the former's fists clenching tightly with grit teeth. This world's Twilight already sensed trouble coming from how easily riled up her Jack can get, and mentally prepared for the worst by making an inward list of everything that should be ready for the following catastrophe afterwards, unknowing her Princess counterpart doing the same thing.

That prediction proved fruitful, regrettably, as human Stardust took advantage of the next turn and leapt like a wild animal, smashing into his pony self's waist and sending the two sliding off the edge... And into a hard tree. Both Twilight's winced at the sound, and hurried over to aid their boys covered in deep snow with multiple limbs sticking out. Sunset was about to join them-

"Uh, Sunset..." A weak voice called out by the frozen lake's center in pained sheepishness. "I think I just broke my back."

"This is all your fault and you know it."

"Me? You're the one who issued the challenge."

"And you're the one who accepted!"

"In that case, why aren't you blaming this Jack too?!"

"Both of you, please." The Princess' stern shut them up, the alicorn-turned-teen tending to her Stardust on the right of the couch, human Twilight's on the left, and Sunset's in the middle, all three boys being cared for by their exasperated girlfriends. "We need to concentrate, and having you guys bicker will only stall cleaning your wounds."

"I'm not complaining." Jack, the short one with glasses and pale skin, pointed out with a humoured smile despite his injuries. "Being tended by the girl of my dreams? Worth it." Sunset, pressing a cloth to the boy's back rolled her eyes in amused fondness, while one Stardust snorted and the other smirked.

"Sometimes I can barely comprehend your thought process." The CHS Twilight stated towards her injured boyfriend, talking in firm disapproval while wrapping the bandages around the strained ankle. "Losing your calm like that again. You should've known better than to let loose your temper in those conditions, Jack."

"You're not off the hook either." The pony Twilight stated with equal measures of irritated exasperation, wiping the smirk off her Jack's face while dressing his pure gold right shoulder. "Continuously aggravating your other self like that during the race. Yes, I noticed. We all did. Just because you can show off doesn't mean you should, Jack."

The Jack between them watched the berated versions with a pleased grin, quickly noticed by a humoured Sunset.

"You're not escaping this either, Jack." She pointed out with emphasis, the young boys flinching at the physical jab of the cloth to his bruised back. "Pulling off stunts like that in a desperate attempt to impress me? I would've settled for you just putting our lessons to good use instead."

"Listen..."

Sunset raised an eyebrow.

"...I got nothing." The pale man shrugged with a sheepish smile, akin to a child who was caught taking extra snacks.

"A man in love often does foolish actions to impress their partner." Equestrian Stardust declared with an air of smugness, inciting the other Stardust to scoff and grumble under his breath.

"When you're hopelessly whipped, sure."

"Excuse me?" The pony version looked over to the other side of the couch with an incredulous brow. "'Whipped?' 'Whipped?' You're one to comment pal, you didn't even want to go ice skating until Twilight convinced you!"

"And I'm never going again after this..."

"Let's look on the bright side here." Jack pointed out with a bright smile, looking adoringly to the bacon-haired teen tending to his injured back. "At least we got to spend the day with the love of our lives."

"And get severely injured in the process."

"Nothing new there..."

Sunset, meanwhile, was grinning at her boyfriend's blatant attempt to charm her, and forget about his own reckless activities, and stood up, declaring in satisfaction. "Well, your back's not broken as your dramatically put it at the park. A few hours of of lying down should make it good as new."

"A couple of days and your ankle should heal over time. Just don't apply too much pressure onto it." The human Twilight informed her own Jack promptly after straightening herself, proceeding to put away the medical kit.

Princess Twilight followed suit. "Your shoulder should recover fairly sooner than later. Make sure you don't brush it against any hard surface in the meantime."

"We'll be right back. Try not to bicker too much when we're in the next room." Sunset warned in both fond humour and knowing tiredness as the three teens moved to clear away their medical items, leaving the three healing boys on the comfortable couch for the moment.

Pony Stardust watched them leave with a blissful smile. "They're too good for us." Stating once they were out of earshot. Jack chuckled and EQG Stardust snorted, both expressing their agreement.

The latter proceeded to address the shortest version of them with a frown. "So tell me." More of a demand than a request. "How the [BEEP] did Sunset teach you to be so adept at something like ice skating?"

Jack shrugged with a knowing grin. "What can I say? Sunset's flawless at everything she does. Blame Hasbro."

"It just doesn't add up!" The teenage iteration continued rather bafflingly. "The last time we went skating in that form, we had to rely on our own mother for support the whole time!"

"That was roller skating, quite a difference." The Equestrian one interjected with folded arms, leaning back in relaxation as he waited for the Princess to return. "And that was... Over ten years ago now?"

"I think." Jack frowned in recollection. "Think we were eleven... Or ten...?"

"Either way, we sucked terribly at it."

"Oh no argument there, my dear older self."

The human Stardust added ludicrously, "Which makes the fact that you, in that body, did so well out there earlier, even without the training wheels known as your girlfriend!"

Jack furrowed his brow at that. "Just because I don't have magic or a new body like you two doesn't make me completely inept at everything."

"He's got a point; we're still completely inept at some things even in these new cartoon bodies." The pony iteration pointed out, then spotting something from the outside window. "Oh hey look at that! It's snowing again!"

From the sight of their favourite season, the three versions, despite their conditions, shared one agreeing look.

"Oh yeah!" Jack widened his arms, taking in the falling snowflakes around him with a content smile and welcoming gaze. "Give it to me baby."

EQG Stardust, leaning onto his pony self for support, scoffed in laughter at his shorter self's behaviour, unable to fight off the grin from looking at the snow alone. Pony Stardust simply looked up with a warm grin, the three stooges enjoying the beautiful sight of falling snow with their own eyes; almost as breathtaking as their respective girlfriends indoors.

"I get the feeling, this is gonna be a great Hearth's Warming guys." He was compelled to say in satisfaction, his other self turning to him with a repulsed twitch of the mouth.

"'Hearth's Warming?' Dear God you've gone native." But the teen Stardust looked back up to the blissful sky with a contemplative look. "But yeah, for once I might actually start celebrate the holiday proper again, new family and all..."

"And with the most amazing women to enter our lives." Jack said merrily, glancing over to his taller selves. "How do we do it?"

"To be fair." The Equestrian Stardust answered with a wry smirk. "Both Twilight's have always had terrible taste in men."

The teen Stardust cracked a grin. "And let's just remember whom Sunset's ex is."

A pause, before the three laughed together jovially, taking in the spirit of the holiday into their hearts for the moment. After over a minute of just admiring the weather, regardless how it'd affect their own bodies injured or no, the human Stardust took one look at his cast, and sighed, muttering something loud enough for his older selves to hear between him.

"We don't deserve them."

Pony Stardust nodded without taking his eyes off the snow. "We just do the best we can."

"And hope that it'll be enough to keep those three amazing girls happy." Jack finished solemnly, the three men sharing one look of somber understanding, smiling faintly together.

And one certain voice popped in humoured fondness. "You could make a start by coming back inside when you're still recovering." They sheepishly turned to the three expectant girls, Sunset in center with folded arms and a faint smirk. "Instead of, oh I don't know, freezing in the snow without wearing any shirt on."

Jack perked a brow. "You're complaining that I'm not wearing a shirt, love?"

"When it comes to the health of my boyfriend." She replied without skipping a beat, grasping her boy's hand and pulling him back without argument. "Now come on, you're sure to catch a cold by now." The two Twilight's followed suit, the human version assisting her boyfriend back indoors with mumbles of irresponsibility.

The pony Twilight, in human form with her boyfriend, lingered beside Stardust outside the doorway for the moment, reaching up to plant a kiss on the golden man's bearded cheek. "You're doing just fine keeping us happy. Even if you drive us up to insanity at times." The Princess said in reassuring affection, prompting her Jack's smile and tugging at his hand, matching his grin. "Come on. That bandage is gonna get soggy being out here."

"Maybe next ice skating we can bring Spike along."

This time, the alicorn Princess was the one who snorted derisively. "In the company of you three? You getting hurt is bad enough." Twilight all but teased, and Stardust found himself mentally agreeing again with himself earlier. Him-himself, that is.

This was gonna be a great Christmas.

Author's Note

Merry Christmas and Happy Hearth's Warming to you all! Hope you've enjoyed!