Chapter 6: Pains of the Past

Sunset was right, it had been a good day, and a good night as well. She had already learned more stuff about this world of Equestria.

"So Starswirl the Bearded helped Celestia come up with the calendar? I thought it was just some arbitrary thing that we just made up," Sunset said.

"Well, things were chaotic beforehoof. For years before Celestia, we didn't have a way to keep track of lengths of days, so we didn't have years. Fortunately, after Celestia started moving the sun and the moon, they decided that it would be easier on everypony to have a system, and what they made is really cool, I mean, imagine what would happen if we didn't have our months even! They'd be all wonky!" Twilight Sparkle said excitedly.

"But what even made them think of moons as a unit of time?" Sunset wondered.

"Well, I think it was because there are multiple events that are 3 days long, so just having a moon would be easier. Also, the fact that there are 100 a year is also pretty cool!"

"It is. But how were the sun and moon raised and lowered before Celestia? Was it a natural occurrence, or did somepony do it before her? And, if so, how far back does it go? Since the sun and moon are required for life, why is life required to move them?" Sunset asked. She was picking up on the pony lingo, but still almost slipped a few times.

"Well, most ponies think that Celestia has raised the sun and moon forever, but clearly she hasn't, so we don't really know. That would be an interesting thing to study! The magic of the sun and the moon."

"I can't wait for the Celebration, I haven't actually been to one before," Sunset admitted.

"What?? Well, I've missed a few years due to being sick, so I can't really remember it, but I'm sure it's going to be amazing!" Twilight said.

Sunset also noted a few more things, though internally. For example, the fact that it was fall on Earth, but about to be Summer here, and that the month names were different, as well as season changes falling on the first of certain months, among other things.

Sunset looked around, and saw a stuffed doll on Twilight's bed. "Huh, what's this?" she asked, walking over.

"Oh, that's Smarty Pants. Shining Armor got him for me last year when I missed the Summer Sun Celebration," Twilight replied.

"That's sweet of him," Sunset said, wondering what life would have been like with a brother or sister.

"Yeah. There's a reason he's my BBBFF!"

"BBBFF? What's that?" Sunset asked, worrying that this was another thing that Equestria had that she didn't know about.

"Big Brother Best Friend Forever! I came up with it myself! Well, maybe I had a little help from Cadance," Twilight said.

"Cadance?"

"She's only the best foal sitter ever! Oh, and she's a princess!"

From what Sunset had picked up, being a princess was a big deal, and they were only Alicorns, a combination of all three races of ponies. "Wow, really?"

"Yup!"

The fillies continued on like this for some time, along with some bonding with Shining Armor. Shining Armor, Sunset thought, was an amazing older brother to Twilight, he even had a nickname for her: Twily. She learned of how Shining taught Twilight how to fly a kite, and that he was good at defensive magic, that's how he got his cutie mark. She wondered if she would get one, not being from Equestria. That would be if she even stayed long enough to find out.

"So, do you have any siblings, Sunny?" Shining asked, as she was lost in thought.

This quickly snapped her out of her train of thought, but unfortunately she didn't know what he asked. "I'm sorry, what? I was lost in thought," she sheepishly admitted.

"Don't worry about it, Twi does it all the time. I asked you if you had any siblings."

"No, I don't," she said, thinking back to her mother, Sunstar Glow, and her unborn sister. Her mother had died in a car crash, along with her unborn sister. It had happened when she was only five, and, though she couldn't remember most of it, she did remember glimpses. How the van went spiraling out of control on the ice, how they slammed into the frozen lake, breaking the ice, but still leaving the back half of the van sticking out of the lake, and, her father's change in demeanor afterwards. He became a broken man, tortured by the loss of his wife and unborn child, while Sunset had walked away with hardly a scratch on her. He blamed her for her mother's death, thinking that Sunstar was paying more attention to Sunset than the road, and he slowly descended into drinking, beating Sunset, at times. That was why she was running, when she came here, to get away from him. It saddened her that she lost him the day of the crash too, and she had a few good memories of him, that she cherished.

By this time, tears were streaming down Sunset's face. She could normally remain composed, but thinking of her family was too much this time. She had lost her mother, sister that she never got to know, and even her father that day, in a way. Thinking about the situation she was in now only made her think more about her mother, how she was always so happy, and when her house really was a home. But, all that was gone in an instant, and she never knew what to do. All she could do was keep running from the pain, but she never could get away. After so long of her dad blaming her, she started to blame herself as well, not knowing what else to do. And here she was, in front of another family, a complete and happy family, and all she could do was cry about the loss of her own. They had been amazing to her, and she could not reciprocate that.

Twilight did not understand what was going on, and was confused as to why Sunny was crying. Shining, however, understood he struck a nerve. "Twilight, how about you go down and see if you can help mom and dad with the preparations?" he said, knowing that having a confused Twilight would only complicate things.

Twilight agreed, and left the room, still confused, and perhaps a bit worried. She had seen ponies sad before, but not this sad. Perhaps she just needed some time alone? She went downstairs to help her parents, but never made it all the way down. She didn't know what to tell them.

Meanwhile, back in Twilight's room, Sunset was still crying on the bed. Shining walked over to her, and put his hoof on her shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, not really knowing what to do.

Sunset only shook her head slightly in response. She knew she couldn't talk about it, it would hurt even more than it did now.

"Okay. You don't want to talk about it. But, I have a feeling that I know something similar to how you feel. I know that your parents are sick, and that you're worried about them. Back before Twily was born, when mom was still pregnant with her, she fell ill. They had to take her to the hospital, and she had to be there for days. They didn't think that that mom or Twily would be able to make it out. I was so worried, and I cried for days. I might not be able to see my mom again, or my sister for the first time. I couldn't stay strong. After mom got better, and they learned that the foal inside her was safe, I was so happy. That was when dad decided to name her Twilight, after her mom, and how they had both made it through that. That was when I decided that I would remain strong, and help others do the same. That's why I started studying defensive magic, to help remain strong. That's how I got my cutie mark. I'm sure whatever you're going through, it will turn out alright. And if it doesn't, I know some pony who can help you with that too. Just know that, at least while you're here, I'm here for you, if you ever need to talk," he said, doing his best to comfort her. It was something like an older brother would do, in a way, though really he was already an older brother to Twilight, so that was probably where he got it from.

Sunset's tears stopped flowing. She was really comforted by what he said. "Thanks Shining. I... I still can't talk about it, but you helped." She knew he understood some of what she went through, but that he had no clue what really happened, and that it was far worse than he thought. She stood up. "Though, could we not mention this to your parents? I would really hate for their mood to be brought down by this."

"Of course, Sunny, though Twily may have already told them. But, if they know, I'll let them know that you are feeling better," he said.

"Thanks. I'm sorry that I brought down the mood. I wish that I didn't it's just... so hard," she replied, carefully.

"Don't apologize, you did nothing wrong, I know it can be rough. Just have faith that it will all be okay in the end," Shining said, with a care in his voice.

"Okay," Sunset said, getting up. "Though I suppose you should go check on your sister. I'll be fine. I promise."

"All right, I go check on Twi. Just make sure that you are okay too," he said, and exited the room.

Sunset smiled slightly as he left, knowing that he cared. Just the way he spoke gave her hope, in a way.

Shining Armor started walking to the stairs, when he saw Twilight in his room. He walked in to see her.

"Is Sunny okay?" she asked, slightly concerned.

"Yes, she is, she's just worried about her family, but she's doing better now. I thought you were going to go help mom and dad," he said.

"Well, I was, but I couldn't stop thinking about Sunny, and I didn't know what to tell mom and dad."

"Twi, it's okay. She's doing better, just a little episode, like what happens when you panic. I was able to help her a little. Though, I think mom and dad do need help preparing. We should go help them," he said, smiling at her.

"Can Sunny help too?" Twilight asked.

"Yes, I think it might help her some. Just, don't talk about it in front of mom and dad. Sunny is doing better, and she said that she didn't want it mentioned because it might dampen the mood, for us and for her, and we wouldn't want her crying again," Shining replied. I'll go get her, then we can finish getting ready and go.

Princess Celestia lay in bed, thinking. She had seen her apprentice leave to another world through a magic mirror, and then somehow come back out, seemingly younger. She thought that maybe she was imagining things, accidentally adding something into her spell to make it seem like Sunset returned. But, Sunset was more than just an apprentice to her. She was a daughter. Celestia was not her natural mother, but after Sunset's parents had died, Celestia took Sunset in, and adopted her.

But, she had failed Sunset, her own daughter. It didn't matter that she was adopted. She failed Sunset like she failed her sister all those years ago. She had once more been high and mighty, not noticing the pain in the heart of one she loved. She felt as if she had neglected Sunset, as she had Luna. Luna turned into Nightmare Moon because she felt she was not loved. Celestia swore that she would never let something like that happen again. But, it did, to her own daughter. Darkness had filled Sunset's heart, as it had Luna before her. And, as she had been forced to banish her sister to the moon, she had also been forced to banish her daughter from the castle, believing that with a new perspective, would come new maturity and love. If Sunset had asked for Celestia if she could come back, Celestia would have accepted. But, instead Sunset decided to leave her, and go to another world. She was now as far from her as Luna was, and she had no power to bring her back.

Yes, the mirror opened every thirty moons, so about three times a year, but she knew that she could not force Sunset to come back with her. She knew that the only way Sunset should come back would be of her own free will. Celestia hoped that Sunset would one day use it to return, seeking guidance from her adoptive mother, but Celestia was also scared. What if Sunset couldn't make it in this other realm? What if she never gained any friends there either? Celestia knew that when Sunset's parents died, it was hard on Sunset. That was part of why Celestia had taken her in. So Sunset would feel loved. But, she failed, as she had before, and it hurt.

Celestia knew, however, that she must put away her fears and doubts, for the Summer Sun Celebration at least. She must put on a face in public, and show her people happiness, even if she had none herself. Celestia had never told her subjects about adopting Sunset, she had decided to keep it a secret. And now, she had to keep Sunset's disappearance a secret too.

Celestia got up, to prepare herself for the Celebration, and to clear her mind, such as to banish all ill thoughts, and bring light to her subjects.

Author's Note

Double the length of my previous chapter! I feel as if I am getting more into the flow of things.

I hope everyone enjoyed this! I know it's late, thought it still is published the week after my last chapter was. I am having so much fun writing this! I still have no editor but myself, so any errors I make, feel free to point out, so I can fix them. Also, notes about the dating system in Equestria with Moons, I explained that in my most recent blog post. Also, note on last chapter, I initially had it three years until Luna's Return. I changed it to 5, to give Twilight a bit more time to grow up.

Disclaimer: Do not blame me for any sadness in this story, I go where it takes me. Any sadness should be blamed on the story, not me.