Twilight Tries Her Hoof at Writing

by the7Saviors

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 4560

Twilight loves books and feels it's high-time she tried writing one. A problem arises when she realizes she has no idea what to write about. Thankfully Spike and Starlight are there to throw in their two bits.

Twilight loves books and feels it's high-time she tried writing one. A problem arises when she realizes she has no idea what to write about. Thankfully Spike and Starlight are there to throw in their two bits.

Naturally, Twilight is grateful for the help... but then they actually start pitching ideas.

Things proceed to go downhill from there.

Published 2017-12-16 00:40:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-16 23:05:25 UTC

Once upon a time in the magical land of Equestria...

It was a relatively peaceful afternoon in Ponyville.

Celestia's sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and ponies milled about in the marketplace buying and selling their wares. Five mares in particular were busy with their own affairs. Down at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack was hard at work preparing for the next Applebuck Season. Rarity had made an impromptu trip down to her boutique in Manehattan to make sure everything was on the up-and-up. Rainbow Dash had flown off to Las Pegasus along with the other Wonderbolts for a reason she refused to explain to the other girls (all they were able to get out of her was that it was, "Gonna change everything!"). Pinkie and Maud had gone back to their family's rock farm for a Pie family reunion and Fluttershy had gone with Tree Hugger to some seminar about trees.

Over at Twilight's Castle, Starlight Glimmer was helping Spike put the finishing touches on the last of three hay bacon, lettuce, and tomato subs.

"Remind me again," asked a bemused Starlight, "why are you going to use dragonfire to toast the subs?"

Spike let out an exasperated sigh and turned away from the tray of subs to fully face Starlight, "Like I said before, dragonfire produces way more heat than regular fire." He turned back to the subs, checking to make sure the ingredients were perfectly placed. "All you need is a quick burst of dragonfire and BAM" - Spike slapped his claws together - "perfect sub."

Starlight raised an eyebrow at the dragon, skepticism written all over her face. "Can you even control how much heat you put out?"

Spike waved a claw dismissively, eyes still glued to the subs like a chess player plotting their next move. "Twilight taught me how to control my fire breath ages ago," he straightened up and gave a nod of approval before turning back to Starlight with a cocky smirk, "I got this."

Starlight couldn't help but chuckle at Spike's confidence. "Alright, Spike. If you're sure you can do it-" she waved a hoof dramatically towards the tray "-fire away!"

Spike gave a mock salute and turned towards the tray of subs, "Alright, here we go." He cracked his neck a few times, took a deep breath and-

"SPIIIIKE!"

Starlight and Spike both jumped, startled by the sudden outburst. Unfortunately Spike had chosen that moment release a very uncontrolled burst of dragonfire. The painstakingly crafted and carefully prepared subs didn't stand a chance. In the wake of the super-heated fire the subs were reduced to ash. Starlight winced and placed a sympathetic hoof on Spike's shoulder.

"SPIIIIKE!" whined the voice again from somewhere in the castle, "I NEED YOUR HELP!"

The voice went ignored for another minute as Spike stared forlornly at what was supposed to be the perfect lunch.

"It's not fair," Spike sniffed, a tear rolling down his cheek, "It was gonna be perfect."

"Come on, cheer up, Spike," Starlight tried to reassure the despondent dragon, "we can always make more." She picked up the blackened tray in her magic and dumped the failed lunch into a nearby trash bin. "I'll clean up in here," Starlight offered as she moved towards the kitchen sink, "You better go see what Twilight wants."

"But-" Spike began to protest before Starlight cut him off.

"Spike," she said, giving him a pointed look, "she doesn't sound too happy right now and you know how... intense she can get when there's a problem she can't deal with on her own."

Spike wiped his eyes and gave a heavy sigh of resignation, "Yeah, okay." With that, he turned and walked out of the kitchen, heading towards Twilight's study. "This better be good," he grumbled to himself, "haven't eaten all day and those HBLT's were gonna be god tier."

"Nope."

A magenta colored aura released a crumpled-up piece of parchment into the wastebasket. For a time, there was silence, save for the frantic scratching of a quill. And then...

"Ugh... no!"

Two more pieces of parchment made their way to the wastebasket.

More silence.

More frantic scribbling.

SNAP.

"AAAAARGH!"

Another roll of parchment and a broken quill slammed into a now overly full wastebasket which, itself, flew across the study and slammed into the door just as a certain disgruntled baby dragon made to open it.

"Whoa!" cried Spike, quickly moving behind the door just as the basket smashed into it. "Geez, Twi, chill out!"

Twilight quickly turned towards the door at the sound of Spike's voice. "Oh my gosh, Spike," she cried, concern momentarily replacing her previous aggravation, "are you okay?"

Spike pushed the door open the rest of the way and walked into the study. "I'm fine, Twi," he replied, eyeing Twilight warily, "I'm more worried about what's going on with you." As he walked over to Twilight his foot bumped the overturned basket. He blinked and looked down at all the parchment that had spilled out. He picked up one of the non-crumpled rolls of parchment, looked at it briefly, and then looked back at Twilight with a raised eye ridge, waiting for an explanation.

Twilight buried her face in her hooves and groaned. "I'm sorry, Spike," she looked back up at Spike and grinned apologetically, "I was trying to do something new and I guess it kinda got out of hoof..."

"Yeah," Spike gave a quick glance at the desk Twilight was sitting at, noticing it was almost completely covered in discarded parchment, "I can see that." He turned back to Twilight with a questioning look, "Soooo... what, you're trying to write Celestia the longest letter in existence?"

"Well, no I'm trying t-"

"Oh, did you come up with another one of your insane theories?"

"What? No I... wait what do you mean insa-"

"Wait, no way," Spike gasped in horror, "did that creepo journalist from Fillydelphia finally convince you to help him write that article about Fluttershy's-"

"SPIKE!" Twilight shouted, cheeks flaming, "I'm trying to write up some ideas for a story!" she shook her head and glared at Spike, "and we all agreed to never bring that up again!"

"Ooooh," said Spike, giving a slow nod of understanding. He then grinned at Twilight sheepishly, "right, sorry, Twi." He walked back over to the wastebasket, set it upright and started filling it back up, "So what exactly did you need me for again?" he turned from his work to give Twilight a glare, "I'll have you know, I was in the middle of making what may very well have been the best lunch in the history of lunches-" he snorted and crossed his arms "-and because of your little emergency I ended up burning it all to a crisp."

Now it was Twilight's turn to look sheepish, "I'm sorry, Spike, like I said things just kind of got out of hoof and I overreacted... again," she then proceeded to prostrate herself before Spike, forehooves held together and her eyes big and watery, "forgive me?"

Spike glared at Twilight for another moment, but then sighed and shook his head with a small chuckle. "Aright, alright already, quit with the look. Seriously, that's something I should be doing to you, not the other way around."

Twilight got up and gave Spike a quick hug. "Thanks, Spike." She went back to the desk and floated another roll of parchment and another quill from her desk. "Now, Spike," she began, "the reason I need your help is because, as you can see" - she waved a hoof at all the discarded parchment and broken quills scattered about - "I'm not having very much luck coming up with ideas for a story." She then flashed Spike a winning smile, "I figured I could have somepony help me toss some ideas around, and who better than my number one assistant?"

Spike crossed his arms gave Twilight a flat look, "Really, Twilight?" he deadpanned, "you're talking to somepony who would sooner bury his face in a comic book for foals than read any real literature."

"Comic books are technically literature," Twilight replied weakly, winning smile wavering as she began to sweat.

Spike just raised an eye ridge and said nothing.

Twilight groaned in exasperation, "Okay fine," she relented "I wanted to ask the girls but most of them left Ponyville on one errand or another."

"What about Starlight?"

Twilight opened her mouth to respond and froze, Why hadn't she asked Starlight for help? She closed her mouth and put a hoof to her chin thoughtfully, "You know, Spike," she said slowly, "that's a good question." She looked back to Spike with a thoughtful frown, "I guess between the two of you, I'm just more used to calling on you for help."

Spike puffed out his chest a little with pride at that. "Well when you put it that way, it's only natural to pick your number one assistant as the go-to guy... but," Spike's look shifted to one of bemusement, "why would you even need our help anyway? In fact, why are you having trouble at all?"

Twilight tilted her head in confusion, "What do you mean, Spike?"

Spike slapped a claw to his face, "I mean, you're you!"

Twilight just stared at him with that same uncomprehending look.

"Ugh!" spike threw his claws up in irritation, "I mean you're Twilight 'Book Fort' Sparkle! Champion of Books! Lady of the Librarium! Paragon of the Written Word! How do you" - he pointed a finger at Twilight for emphasis - "not have any idea of what to write about?"

"..."

"..."

Twilight slowly raised an eyebrow at Spike who turned away and coughed awkwardly after a moment. "So... uh... yeah. Just curious."

"Okay, Spike," Twilight laid down on the floor, resting one hoof on the other and looked at Spike with no small amount of amusement, "I'll give you 'Champion of Books'," she shook her head, "but Lady of the Librarium? Paragon of the Written Word?" She let out a bark of laughter, "how long have you been waiting to bust that one out?"

"Longer than I'd like to admit," mumbled the now red-faced dragon.

Still chuckling, Twilight gave Spike another quick hug, "Never change, Spike... never change."

It was at this moment that Starlight Glimmer decided to walk into the study; tray of freshly made HBLT's floating in her magic.

"Hey, Spike, Twilight. I decided to make some more su - whoa." Starlight stopped and looked around the messy study with wide eyes. Her gaze eventually landed on Twilight embracing an embarrassed Spike, "Um..." Starlight blinked, "what... did I miss?"

Author's Note

Okay, so this is my first foray into writing in general and I wanted to start with something simple to get the 'creative juices flowing'. I have something in the works for a much, much bigger, darker, and far more epic story. Unfortunately that story won't be posted for some time as it's still in the developmental stages. In the meantime here's a short little two-part story to hopefully entertain and tide you over.:twilightsmile:

Oh, and the final chapter should be out either later today or tomorrow.

...a certain purple princess made a questionable decision.

"Oh hey, Starlight," said Twilight, releasing Spike, "I was just having Spike help me with some ideas for a story I want to write."

Spike eyed the new subs in Starlight's magic critically, "Yeah," he said absently, "apparently she decided to take up writing at some point."

"Oh," Starlight replied in surprise, "that's... interesting." She set the tray on a nearby table as she walked over to the other two, "by the look of things I take it you aren't making very much progress?"

Twilight released a tired sigh, "Unfortunately not," she snorted in frustration, "and I've been trying for hours now."

"Really?" Starlight asked incredulously, "I figured something like this would be easy for you."

"That's what I'm saying!" Spike added, digging into a sub over by the table.

Twilight shook her head, "You'd think so, but there's actually a lot for me to consider," she began pacing back and forth, "things like what genre I want the story to be or whether or not to make it fiction or non-fiction."

Spike stopped eating and tried to interrupt Twilight before she had the full breakdown he knew was coming, "Uh... Twilight?"

Twilight's pace quickened, mane fraying slightly, "Then there's the matter of characters, world building, story length, editing and proofreading-"

"Hey, Twilight-" Starlight tried.

"-no guarantee it'll be popular, but if I can find a good publisher-"

"TWILIGHT!" Spike and Starlight yelled.

Twilight stopped her frantic pacing and panicked mumbling abruptly. She stood there for a moment in silence, then slowly looked over at the concerned faces of Spike and Starlight. She blinked owlishly, "...huh?" she replied intelligently.

"Twilight, we get it," Spike said in a soft, placating tone, "writing is a lot harder than it sounds, even for you."

Starlight nodded in agreement, a small smile on her face, "And we'd be happy to help you come up with some ideas at least."

Twilight rapidly shook her head to clear the remaining anxiety and gave them a grateful smile, "Thanks you two, it means a lot."

"Anytime, Twi," Spike said, waving a claw dismissively, "we got your back."

Twilight nodded, "Now then-" she picked up the parchment and quill that she dropped at some point during their conversation "-don't hold back, I'm willing to field any and all ideas here at this point."

Spike and Starlight sat in contemplative silence for a moment before Spike snapped his claws, "I got it!" he exclaimed and looked over to Twilight enthusiastically, "How about a story where a brave knight rescues the beauti-"

"Spike, I'm just gonna stop you right there," Twilight interrupted, giving Spike a flat look.

"What? Why?" Spike asked in confusion.

"Is the knight a dragon?"

"Well, yeah but-"

"Is the princess a pony?"

"...Yes?"

"Uh-huh," Twilight responded, eyes closed and pinching her muzzle with a hoof, "and just out of curiosity, what were you going to name these characters?"

"...Sir Pike and Lady Charity." Spike mumbled looking away in embarrassment.

Behind Spike, Starlight visibly cringed. "Oh wow that's bad," she hissed.

"Alright, Starlight," Spike snapped, rounding on the pink unicorn, "what's your bright idea?"

"My idea, huh?" Starlight replied thoughtfully, completely ignoring the irritation in Spike's tone. She hummed to herself for a moment, "Well, why not write a memoir?" she suggested, turning to Twilight.

"A memoir?" Twilight asked, blinking in surprise, "why a memoir?"

"Well, think about it-" Starlight raised her hoof as if to give a lecture "-You and the rest of the Mane Six-"

Mane Six?, Twilight mouthed to herself.

"-have accomplished a lot in the past couple of years," Starlight continued, "taking down Discord, fighting off the changelings at your brother's wedding, stopping Sombra from taking over the Crystal Empire, you becoming an alicorn, and you even had an epic showdown with Tirek."

"That was a really epic battle," Spike added.

"Not to mention that whole incident in Our Town and the massive screw up with the time stream," Starlight mumbled under her breath.

"I know the girls and I have done a lot in the past," Twilight responded, "but that was only in the last couple of years and I'm only in my twenties. I feel like I'd need at least a couple of more decades of life experience before I start writing memoirs. Heck-" Twilight spread her wings for emphasis "-I'm an immortal alicorn now, I can write memoirs once I have a couple of more centuries of life experience," she was quiet for a moment, "...and do ponies really refer to us as the Mane Six?"

"When somepony has done as much as you have, Twilight," Starlight responded, ignoring Twilight's question, "there's no reason you shouldn't write a memoir. I mean-" Starlight lit up her horn and pulled a book from one of the bookshelves "-I've already written one of my own memoirs." She floated the book over to a bemused Twilight who took it in her own magic and flipped through it briefly.

"When did you find time to write a memoir?" she blinked and shot a confused look to Starlight, "and why was this already in my study?" she switched her questioning gaze over to Spike.

"Hey, don't look at me!" he said quickly, waving his arms defensively, "I didn't know that was there either!"

She looked back to Starlight who just gave her an enigmatic smile.

"Ugh!" Twilight cried in exasperation, "what, are you Pinkie Pie now?"

"Twilight..." Spike warned, wary of another freakout.

"I know, I know," Twilight took a couple of calming breaths, "we're getting off topic and I haven't even written anything down yet - and no I'm not writing a memoir, Starlight."

Starlight shrugged, "Suit yourself. Just remember you did say you were 'fielding any and all ideas'."

"Yes I did," Twilight conceded, "that doesn't mean I have to use them though."

Starlight just shrugged again in response.

There was another round of silence while the three of them pondered more ideas.

"Well..." Spike started tentatively.

"Yes, Spike? Go on," encouraged Twilight.

"If you were gonna write fiction, what were you leaning towards genre-wise?"

Twilight tapped a hoof on the floor, head lowered and humming to herself in contemplation, "Maybe... a mystery?" she looked back up at Spike with a small smile, "I've always really enjoyed the Fetlock Holmes series."

"Yeah," Spike agreed, "and there's all kinds of different mysteries-" he started counting off his claws "-like the caper, the whodunit, and my personal favorite - the hard-boiled detective story! I can see it now," his eyes grew distant, "a young violet-haired maiden, distraught by her father's untimely demise at the hooves of a bitter business rival, seeks justice. She soon finds the only one she can turn to is the handsome, aloof, and mysterious dragon P.I.-" he struck a heroic pose "-detective Spike!"

Twilight and Starlight groaned.

"You didn't even try to come up with a name this time," Starlight said with a facehoof.

"And I thought you weren't into 'real literature'?" Twilight added with a raised eyebrow.

"They have comics with detective heroes," Spike retorted petulantly.

"Well, Spike's ridiculous fantasies about Rarity aside-"

"Hey! that's not what I-"

"-I've always preferred locked-room mysteries myself," Starlight continued, talking right over Spike.

"Yeah, you would." Spike muttered.

Starlight shot Spike a glare, but said nothing in response.

"Hey!" Twilight called, stomping a hoof to get their attention, "None of that. We're here to brainstorm ideas, not insult each other."

Spike and Starlight mumbled an apology.

"Good," Twilight nodded in satisfaction, "now then," she continued, "I - at the very least - have a direction I can take with future ideas," she scribbled something down on the parchment held in her magic, "any other ideas?"

There was another silence, but this one didn't last long before Starlight spoke up.

"Y'know, Twilight," she said absently, gazing out a window, "I just remembered something I heard once a while ago..."

"What's that, Starlight?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Inspiration can be found in the unlikeliest of places," she responded, never breaking her gaze away from the window.

"Huh," Twilight said thoughtfully, "you know, you're right, Starlight," she looked over to Starlight, "did you have an idea in mind?"

"I did actually," Starlight said, eyes still fixed to the window, "a gripping tale of heroism where a warrior princess battles a giant evil demon born of the stars to protect her kingdom and subjects."

Twilight and Spike both stared at Starlight in surprise.

"That... sounds... awesome!" Spike cried ecstatically.

"I have to admit, it does sound like it would be an engaging read," agreed Twilight. She gave Starlight an intrigued look, "What gave you the idea?"

GRAAAAAOOOH!!!

The deafening roar shook the entire castle, causing Twilight and Spike to cover their ears.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA'S BURNING YELLOW SUN WAS THAT!?" cried Spike.

Starlight finally turned to face Spike and Twilight, voice calm but eyes full of panic.

"My inspiration."

Twilight ran to the window and looked outside, Spike following right behind. Off in the distance, they could see the lavender, star-speckled silhouette of an Ursa Major rampaging through the Everfree Forest.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Nope. I'm done," Spike turned to walk out of the room.

"Spike-"

"Nuh-uh. I'm out, Twi," he interrupted, still heading to the door, "I know I said I would have your back, but what the hay am I gonna do against an Ursa Major?"

Twilight didn't have a response for that.

"Uh-huh, exactly," he reached the door before turning to Twilight and giving a thumbs-up, "good luck with that and your book, Twi. I'll be with you in spirit!" He walked out of the room, slamming the door shut.

Twilight just gaped at the door.

"Didn't even bother to leave us the rest of the subs..." Starlight muttered.

Twilight rounded on Starlight, "Forget the subs!" she hissed through her teeth, "we need to stop that Ursa Major from destroying Ponyville!"

"Whoa, hang on," Starlight said, waving her forehooves in front of her face, "you're the almighty, immortal alicorn goddess of magic. I'm just a student."

"Wha - but, you-" Twilight sputtered, "You're almost as powerful as I was when I was a unicorn!"

"Well sure," Starlight agreed, "but would you have been able to break through an Ursa Major's magical resistance as a unicorn?"

Twilight open and closed her mouth repeatedly before letting out a sigh of defeat, "Probably not."

"Well, there you go," Starlight said as she headed towards the door. "if it helps, I'll keep thinking of story ideas while you're gone."

Twilight just waved a dismissive hoof, not bothering to look in Starlight's direction.

With that, Starlight exited the study and closed the door behind her, leaving Twilight alone.

Twilight stared out the window for a brief moment, watching the Ursa tear up tree after tree in it's rage.

She let out a snort of frustration, "You know what? Buck it," she said to nopony in particular.

Twilight threw open the window, spread her wings, and took off towards the Everfree Forest.

The Ursa was just about to make it out of the forest and into Ponyville when Twilight landed in front of it.

"HEY!" shouted Twilight in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

The Ursa Major looked around in confusion before it's huge eyes settled on the purple pony below it.

"Yeah, I'm talking to you!" Twilight yelled, throwing every ounce of the day's aggravations into her voice, "look, I haven't had a very good day, so if you would go back home and leave Ponyville alone I would very much appreciate it!"

The Ursa just growled threateningly in response.

Twilight, finally getting fed up with how the day had gone responded in kind.

"Look buddy, you don't want to test me right now. I'm tired, irritated, and not above looking for violent ways to relieve some stress!"

The Ursa roared it's challenge in Twilight's face.

Twilight roared right back.

"ALRIGHT FINE! YOU WANNA GO?" she teleported to the Ursa's eye level, her own eyes burning white with excess magic.

The Ursa reared back in surprise.

"I AM THE CHAMPION OF BOOKS! THE LADY OF THE LIBRARIUM! A PARAGON OF THE WRITTEN WORD!" her horn blazed and crackled with arcane, magenta colored energy, "I AM THE PRINCESS OF BUCKING MAGIC AND BY MY WORD YOU WILL LEAVE OR I WILL MAKE YOU!"

The Ursa roared again and charged the enraged alicorn.

It raised a massive paw to swipe at Twilight.

Twilight fired a massive beam of pure magic.

Later that evening, Spike was laying in his basket in Twilight's bedroom reading a comic when Starlight walked in.

"Oh," Starlight said spotting Spike, "there you are."

"Sup'," Spike said, not looking up from his comic.

Starlight looked at Spike disapprovingly, "Aren't you worried about Twilight?"

"Not really," he replied absently, flipping a page, "It's gonna take more than an Ursa Major to bring Twilight down. She's got this."

Starlight looked at him skeptically for a moment before shrugging, "If you believe in her that strongly, that's good enough for me," She walked over and sat down next to Spike, "I told Twilight I would help her come up with some more ideas for her story. I've got a few in mind and I came to see if you wanted to help."

"Nah, don't bother," Spike replied shaking his head.

"What?" Starlight asked in confusion, "why not?"

Spike sighed and put down his comic, turning to face Starlight with a small smirk, "Knowing how frustrated Twilight's been since this morning, she's probably reached the end of her rope," he chuckled, "the random Ursa attack most likely pushed her over the edge."

Starlight looked unsure, "I don't know, Spike. Twilight is a very diligent pony," she looked towards the bedroom window with a nervous expression, "I don't think she'd leave this be just because she was stressed - especially because she was stressed."

Spike scoffed at Starlight's worried expression, "Trust me, Starlight," he said in a reassuring tone, "I bet you any moment now, Twilight is going t-"

The bedroom door slammed open and in walked a bruised and exhausted alicorn.

"Ursa's gone," Twilight mumbled wearily, "chased it back into the Everfree."

She limped over to her bed and flopped onto the sheets, not even bothering to pull the blanket over herself.

Spike flashed Starlight a smug smirk. Starlight ignored him and ran over to Twilight.

"Twilight!" she cried in concern, "are you alright?"

"Mrflgmble," she responded not moving from her prone state.

Starlight blinked and looked over to Spike who just snickered and shook his head.

"She'll be fine," Spike assured, "the magical exhaustion is probably hitting her the hardest and that'll go away with some rest."

"Okay..." Starlight said, still unsure.

"Go on, Star," Spike said walking over to Twilight, "I'll take care of things from here."

Starlight opened her mouth to protest, but then closed it, deciding to trust Twilight to Spike's care, "Alright, Spike," she said softly, "let me know if you or Twilight need anything."

Spike gave a nod and she walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Spike began covering Twilight with a blanket when she turned to him with a tired gaze and found the strength to speak.

"Hey, Spike?" she mumbled quietly.

"Hmm?"

"Tell Starlight that I'm just gonna stick to reading books."

Spike gave a small chuckle, "Sure thing, Twi."

With that said, Twilight was out like a light and Spike pulled the blanket the rest of the way over her.

"Night, Twilight," Spike said quietly, laying back in his basket and picking up his comic.

Author's Note

Ugh, that took way longer than I wanted it to.:ajbemused:

It was worth it though. I had a LOT of fun writing this chapter. Don't really have much to say that wasn't already said in my last A/N other than WHOOO!!! FINISHED MY FIRST STORY ON FIMFICTION!!!:pinkiehappy:

Seriously though, thanks to everyone who favored my story and followed me. I'm gonna try to make more stories while I'm working on my bigger project. But it might be awhile so just bear with me guys.