Chapters Author's Note
Warning I was listening to the Cardcaptor Sakura ending Groovy the entire time I was writing this. I take no responsibility for my actions. The music made me do this.
Help! It's still stuck in my head! Get it out!
Prologue
The old crystal clock in the southern tower began to chime its sweet noontide melody. Across the capital the crisp tolls of the bells could be heard. It was one of the few things left behind by the Crystal Empire. The methods for crafting such wonderful instruments out of sparkling gemstones had been lost for centuries. Because of this the bells were impossible to replace or repair. Therefore Celestia had made a decree that the bells were only to be used during the summer season to reduce the wear on the ancient instruments.
Sitting on her throne Celestia felt her stress melting away as she basked in both the sunlight and the rhythm of the first song of the year. For centuries she had enjoyed the seasonal treat and how every generation of bell ringer played an unique and refreshing tune. Normally she would wait and listen to the full melody, but today was different. Dismissing the court she rushed off to her royal chambers.
Sometime around mid spring she had gotten into the habit of sneaking out from the castle to explore her domain. She really enjoyed seeing her citizens and being apart of their lives not as a princess, but as just a fellow pony. In order not to be noticed as the towering princess of the day she had been perfecting a spell to disguise herself.
Passing the last pair of royal guards the princess entered her room. No sooner did the doors shut behind her did she begin chanting the spell. Even for a princess it was a beast of a spell that took two whole minutes to finish on a good day.
Slowly wisps of pink smoke enveloped her. It was a good day. The smoke turned a deep purple before melting away into the floor. Revealing a smaller cream colored pegasus.
Stretching her wings and back Celestia winced as she felt her joints snapped into place with a loud pop. After a year of practice she had finally perfected her disguise spell. Originally she had been using an illusion, but to many fillies, foals, and drunkards saw through her disguise ruining her fun. This new spell of hers was no illusion, but rather a physical change. Sure it was painful, actually extremely painful to feel her body crack into pieces before shrinking into a smaller form, but she couldn't argue with the end result being fool proof.
Celestia quickly ran her hoof over her forehead to make sure her horn was gone. Every so often the spell had failed to make her a pegasus and had to be performed again. Besides it never hurt to be careful. Feeling nothing, not even a bump the mare let out a sigh of relief.
"Phew. Won't have to cast the spell more than once today."
With the body check complete the mare quickly trotted over to her massive bed frame. Throwing a quick glance around the room for watching eyes, she dove under her bed. For underneath was a small secret chamber. The princess's momentum carried her straight into an over sized pillow.
Standing back up the princess gazed at her collection of treasures. The room was understandably small, it was under her bed after all, but it contained all that she needed. The giant pillow, which she won at a fair, took up an entire wall with its overwhelming velvety plushness. To her left stood a solitary lamp that illuminated the room with a soft gentle light. Behind the lamp hung three rows of coats. Celestia could hardly wait for winter so that an opportunity to wear one would arise. A beautiful carved chestnut wardrobe stood across from her with a cute gold trimmed oak chest sitting beside it. On her right stood a full body mirror and a make up station.
Originally she had been sneaking out to enjoy the delicacies of the kingdom while socializing during her lunch break. This goal had quickly changed when she fully realized that her current spell gave her a new body. With this new form she could now indulge in her deepest desires her maiden heart could have. All the cute clothes in the kingdom were finally the right size for her. Before this all her clothes had to be tailor made. Not only was this expensive, but all the clothes they made were stuffy and for special occasions only. Now everything was fair game and she loved it.
"Maybe I went a little overboard gathering these." reflected Celestia as she gave her collection a second look.
What had just started off as a single outfit here, an odd hat there, a couple of dresses on sale, and a pair of shoes had turned into an impressive collection. She was running out of room to put the new acquisitions.
Though the room had originally started off as a place to store and indulge herself, today was different. Today it was her armory that prepared her for the maiden's battle.
Swinging the doors of the wardrobe open the princess began to muse over what to wear.
"Beret? Nah to fancy. Should I go casual with a cap? No, no its too casual. Absolutely adorable cute bunny wool hat? If only it was the season. lovely sunhat with pink ribbon. It will do for today." declared the princess as she arranged it carefully on her head. Making sure that it didn't hide her eyes or wavy pink main from sight.
Nothing worse than dressing all up only to have your face hidden . thought the princess as she returned her attention to the dresses that were hanging up.
Unlike the hats the rest of her wardrobe was easy to decide on. Snapping on a silk sundress from her collection the princess walked over to the mirror to check her outfit.
Smoothing out the milk white cloth over and around her curves the princess began talking to her reflection. "Hmm, It's a little on the simple side isn't it?"
"Nonsense! White is the color of purity. Besides it looks stellar on you." replied the princess in the mirror.
"Wonder if I have time to do something with my tail?" pondered the mare glancing at the clock in the corner that read a quarter after.
"No time today sister." said the mare in the mirror. "Let it be a surprise for next time, but make sure to apply at least a light layer of beauty art before leaving."
"Thanks a bunch, you're the best."
"No problem, but you better get going." replied the reflection.
Finishing up her make up Celestia climbed back out of her secret chamber. "Well I'm off."
"Good luck and see you tomorrow..." came the mirror mares voice. "Heavens above I'm lonely."
With a spring in her step Celestia left her hidden chamber. As she walked towards the balcony she gave herself a twirl. Relishing how the dress waved in the wind and gracefully fell back upon her. As Princess Celestia she would never get to experience this. After a few more twists and turns to play with her dress she grabbed a small brown travel case that she had packed a lunch in the night before.
Her heart fluttered like leaves in the wind as she stood on the balcony railing. Taking one last glance to make sure no pony was looking, the Princess took off into the sky above. No matter how many times she did this the freedom always excited her, but today the feeling was crisp and clear as a winters night to her. For this time she had something new to do. Today was her first blind date with...
The princess ducked into a cool cloud to try and reduce the growing heat in her cheeks. Even though she had met the stallion many times before she felt embarrassed and very nervous. For now she wasn't a princess. She was Summer Crisp, the caretaker of the Royal Crystal Bells on her way to a picnic lunch with Big Mac.
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Wiping the sweat from his brow Big Mac glanced up at the crystal clear sky above. A pair of swallowtails danced in the light summer breeze. Slowly he began to feel the hairs on the back of his neck start to rise. He was being watched. The piercing gazes coming from behind him was unnerving, even though he knew their source. One pair belonged to Granny Smith who was skipping her weekly cooking class. The next pair of eyes came from Applejack, who had insisted that the cellar be checked for the tenth time this week. Finally there was Apple Bloom who had stayed home 'sick' in order to watch.
'Those girls need a hobby.' thought the stallion, as the glare from three sets of binoculars danced on the tree in front of him.
Turning his attention back to the sky he couldn't help, but wonder how they had found out about his date with Summer Crisp. The Cakes were to busy with the shop and the twins to venture out this far for idle gossip, Pinkie Pie had taken the day off to visit her family on the rock farm, and the crazy pegasus mare hadn't shown up yet. So who told his family?
"Rarity!" grumbled Big Mac under his breath. That romance obsessed mare. Of all the mares in town, barring his sisters, there couldn't have been a worse witness. By now the entire kingdom knew what had happened at the Sugarcube Cornor.
The stallion's contemplation was interrupted by a sudden cacophony of noise from the tree tops. Before he could blink a brown case bashed him in the skull. This was quickly followed by the shrieking form of his date.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!" screamed the princess as she crashed into her date.
Celestia winced in pain and blushed in embarrassment as Big Mac did his best to treat her injuries. The disinfectant stung horribly against all her cuts and scrapes, but it was nice being treated like a normal mare for once. No thirty doctors for a simple paper cut. Putting her thoughts of past experiences aside she decided to go test the waters.
"So Big Mac, ever have a mare fall for you like that?"
Glancing up from his work the stallion chuckled. "Mare? Yes. An Angel? No, but there's a first time for everything."
The princess felt her heart flutter. 'So he does know how to play... wait other mares?!'
"Done." said Big Mac as he put away the medical kit.
Lifting her injured leg gingerly the princess gave it an experimental bend. The numerous cuts and scrapes still burned slightly. "Good as new." smiled Celestia putting her leg down softly. "May I ask why you have a medical kit ready to go? Does it have to do with the other falling ladies?"
"Yes you may ask." started Big Mac, "Secondly, kind of. My youngest sister and her friends end up needing it a lot. So I just started carrying one."
'Awe you're so sweet.' thought Celestia as she opened her traveling case. The previous smile quickly disappeared as she grimaced at the jumbled mess that had been the lunch. Potato salad was in the key lime pie, the soup and cesar salad had made an ocean with miniature fruit smoothie islands floating in it. Only the shepherd's pie was safe. Slowly she scavenged the surviving dish and placed it on the ground.
"Sorry, but this is the sole survivor of my trip." whimpered the princess rubbing her foreleg sheepishly.
"Don't let it get you down, I came prepared." replied Big Mac who was holding a large wicker basket.
Celestia gave her date a small curtsy. "Then I'll humbly partake." Immediately she wanted to die on the spot from embarrassment. Mares hadn't used that line in several hundred years, for when being covered by their date. It was so old that it was something her sister Luna still did when the chef brought food out.
'Humble?' thought the stallion who was to busy laying out the checkered blanket to notice his dates red face. 'Didn't think the bold girl knew the word. Considering what she did...' the stallion stopped his thoughts there. Just recalling what the mare had done sent his blood racing. If he didn't already have a red complexion he would've now. Shaking his head vigorously he tried to chase the unwanted memories away.
"Hey, are you okay there big boy?" asked the princess who was giving her date a puzzled look.
"Eeyup. Just fighting back a sneeze." answered Big Mac placing the last dish on the blanket.
Celestia feared that her sweet tooth would drop out of her mouth like a vampire's fang. Every last dish, but her's, was full of sugary goodness. Roasted sweet potatoes, baked apples, honey milk tea, and a deep dish apple crumble slathered in fresh cream. The scent of which assaulted her nose to no end.
'Looks like he knows sweets are a girls best friend.' mused the princess, who laughed as she accepted a plate of food from her date. "You really are a farmer aren't you? These portions are enormous."
Big Mac took a look at the mountain of food on his plate. "Hmm, they are a tad big. Is that a prob..." his words were cut short as the princess shoved an empty plate towards him.
Grinning ear to ear the pegasus fluffed her wings happily. "Seconds please."
Filling the plate high with another round of food the stallion couldn't help but wonder who or what this mare was. She called herself a flower and had an appearance to match, but was aggressive as a tiger and could eat like one too.
To the rest of the spying family the picnic looked less like a date and more like an eating contest. Before this Applejack would've sworn that Pinkie Pie was the only girl that could shovel food that fast. Meanwhile Apple Bloom was busy trying to stop Granny smith from charging out and smacking her grandson across the head. Not for his manners, but for using the supplies meant for her skipped cooking class. Shouts and desperate pleas for help rang out from both sides for Applejack. Putting down her binoculars the eldest sister made her way down stairs. Giving her brother and unknowingly private moment for the rest of his date.
In the span of only a few minutes the feast was gone. Leaving only a basket of dirty dishes behind. "Whew, I'm stuffed!" declared the princess as she laid down in the rich green grass. "Can't eat like that in the capital."
Tossing the folded blanket aside the earth pony joined his date on the grass, only with some distance between them. "You sound like my sister. Is the food up there that bad?"
The princess felt like puking as she rolled over on her full stomach towards the shade and her date. 'The things a girl has to do to get a guys attention.'
"Wouldn't say bad... I think puny is a better word. Just scrape our left over crumbs onto a single dish and they would call it two full course meals." leaning up against the stallion she continued. "Expensive is another word that comes to mind. Bottom line don't try to eat in the capital on a budget."
Big Mac felt himself chuckle as Summer Crisps words brought back memories of his sister's rant about the gala and the capital. "So is that why you were at the Sugarcube Cornor?"
"Bingo." chimed Celestia. "Since I can fly I decided to eat out of town for lunch. Just can't work out why it took years for me to figure that out."
"Sometimes the simplest solutions are right under our nose. Just wish that my sisters could see that."
The pegasus saw the gloomy expression that her date wore and decided to avoid the subject for now. Though as the Princess of Equestria she had a good idea what he was talking about. About four of every seven letters from Twilight seemed to involve at least one of his sisters. Applejack was to stubborn for her own good and Apple Bloom was causing a disastrous amount of damage looking for her cutie mark.
"Easier said than done." began the princess turning her gaze up to the heavens. "I've flown over this place more times than I can count, but just because its under my nose so much doesn't mean I know what it is. Before today for all I knew these could've been pear trees instead of apple, and don't even try to make me guess what all those buildings are."
Big Mac found himself joining his date in staring into the blue world above. Having never been there himself he found it hard to imagine what the farm looked like to a pegasus who could fly above the clouds. Even looking out from the hilltop didn't help shift his perspective. It was just something that was alien to him. Which made it all the more amusing.
"Guess you're right. What seems obvious to one pony is a mystery to another. Though if you're that baffled I should give you a tour of the farm, but you probably need to get going."
Celestia was about to protest when a magical alarm went off inside of her head. Telling her that it was indeed time to head back. "Let's do that next time. How does this Friday at six sound." asked the princess ruffling her wings nervously.
"Good to me." answered Big Mac. Happy that he was not caught off guard this time by Summer Crisp's request. "I will have the grand tour ready for you to enjoy."
"It's a date!" declared the princess pecking the stallion on the cheek. "See you then and thanks for the wonderful picnic."
Caught up in a daze of summer warmth Big Mac watched as Summer Crisp flew back to the capital. "I guess, dating a tigress like her isn't so bad. Just glad she didn't do anything crazy like at the Sugarcube Corner. Still I can't believe there's another mare that can eat me under the table."
A sudden dilemma hit Big Mac like a stick of dynamite. He only had two options. First he could go back to work only to have the ladies at home keep him up till the crack of dawn with questions. Or he could go back now and get nothing else done for the day, which would only add to tomorrow's work.
"Decisions, decisions." laughed Big Mac. "No sleep for me tonight."
Author's Note
Celestia's First Date Checklist
~~Something goes wrong~~
~~Embarrass oneself~~
~~Awkward meal~~
~~Meaningless small talk~~
~~Second Date?~~
Mandatory awkward first date is awkward to write. Tried writing this more from Big Mac's point of view. Didn't have as much fun as when I focus on Celestia and her antics. So I'm going to being focusing on her more from now on. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Comments and critiques are always welcome.
That night after her first date in centuries the princess found herself restlessly pacing the floor of her secret chamber. Some how she had managed to hold her nerves through the rest of the day in the royal court without exploding. Though now she felt that every nerve ending in her body was fried.
"Why does dating have to be so hard, exhausting, and painful?" moaned the princess to her reflection in the mirror.
Shaking her head the reflection gave a mighty sigh. "Oh come on, it wasn't that bad."
Poking her bruised wing Celestia continued her rant. "Sure it all worked out in the end, but nothing went according to plan." To emphasize her point she shoved a checklist towards the mirror.
Dawning a pair of glasses the reflection peered at the list. "Why are you complaining? Everything here got checked off. Plus do you really think that any of your planned events could even hold a candle to the natural occurrence?"
Tossing the list aside Celestia turned away. "They weren't that bad." pouted the princess.
"You're right, they were horrible!." chided the reflection. "Let's see, for the accident you planned on slipping and falling face first into the pie. Only to ask him if he wanted to lick it off? By your beard what were you thinking?"
Whirling around the princess glared at herself. "Okay, that one wasn't a winner."
"Oh and how many of them are?" replied the reflection in a haughty tone. "Putting the date plans aside. How many of your plans have worked out perfectly? Did your plan with Luna a thousand years ago work? What about the one with Sunset Shimmer? Keeping Discord in the bloody royal garden, just asking to be freed? How about taking the Elements of Harmony away from the bearers for safe keeping? Don't even get me started on all the failed plans regarding Twilight?"
Shuffling her hooves Celestia's gaze lost all its heat as it dropped to the floor. "Just because I'm Celestia, princess of the day doesn't make me perfect. I learned that lesson long ago, but were my date plans really on the level of Discord?"
"Sweetie the rest of your plans would be to risky for any type of media." retorted the mirror mare. "However enough of the past, what's the plan for this Friday?"
Clapping her hooves together Celestia started to beam ear to ear. "Got a tour date of the Sweet Apple Acres. Might even get introduced to the family."
Waving her down the reflection looked heavily concerned. "Hold on a second. Aren't you scared that Applejack could recognize you? She is an element bearer after all. Not to mention you and Apple Bloom belong to the same secret society for mares. So she knows you pretty well from there. Also don't forget Granny Smith was once your tea time buddy as well. By dating Big Mac you've fully Incorporated the entire family into your royal circle."
The princess froze with fright, she hadn't given any of that a single thought. Sure she had been able to pull the wool over Rarity's eyes during a short meeting, but the Apple family was different. They had multiple members of different generations that had a deeper understanding of who she was. A deeper understanding than most ponies in all of Canterlot did. Not to mention the extended amount of time she was going to end up spending with them due to dating couldn't be compared to a short lunch. She had to up both her game plan and be more vigilant at the same time. Oddly the thought of such a challenge gave her excited shivers.
Meanwhile back on the farm Mac was regretting his earlier decision to work. Giving a mighty yawn the stallion nearly fell off the living room couch from exhaustion. The families old grandfather clock rang out its two O'clock greeting. Before he could even set a single hoof in the house he'd been barraged by questions from his family. Forcefully skipping dinner he'd been retelling the events of his date ever since. Having just finished his fifth retelling the stallion was glad that he'd left out the part of a second date or the ladies surrounding him wouldn't let him sleep at all tonight.
Though having told the story so many times Mac couldn't help, but raise an eyebrow. "Weren't all three of you watching?"
The ladies of the family quickly averted their eyes. Mac had to fight back a chuckle as all three of them were acting like a child caught reaching into the cookie jar.
Bringing her eyes back from the ceiling Applejack was the first to break the silence. "We're sorry for spying on ya Big Mac."
"It's just been a good while since you last had a date." continued Granny Smith giving her grandson a hug.
Apple Bloom's face grew beat red. "Well a date that wasn't against your will..." mumbled Big Mac's littlest sister as she recalled the memories of giving him a love potion. "We only wanted to see what she was like, but we should've respected your privacy..."
Big Mac took a deep breath. He understood completely. If either of his sisters suddenly had a date with a stranger from out of town he would've done the same. Maybe even bought some standby concrete just in case, you know for farming purposes only. "Apology accepted, though that doesn't answer my question."
"We had a small complication downstairs that stole our attention away." coughed Applejack who was staring daggers at Apple Bloom and Granny Smith. "So we didn't catch what happened."
Banging her hoof on the coffee table Granny Smith stopped any further inquiry about the incident by her grandson. "Enough of this jibber jabber. Why didn't you kiss her?"
"She's pretty enough." chimed Apple Bloom.
Rubbing his tired eyes Big Mac shook his head. "Not on the first date Bloom."
Jabbing her brother in the side Apple Jack gave him a goofy smile. "Come on partner, after what Rarity told me she gave you at the Sugarcube Corner a small kiss is nothing."
Blushing heavily Mac tried his best to hide his face from his sisters. "Be as that may, its not something a gentlecolt would return until at least the second date." It was at that instant that he realized that he had screwed up.
Shouting in unison his sisters pounced on him like a pair of hungry lions. "SECOND DATE!"
"Oomph" grunted Mac as his back met the sturdy oak floorboards. He had been intentionally leaving that part out all night, but had just given up the game with that slip.
"What are you doing?" asked Bloom jumping up and down on his chest.
Big Mac struggled to sneak out his words in between his youngest sisters jumps. "Going. To give. Her a. Tour. Of the. Farm."
"When is it?" asked Applejack who was unconsciously pinning down her brothers left half.
"This. Friday. At. Six." gasped Mac.
"Hmm," pondered Applejack staring at the mess in the house. "Barely enough time to get this place cleaned up."
"Yep. Now can. You two get. Off?"
Realizing what both of them were doing to their brother the two sisters quickly jumped off. Upon releasing her brother Applejack ran to the kitchen to fetch her weekly work planner. Meanwhile Bloom stayed behind with her brother, her previous excitement gone.
Leaning close to her brother she began talking in a soft voice so that Granny smith couldn't hear. "But Big Mac, you promised we'd go this week."
Walking back into the room behind her siblings Applejack managed to catch part of what her sister had said. "Go where Bloom?"
The youngest sibling visibly left the floor as she screamed. "WHAHAAAAA! Applejack? What are you doing sneaking up on me like that?"
Eyeing her little sister with suspicion Applejack put her notebook aside. "I wasn't sneaking. I was just getting my note pad. Now why are you acting like a groundhog who's seen its shadow?"
Stepping between his two sisters Big Mac turned towards Applejack. "Guess the cats out of the bag Bloom. Our secret fun night ain't a secret no more."
Cocking her head Applejack gave her brother a puzzled look. "Secret fun night?"
"Yes, secret fun night. Starting about a year ago when you began your girls night out with the other members of the elements of harmony. Both me and Bloom started doing our own brother sister fun night every Friday when you'd go hang out in Ponyville."
Climbing on top of her brother's head Apple Bloom took over for him. "We even saw you a couple times. We never told you, because well to be honest you needed to meet ponies outside of the family for once. Honestly before you became honesty you never left this farm."
Applejack felt herself growing frustrated as her siblings statements had a sting to them. "I really don't want to hear that from you two of all ponies."
Scratching her chin in a dignified way Apple Bloom gave a short pause before adding more fuel to the fire. "Sorry sis, but are you the one dating a pony from another city? Can you name me one friend that you made since school that didn't involve a magical preordained destiny to encounter?"
The older sister's shoulder's slouched. She had no argument against what her younger sister was saying. Without the destiny of being a bearer of an Element of Harmony she would've never made the friends she had today. "Still Big Mac you should've planned things better." started Applejack waving her planner around. "Double booking yourself like that. An adult should be more responsible with their appointments and promises."
"You don't say." said Bloom laying down on her brother's head with a wolfish grin. "Me an Mac can always reschedule, besides it gives me a chance to meet Summer Crisp, but I'm not sure you and Granny can do either."
Both Granny and Applejack hated when Bloom smiled like this. It was never a good thing for others. It was never seen by outsiders. It was her face that she only brought out when it was checkmate. Granny Smith was the first of the duo to figure out what was happening. As her eldest granddaughter was to busy scowling at her grinning sister to think about anything. "Crab apples Bloom, You're going to be the only one here Friday!"
In a state of panic Applejack began flipping through her planner like a mad beast. "What? That can't be right." Upon finding the date her heart sank. There it was in bold highlight. A trip to their cousins baby shower early this Friday morning. "Maybe we could leave Saturday instead..."
Leaping off her roost Bloom closed her sister's book. "An adult should be responsible with their appointments and promises right, Applejack? You and Granny DID promise to arrive early to help setup remember.
The oldest sister gave a scowl at her notebook. Family was family and no matter how much she wished to stay Summer Crisp wasn't family, yet.
"Righty oh then. Young lady you're gonna be responsible for giving the family a good showing." said Granny giving her youngest grandchild a hug. "How about us ladies bake the girl something to say howdy by?"
"Ooh, ooh, can we make apple snappers?" asked Bloom as she jumped around the room in excitement.
Breaking her scowl Applejack couldn't help, but laugh at her sisters antics. "Apple Bloom, you just want to eat the extras."
The youngest siblings cheeks glowed. "Guilty."
While the ladies had been distracted momentarily by their own plans Big Mac had slowly and silently slinked out of the room. To him it was his one golden opportunity to get some sleep. He had already made it out of the living room, through the kitchen, and to the stairwell. It was an impressive feat for a stallion of his size. A sudden squeak of an old step made him wince as he felt three pairs of burning eyes, whose fury could outmatch any beast in Tartarus, drill holes through his soul.
From the flames a single unified voice called out. "Where do you think you're going?"
Gathering all his strength the stallion gave a mighty leap to clear the remaining stairs. Behind him he heard the sound of two brother seeking missiles, called sisters, slam into the bottom of the stairwell where he'd been a moment before.
"To bed!" declared the stallion in a booming tenor voice as he closed the door behind him. Quickly locking it Big Mac threw all the furniture he had against the door. Hoping against hope that it kept them out till the dawn sun woke him.
'Why couldn't the week be longer? ' thought Big Mac as he raced around Sweet Apple Acres trying to put the finishing touches on everything. His grandmother and oldest sister had already left for the baby shower earlier that morning. Meanwhile Bloom had promised to pick up the bouquet he'd ordered on her way home from school. Even with the help of his family all week long preparations had fallen behind and the Friday sun was beginning to descend.
Running through the kitchen with a dustpan the sweet spicy aroma of apple snappers gave the stallion a pause. The ladies had really out done themselves this time. Four towering trays of cookies reached towards the ceiling, each as tall as the stallion himself. Pulling himself away from the sweets he stowed the pan away under the sink before making for the front door.
Exiting at full speed Big Mac slammed full force into his youngest sister. Sending her and the parcel she was transporting flying. Landing a couple yards away with a dull thud and a small cloud of dust.
Shaking herself off Bloom started to pick herself up. "What's the rush Big Mac? Is the house on fire?"
Rushing over Big Mac helped his little sister up. "Are you okay Bloom?"
"Yep, just peachy. Little dusty, but fine." replied Bloom brushing the dirt out of her hair. "Just be glad it wasn't Summer. Not sure she's made of the same sturdy stuff we Apples are."
Mac smiled as he picked up the parcel. "That I am, though she isn't due for a few more hours."
Playfully bumping into her brother Bloom trotted into the house. "Don't be so sure about that Big Mac."
"Why?" asked Big Mac as a concerned creased formed in his brow.
"Simple," began Bloom grabbing a large platter of cookies. "According to Granny all girls who are big eaters and love sweets are the mischievous aggressive type. Who enjoy teasing, surprising, and ensnaring their dates, so please be careful with her."
"Um, Bloom." muttered Big Mac gazing at the growing mound of cookies his sister was gathering.
Stopping her harvest Bloom turned to her brother giving him a wink. "I confirm and deny nothing, but there is a reason Granny told me." Having said her part both Apple Bloom and half the apple snappers vanished upstairs.
With unease resting on his mind from his sisters words Big Mac tried to distract himself by getting back to work. Opening the parcel Apple Bloom had brought he gave a sigh of relief. Despite the accident the bouquet was still in perfect condition.
Prancing around the piles of outfits littering the hidden chamber the princess felt like she was going to explode. Every fiber of her being trembled with anticipation. This long week couldn't have ended sooner. Rummaging through a pile of ribbons she pulled out one that was a vibrant red. Twirling several times around the room like an ice skating ballerina the princess fell down dizzily in front of the mirror.
Rolling around on the floor she giggled and squealed in a manner unbecoming of the ruler of Equestria. When was the last time she had felt this light hearted, joyful, exhilarated? Coming to a sudden stop Celestia realized that she had gotten tangled up in her ribbon.
"Looking saucy there, I approve." came the voice from behind the glass. "Big Mac won't know what hit him if you go like that."
Pulling herself up the princess gazed at her image of Summer Crisp standing in the mirror. It was an alien feeling seeing a reflection that wasn't really her. "Sadly Summer, we both know this ribbon outfit is to risky."
Giggling uncontrollably Summer hid her face behind her mane. "You say that, but you still do plan on wearing it again."
Finally free of the ribbon Celestia began to weave it into her hair while she braided it. "I can't lie to you Summer and you can't lie to me. So I won't even try to deny that."
"Yet you insistently argue with me." pouted Summer crossing her arms. "I bet you're the only one who argues with me this much."
Celestia momentarily stopped working on her hair. "To be fair I'm the only girl that has a sentient inner heart to argue with."
Looking back it was hard for Celestia to tell when Summer first appeared. Years of isolation had driven her into many conversations with herself. She couldn't tell if it was magic, being an alicorn, or just sheer insanity, but every once in awhile as she talked to herself a voice would start talking back. This time around the voice turned out to be Summer Crisp. Celestia had no doubt that these occurrences were the only things that had kept her sane over the centuries. Well as sane as talking to voices in your head could be.
"So then my inner most heart," smirked Celestia returning to braiding her hair. "What type of trouble should we spring on our stallion tonight?"
Author's Note
Started off writing this as a short chapter how'd it end up so long?
Well I'm off to write a short story about Celestia's secret society now. Should be fun.
Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter should be out next week. Comments and critiques are always welcome.
Soaring through the evening sky Celestia quickly made her way towards Sweet Apple Acres. The lack of stormy weather or a picnic lunch made the trip so much easier. Though the cloudless sky and lack of wind was unsettling to her wings she was glad. For it made the perfect weather for what was going to happen later that night.
Crossing a high ridge she began to brake slowly as the farm came into sight. The princess had no intention of crash landing twice in a row. As she approached, the lone red figure of her date outside the main house started to come into view. Slowly an unroyal, yet playful smile crossed her face. "Okay Celestia, its show time."
Silently the princess began to glide towards the roof. Landing without a sound she tip toed over to the edge. Peering over she saw Mac glancing around nervously with a bouquet of flowers.
'Awe, they're beautiful. He such a sweetie. ' thought the princess, feeling a little guilty for what she was about to do, but the thrill outweighed the guilt.
Taking careful aim the princess leapt from the rooftop. Ill prepared for the sudden assault from above Mac felt his legs buckle under the impact. Despite the surprise arrival of his date and panic stricken heart he couldn't help but notice how soft Summer Crisp was.
"Soft." The stallion instantly bit his tongue to stop further thoughts from escaping.
However his efforts were in vain as the princess had already heard him. Starting from the base of the neck she began to gently nuzzle him as she made her way towards his ear. Upon reaching her destination she gave it a light puff before whispering.
"Soft? What's Soft?"
Turning his head away from the intrusive mare, Mac did his best to hide his embarrassment.
"Was your landing soft?"
'So that's how you want to play, shy boy. ' echoed Summer Crisp, as the princess slid off. Walking around the stallion she stared him in the eyes.
"Hmm~, is that so?" Mentally she was tucking away the note that he liked soft things. Unable to hold her stare into Mac's flustered face the princess found herself breaking out into laughter. "Hahahaha, was my landing soft? Hehehe, honestly a marble statue would've been softer. Just what are you made of? Hahahe."
Mac was relieved to see that Summer wasn't hurt. He was just glad that this date was starting out on a different hoof. Grinning slightly at his dates merry nature he held out the bouquet. "These are for you."
Sweeping up the flowers the princess filled her lungs with the delicate aroma. Glowing brightly she nestled her nose in the colorful petals, gazing softly at her date. "They're wonderful, thank you."
Having spent his life growing up as the sole male in a house of four, Mac had gotten use to many different gazes from the female species. Granny's stern yet kind gaze that could pierce his soul, Applejack's eye rolls and glazed looks of indifference, and Apple Bloom's puppy eyes that softened his heart were just to name a few. However Summer's eyes were something else entirely. They unnerved him, comforted him, and seemed to hypnotize him all at once. He was lost for words as he felt the image of those priceless pink diamonds burn into his brain.
Peeking out her window blinds Bloom saw her brother acting like a toad caught by a vipers stare. Giving a disparaging sigh she ran downstairs to save her brother. "Bushels of crab apples Mac! I warned you to be careful around her!"
Rounding the stairwell Bloom made a mad dash for the front door. Slamming the full force of her body against it. While not as robust as her brother, she still managed to send the door flying open. "Big brother is she..."
WHACK! Bloom tumbled back into the house stunned by the violently returning door. From within the walls of the house the pair faintly heard the filly's voice ring out. "I'm okay."
The spell of the moment was gone, which greatly upset Celestia. She hadn't spent the better half of a millennia practicing for nothing. None the less she swallowed her bitterness and followed Big Mac in checking in on his sister.
'Bet you fifty bits she did that on purpose. ' whispered Summer.
'Oh I know she did. ' replied the princess.
Purposeful or not the young farmer was lain out on the floor by the blow. A deep purple mark was spreading across her left side. Already it was no smaller than at least two grapefruits and it was still growing.
Gingerly Mac picked up his injured sister and started walking towards the kitchen. "Well then, guess I'll start this date off by giving you a short tour of the house. First off this is the kitchen."
The old-timey fashioned kitchen made Celestia feel like she'd stepped back in time. Handmade hot pads, cast iron pots and pans, crooked hand carved shelves, lace, lace everywhere, and a giant mound of freshly baked cookies. Though judging by the empty trays some had already been tested for quality. Silently the princess shoved a few into the pockets of her dress.
Walking behind Mac, the princess followed him through the kitchen into the next room. She was sure he was saying something, but she was to busy focusing on the show in front to pay attention. Like the marble statues of old, Mac couldn't hide the clear cut bulk that was his muscles. The princess marveled at how gently they could support and comfort the injured Apple Bloom. Jealously biting her lip, she secretly wished to trade places with the filly.
Then she found herself alone with the filly, who was resting on the couch. To her surprise as soon as Mac had vanished Bloom sat upright like a bolt. The princess then found herself confronted by the biggest brightest pair of starry eyes she had ever seen. They were brimming, no gushing with joy. So much so that the princess had to take a few steps back not to be blinded.
"I can't believe this is happening!" squealed Apple Bloom, shaking with excitement. "This is amazing! I mean I knew you liked him. But going this far to date him!"
Celestia stood dumbstruck unable to follow what was happening. She had fully expected the little devil sister routine to come at her full force. Instead Apple Bloom was acting like her personal cheerleader. "To be fair Canterlot isn't to far from Ponyville for a pegasus."
Resting her head between her hooves Apple Bloom was grinning ear to ear. "Oh come on, you know that's not what I meant, Princess Celestia."
"How?" gulped Celestia, trying her best not to panic now that her cover was blown.
"Seriously?" started Apple Bloom, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "I've seen you giving my brother doe eyes for half a year now. Heck, you can't stop blushing and playing with your mane in front of him."
Celestia was in a mental state of denial. There was no way she could be that obvious with her crushes after a thousand years, right? "That still doesn't explain how you knew it was me."
Giving an exasperated sigh Apple Bloom realized that Celestia was in denial. "Two words. Maiden. Stare. Out of the three mares in the world that can use that weapon none are pegasi. Meaning, the only other option was one of the three was using magic to disguise herself. With Pinkie Pie and Bon Bon out of the picture that only left you, princess."
"But..." started the princess only to be interrupted by Apple Bloom.
"Even if the situation were a pegasus from Canterlot developed the maiden stare without you knowing did happen, my brother wouldn't be dating her today. After all she would be directly challenging either the Crimson Tyrant of the Blood Sun or Princess Molestia, depending on how you felt this century."
Celestia's mental alarms boomed out at maximum capacity. 'MAKE IT STOP!' screamed Summer in pain.
Even the princess herself was getting a headache from the cacophony being made. "Why do you know those titles?"
Slowly a vile smile carved its way across Apple Bloom's face. "Silly little princess, did you honestly believe you could erase everything? All it takes is one living mouth to reveal the truth." Suddenly Apple Bloom's expression softened. "Do you have any idea how much you talk when drunk?"
"Wha!" squeaked the princess in shock. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever thought of herself as a rambling drunk. "How much have I said over the years?"
"To much for me to tell you." replied Apple Bloom shrugging. "Ask Pinkie Pie to show you the club records if you really want to know. But enough of that princess, just how far do you plan to go with my brother?"
Before the princess even had a chance to speak, Bloom already knew the answer. It was written clear as day on her face. A small devious smile, the gentle licking of her lips, and heavy breathing, all gave away the princess's intentions for the future. "Oh, the things I plan on doing with that stallion on our honey moon."
'SNAP OUT OF IT!' yelled Summer, 'You're a millennia old maiden in love, not a horny teenager! '
'Awe why can't I be a little bit of both? ' whined Celestia.
'Molestia! Bucking Molestia, that's why. Do you really want to have that title branded onto you again? '
'Phooey, Summer why do you always have to make sense? Fine I tune everything back down. '
'Better be back to ground zero with the way you're acting. The guy isn't even present and your already falling over the edge with your hormones .'
"Would you like a helping hoof making that come true?" asked Bloom, reaching out her hoof.
Returning from the land of future fantasies and voices in her head Celestia pondered the idea for a moment. She wasn't sure how things would go, but it sounded like a lot of fun triple teaming Big Mac with Apple Bloom's and Summer Crisp's help. "What do you have in mind Apple Bloom?" replied Celestia, firmly grasping Bloom's outstretched hoof.
"Oh please future sis, just call me Bloom. Now as for the plan..."
Meanwhile Big Mac was having the worse time of his life trying to find even the smallest spec of ice for his sister. The freezer in the house was empty, as was the barn side cooler, even the cellar fridge was clean. His only remaining hope was the old icebox in the store house on the far sides of the yard. As he dashed across the open stretch of grass he was unaware that he was retracing his sisters steps from when she disposed of all the ice the night before.
Reaching the ancient machine Mac swung its rusted old doors open. From within its confines all the ice Bloom had previously gathered tumbled out on top of him. The rush of coolness was a very welcome feeling after running around in the summer sun, but he couldn't stop wondering why so much ice was here.
Digging his way out of the sudden winter storm he felt his hoof connect with something that wasn't frozen water. Giving it a kick the sturdy stallion sent the object flying into the wall. With a thud a large tube of apple sherbet fell to the floor with a note attached. Mac chuckled as he read the letter.
'Sorry about causing such a ruckus. Just wanted to meet Summer Crisp for a bit. Feel free to use this to help cool off after your tour.' - Apple Bloom.
Having lived with two little sisters for so long Mac was use to this type of tactical move. For him it was just another part of life that popped up every once in a while. It was always nice to get a friendly surprise like this, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why they injured themselves so much doing it.
Knowing now that Bloom's injury wasn't too serious, Mac took his time putting everything back in the icebox. He intended to give the two girls enough time to get themselves acquainted. Little did he know how acquainted his date and sister really were.
Upon hearing the front door open Apple Bloom quickly flopped herself back down on the couch. Carrying a large bag of ice, Mac missed the quick exchange of glances and smirks that passed between the two girls as he returned.
Handing his sister the bag Mac turned to his date. "Sorry about that. We seem to be out of ice on this farm. Took a while to round this up."
"Thank you Big Mac." said Bloom, placing the ice gently on her bruise. "Now I believe you owe Summer a grand tour. Don't worry about me, I'll just holler if I need anything."
Big Mac was going to protest, but Summer had already wrapped herself around his foreleg and was leading him out. "Listen to your little sister, and let the injured filly get some rest."
As the two were leaving the room Mac winced in fright as his sister called out to him. "Why don't you show her around the new apple cellar? Bet she'll love that."
Out of all the places on the farm that was the last place he wanted to take Summer on this date. No telling what would happen between them once they got down there. While he was hoping that his date would forget about the suggestion he missed the wink that the two girls gave each other.
Hearing the front door shut Bloom relaxed her head on a pillow. Wondering what type of storm her brother was in for. Be it a drizzle or a hurricane she was sure it was going to be a mess. A fun mess that she was now a part of.
Author's Note
Well that just happened. Never in any of my drafts did molestia or tyrant Celestia ever occur, but they somehow manged to worm their way in regardless. Hopefully those two won't lead to to much corruption... Don't really plan on bringing them up again though...
Anyways hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it was worth the wait. Going to be splitting this date into parts to make releasing it easier. Comments and critiques are always welcome.
