One time there was a pony named poultron. He lived in ponyville and didn’t have any friends. Nobody liked him because he was always getting dunked on by goggles. The pony that hated him most was Pinkie Pie, because she was the worst pony that ever did, even worse that poultron, but not as bad.
One day Poultron was sitting at his computer, ordering his weekly gift to himself from baddragon.com. This week it was a whole carton of dragon dildos. He ordered it using his mum’s credit card when she was asleep. He had to be quiet or she’d come in and yell at him. So yeah he ordered the dildos and waited for them to come.
Then they did come. He ran outside to get them and Pinkie pie saw him.
‘hey poultron!’ said pinkie.
‘h-hey...’ he stuttered back
‘what’s in the box there?’
‘dr-dragon dildos...’
‘what?’
‘>implying it isn’t always dragon dildos’
‘wait, what? Why are you muttering?’
‘n-nothing.’
‘Oh, well. Enjoy your package!’
‘you too...OH GOD!’
poultrons spaghetti suddenly explodes out of his pockets, twirling around into small pasta whirlwinds. As the spaghetti pours out, it adds to the whirlwinds, turning them into full blown tornados as they lift poultron into the air and into space. As he descends higher and higher, he sees something in the distance. He approaches a giant basketball hoop suspended in space. The spaghetti twisters tear over to the hoop and pull poultron through in the biggest dunking the universe had ever known. As Poultron is pulled down into the nothingness of space, a faint sound echoes through the ears of every pony on earth.
COME ON AND SLAM AND WELCOME TO THE JAM!
fin
