"Fluttershy?"

The pegasus looked up at her lover from the comfortable position of embracing her in bed, head resting on her chest. Her mane was a frazzled mess, but then again so was Rarity's; her mane clinging to her face, her makeup smeared and streaked, her coat damp with sweat. Another day spent together had ended up with with the two unable to keep their hooves off of each other (as happened frequently lately) and after hours of kissing, rubbing, touching, fucking, and countless very exciting commands to follow, the fashionista's usually not inconsiderable skills at avoiding looking disheveled regardless of circumstances had simply failed her. Fluttershy was the only pony who had seen her in this state; untidy, physically exhausted and lust-drunk. Judging from the way the corners of her mouth crept closer to her ears and the way her eyes seemed to sparkle, the pegasus very much liked what she saw. She seemed to take a special joy in watching her lover turn from one state to another, in being the cause of that shift especially. Over the course of the last few weeks, Fluttershy had grown steadily more teasing, giving Rarity orders that would make her assume some embarrassing position where all her most private parts were on display, or she would address her in a way that made her feel insignificant and small in the most wonderful and pleasant ways. Despite how unnatural it seemed, Rarity had welcomed it all, awaiting with bated breath what new degradations Fluttershy would bring her.

"Mm? Yes?" Fluttershy replied, gazing intently at her lover. Had anypony else seen her like this, Rarity would have fled with remarkable speed, dug a hole in the ground, and remained in there until nopony remembered her name. Yet, feeling Fluttershy's beautiful cyan eyes on her, she was not just comfortable, she was excited.

As much as the thought of begging for more and being made even more disheveled aroused Rarity, however, an insistent thought had been prodding at her attention for almost as long as the two had been intimate. The more daring they became in their sex life, the more nagging the thought had become, and during the evening it had become too powerful to bear. Rarity could no longer ignore it. "What are we?" she asked, a quizzical look on her face.

"Hmm." Fluttershy placed a quick peck on her lover's tummy. "Ponies? Marefriends?" she suggested.

"Yes..." Rarity said with a faint smile. Despite the way it made her feel, the somersault her mind made at hearing that word, she did not feel convinced. Something about that definition felt off, as if it was a word she had no right to claim.

Sensing her lover's anxiety, Fluttershy gently ran her hoof in circles against the unicorn's side, and wrapped her tail around her back hooves. "The cutest, sexiest lesbians Equestria has ever seen?"

Her hooves enveloped in soft, fluffy warmth, Rarity drew a deep, content sigh, though her worries were by no means abated. "Well, yes, obviously." She gently stroked her marefriend's mane, feeling a pang of guilt at daring to question the happiness they had come to share. "But I mean, what... are we?"

"I think..." Fluttershy lifted her hoof, paused for a moment, then lowered it again. "Ok, you've lost me." she admitted. "Is this some kind of riddle?"

"No, what I mean is..." Rarity cleared her throat, not entirely certain how to put her concerns into words. "Romance is supposed to work, uhm, differently, isn't it? There's supposed to be, ooh I don't know, hoof accidentally brushing against hoof, followed by dates in restaurants, awkward rollerskating, and then a first kiss with the lovers snuggled closely together on a bench in the park under the full moon. Right?"

She was aware of her own habits and stubbornness; that she would occasionally get very detailed ideas about How Things Should Be. Ideas fueled by her consumption of books, novels and movies all selling a very strictly defined version of romance, and her desire to have the same pure, beautiful things described in those stories. Indeed, it had taken her the better part of the month since they became a couple to at least partially come to terms with the fact that perhaps she was about as straight as a circle. But even taking all of that into consideration, something felt wrong.

"But we're not like that, are we?" she continued, closing her eyes. "I... I kissed you on the hoof before I kissed you on your mouth! I barked like a dog!" Even looking away, she could tell that Fluttershy was grinning. Peeking down for a split second confirmed her suspicion. "I, uhh, I did... I did those things before even saying that I love you." She squeaked in embarrassment, but quickly gathered her resolve again. "That's not how it's supposed to be... is it?"

Fluttershy pretended to clear her throat in an attempt to buy herself time to stop smiling. "Uhm, well... I don't think relationships are supposed to be like anything." She hesitated for a moment, and what remained of the smile disappeared as a fear struck her. She sat up abruptly. "A-are... Are you unhappy with ours?"

Her face shifted into that expression again; one Rarity had not seen in a long time. The expression that suggested that the poor pegasus was about to launch into a long chain of I'm sorry's and forgive me's and I'll make it up to you's.

"No!" Rarity sat up beside her, grabbing her marefriend's hooves upon realising that voicing her silly worries had come off as being unhappy with their relationship. "No, not at all, darling! I wouldn't change a thing! I love you, and I love what we have together!" She embraced Fluttershy, tightly. "Sweet Celestia, I love you so much. But I simply feel... confused. I've never felt anything like this before. Can you forgive me?"

Fluttershy frowned, looking at Rarity with pleading eyes, clearly worried that she had somehow hurt her partner despite her assurances to the contrary. But after a few moments she forced a smile, a bit too joyless to be taken as sincere. "Of... Of course I can!" she replied, hugging her lover back. "There's nothing to forgive, so don't worry, ok?"

Despite their closeness, Rarity suddenly felt miles away from her love, and the guilt was like a hard, cold, heavy stone in her stomach. She had told the truth; there was nothing she would change about the two of them, not for all the diamonds in Equestria. But that was also the cause of her fears: A thousand books had told her a specific recipe for successful romance. Almost as many of her own attempts at emulating this formula had failed spectacularly. Yet despite their triteness and cliché, there was a certain safety to those stories, a promise of a solid foundation upon which a stable relationship could be built. What she had with Fluttershy was uncharted territory to Rarity; an unknown quantity where certainties were few and potential catastrophes lurked everywhere.By allowing something as absurd as their illogical relationship, with all its paradoxes and seemingly contradictory circumstances, to continue as it was, were they actually inviting ruin? She needed rules, she needed reassurances that everything would be fine, she needed to know if what they had would work, and what she could do to keep it from crumbling.

And right at that very moment, she knew absolutely nothing.

The evening progressed slowly, their interactions feeling less natural than they usually did. Yet little by little the anxious atmosphere faded, forced smiles became genuine, and by nightfall the two had kissed and made up, their discussion from earlier all but forgotten.

· · · • • ◇◇◇ • • · · ·

"You've got style, you're dazzling, all your doubts are gone!
Fortune favours the bold, show them you've already won!
Get your pony on!"

Pinkie Pie, Applejack and Rainbow Dash all raised their glasses as they got to the chorus. What their singing lacked in melody and harmony, they more than made up for in volume and raw inebriated enthusiasm. Rarity smiled and sang along as well, despite the volume being quite a bit louder than what she usually preferred. (She had thought of herself as an old mare since a very early age, for several reasons. Her attitudes regarding popular music being one of them.) Fluttershy was by her side, the poor pegasus looking equal parts terrified and overjoyed. Her mouth was moving with the music, but she was not quite confident enough to actually sing in public yet, despite the progress she had made lately. Of course, for her to even go to a dance club was nothing short of astonishing. At first she had plain refused, having never gone partying in her entire life, but upon hearing that Twilight, a fellow life-time introvert and club-avoider, was also going she had reluctantly agreed to come as well. Twilight, it seemed, wanted to find out more about partying and getting drunk, and had apparently approached this research with the same meticulous care as she did everything else. Rarity looked around. Where was Twilight anyway?

Oh. On the dance floor. Rarity thought to herself with an amused little chuckle. Where else? Drunk as a skunk and dancing even worse than when she's sober. Well, it's a golden opportunity for her to learn more about hangovers as well. And possibly paparazzi...

"Get your pony on!" They all yelled as the song ended, Rainbow and Applejack quickly downing their glasses of cider. By the looks of it, Applejack narrowly won their little contest. Rainbow swore and slammed her hoof into the table.

"Looks like the next round is on me!" she said, only swaying a little as she stood up. "So what do you guys want?"

They each picked their favorites; Marmalade Daiquiri for Rarity, Toasted Almond for Fluttershy, a pint of cider each for Rainbow and Applejack, and some terrifying monstrosity called "The Pinkienator" for Pinkie Pie. ("Just order it, the bartender knows what it is.")

"Okay, and Twilight?" Rainbow asked.

As on cue, the Princess herself stumbled up to the five, almost tripping over her own legs. Somehow, she had found a lampshade to wear as a hat. Rarity suspected that she had brought it herself, as it was the drunk thing to do.

"... Has had enough, I think! Fruit juice for Twilight!" Pinkie suggested. Rainbow Dash chuckled, then walked over to the bar.

Twilight shot her a glare like the pink pony had just insulted her mother, then blew a raspberry at her before, with considerable difficulty and a few false starts, sitting down next to Rarity and hugging her tightly. "Rarity!" she exclaimed, voice full of unbridled, drunk happiness. "I'm so, SO very proud of you! So proud of you! They said it couldn't be done and yet YOU never gave up! You gave it your all, you showed everyone that RARITY never quits! Yeah! And you did it!" Rarity nodded quizzically in reply, despite having no idea what Twilight was talking about. The alicorn seemed to have drunkenly woven in some narrative of her own. "You proved... Proved that it was possible! You've been chosen as the costume designer for Sapphire Shores herSELF!" She turned towards the other, gesturing wildly at the unicorn. "Did you hear that, girls? Rarity is going to design c-"

"We know, Twilight!" Pinkie Pie interrupted the Princess with an amused giggle. "That's what we're celebrating!"

"And that's why Pinkie asked the DJ to play Get Your Pony On, remember?" Applejack added.

"Ohhh. Oh yeah. I thought that was a weird coincidence..." Twilight tapped her chin, then hugged Rarity once again. "Well, I'm still suuuuper proud of you, Rarity!"

Rarity thanked her and gave her a hug, all the while wondering if Twilight was really that drunk or if she just thought that she was.

"Drinks!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, having returned from the bar balancing a tray with six glasses on her back. Using her wings she effortlessly set it down on the table, and was met with joyful cheers from her friends. Except Twilight, who seemed less than pleased about the fruit juice. None the less, she took the straw in her mouth, sipping grumpily.

The evening continued with singing and dancing, drinking and small talk, and plenty of laughs. With the music pulsing in her ears, Rarity could not recall the last time she had felt so at ease, so happy, and that was not only because her friends were celebrating her achievements. (Although it certainly did not make it worse.) It was a joy born from the kind of loud, sincere celebration of friendship that even the six friends seldom experienced. Also, simply being close to Fluttershy like this was enough to fill Rarity's heart with joy. Whenever their friends attention was focused elsewhere the two would stealthily kiss, exchanging mischievous glances.

This is what it should be like, right? Rarity thought to herself sidling a little closer to her lover. A couple in love, celebrating and having fun?

She wanted to tell the others so badly. Wanted them to know how much in love they were, how fulfilled they made each other feel. She wanted to scream her happiness to the world.

But that was not to happen. At the very least, not yet. They were two mares in love, and neither was comfortable sharing that fact with the worlds, or even their closest friends, just yet.

And there was that other little detail as well, that worry that she had tried her best to suppress for the last few weeks. Yet for as hard as she pushed the thoughts into the back of her mind, the quicker they seemed to resurface. Though happy now, it didn't change the fact that her previous concerns had not been addressed at all. The thoughts of that ugly little lust they both shared. The strange cravings for control, and being controlled, that took over the two. Her own desire for words that caused her to gasp in shock, for situations that made her feel small and insignificant. It was simply not normal. Rarity loved gossip, the juicier the better, but she had never heard of anything quite so unconventional. Fluttershy was a kind pony, kind to a fault at times, but whenever the two were in private, the pegasus's behavior was different. Her own behavior was different. Their love, she thought, seemed increasingly... wrong. And even if the two were happy with their twisted love, would anypony else ever approve? Would they rightly demand that the two broke up, that they sought psychiatric help to heal the parts that were broken in them? It was not like she wanted to change what she had with Fluttershy, but it was also becoming increasingly clear that their relationship would not work in the long run unless they were made to change.

The melancholy thoughts she had drifted into were interrupted by decidedly more down to earth yet much more pressing and immediate matters.

"I'm sorry, I need to go to the little fillies' room!" she said, standing up on somewhat wobbly legs.

"Me too!" Fluttershy said, getting up with her.

· · · • • ◇◇◇ • • · · ·

Rarity drew a deep sigh as she did her business. Dance club bathrooms always made her feel vaguely uneasy. There was something subtly unreal about the combination of privacy and the highly personal act of relieving oneself coupled with the muted din of ponies talking and singing outside and the dull, thumping bass beat from the dance floor. She hurried to finish, then got out of the stall to wash her hooves. Standing by the mirror was Fluttershy, who somehow had been even quicker.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" she asked. There was the suggestion of a grin on her face.

"I'm having a great time, darling!" Rarity replied, lathering her hooves with soap. "I'm so thankful that all of you would come! It really means so much to me."

Fluttershy looked around to make sure that nopony else was in earshot, but began speaking in a half-whisper regardless. "I'm glad you feel that way," she said with a purr on her voice, "and I have even more fun planned for tonight. The kind of..." She looked around again. "The kind of fun that you love."

"Oh." Rarity replied, trying to mask her excitement by looking straight at her own reflection in the mirror. Her earlier melancholy was still fresh in her mind, and the more she imagined what Fluttershy had planned for her, the more it crawled its way back. "That's, uh, nice."

Fluttershy hesitated for a moment, the reaction clearly not what she had hoped for. "The, uhm, kind of fun where you spread your legs and I use my tongue on you until you scream in pleasure, and I won't stop no matter what..."

Rarity gasped, a shudder going through her body. The mere description made her want to grab Fluttershy, ditch her friends, and run home to receive the orgasmic bliss her lover had promised. But she instead cleared her throat and steeled herself. "I see..." she said in the calmest voice she could muster.

Fluttershy sighed. "I see?" she asked. "That's it?"

Rarity did not reply.

"Oh." Fluttershy lowered her gaze, turning away from the unicorn. "I understand. I'm, ah, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have... I assumed too much..." She spoke in a mumble, barely loud enough to be heard over the music coming from the dance floor, and began to walk away, dragging her hooves. The guilt made Rarity feel cold, as if she had been thrown out into a snowstorm. But she had to remain resolute. She could not allow herself to desire those things again. She clenched her teeth, watching Fluttershy leave. But then Fluttershy stopped. After hesitating for a few moments, she spun around to face Rarity. On her face was a look of not rage, not sadness, but disappointment.

"Why are you doing this?" Her voice sounded dispirited and monotone, but on her forehead was a barely noticeable line that appeared whenever she decided to remain resolute and stand her ground. It was subtle, but Rarity had learned to recognize it.

"Why am I doing what, dear?" Rarity asked, trying to sound incredulous.

"You're looking at me like you don't want to see me. Or touch me. You've been acting avoidant for weeks now. I just want you to be honest. Have you... Started to hate me?" She swallowed hard, as if dreading whatever the response would be.

"I don't hate you!" Rarity assured her, then quickly looked down at her hooves. Apparently she had not been as good at hiding her emotions as she thought. "I mean... It's not that simple."

Fluttershy shied back, her attempt at steeling herself having failed. "What... What have I done wrong? Did I... hurt you?" She sounded at once worried and upset.

"No, darling, you..." She hesitated, fidgeting uncomfortably. "You haven't hurt me. But the things we do, they..."

"You hate them? Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I don't hate them!" Rarity exclaimed. "That's the problem. I love the things we do too much."

"I... I don't understand. You told me you didn't want to change anything. Was that just a lie?"

Rarity turned away from Fluttershy. While she could, barely, keep her voice steady, she feared that the subject she was about bring up would cause her to blush, and the last thing she wanted was to seem eager and excited. "Do you recall what you called me yesterday?"

"Y-yes... But..." Fluttershy stammered.

"You called me a dumb little foal who talked too much... Then you told me to be silent while you... Licked me until I..." Rarity could feel her ears get warmer.

"I'm sorry, Rarity!" Fluttershy's voice sounded desperate and full of guilt. "I didn't know you hated being called things like that! It's, it's not for real, you know that, right?"

"I know it's not real." Rarity replied. She did know, despite how she liked to pretend, at times, that it was. "But it... It turns me on! That's not healthy! A mentally stable mare shouldn't enjoy things like that! I'm..." She drew a deep sigh. "I'm sick, Fluttershy."

"What? No!" Fluttershy walked up to her, but stopped just short of hugging her. "That's absurd! Does that mean I'm sick too?"

Rarity paused for a long time, wrestling with her conscience. "... Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Maybe!" Rarity turned around to face Fluttershy again, not sure what to make of the pegasus's expression. "Maybe we both need to see a psychiatrist."

"There's nothing wrong with you!" Fluttershy yelled in frustration, stomping at the floor. While she was not loud enough to be heard over the thumping music, any pony directly outside the bathroom door would have cause to reconsider whether they needed to go quite so badly. "Or me! We're just having fun!"

"How can it be fun? What kind of couple has ever acted like us?" Rarity yelled back, not caring of anypony heard.

"Does it matter? Even if we're the only ones, why can't we just be happy together?" Fluttershy said in a pleading voice. Her face, however, betrayed her growing frustration.

"Are we really happy, though, Fluttershy?" Rarity spat out the words, her own frustration rapidly catching up with her marefriend's. Why wouldn't she just understand? "Our filthy lusts are deluding us into thinking we're happy. But it's not real!"

Fluttershy stomped yet again, harder this time. "Of course we're happy! We're in love!"

"And what happens when the sex is over?" Rarity asked in an accusatory tone. She knew, rationally, that she was crossing some sort of line, but the argument had her feeling increasingly confrontational. "When the novelty has passed? Then what?"

There was no longer frustration on Fluttershy's face. Instead, she simply looked deeply insulted. "You're saying that sex is all there is to us? Is that all I am to you?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"I love you! And I care about you! And I KNOW you care about me! So why do you keep acting like... " She shook her head, letting out a guttural yell of pure frustration. "I swear, sometimes you just make me so TICKED OFF!" Turning away from Rarity, Fluttershy angrily swiped at a soap bottle, sending it flying. For a split second she seemed shocked at her own behavior, but then quickly decided that she did not care.

"Fluttershy, there's no need to use that kind of language!" Rarity chided her. "Besides, we shouldn't talk about this in public."

"Then why did you ask me to come, when you don't even want me here?" Fluttershy spat out the words.

"Of course I want you here!"

"You wanted me here but you didn't want me here! You don't want the pony you're in love with to be here!" Fluttershy exclaimed, her mascara becoming smudged as tears welled up in her eyes. "I'm fine with us keeping everything a secret from our friends, but it's like you don't want to admit even to yourself what you actually want!"

"I asked you if you wanted to come, you could have just said no." Rarity stated matter-of-factly, turning her nose up.

"I don't even want to be here!" Fluttershy growled. "It's loud and there are too many ponies but I wanted to be here with you and celebrate your design job! But if I'm not wanted I'm going home! I'll be happier alone than with a pony who doesn't even think I love her!" She stormed off, kicking open the bathroom door. Rarity could not recall Fluttershy ever having done anything like that. It was probably safe to assume that she was highly upset.

"Fine! You go home!" Rarity yelled after her, unable to stop herself. "See if I care, you... you twisted, sex-crazed maniac!"

"Freak!" Fluttershy yelled back, before slamming the door shut.

Despite the music from outside being so loud that Rarity could feel it in her hooves, the bathroom suddenly felt quiet as the grave, and she was left alone with her own quickly inflating guilt. She closed her eyes and held her breath; barely able to even move in fear of upsetting the all too fragile mental equilibrium that kept her from crying.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Rarity scolded herself, haunched over the sink, rubbing hard at her temples. You just had to, didn't you? You stupid mule! You were just supposed to explain it to her but you had to go and hurt her, didn't you?

She coughed hard to stifle a sob, looking up at the ceiling to keep the tears from flowing. Normally she was a very openly emotional pony, her friends having seen her mascara-streaked face on more than one occasion. However, showing them that she had been crying was the last thing she wanted. "Stop it, Rarity. Stop it. Don't act like a foal. Stop it. Stop it." she repeated to herself.

It was, at least, partially successful. Her makeup was smeared but not streaked, and in the dimly lit club, nopony would be able to tell. She practiced smiling for a few moments in front of the mirror; a skill she had honed over the years to near perfection. A pony in her profession had to, after all, be able to present an outward appearance of glamour and happiness, regardless of her inner emotional state. She drew a deep breath, then exited the bathroom. There had, indeed, been a line; some three mares nervously fidgeting and looking in any direction than directly at her. They quickly hurried into the bathroom. However much they had heard or not was something Rarity had to deal with later. Hopefully they had merely heard two mares being upset at each other; the loud, thumping music drowning out any details from their argument.

She made her way across the club, through the crowd of ponies, to where her friends were sitting. Thankfully they were far away from the bathroom. Upon noticing her coming back, Rainbow Dash waved at her.

"Rares!" she yelled, her eyes bleary, a stupid, drunk grin on her face. "You're back! That took a while! Did you poop?"

"Wha-? I beg your pardo-" Rarity sputtered.

"Rainbow! That ain't nice!" Applejack slapped the back of her head. "Pointin' out that somepony's pooped is real rude! Can't ya see yer embarrassin' her?"

"Ow! Fine, fine! I'm sorry, Rares! It's not my business that you were pooping!"

"Heh. Poop." Twilight said.

"I don't know what the big deal is!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, still sipping at the absurdly big glass of whatever spirits made up a Pinkienator. Unsurprisingly, there were no less than three paper umbrellas in it. "I mean everypony poops, right? You should see my poops after I go through two dozen cupcakes! It's a miracle I can even flush them!"

There was a moment of stunned silence.

"Pinkie, go see a doctor." Applejack sighed.

"Anyway!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, desperate to change the subject she had started. "Where's Fluttershy? Is she ok? Booze got to her?"

"She's... Uh..." Rarity hesitated, realising that she had forgotten to think of an excuse. "That is, the club is a bit..."

"Too many ponies around for Flutters, huh?" Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Was wondering when it would get to her!"

"Rainbow Dash, you meanie!" Pinkie Pie shot her an upset glance. "Fluttershy did her best tonight! It's not her fault that she's a scaredy cat around other ponies!" She threw one of the paper umbrellas at Rainbow with terrifying precision, the toothpick embedding itself in her mane. Somehow, the pegasus failed to notice.

"Yes, Rainbow Dash! Agoraphobia is not to be taken lightly! We must respect Fluttershy's need for privacy!" Despite being drunk, Twilight Sparkle apparently could not resist the temptation to lecture somepony.

"Still, Flutters showing up was more surprising than her leaving, y'know?" Rainbow Dash shrugged, seeming just a bit too amused by the whole situation. "Some things never change, huh, Rarity?"

"I... I g-guess..." the unicorn stammered. At once all the feelings she had been trying to push into the back of her mind exploded forward again. It took her severe willpower not to collapse into undignified wailing.

Rarity, she thought to herself, you monster...

Author's Note

Slightly delayed, but still good. It's still good.

In the next chapter: Pinkie Pie nearly suffocates after a successful attempt to fit a whole watermelon in her mouth.