The Equestrian Autist

by Mrluigifan102

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Human
Length: 2440

What would happen if I went to Equestria?

ergh…
I swear, those interdimentional trips get rougher every time! But I digress.
Let's see. What's next on the list…
*ahem* Greetings, puny humans! I'm here to…
Wait no, that's nr. 11, my bad. Let me start over.
Hello there! I'm back in my own dimension to recount my tale. Because I have nothing better to do with my life, even though I do.

Many thanks to P3RROHAMBRE for pre-reading.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-03 15:13:45 UTC

Prologue - A Strange Day

Hello to everyone who cares. My names is Marik, or at least that's what I was called when I still lived on earth and was still human. But I'm getting way ahead of myself. I just came back here to tell my tale, as I think it is worth telling. But before all that, a little about myself from the past.

I was just your average nerd living in an obscure village in Holland called Hoevelaken. I was (and still am) a fan of many things nerdy: Dr. Who, Ace Attorney, Kingdom Hearts, Pokemon, the list goes on.

But that which I loved above all others was My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic. I loved watching the show, I loved listening to the work of brony musicians, I loved looking at fan-art and he loved reading fan-fictions (yes, I even loved the grimdark and clopfics). My favorite pony was Rainbow Dash because she was everything I wanted to be. Which can be described in one word: self-confident, as my self-esteem was very low.

I admired people like Mic The Microphone and Poni1Kenobi for their creativity, of which I myself had very little. Thus, I mostly ended up ripping off others in a vain attempt to gain some popularity on the internet.

I was socially awkward as I have Asperger and am incredibly shy. Not as bad as Fluttershy, but bad enough to where I felt uncomfortable even talking to people I knew relatively well. Speaking of talking, my English is better than my Dutch, due to spending all of my free time on the internet. I only had one friend (who you can promptly forget about because he has nothing to do with this story), because I wasn’t very popular at school. Overall, I wasn’t someone you would be very interested in reading a story about. Untill...

One day on my way home from school I saw something very curious indeed. A blue box just standing on the side of a brick walkway I usually walked past. Above the door it said “POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX.” I, being a whovian I am, immediately recognized the box as the TARDIS, or Time And Relative Dimension In Space, or at the very least as a police telephone box from nineteen sixties London. But seeing as how this was in fact not London, and it most definitely wasn’t the nineteen sixties, I thought TARDIS before police telephone box. Needless to say, I was slightly surprised to find something from a fictional TV show just standing in some random alley.

I decided to do the most obvious thing I could think of and try to open the door. Which turned out to be unlocked. When I stepped inside my suspicion was confirmed, as I walked into the TARDIS console room. My jaw dropped through the floor in amazement. Of course I knew the TARDIS was bigger on the inside, but nothing can quite prepare you for how big it actually is. Let alone actually stepping inside.

The Doctor did not seem to be there at the moment. Why would he go away and leave the door unlocked?, was the first thing that came to my mind as I walked around the console room and investigated everything. It was the most recent console room they showed in the show, meaning I would meet either the eleventh or a later incarnation of The Doctor. I decided to wait for him as this kind of  thing would probably never happen again and I didn’t have anywhere to be in a hurry.

It didn’t take the Doctor long to show up.  “You know, you should really lock you-”. I cut myself off mid-sentence when I saw that the Doctor was limping. I quickly ran over to him and helped him over to the control panel. Without saying a word, The Doctor, seemingly at random, pushed buttons and pulled levers until the TARDIS took off.

Shortly after take off, the Doctor started glowing a faint yellow. I, realizing what was going on, stepped back just in time to avoid the beams of time energy shooting out of The Doctor’s body.

At this moment the TARDIS experienced some turbulance, like it was blown off course. I, having been caught off guard by this, stumbled forward and hit my head on the TARDIS console, which knocked me unconscious.

Author’s note: No ponies yet, but there will be in the first chapter.

Chapter 1 - Human-Pony-Timelord

When I came to, I found myself on the console room floor. I struggled to remember what had happened. When I remembered the Doctor regenerating, I got to my feet to look for him. Only to fall right back down again for some reason. “Well, well. I see you’re awake,” said a voice with a british accent. I turned my head towards the owner of the voice and found myself looking at a brown earth pony.

Of course I knew about the background pony called Doctor Hooves, but because I wasn’t fully awake yet I didn’t recognized the colt. “It seems that rift did quite a number on you,” the stallion remarked.

“What do you mean “did quite a number on you”?” I asked in confusion.

“You haven’t realized it yet, have you?” the colt asked slightly uncomfortably, “I’d better show you as you probably wouldn’t believe it if you’re merely told. Hang on!” He proceeded to push a large mirror in front of me.

What I saw was the most surprising thing that day (and that's saying something). Staring back at me was a blue-eyed, purple unicorn with a silver coloured mane and tail and a microphone with music notes for a cutie mark.

At first I was too stunned to talk or move. Then I slowly got to my fee- hooves and tried to touch this pony. Seeing the purple stallion do the same thing confirmed to me what my mind already knew; that I was, in fact, looking at my own reflection and that I was, in fact, a pony.

After an awkward silence, the brown pony was the first to speak. “O, how rude of me! I haven’t introduced myself yet. Where are my manners? Anyway, I’m T-”

“The Doctor. Yeah, I know,” I said in a perplexed voice. What followed was the most deafening silence I had ever heard in my life.

“What else do you know about me?” The Doctor inquired, finally breaking the silence.

“Well, I know that you’re a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey of the constellation of Kaster borous," Marik answered. "I know that you travel in time and space with this machine, called the TARDIS, which stands for Time and Relative Dimension in Space. I know that you can regenerate and have just done so. Am I correct in saying this is your twelfth body by the way? And, most importantly, that I love seeing you at a loss for words.” I, having meanwhile stood up surprisingly easily, left The Doctor (indeed) at a loss for words.

Did I forget to mention, by the way, that I keep very calm in situations in which most people would be panicking? Oh well, now you know. On with the story!

Again, The Doctor was the one to break the silence, “Well… I seem to be at a disadvantage here.”

“Oh yes, of couse. I haven’t introduced myself yet either,” came the answer from a now recomposed Marik, “The name’s Marik. Glad to meet you.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” The Doctor replied, having recomposed himself as well, “now I would just like to know, how do you know that much about me?”

“...Wait. You mean to tell me you don’t know? Millennia of time and space travel and you never once stumbled across it? Never once found someone who knows?” I said in disbelief.

“What are you talking about?” The Doctor expelled in confusion.

“What I’m talking about is Doctor Who. The TV show which has thousands upon thousands of fans! The TV show about YOU!”

“So that was the difference,” The Doctor mumbled to himself in response.

“Difference between what?” I inquired in confusion.

“Well, let’s just say that I didn’t fall through a hole in the time vortex to another universe just once today,” The Doctor answered nonchalantly.

“That would explain the lack of aliens in combination with your presence on my earth. With that said, I have just one question: why am I a unicorn?” I asked.

“That is a tad bit complicated. I believe you died in the jump between dimensions. That, in combination with you touching me mid-regeneration because of the turbulence, triggered a biological metacrisis. This, transferring the part of me that you needed most, gave you two hearts and the ability to regenerate, which you did. You are now the first human-timelord in existence. Well, technically second, but that was undone. I’m just happy it was a one-way biological metacrisis this time. No offence to humans but one human Doctor walking around is more than enough for me.”

“Welp, enough talking,” I said, cutting off the Doctor’s monologue, “Let’s see if I’m correct about what universe we landed in.”

“You mean you know?”

“Not for certain, but I have a strong hunch given our appearances.”

“Well let’s find out if you’re correct then!” The Doctor proclaimed as he opened the TARDIS door, the both of them having gotten used to walking on four hooves thanks to practicing while talking.

Author’s note: I’m sorry if I completely butchered regeneration and/or biological metacrises. I couldn’t think of any other way to turn Marik into a pony other than: “it’s magic!”

Chapter 2 - Good News And Bad News

As we stepped out of the TARDIS I took a look around. Seeing the half destroyed walls which were overgrown with vines, I felt confident in assuming we were in a ruin of some variety. Judging by the height of said walls and the stained glass windows, I also came to the conclusion that it was a ruin of a castle.

I noticed that the air was much cleaner than back on earth; another fact that got my hopes of this being Equestria up rather high. The other being the fact we were now ponies.

But getting back on topic; we seemed to have landed in the ruin of The Ancient Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, as a quick look around at the forest on all sides told me. Autists are generally very good at remembering or deducing things, but then have so much going through their heads that it's hard to convey it all to whomever it may need to be conveyed to. And thus, my trains of thought probably seem to go all over the place to someone else.

Which is why I probably forgot something in my initial introduction, come to think of it. I will try to explain everything about Autism and the like when it becomes relevant though. A little like this, in fact.

In any event, I turned to face The Doctor and noticed he was slowly walking around the TARDIS.

Trotting up to him I asked, "What's wrong?"

"It's not there anymore." How fitting; a very cryptic answer from a very cryptic individual.

"What isn't?"

"The TARDIS."

After pondering that for a few moments I realized what he meant; this was just like the episode Rise of the Cybermen, in which he, Mickey and Rose accidentally went to another universe. The TARDIS almost completely died back then; only hanging on through one little Artron power cell.

"What now?"

"We're stranded here."

You know how sometimes, in stories, a dramatic event is followed up by the statement that 'it felt like a block of lead fell into my stomach?' Yeah, forget block. It was like a mountain of lead fell into my stomach.

You see, autistic people have difficulty adapting to sudden changes. And, while I liked to think I was one of the ones who dealt with it the best, I got a little antsy at the prospect of being forced to spend the rest of my days in another dimension!

Still, I stayed optimistic. "I remember something similar to this happening on the show. Didn't you manage to get back with the use of some small part of the TARDIS that survived?"

"The chances of that happening once are slim already. Try it twice, and it becomes minimal."

'Well crap in a can... All right, let's consider the facts.' Yeah, I tend to do that every once in a while. I'm a freak, sue me! 'Stuck in an alternate dimension, as a weird, near immortal human-unicorn-timelord hybrid, in Equestria, with The Doctor... You know, thinking about it, this is really not that bad a situation to be in.' I also talk to myself in my thoughts. You think that's weird? I do it out loud when I'm alone. Just a heads up; This is going to happen often. Why, you ask? Because it helps me relax. Again. Freak. Sue me.

I'm going off-topic very often, aren't I? I'll try to stop that.

"Well, what now?" I said in a tone which (I think) was a little too cheery considering the situation, as I immediately got a questioning look from The Doctor.

Though he must have dismissed it almost instantly as he said, "I see very few options open to us; explore this way, or explore that way." All the while pointing two hooves in opposite directions, causing him to fall over. "Ow. Not used to being being quadruped yet, I guess."

"Feels a little awkward, doesn't it? Being used to walking on two legs for your entire life, and then suddenly having to walk on four."

"Well, sitting around here's not gonna help us with anything. I believe you mentioned you might know where exactly this is?"

"Why, yes. I do know where we are. We are in a place called Equestria, a land mostly populated by magical talking ponies... Did I seriously just say that?"

"Aha. I was wondering about our appearances; regeneration tends to gravitate to the dominant species in the local area, you see. But in any event, we should probably head for civilization. You seem to somehow know this place, so where to?"

"We should come across a little town if we go through the forest filled with Timberwolves, Manticores, sea-serpents and who knows what else in that direction." I pointed towards the entrance of the ruins and what I assumed was the direction Ponyville lay in.

And thus, we began our trek through the Everfree Forest.