How to Fic

by xMistyStarx

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Drama, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 3287

Kora Tries to write a fanfiction. Meanwhile, Cupcake and Angel try to discover the meaning of life. But as usual, nothing turns out they way it should. Or does it? Nah...

When you teach a zebra how to write fanfictions, you realize you make the worst mistake of your entire life.
Little Mini-Series based on my Oc group, hope you all enjoy!

Rated T: Not only is Luna about Dark Humor, She IS the dark humor.
Lots of fourth-wall breaks, refrences to YouTubers, Shows, Games
High levels of stupidity

Saddle CLub Members:
Cupcake: Wingless pegasus who is obsessed with food and cats
Angel: Siren-Pegasus hybrid who loves music and sunshine
Dart: Alicorn Deerpony who is reserved and loves long walks
Lilac: Valley-girl unicorn obsessed with art and makeup
Kora: Sciency zebra who loves breaking the laws of nature
Luna: Tribal Pegasus who loves music and the scent of roses
Neon: Part time member who works at Dance clubs with her coltfriend

Published 2017-12-19 01:50:05 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-22 05:28:18 UTC

Tales of Robot Rainbow-Unicorn-Dragon Hybrids

It was Saturday, and another peaceful, yet uneventful day in Ponyville. Birds were chirping, flowers were blooming, and everypony was in high spirits. Not a single cloud in the sky, and the streets were mostly cleared, a few ponies littered the streets and in the markets. Inside the Saddle Club Club, was Luna, reading her comic in the peacefulness and comfort of her chair. She sighed with content. Yep, everything is totally mellow.

"HI, LUNA!" Kora, a hyperactive zebra shreiked. Luna yelped in return, falling head-first out of her chair, comic flying to the floor with her. Either Luna was way underweight or the book had a mind of it's own. The comic hit carpet first. Luna, second. Face, meet floor. You'll get along nicely.

"DANG IT, KORA!"

Luna reluctantly pulled her muzzle out of the floor and moaned. She slowly craned her neck upwards, in an almost painful angle to face the culprit. She was slightly creeped out by the fact that she hadn't moved a single inch from the spot where she was less than a minute ago, but what was even more creepy was the fact that she was beaming even wider, ear to ear... literally.
"Uhh..." Luna mumbled, shaking the dizzyness out of her head. Kora blinked.

"Hi....?" Luna stuttered out. The zebra's creepy grin instantly vanished, as she put a hoof to her chin thoughtfully. She began to pace. A few minutes later, Luna was finally able to get over the shock and heave her body off the ground, and Kora stopped abruptly. She pulled out a notepad and pen, from seemingly nowhere, and began to scribble down some unknown monstosity soon to come.
"Bonzai!" She suddenly screeched thoughout a long, painful silence. "I've done it!"

"D-done what, do I dare inquire?" Luna deadpanned. She watched as her friend flung the notepad across the room, as if she couldn't have cared less. "You didn't somehow manage to bend the timeline, or discover another dimension that, for some oddly specific reason, to a world where there may or may not be an existence of ghostly creatures than take form of-"

"LUNA! Chill out! I'm not that bad!" Kora assured. Luna sighed with relief. "I'm just terrible!" She continued, ignoring the sound of the pegasus face planting into the coffee table.
"And you are going to be my test subject!" Luna swore something under her breath.

"So..... I'm going to drag you unwillingly into the office room-- you don't mind do you?"

"Uh, yes. Yes I do."

"WELL TOO BAD BECAUSE YOU ARE COMING WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!" Kora hollered, for some reason having taken out a rope from behind her back, and lassoing a very unimpressed Luna. She sighed.
"Cliche."

Kora grinned. "This is the part where you scream 'Noooo!' and I laugh evilly, and back into the darkness."

"But the hallway light is on-"

"Can you make something exciting for once, Luna? Geez!"

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

Angel and Cupcake leaned against each other, tapping wildly at the video game consoles, with convenietly large buttons.
"Can't belive.... Argh! We actually got- Erggg! The last pair!" Cupcake grunted, then flung the controller across the room, realizing she'd lost.

"Yep! Highly convenient, y'know? It's almost kinda strange...."

"Yeah! And to think nothing exciting happened until just now! Including this conversasion!" Cupcake finished. Angel nodded, then suspiciously narrowed her eyes.

"In fact..." She took a bite out of her donut."If I didn't know any better, I'd say that we really don't exist, that our world is just a confusing, cruel existence, unexplainable to even I, cannot determine!" She announced triumphantly. Cupcake nodded.

"Cool," The two, about to restart their game, heard the eerie sound of flesh and fur being dragged against the carpet out in the hall. The friends' heads jerked forwards, to the also conviniently placed door to the hall, that happened to tower before them.
"You know, I don't remember the door being placed that way-"

"Guys? Uh, help?!" Luna squeaked, her back now bruising from rubbing against the carpet. Angel winced at that, and turned to Cupcake who shrugged. Kora stopped, grinned and waved, and continued her journey to the other room. The two exchanged glances.

"Oh my gosh, Angel, you were right!" Cupcake whispered, the other two now vanished down the halls. Angel smiled, and folded her hooves pridefully.

"Ya see? Science doesn't need to exist anymore, since nothing ever makes logical sense! You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Uh... Donuts?"

"No! That we could sue all of our teachers for this! As in: No more school? Oh-ho, yes! Sweet revenge! Oh, Science is gonna get it good this time!" Angel muttered, rubbing her hooves together evilly. Cupcake grinned at the half-siren's anticts and looked down. To her distress, the donut there a few seconds ago was no more than a few colorful crumbs.

"So.... No donut?" Cupcake whined, her big blue eyes sparkling with unexplainable adorableness. Angel giggled.

"Wanna get some smoothies from StarBits unwarranted on the use of Dart's credit card?"

"Sure!"

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O00O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O00O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O00O0O0O

"We're here." Kora announced, releasing her captive friend. "And now, we shall BEGIN!" The lights dramatically flickered on.

Luna rolled her eyes. "So this is how it feels to be bound up in an unconvinient situation." From somewhere, a rimshot was heard. This seemed to be unheard by the zebra.
"Wait..."

"So, are you ready to begin? Of course, I'll have to make this a bit more dramatic..."

"I sware I heard a...."

"....and the sound machine could go there.... so the audience could hear-"

"Wait, what audi-"

"No... they can't hear anything anyway, this is just a confusing and supposedly cruel exista- Oh, how should I know? I'm reading a non-existant script for Gosh sake!" Kora threw up her hooves in frustration and grunted. She flung her body onto the bed and screamed into a pillow.

"Uh... Kora, you forgot to untie my legs...."

"Okay! New plan! Forget the script! Forget the story board! Kill the Manticores- or you know, just throw them somewhere, because I'm just going freestyle from here! Steve, get lost! Nobody likes you!" A unicorn stallion hung his head and trotted off into the unknown.

"Uh, Kora?"

"Yessssss, Luna?"

"Why are you such an unexplainable monstrosity?"

"Why do I always manage to get you triggered, hmm?" Kora grinned mischeviously. Luna groaned.

"Look, let's just get this torchure over with, okay?" Kora nodded, tugging off the ropes that wrapped messily around the other mare's forelegs, and allowed her face to come into contact with the unwelcoming floor once again.

"Let's... get this over with," Luna said cautiously. Strangely, Kora simply nodded, and fetched her laptop from a nearby desk in her room's office. After fiddling with it and logging into it with her peculiarly long passcode, she closed the small computer, and returned with it, in her jaws, like an engergetic puppy.

Noticing this, Luna sighed, unimpressed once more. "Kora... just how dumb are you?" Kora spat out the technology, covered in saliva. "Um... is this a trick question?" Luna face-hoofed.

After logging in and messing with the internet again, after several minutes finally passed, Kora found her fiasco.
"BONZAI!" Luna was unfazed.

"UREKA!" She sat there, face in her hooves.

"TALLY HO!" Luna made out a sound that sounded like a stepped on puppy.

"Oh Celestia, kill me...." Luna muttered miserably. Kora turned the screen to the distressed pegasus. She barely looked up, but noticing something was horribly wrong.
"It's... oh no..."

"YEP! It's Fimfiction.net!" Kora cheered, bouncing up and down. Luna shut her eyes and shook her head, then reopened them. She repeated this several times, then gave up, and eventually began to try pinch herself, which was unfortunate, since she had a lack of fingers.

Luna's eyes were saucers, and her neck craned forwards to read the screen.

TALES OF STORM, THE ROBOT RAINBOW-UNICORN-DRAGON HYBRID: SERIES ONE- THE PROPHECY BEGINS

Kora beamed brightly. "It's only the first 37,986 worded part of my series, but I'm planning on writing, oh I dunno, about 4 more series on this before Valentines next year. A lotta humans must have liked it, since the red bar thingy is almost all the way to the end! Maybe it could become a Best-Seller!" she then frowned. "...but of course, if I do want to sell this, I'd have to pay for Illustations and credits... oh, and eventually abandon them when I become world famous..."

Luna weakly smiled. The chuckled quietly. Then she began to laugh, really loud, like some drunk person who'd just experienced the unknown, that was Kora. Her head bobbed uncontrollably, and even this had Kora freaked out a bit.

After a few uncountable minutes, the laughter died down, and Luna smiled evenly to her friend.
"You got a water?" Kora furrowed her non-existant eyebrows, and took a glass of water from behind her back. Luna smiled.
"Thanks, friend." Then poured the entire glass onto the computer. It shorted out, so Luna desperately grasped the computer and pound her face with it, as it shocked her, and eventually passed out, tumbling onto the floor, leaving a smoking laptop on the bed with the dumbstruck mare.

"Oh my Gosh...." Kora pressed her hooves to both cheeks.

She stared down at the pegasus who was laying limply on the floor, with a broken glass cup resting on her chest. Her hindleg twitched in her unconsciousness. Kora's mouth created the perfect impersonation of a fish.

"Luna just committed suicide!"

TO BE CONTINUED....

"Now that's what I call suspence!" Kora said, to the fourth wall.

Author's Note

Kora: Be sure to like, reply, and follow! Peace out! Oh, and the next chapter should be out real soon! :pinkiehappy:

The Torment Begins

That Night...

"Ughh... What hit me?" Luna groaned. Her eyes darted around cautiously, and hesitantly stumbled onto all fours. The room was dark and creepy, owls hooting merrily outside the window. That's when it hit her. "The laptop, duh!" Luna smacked her forehead.

The shards of glass were gone, so obviously Kora had swept it up, and later, went to bed. Went to bed... Right? Of course, she is! If she was awake she'd be torturing me by now! Luna shook her head, and peeked over the bedsheets, where Kora, Neon, and Lilac slept. She smirked slyly.

Quietly fluttering out of the room, not to awaken the insane zebra who had practically shattered her chance of a peaceful Saturday. Maybe... Maybe she could still enjoy it? It was eleven thirty now, which meant the girls had gone to bed about a half hour ago. Luna took a quick glance at the sleeping trio.

And just for safe measures, she placed a pair of poofy earmuffs on Korea's head. Perfect.

"I'm bored playing Undertale! We played this six times this month already!" Cupcake whined. Angel folded her arms.

"I'm done playing Minecraft, we spent four and a half hours on this today!" Cupcake narrowed her eyes.

"Oh yeah? Well, who needs RPG these days anyway? We're in the future!" She continued, earning a glance from Angel.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Angel questioned, then her expression brightened when Cupcake waggled a pair of VR Glasses with a pink hoof. Angel beamed with delight, and quickly snatched one.

Before they knew it, they were roaming the house with holographic visors.
"Woah... Its so..... real-ish!" Cupcake said, in a gasp.

"Realistic," Angel corrected, and Cupcake rolled her eyes and continued. "But yeah, it really looks like we're in Futuristic Space 2!"

"Yeah, kinda obvious, doncha think? WAIT A SECOND," Angel narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Cupcake knew that look, and sighed with defeat, slinging the glasses off her, across her chest and shoulder on a sash.

"Uh oh, what Mind-Rattling Theory have you discovered today?" The wingless Pegasus deadpanned. Ignoring this, Angel groaned.

"Don't you see? Something is obviously terribly wrong here!" She waved her hooves in many unusual angles like someone who'd gone mad, to emphasize her statement. Cupcake widened her eyes.

"Oh no," she gasped, covering her eyes with both hooves."Did we damage the fourth wall again?"

"No! Even worse!" Cupcake uncovered her eyes, and annoyingly shut them.

"VR glasses don't come out until years later! And, In a way, Yes, this is another fourth wall smash, but..." She trailed off, then shook her head wildly. "Do you know what time period your in?!" Angel yelled, the mare still in her state of shut eyes and stone-still body placement. Angel slapped herself.

"Cupcake, were you listening-" she popped her eyes open.

"Sorry, I-I couldn't hear you, my eyes were c!osed," she heard the sound of a slap somewhere nearby. "...but honestly, do we actually live in a time period? Like c'mon, Angie, The amount of times i've seen Iphones here is uncountable! And I blame you." Angel sighed lowly at this and gave a weak smile.

"You're right, Cake," she placed her visors back on. "Let's just enjoy it while we have it!" With that, Angel took to the air and dashed downstairs.

"That's not what I meant at all!" Cupcake called.

"Get down here! Or I'll have the milkshakes myself!"

....

"Touch one drink down there, and you are dead!"

O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O0O

Luna, sitting on the couch In the living room, smiled with pride. She'd actually outsmarted Kora. Some old movie was playing, while she read her third crossover comic that night. Peering over the couch handles, she glanced at the clock. 1:34 (A/N That's what time it was while writing this...) Luna gasped lightly at the time, and simply shut her comic book,not thinking to leave a book mark, or any mark, on that matter.

Crawling groggily off the couch, she tumbled off suddenly, after hearing a slap echo in the upstairs hall. Rolling her eyes, she decided to get a cup of coffee. Weakly standing on all fours, she trotted to the kitchen, where she found a little pink not with a red heart placing lovingly at the top right corner, the center, a welcoming "Open Me! ;3" on the front.

Opening the tiny card reluctantly, another note fell out-no- a tiny piece of paper. On it was written the foulest of words, which made the pegasus flinch, and throw the offending note into the soapy sink next to her now brewing coffee.

'GOTCHA!'

And on it was an evil looking smiley face.

"Oh sh--" Luna paused. "Right. No profanity..." She muttered, to no one in particular.

"AH, SHOOT, KORA!"

"woah, did you just threaten to kill Kora?" A voice lamely questioned behind her. Grabbing the nearest sharp object she could find, without following the "think first, act last" rule, Luna flung the object to the mare behind her.

Lilac lit up her horn, and held a magical shield to block the fork from going any further. She leaned against the counter and eventually let the object unfreeze from it's possision, flying strait into the wall to leave a dent of four small holes. Luna shuffled her hooves uncomfortably.

"Uhm... Whoops?" She tried. Lilac let down the shield and snickered quality quietly.

"Its seriously fine. I kinda saw that coming, you aren't the most thoughtful pony I've met..." Lilac mused, and Luna huffed.

Taking a glance towards the clock again, it read 1:50. She was beginning to feel slightly dizzy, despite the scent of hot coffee, or the Cocoa Lilac was sipping on constantly. Shaking her head viciously, she reached for a mug in the cabinet.
"Not going to sleep tonight?" Lilac pondered aloud. Luna barely heard her thought.

"Huh? Uh, I didn't plan to-- I was passed out in Tartarus for about... Mmh... Several hours. Not really exhausted..." Luna muttered, wiping out the brim of the cup with a kitchen towel.

"You passed out? Again?" Lilac raised her voice level just a bit. Enough to send her friend on the edge.

"U-uh, what did-- I mean why... A-a-again?" She nearly let the object in her hooves drop, while loosing her balance of her body leaning against the counter. Fortunately for her, she somehow managed to see this coming, and lunged for the glass object. Quickly picking herself up, she poorly hid the look of embarrassment on her face.

"Duh! You think we didn't know about-"

"It's n-not what you think-"

"...when you fainted a few months ago-"

"That w-wasnt my computer-"

"...that virus you told us about-"

"I m-meant to be on something else-"

"...was really because you'd been watching animal po-"

"OKAY, MOVING ON!" Luna screamed, shoving her hoof into the unicorns mouth. She then noted something.

"Wait, why didn't you use your magic to stop me...?" She asked lightly, wiping saliva off her hoof. It ended up somewhere in the kitchen, seeming as Luna simply flashed her hoof wildly to get the wetness off her. It left a tingly and chill feel to her fur that she did not, in anyway, like.

"Huh... I dunno, its not technically in the script..." A stack of papers popped into then air, in her aura, as she flipped crazily through them. Luna cocked her head.
"Riiight... Well I'm gonna go have some coffee and watch Cartoon Ne-"

Another slap sounded from upstairs, this time, more... Painful. Luna winced. Then someone yelped from upstairs.

AUGH!

"Geez, what the hay is going on up there?" Luna slowly turned to notice a huge smug grin on Lilac's lavender face. She shoved her several inches back.
"Uh... Ew! Don't you even dare think like that!"

"Who said I was thinking dirty, hmm?"

"YOU JUST DID." Luna proved her point by motioning to thin air with both forelegs, eyes saucer wide with annoyance. Silence soon followed, as Luna grabbed her mug and sat with her unicorn friend, in silence. Angel speedily flew down, some type of goggles placed on her eyes.

"Hey girls!" She waved, her glowing red eyes somehow managed to escape through the cracks of light that didn't quite fit her face. Taking off the contraption, she covered her nose.

"Agh, do you mind, Luna? You're attitude stinks!" She looked on the verge of throwing up.

"I told you. Stop taking pills to reject your obsession of pony-emotions. You're gonna get sick. Sirens need that energy every now and then," Luna commented, watching the Pegasus' face turn green.

"... was... Neon's idea..." She murmured though her hooves, covering her mouth. After swallowing whatever she'd choked up, Angle shuddered, and landed in a chair at the table. Cupcake began to dash downstairs, stopping when she noticed something was on the T.V.
"But you're right, I need to... Stop. I absolutely hate it. I feel hungry and sick at them same time... My mind is telling me to flee but..." She let her tongue unwillingly loll out of her mouth. "Something is telling me... Otherwise..." She whispered, staring dreamily at the stiff pegasus, who quickly put down her coffee.
"Yeah... Uh...." Luna noticed the red waves of energy emminating off her own body. Of course, duh! I just have to stop thinking negative... Uh...
"Quick... Uh-- LILAC, TELL ME A JOKE!"

"You're life." Lilac said in monotone. Luna groaned, the energy coming in increased amounts.

"Real original," she sighed, as Angel fluttered over to her, silently.

"Angel, what are you..." She trailed off as the half-siren's eyes sparkled.

"Just. Once-" Luna squeaked, felling a sloppy and wet thing slip across her cheek. She flinched, and pulled her bangs over the wet spot on her face. She looked over to Angel who landed on all fours, and stared at her thankfully, as Cupcake blasted into the kitchen for something, urgently.

"Well... This is awkward." She held up her steaming mug."Uh... Want some?"