Fifty Shades Of Hay
Applejack trotted into the boardroom to begin her interview with Mr Rich. Mr Rich, or Filthy as he was known to his non existent friends, was sat behind a desk reviewing the profit margins of the deceptively named Barnyard Bargains. “Ah, Miss Applejack!” he said, acknowledging the orange pony. “So glad that you could join us.”
“Uhm, Mr Rich, there's only me and you here.”
“It's a phrase.”
“Ah, okay, ah get yer.”
Applejack went and sat down in front of Filthy Rich, on a seat. Filthy produced some paperwork and briefly scanned over it. He then put it down.
“So, you work on a farm Applejack.”
“Ah sure do.”
“So I imagine you must know a lot about hay then.”
“Yessir. Ah know all about hay, where it comes from, what color it is, what it's used for. There ain't nuttin' ah don't know 'bout hay.”
“Good, good.” Filthy wandered over to the window. “Come over here, Applejack.” Applejack did as she was told and went over to the window. Out of the window were fields and fields of hay. “You see Applejack, I have a lot of hay. Fifty fields of the stuff in fact. Now, what would you say about the hay in that field?” Filthy motioned his hoof towards a field of hay.
“It's yellow.”
“Right, now what about in that field?”
“It's less yellow.”
“And in this field?”
“It's more yellow than the first one.”
“And this one?”
“It's pretty brown if yer ask me.”
“And here?”
“It's less brown than the last one, but it's still brown.”
“And over here?”
“That's yellow again.”
“Right, now what about in that field?”
“It's less yellow.”
“And in this field?”
“It's more yellow than the first one.”
“And this one?”
“It's pretty brown if yer ask me.”
“And here?”
“It's less brown than the last one, but it's still brown.”
“And over here?”
“That's yellow again.”“Right, now what about in that field?”
“It's less yellow.”
“And in this field?”
“It's more yellow than the first one.”
“And this one?”
“It's pretty brown if yer ask me.”
“And here?”
“It's less brown than the last one, but it's still brown.”
“And over here?”
“That's yellow again.”“Right, now what about in that field?”
“It's less yellow.”
“And in this field?”
“It's more yellow than the first one.”
“And this one?”
“It's pretty brown if yer ask me.”
“And here?”
“It's less brown than the last one, but it's still brown.”
“And over here?”
“That's yellow again.”“Right, now what about in that field?”
“It's less yellow.”
“And in this field?”
“It's more yellow than the first one.”
“And this one?”
“It's pretty brown if yer ask me.”
“And here?”
“It's less brown than the last one, but it's still brown.”
“And over here?”
“That's yellow again.”“Right, now what about in that field?”
“It's less yellow.”
“And in this field?”
“It's more yellow than the first one.”
“And this one?”
“It's pretty brown if yer ask me.”
“And here?”
“It's less brown than the last one, but it's still brown.”
“And over here?”
“That's yellow again.”“Right, now what about in that field?”
“It's less yellow.”
“And in this field?”
“It's more yellow than the first one.”
“And this one?”
“It's pretty brown if yer ask me.”
“And here?”
“It's less brown than the last one, but it's still brown.”
“And over here?”
“That's yellow again.”“Right, now what about in that field?”
“It's less yellow.”
“And in this field?”
“It's more yellow than the first one.”
“And this one?”
“It's pretty brown if yer ask me.”
“And here?”
“It's less brown than the last one, but it's still brown.”
“And over here?”
“That's yellow again.”“Right, now what about in that field?”
“It's less yellow.”
“And in this field?”
“It's more yellow than the first one.”
“And this one?”
“It's pretty brown if yer ask me.”
“And here?”
“It's less brown than the last one, but it's still brown.”
“And over here?”
“That's yellow again.”“Right, now what about in that field?”
“It's less yellow.”
“And in this field?”
“It's more yellow than the first one.”
“And this one?”
“It's pretty brown if yer ask me.”
“And here?”
“It's less brown than the last one, but it's still brown.”
“And over here?”
“That's a wall”
“Oh, so it is. My bad.”
“That's okay, ah sometimes get walls an' hay confused too.”
“Right, well. So what we've established then, is that I have fifty shades of hay.” Filthy walked away from the window and wrote this down.
“Uhm, Mr Rich.”
“Yes Applejack?”
“Ah have an almighty erection.”
THANK YOU FOR READING MY FANFICTION. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT.
LOVE FROM MICHAEL.
IF YOU REALLY ENJOYED THIS STORY, BUY THE ACTION FIGURES. THEY'RE AVAILABLE AT YOUR LOCAL ASDA. I THINK. I CAN'T QUITE REMEMBER. BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT WAS ASDA. IT MIGHT'VE BEEN TESCO THOUGH.
ALSO, BUY THE TRADING CARDS. THEY'RE REALLY AWESOME. KIND OF. THERE ARE SEVEN CARDS TO COLLECT. SEVEN. SEVEN! THAT'S MORE THAN SIX. IT'S SEVEN. SEVEN WHOLE CARDS. ALSO, FIFTY SHADES OF HAY DOES IN FACT FIT IN MOST DOMESTIC TOASTERS. FOR MORE INFORMATION, AND TO CHECK WHETHER YOUR TOASTER IS COMPATIBLE, PLEASE VISIT WWW.FIFTYSHADESOFTOAST.CO.EQ OR VISIT YOUR LOCAL VODAFONE STORE.
MOST IMPORTANTLY I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS FOR GIVING ME THE CONFIDENCE TO WRITE THIS STORY BECAUSE I WAS NOT VERY CONFIDENT BEFORE THEY GAVE ME THE CONFIDENCE.
ALSO OPEN OFFICE SAID THIS WAS 1011 WORDS, BUT IT IS NOT ENOUGH WORDS SO I HAVE TO ADD MORE WORDS TO MAKE IT SO THE WORDS ARE MORE AND THEN IT WILL NOT BE NOT ENOUGH WORDS AND THEN THE WORDS ARE GOING TO BE IN HERE AND THAT IS OKAY BECAUSE I NEEDED THE WORDS TO BE ENOUGH OR THEN I WOULD NOT ENOUGH THE WORDS FOR THE WORDS TO BE ENOUGH WORDS
ALSO THANK YOU AGAIN, LOVE FROM ME, MICHAEL.
OKAY THEN
