Dashieby Locoattack1ChaptersNew FriendsIndiana JonesDay 2SmokesNew FriendsBefore we begin, let me introduce myself. My name is Max Walker. I’m 18 years old and I just moved out of my parent’s house and into an apartment last month. School just let out for the Summer and I had a whole three months of total freedom to do whatever I wanted. For me, that mostly boiled down to making house music, playing video games, and watching My Little Pony. Yeah, you read that right; I’m a brony. I’ve been bullied a little about it, but not enough to really affect me too bad. What many people, and even some bronies, find weird is that I actually consider these ponies more attractive than humans in some ways. I’ve never considered myself a furry, but I guess I just need to face the facts. My favorite pony since becoming a brony six months ago in October of 2011 has been Rainbow Dash. I’ve always found her the most beautiful, adorable, and awesome pony out any of them. The way her mane flows, the way she talks, and her habit of sticking up for her friends are just a few things about her that I love. I’ve always considered her to be a straight pony, despite the great debate originating from her prismatic mane and tomboyish attitude. Anyways, enough about me, let’s get on with the story. -June 28, 2012- -Michigan- -8:00 pm- “Yeah mom, I’ve done some investing and I’m covered for a few weeks.” I tell my mother over the phone, “Pretty great, huh? I knew that company would go up in a few days. Well, I’ll see you later…bye.” I hang up the phone, still happy that my investment had gone over so well. I am so giddy, in fact, that I nearly start hopping around in joy. The only thing that really stops me from literally jumping up and down with joy was the fact that I’m driving my car. I mean, it was a totally blind investment. I don’t even remember the name of the damn company! In fact, the only thing I remember was buying 50 shares at fifty cents a share. The next thing I knew, each share was worth $333! Do the math, that’s over $15000 total! Now, I know it probably wasn’t the brightest thing to do, but I quit my part time job over this. Yeah, it was pretty stupid, actually. Never mind that, however! Now, back to the story! I pull into my local Gamestop, ready to pick up a copy of Battlefield 3 for my Xbox. Why in the hell didn’t get this when it came out. Oh yeah, that’s right: I got addicted to Ponies. I park my car in front of the building, making sure to lock the doors before I exit the vehicle. Once inside the building, I am greeted by a large statue of Skyrim’s Dovahkinn, albeit with a missing sword. Heh, what are those crazy-ass thieves gonna do with a plastic sword? Idiots… Before long, I locate a copy of BF3 and start towards the cashier; a strongly-built man in his late teens or early twenties, who seems to be staring at me. Weird… I placed the game in front of the cashier, who snapped out of his staring and began to ring up the price. I guess I could play for a while with my friends before I get to work on my next song… Why are you even making music, man? It’s not like you’re actually gonna get famous. Shut up brain, I can dream! “Yo! Buddy!” I was snapped out of my thoughts by the cashier, who had begun to snap his fingers in my face, “You okay?” “Yeah, yeah.” I sigh, taking the bag he had placed on the counter, “I kinda snapped out of it there, sorry.” “No biggie, but hey, I couldn’t help but notice your shirt.” He looked down at my t-shirt, which was emblazoned with an image that was a ponified take on Tiesto’s bird logo; with an image of Dash in place of the bird. “You caught that, huh?” I chuckled a tad, nobody had noticed the pony in my shirt before, except for other bronies, “You a brony?” “Yeah; Lyra for life, man.” I chuckle a tad at this response, “I would totally hit that, like, any day of the week.” “So you clop?” I ask this question as soon as he begins about ‘hitting that’. “Hell yeah, all the time.” He answered, causing me to chuckle. I myself do clop, but I’m not as open about it as this man is. “So, your name is…?” He begins to inquire. “Max, Max Walker.” I announce, “At you service, madam.” “Very funny…” He rolls his eyes as I chortled a bit, “I’m Jack Bolton, by the way. Maybe we should trade numbers, I’d like to hook up sometime.” We trade phone numbers and wave goodbye to each other as I walk out the door. What a crazy motherfucker! I unlock my car door and get in, setting the bag down in the passenger seat. Once I am buckled up, I drive the car out of the parking lot. A few minutes later, I pull into the local park drive, which is the fastest way to get back to my apartment. Oh man, I’m so psyched to finally play this goddamn game! I hope this was worth the money! Suddenly, a strange multicolored streak shoots out from one of the clouds, causing my eyes to widen in shock. Rainbows…at night? What the hell!?! Taking a closer look, I pull over to the side of the road and exit the car, stepping out to focus on the scene before me. The streak appears to have a rainbow-colored trail following it, as well as a light blue tint, as it descends from the clouds and towards...me. Oh shit… I quickly begin to bolt out of the way of the rainbow missile, which looks as if it’s about to crash right into me. As the object gets closer and closer, I start freaking out big time. “Oh shit I’m gonna die!!!!” I Yell, scared out of my mind. I look back once more to gauge how close the object was to me, only to see that it is literally no more than thirty feet away and closing fast. Acting quickly, I duck and safely avoid collision with the mysterious projectile. Whew! That was close! I start to rub sweat off of my brow, realizing how close that…thing had come to ending my life. Wait, what was that thing anyways? I’ve never seen anything like that… Looking behind me, I check to see what had happened to the object. A trail of small-scale destruction lasts for about thirty feet and ends at a tiny crater. Inside the crater, I see something unbelievable; Rainbow Dash is curled up in a ball inside the crater. No…no way…she can’t be real… I move closer to the mare, unsure of my movements. I have never been this close to my dreams before, and the last thing that I want to do is screw it up big time. She seems to be the real deal, though I have yet to actually get near her. Well, better now than never. I sigh as I approach the motionless pony lying in the center of the crater. She looks awful; her right wing bent at an awkward angle and scrapes covering her body. Wait a minute, is she…dead? The very possibility of this shocks me into moving much faster. She can’t be dead, nononono! I rush to her side, forgetting about not scaring her and all of that stuff that I was concerned with. Putting my fingers to her neck, I sigh in relief as I feel a pulse. Well, at least she’s not dead, but she’s still pretty screwed up…I’d better bring her home with me. Wrapping my arms around the still-warm mare, I pick her up gently. Surprisingly, she weighs no more than fifty or sixty pounds, while being roughly one meter from hoof to ear (on all fours). Holding he close, I cannot believe how soft her fur is. Wait a minute, dude. You need to get her back to home. I rush once more and hurry the pony into my car, opting to set her in my lap. Omigosh she is so adorable…I can feel her taking tiny little breaths. Although my internal fangasms are slowing me down a fair bit, I eventually arrive at my apartment by 10:00, later than I would’ve liked. I can’t let my neighbors see this, and I live on the fifth floor! Just pretend she’s a plush Hey, good idea, brain! Grabbing Dashie from my lap, I start towards the door of my apartment, cradling the injured mare in my lap. Once in the door, I start for the elevator, which is still at my story. Sweet! No waiting this time bitches! I get in the elevator, only to discover that it is already occupied by my neighbor; Brian. Brian is a man of around 30 who is vaguely aware of the brony fad, but has no idea that I’m a member. We’re pretty good friends, but you should see the look on his face when he sees Dashie. “Whoa! What the hell is that?!” Brian yells in shock as I set the elevator to go to the fifth floor, “Is that some kind of alien?” “What? No!” I quickly lie to my friend about the origin of the creature I’m holding, “It’s a plushie I bough along the way home. Expensive piece of work, too; paid around a hundred dollars for this. “What IS it?” He asks, still staring at the doll. “It’s a Rainbow Dash plush.” I explain nonchalantly, “She’s a character in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which is actually a pretty damn good show.” “My Little Pony, really man?” He chuckles, “Whatever, if you like it, then who am I to say otherwise. Just don’t try and pull me into this.” “I won’t, promise.” I grin as the elevator ascends to the fifth floor. With a satisfying ding, the door opens and I am within thirty feet of my apartment. “Well, see ya.” I quickly say my farewells to Brian, rushing towards my door with the mare still passed out in my arms. This should be an interesting night… To all those interested, I actually do make house music. Indiana JonesSorry for the wait, guys. I've been playing TF2 way too much and I'm still saving up 2.66 ref to get a key. “Snug as a bug in a rug!” I say, proud of my work. Rainbow Dash lay in my bed, still passed out, with a blanket over her little body. Daww… I can see that she is still breathing and I’m willing to bet that she’ll wake up at any second. She’ll probably be out of it for a few seconds…I hope… Her wings are wrapped to her body with some gauze I found in my first aid kit. I think I folded them up right, but I really don’t know. All I know is that she got hurt pretty badly in the crash; both wings broken and a lot of scrapes I had to treat on her torso and hooves. Suddenly, the body starts to move, startling me and causing my heartbeat to increase tenfold. The little mare groans in pain as she attempts to lift her hooves. “Ugh, what’s going on…” She moans, obviously very tired, “Why do I hurt so…Wait a minute, that spell must’ve backfired, ughnn. Where am I? Twi, are you there?” “Um, hello.” I manage to say, causing the mare to jump a little, though her eyes stay closed, “You crashed near me on the side of the road, messed yourself up a bit. I brought you home and patched you up as much as I could.” “Who are you?” She asks, trying to sound brave, “If you did…Wait, you said that my wings were messed up…” “Y-Yeah, they’re pretty much broken…” I say, stuttering in fear of what she’d do to the messanger of such news, “I patched them up as good as I could, though…” “Broken…” I see tears leak through her closed eyelids as she sobs, “I can’t believe this, why didn’t you just take me to a hospital!?! You think you can do a better job than a doctor?” “I, uhh…” I stutter nervously, “We don’t have any hospitals around here…so-“ “Yeah right!” Rainbow interjects, “Don’t try and fool me, bub! I know that I couldn’t have flown too far from Ponyville…right?” “…” I stand there in silence, hoping that she’ll absorb what she just said. “R-Right?” This time she sounds much more nervous, “I mean, h-how far could I have gotten?” “Pretty damn far.” I simply state, “There’s some serious stuff I need to tell you, but you need to stay calm, okay?” “O-Okay…” The sky blue Pegasus answers nervously. “First off; you ain’t in Equestria anymore.” I tell her, “Secondly; I’m not a pony, dragon, or anything you’ve ever seen. Third; I am not, I repeat, am NOT going to hurt you under any circumstance.” “Where am I? What are you?” She starts freaking out, her eyes peeling open wide. At first, all she sees is the wall directly in front of her, but once she turns her head in my direction, her eyes pop out of their sockets. “W-What the hay…” The mare quietly says, “W-What in Equestria are you?” “A human, to put it simply.” I explain, “And you are no longer in Equestria, you’re on Earth…Home planet of the humans.” “How? Why? Twilight!” She suddenly exclaims, “I knew her stupid spell did something to me…” The blue mare begins to sob quietly, burying her head in the pillow. I feel awful just watching her, so I attempt to comfort her b putting my hand on her shoulder, which doesn’t exactly fly well with her as she shrugs off my hand. “Watch it, bub.” The distraught mare tells me, “I might be all bandaged up, but I can still kick your flank any day of the week! Keep your weird claws to yourself!” “Sorry…” I say apologetically, feeling hurt by her comment, “I’m gonna go into the living room. If you need anything, just tell me.” Before she gets the chance to respond, I exit the room and enter my living room. Well, you just got insulted by a mare that matters a hell of a lot to you. Only one thing to do now; fucking house music. I walk over to my laptop, plug in my Audio Technica headphones, and go to my music library. Once in my library, I hit shuffle and play. The first song that comes on is Bingo Players – L’amour. “Fucking shit right here.” I grin, letting the song take away all my worries, “Hell yeah!” I listen to the song for a solid three minutes, the loud and heavy bass drowning out any thoughts or regrets I may have had. Music is my drug, to put it quickly. Suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder, quickly making me spin around in shock. What I see is a annoyed-looking cyan mare. I take off my headphones and give an unsure chuckle. “I’ve been calling you for at least a minute, what’s the hold up?” She huffs at me. “Sorry, just drowning my sorrow with loud music.” I explain, frowning. “Heh, sorry about that…I was pretty mean…” The mare now looks quite sorry for what she had said earlier, “Friends?” She extends her hoof, wearing a large smile on her face. “Friends!” I extend my hand and wrap it around her hoof, shaking it. “So, you said you were listening to loud music…” She begins, an excited smile coming onto her face, “Is it like rock and roll? I could jam to that stuff all day!” “Nah, more electronic.” I explain, pulling out my headphones, “You wanna listen?” “Sure!” She answers, looking quite happy. “This one’s called L’Amour, it’s pretty kickass.” I say, excited to show my favorite pony some of my favorite music. I start the song at 37 seconds in, to avoid the build that may bore Rainbow. She site through the entirety of the lead, then the rise begins. When the drop hit, it hits hard, making Dash bob her head to the track. “This is crazy!” The mare yells, “I love it!” We sit through the rest of the track in silence, enjoying the sounds and structure of a great electro house jam. When the track finishes up, I press pause on my playlist and step away from the computer. “Hey, what gives?” She asks, upset that the music had stopped, “What are you doing?” “Making some soup like a soup boss.” I explain, walking over to my tiny-as-fuck pantry, “Got some good soups cookin’ here; got some chi- I mean tomato soup.” “Okay, I guess I am a little hungry.” She says, following me into the kitchen, “By the way, how did you know anything about Equestria?” “I- ummm…” I stumble on my words, unsure of what to say, “Ugh, it’s a long story.” “I’ve got time…”She says, making me all the more nervous. “Fine, I’ll tell you while we eat.” I say, giving in to her demand, “You want bread with the soup?” “Sure, why not?” The mare answers. -10 minutes later- I take a seat at my table, the bowl of cereal I had poured myself making me hungry. Dash had already started eating her soup and she seems to be enjoying it. I take my first bite and savor the taste in my mouth. I hadn’t eaten for at least four or five hours, so I am pretty hungry by now. “So, are you gonna tell me about how you know about Equestria?” The mare asks me. “Ugh, fine…” I sigh, setting down my spoon, “Do you have movies where you’re from?” “Yeah, we have movies, why?” “Well, in my world, you and your world are merely elements of a TV series.” This garners a confused look from the blue daredevil, “Think a movie, but with more plot elements. It’s also broken up into a ton of 30 minute episodes which are aired once a week. It’s called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.” “Wait…So in your world, I’m not real?” She asks, her eyes widening. “No, but I always believed you were out there somewhere.” I smile and look her in the eyes, “It looks like I was right.” “I’m just a fake character…” The mare starts to look rather downtrodden, “Not real…” “You’re real to me.” I say in a serious tone, “If you weren’t real, how are you talking to me right now.” “Maybe you’re right.” The sky blue Pegasus says, starting to smile again, “So, what did I do in the show?” “You were a bearer of one of the elements of harmony; loyalty.” I explain, “Then Applejack was honesty, Pinkie Pie was laughter, Rarity was generosity, Twilight was magic, and Fluttershy was kindness. The show followed the activities and adventures you and your friends had and I loved it. You were easily the coolest pony on the show, though.” “Thanks…” She blushes at the compliment, “And thanks for clearing that up. I thought you were a spy for a second there.” “No, I think not.” I chuckle a bit at this, “So, what do you want to do once we’re done- wait!” “What is it?” Rainbow asks, seemingly excited. “You like Daring Doo, right?” I ask the mare, whose face contorts into a joyous smile. “Yeah! How did you know?” “Remember? I watched the show?” “Oh yeah.” The mare blushes once again. “Well, the books in your world are pretty much identical to a very popular series called Indiana Jones.” I explain to her, “It’s regarded as one of the best action/adventure series in the world.” “Awesome! Can I read one? Do you have one?” “Well, it’s not a book series…It’s a series of movies.” I explain to Rainbow. “Even better!” She exclaims, “This is going to be SO AWESOME!!!” -5 minutes later- “So let’s see this movie!” She gallops out into the living room and plops down on the couch. “Okay, okay.” I chuckle again to myself, “I’ll put it in.” I think my dreams just came true… Sorry again for the wait guys. Day 2-A Few Hours Later- “Did you like those movies?” I ask her, feeling incredibly groggy. Glancing over at the clock, I can see that it’s 4:30. Dammmnnn it’s late, good thing I don’t have a job to worry about in the morning. I chuckle inside of my head, as my body is way too tired to even attempt a task like that. After a few more seconds of thought, I realize that Dash has yet to respond to my previous inquiry. Glancing to my right, I see a passed out Rainbow Dash snoring quietly next to me. Daww… “Well, I guess it’s time for bed.” I say, smiling gently at the sight in front of me. I always thought that pictures of Rainbow Dash sleeping were cute, but none of that compares to actually seeing her in real life. The gentle movement of her chest along with the fact that her hair has fallen down over her left eye makes it impossible for me not to smile. Wrapping my hands around her, I gently lift the mare; cradling her in my arms. She grips onto me unknowingly, holding my body with a light hold. I start towards the bedroom, ready to get her in bed. Before long, I am standing in front of the bed. I set her down, but after I do so, she reaches out blindly for me, making my heart explode. I want to embrace her, but I would have to sleep with her, not that I don’t want that. Imagine, though, what her reaction would be in the morning. I don’t want to have to explain this. I calmly grab a nearby pillow and hand it to the rainbow-maned Pegasus, barley able to contain my squees as she hugs it tightly. That’s so cute! I cover her body up with a blanket, as the apartment tends to get a little cold. Once she’s all covered, I can’t help but give her a tiny kiss on the cheek. Walking out of the room, I lie down on the sofa in the living room, feeling insanely drowsy. I fall asleep almost instantly, feeling more content with my life than ever before. -The next morning- *RRRIIIINNNGGG* My alarm clock pierces through the small apartment, the sound waking me up and making me sit bolt upright. Once I realize what it is, however, I feel quite cheated and angry with myself. In addition to waking myself up, I had almost definitely woken Dash up as well. Shitballs… I make a mad dash for the bedroom, almost tipping on the way on the carpeted flooring. Eventually, I make it into the room in one piece and shut off the alarm before even looking at the bed. With one quick check of the bed, I can confirm that dash is awake and unhappy. “Ugh, what the hay was that about?” She moans, obviously not used to getting up this early, “Why do you need to get up so early?” “Um, I don’t. I just forgot to get rid of the alarm.” I make a nervous smile, to which rainbow responds with a death glare, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We might as well get up now, it’s only eight.” “Eight!?!” She shouts in shock, “I usually sleep in until ten or twelve!” “Well I’m sorry, but there really isn’t any point lying there for another two hours.” “Ugh, I don’t wanna get up yet!” She whines, burying her face in the pillow. Once she does this, however, she quickly pulls her head back out and looks at the pillow with a suspicious and confused face. “Wait a second, I don’t remember going to sleep in here last night.” She eyes the bed suspiciously now, as if about to declare it a ‘spy’. “Um, you didn’t.” I quietly explain, “You passed out in the couch, so I carried you in here and covered you up. I slept on the couch last night.” “Oh…Thanks…” Her attitude changes to a more meek approach once she learns of this. “No problem, you want some breakfast?” I ask her, feeling rather hungry myself, “I can cook some waffles and get you a glass of orange juice if you want.” “That sounds great, thanks a lot.” The mare smiles at me, her largest and most sincere-looking one yet. Before running out to the kitchen, I walk over to the laptop, plug it into my stereo system, then crank the volume to max and select a track to start at. Let’s see, Zedd’s a great starter. I love high energy music in the morning. I hit play on ‘Slam The Door’ and get to work on breakfast out in the kitchen. I throw a few waffles in the toaster, pour two glasses of orange juice, and get out two trays me and Dash can eat on. Once the food has been cooked, I walk back into the bedroom to see that Dash is bobbing her head to the music. “This song is great!” She says to me, smiling all the while. “I know, right!” I reply, excited that somepony shares my musical interest, “Wait, the best part is coming…” I say as I set down the trays on the bed next to Dash. I hold my palm up, as if gesturing to hold up as the song builds up to the drop. Eventually, the speakers scream out five words I’m sure to remember. “DON’T SLAM THE FUCKING DOOR!!!” Dash begins to headbang to the wicked electro line, as do I. It’s a good thing my only neighbor had to go to work early today! “You like it?” I ask the grinning Pegasus, already knowing the answer. “Yeah! This is great!” She answers energetically, “I love these heavy electronic songs! Man, I wish I could’ve gone to DJ Pon3’s concerts now, she probably played music just like this back in…Eq-Equestria…” I watch as her mood quickly changes, a single tear now dropping onto the bed. Dammit, please stop crying Dash. I move over to her and, deciding to test my luck once again, I put my hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. This time, she allows me to perform the action without any name calling or shrugging my hand off. “Hey, I’m really sorry about you coming here.” I frown and look into her eyes, “I wish I could promise you a way back, but I can’t. I’m sorry about you being here, I really am…” She looks at me, tears in her eyes, before once again turning to the pillow. “C-Can you promise me you won’t leave?” She stammers off, tears dripping onto the pillow, “I-I know I might sound weird, but I really don’t wanna be alone. I hate being alone…” “It’s okay.” I smile at her, happy to be able to offer her comfort in this time of need, “I’ll never leave you. I promise you that.” “Thanks…thanks.” I hear her say, my head having turned away to hide my blush, “But don’t you think for a minute I’m going soft! I’m still the toughest, most coolest, radical pony in Ponyville.” “I’ll try to remember that.” I say, chuckling a bit, “You wanna do something? I think I’m gonna play some TF2 now.” “What’s that?” She asks, curious with tears still present in her eyes, “Is it like a board game? I’ll have you know I’m the best board game player in Ponyville!” “Heh, no, it isn’t a board game.” “Well then what is it?” “I think it would be easier to just show you rather than tell you.” I say to the confused mare. I walk out of the room and grab my laptop, which is still blasting out loud and angry music. Pulling out the power cord and USB cords for the stereo equipment, I grab the laptop, mouse, and power cord. Before long, I am back in my (now Dash’s) room. “What’s all that stuff? Isn’t that what you played that music off of?” She asks, “How do you play a game on that thing?” “Before I show you, shouldn’t we eat?” I ask, “I mean, breakfast is pretty important and you need all the strength you can get.” “Yeah, I am pretty hungry, I guess.” The prismatic mare replies as I place her breakfast tray on her lap. -15 minutes later- “Lemme tell ya something; I am stuffed!” The grinning Pegasus says to me, “Great meal…Wait one second, we never got around to exchanging names!” “Oh yeah, I never told you my name!” I blush at my terrible stupidity, “I’m Max Walker, at your service, milady.” Dash blushes, but chuckles at the same time. I feel my cheeks light up; I was never too social and making this big push with Dash is pretty hard for me. “Hey, I’m gonna clean this up, then I can show you what TF2 is.” I say, carrying the trays out to the kitchen. Once I’ve cleaned the dishes in the sink, I head back into the room, ready to show Rainbow my favorite shooter on the PC. “Finally you’re back.” The annoyed-looking Pegasus says, “You took forever, you know?” “Sorry, I had to do the dishes.” I put on a fake grin, which causes her to look even more annoyed, “Hey, now we can check out that TF2 game, okay?” “Okay fine, I’ll let you off the hook,” Dash says teasingly to me, “But only this once.” “Hey, um, it’d be a lot easier for me to show you this game if I could lay down next to you, so could you please scoot over a bit?” I ask gently, try not to be too hard. “Sure, this should be cool!” She yells excitedly, scooting over to one side of the bed as I crawl in and place my laptop, which is now plugged into the wall, in my lap. The mouse tracks perfectly on the bed’s surface, so I shouldn’t be at too much of a disadvantage. In roughly five minutes, I am staring at the starting screen for Team Fortress 2. Dash hasn’t stopped staring in awe at the screen since it had been turned on, causing me to chuckle a tad. I click on the server list and find a server on 5gourge with decent ping. Well, this should be an adventure to her… Sorry, I was late again, blame it on my ADHD and my recent surgery I’m recovering from. Smokes-3 hours later- I close the window, having shown Dash a lot of gameplay. I’m having a great time with my favorite pony, but I feel like I’m boring her, despite her constant signals of happiness. This has always been an issue with me. I’m super paranoid about boring people with things I find interesting, whether it be a new song or a new video game. I feel as if I constantly have to entertain them to an absurd degree. Speaking of music, I am about to show Dash quite a bit of that. “Hey, what gives?” The disgruntled mare moans, clearly annoyed that I had closed the game, “I was watching that!” “Sorry, I just heard you go quiet and I thought that I was boring you…” I say, my voice trailing off towards the end, “Hey, how’s about we tell each other a little about ourselves.” “What, like you don’t already know enough about me?” Dash jokes, smiling to show there’s no harm intended, “But seriously, what would you wanna know about me that you don’t already know?” ARE YOU LESBIAN!?!?! COME ON ASK THE DAMN QUESTION!!! NO! I’m not gonna bring that shit up! At least…not yet… Come on, you’ve been wanting to know this since you first saw how the community portrayed her. It wouldn’t hurt just to ask… Shut up brain, I’ll ask her later. “Max?” I snap out my thoughts, only to see a rainbow-maned Pegasus waving her hoof in front of my face, “Yoohoo, you there?” “Sorry about that.” I say, now firmly entrenched back in reality, “Guess I kinda spaced out there a little, heh.” I awkwardly scratch the back of my head, feeling beads of sweat trace their way down my face, “Anyways, yeah; I wanted to know when you first started liking the Wonderbolts.” “Aw man, I can still remember that day!” Dash reconciles, “I was only, like, six years old and I saw this poster for them in Cloudsdale. I begged my mom all day to take me to the show, ‘cause they looked super cool. So anyways, she gave in eventually and I went to the show.” “And?” I inquire, waiting for her to finish the story. “It was so awesome, like nothing I’d ever seen.” Dash falls back onto the pillow, “The speed, the control, everything about them was just so cool! I even got a picture of them signed by their leader back then; Icy Breeze.” “Sounds awesome!” I grin, happy to see her smiling for once, “So then you started training to become a Wonderbolt, right?” “Yeah! I trained every chance I could get!” The excited mare remembers, “I even joined the Junior Speedsters to get ahead of my game!” “That’s cool, I wish I was that committed to my dream.” I chuckle. “What do you wanna be?” Rainbow asks, sounding genuinely interested. “I want to be a DJ or an electronic music producer.” I explain, “But every time I hear a pro DJ’s song, all I can think of is ‘how do you make those sounds’ or ‘I can’t do this!’. It’s like, I feel like I’m crap compared to everyone else.” “Well, let me hear what you’ve got.” Dash asks, “Maybe you aren’t as bad as you think you are.” “Sure, let me pull up FL.” I say dejectedly, clicking the icon on my desktop. “What’s FL?” “FL Studio is what I use to make music on the computer.” I explain, the program just now popping up in front of me, “Pretty complicated, huh?” “Wow, and I thought electronic music was easy…” The mare looks speechless at the large amount of buttons, switches, and sliders on screen. “I haven’t even opened the project yet.” I grin, wanting to see her reaction to my song. I quickly navigate to open my song and watch her jaw drop at the sheer amount of stuff on screen. From the synths to the patterns, everything here is in place. “Jeez, that looks pretty complicated…” Dash looks at me with a hint of respect, “Can you play the song?” “Sure, here we go.” I frown, ready for a mediocre response. The sounds of my hard work fill the room, coating it with a Swedish House-esque melody synth. Dash seems to be enjoying the song, so I smile. The drop hits, and the minimal guitar sounds make me feel a little crappy because, well, they sound pretty crappy, but Dash still seems to be enjoying it. I can’t believe she likes this, I really can’t. Eventually, the song ends and Dash turns to face me. On her face is a wide smile. “Dude, that was great!” She exclaims, “I could totally get down to that in a party! You seriously think that’s bad?” “Well, the guitars were pretty crappy, I’ve heard better pluck synths.” I frown, still feeling weak, “I still think I’m a weak producer.” “Really?” Dash ask me, “You still think you’re bad? That was great! I think you worry too much, man. Lighten up a bit, why don’t ya?” “Sure, I guess…” I sigh, “It’s just that I have no way of getting known other that Youtube and Soundcloud, and those are both one in a million deals. I wish I could be as enthusiastic as you, but I just can’t be. I need a smoke…” I sigh again as I exit the room, my spirits depleted. Not even Rainbow Dash could make me feel better, damn… I reach for my pack of cigarettes and the lighter on the stove. Taking a smoke out of the box, I light it and place it in my mouth, inhaling deeply. “That’s the shit…” I sigh, having not smoked for at least a day. Hearing a pounding on the floor behind me, I spin around to see Rainbow Dash staring at me with a confused expression. “What are you doing?” Dash asks, looking mildly disgusted at the cigarette, “What is that smoking thing in your mouth?” “A cigarette, helps me cope with the stress.” I state calmly, blowing out a bit of smoke, “It isn’t really good for me, though.” “What do you mean?” Dash asks, looking mildly concerned. “It can cause cancer, yellow my teeth, give me awful breath, and shorten my life span.” I frown as Dash’s jaw drops in shock. “W-Why in the world would you smoke it then!?!” The rainbow pony asks, flabbergasted at my words. “It calms me down a lot, helps me think.” I sigh, knowing what comes next, “I’m also addicted to the stuff.” “Wait, what?” Dash asks, confused at my explaination, “how can you be addicted to something that’s that awful?” “Well, back in my second year of high school, about two years ago, my friend asked me if I wanted to try smoking.” I tell my story, feeling the guilt rise up, “I tried it and I hated it, but I wanted to look cool, so I said it was great. He kept getting cigs and I eventually got addicted to the stuff in a cigarette. All the shit in these things is meant to be addictive.” “Well, what happens if you stop?” Dash asks, seemingly interested in the topic at hand. “Well, I go through withdrawal.” I say. Noting Dash’s confused expression, I decide to explain further, “I get really angry, dizzy, and it’s pretty hard for me to sleep. Oh, also, I feel the intense, and I mean in-freaking-tense need to smoke some more.” “It doesn’t sound that bad.” Dash says, waving a hoof at me as if to blow off my excuses, “I think you just lack conviction!” “Bullshit!” I yell, angry at her for questioning my will, “Don’t you ever say that shit! I tried to quit smoking two months ago! I got three weeks in and gave up, but sure as hell don’t mean I’m weak!” “I didn’t say-“Dash backs away, scared at my sudden outrage. It’s kinda funny, seeing this so-called ‘ultra-brave pony’ scared of me, of all people. I mean, I’m addicted to Reddit and used to work at a shopping center; I’m not exactly the most threatening guy in the world. “I know what you were thinking.” I huff, still angry at the mare for making such an outrageous statement, “You don’t know SHIT about what I went through! Imagine being in a desert and being tied to a pole, just out of reach of the last cup of water in the world. Oh yeah, and this goes on for about two weeks. It’s fucking miserable and I’m really pissed that you’d say I ‘don’t have the conviction’.” “I didn’t mean it like that…” Dash says to me, looking rather hurt, “I’m sorry, Max…” “Ugh, it’s okay, I can’t stay mad at you.” I say, “Besides, I’ve got better things to do than make the best pony depressed.” Rainbow’s cheeks light up a little, telling me that my comment had not fallen on deaf ears. I take the cigarette out once again a blow a puff of smoke in the opposite direction; away from Dash. “I’m gonna troll some twelve year olds on Modern Warfare 3, wanna watch?” I suddenly announce, the idea popping into my head out of nowhere. “What’s ‘trolling’?” Dash asks, “And what’s Modern Warfare 3?” “Modern Warfare 3 is a game infamous for the incredibly high concentration of annoying twelve-year-olds that play it online.” I grin, knowing that I’m gonna have fun with this, “Trolling is the act of making someone as mad as possible, usually by messing with them to a high degree.” “So, it’s sorta like pranking?” Dash asks, a smile growing on her face, “I think I like it!” Oh boy, this is gonna be fuuuun! I realize I am late again, sorry. I was too busy 100%ing Spyro 1 and playing Monster Hunter Freedom Unite. P.S. FUCK YOU PLESIOTH
New FriendsBefore we begin, let me introduce myself. My name is Max Walker. I’m 18 years old and I just moved out of my parent’s house and into an apartment last month. School just let out for the Summer and I had a whole three months of total freedom to do whatever I wanted. For me, that mostly boiled down to making house music, playing video games, and watching My Little Pony. Yeah, you read that right; I’m a brony. I’ve been bullied a little about it, but not enough to really affect me too bad. What many people, and even some bronies, find weird is that I actually consider these ponies more attractive than humans in some ways. I’ve never considered myself a furry, but I guess I just need to face the facts. My favorite pony since becoming a brony six months ago in October of 2011 has been Rainbow Dash. I’ve always found her the most beautiful, adorable, and awesome pony out any of them. The way her mane flows, the way she talks, and her habit of sticking up for her friends are just a few things about her that I love. I’ve always considered her to be a straight pony, despite the great debate originating from her prismatic mane and tomboyish attitude. Anyways, enough about me, let’s get on with the story. -June 28, 2012- -Michigan- -8:00 pm- “Yeah mom, I’ve done some investing and I’m covered for a few weeks.” I tell my mother over the phone, “Pretty great, huh? I knew that company would go up in a few days. Well, I’ll see you later…bye.” I hang up the phone, still happy that my investment had gone over so well. I am so giddy, in fact, that I nearly start hopping around in joy. The only thing that really stops me from literally jumping up and down with joy was the fact that I’m driving my car. I mean, it was a totally blind investment. I don’t even remember the name of the damn company! In fact, the only thing I remember was buying 50 shares at fifty cents a share. The next thing I knew, each share was worth $333! Do the math, that’s over $15000 total! Now, I know it probably wasn’t the brightest thing to do, but I quit my part time job over this. Yeah, it was pretty stupid, actually. Never mind that, however! Now, back to the story! I pull into my local Gamestop, ready to pick up a copy of Battlefield 3 for my Xbox. Why in the hell didn’t get this when it came out. Oh yeah, that’s right: I got addicted to Ponies. I park my car in front of the building, making sure to lock the doors before I exit the vehicle. Once inside the building, I am greeted by a large statue of Skyrim’s Dovahkinn, albeit with a missing sword. Heh, what are those crazy-ass thieves gonna do with a plastic sword? Idiots… Before long, I locate a copy of BF3 and start towards the cashier; a strongly-built man in his late teens or early twenties, who seems to be staring at me. Weird… I placed the game in front of the cashier, who snapped out of his staring and began to ring up the price. I guess I could play for a while with my friends before I get to work on my next song… Why are you even making music, man? It’s not like you’re actually gonna get famous. Shut up brain, I can dream! “Yo! Buddy!” I was snapped out of my thoughts by the cashier, who had begun to snap his fingers in my face, “You okay?” “Yeah, yeah.” I sigh, taking the bag he had placed on the counter, “I kinda snapped out of it there, sorry.” “No biggie, but hey, I couldn’t help but notice your shirt.” He looked down at my t-shirt, which was emblazoned with an image that was a ponified take on Tiesto’s bird logo; with an image of Dash in place of the bird. “You caught that, huh?” I chuckled a tad, nobody had noticed the pony in my shirt before, except for other bronies, “You a brony?” “Yeah; Lyra for life, man.” I chuckle a tad at this response, “I would totally hit that, like, any day of the week.” “So you clop?” I ask this question as soon as he begins about ‘hitting that’. “Hell yeah, all the time.” He answered, causing me to chuckle. I myself do clop, but I’m not as open about it as this man is. “So, your name is…?” He begins to inquire. “Max, Max Walker.” I announce, “At you service, madam.” “Very funny…” He rolls his eyes as I chortled a bit, “I’m Jack Bolton, by the way. Maybe we should trade numbers, I’d like to hook up sometime.” We trade phone numbers and wave goodbye to each other as I walk out the door. What a crazy motherfucker! I unlock my car door and get in, setting the bag down in the passenger seat. Once I am buckled up, I drive the car out of the parking lot. A few minutes later, I pull into the local park drive, which is the fastest way to get back to my apartment. Oh man, I’m so psyched to finally play this goddamn game! I hope this was worth the money! Suddenly, a strange multicolored streak shoots out from one of the clouds, causing my eyes to widen in shock. Rainbows…at night? What the hell!?! Taking a closer look, I pull over to the side of the road and exit the car, stepping out to focus on the scene before me. The streak appears to have a rainbow-colored trail following it, as well as a light blue tint, as it descends from the clouds and towards...me. Oh shit… I quickly begin to bolt out of the way of the rainbow missile, which looks as if it’s about to crash right into me. As the object gets closer and closer, I start freaking out big time. “Oh shit I’m gonna die!!!!” I Yell, scared out of my mind. I look back once more to gauge how close the object was to me, only to see that it is literally no more than thirty feet away and closing fast. Acting quickly, I duck and safely avoid collision with the mysterious projectile. Whew! That was close! I start to rub sweat off of my brow, realizing how close that…thing had come to ending my life. Wait, what was that thing anyways? I’ve never seen anything like that… Looking behind me, I check to see what had happened to the object. A trail of small-scale destruction lasts for about thirty feet and ends at a tiny crater. Inside the crater, I see something unbelievable; Rainbow Dash is curled up in a ball inside the crater. No…no way…she can’t be real… I move closer to the mare, unsure of my movements. I have never been this close to my dreams before, and the last thing that I want to do is screw it up big time. She seems to be the real deal, though I have yet to actually get near her. Well, better now than never. I sigh as I approach the motionless pony lying in the center of the crater. She looks awful; her right wing bent at an awkward angle and scrapes covering her body. Wait a minute, is she…dead? The very possibility of this shocks me into moving much faster. She can’t be dead, nononono! I rush to her side, forgetting about not scaring her and all of that stuff that I was concerned with. Putting my fingers to her neck, I sigh in relief as I feel a pulse. Well, at least she’s not dead, but she’s still pretty screwed up…I’d better bring her home with me. Wrapping my arms around the still-warm mare, I pick her up gently. Surprisingly, she weighs no more than fifty or sixty pounds, while being roughly one meter from hoof to ear (on all fours). Holding he close, I cannot believe how soft her fur is. Wait a minute, dude. You need to get her back to home. I rush once more and hurry the pony into my car, opting to set her in my lap. Omigosh she is so adorable…I can feel her taking tiny little breaths. Although my internal fangasms are slowing me down a fair bit, I eventually arrive at my apartment by 10:00, later than I would’ve liked. I can’t let my neighbors see this, and I live on the fifth floor! Just pretend she’s a plush Hey, good idea, brain! Grabbing Dashie from my lap, I start towards the door of my apartment, cradling the injured mare in my lap. Once in the door, I start for the elevator, which is still at my story. Sweet! No waiting this time bitches! I get in the elevator, only to discover that it is already occupied by my neighbor; Brian. Brian is a man of around 30 who is vaguely aware of the brony fad, but has no idea that I’m a member. We’re pretty good friends, but you should see the look on his face when he sees Dashie. “Whoa! What the hell is that?!” Brian yells in shock as I set the elevator to go to the fifth floor, “Is that some kind of alien?” “What? No!” I quickly lie to my friend about the origin of the creature I’m holding, “It’s a plushie I bough along the way home. Expensive piece of work, too; paid around a hundred dollars for this. “What IS it?” He asks, still staring at the doll. “It’s a Rainbow Dash plush.” I explain nonchalantly, “She’s a character in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, which is actually a pretty damn good show.” “My Little Pony, really man?” He chuckles, “Whatever, if you like it, then who am I to say otherwise. Just don’t try and pull me into this.” “I won’t, promise.” I grin as the elevator ascends to the fifth floor. With a satisfying ding, the door opens and I am within thirty feet of my apartment. “Well, see ya.” I quickly say my farewells to Brian, rushing towards my door with the mare still passed out in my arms. This should be an interesting night… To all those interested, I actually do make house music.
Indiana JonesSorry for the wait, guys. I've been playing TF2 way too much and I'm still saving up 2.66 ref to get a key. “Snug as a bug in a rug!” I say, proud of my work. Rainbow Dash lay in my bed, still passed out, with a blanket over her little body. Daww… I can see that she is still breathing and I’m willing to bet that she’ll wake up at any second. She’ll probably be out of it for a few seconds…I hope… Her wings are wrapped to her body with some gauze I found in my first aid kit. I think I folded them up right, but I really don’t know. All I know is that she got hurt pretty badly in the crash; both wings broken and a lot of scrapes I had to treat on her torso and hooves. Suddenly, the body starts to move, startling me and causing my heartbeat to increase tenfold. The little mare groans in pain as she attempts to lift her hooves. “Ugh, what’s going on…” She moans, obviously very tired, “Why do I hurt so…Wait a minute, that spell must’ve backfired, ughnn. Where am I? Twi, are you there?” “Um, hello.” I manage to say, causing the mare to jump a little, though her eyes stay closed, “You crashed near me on the side of the road, messed yourself up a bit. I brought you home and patched you up as much as I could.” “Who are you?” She asks, trying to sound brave, “If you did…Wait, you said that my wings were messed up…” “Y-Yeah, they’re pretty much broken…” I say, stuttering in fear of what she’d do to the messanger of such news, “I patched them up as good as I could, though…” “Broken…” I see tears leak through her closed eyelids as she sobs, “I can’t believe this, why didn’t you just take me to a hospital!?! You think you can do a better job than a doctor?” “I, uhh…” I stutter nervously, “We don’t have any hospitals around here…so-“ “Yeah right!” Rainbow interjects, “Don’t try and fool me, bub! I know that I couldn’t have flown too far from Ponyville…right?” “…” I stand there in silence, hoping that she’ll absorb what she just said. “R-Right?” This time she sounds much more nervous, “I mean, h-how far could I have gotten?” “Pretty damn far.” I simply state, “There’s some serious stuff I need to tell you, but you need to stay calm, okay?” “O-Okay…” The sky blue Pegasus answers nervously. “First off; you ain’t in Equestria anymore.” I tell her, “Secondly; I’m not a pony, dragon, or anything you’ve ever seen. Third; I am not, I repeat, am NOT going to hurt you under any circumstance.” “Where am I? What are you?” She starts freaking out, her eyes peeling open wide. At first, all she sees is the wall directly in front of her, but once she turns her head in my direction, her eyes pop out of their sockets. “W-What the hay…” The mare quietly says, “W-What in Equestria are you?” “A human, to put it simply.” I explain, “And you are no longer in Equestria, you’re on Earth…Home planet of the humans.” “How? Why? Twilight!” She suddenly exclaims, “I knew her stupid spell did something to me…” The blue mare begins to sob quietly, burying her head in the pillow. I feel awful just watching her, so I attempt to comfort her b putting my hand on her shoulder, which doesn’t exactly fly well with her as she shrugs off my hand. “Watch it, bub.” The distraught mare tells me, “I might be all bandaged up, but I can still kick your flank any day of the week! Keep your weird claws to yourself!” “Sorry…” I say apologetically, feeling hurt by her comment, “I’m gonna go into the living room. If you need anything, just tell me.” Before she gets the chance to respond, I exit the room and enter my living room. Well, you just got insulted by a mare that matters a hell of a lot to you. Only one thing to do now; fucking house music. I walk over to my laptop, plug in my Audio Technica headphones, and go to my music library. Once in my library, I hit shuffle and play. The first song that comes on is Bingo Players – L’amour. “Fucking shit right here.” I grin, letting the song take away all my worries, “Hell yeah!” I listen to the song for a solid three minutes, the loud and heavy bass drowning out any thoughts or regrets I may have had. Music is my drug, to put it quickly. Suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder, quickly making me spin around in shock. What I see is a annoyed-looking cyan mare. I take off my headphones and give an unsure chuckle. “I’ve been calling you for at least a minute, what’s the hold up?” She huffs at me. “Sorry, just drowning my sorrow with loud music.” I explain, frowning. “Heh, sorry about that…I was pretty mean…” The mare now looks quite sorry for what she had said earlier, “Friends?” She extends her hoof, wearing a large smile on her face. “Friends!” I extend my hand and wrap it around her hoof, shaking it. “So, you said you were listening to loud music…” She begins, an excited smile coming onto her face, “Is it like rock and roll? I could jam to that stuff all day!” “Nah, more electronic.” I explain, pulling out my headphones, “You wanna listen?” “Sure!” She answers, looking quite happy. “This one’s called L’Amour, it’s pretty kickass.” I say, excited to show my favorite pony some of my favorite music. I start the song at 37 seconds in, to avoid the build that may bore Rainbow. She site through the entirety of the lead, then the rise begins. When the drop hit, it hits hard, making Dash bob her head to the track. “This is crazy!” The mare yells, “I love it!” We sit through the rest of the track in silence, enjoying the sounds and structure of a great electro house jam. When the track finishes up, I press pause on my playlist and step away from the computer. “Hey, what gives?” She asks, upset that the music had stopped, “What are you doing?” “Making some soup like a soup boss.” I explain, walking over to my tiny-as-fuck pantry, “Got some good soups cookin’ here; got some chi- I mean tomato soup.” “Okay, I guess I am a little hungry.” She says, following me into the kitchen, “By the way, how did you know anything about Equestria?” “I- ummm…” I stumble on my words, unsure of what to say, “Ugh, it’s a long story.” “I’ve got time…”She says, making me all the more nervous. “Fine, I’ll tell you while we eat.” I say, giving in to her demand, “You want bread with the soup?” “Sure, why not?” The mare answers. -10 minutes later- I take a seat at my table, the bowl of cereal I had poured myself making me hungry. Dash had already started eating her soup and she seems to be enjoying it. I take my first bite and savor the taste in my mouth. I hadn’t eaten for at least four or five hours, so I am pretty hungry by now. “So, are you gonna tell me about how you know about Equestria?” The mare asks me. “Ugh, fine…” I sigh, setting down my spoon, “Do you have movies where you’re from?” “Yeah, we have movies, why?” “Well, in my world, you and your world are merely elements of a TV series.” This garners a confused look from the blue daredevil, “Think a movie, but with more plot elements. It’s also broken up into a ton of 30 minute episodes which are aired once a week. It’s called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.” “Wait…So in your world, I’m not real?” She asks, her eyes widening. “No, but I always believed you were out there somewhere.” I smile and look her in the eyes, “It looks like I was right.” “I’m just a fake character…” The mare starts to look rather downtrodden, “Not real…” “You’re real to me.” I say in a serious tone, “If you weren’t real, how are you talking to me right now.” “Maybe you’re right.” The sky blue Pegasus says, starting to smile again, “So, what did I do in the show?” “You were a bearer of one of the elements of harmony; loyalty.” I explain, “Then Applejack was honesty, Pinkie Pie was laughter, Rarity was generosity, Twilight was magic, and Fluttershy was kindness. The show followed the activities and adventures you and your friends had and I loved it. You were easily the coolest pony on the show, though.” “Thanks…” She blushes at the compliment, “And thanks for clearing that up. I thought you were a spy for a second there.” “No, I think not.” I chuckle a bit at this, “So, what do you want to do once we’re done- wait!” “What is it?” Rainbow asks, seemingly excited. “You like Daring Doo, right?” I ask the mare, whose face contorts into a joyous smile. “Yeah! How did you know?” “Remember? I watched the show?” “Oh yeah.” The mare blushes once again. “Well, the books in your world are pretty much identical to a very popular series called Indiana Jones.” I explain to her, “It’s regarded as one of the best action/adventure series in the world.” “Awesome! Can I read one? Do you have one?” “Well, it’s not a book series…It’s a series of movies.” I explain to Rainbow. “Even better!” She exclaims, “This is going to be SO AWESOME!!!” -5 minutes later- “So let’s see this movie!” She gallops out into the living room and plops down on the couch. “Okay, okay.” I chuckle again to myself, “I’ll put it in.” I think my dreams just came true… Sorry again for the wait guys.
Day 2-A Few Hours Later- “Did you like those movies?” I ask her, feeling incredibly groggy. Glancing over at the clock, I can see that it’s 4:30. Dammmnnn it’s late, good thing I don’t have a job to worry about in the morning. I chuckle inside of my head, as my body is way too tired to even attempt a task like that. After a few more seconds of thought, I realize that Dash has yet to respond to my previous inquiry. Glancing to my right, I see a passed out Rainbow Dash snoring quietly next to me. Daww… “Well, I guess it’s time for bed.” I say, smiling gently at the sight in front of me. I always thought that pictures of Rainbow Dash sleeping were cute, but none of that compares to actually seeing her in real life. The gentle movement of her chest along with the fact that her hair has fallen down over her left eye makes it impossible for me not to smile. Wrapping my hands around her, I gently lift the mare; cradling her in my arms. She grips onto me unknowingly, holding my body with a light hold. I start towards the bedroom, ready to get her in bed. Before long, I am standing in front of the bed. I set her down, but after I do so, she reaches out blindly for me, making my heart explode. I want to embrace her, but I would have to sleep with her, not that I don’t want that. Imagine, though, what her reaction would be in the morning. I don’t want to have to explain this. I calmly grab a nearby pillow and hand it to the rainbow-maned Pegasus, barley able to contain my squees as she hugs it tightly. That’s so cute! I cover her body up with a blanket, as the apartment tends to get a little cold. Once she’s all covered, I can’t help but give her a tiny kiss on the cheek. Walking out of the room, I lie down on the sofa in the living room, feeling insanely drowsy. I fall asleep almost instantly, feeling more content with my life than ever before. -The next morning- *RRRIIIINNNGGG* My alarm clock pierces through the small apartment, the sound waking me up and making me sit bolt upright. Once I realize what it is, however, I feel quite cheated and angry with myself. In addition to waking myself up, I had almost definitely woken Dash up as well. Shitballs… I make a mad dash for the bedroom, almost tipping on the way on the carpeted flooring. Eventually, I make it into the room in one piece and shut off the alarm before even looking at the bed. With one quick check of the bed, I can confirm that dash is awake and unhappy. “Ugh, what the hay was that about?” She moans, obviously not used to getting up this early, “Why do you need to get up so early?” “Um, I don’t. I just forgot to get rid of the alarm.” I make a nervous smile, to which rainbow responds with a death glare, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. We might as well get up now, it’s only eight.” “Eight!?!” She shouts in shock, “I usually sleep in until ten or twelve!” “Well I’m sorry, but there really isn’t any point lying there for another two hours.” “Ugh, I don’t wanna get up yet!” She whines, burying her face in the pillow. Once she does this, however, she quickly pulls her head back out and looks at the pillow with a suspicious and confused face. “Wait a second, I don’t remember going to sleep in here last night.” She eyes the bed suspiciously now, as if about to declare it a ‘spy’. “Um, you didn’t.” I quietly explain, “You passed out in the couch, so I carried you in here and covered you up. I slept on the couch last night.” “Oh…Thanks…” Her attitude changes to a more meek approach once she learns of this. “No problem, you want some breakfast?” I ask her, feeling rather hungry myself, “I can cook some waffles and get you a glass of orange juice if you want.” “That sounds great, thanks a lot.” The mare smiles at me, her largest and most sincere-looking one yet. Before running out to the kitchen, I walk over to the laptop, plug it into my stereo system, then crank the volume to max and select a track to start at. Let’s see, Zedd’s a great starter. I love high energy music in the morning. I hit play on ‘Slam The Door’ and get to work on breakfast out in the kitchen. I throw a few waffles in the toaster, pour two glasses of orange juice, and get out two trays me and Dash can eat on. Once the food has been cooked, I walk back into the bedroom to see that Dash is bobbing her head to the music. “This song is great!” She says to me, smiling all the while. “I know, right!” I reply, excited that somepony shares my musical interest, “Wait, the best part is coming…” I say as I set down the trays on the bed next to Dash. I hold my palm up, as if gesturing to hold up as the song builds up to the drop. Eventually, the speakers scream out five words I’m sure to remember. “DON’T SLAM THE FUCKING DOOR!!!” Dash begins to headbang to the wicked electro line, as do I. It’s a good thing my only neighbor had to go to work early today! “You like it?” I ask the grinning Pegasus, already knowing the answer. “Yeah! This is great!” She answers energetically, “I love these heavy electronic songs! Man, I wish I could’ve gone to DJ Pon3’s concerts now, she probably played music just like this back in…Eq-Equestria…” I watch as her mood quickly changes, a single tear now dropping onto the bed. Dammit, please stop crying Dash. I move over to her and, deciding to test my luck once again, I put my hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. This time, she allows me to perform the action without any name calling or shrugging my hand off. “Hey, I’m really sorry about you coming here.” I frown and look into her eyes, “I wish I could promise you a way back, but I can’t. I’m sorry about you being here, I really am…” She looks at me, tears in her eyes, before once again turning to the pillow. “C-Can you promise me you won’t leave?” She stammers off, tears dripping onto the pillow, “I-I know I might sound weird, but I really don’t wanna be alone. I hate being alone…” “It’s okay.” I smile at her, happy to be able to offer her comfort in this time of need, “I’ll never leave you. I promise you that.” “Thanks…thanks.” I hear her say, my head having turned away to hide my blush, “But don’t you think for a minute I’m going soft! I’m still the toughest, most coolest, radical pony in Ponyville.” “I’ll try to remember that.” I say, chuckling a bit, “You wanna do something? I think I’m gonna play some TF2 now.” “What’s that?” She asks, curious with tears still present in her eyes, “Is it like a board game? I’ll have you know I’m the best board game player in Ponyville!” “Heh, no, it isn’t a board game.” “Well then what is it?” “I think it would be easier to just show you rather than tell you.” I say to the confused mare. I walk out of the room and grab my laptop, which is still blasting out loud and angry music. Pulling out the power cord and USB cords for the stereo equipment, I grab the laptop, mouse, and power cord. Before long, I am back in my (now Dash’s) room. “What’s all that stuff? Isn’t that what you played that music off of?” She asks, “How do you play a game on that thing?” “Before I show you, shouldn’t we eat?” I ask, “I mean, breakfast is pretty important and you need all the strength you can get.” “Yeah, I am pretty hungry, I guess.” The prismatic mare replies as I place her breakfast tray on her lap. -15 minutes later- “Lemme tell ya something; I am stuffed!” The grinning Pegasus says to me, “Great meal…Wait one second, we never got around to exchanging names!” “Oh yeah, I never told you my name!” I blush at my terrible stupidity, “I’m Max Walker, at your service, milady.” Dash blushes, but chuckles at the same time. I feel my cheeks light up; I was never too social and making this big push with Dash is pretty hard for me. “Hey, I’m gonna clean this up, then I can show you what TF2 is.” I say, carrying the trays out to the kitchen. Once I’ve cleaned the dishes in the sink, I head back into the room, ready to show Rainbow my favorite shooter on the PC. “Finally you’re back.” The annoyed-looking Pegasus says, “You took forever, you know?” “Sorry, I had to do the dishes.” I put on a fake grin, which causes her to look even more annoyed, “Hey, now we can check out that TF2 game, okay?” “Okay fine, I’ll let you off the hook,” Dash says teasingly to me, “But only this once.” “Hey, um, it’d be a lot easier for me to show you this game if I could lay down next to you, so could you please scoot over a bit?” I ask gently, try not to be too hard. “Sure, this should be cool!” She yells excitedly, scooting over to one side of the bed as I crawl in and place my laptop, which is now plugged into the wall, in my lap. The mouse tracks perfectly on the bed’s surface, so I shouldn’t be at too much of a disadvantage. In roughly five minutes, I am staring at the starting screen for Team Fortress 2. Dash hasn’t stopped staring in awe at the screen since it had been turned on, causing me to chuckle a tad. I click on the server list and find a server on 5gourge with decent ping. Well, this should be an adventure to her… Sorry, I was late again, blame it on my ADHD and my recent surgery I’m recovering from.
Smokes-3 hours later- I close the window, having shown Dash a lot of gameplay. I’m having a great time with my favorite pony, but I feel like I’m boring her, despite her constant signals of happiness. This has always been an issue with me. I’m super paranoid about boring people with things I find interesting, whether it be a new song or a new video game. I feel as if I constantly have to entertain them to an absurd degree. Speaking of music, I am about to show Dash quite a bit of that. “Hey, what gives?” The disgruntled mare moans, clearly annoyed that I had closed the game, “I was watching that!” “Sorry, I just heard you go quiet and I thought that I was boring you…” I say, my voice trailing off towards the end, “Hey, how’s about we tell each other a little about ourselves.” “What, like you don’t already know enough about me?” Dash jokes, smiling to show there’s no harm intended, “But seriously, what would you wanna know about me that you don’t already know?” ARE YOU LESBIAN!?!?! COME ON ASK THE DAMN QUESTION!!! NO! I’m not gonna bring that shit up! At least…not yet… Come on, you’ve been wanting to know this since you first saw how the community portrayed her. It wouldn’t hurt just to ask… Shut up brain, I’ll ask her later. “Max?” I snap out my thoughts, only to see a rainbow-maned Pegasus waving her hoof in front of my face, “Yoohoo, you there?” “Sorry about that.” I say, now firmly entrenched back in reality, “Guess I kinda spaced out there a little, heh.” I awkwardly scratch the back of my head, feeling beads of sweat trace their way down my face, “Anyways, yeah; I wanted to know when you first started liking the Wonderbolts.” “Aw man, I can still remember that day!” Dash reconciles, “I was only, like, six years old and I saw this poster for them in Cloudsdale. I begged my mom all day to take me to the show, ‘cause they looked super cool. So anyways, she gave in eventually and I went to the show.” “And?” I inquire, waiting for her to finish the story. “It was so awesome, like nothing I’d ever seen.” Dash falls back onto the pillow, “The speed, the control, everything about them was just so cool! I even got a picture of them signed by their leader back then; Icy Breeze.” “Sounds awesome!” I grin, happy to see her smiling for once, “So then you started training to become a Wonderbolt, right?” “Yeah! I trained every chance I could get!” The excited mare remembers, “I even joined the Junior Speedsters to get ahead of my game!” “That’s cool, I wish I was that committed to my dream.” I chuckle. “What do you wanna be?” Rainbow asks, sounding genuinely interested. “I want to be a DJ or an electronic music producer.” I explain, “But every time I hear a pro DJ’s song, all I can think of is ‘how do you make those sounds’ or ‘I can’t do this!’. It’s like, I feel like I’m crap compared to everyone else.” “Well, let me hear what you’ve got.” Dash asks, “Maybe you aren’t as bad as you think you are.” “Sure, let me pull up FL.” I say dejectedly, clicking the icon on my desktop. “What’s FL?” “FL Studio is what I use to make music on the computer.” I explain, the program just now popping up in front of me, “Pretty complicated, huh?” “Wow, and I thought electronic music was easy…” The mare looks speechless at the large amount of buttons, switches, and sliders on screen. “I haven’t even opened the project yet.” I grin, wanting to see her reaction to my song. I quickly navigate to open my song and watch her jaw drop at the sheer amount of stuff on screen. From the synths to the patterns, everything here is in place. “Jeez, that looks pretty complicated…” Dash looks at me with a hint of respect, “Can you play the song?” “Sure, here we go.” I frown, ready for a mediocre response. The sounds of my hard work fill the room, coating it with a Swedish House-esque melody synth. Dash seems to be enjoying the song, so I smile. The drop hits, and the minimal guitar sounds make me feel a little crappy because, well, they sound pretty crappy, but Dash still seems to be enjoying it. I can’t believe she likes this, I really can’t. Eventually, the song ends and Dash turns to face me. On her face is a wide smile. “Dude, that was great!” She exclaims, “I could totally get down to that in a party! You seriously think that’s bad?” “Well, the guitars were pretty crappy, I’ve heard better pluck synths.” I frown, still feeling weak, “I still think I’m a weak producer.” “Really?” Dash ask me, “You still think you’re bad? That was great! I think you worry too much, man. Lighten up a bit, why don’t ya?” “Sure, I guess…” I sigh, “It’s just that I have no way of getting known other that Youtube and Soundcloud, and those are both one in a million deals. I wish I could be as enthusiastic as you, but I just can’t be. I need a smoke…” I sigh again as I exit the room, my spirits depleted. Not even Rainbow Dash could make me feel better, damn… I reach for my pack of cigarettes and the lighter on the stove. Taking a smoke out of the box, I light it and place it in my mouth, inhaling deeply. “That’s the shit…” I sigh, having not smoked for at least a day. Hearing a pounding on the floor behind me, I spin around to see Rainbow Dash staring at me with a confused expression. “What are you doing?” Dash asks, looking mildly disgusted at the cigarette, “What is that smoking thing in your mouth?” “A cigarette, helps me cope with the stress.” I state calmly, blowing out a bit of smoke, “It isn’t really good for me, though.” “What do you mean?” Dash asks, looking mildly concerned. “It can cause cancer, yellow my teeth, give me awful breath, and shorten my life span.” I frown as Dash’s jaw drops in shock. “W-Why in the world would you smoke it then!?!” The rainbow pony asks, flabbergasted at my words. “It calms me down a lot, helps me think.” I sigh, knowing what comes next, “I’m also addicted to the stuff.” “Wait, what?” Dash asks, confused at my explaination, “how can you be addicted to something that’s that awful?” “Well, back in my second year of high school, about two years ago, my friend asked me if I wanted to try smoking.” I tell my story, feeling the guilt rise up, “I tried it and I hated it, but I wanted to look cool, so I said it was great. He kept getting cigs and I eventually got addicted to the stuff in a cigarette. All the shit in these things is meant to be addictive.” “Well, what happens if you stop?” Dash asks, seemingly interested in the topic at hand. “Well, I go through withdrawal.” I say. Noting Dash’s confused expression, I decide to explain further, “I get really angry, dizzy, and it’s pretty hard for me to sleep. Oh, also, I feel the intense, and I mean in-freaking-tense need to smoke some more.” “It doesn’t sound that bad.” Dash says, waving a hoof at me as if to blow off my excuses, “I think you just lack conviction!” “Bullshit!” I yell, angry at her for questioning my will, “Don’t you ever say that shit! I tried to quit smoking two months ago! I got three weeks in and gave up, but sure as hell don’t mean I’m weak!” “I didn’t say-“Dash backs away, scared at my sudden outrage. It’s kinda funny, seeing this so-called ‘ultra-brave pony’ scared of me, of all people. I mean, I’m addicted to Reddit and used to work at a shopping center; I’m not exactly the most threatening guy in the world. “I know what you were thinking.” I huff, still angry at the mare for making such an outrageous statement, “You don’t know SHIT about what I went through! Imagine being in a desert and being tied to a pole, just out of reach of the last cup of water in the world. Oh yeah, and this goes on for about two weeks. It’s fucking miserable and I’m really pissed that you’d say I ‘don’t have the conviction’.” “I didn’t mean it like that…” Dash says to me, looking rather hurt, “I’m sorry, Max…” “Ugh, it’s okay, I can’t stay mad at you.” I say, “Besides, I’ve got better things to do than make the best pony depressed.” Rainbow’s cheeks light up a little, telling me that my comment had not fallen on deaf ears. I take the cigarette out once again a blow a puff of smoke in the opposite direction; away from Dash. “I’m gonna troll some twelve year olds on Modern Warfare 3, wanna watch?” I suddenly announce, the idea popping into my head out of nowhere. “What’s ‘trolling’?” Dash asks, “And what’s Modern Warfare 3?” “Modern Warfare 3 is a game infamous for the incredibly high concentration of annoying twelve-year-olds that play it online.” I grin, knowing that I’m gonna have fun with this, “Trolling is the act of making someone as mad as possible, usually by messing with them to a high degree.” “So, it’s sorta like pranking?” Dash asks, a smile growing on her face, “I think I like it!” Oh boy, this is gonna be fuuuun! I realize I am late again, sorry. I was too busy 100%ing Spyro 1 and playing Monster Hunter Freedom Unite. P.S. FUCK YOU PLESIOTH
