A Sunset's Last Sunsetby CharaDemonChildChaptersHit Me, I Won't BreakI'm a MonsterMy PastInterventionLittle StepNewsMissed OpportunitySkin DeepRejecting FriendshipRunningHit Me, I Won't BreakIt's the day after, I'm working on repairs. Everyone is gathered round, glowering at me. I force myself to focus only on the task. No tears. No. I cried myself too sleep last night, I don't think I have much liquid left. A can hits my shoulder, I glance up and sigh. Chrysalis Chaling, but everyone calls her Chrysalis Changling. This is because one day she'll by nice to you, the next is a knife to the back. She changes her mind as easily as Celestia (back home) changes it from sunny, to the sky being ready for Luna's moon. "Well, the little freak dares show her face here." she sneers. I decide to ignore that statement, I never liked her. She bullies people even more than me. Her face sours at my lack of reaction. She storms over to me, flanked by her friends. All of them...aren't nice. Tirek is crazy violent and manipulative, Sombra is forever blackmailing people to fo his bidding. Tantalus merely sets up things to create fear in you, a cold attack. All of them together...well, you don't want them as enemies. They can make your school life terrible, the only ones they work with are eachother. The second she is near she yanks my hair. I yelp in pain then clamp my teeth together so it won't show too much. She then slaps me across the face. "Did you really think you'd be able to control us?" she spits, clenching her fists. I bite my lip, eyes flickering to the ground. The guilt builds up again, despite the fact that I really hate her. At my silence she punches me in my stomach, multiple times. Then she grips hold of my collar. "Don't ignore me." she hisses, acid in her voice. "You are noone. After what you did anyone could do anything to you and noone would care. You should be greatful someone would even talk to like dirt like you." "Sorry." I whisper. She throws me to the ground, kicking me in the stomach. I feel myself roll up, attempting to defend myself from more injuries. "Sorry won't cut it." Chrysalis states, lividly. "Pathetic. Don't defend yourself you're a stupid worthless nobody." Another kick, this one to my side. It's harder, but I avoid showing pain. They can kick me, hit me, but I won't break. Showing pain will just make this happen more. It'll stop if I don't react...right? I'm a MonsterI can't eat during lunch for days. It's been two weeks and I'm still being stared at constantly. It's offputting and hurtful. It just reminds me I no longer belong here. I no longer belong anywere. The bruises littering my body from Chrysalis targeting me reminds me. As I pick at my food accusations ring out. "You aren't good enough for that!" someone calls. "Yeah, and you're making everyone feel uncomfortable being in here!" another voice rings out. I chew on my lip, trying to block them out. I'm clearly unsuccessful and my appetite, yet again, fades. I walk out, stares burning into my back. Once I exit a hand clamps on my wrist. Tirek. "What?" I ask irritability. He smirks. Sombra steps out of the shadows. "We have something we want you to do, Sunset." Sombra states. "All our homework, meaning us twos, Tabtsbus' and Chrysalis'" I cross my arms. "No." I reply. Sombra merely smirks. "Figured you'd say that." he says. Tirek grabs hold of my collar and slams me across the lockers. So far only Chrysalis has attacked me, this pain is far worse. He's much stronger. His hand twists my wrist, tears brim at the pain. I force them not to fall as he throws me to the ground, like garbage. "How about now?" Sombra asks, smirking at me. I shake my head. Multiple kicks, to my stomach and side. It's too much, constantly knocking the air out my lungs, making breathing impossible. He stamps hard on my rib cage, I hear a cracking sound. Definitely a few broken...and I can't pay medical bills. He's about to kick me again when two people turn the corner. Luna and Celestia, neither of them look happy. "You two, detention for a month. Get to the isolation room." Celestia instructs. "Yes Princaple Celestia..." they mutter, but they give me a deadly look before leaving. "Are you alright, Sunset?" Luna asks, helping me to my feet. "Yes. Thanks.." I say. I clutch my side as spurt of pain goes through. "Broken?" Luna asks. "Probaly but it's fine." I state. "Go to the nurses office, she'll sort it out then you can head home early." Celestia tells me. "I have detention." I protest. "You can miss it tonight." Luna says, kindly. "Besides you look exsausted." I am exhausted. Every night she-demon me plagues my dreams. I want to be good. But I'm a monster. I have noone to show me the path of good. My PastI get home. It's a small apartment with no heating and little electricity. I cant afford better. I curl up on my aged sofa, head on my arm. I quietly sing to myself, trying to distract my thoughts from today. From everything. Power was not the main desire Instead it was the approval, what i wanted was approval aquired. I've began to fall, there's no light ahead Darkness found me And left me on my own. Like shadows curling round, in the night I'm broken, won't deny I may have no future, so I'm told But here me when say That put my past behind me Because my past is not my way. Tears burn my eyes. I wasn't always like this. I want to be nice but I have noone to teach me how. I'm a monster. No one wants to be friends with a monster. I wrap my arms around my chest. All I do...is fail. My past, it only proves that. Whywhywhy. Why am I me?! OK. Calm down. Breathe. Perfectly calm. I'll be OK. I've always picked myself up before, why not this time? There's always hope...even if things have always been cursed for me....Maybe I should explain... Flashback-Age; 10 "Wrong! Do it again!" A yellow unicorn with light green hair yells. "But I'm tired..." I protest. "Being tired is for losers! Do you want to carry on being a loser for the rest of your life?" she yells. "No mother." I reply. We're doing magic training. It's gone midnight but mother says I have to get this right. "Don't look so miserable!" a red unicorn with darker red hair snaps. "You are too cause that emotion in others. That's how you succeed. Not that you will, Sunset Shimmer. You'll never amount to anything." "B-but Father..." I protest. "But nothing! Try again!" he yells. End Flashback They always pushed me like that, I ended up like them. Insulting to get my way. It hurt me so why did I do it? Have I always been a monster? Ugh. Everyone could do better than me. Freaking Tirek could. I have no potential for goodness, otherwise I wouldn't of turned into my parents. Sure...they wanted to push me to my limits...but it made it hard for me to trust anyone. At least Father was right...I'll never amount to anything. Flashback-Age; 13.5 I can't do the spell. I strain myself, no luck. "Sunset, we can't advance until you master this and it's been months." Celestia says to me. "I'm wondering if you have a backup career which isn't entirely magic based." Is she...giving up? Am I that much of a failiure. I run out the room not replying. The bitterness from my parents overspills. I cant stay here, where no one has faith in me..and I know about the portal to another dimension. A fresh start. Just what I need. Noone needs me here, not even Celestia... End Flashback Flashback-Age; 17 Twilight pulls me out the crater. I couldn't fight the darkness, all I wanted was to show Celestia my power. Instead I tried to enslave people. FAILIURE. WHY DO I KEEP FAILING EVERYONE?! Escpecially...myself. "Im so sorry," I sob. She hugs me. She tells me her friends will he friends with me...its a lie. Albeit a kind one... "Oh now you feel bad" Dash snaps. "You didn't feel bad when you tore apart our friendship!" I did that three months ago...For one reason. I was jelous. I've never had any friends..." End Flashback And I never will... The song is basically 'My Past is Not Today' but I changed the words. Was my edit of the song ok? InterventionEverything is burning. My ribs, my stomach... A burst of agony, a rapid kick into my already pain filled form. A stamp, an audible yelp escapes my lips. One lands on my thighs, making my eyes water. There's already a lot of cuts there, seeing as I've been using my knife for a couple of weeks now. Chrysalis laughs at me, before kicking me again. Her face looks malicious as she carries on her attack. "So, Monster, concidered killing yourself yet?" Chrysalis asks, snidely. Yes. I have. Every day, I think about it. It seems...the best choice. I'm just afraid. What if someone found me before I died? It would mean failure...again. "S...stop." a voice instructs. I look up through blurry vision and see Fluttershy. "The monster deserves it." Chrysalis snaps. Fluttershy then does something she's famous for, the stare. "Leave her alone!" she instructs, stepping in front of me. Chrysalis gives a last hateful look to me, then walks off. Did not see that coming. Fluttershy offers her hand to me, concern written across her face. I accept the help. "Thanks Fluttershy." I say, winsing slightly. Her kind intervention is surprising but her kindness is her main trait. "Maybe we should tell Luna and Celestia about this." she suggests. I shake my head. "It'll only annoy them." I say. "Besides I deserve it." "No one deserves to hurt." she quietly replies, looking at me seriously. "I do." I whisper, my eyes flickering to the floor. I'm surprised when she hugs me, gently. "You don't." she states, gently. She reaches into her bag and takes out her bunny. I think he's called Angel. "Here, hold this. Holding a bunny always makes me feel better." she says. "Why you being so nice to me?" I ask, as I hold Angel. "I don't like seeing people upset." she replies. "Besides...they could've really hurt you!" "Thanks Fluttershy." I say. "No problem." she says, leaving. For the first time since the Fall Formal I smile. Little StepOne little step. Then it'll be okay. I've written a letter, tucked into my jacket pocket. The height is disorienting, the ground so far. My foot rests on the edge, then I take a small step back. I'm scared. I want this. I want it over more than a anything, so why can't I step forward. Is it because I'm a failiure, unable to do even this. I breath slowly through my nose, something I resent. I don't want my breath to carry on. Resolve steps in. I screw my eyes shut and take a little step forward into empty space. As I fall my eyes fly open, watching my shadow grow. The fall...is terrifying. I accidently let out a scream. Stupid...now someone could find me before I die. The wind slaps my body. I wonder if there's an afterlife....I hope not. It'd, in my case, probably suck as much as life. I'd be better off rotting. So near the ground now. So near the end. A tear escapes. I never achieved anything...unless I die. Then I would've finally completed an aim. As the ground is only seconds away I prepare to greet death, I prepare for my heart to stop... Impact. Pain. I've never felt something this agonising. My body is in a crumpled heap, leg resting on the other. I cant move. My lungs feel like they're being burnt in acid. My vision is blurry, from tears. I smell a rusty salt oder. Blood. My blood. I look at the sky. It's sunset. The sky alive with colours and warmth. The shadows it casts have not seemed threatening before and they still don't. This is...my last Sunset. It's a Sunset's last sunset. The colours fill my eyes for a bit longer, then a cloud fills my vision. I finally close my eyes, alone but finally at peace, and give into blissful nothingness. News3rd Person Celestia rubs the the crease between her eyebrows, not at all wanting to deliver this announcement to her students. One of them is gone from their group... forever. Luna puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Want me to do this?" she asks. Celestia shakes her head, memories had been plaguing her since last night. As the girl had no family she'd been asked to confirm the body... The broken, dead, body of Sunset Shimmer. She sighs, slightly, looking at the crowd of waiting students. All seem relaxed, probaly expecting good news. A showcase or another party as such. She takes a deep breath and begins. "I'm afraid a student passed away last night." she begins. Imnedetly people look around, trying to see who is missing. "The student was Sunset Shimmer." she continues. "The cause of death...was suicide." A shocked silence rings out. Rarity, Dash, A.J, Pinkie and Fluttershy exchange shocked looks. Twilight had asked them to befriend her. Only Fluttershy had tried. Now... They sit up staight, eyes locked on Celestia, awaiting more infomation. It was so silent you could hear a feather fall. The world seemed to hold its breath in acknowledgment of the sun's setting. "She left a note, which I'm going to read now." she says. To Canterlot High, Well. You finally won. I give up. You were right. I am just a monster...One that doesn't deserve life. I did so many terrible things, I guess you don't want an explanation. But...I'm giving you one. You deserve to know why I did it all, after all it effected all of you . You may not care, you will probaly still hate me, but at least you'll finally know the truth. So, if you got this note, here it is. The truth... I never wanted to brainwash you. All I ever wanted the crown for was to return to Equestria and prove I had magical potential. Obviously it backfired. In all honesty I should've gone back to Equestria with Twilight. Started over. It would've stopped you having me around, extremely unfortunate for you. As I wanted it for my own benifot it...sorta....controlled me. Do remember I started having tears fall then I turned into a demon, seemingly happy with my transformation. In fact I'm happy I was defeated, it stopped me doing something even worse. But, I promise, I didn't want to hurt anyone. One person tried to be friends with me, and I appreciate it. If I wasn't afraid of you all hurting her if she was around me. She's too nice to deserve physical pain...let alone all the insults. If I hurt her I'm sorry. All I wanted was for someone to have a better time than me. School is hell, if everyone hates you. Hits you. Insults you. Even if you hate someone, even if they're worse than me... please. Don't do it to anyone. It made me give up. Still...I deserved it. Even my parents said I'd never amount to anything. Enjoy Life Goodbye Sunset Shimmer There was a silence. Tears are in so many eyes. Nearly all. None of them could stand the fact they'd broke someone so completely. "The funeral will be Saturday at 3:00pm. The whole school is welcome to attend, after all there's noone else to arrange it..." Celestia states. If course...they all go. Each brings a white lily to put on her casket. The flower of purity. Nothing they could do would be good enough though. After all she is...and always will... be gone. A aaaaand the end :) Good? Bad? Missed OpportunityWith a moon's full height Twilight is gone, Spike along with her. At once eyes turn to me, livid anger and hate glowing at me. I feel sick to my stomach, a feeling of agony clutches my heart. What was I thinking? Scratches decorate me, along with filth from the crater I'd been in. I try look away but the glares surround me, burning my chest. In all honesty the teenager brainwashed thing only occurred to me after I became a demon. Before...All I wanted was to prove to Celestia was I was powerful. Instead I humiliated myself, now I have nothing. Although Twilight's friends said they'd help... Despite this slightly more cheerful thought, tears prick, washing down my face. "Oh now you feel bad." Rainbow Dash snaps. "You didn't feel bad when you tore apart our friendship!" Her loyal reputation for her friends proceeds her. She's right, but I flinch at her harsh comment. "Or when you insulted us and our families ways." Applejack adds.When did I....oh. Right. "You sabotaged me when I ran for Spring Fling." Rarity continues. "Plus sabotaged the party." Pinkie finishes. Only Fluttershy remains quiet but even her usually kind face is cold. The tears fall more at all the reminders. "Forget about us trying to be friends with you." Applejack states, the five walking off. I feel my shoulders slump as everyone disperses, leaving me with the damage. Luna and Celestia are also giving me cold looks. I sniff slightly, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. "What will my punishment be?" I ask, my voice hollow. Already my confidence has escaped, leaving me vulnerable and breakable. "Firstly you'll repair the damages." Celestia sternly says. "Then detention every night for six months." Fair enough. I nod in understanding, but disliking it. I mean noone would like it. I missed an opportunity. I could've returned to Equestria, started over. Noone would've recognised me. Instead I stayed here, where everyone hates me. But...I guess...it is what I deserve. In fact I deserve worse, which is a truly negative thought. I don't care though. It is negative, a complete mirror of my damn choices which lead to this. I cant let Snips and Snails idolise me anymore. What if they wind up like me? I'm not forcing that on anyone. Ultimately it'll go wrong, unbearably so. I have enough guilt as it is. I cant cope with more. Author's Note Remember. Not copywrite. From my wattpad account. Skin DeepI look at my locker. Written across it is 'Monster', 'Freak' and 'Waste of life'. I sigh and get some spray and a cloth out my locker. It's been two months since the Fall Formal. The locker writing has been going on for six weeks. Each day positivity is becoming increasingly difficult to pinpoint. I'm basically a punch bag now...but I deserve this. I'm a monster. Monsters deserve pain. I sigh slightly, heading outside. I don't go to the cafeteria anymore. I couldn't face it. I sit on the steps, ignoring the rain tapping my hair. I have no coat, so I shiver. Anything though is better than those judgmental stares. The words that go skin deep. Rain. It causes things to grow. Flowers ....trees both rely on rain. Rain destroys plagues. But it can also drown the ladybug or over saturate the fragile daisy, snapping it. My point is ying and yang. But I'm merely darkness...with no light. I sigh, staring out into the clouded sky. I cant see the sun. All I see is clouds, blocking out light. I don't deserve light, and my existence casts shadows on others. So really I'm being selfish by being alive... Not that I'll end it. Not yet. As soon as I head in insults are hurdled at me. "Hey Monster." Sombra greets. They LONG got payback for Luna and Celestia finding them hitting me. They've created a hate page about me...it's exceedingly popular. He throws me a bag of homework. "Do it. Or you'll end up on hospital." he threatens. I nod, fighting spirit long gone. Still. The pain. Go away. I deserve it, I need it to stop me turning evil again. Maybe...I could help. I keep this idea until I get home. Then I walk into the kitchen and puck up the knife I use to cut veg. I hold it to my arm, the cold metal leaving goosebumps. The edge presses into my skin, pain forming. Blood trickles down my wrist, to my sleeves. I make another, decorating my arm with cuts. I deserve this. I'm a failiure. A monster. I sigh, if someone notices it'll be yet another thing to bully about. Sure, for these two, I can blame a cat. But what about future ones? I sigh, looking down. My eyes lock on my thighs, obscured by leggings. Perfect. I press the knife again, causing the pain I deserve. Rejecting FriendshipFluttershy approaches me, a cautious look on her face. "Hi Sunset." she says. "Hi." I reply, looking up from my school book. "So...um...you're nicer than people think. And um..I was wondering if you'd like to be friends." she says. "I would....but we can't." I say, honestly, looking into her hurt eyes. "Think about it Fluttershy. Everyone hates me, if you're seen being friends with me you could get bullied. A lot. And I don't want you to get hurt because of me. Trust me, Fluttershy, I would love to be friends with you. It'd just end up being bad for you." "But..." she begins, tears in her eyes. "But nothing." I inturupt. "Please Fluttershy. I don't want you getting hurt." She sighs and leaves. I turn around and see a very angry person. He used to be a bit of a bully but Fluttershy taught him the value of friendship. "You were horrible to Fluttershy?" he snaps, his face livid. "Not exactly Discord." I reply, my voice sounding lifeless even to me. "She asked to be friends...I rejected the offer." "Why?" he snaps, lividly. "Only a monster would be horrible to Fluttershy." "It's so that noone hurts her...and I know I'm a monster." I whisper, running off. As soon as I get home I grab my knife, tears running down my face. Everyone, except Fluttershy, knows I'm a monster. I push the knife through my wrist, no longer caring if it scared. M...It instantly bleeds and does nothing to quell my the thoughts of suicide attacking me. O. ..Yet more blood but still no escape from my thoughts. N...Nobody cares. It's been three months since the Fall Formal. If noone cares now, will they ever? S...Ok maybe Fluttershy would but she cares about everyone. Maybe she only offered me friendship out of sympathy. T... Would it just be giving Chrysalis her own way though? E...Do I really care about not giving up anymore. R...I'll last as long as I can...which may not be long. MONSTER What the whole school sees me as. What I know I am, which is now marked into my skin. RunningEveryone already knows I rejected Fluttershy's friendship, upsetting her. It was only three days ago...and they know. No one is happy with me, everyone is more angry than usual. Hurting someone that nice...it's made me even more of a hated bleep. All day people have shoved me in corridors. All day I've felt even more isolated than ever. It's now last lesson, my phone vibrates, notifying me that I've got a message. It's been vibrating all day, I haven't checked yet. I enter my password and scroll through. It's all the same! Hatred...people saying I should kill myself...I close it, trying to swallow back bile. It'll be OK. "So today class we'll be learning about the Sanctuary of Life." our teacher says (it's a Religious Studies Lesson). "This means all life has value." "Shimmer's doesn't." someone retorts . "Yeah, she's a monster." someone adds. "She should just kill herself." another voice states. At once voices agree. The only ones who don't are the teacher and Twilight's friends. Still, they stay silent. You know what. Fine. I'm done. I pick up my bag, a descion made. If everyone will finally be happy...fine. I leave the classroom, shocked silence behind me. Once I'm outside I run. I keep going, even though school is far behind me. The quicker I arrive the quicker...I can leave. My face is marked with tears, spilling. I no longer have the energy to care. I'll be gone soon, then I won't have to hide my pain. The cool wind blows through my hair, pulling it back. I fight on. I can do this. It's for everyone else's good. Where am I going, you ask? This is it. I'm on an old, abandoned block of flats. Noone lives here, I often sit up here to be alone. Now I walk to the edge, looking down on the ally below.
Hit Me, I Won't BreakIt's the day after, I'm working on repairs. Everyone is gathered round, glowering at me. I force myself to focus only on the task. No tears. No. I cried myself too sleep last night, I don't think I have much liquid left. A can hits my shoulder, I glance up and sigh. Chrysalis Chaling, but everyone calls her Chrysalis Changling. This is because one day she'll by nice to you, the next is a knife to the back. She changes her mind as easily as Celestia (back home) changes it from sunny, to the sky being ready for Luna's moon. "Well, the little freak dares show her face here." she sneers. I decide to ignore that statement, I never liked her. She bullies people even more than me. Her face sours at my lack of reaction. She storms over to me, flanked by her friends. All of them...aren't nice. Tirek is crazy violent and manipulative, Sombra is forever blackmailing people to fo his bidding. Tantalus merely sets up things to create fear in you, a cold attack. All of them together...well, you don't want them as enemies. They can make your school life terrible, the only ones they work with are eachother. The second she is near she yanks my hair. I yelp in pain then clamp my teeth together so it won't show too much. She then slaps me across the face. "Did you really think you'd be able to control us?" she spits, clenching her fists. I bite my lip, eyes flickering to the ground. The guilt builds up again, despite the fact that I really hate her. At my silence she punches me in my stomach, multiple times. Then she grips hold of my collar. "Don't ignore me." she hisses, acid in her voice. "You are noone. After what you did anyone could do anything to you and noone would care. You should be greatful someone would even talk to like dirt like you." "Sorry." I whisper. She throws me to the ground, kicking me in the stomach. I feel myself roll up, attempting to defend myself from more injuries. "Sorry won't cut it." Chrysalis states, lividly. "Pathetic. Don't defend yourself you're a stupid worthless nobody." Another kick, this one to my side. It's harder, but I avoid showing pain. They can kick me, hit me, but I won't break. Showing pain will just make this happen more. It'll stop if I don't react...right?
I'm a MonsterI can't eat during lunch for days. It's been two weeks and I'm still being stared at constantly. It's offputting and hurtful. It just reminds me I no longer belong here. I no longer belong anywere. The bruises littering my body from Chrysalis targeting me reminds me. As I pick at my food accusations ring out. "You aren't good enough for that!" someone calls. "Yeah, and you're making everyone feel uncomfortable being in here!" another voice rings out. I chew on my lip, trying to block them out. I'm clearly unsuccessful and my appetite, yet again, fades. I walk out, stares burning into my back. Once I exit a hand clamps on my wrist. Tirek. "What?" I ask irritability. He smirks. Sombra steps out of the shadows. "We have something we want you to do, Sunset." Sombra states. "All our homework, meaning us twos, Tabtsbus' and Chrysalis'" I cross my arms. "No." I reply. Sombra merely smirks. "Figured you'd say that." he says. Tirek grabs hold of my collar and slams me across the lockers. So far only Chrysalis has attacked me, this pain is far worse. He's much stronger. His hand twists my wrist, tears brim at the pain. I force them not to fall as he throws me to the ground, like garbage. "How about now?" Sombra asks, smirking at me. I shake my head. Multiple kicks, to my stomach and side. It's too much, constantly knocking the air out my lungs, making breathing impossible. He stamps hard on my rib cage, I hear a cracking sound. Definitely a few broken...and I can't pay medical bills. He's about to kick me again when two people turn the corner. Luna and Celestia, neither of them look happy. "You two, detention for a month. Get to the isolation room." Celestia instructs. "Yes Princaple Celestia..." they mutter, but they give me a deadly look before leaving. "Are you alright, Sunset?" Luna asks, helping me to my feet. "Yes. Thanks.." I say. I clutch my side as spurt of pain goes through. "Broken?" Luna asks. "Probaly but it's fine." I state. "Go to the nurses office, she'll sort it out then you can head home early." Celestia tells me. "I have detention." I protest. "You can miss it tonight." Luna says, kindly. "Besides you look exsausted." I am exhausted. Every night she-demon me plagues my dreams. I want to be good. But I'm a monster. I have noone to show me the path of good.
My PastI get home. It's a small apartment with no heating and little electricity. I cant afford better. I curl up on my aged sofa, head on my arm. I quietly sing to myself, trying to distract my thoughts from today. From everything. Power was not the main desire Instead it was the approval, what i wanted was approval aquired. I've began to fall, there's no light ahead Darkness found me And left me on my own. Like shadows curling round, in the night I'm broken, won't deny I may have no future, so I'm told But here me when say That put my past behind me Because my past is not my way. Tears burn my eyes. I wasn't always like this. I want to be nice but I have noone to teach me how. I'm a monster. No one wants to be friends with a monster. I wrap my arms around my chest. All I do...is fail. My past, it only proves that. Whywhywhy. Why am I me?! OK. Calm down. Breathe. Perfectly calm. I'll be OK. I've always picked myself up before, why not this time? There's always hope...even if things have always been cursed for me....Maybe I should explain... Flashback-Age; 10 "Wrong! Do it again!" A yellow unicorn with light green hair yells. "But I'm tired..." I protest. "Being tired is for losers! Do you want to carry on being a loser for the rest of your life?" she yells. "No mother." I reply. We're doing magic training. It's gone midnight but mother says I have to get this right. "Don't look so miserable!" a red unicorn with darker red hair snaps. "You are too cause that emotion in others. That's how you succeed. Not that you will, Sunset Shimmer. You'll never amount to anything." "B-but Father..." I protest. "But nothing! Try again!" he yells. End Flashback They always pushed me like that, I ended up like them. Insulting to get my way. It hurt me so why did I do it? Have I always been a monster? Ugh. Everyone could do better than me. Freaking Tirek could. I have no potential for goodness, otherwise I wouldn't of turned into my parents. Sure...they wanted to push me to my limits...but it made it hard for me to trust anyone. At least Father was right...I'll never amount to anything. Flashback-Age; 13.5 I can't do the spell. I strain myself, no luck. "Sunset, we can't advance until you master this and it's been months." Celestia says to me. "I'm wondering if you have a backup career which isn't entirely magic based." Is she...giving up? Am I that much of a failiure. I run out the room not replying. The bitterness from my parents overspills. I cant stay here, where no one has faith in me..and I know about the portal to another dimension. A fresh start. Just what I need. Noone needs me here, not even Celestia... End Flashback Flashback-Age; 17 Twilight pulls me out the crater. I couldn't fight the darkness, all I wanted was to show Celestia my power. Instead I tried to enslave people. FAILIURE. WHY DO I KEEP FAILING EVERYONE?! Escpecially...myself. "Im so sorry," I sob. She hugs me. She tells me her friends will he friends with me...its a lie. Albeit a kind one... "Oh now you feel bad" Dash snaps. "You didn't feel bad when you tore apart our friendship!" I did that three months ago...For one reason. I was jelous. I've never had any friends..." End Flashback And I never will... The song is basically 'My Past is Not Today' but I changed the words. Was my edit of the song ok?
InterventionEverything is burning. My ribs, my stomach... A burst of agony, a rapid kick into my already pain filled form. A stamp, an audible yelp escapes my lips. One lands on my thighs, making my eyes water. There's already a lot of cuts there, seeing as I've been using my knife for a couple of weeks now. Chrysalis laughs at me, before kicking me again. Her face looks malicious as she carries on her attack. "So, Monster, concidered killing yourself yet?" Chrysalis asks, snidely. Yes. I have. Every day, I think about it. It seems...the best choice. I'm just afraid. What if someone found me before I died? It would mean failure...again. "S...stop." a voice instructs. I look up through blurry vision and see Fluttershy. "The monster deserves it." Chrysalis snaps. Fluttershy then does something she's famous for, the stare. "Leave her alone!" she instructs, stepping in front of me. Chrysalis gives a last hateful look to me, then walks off. Did not see that coming. Fluttershy offers her hand to me, concern written across her face. I accept the help. "Thanks Fluttershy." I say, winsing slightly. Her kind intervention is surprising but her kindness is her main trait. "Maybe we should tell Luna and Celestia about this." she suggests. I shake my head. "It'll only annoy them." I say. "Besides I deserve it." "No one deserves to hurt." she quietly replies, looking at me seriously. "I do." I whisper, my eyes flickering to the floor. I'm surprised when she hugs me, gently. "You don't." she states, gently. She reaches into her bag and takes out her bunny. I think he's called Angel. "Here, hold this. Holding a bunny always makes me feel better." she says. "Why you being so nice to me?" I ask, as I hold Angel. "I don't like seeing people upset." she replies. "Besides...they could've really hurt you!" "Thanks Fluttershy." I say. "No problem." she says, leaving. For the first time since the Fall Formal I smile.
Little StepOne little step. Then it'll be okay. I've written a letter, tucked into my jacket pocket. The height is disorienting, the ground so far. My foot rests on the edge, then I take a small step back. I'm scared. I want this. I want it over more than a anything, so why can't I step forward. Is it because I'm a failiure, unable to do even this. I breath slowly through my nose, something I resent. I don't want my breath to carry on. Resolve steps in. I screw my eyes shut and take a little step forward into empty space. As I fall my eyes fly open, watching my shadow grow. The fall...is terrifying. I accidently let out a scream. Stupid...now someone could find me before I die. The wind slaps my body. I wonder if there's an afterlife....I hope not. It'd, in my case, probably suck as much as life. I'd be better off rotting. So near the ground now. So near the end. A tear escapes. I never achieved anything...unless I die. Then I would've finally completed an aim. As the ground is only seconds away I prepare to greet death, I prepare for my heart to stop... Impact. Pain. I've never felt something this agonising. My body is in a crumpled heap, leg resting on the other. I cant move. My lungs feel like they're being burnt in acid. My vision is blurry, from tears. I smell a rusty salt oder. Blood. My blood. I look at the sky. It's sunset. The sky alive with colours and warmth. The shadows it casts have not seemed threatening before and they still don't. This is...my last Sunset. It's a Sunset's last sunset. The colours fill my eyes for a bit longer, then a cloud fills my vision. I finally close my eyes, alone but finally at peace, and give into blissful nothingness.
News3rd Person Celestia rubs the the crease between her eyebrows, not at all wanting to deliver this announcement to her students. One of them is gone from their group... forever. Luna puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Want me to do this?" she asks. Celestia shakes her head, memories had been plaguing her since last night. As the girl had no family she'd been asked to confirm the body... The broken, dead, body of Sunset Shimmer. She sighs, slightly, looking at the crowd of waiting students. All seem relaxed, probaly expecting good news. A showcase or another party as such. She takes a deep breath and begins. "I'm afraid a student passed away last night." she begins. Imnedetly people look around, trying to see who is missing. "The student was Sunset Shimmer." she continues. "The cause of death...was suicide." A shocked silence rings out. Rarity, Dash, A.J, Pinkie and Fluttershy exchange shocked looks. Twilight had asked them to befriend her. Only Fluttershy had tried. Now... They sit up staight, eyes locked on Celestia, awaiting more infomation. It was so silent you could hear a feather fall. The world seemed to hold its breath in acknowledgment of the sun's setting. "She left a note, which I'm going to read now." she says. To Canterlot High, Well. You finally won. I give up. You were right. I am just a monster...One that doesn't deserve life. I did so many terrible things, I guess you don't want an explanation. But...I'm giving you one. You deserve to know why I did it all, after all it effected all of you . You may not care, you will probaly still hate me, but at least you'll finally know the truth. So, if you got this note, here it is. The truth... I never wanted to brainwash you. All I ever wanted the crown for was to return to Equestria and prove I had magical potential. Obviously it backfired. In all honesty I should've gone back to Equestria with Twilight. Started over. It would've stopped you having me around, extremely unfortunate for you. As I wanted it for my own benifot it...sorta....controlled me. Do remember I started having tears fall then I turned into a demon, seemingly happy with my transformation. In fact I'm happy I was defeated, it stopped me doing something even worse. But, I promise, I didn't want to hurt anyone. One person tried to be friends with me, and I appreciate it. If I wasn't afraid of you all hurting her if she was around me. She's too nice to deserve physical pain...let alone all the insults. If I hurt her I'm sorry. All I wanted was for someone to have a better time than me. School is hell, if everyone hates you. Hits you. Insults you. Even if you hate someone, even if they're worse than me... please. Don't do it to anyone. It made me give up. Still...I deserved it. Even my parents said I'd never amount to anything. Enjoy Life Goodbye Sunset Shimmer There was a silence. Tears are in so many eyes. Nearly all. None of them could stand the fact they'd broke someone so completely. "The funeral will be Saturday at 3:00pm. The whole school is welcome to attend, after all there's noone else to arrange it..." Celestia states. If course...they all go. Each brings a white lily to put on her casket. The flower of purity. Nothing they could do would be good enough though. After all she is...and always will... be gone. A aaaaand the end :) Good? Bad?
Missed OpportunityWith a moon's full height Twilight is gone, Spike along with her. At once eyes turn to me, livid anger and hate glowing at me. I feel sick to my stomach, a feeling of agony clutches my heart. What was I thinking? Scratches decorate me, along with filth from the crater I'd been in. I try look away but the glares surround me, burning my chest. In all honesty the teenager brainwashed thing only occurred to me after I became a demon. Before...All I wanted was to prove to Celestia was I was powerful. Instead I humiliated myself, now I have nothing. Although Twilight's friends said they'd help... Despite this slightly more cheerful thought, tears prick, washing down my face. "Oh now you feel bad." Rainbow Dash snaps. "You didn't feel bad when you tore apart our friendship!" Her loyal reputation for her friends proceeds her. She's right, but I flinch at her harsh comment. "Or when you insulted us and our families ways." Applejack adds.When did I....oh. Right. "You sabotaged me when I ran for Spring Fling." Rarity continues. "Plus sabotaged the party." Pinkie finishes. Only Fluttershy remains quiet but even her usually kind face is cold. The tears fall more at all the reminders. "Forget about us trying to be friends with you." Applejack states, the five walking off. I feel my shoulders slump as everyone disperses, leaving me with the damage. Luna and Celestia are also giving me cold looks. I sniff slightly, wiping my eyes with my sleeve. "What will my punishment be?" I ask, my voice hollow. Already my confidence has escaped, leaving me vulnerable and breakable. "Firstly you'll repair the damages." Celestia sternly says. "Then detention every night for six months." Fair enough. I nod in understanding, but disliking it. I mean noone would like it. I missed an opportunity. I could've returned to Equestria, started over. Noone would've recognised me. Instead I stayed here, where everyone hates me. But...I guess...it is what I deserve. In fact I deserve worse, which is a truly negative thought. I don't care though. It is negative, a complete mirror of my damn choices which lead to this. I cant let Snips and Snails idolise me anymore. What if they wind up like me? I'm not forcing that on anyone. Ultimately it'll go wrong, unbearably so. I have enough guilt as it is. I cant cope with more. Author's Note Remember. Not copywrite. From my wattpad account.
Skin DeepI look at my locker. Written across it is 'Monster', 'Freak' and 'Waste of life'. I sigh and get some spray and a cloth out my locker. It's been two months since the Fall Formal. The locker writing has been going on for six weeks. Each day positivity is becoming increasingly difficult to pinpoint. I'm basically a punch bag now...but I deserve this. I'm a monster. Monsters deserve pain. I sigh slightly, heading outside. I don't go to the cafeteria anymore. I couldn't face it. I sit on the steps, ignoring the rain tapping my hair. I have no coat, so I shiver. Anything though is better than those judgmental stares. The words that go skin deep. Rain. It causes things to grow. Flowers ....trees both rely on rain. Rain destroys plagues. But it can also drown the ladybug or over saturate the fragile daisy, snapping it. My point is ying and yang. But I'm merely darkness...with no light. I sigh, staring out into the clouded sky. I cant see the sun. All I see is clouds, blocking out light. I don't deserve light, and my existence casts shadows on others. So really I'm being selfish by being alive... Not that I'll end it. Not yet. As soon as I head in insults are hurdled at me. "Hey Monster." Sombra greets. They LONG got payback for Luna and Celestia finding them hitting me. They've created a hate page about me...it's exceedingly popular. He throws me a bag of homework. "Do it. Or you'll end up on hospital." he threatens. I nod, fighting spirit long gone. Still. The pain. Go away. I deserve it, I need it to stop me turning evil again. Maybe...I could help. I keep this idea until I get home. Then I walk into the kitchen and puck up the knife I use to cut veg. I hold it to my arm, the cold metal leaving goosebumps. The edge presses into my skin, pain forming. Blood trickles down my wrist, to my sleeves. I make another, decorating my arm with cuts. I deserve this. I'm a failiure. A monster. I sigh, if someone notices it'll be yet another thing to bully about. Sure, for these two, I can blame a cat. But what about future ones? I sigh, looking down. My eyes lock on my thighs, obscured by leggings. Perfect. I press the knife again, causing the pain I deserve.
Rejecting FriendshipFluttershy approaches me, a cautious look on her face. "Hi Sunset." she says. "Hi." I reply, looking up from my school book. "So...um...you're nicer than people think. And um..I was wondering if you'd like to be friends." she says. "I would....but we can't." I say, honestly, looking into her hurt eyes. "Think about it Fluttershy. Everyone hates me, if you're seen being friends with me you could get bullied. A lot. And I don't want you to get hurt because of me. Trust me, Fluttershy, I would love to be friends with you. It'd just end up being bad for you." "But..." she begins, tears in her eyes. "But nothing." I inturupt. "Please Fluttershy. I don't want you getting hurt." She sighs and leaves. I turn around and see a very angry person. He used to be a bit of a bully but Fluttershy taught him the value of friendship. "You were horrible to Fluttershy?" he snaps, his face livid. "Not exactly Discord." I reply, my voice sounding lifeless even to me. "She asked to be friends...I rejected the offer." "Why?" he snaps, lividly. "Only a monster would be horrible to Fluttershy." "It's so that noone hurts her...and I know I'm a monster." I whisper, running off. As soon as I get home I grab my knife, tears running down my face. Everyone, except Fluttershy, knows I'm a monster. I push the knife through my wrist, no longer caring if it scared. M...It instantly bleeds and does nothing to quell my the thoughts of suicide attacking me. O. ..Yet more blood but still no escape from my thoughts. N...Nobody cares. It's been three months since the Fall Formal. If noone cares now, will they ever? S...Ok maybe Fluttershy would but she cares about everyone. Maybe she only offered me friendship out of sympathy. T... Would it just be giving Chrysalis her own way though? E...Do I really care about not giving up anymore. R...I'll last as long as I can...which may not be long. MONSTER What the whole school sees me as. What I know I am, which is now marked into my skin.
RunningEveryone already knows I rejected Fluttershy's friendship, upsetting her. It was only three days ago...and they know. No one is happy with me, everyone is more angry than usual. Hurting someone that nice...it's made me even more of a hated bleep. All day people have shoved me in corridors. All day I've felt even more isolated than ever. It's now last lesson, my phone vibrates, notifying me that I've got a message. It's been vibrating all day, I haven't checked yet. I enter my password and scroll through. It's all the same! Hatred...people saying I should kill myself...I close it, trying to swallow back bile. It'll be OK. "So today class we'll be learning about the Sanctuary of Life." our teacher says (it's a Religious Studies Lesson). "This means all life has value." "Shimmer's doesn't." someone retorts . "Yeah, she's a monster." someone adds. "She should just kill herself." another voice states. At once voices agree. The only ones who don't are the teacher and Twilight's friends. Still, they stay silent. You know what. Fine. I'm done. I pick up my bag, a descion made. If everyone will finally be happy...fine. I leave the classroom, shocked silence behind me. Once I'm outside I run. I keep going, even though school is far behind me. The quicker I arrive the quicker...I can leave. My face is marked with tears, spilling. I no longer have the energy to care. I'll be gone soon, then I won't have to hide my pain. The cool wind blows through my hair, pulling it back. I fight on. I can do this. It's for everyone else's good. Where am I going, you ask? This is it. I'm on an old, abandoned block of flats. Noone lives here, I often sit up here to be alone. Now I walk to the edge, looking down on the ally below.
