It's a cold night after all...
The cold wind of winter zipped through the doors of the balcony and rested in the room below, Posters of ponies in tight attire reflected in the pristine marble floor. A beautiful bed shined by the absence of its owner. It will take more than a few hours for the wish of the mattress to be fulfilled, or so it seemed, as the figure of a purple dragon rested on the handrail of the balcony, his eyes fixated on the bright full moon above.
The dragon stared at the celestial body with half-lidded eyes, melancholy surrounding his features while he tried to find the answer to his questions inside the eternal shining provided by the floating rock.
His hold on the balustrade tightened as the warm feeling from the inside of the castle collided with the cold surrounding his scales. He rubbed his fins cautiously: sudden changes of temperature have made him dizzy on past occasions.
The clip-clop sound of hooves moving through the room was dismissed by the drake as he took care of his hearing sensors. However, he was conscious that somepony entered his chamber. The guess of the drake was proved right for him after hearing the familiar voice of one of her friends:
“Spike, what are you doing here? The party is gonna end in a couple of hours,” She asked him before making her way to the balcony. Her fur and body shivered upon contact with the snow-covered floor. “Gracious Luna, Discord reverted Tartarus or something? This place is like hell on ice…”
The dragon didn’t respond and kept staring at the beautiful moonshine, The mare paused for a moment, her eyes now engrossed in the dragon. “Spike, is everything alright?”
The drake tilted his head to the side, “Don’t worry, Starlight… am just thinking…”
The pale-pink mare drawn her distance to the drake, her arched brows hinting curiosity. “About…?” she asked.
The dragon breathed heavily, his head tilting downwards as he responded, “My parents…”
The mare glanced off, her left hoof rubbing her chest. “Mind some company?” she asked, her tone softer than before. Spike glanced to the mare with a faint smile and nodded.
“Make yourself comfortable.”
Starlight’s horn illuminated, and with a flick of her magic, most of the snow covering the area disappeared, she approached the handrail and rested her chest and forehooves on the surface.
The young unicorn gazed to the glimmering moon, memories of the past coursed through her in the blink of an eye: isolation, loneliness, sadness. She breathed heavily… those were Feelings long concealed inside her psyche, feelings too powerful for her to bear at the moment. She tried to dismiss those dreadful thoughts and turned to the little dragon, her friend, a being that so many times has made his best for the goodwill of others. The fear made her oblivious of her previous acknowledgments, making the melancholic face of the drake a harsh drink to take, where the liquid was her droll and the cold night was the alcohol burning her throat.
“Twilight wanted to tell me about it…” Spike said, his eyes still distant. “About your past… your parents…”
The unicorn felt a shiver run down her spine, the feeling of a needle piercing through her heart started to swell. She moved closer to the drake and to the heat that his inner fire provided. She didn’t want to talk about it. She wanted to make the past fade the same way her previous reputation did. But even still, she knew that Spike was someone she could talk about the matter; she knew that the dragon was trustworthy, and sometimes wise, but most importantly: someone kind and honest.
Her train of thoughts was interrupted when the warm feeling of fire dancing like a bird in its birdhouse became stronger than before. It was at that moment that she realized the fixation of her eyes on the ground, and most importantly, the claw patting her head and mane: she had move all the way to Spike’s lap while rambling thoughts inside her head.
Spike glanced at the purple and teal mane below him, and while caressing it, he moved it to the side to have a better view of the mare: it was like looking a mirror. He glanced at her eyes and detailed a reflection of himself, his past self…
A Spike that desperately wanted to be dead before even being conceived.
“You know how it seems sometimes like foals can hear and understand the words from outside the womb?” Spike asked, his tone less distant than before. The mare nodded and he proceeded, “Dragons can do that to…” He paused, and so did his ministrations, “I could hear my mother’s voice, calm, serene, Just like my father’ but less bold,” He took his time to breathe again. It was getting harder to conceal his feelings, “There were other eggs around me. Twelve to be exact, I can’t remember how each one sounded but I do know that each one made a different sound after being torn apart.”
Spike took the unicorns by the check and pulled her closer to him, “I was the last unborn. Unhatched. I tried to wake from my slumber, I fought, then cried, then yelled; I tried everything I could… but failed anyway,” Spike stopped. A tear; a single tear had managed to break free from his confinement. But that wasn’t the worst part.
“The cheers and calls of them were the only thing giving me strength… and were the ones who made the silence more hurtful afterward-”
Starlight suddenly broke from her stoic state and launched herself to the drake, hugging him with all her might. Tears flowed down her fur and into the drake’s scales. It was at this moment that Spike noticed that his previous tears weren’t the only thing that escaped from his hold.
His feelings did as well.
“They left me a week after… My mother called me unworthy… My father, a disgrace… and to top it off, my brothers laughed at me while they flew off… I was nothing but a weakling that deserved to die for the sake of my race…” Spike stammered, he could feel the cracks coming, he knew that his voice will break if he dared to keep talking but there was nothing he could do to stop it.
“T-their laughs haunted me for four weeks and five days… But then came some-“ He gasped for air, his claw clutching against his chest, it was like all the air inside his lungs disappeared. He managed to breathe again, but as a consequence, his tears started to rise in number. “Something worse: the silence, the solitude, the fear… and the trauma,” Spike tightened the hug, sobs escaping through his lips as the cold night tried to turn the soiled scales and fur into crystal sharps. “I consider my memory skills as a gift… but that was the only time they failed me. Their words, cheers, jokes, everything faded...”
Starlight parted slightly from the hug. Everything was so sudden for her… all the emotions, all the tears, and the warmth shared in the course of a couple of minutes. She wanted to take a break… but she feared that by pausing this moment, the possibility of resuming it would be consigned to oblivion.
“I… Know the feelings, Spike… I can use your fingers to count the number of times my parents shared their time with me… I never enjoyed a holiday with them or any significant moment that wasn’t my birthdays… it seemed like the only time they recalled the fact that they had a daughter was the day in which I was born.”
Spike glanced up, tears enhancing the pristine appearance of purple eyes against green ones, “No, Starlight, that’s not true. You had it worse than me,” Spike refuted, his brows furrowing with conviction as he added, ”I waited for two long years before being hatched, but that was when my suffering ended. A whole new family welcomed me before I could even comprehend what was happening…” He laughed.
Spike turned to tears again, tears of joy accompanied with a cracked smile, he tried to clean himself but the act only made him remember that what was happening was real. He was alive. A family welcomed him in its bosom. Every time he remembered those first days it felt like a dream.
He gasped for air once again. His smile still present as he managed to gather enough strength to talk.
“Good grief, only Celestia and I remember the number of days I spent crying out of joy after my hatchling.”
Starlight detailed the vivid joy being expelled by the drake, images of a baby Spike being carried by Celestia flowed through her thoughts. Her mouth quivered as the same images were replaced with the little moments she had with her own family.
“I… I wanted to feel like the others, being appreciated, being loved…” her eyes started to travel down, “but destiny had other things waiting for me… that’s why I depicted the differences that make us unique…”
Her chest puffed up as a feeling of determination swelled inside her next words, “Some ponies will live happily that’s a fact, but how many are suffering because of this unique traits? Can’t we all share the same fate? To be loved, to be happy…” Her conviction faded, a shining gleam in her eyes was the only trail left from her outburst, “that’s all I really wanted… but…”
Spike placed a finger on her lips, muttering her with care before placing his claws on her drenched cheeks, “You don’t have to apologize for your past mistakes. I- We have already forgiven you. The only thing you need to care about now is how to achieve that dream properly, Starlight. But, you will need more than a few spells and a lot of friends for that. You’ll need someone that can help you, someone that can believe in you, and most importantly, someone to remember what is your whole ordeal for.”
The mare arched a brow at the dragon, his voice soothed her heart and his warmth calmed her thoughts, yet the words lacked of a primordial meaning. Her cheeks flushed red as a random thought snapped inside her mind: did Spike had feelings for her? That was impossible, he was rooting for the fashionista.
Nevertheless, she had to make sure.
“What are you talking about?” She asked, confusion louder in her tone than the awkwardness of her thoughts.
“A family, Starlight, you’ll need a family that can support your decision and dreams. That’s the reason I was here pondering about my past. Just like Twilight, the girls and Celestia made me part of their family, I was wondering if you would like to be a part too. That is what I want to gift you for heartwarming’s eve.”
“A new family?”
“And a big one at that,” Spike smiled at her, his claws swiping the remaining tears on the mares fur.
Starlight bounced at him, a tight hug was the only thing that could express the emotions flowing through her. The dragon took the hug with an earnest hum.
“Pinkie will be sad after I tell her there is no possible present that can outmatch yours…” The unicorn commented mockingly.
“She will keep trying though” he snickered, “that is pinks for you.”
Spike and Starlight parted from the hug and made her way out of the handrail her happy strode interrupted by an infamous object in front of them.
A mistletoe
“That wasn’t there before… Ahg” Starlight grunted, the cold of the night enhancing the blush present on her cheeks. “Stupid spell, I told Twilight that it was a bad idea…”
“Well, you can teleport us to the party instead, right?” Spike proposed, his worried look showing how unenthusiastic he was, “don’t get it wrong, but I don’t feel like ruining our previous moment with an awkward kiss.”
“I had the same thought,” Starlight commented before charging magic inside her horn. A blink of an eye later, both creatures disappeared.
“Another year as my number one assistant,” A purple alicorn said, her half-lidded eyes gazing down at the worn out dragon resting on his bed, “Are you trying to pull a record or something?” she asked with a playful smirk.
“It’s not my fault ‘am so good at my job,” Spike said arrogantly, a toothy smile forming on his features afterward. “You by the other hoof: Twilight’s trademark dancing style is becoming quite a legend in Equestria,” he joked back.
“As long as I enjoy it, I will keep dancing that way,” Twilight said, a warm puff of air being expelled from her nostrils. Her eyes fixated on the drake once more, a moan escaped her lips as the deprivation of sleep started to take an effect on the mare.
“Luna’s realm is awaiting me, see you tomorrow, my best friend, I hope you have a good night,” She said with a soft tone before releasing another yawn.
“Love you, Spike,” She kissed the drake’s forehead.
“Love you, Twi,” He kissed her back on the chin.
With no further action or words made, the alicorn made her way out of the room. Leaving the drake alone.
Or so it seemed…
“I know you are there, Star,” Spike said with a cheerful tone.
The door of the room was open once again, a pink unicorn on the other side, her head resting in the entrance. The mare scratched the back of her head, her eyes darting down as if she was trying to find something in the marble floor... or rather inside her thoughts.
“I just wanted to give you the ‘goodnights’ and all that stuff,” she muttered.
Spike sat on the mattress and smiled at the mare, his eyes were struggling to remain open but he didn’t mind the effort. “Then come here…”
The mare waddled her way inside, her magic enveloping the door and closing it in the process. She looked at the drake expectantly as the events prior her entrance replayed in her head. There was something in the way they looked each other, how Spike and Twilight talked, how the whole scene gave the impression of expelling a warm and soothing aura.
She wanted to be part of that feeling. But she didn’t have the words to express it, she didn’t even understood-
“I love you, Starlight,” Spike said, his lips colliding with the mare’s muzzle. The collision broke the dazzling thoughts twirling inside her head.
A single tear welled in her eyeball before her mouth formed a quivering smile, “I l-love you too, Spike,” she stammered, her hooves surrounding the drake’s body before embracing him in a tight, yet soft, hug.
She was now part of the feeling.
Love.
The love of a family.
“Goodnight, Spike.”
