Daughter of the Stars

A thousand years ago, Celestia had banished her younger sister to the moon. Now Luna was home. She had thought that once Luna had returned, the burning feel of shame and guilt would leave. But to Celestia's dismay, those feelings and thoughts didn't vanish like she had naively hoped. But rather on that sun kissed morning, Tia felt worse then she had in a very long time.

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, Canterlot was buzzing, and yet Celestia did not enjoy any of the normal pleasures of the day.

Celestia sat at her mahogany desk that was placed inside her own personal chambers. She was supposed to be responding to the many nobles who had sent letters demanding one thing or another from her, but she found herself incapable of doing so.

Celestia sighed as she put her quill back into the inkwell. She knew her limits and when she had to put down her work and now she felt like she desperately needed one. After setting aside the papers in an orderly fashion, she took off her regalia and set it on a stand. After putting away her regalia, Celestia went down on her bed with none of her usual grace.
She then just lay there, her heard resting lightly on a pillow and her wings spread out beside her. As she lay there she pondered lunch earlier that day.

FLASHBACK

Celestia had pretended not to notice Luna at the door so that Luna could approach her in her own time. But in the few moments that Luna stood in the doorway, her heart had pounded What if Luna doesn't want to speak with me? Is Luna still angry? I wouldn't blame her if she was, I sent her away for thousand years! It was necessary to protect Equestria but.....I should have tried harder to reason with her! It was my own ignorance and blindness that drove her away and she paid for my mistakes.

Her thoughts were quickly put to rest as Luna came to sit beside her. Celestia looked up from the newspaper that she hadn't really been reading, and pretended to just notice Luna, but in a calm manner. When she asked Luna if she would like something to eat, and was relieved when Luna nodded. She felt a sharp pang of guilt when Luna spoke of how she had forgotten the taste of food, even centuries of practiced and perfected emotional calm could not stop guilt showing on her face

Celestia had tried to take on a graceful air and announce food was ready, and though she had a modicum of success, she was sure Luna could tell. After lunch was finished she took a sip of tea to steady herself pressing on and asking Luna to come with her to choose Luna's personal staff. The thought of Luna unprotected or needing anyone, but unable to ask or be noticed worried her. And it was not so much as being noticed, but rather staff not knowing what to do and being at a loss, Celestia didn't want Luna feeling unloved again, even in the small way of staff. She was so absorbed in these thoughts that it took Luna near actively dismissing the idea for later. Celestia draped a wing over Luna, more needing the physical reassurance that Luna was actually there then for comfort.

Celestia was trying so hard to not appear too concerned and yet not too distant. It was an uneasy balance that Celestia didn't want to tip in either direction to much in fear of alienating her beloved sister. Too soon though, Luna left for her room, leaving her alone in the massive dining hall. She felt like Luna was hiding something from her, but who could blame her? Once Luna was gone and all the staff was out of the room, Celestia let her head fall on the table, her rainbow mane flowing around her.

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Celestia was trying so hard to keep up the facade of being overjoyed but distant. From the first time Luna got to the Palace, Celestia wanted nothing more then to just hold her sister close, but she couldn't. She wanted so badly to apologize over and over until she heard and until this awful pain of shame washed away.

Her actions all those years ago were truly shameful, and so Celestia had devoted herself to improving Equestria for her sisters return. But now she was back and Celestia had no idea on how to reconnect with Luna or how Luna was even holding up. Was she having nightmares? could she still hear Nightmare Moon? did Luna need to talk about her time on the Moon? was it all of those things? was it none of them? She had never felt more helpless then trying to help her sister recently.

Celestia knew that anypony would say "just go talk to her. Say something, anything, just keep a conversation" easier said than done! She knew that she couldn't leave things like this with Luna for long, she would have to try to start and hold a conversation without it either angering Luna or either of them crying. Again, easier said then done. Luna always did have a short fuse.

Celestia got up from her bed and quickly put her regalia back on. She adjusted it, took a deep breath and went back to the letters. As trivial as they would seem compared to everything else going on, it was part of the responsibilities of being princess.