Chapters So You Find a Pony in a Box
It all started with a particularly perfect morning, on a particularly perfect Saturday. The sun was shining brightly. The birds were singing melodiously. Even the wild, stray dog, which would normally chase anybody within its sight, was taking a nap under the trees, too lazy to chase anyone.
Bert smiled to himself as he walked down the street. He was doing his daily morning walk, a routine he has been doing for the past three months. It was a good neighbourhood to take morning walks in, if one could ignore that wild, stray dog that chases anybody within its sight that is.
He was almost done with his walk. He was just a few more blocks away from his house. Inside his mind, Bert was already planning just what sort of breakfast he was going to make himself when he reaches the front door. He smacked his lips at the idea of crispy, sweet bacon and fluffy pancakes topped with maple syrup.
Bacon pancakes, Bert thought dreamily, quickening his pace. He hoped he still has the ingredients at home. Nothing must go wrong on this beautiful morning. He would hate to have it ruined by the lack of bacon and pancakes.
But it was a particularly perfect morning. On a particularly perfect Saturday. Everything was going smooth and without trouble. Nothing was out of place. Nothing was going wrong. It was just a very, very perfect Saturday morning.
Except for...
Bert stopped dead in his tracks. Something was out of place. Something was different. And he hated it when change occurred too fast or without warning.
Something big. Something brown and square-shaped was placed right in front of his house, blocking his way in to the comforts of his home. A box. A big box.
Bert cautiously approached the box, staring at it with narrowed eyes. He wasn't expecting mail. And he was certain he had not made any purchases online when he was drunk a few days ago. So why on earth was there a huge box seated between him and his front door?
A bomb? No, thought Bert, it couldn't be. That would be overthinking things. He doesn't have any enemies. Or so he thought.
A gift from his parents or friends? No, that couldn't be it either. He hasn't kept in touch with his parents for over a year. Why would they send something to him now? And he could scratch out friends too, for he doesn't have much. And they weren't the kind of friends that would just send big, brown boxes to each other just to surprise them.
Bert tried lifting the box up from the ground. It was rather heavy. Putting it back down, Bert contemplated on whether or not he should open the box here and now or carry it inside his house. He chose the latter; he wasn't keen on having his neighbours spying on him through their windows.
Grabbing the box from below, Bert tensed his muscles and was just about ready to lift when suddenly he heard a rustling sound. A sound that came from inside the box.
Bert jumped back. There was something moving inside the box. Something alive . His mind raced as he thought of the possibilities of what sort of creature could be inside the box. A cat? A lion? A spawn of Satan?
The rustling continued. The box even shook a little. Whatever was inside it seemed to be searching for a way out. A variety of scenarios started playing in Bert's mind as he imagined what would happen if the box creature broke free. Would it bring about a hundred years of eternal darkness? Would it summon its master from an unknown part of the observable universe?
Bert shook his head. He should really stop reading stories about Elder Gods.
Bert took a step forward. The box was shaking even more than before, yet no sound or cry could be heard. Just a lot rustling and box shaking.
He braced himself and clenched his right hand into a fist. He wasn't planning on letting the creature have him for breakfast.
Raising his fist, ready to strike, Bert opened the box.
What was inside caught him by surprise.
It was a pony. A pony in a box.
And he was clueless on what to do next.
He wasn't sure how he did it but, somehow, Bert managed to carry the box into his home. The box now sat on the floor of his living room, along with the pony still inside it.
It took him a while to register what he saw back outside. But the first thing that popped into his mind was that the creature was indeed a pony. That was what he thought, at least.
For one thing, Bert has never seen a pony in person before, let alone a yellow pony. With wings . And a pink -coloured mane and tail. What sort of equine has that sort of features?
Another thing was that the yellow, winged pony could also talk . Bert scratched the back of his neck. It actually was more of a scream. When their eyes met, he swore the pony just went "ARRRGGGHHHHHHH!" and fainted.
Do ponies scream in terror before they faint? Bert asked himself. He went over to the box to check up on the pony that fainted.
It wasn't moving. But its chest was rising up and falling down in rhythmic fashion. Bert was pretty sure it was alive. Carefully, he prodded the yellow pony on the belly. Its fur was soft to the touch. He gave the pony another poke, a little bit harder than before.
The pony groaned, but did not open its eyes. At least Bert's theory on the pony's state of mortality was confirmed. He studied the creature more closely, gently poking the pony here and there, as if still trying to convince himself that the pony was indeed there and not just a figment of his imagination.
Slowly, his poking turned to touching. The pony's fur was surprisingly soft and amazing to feel. Bert ran his hand back and forth across the belly of the creature, taking pleasure in the sensation coming off from rubbing the fur. His hand moved from the belly towards its back where the wings were. The feathers on it were real enough; Bert had the idea that the wings were possibly fake.
From the wings, Bert's hand descended even lower, towards the rump. There was a sort of mark or tattoo on the side of the pony's rump, which, to Bert's amazement, was a drawing of three pink butterflies.
The pony moaned as Bert rubbed his hand on its rump several times. The pink butterflies didn't seem to have been branded. There were no scars or any signs of burns. It almost seemed as if the butterflies were one with the pony's fur.
Still confused, Bert lifted the pony's hind leg and looked underneath. The lack of a pair of orbs plus a lengthy sausage was proof that the pony wasn't male.
Bert coughed. There was a tingling feeling in his fingers. A sort of tingling that made fingers itchy. Itchy in a way that could only be satisfied with more touching. He was still holding the pony's leg in the air.
Looking down, Bert started questioning his morals. Would it be considered wrong or sick if his fingers started venturing to certain places? To places human fingers never should go to? To do things with fingers on certain places normally not ventured upon?
In other words, would it be weird if he touched a pony's hoo-haw?
He swallowed. Maybe... he thought, maybe just a little bit... a little... touch... There wasn't anyone else in his house anyway. No one would know.
Lowering his hand, Bert tried to steady his rapid breathing and sudden jump in heartbeats. He was getting excited. His heart was pounding strongly against his chest. His hand started to tremble.
Calming himself down, he positioned his hand just inches away from the pink taco.
"Urm..."
Bert shouted in surprise and took a huge leap back. He crashed into the wall behind him. "I'm sorry!" he shouted out, struggling to stand up. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do anything!"
The yellow pony with the pink mane and tail looked at him from within the box. She didn't say anything. It seemed she was trying to put as much box between them as possible. Only her head, eyes and mane were visible. Everything else was hidden away by the box.
"Urm... hi, i guess?" Bert said, trying to break the awkward silence between them. He couldn't believe he almost played with a pony's banana basket. He took a step forward. "I'm not sure if you could talk or anything." Bert said, intending it for him more than the pony. "But... my name's Bert." he hesitated. "What's your name?"
The pony stared at him with fearful eyes. But Bert swore he heard her speak.
"Fluttershy."
Author's Note
What do you do when you're bored? Write something random.
So You Find a Pony in a Box
"Hello?"
"Hey, Lee." Bert spoke through his smartphone, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's me."
"Am I supposed to know who you are?" said a voice after a moment of silence. The speaker sounded annoyed.
"It's Bert." said Bert pointedly. "Have you already forgotten who I am?"
Another moment of silence. "No. Though I'm wishing I did." said the voice named Lee. "You better have a good reason for calling me. I'm currently in a party and my companions are not the type who enjoys being interrupted. Especially before a raid."
Bert rolled his eyes. "Still playing your games I see." he said, glancing behind to where the occupied box was. The pony, who has called herself 'Fluttershy' was staring at him with questioning eyes. "Listen --- I need a fav---"
"We haven't spoken for nearly half a year, and the first thing you ask of is not of my well-being but a favour?" Bert could hear the faint sound of fingers tapping away on a keyboard on the other end of the line. The sound of clicks coming off from Lee's keyboard were fast and brief. "Oh, and how could I forget the part where you interrupted me moments before The Battle for the Dark Crown! Do you know how long I've been planning this raid with my guild?"
"Look, Lee, I'm sorry to have catch you at a bad time but---"
"Months! I've been planning this raid for months!" shouted Lee. Bert pulled his phone away from his ear to avoid a possible ruptured eardrum. "Do you know how hard it was to convince SmiteMeHard1124 to join my party? That guy is one of the best paladins in our guild! And BunnyLover007 has finally agreed to aid me with his warrior who, I might add, possesses one of the best gear available in game?" Lee stopped, and Bert heard another barrage of clicking being fired upon the keyboard.
"Look, I'm sorry alright!" Bert said quickly before Lee could continue. "And I know it's been a while since we last talked, but right now, I really need your help with something!"
"And toss aside months of planning, begging, and humiliation as if it were trash?" Lee shot back angrily. "Never!"
"But it's really, really important, Lee!" begged Bert, pacing about his living room. Fluttershy's eyes followed his every move with vigilance. "I'm kinda in a situation right now."
"And that automatically makes your matter more important than mine?" said Lee, accompanied by the sounds of furious typing. "Your arrogance precedes you."
Bert knew he has to come up with something better. It was plainly obvious that Lee wasn't interested in any of his problems and wanted nothing to do with it. Bert needed something to bait Lee with. Something Lee couldn't possibly refuse. Even if there was a battle for some stupid crown with a bunch of stupidly named usernames.
"I will get you a pint of that new flavour from Jen & Berry's if you come help me."
A sudden gasp and the muffled sound of a phone hitting the ground told Bert that he was successful. A moment later Lee's voice came back on. "A-a-are you for real?" Lee stammered, clearly trying hard not to sound excited. "We're talking about the Jen & Berry's Ice Cream?"
Bert smirked, he's got Lee in the palm of his hand now. Luckily he still remembered Lee was a fanatical ice-cream lover. And a huge fan of the Jen & Berry's brand of ice-cream. The company's various mixture and combination of flavours never really stood out to Bert in anyway, however.
"The very same." he said to Lee smugly. "All you gotta do is come by my house and I'll explain the rest to you."
Bert waited patiently as more typing was heard over the phone. "You drive a hard bargain, you know that?" Lee finally said, defeated. "No doubt this will serve as a catalyst for deeming whether or not I'm still worthy of being the second-in-command in my guild. JonnyBeGud4432 will be clutching his sides, laughing away with the rest of his goons, I'm sure. He's been aiming for my spot for sometime now."
Bert did not know if he should apologize. He felt somewhat responsible for dragging Lee away. Even guilty. But only a little. He'll get over it.
"You still know where I live?"
"So...are you... are you hungry?" Bert asked Fluttershy, unsure with the question. The winged-pony shook her head timidly. As if afraid that she might get mauled if she chose to say yes.
"Ah...okay then." Bert flapped his hand to his sides. Lee was not due for another fifteen minutes. He has to come up with someway to kill the time. Fluttershy the yellow pony was still in her box. Eyes ever staring fearfully at him. Perhaps a getting-to-know-you session was in order, Bert thought, clearing his throat loudly.
"So, er... Fluttershy." he began, taking a small step towards the box. He was worried he might make her faint again. "It's Fluttershy, right?"
She nodded her head. Strands of her long, wavy pink-coloured mane covered her face.
That's good, Bert thought, taking another step closer. She seems to be responding normally and not screaming in terror. Exactly the response he was looking for. "Right, that's good. And I'm Bert." he slowly raised his hand towards her, offering a handshake. "Nice to...nice to meet you."
Fluttershy only stared at him. Her eyes darted back and forth from his outstretched hand to his face. "E-erm..." she stuttered, her voice high-pitched and soft, raising her head slowly from the box. "N-nice to meet you t-t-too." She cautiously raised a hoof and softly bumped it against his hand, swiftly pulling it back into the relative safety of her box once her fur met his skin.
Bert coughed and lowered his hand too. It was obvious Fluttershy was ignorant to basic human customs. As he was hers.
"I'm sorry about before." he apologized, rubbing the back of his neck. "About the... you know... staring and...and the..."
Fluttershy nodded her head, embarrassed. "I-I know what you m-mean." she whispered, face turning red. "Please don't worry about it. I know you didn't mean it."
"I just wanted to tell you that I didn't mean to do it!" Bert said. "I was just... I was just curious and... and I don't know what took over me and---"
"Please!" Fluttershy whispered loudly under her breath, face red like a beet, as if worried someone from outside might hear them. "Please stop talking about it!"
"R-right. Sorry."
They sat in silence. Both avoiding each other's eyes.
"So..." Bert spoke after a while. "Are you a pony?" There was no reason to beat around the bush.
Fluttershy nodded her head.
"And those wings on your back." Bert continued. "Are they really real?"
Fluttershy stared at him quizzically. "They are." she said, not sounding too sure herself. "Well, since the last time I preened them." She stood up and spread her wings open. A few feathers fell to the floor around her as she gently flapped them. She shyly glanced at Bert, who had his mouth wide open, mesmerized by the sight, and quickly folded them back to her sides.
"Yup. They're real."
"Erm... how about... how about you?" Fluttershy asked, her voice almost as quiet as a mouse. "I do not mean to sound rude but... what are you?"
"Me? I'm a human."
"A hu...human?" Fluttershy repeated, head tilted to one side, puzzled. "I have never heard of such a creature before."
"Well, I never heard of a talking, winged pony either, but here we are." Bert crossed his arms. "Where do you come from?"
Before Fluttershy could answer, the sound of a doorbell ringing was heard. Then another. Then another. Then another. The doorbell kept on ringing over and over again, filling the house with echoing noise. Fluttershy yelped and ducked back inside the box. Terrified by the loud, unrelenting ringing.
"For the love of..." Bert hurried over to his front door. "All you gotta do is just ring it once, Lee! I'm not deaf!"
A short, young, slender girl stood in his doorway. She was dressed in a dark-green t-shirt with another white long sleeved one worn underneath it, ending with black and white striped sleeves covering her arms. A pair of black shorts covered the lower part of her body, ending just before her thighs. Her hair, which reached down to her waist, was dark orange. The glasses she was wearing was large, its frame thick and black. She carried with her a laptop bag.
Lee stared at Bert with a haughty expression.
"About time." she said, flicking her hair behind her shoulder and adjusting her glasses. "Let's just get this over with so I could go back to my session." And without waiting for an invitation, she walked right past Bert and straight into his house.
"Nice to see you too." Bert mumbled, closing the door behind him and following Lee. "Sorry for calling you over."
"You better be." said Lee, looking around. "My guild leader wasn't so keen on me leaving on such short notice. Luckily my skills in diplomacy proved useful and I manged to persuade him to wait a little longer." she turned around and glared at Bert. "You better not be lying 'bout Jen & Berry's."
"Wouldn't dare to." Bert grimaced. "I promise once you help me you get your hands on that pint of ice-cream."
Lee smiled. "Excellent!" Satisfied with the promise of ice-cream, she made her way towards the living room. "So, what seems to be the...to be..."
Whatever Lee was about to say, Bert never found out. As they both entered the living room Lee's laptop bag slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor. Her eyes widened as she stared at the yellow winged pony who, with its head poking out the box, was staring back with equally large eyes of its own.
"Ah..." Bert said. "I see you've met Fluttershy." he rubbed the back of his neck. "Fluttershy, this is Lee. Lee, Fluttershy."
Lee slowly turned her face around to face Bert. She did not bother to pick up her laptop bag.
"What. The. Fuck."
So You Find a Pony in a Box
"W-What is that?" Lee asked, dragging Bert by the arm to one corner of the living room. "Why is there a horse in your house?"
"Pony." Bert corrected her indifferently. "I found her in that box she's in."
Lee glanced behind her shoulder to where Fluttershy was, who was peeking at the both of them, and scratched her head confusedly. "Its a her?"
"Yup." Bert nodded. "Fluttershy. A female pony."
Lee looked liked she was ready to slap herself. "Its name is really Fluttershy ?"
Bert nodded his head. "That's what she told me."
Lee's eyes widened, and she grabbed Bert by his shirt's collar, pulling him down to her height. A light, refreshing aroma of strawberry-scented shampoo crawled its way into Bert's nostrils as his face was pulled close to hers.
"It told you?" she asked doubtfully, adjusting her large glasses. "It can talk?"
"Y-yeah she can talk." Bert said quickly. "Trust me, I'm just as surprised as you are."
"Forget about being surprised. Do you expect me to believe what you are saying?"
"But she's just there, Lee! Right there!" Bert argued, pointing at Fluttershy, who quickly ducked into the box again. "How can you not believe me when I have proof?"
"This better not be some sort of desperate ploy to get into my pants."
"W-what?" Bert tried to step back, but Lee's grip was like iron. "Don't be ridiculous!"
"You know..." Lee said pointedly, letting go of Bert's collar and rubbing her chin. "When you asked me to come down here, I was already starting to wonder if there was some sort of ulterior motive... you did used my greatest weakness against me... why else would you say ice-cream? You somehow knew I'd throw everything aside just to come---"
Bert shook his head. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Listen, Lee." he said, raising both his hand in mock surrender. "I'm telling you the truth. I swear to the Lord Almighty that I found this pony in a box."
Lee raised her eyebrow at him. No doubt still doubtful. "In a box?" she said, finally, eyes never leaving Bert's.
"Yeah, like I said. That big box right there."
"And you just happened to stumble upon it?"
"No. It was sitting there right in front of my door."
"So the pony was just there sitting on your doorsteps?"
"The box. Not the pony."
"You know what I mean, you idiot!"
Fluttershy had no idea what to make of her situation as she watched the two strange creatures --- called humans, as told by Bert --- bickered on and on. But she was feeling a little less scared now since their attention weren't on her. At least for the moment.
Never, in all her life spent in Equestria, has she ever seen creatures such as the being called Bert before. Bipedal creatures were rarely seen around Ponyville, and the ones she heard of are relatively more furrier than the ones standing before her. Fluttershy herself didn't knew many creatures which walked on two legs. Well, there was one though. A certain Lord of Chaos to be exact.
She studied her surroundings. The place wasn't huge or spacious. There were a lot of strange bits and bobbles on shelves and racks. A round wooden table was just right behind her. And behind that, was a long, black rectangle shaped object of some sort, which stood on another smaller table. Thick, and brightly-coloured curtains with strange patterns adorned the windows, in contrast to the walls, which were bare and empty and painted a dull brown.
Just where in Celestia's name was she? Fluttershy just couldn't rid herself of the thought. Everything that had happened before her sudden, unexplained appearance here was a fuzzy blur. The more she tried to remember, the more blurrier everything got. Why couldn't she remember?
And why was she in a box? She was certain she didn't have any box like that in her cottage. The box was empty, besides her of course. Nothing else came along with her to this strange place of which she knew little of. She would at least feel the tiniest bit comfortable if somepony else was with her. Like her pet bunny, Angel. Or her best friends: Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack and Twilight Sparkle. The Elements of Harmony.
A wave of strong emotions suddenly came upon her. She felt alone. She missed her friends. And she wanted nothing more than to be sipping tea in her cozy cottage back in Ponyville. Why, oh why, was this happening to her?
Fluttershy returned her gaze to the two humans, who were both still arguing. The one with the orange hair was far more animated than the one named Bert, who had its arms crossed together. Every few moments or so she caught her name being mentioned.
"I'm telling you, her name really is Fluttershy!" said Bert, sounding irritated and tired. "Why won't you believe me?"
"Just admit it. This is just some sort of prank, right?" said the orange-haired human, flicking its hair behind its shoulder and adjusting its glasses in a superior way. "You got hidden cameras hidden all over your place, am I right?" it accused loudly.
Fluttershy wondered if she should say something to them. She knew she had fainted earlier before when she saw Bert's face (in her defense, the human's face was rather surprising, and she wasn't one who fancy surprises). But now that she's back up and alert, it was time to assess the situation and get help to find a way back home. To Equestria. To her friends.
First things first. Fluttershy needed to find a way to somehow contact her friends back home. No doubt they will soon start to wonder where she'd disappeared off to, and she wouldn't want them to worry. She was positive that Twilight, the Princess of Friendship, would find her sudden disappearance alarming, and would conduct a thorough investigation with the rest of her friends. Perhaps she may even find a way to reach her!
Fluttershy nodded to no one in particular. With new found determination, she slowly stood up from the box that surrounded her and carefully made her way out of it. If she has learned anything so far is that even in the face of danger or the unknown, one must always be brave and assertive. To a certain extent, of course.
With her knees buckling, and sweat forming on her forehead. Fluttershy slowly made her way towards the humans. Clearing her throat as loudly as she could, she waited for them to look at her. She didn't want to seem rude.
But they didn't.
Fluttershy tried again. This time clearing her throat an extra bit louder than her last attempt. Her attempt struck oil. Bert and the orange-haired human stopped their bickering and stared at her. Bert's eyes were alert, but soft. The other pair wasn't as soft however. Its eyes widened, and it quickly took a few steps back, putting Bert between her and it.
"Erm... hello." Fluttershy said timidly, but in a polite and sweet tone.
"ARRRGGGHHHH!" The orange-haired human's scream was so loud Fluttershy quickly ducked down and covered her ears with her hooves. Looking up, she saw the human jump into Bert's arms, whose face was just as confused and shocked as she was.
"Woah, Lee. Calm the hell down!"
"It talked! IT CAN ACTUALLY TALK! IT JUST FUCKING TALKED!"
Fluttershy let out a whimper. This whole thing was probably going to be harder than she thought.
