Sour Roast

by FourShadow

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Equestria Girls, Profanity, Sour Sweet, Alternate Universe, Original Character
Length: 3752

Sour finds a video attempting to 'roast' her just for her response to a cringy video. She doesn't take this well...

Sour Sweet has been making reaction videos on HoofTube which has been mostly successful so far, and she found a particular video that got a lot more hits than her other ones. However, the person who made the video who was being reacted to... didn't react well. And now he's made a 'roasting' video to Sour who doesn't really take it well...

Rage ensues.

Once again, inspired by the wonderful works of Nico-Stone Rupan. If you haven't read his work, go do it. He's written great Sour Sweet stories.

This fanfic was purely made for sh**s and giggles. Enjoy!

Published 2018-01-01 17:10:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-01 17:10:06 UTC

Roasted!

Author's Note

This story was mainly made for sh*ts and giggles, and you can probably guess a number of videos and people I was inspired by. References, beware :raritywink:

Hope you enjoy it!

And a few shout-outs to you guys! :twilightsmile:

Roasted!

The alarm of Sour's alarm clock was the first sound to hit her ears in the morning. And with each sound of that clock, came typical groaning and and whining.

Sour glanced at her alarm clock, and her eyes read the time of 9:00 AM. Thank god it was Saturday. Stretching her arms, she pulled the blankets off of her body and got on her feet. With a yawn, she stretched her arms and fingers which made a few cracking noises.

After a quick pit stop to the bathroom, she sat at her desk and opened up her computer. Time to check email!

After a few minutes of clicking, Sour groaned. Sadly nothing from her friends, and nothing new or exciting was sent to her. Shame. And at that moment, she heard a small ding come from her phone. She picked it up, and saw a text from her girlfriend which made her smile.

Smallfoot: Hi sweetie! Just wanted to see how you were doing! Sorry I didn't email you last night, I was pulling an all-nighter at work. Hopefully you get this text! Love you!

Sour smiled upon reading her text, along with the cute picture of her blowing a kiss. She texted her back, and she set the phone down.

At that very moment, she heard another noise come from her phone. She picked up again, but this time it wasn't a text from Smallfoot. She was getting a phone call from Lemon Zest.

Sour answered. "Lemon, why are you calling me at 9:00 in the morning?"

"Sorry dude, I had to call you!"

Sour rolled her eyes. "This better be important."

"It is! Okay, first thing. That last reaction video you uploaded was hilarious, its got over 20,000 views already."

"Lemon, that's not much of an accomplishment." Sour giggled.

You see, Sour Sweet didn't have much to do in her sparetime other than just talking to friends, so she found herself a hobby in making videos on HoofTube. Most of them reaction, but some were just random video blogs, toy videos, or recordings of her spending time with her friends.

"Yeah it is, it means you're getting somewhere! But uh... there's actually another reason I wanted to call you. That uh... you know that guy you reacted to?"

Sour rubbed the temples on her forehead. "Lemon, you need to be more specific, that could literally be anyone. Do you mean the crazy person who accused a couple of having sex when they were just showing public displays of affection?"

Lemon went silent. "Um... no."

"The idiot who was saved from drowning but jumped straight to suing the guy for saving her?" Sour asked.

"Thankfully not her!" Lemon replied.

"The fat pig who screamed at her neighbor over a parking spot?" Sour asked.

"Nope!"

"The jackass who tried to attack the news reporter on live TV?"

"Not him!"

"The tap dancing streaker?"

"Nope!"

"... Is it the guy who had his mouth so close to the camera lenses for that food review?" Sour asked. "Cause I really don't want to see that again..."

"Oh come on, its not that bad." Lemon said.

"Oh really?

***

Sour groaned she covered her mouth and eyes as the images played on the screen. The closeup on the person's face was revolting, and she felt queasy just seeing it.

"Oh god, he just spit into the camera lenses!"

Sour jumped out of her chair and she left the room, not looking back at the video. She didn't even stop the video from playing.

"I can't do it! Its disgusting!" Sour wailed. "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!"

***

"I think I might have thrown up three times that following day," Sour groaned.

"Okay, let me try this. That dork who did a review of pizza from Pizza King?"

"Y-Y-Yeah?" Sour asked hesitantly.

"He uh... he made a video attempting to roast you."

Sour facepalmed. "Oh, just... great. Just, wonderful..."

"Sour, its not that bad. Its... its actually kind of funny. Its so painfully bad, its hilarious."

"I sincerely doubt it... okay. The punk's going down. Send me the link, I'm gonna find out what this little pipsqueak said to me."

"Sour, wait!" Lemon interrupted.

Sour stopped.

"Look, I don't know how you'll respond, but please do not send him death threats! Actually no, please don't make any videos until you've looked at the whole thing! Its never good when your opponent can see that you're pissed off, I don't want the world to be attacking you! Please Sour?"

Sour waited for anything else, and she took Lemon's words to heart. She hadn't thought of the consequences that would come if she approached this user with a fit of rage. Showing rage would only make her image look bad, and it would please the person who attempted to strike.

Sour took a deep breath and sighed. "Okay. I promise. But I can't just let something like this slide Lemon."

"Why not call your girlfriend over? I bet she can help you with this. Actually, maybe not her, maybe Sugarcoat would be better--"

"I'm calling my girlfriend. Smallfoot's sensible, she's calm, and I think it'd be better if I have someone look at it with me so I don't do something I'll regret."

"Okay then. So, shall I see you later then?"

"I guess so. Bye Lemon."

"See ya Sour! Tell your Big Rig I said hi!"

Sour hung up the phone and set the phone back down on her desk. What to do now? Calling Smallfoot did seem like a good idea. Maybe someone calm and collective would be a lot better around to analyze a video that would try to antagonize her.

But that would have to come later. It was early in the morning, and she didn't get her breakfast yet!

After breakfast, and some time to get homework done, Sour called up Smallfoot to come over to hang out. Hopefully having her presence would make her calm.

The doorbell rung. Standing at the door was none other than Smallfoot.

"Smallfoot!"

Sour lept up at her girlfriend in a big hug, making Smallfoot giggle.

"Sweetness, you don't need to jump on me every time..." Smallfoot giggled.

"I know, but I miss you." Sour said, kissing her cheek.

Smallfoot blushed. "Sour, I'm not that far away."

"I know. But its just nice to see you when I can." Sour said, nuzzling her cheek.

Smallfoot smiled, and she hugged Sour as best as she could, given the fact she had stuff in her hands.

"What'd ya bring baby?" Sour asked.

"Oh uh, I hope you don't mind, but I brought over a few snacks. You told me about someone attempting to roast you, and I thought maybe I should bring food over. And, I hope you don't mind but uh... I got your favorite..." Smallfoot said, digging into the paper bag.

"Please be minty shake, please be minty shake, please be minty shake..." Sour said really fast.

"I got ya a minty shake!"

"YAY!" Sour squeed with joy.

Smallfoot just giggled. She was just so darn adorable whenever she got excited.

Sour caught herself for a brief moment, and blushed a bit.

"S-Sorry... I know its a bit greedy of me to do that--"

"Sour, you're fine. Now uh, if you can, is there any chance you can please help me with the bag before I drop it?" Smallfoot panicked, feeling it slip out of her hands.

After helping Smallfoot out with unloading the snacks, Sour Sweet pulled the laptop onto a coffee table while Smallfoot and Sour Sweet sat on the couch. The snacks were laid out on the coffee table, and milkshakes were sitting on some coasters.

"Alright... you ready?" Sour asked.

Smallfoot nodded.

"Okay, pressing play in 3, 2, 1."

Sour's finger hit the play button, and the video began to load. Both girls locked eyes onto the screen, bracing themselves for who was to appear.

Not even two seconds had gone by, and already Smallfoot was a bit uncomfortable. The person who was recording the video, in the very first frame was so close to the camera she could see right into his nose and that wasn't an angle she wanted to see. Thankfully this image wouldn't be there for too long, as he was sitting in front of the camera with his face and upper torso in view.

"Well everyone, I can definitely say you fuckers, deserve tons of hell--"

Smallfoot instantly paused the video and rubbed her eyes.

"... You know already, I feel like we're in for a real treat!" Sour said cheerfully. "Lets see how much this shitstorm hits."

"Sour, we haven't even gotten started yet. Lets just try to stay calm, okay?"

"Good luck." Sour grumbled.

Smallfoot pressed play on the video again.

"--for all the shit you said to me. Look, I just came here to create some family friendly content, so I could just educate and entertain--"

Sour hit the pause button again.

"And there's our first problem." Sour groaned. "Family friendly my ass, he's about as friendly as killing off your favorite childhood characters--oh wait that actually happened."

Smallfoot nodded. "And I heard the 'f' bomb dropped in there, that's uh... that's not family friendly. At all. Shouldn't that stuff be uh... filtered?"

Sour shrugged. "If a little kid finds it, its on them for watching it. Lets keep watching!"

"--And all of you said some really naughty shit, that shouldn't even be said here. One person said I was gay, which is TOTALLY not true, obviously--"

Smallfoot paused the video. "Okay, uh... I hate to be the one to be judging here, and I'm not trying to judge by stereotype but uh... I'm not sure I know anyone who acts like that, and that flamboyant attitude and hand gestures kind of is a bit uh... stereotypical."

"Just keep going."

"--And another person called me a &@%#$ $*!##. But I found out there is one person, who's bringing all of this together, and uh, she's a bitch. That's literally what she is, she is a whiny, obnoxious little bitch that needs to shut the hell up."

Paused.

Sour's fists clenched tightly. "Oh its on, you prick!"

"Sour." Smallfoot spoke.

Sour stopped, hearing the calm voice from Smallfoot. Smallfoot gave her a friendly smile and opened up a lid of a plastic tray. Inside were a bunch of fresh chocolate chip cookies.

"Oooh, cookies!" Sour grinned.

Sour took a cookie from the tray, and Smallfoot too. Once the two were eating away at their snacks, Sour continued the video.

"And you want to know who that bitch is? Well..." The teenager in the video started shaking like he was about to burst in rage. His face was red and steam was practically fuming from his ears. "It makes me so fuckin mad just saying her name..."

Several videos that were meshing overhead of the teenager showed several reactions cut from some of Sour's videos. They could easily guess that it was intended to make her look like a threat, but even stranger was the video's color filter slowly turning into darker shades of hot red, like the fiery pits of the underworld.

"Oh, that's so painfully cringy! ... dude, stop trying to push your ego on screen, its about as big as your nose, holy crap!... Maybe you should review bleach!" Sour's voice said on the computer overhead.

Once it closed in on the boy, a burst of flame exploded on the video along with an angry man screaming in song, playing overhead. Smallfoot instantly paused the video and glanced at Sour Sweet with a bit of a hesitant look, raising a brow.

Sour looked back at Smallfoot and she gave a nervous chuckle. "Heh, I uh... I'll admit, I kind of said some really bad things... Maybe even calling this guy a bit of an egotistical copycat..."

Smallfoot rubbed her eyes. "Sour... I'd like to point out that all of this is going on HoofTube... where people are open to say what they want, and you're insulting him publicly?"

"I didn't mean it! I was making jokes, and I said at the beginning of the video that it was just purely for shits and giggles, no one was directed for ridicule here." Sour argued.

Smallfoot sat in silence, trying to process what she was told. "But if you said you never meant any of it... why is this video about you still here?"

Sour rolled her eyes. "Smallfoot, does anyone actually watch a video all the way through? Did you see the video of the guy who refused to see that reboot with the ghost-chasing guys? Or girls, in this case?"

Smallfoot raised a brow and blinked. "Lets just see how far this rabbit hole goes..."

The video continued, and the fiery inferno left the screen. And the next few seconds left Sour Sweet confused. There was a screen shot of her room in the frame, and then a few more seconds passed by as the teenager came back into frame, appearing in front of the screen shot of her room. Smallfoot quickly understood right away it was just a green-screen effect.

"Sour, this is the last straw you bitch! Your little followers have gone onto my channel and have been posting shit non-stop, and we're ending this right now, unlike you, you schizophrenic whore I don't make shit content okay, I can roast you to the goddamn ends of the earth!"

Smallfoot hit the pause button again. She looked at her girlfriend who was now fuming. Her face was red, and steam was coming out of her ears.

"S-Sour? Maybe we should uh... take a break?"

Smallfoot cowered behind a punching bag, quaking in fear while the bag was receiving tremendous amounts of force. Sour Sweet was furiously punching in rage, and Smallfoot was just bracing for her to scream in anger.

After 15 minutes of him punching in pure rage, Sour eventually calmed down and panted heavily. Smallfoot poked her head out and sighed in relief.

"You feel better now?" Smallfoot asked.

Sour panted and looked up at her girlfriend with a smile. "Yep! I'm good! Come on, lets see the rest of the video!"

After a quick wash up, Sour made it back downstairs on the couch.

"Alright, lets see how this little pipsqueak can roast me." Sour said.

Smallfoot hit the play button again.

"--First off, why the hell do you have those Mighty Morphers? They were shit toys, they're barely active figures, they're freakin dolls, they're goddamn rip-offs of something that's more popular, and they're for fuckin 7-year-old kids. You are literally an adult woman child, and you're calling me cringy?"

Sour in complete anger whipped out a small rifle that was under the couch cushions. Smallfoot was just left in pure shock, she didn't even know that thing was there.

"Okay that does it, I'm gonna put a cap in his ass! You did not just call Mighty Morphers, dolls. Just try, just try it one more time!" Sour said, cocking the gun.

"WHOA!" Smallfoot said intervening. She plucked the gun away from Sour. "No one's shooting anything, okay?"

"Smallfoot, I'm not gonna shoot him." Sour said, shaking her head.

Smallfoot blinked and her jaw was still wide. "Then why do you have a rifle!?"

Sour shrugged. "Dad keeps it around in case of predators coming to the house."

Smallfoot was looking at her still in shock. Unwanting her to accidentally shoot something, she set the rifle down on the floor with the gun barrel away from their feet.

"Lets uh... lets just finish the video."

"--I get why you call people disguisting and shit, but you just take it to a new low by your content which is just abysmal AIDS. I can just sum up why your channel sucks and that's just one sentence 'reaction channel' but that'd just be fuckin lazy. Kind of like you. But also, what the hell is up all of your dance fighting videos? Its not impressive, dance fighting is literally just dancing. You aren't doing any punching or kicking, so what's the damn point? I mean..."

Sour and Smallfoot sat and watched the video for 10 more minutes, but as the video continued Sour's rage left and instead there was just a hollow shell of boredom. Almost nothing was happening with any substantial value, or even anything to get her mad over.

"You know Sour... Nothing's really happening." Smallfoot said, sipping a drink from a coffee cup.

"Yeah... this is kind of boring. I don't even remember what I was mad about." Sour said, leaning her head back. "Why was I mad again?"

"--But over Sour, you're a goddamn pussy, and I don't expect you to do anything good here. You want to take me on, you know where to find me. My reviews will beat your ass, oh, and maybe you should pleasure your slut of a girlfriend once in a while, okay? She's not gonna wanna stay with you, you slutty bitch. So please, go to hell, and suck my--"

Sour slammed her finger on the pause button and hit her fist on the coffee table.

"Okay... that does it. I know I got mad over the insults at me... but no one, NO ONE, talks to my girlfriend that way!!!" Sour yelled. "I'm taking that pipsqueak down!"

Sour was about to get up from the couch, but Smallfoot held her back down.

"Sour no!" Smallfoot pleaded.

"I can't just let him get away with that!"

"Sour. Please listen to me."

Sour slowly sat down on the couch, and Smallfoot held her shoulders, looking her in the eye.

"Babe, I know what he said was over the line, but you're not going to let one person anger you, are you? There's going to be plenty of people out there that may be like him, but the best thing to do is just ignore him. If you even respond to him, he's just going to see that he's gaining the upper hand just getting a reaction out of you. I just don't want to see you go through life being miserable just because a few people say bad things. Its not healthy. I know its hard to ignore jerks like them, but in the end, their words should have nothing on you. You're still standing, and you're still strong. Besides, you've got something that he doesn't."

"And, what's that?"

Smallfoot smiled. "Good friends, you've got a job, an audience that loves you... and you've still got me."

Sour hadn't thought about any of that. She had been taken by her rage for a good amount of time, that she didn't have time to think about the good stuff she had. And Smallfoot was right. This was one person over possibly A BILLION people on the internet. One individual.

Sour gave Smallfoot an appreciative smile, and she wrapped her arms around her pulling her in for a hug. Sour just sighed in relaxation. She loved every warm embrace from her girlfriend, and it always made her feel better.

She gave Smallfoot a peck on her cheek and she nuzzled her.

"Thank you, sweetie." Sour cooed.

Smallfoot smiled back and nuzzled her. "Its nothing, babe."

Smallfoot's eyes went back to the laptop, and she scrolled down on the video. Her eyes bulged wide when she looked below.

"You know Sour... I don't think you'd have anything to worry about either way."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the like to dislike ratio isn't good on his standards. Over 600 dislikes over... 29 likes. And there's... wow that's a lot of negativity in the comments."

"HoofTube comments are nothing but flamewars, that's all they are." Sour huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Babe, they're not all flamewars. Besides, a good chunk of these people are standing up for you."

"Really?" Sour tilted her head.

Smallfoot looked down in the comments

"RustyWarhead says 'Why would you say that?'. NicLove says 'You are a despicable human being, leave her alone. She made a disclaimer at the beginning of the video saying she wasn't serious, did you even watch the full video?' Fetch says 'this video falls under violation of HoofTube's rule "no cyber bullying, no unwanted hate speech or graphic violence of any kind". You have been reported. Hope that was worth this 12 minutes of video.' And actually, now that I'm looking... some of these people are some of your audience members, I recognize a good chunk of these guys."

Sour, truthfully, was a little surprised. She didn't think people were going to be standing up for her, but here... these people were actually speaking out to this guy.

"skip2435 says 'you are a despicable person, never say stuff to her ever again'. And even this one by the name of Vertigo22 says 'Sour, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but just ignore this guy. He's got nothing on you, and we love your channel. Just keep on truckin! And say hi to your girlfriend for me!'"

Sour gave a smile. "Aww, well that was nice of him."

Smallfoot scrolled through more comments, and squinted her eyes. "This user asks 'Don't listen to this creep Sour, he's just trying to get a rise out of you. By the way, are you actually going to pleasure your girl--OKAY, I think we've looked at enough on HoofTube for now."

Smallfoot gently closed the lid of the laptop with a bashful chuckle, her cheeks heating up.

"... Maybe we should uh... do something productive?" Smallfoot asked.

Sour and Smallfoot sat in silence for a moment or two. What could they do now?

"Wanna go do some archery tag with the girls?" Sour asked.

Smallfoot glanced up at the clock and shrugged. "Eh, why not, nothing else to do on Saturday."

Sour and Smallfoot got up from the couch, brushing the crumbs from the snacks off their clothes.

"So... you're not gonna respond to the guy are you?"

"Oh please, its a waste of time. Besides, since when are people on HoofTube gonna stop internet cyberbullying? Its run by robots who don't even react when people get unwarranted copyright strikes."