The Several Days Late but Many Bucks Plentiful Dazzling Christmas Special!

by Justice3442

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Adagio Dazzle, Sunset Shimmer, Profanity, Random, Slice of Life, Sonata Dusk, Comedy, Equestria Girls, Aria Blaze
Length: 5466

It’s that time of year! That time where the magic of Christmas has mostly fled and all that’s left is the short, but grueling crawl towards the new year! But wait! Aria wants to share the joy of post-Christmas, pre-New Years with everyone!

It’s that time of year! That time where the magic of Christmas has mostly fled and all that’s left is the short, but grueling crawl towards the new year!

But wait! Aria wants to share the joy of post-Christmas, pre-New Years with everyone! Whether they want to or not!

Pretty much inspired by the art of thegreatcat14 and NekoJackun. Cover by AmazingPuffhair.

Thanks to
Tired Old Man ,
Nova Quill/ Firimil , and
Steel Resolve for their edits and suggestions!

Published 2017-12-29 08:30:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-01-18 08:56:36 UTC

Welcome to the Show, but with more Christmas Cheer

The Several Days Late but Many Bucks Plentiful Dazzling Christmas Special!

It’s that time of year! That time where the magic of Christmas has mostly fled and all that’s left is the short, but grueling crawl towards the new year!

But wait! Aria wants to share the joy of post-Christmas, pre-New Years with everyone! Whether they want to or not!

“Can’t you do this?!” Adagio Dazzle snapped as she glared out at an open doorway.

“No!” Aria Blaze’s voice snapped back from said doorway. “We’re late as it is and I’m running interference for guests! Plus, my hands are full!”

Adagio shot the doorway a smirk. “What, you’re going to leap out with a bunch of gifts and surprise everyone?”

“What?! No! Lame!It’s all set up. Just hit the ‘stream’ button already!”

Adagio chuckled. “Good thing you asked me and not Sonata here, she’d wonder where the picture of a stream is!”

“Yes, wow, your ability to recognize the written word and comprehend basic requests is amazing, Dagi.”

Adagio sneered. “You’re lucky this little exercise of yours is going to net us both attention and money, Aria!”

“Yeah, yeah, oh-glorious-and-most-dazzling leader. JUST HIT THE FUCKING BUTTON ALREADY!”

Adagio took a deep breath, then let it out as if she was debating continuing arguing with Aria or not. Seemingly deciding it wasn’t worth her time, she turned and peered quizzically at a spherical webcam with a large lens that was set upon a pivoting base sitting next to a massive laptop that practically dwarfed the table it was set on. “Er… You’re sure this is ready to go?”

“Oh my fucking God!” Aria exclaimed in annoyance.

“Yes, present,” Adagio replied with a smirk. To punctuate this point, Adagio was wearing a low-cut Santa-themed dress that framed the bottom of her cleavage by fluffy white cotton that sloped downwards toward a chrome emblem that resembled her ‘cutie mark’. The mid-section of the dress hugged Adagio’s abdomen tightly as the bodice lifted her chest slightly with two black supports that appeared specifically as if they were presenting Adagio’s breasts on two pedestals. Around her waist was a wide, black belt with a gold buckle over a skirt that would maybe go down halfway most women’s thighs, but only made it down about a third of the way down Adagio’s massive man-or-woman (or-whatever-Adagio-simply-isn’t-that-picky) crushers. To ‘cap’ the outfit off, Adagio had managed to get a red Santa hat to sit in a mostly-natural looking manner on top of her head, having discreetly shoved just enough orange curly hair inside so her bangs were still visible, but the hat fit snugly on her head.

The hat occasionally shook, however, with the seams and fabric housing the bouncy and nearly boundless mass of orange hair inside that was barely restrained with a modest three bottles of hairspray and twelve hair clips—

‘Snap! Snap!’

Ten hair clips.

“For the last fucking time, Adagio, I know it’s going to work! I set it up before bringing the laptop down!”

—“I’m amazed you didn’t throw your back out carrying this thing down…”—

“Just hit the stupid record button!”

“Okay… just…” Adagio looked at a giant black ‘laptop’ that appeared to be almost half the size of her and sported the word ‘PREDATOR’ in big silver writing under its giant curved screen. “I mean… there’s no cord going from the PC to the cameras and… are you sure your drivers up to date? Maybe we should run the install CD to be sure…”

“…Oh by sweet baby Christ’s-just-past-birthday, Adagio!” Aria said as she peaked her mulberry eyes into the living room doorway.

The rolling of Adagio’s eyes seemed to turn her whole body to face Aria. “You should know that’s completely wrong, or have you forgotten?”

It was Aria’s turn to roll her eyes. “No, I haven’t forgotten! I don’t have memory problems!”

“Well, it was like 2,000 years ago!”

“Ugh! How can I forget!” Aria exclaimed before she began mumbling irritably to herself. “Frickin’ jive-ass, send-us-back-wherever-whenever, Star Swirl portal…” She shook her head. “Everything smelled like sheep and camel and even between all of Sonata’s frankincense and my myrrh, we still couldn’t make the smell go away!”

Adagio huffed out a sigh. “And then suddenly you two grew consciences and just handed out all our expensive frankincense and myrrh like we intended to gift it all along!”

Aria shrugged with her eyebrows as Adagio caught a glimpse of black-fingerless gloves and one of Aria’s ponytails. “Gabe was giving us the stink-eye like we were being assholes for flashing our wealth in front of the poor carpenter’s family! And you know how he… she… whatever has a glare that sorta bores into your soul in a rather literal sense. I thought he’d start yelling and I did not want ruptured eardrums!” Aria refocused her own unamused glance at Adagio. “Besides, you gave them a bunch of our money after that!”

“Well, then you two made me look like the asshole for not giving them anything!”

“Okay, but even though we can all agree that, while cash is awesome, it’s sort of the most thoughtless gift there is!”

“EXCUSE ME IF THEY DIDN’T HAVE GIFT CARDS TO TACO HUTS OR EVEN TACO HUTS BACK THEN, ARIA!” Adagio looked back down at small end table that was basically completely covered by the massive laptop with the barest of room for a webcam. “Your camera still isn’t plugged in.”

“That’s because the cameras are all wireless and set up to be switched through an app on my phone, moron! It’s like the Y2K disaster really happened but just for your brain! How do you even function in modern society?!”

Adagio’s eyes narrowed. “I still make more money than you, you know.”

Aria rolled her eyes. “Sure, if you include tips you get from blowjobs and fucking dudes inside and outside work.”

Adagio shot Aria a furious look. “I fuck more than just dudes!” She followed this up with a sneer. “Plus, I also get vacation time and benefits!”

Aria rolled her eyes. “Work benefits is just something boring adults bring up when they’re mad they’ve met someone ‘self-employed’ who’s more successful than them!”

Adagio raised an eyebrow. “I meant ‘co-workers with benefits’.”

Aria pursed her lips slightly. “Walked into that one… Look! This is all valuable content that could be going up on my MeTube channel! As much as I hate to admit it, viewership spikes whenever you or Sonata wander on camera when I’m shooting my videos.”

“Okay, me, I understand,” Adagio said.

— “Well, you’re practically naked most the times you barge into my room, so yeah.”—

“But why Sonata?”

Aria sighed heavily. “Honestly, if Sonata had the attention span to do what I do, she’d probably make more money than me with that cute ditsy, ‘maybe I’m faking, maybe I really do have a terrible brain injury and need therapy’ act she has going!”

Adagio shook her head. “I can’t believe you make any money at all from sweaty guys watching you beat people at your stupid video games.”

Aria smirked with both her lips and eyebrows. “You, Adagio Dazzle, are surprised there’s money to be had from a hot girl offering her services to demean a buncha needy dudes? “

“I…” Adagio hesitated and thought about this a moment. “Okay, when you put it like that…”

“Still late, Adagio!” Aria replied. “I’m getting bitchy tweets from like a million people here!”

Adagio rolled her eyes. “You’re exaggerating.”

“I’M FUCKING NOT!” Aria roared ragefully. “NOW TURN ON THE DAMN CAMERA!”

“Alright, alright!” Adagio exclaimed. She poked the screen then frowned. “Nothing is happening.”

“THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S NOT A TOUCHSCREEN, YOU IDIOT!”

“YOU SPENT NEARLY TEN-GRAND ON A COMPUTER AND IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A TOUCHSCREEN?! I MAY NOT KNOW THE SPECIFICS OF HOW COMPUTERS WORK, BUT I KNOW THAT’S A BASIC FUNCTION AT THIS POINT!”

“WHY WOULD I NEED A TOUCHSCREEN FOR A GAMING PC?!”

“INCASE YOU USE IT TO SHOOT LIVE VIDEO LIKE WE’RE TRYING TO DO NOW?!”

“JUST USE THE DAMN TOUCH PAD!”

Adagio sighed. “Ugh… It’s probably caked with layers of your body juices…”

“When the fuck has that stopped you from doing literally anything…?”

Adagio pursed her lips and leaned down in front of the computer. “Good point. Okay… I hit the button and-AGH!” Adagio found herself falling to the ground courtesy of a solid push from Aria who was now leaning down in front of the camera. “‘Sup, losers!” Aria greeted. Like Adagio, she was wearing a skimpy Santa-themed outfit, though her skirt seemed to barelycover her tight posterior. Despite the small size of the item which also showed off Aria’s cleavage, it still hung somewhat loosely around her well-toned body, though not so much as to suggest Aria had no shape despite resembling more a ballpoint pen with a cushioned grip and thin center rather than the full hourglass shape Adagio sported. She lacked a hat and her nearly trademark stars that kept her twin ponytails in place. Instead, she opted to hold her hair up with arm length, fingerless-black gloves made all the more striking by red wristbands. “SirenBlaze420 here, finally! Sorry about the hair. Having kinda a wardrobe malfunction! Speaking of malfunctions, working through some technical difficulties.” Aria glowered down at the floor. “AS in my roommate is a difficult technical moron!”

Adagio got up to her feat and glared at Aria. “As impressed as I am at that intro with the multiple segues and some solid wordplay, I have four annoyances!”

Aria sighed. “Adagio Dazzle, everyone!” She said nodding in Adagio’s direction.

“I have three annoyances which I will list off in order of least to most irksome. One… SirenBlaze420?! Really?”

Aria sighed heavily. “Well, there’s like… a buncha 1’s and 3s and a 4 in there, but I can’t really say that.”

Adagio rolled her eyes. “Two, why are you holding your hair up!”

“Sonata stole my clips and ran off with them!”

“So… make her tell you where they’re at!”

“Dude, she’s so happy we needed a few more days with the Christmas stuff that she’s putting out her ‘double-stacked Gordita Crunch’ treatment. Her words, not mine. I told her as long as she didn’t spread burnt cheese all over the place, that was fine… And you know how she gets when she’s ‘in the zone’.”

Adagio sighed. “Giddy, yet stabby… Fine… But why don’t you let your hair down?”

Aria narrowed her eyes. “‘Cause I hate the way it looks.”

Adagio chuckled. “But it’s adorable!”

“Right, and I hate the way it looks!”

“Ugh, whatever… Third. WHY ARE YOU ALSO DRESSED UP AS SLUTTY SANTA!” Adagio pointed a finger at herself. “I’M SLUTTY SANTA AND YOU AND SONATA ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MY PROMISCUOUS ELVES!”

“Dude, it’s my show!” Aria said. “So, I can be slutty Santa if I want. You’re lucky I was too busy to ask you to change!”

“Well, one of us is going to have to change!” Adagio leaned closer to Aria and poured on the vitriol. “And, I’m the leader!”

Aria leaned forward as well, keeping a firm grasp on her hair. “Well, it’s my show! My channel, and my viewers!”

Adagio’s face tightened in rage and frustration and she growled out a “FINE!” before she did a little twirl in front of the camera. “Get a good look everyone! Guess I’m changing!” she said before storming off.

Aria huffed out a sigh. “Fine, go!”

“HEY!” Adagio called out. “Did you put a camera in my room so people will see me get undressed?!”

“What?! NO!” Aria shouted back. “You’re the perv, not me!”

“A pity!” Adagio shot back.

Aria sighed and looked directly at the webcam. “See what I have to put up with?”

“Merry Christmas EXTRA, everyone!” A bubbly voice rang out as jingling heralded the arrival of one Sonata Dusk. Garbed in a green dress that Sonata’s shapely frame seemed to be actively fighting to get out of, it was lined with red fringed trim around the hem of the skirt. Her open top was adorned with bells and seemed to be the source of the noise. A matching green and red hat with a bell at the end was perched on Sonata’s head. She also wore green gloves with red sleeves and matching green and red socks on her feet.

Aria sighed. “Speaking of putting up with stuff… Sonata?”

“Yes-um, Aria Blaze?” Sonata turned towards the camera and gave it a cat-like grin. “My dear friend, roommate, and possibly more…”

Aria rolled her eyes so hard it was amazing she didn’t strain anything. “You don’t need to look at the camera, exposition, and be coy with the audience! We’re not having a ‘fake’ holiday special. They know about us already, and they especially know you, because you hijacked my channel that one time and just played with dinosaur toys for hours in front of it!”

“You’re just mad because that video has more views than any of your others!”

“I am FURIOUS thatvideo has more views than the others, but that’s not the point! I need my hair ties!”

“Oh!” Sonata dashed out of the room. “I can fix that!”

Aria closed her eyes, shook her head, and let out an exasperated groan. Before she could get her eyes open, she could feel Sonata swatting away her hands, working on her hair, and putting it back into ponytails.

“Okay, done!”

Aria opened her eyes, then frowned as she stared at the laptop screen. Her hair now looked to be held in place with tinsel and some large spherical baubles of glittery green, red, and silver.

“These aren’t my hair ties,” Aria glowered.

“Nope-um!” Sonata confirmed.

“These are, in fact, Christmas decorations that you’ve wrapped my hair with.”

“Yes-um, again!”

Aria’s left eye ticked a couple times. “Why are you wrapping my hair up in decorations?!”

“Because there was no more room on the trees, silly!” Sonata replied.

Aria growled. “No! I mean… WHERE are my star-headbands!”

It was Sonata’s turn to roll her eyes. “Well, on the trees, d’uh!”

Aria replied to this with unintelligible rage snarling before confusion took over her face. She glanced towards a corner of the room then seemingly remembered something. Her hands now free, she leaned over and grabbed a smartphone. After poking at it a bit, the camera moved, panning over a big purple couch, walls that already were covered with items such as pictures of the girls framed with golden frames, various gold and sparkly knick-knacks, and a large analog clock in a huge golden frame that resembled the sun. Added to what appeared to be more permanent additions were tons and tons of silver tinsel, and decals of Santa, elves, reindeer, and snowmen.

“Wait… Trees?! Our tree is right here!” Aria said as the camera rested on a tree that more LED light and ornament than actual tree at this point. An angel with a bugle pointed towards the ceiling, also covered in decals, was at the top. “And there are no stars!”

Sonata nodded. “I meant the trees outside!”

Aria said nothing and tapped on her phone, suddenly the laptop screen blazed so brightly Aria let out a startled yelp and quickly tapped on her phone to the light dimmed. Squinted, she noted that the flickering image on the laptop changed to something resembling an enchanted Christmas forest with a cement walkway going down the center. “The fuck did you get all those trees and decorations from?!”

“Well, some of the decorations are from your hair!” Sonata said.

“That’s just TWO things!” Aria cried. “It looks like you raided a Christmas tree farm and an entire department store worth of stuff out there!” Aria frowned heavily. “And remember you still need to behave, so please don’t say you actually did either of those things if you did or talk about where you get money from!”

“Oh! Like how I have piggy banks just full of blood-soaked bills from people I kill!”

“YES!” Aria snapped. “No more saying that stuff out loud to a public of millions of people, damn it!”

“Well, I didn’t steal anything for realzies!” Sonata insisted. “Just… all these people just put the trees outside like they didn’t want them anymore!”

“That’s ‘cause it’s past Christmas and they don’t, stupid,” Aria said.

“Well, I rescued them!” Sonata said proudly.

Aria shook her head. “They all got cut from their roots so we’re gonna have a yard full of dead ass-trees in a like a week.”

Sonata leaned towards Aria and placed a finger against her lips. “Aria! Shhhhh… Not in front of the trees!”

Aria rolled her eyes. “The trees aren’t here! That’s a video feed of the trees!” Aria said as she poked at her phone and the image on the laptop shifted back to that of the inside tree before panning back to Sonata and Aria. Her entire face tightened. “Also trees can’t hear anything because they’re fucking trees!”

“But they’re Christmas trees!” Sonata said with a voice bounding with hope, wonder, and a Christmas spirit so unconquerable that it would clearly destroy all threats and leave them lying bloody and dying on a pile of ripped up Christmas gift wrapping and discarded boxes in front of a flickering Yule-log fire before any harm would come to it.

Aria just sighed heavily and flicked at her phone slightly. “I am so mad you nerdy losers are upvoting like crazy at this exact moment…” she mumbled loud enough to be picked up. “What about all the decorations?!”

“Oh! All the Christmas stuff is on clearance right now, so I broke open my piggy banks, ‘Waddles’ and ‘Oh, Sweet Baby Christ, not in the Face!’ and bought it all with my ‘Will Never be Solved, Ever!’ murder money.”

Aria let out a sigh heavy with emotion, mostly frustration, and anger. She took a moment to simply glower out at Sonata with eyes that burned like blazing coal embers. “You’re lucky that snitches get stitches…”

“And they get stabbed!” Sonata said gleefully as she pantomimed a stabbing with a large knife complete with twist at the end as she retracted it.

Aria rolled her eyes. “Right, then they need stitches to fix the wounds!”

Sonata giggled. “Only if you leave them in a place where the paramedics can find them!”

Aria stared at Sonata blankly for a moment. “You know what… I changed my mind, it will be funny when you finally get arrested.”

“Hmmm… not for the nice policemen, it won’t be,” Sonata said. “Did you know police holsters are designed so someone not wearing them can’t get the gun out, but that if you’re really stealthy you can stil—”

‘KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!’

“Oh MY~!” Sonata warbled as she put a hand up to her cheek and once again stared directly at the camera. “I wonder who can that be?!”

“I told you we’re not doing any bits!” Aria snapped. “But, still…” Aria poked at her phone. “Lemme switch to the entryway camera so we can surprise peop—”

“IT’S SUNSET FREAKIN’ SHIMMER, ARIA!” a furious cry came from outside. “OPEN UP! IT’S COLD AS BALLS OUT HERE AND WE’RE COVERED IN PINE NEEDLES FROM HAVING TO WALK WITH OUR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE YOUR LAWN IS APPARENTLY COMPETING WITH THE FUCKING SUN IN TERMS OF BRIGHTNESS!”

“—le…” Aria said. “DAMNIT, SUNSET! I WAS DOING A THING!”

“You said ‘no bits’!” Sonata whined.

Aria nodded. “Right, but things are okay!”

“OPEN THE DOOR ALREADY OR YOUR ‘THINGS’ AND ‘BITS’ ARE GOING TO TARGETS FOR MY ‘FISTS’ AND ‘FEET!’”

Author's Note

Here's the original picture that kicked off this madness and the source!

Adagio and Sonata's outfits are based off THIS Christmas piece by greatcat14.

Wrap yourself in so that you can be unwrapped with plenty of guests and other picture inspired outfits! Perhaps there will be songs! Perhaps there will be cruddy, low-budget cartoons! Who really knows?!

Sex and Violence... but Festive! You know?

“Uuuugh, by Christ’s fake birthday-day, fine!” Aria Blaze uttered. She walked forward and pulled open the door. “He—”

‘THWACK!’

“OUCH! What the fuck?!” Aria said as she instinctively let her fist fly.

‘POW!’

“OW!” Sunset Shimmer forced her way into the door, grabbing a handful of what little material there was to be had from Aria’s outfit with her left hand and pulling in Flash Sentry with her right. Despite not being on the receiving end of any of the physical blows, Flash looked quite dazed. Meanwhile, Aria and Sunset both sported a couple of small bruises on their faces that would likely grow over the hours to come.

Letting Flash steady himself, Sunset reclaimed her left hand and expertly closed the door with a foot before pulling back her right fist.

Quick as a lightning, Aria made a circular motion with her left arm in front of her chest and removed the offending hand from her personage, pulling her right back to punch Sunset once more if necessary. “What the hell, Sunny?!”

“Your front lawn is some sort of eye-searing, radiation-producing DEATH FIELD and I had to walk through it just to get inside! It’s going to give someone cancer, Aria!”

Aria grit her teeth. “Well punch Sonata if you’re going to hit anyone! She set it up!”

Already close behind Aria, Sonata popped her head out to the sound of the bells on her outfit and laughed. “Oh, she won’t hit me! I’m too sweet and innocen—”

Sunset let her fist fly.

‘THUMP!’

“MOTHER FUCK!” Sonata exclaimed as she recoiled and instinctively covered up her injured cheek.

Aria snickered as she watched the display of violence, then tossed a glance at Flash. “What’s wrong with Flashy-boy?” she inquired as she pointed towards Flash with a thumb and with a look of mild concern. Flash said and did nothing, the young man not seemingly reacting to anything since arriving inside.

Sunset sighed heavily. “He’s had his sexual desires completely sated and its apparently taken some sort of weird psychological toll. He’s in a semi-catatonic state, it’s the whole reason I braved your tumor field.”

Aria smirked. “And what? You thought some hair of the dog that bit him might help?”

Sunset gave Aria a sideways look. “Was that a simple turn of phrase or a dig at Adagio?”

Aria shrugged. “A little from column ‘A’. A little from column ‘B’.”

Sonata’s face contorted in confusion. “Wait… that sounds like a good thing that happened to Flash!” Sonata waved her hands in front of Flash’s eyes to no perceivable reaction. “But he’s just like Aria when they closed down Matrix Online.”

Aria threw her hands in the air. “Dude! It was pretty much the greatest story of the 21st century! Of course, I was upset!” Aria held her palms upwards and tensed her fingers slightly in a 'Why?!' position. “I was not ready to be unplugged!”

Sunset rolled his eyes. “Anyways, Flash is a male high schooler who’s achieved his barely-post-pubescent dreams beyond his wildest imagination, so now he’s like a boat without a rudder… which has also had its sails set ablaze.”

Aria gave Sunset a smirk. “Was that a cue?”

“… No. Absolutely not. In fact, I regret—“

“Because, I’ll take it!” Aria said as she leaned forward, wrapped her arms around Flash’s neck and pulled him close to her. Sunset could only sigh heavily as she watched what followed. Aria leaned forward and Flash leaned back, only held up by Aria’s grip and her firm stance to hold herself and Flash up as she planted a kiss filled with fire and passion upon and inside Flash’s lips.

For a moment, the world seemed to stop for Flash. All that existed was him and Aria and the burning passion she was sharing with him. The glazed look in Flash’s eyes dissipated and he looked up at Aria. Parting his lips from hers he worked his mouth, finding it took a few moments for his lips to function as he would have expected. “Uh… Thanks? What was that for, though?” He asked, a look of genuine confusion on his face.

Aria narrowed her eyes and let go of Flash where he fell with a soft ‘thud’ to the floor below. “I’m mid-level to super pissed off at this lack of a development.”

“Well, blame Adagio!” Sunset said.

“I do blame her for most things that go wrong in my life,” Aria informed. “But Flash is kinda like the town dildo.”

Sunset made a quick gagging motion and brought a hand up to her mouth as Sonata giggled to herself.

Aira raised her phone to her face and flicked it a few times. “Also, Flash? You’re getting a ton of death threats…” She chuckled as she continued to flick at her screen. “Pretty heinous stuff, too…”

“Eh… Same stuff, different day,” Flash said simply from the floor.

Sonata leaned down and helped Flash to his feet. The boy wobbled, seemingly unconcerned that a lack of standing firm would send him back to the ground, so Sonata leaned him against the wall. Flash simply accepted his new propped-up position and leaned against the wall, slightly askew. Seeing Flash wouldn’t fall, at least not right away, Sonata nodded satisfactorily to herself.

“That’s the spirit! Or, complete lack thereof,” Aria replied to Flash. “Still, you get to bang quite a lot with a buncha different girls… I mean, as much I like to blame Adagio for things, I don’t know why she’s specifically the problem.”

The left side up Sunset’s lips pulled up into a small grimace. “Maybe living with her for so long, you haven’t noticed, but she’s like a sexual black hole.”

“…That is by far the best wording for someone calling Adagio a super-slutthat I have ever heard,” Aria admitted.

“No!” Sunset insisted. “I mean… yes, but what I meant was that she kinda sucks in the very idea of sex and destroys it at a molecular level in regards to comprehension of it.”

Aria pursed her lips slightly. “Er… It’s not that you’re wrong…”

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “But ‘what’, exactly?”

“Well…” Aria glanced at the ceiling momentarily then back at Sunset. “Just that I’ve been where Flashy-boy has been before and you just gotta kinda power through it until you can define what you want for sex on your own terms, you know?”

Sunset glanced at Flash who’s glazed-over look resumed as he opted to stare off into space. “Er, okay… Well, how long does that take?”

Aria’s lips pulled to the left side of her face. “How long do humans usually live?”

“You mean the things that Flash, myself, and you currently are?”

Aria shrugged. “Yeah. Those things.”

“80 years, give or take,” Sunset answered.

Aria glanced away and stroked her chin thoughtfully. “That’s a noteworthy timeline to fix this mess for us.”

“… What?” Sunset growled, her eyes narrowing.

“Yeah, but Flash is screwed,” Aria replied, refocusing her attention on Sunset. “And not in a good way… Or rather, he’ll do decades of good screwing in a feeble attempt to regain his sense of desire, but it’s probably not enough time.”

Sunset shot Aria an annoyed look. “Thanks for your help.”

“Dude, I tried!” Aria insisted. “You kisshim if you think it’ll make a difference.”

Sunset sighed. “Oh, I think I’m part of the problem at this point, or rather one of the symptoms!” She pursed her lips into a tight frown. “Adagio’s done a number on me too and now I need sex as an outlet for the bizarre feelings and weird stuff I have to deal with!”

Aria tilted her head slightly and smirked. “Oh? Then you’re going through the process pretty quickly… curious.”

Sunset once again narrowed her eyes at Aria. “This is serious!” She motioned towards Flash. “This is Flash we’re talking about! He plays the guitar and drives a mustang. I mean, no offense to Flash, but those are the tell-tale signs of a man who measures success in how much tail he can pull down.”

“… Yeah, that’s fair,” Flash agreed quietly.

“Now he’s peaked and he can’t even legally drink yet!” Sunset continued. Sunset looked around. “Where is Adagio, anyway? I kinda thought so long as there were webcams on, she’d instinctively be in front of them to whore it up.”

Aria shrugged. “She got upset that I was also dressed like ‘sexy Santa’ and ran off to change. I figured she’s probably taking a pair of scissors to a sash because it’s just ‘too modest’ for her taste.”

“I’ll be there in a minute, okay!” Adagio shouted down from upstairs. “Now that I know Flash needs some emergency TLC, I need to put together the right outfit.”

“There, you see!” Aria said. “She’s busy going through her outfit collection to find the skimpiest of the ultra-skimpy.”

Sunset pursed her lips as her forehead tightened. “Does ‘emergency TLC’ involve more sex?” she yelled back towards the stairs.

“… I don’t know why you’d even ask that!” Adagio fired back. “OH! And I heard that little ‘hair of the dog comment’, Aria! Don’t think I won’t embarrass you publicly for that!”

Aria rolled her eyes. “Yeah? What the hell do you think you’re even going to do about it?!”

“Hey, Aria’s sad, misguided fan-base!” Adagio shouted. “You’re worshiping a girl who CRIED at the end of Matrix Revolutions when Neo died! And I mean, sad, gross crying! She had to be CARRIED out of the theater and nearly insisted it was done funeral-style like in the movie so she could remember her idol one last time!”

Aria’s face suddenly went from purple to beat red. “Oh, you are so dead!” she declared as she suddenly stormed off towards the stairs.

Sunset watched Aria leave then turned to Sonata. “Er… Should we intervene?”

Sonata shrugged. “Eh. Adagio and Aria say they’re going to kill each other kinda a lot… I mean… they never make good on that threat. They’ll probably yell a bunch, maybe fight, then make out a bunch before coming back down.”

“Oh… Okay…?” Sunset replied as she raised an eyebrow. She glanced at the nearest webcam and frowned at it. “Well, what are we supposed to do in the meantime? Aria’s supposed to be running this show.”

“Oh! I have ideas!” Sonata declared.

Sunset tilted her head slightly. “Do any of them not involve dinosaur toys or puppets?”

“… I don’t know why’d you even ask that!” Sonata replied.

Suddenly, a round of frantic knocking was heard from the front door.

“Oh, who could that be?” Sonata asked coyly.

Sunset and Flash turned towards Sonata with expectant looks on their faces.

Sonata frowned slightly. “No, seriously. I have no idea who that could be.”

Flash looked on with a blank expression as Sunset’s face tightened in annoyance before she smiled in amusement. “Maybe it’s Solaire showing up to declare he’s renounced the sun and will now worship your front lawn.”

Sonata simply stared at Sunset in confusion.

Sunset sighed heavily. “Aria would have got that one…”

‘THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!’ “Darlings?!” A frantic voice called out from outside the door. “Can someone please let me in! I think I’m starting to blister!”

“Rarity!” Sunset exclaimed before she threw open the door, collected her friend with one arm as blinding light poured in, then quickly slammed the door shut.

Sunset and Flash looked over the new arrival in concern who seemingly passed out in Sunset’s arms. In addition to a sprig of holly in her hair, Rarity was wearing red arm-length gloves that ended in festive white puffballs and a dress with a wide sparkling red skirt below a green bodice supporting a green bust that allowed for much of Rarity’s cleavage to show with a bow in the front like Rarity was a present waiting to be opened.

The trouble was, that Rarity’s skin was now a color that matched the red of her outfit.

“Rarity! Rarity!” Sunset said frantically. “Speak to me!”

“No, no, no!” Sonata said. “You’re not supposed to say it like that!” Sonata put on a look of fake surprise and motioned to the seemingly catatonic woman. “Why, look who it is! It’s our good friend and fashionista, Rarity!” she announced with a huge grin that quickly dropped into a frown directed at Sunset. “It’s like you’ve never even seen a holiday special before!”

Sunset’s turquoise eyes seemed to smolder like lit coals directed in Sonata’s direction.

“Well it is!” Sonata insisted.

Author's Note

Thanks to Patreon supporter nuclearcore for his Rarity suggestion!

And again thanks to my editors who continue help fill out some of the crazy! :derpytongue2: