Do-nut Stress Over It

by Pickleless

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Comedy, Pony Joe, Rarity, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2001

Rarity and Donut Joe give each other a helping hoof.

After a unproductive day at work, Rarity joins Twilight for a meal at Donut Joe's.

(For SPark's crackship contest~)

Published 2017-12-30 23:40:06 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-30 23:40:06 UTC

Regular ol' Joe

Rarity had been rather stressed as of late. There hasn’t been anything to stir her muse lately. Fortunately, a break at Donut Joe’s with Twilight sounded absolutely splendid right now.

“So then I hear my Dad’s voice going “HO, HO, HO~ IT’S ME, STARSWAAAAAAHHHH!!”

“Do you have to mimic the volume of it, dear?”

“Because,” Twilight giggled, continuing, “Spike relit the fire place right as he came down!”

“How dreadful, that’s why you came here from the hospital?”

“He’ll be fine.” Twilight shrugged. “Probably. I mean dragon fire is deadly, but, you know, it’s Spike.”

“Of course.” Rarity nodded. “He never manages to destroy those adorable little suits I weave for him, and they’re not even fire retardant.”

“I remember you rushing to learn that for him, I’m glad it wasn’t needed.” Twilight exhaled in relief. “How is that going, by the way? I heard you’ve been trying to do simple enchantments on the dresses you sell.”

“I’ll be honest Twilight,” Rarity sighed, “magic is not my forte. With that said,” her face lit up like Twilight’s father, “I am beyond excited at the idea of dust-proof dresses!”

“Maybe I can help with that.” Twilight wiggled her eyebrows using her magic.

“I’m sorry, darling, but this goes beyond a friend’s favour. I need someone to be on call for any special order I receive. You shall be far too busy with your royal duties, you see…”

“I’m on vacation with my family. My Dad’s in the hospital, so it’s not like anything pressing is going on.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. Without magic.

“Well, I mean, my brother might need a shoulder to cry on, maybe Cadence too,” Twilight rolled her eyes, “and Spike.”

Rarity rolled her eyes right back at her, and took a long sip of tea. “Excuse me for a moment, darling, I need a refill on my tea.”

“UNCLE JOE! ORDER UP!”

“YOU CAN’T JUST SAY ORDER UP AND EXPECT ME TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, TWILIGHT.”

“YOU DID THAT ALL THE TIME WHEN I WAS A FILLY.”

“YOU ONLY WANTED THE COOKING BOOKS AND SOME HOT CHOCOLATE WITH SUN MARSHMALLOWS.”

“WELL RARITY WANTS TEA SO GET ON IT!!”

Rarity blinked. “Uncle?”

“Oh, Uncle Joe would babysit me all the time when they kicked me out of the library!”

“Your parents allowed you to wander the streets as a filly?”

“Yup!” Twilight cheered.

Donut Joe walked in carrying a tray of tea. Rarity noticed a couple of mares passing by the diner making eyes at him. In fact, so were some of the mares inside the diner. In fact, so was every mare except her and Twilight. She couldn’t possibly fathom why. He wasn’t ugly by any means but-

“Your tea, Miss Rarity.” He smiled, then trotted off.

Oh.

Oh yes now Rarity understood.

That flank was glorious.

“What a pair of buns…!” Rarity murmured.

“Yeah! They’re almond!” Twilight replied, munching on her snack.

“Mmm…” Rarity moaned. “So Mr.Joe used to watch over you, how old is he exactly?”

Twilight blinked and looked at him.

“You know… being around Celestia, I never questioned this, but, I’ve never seen him get a single wrinkle.”

“Really now.” Rarity narrowed her eyes, watching him closely. At least, one part of him closely.

“Oh! Uncle Joe is good at using precise magic!” Twilight smiled. “Maybe you can ask him for help!”

“Why, Twilight, what a very clever idea.” Rarity purred.

Perhaps Joe couldn’t help her enchant things, the two would have to get to know each other better for something like that, but… there were more enticing matters at hoof.

“Well, I’m off to help my Mom deal with the rest of my family.” Twilight grumbled. She popped the rest of her almond bun in her mouth before walking off with a wave.

“Take care dear~” Rarity called out, never looking away from Joe.

Rarity pulled out a pocket mirror, fixed a few stray hairs, something she would’ve done anyway, and put on a coy, winner’s smile.

Unfortunately, Rarity failed to realize that the excited triumph from a winner’s smile and the seductive, sneaky look from trying to look coy made her look a bit rapey. This wouldn’t be the first time Rarity had done this. Rainbow had convinced all her friends not to tell her though.

Joe saw her trotting up, and shivered.

“Well hello there, Miss Rarity.” Donut Joe forced a smile. “I hope you enjoyed your tea!”

“Yes, it was quite lovely. I’m surprised a donut shop serves such quality tea! Tell me dear, are you a personal fan?”

“We’re in Canterlot.” Joe pointed towards the crowd around him.

“Touché.” Rarity looked at the high class nobles nibbling on donuts. “I was wondering if an absolute gentlecolt like yourself would be interested in-”

Before Rarity could finish her sentence, she heard a rumbling nearby. She paused to look around her, and saw the ground start to shake.

“No.” Donut Joe said with a perfect stoic expression, while sounding like his parents were just murdered in front of him. Or had Dragon fire applied to their rear.

“What… What is going on-”

An endless swarm of screaming children broke through his glass windows, a manic look in their eye. Donut Joe slammed down on a button and pulled Rarity to the ground with him. She somehow landed right on his butt. Metal shutters slammed down, sealing off the counter.

“You okay, Miss Rarity… Miss Rarity?”

Rarity remained silent as her face was squished between his cheeks.

“Rarity?”

“Hmm, wha?” She pulled her face out with a blush and smile. “Yes dear?”

“Sorry, I’m afraid I’m going to have you wait back here while I deal with the customers. Are you fine with that?”

“Yes.” Rarity replied in an absent mind, eyes locked on the prize.

Donut Joe pulled out a microphone and forced a smile. “Are you kids hungry?”

Rarity heard a collection of demonic screams, shaking the building.

“Then come on up and order!”

Rarity watched as Joe struggled to make enough pastries in time for all the children. He opened a metal hatch, shoving it in, closing it, and pressing a button. Rarity assumed from the disgusting chewing noises on the other side, that a child was waiting at the other end.

A part of her christened the Element of Generosity couldn’t sit still.

“Do you need help, Mr-”

“Yes! Yes please.” Donut Joe’s eyes flicked at her.

“How do I help exactly?”

“It doesn’t matter what goes on what.” Joe replied. “The kids will eat anything. I mean anything.” Joe’s eye twitched. “All you have to do is grab a donut and make the frosting look nice.”

Rarity smiled, sounded easy enough.

While at first she tried to imitate some of the designs Joe made, Rarity couldn’t help but improve upon them. Soon, she found herself lost in her muse, making new designs on the pastries for dresses before sending them out.

“Really, Pinkie would love this, but I doubt I could use actual frosting… unless I used an enchantment.” Rarity smiled.

“Done!” Joe smiled.

Rarity flinched, the light brought in the outside world seemed too pure at the moment. The glass door entrance was shattered. Tiny hoofprints in frosting were everywhere, and all the other patrons had evacuated.

“That can’t be good for business.” Rarity frowned.

“It is actually, all of their parents pay me to not press charges. Their kids can let out energy and they don’t have to supervise them or deal with the results afterwards. It’s not fun, but it pays for gifts on the holidays. Miss Rarity...”

Rarity felt a hoof on hers, and she turned to see Joe’s deep green eyes staring into hers.

“If there’s anything I can do for you, please just ask.”

She put back on her coy winner’s smile. “Anything, darling…?”

Joe shivered. “Of course.”

Sweat rolled down Joe’s cheek.

“Faster, Joe Darling~” Rarity cooed. “We need these dresses done before the night ends!”

Sewing came remarkably fast to Joe. Controlling a needle with his magic was similar to putting fine details on a donut. Instead of holding it near the object, he was gently pulling through it.

“You’re doing a marvelous job, I couldn’t have asked for a better assistant.”

“Nothing to it but to do it.” Joe smiled, and redoubled his efforts. “How close to done are you with your half of the workload?”

Perfectly made dresses, very obviously complete, hung on racks nearby Rarity. She was sitting in her stool, watching the sweat roll down Joe's cheeks.

“Almost done, darling~” She swooned. “Don’t look back, I plan on wearing one and I want you to see how it looks when it’s done.”

“Of course.” Joe knew it was rude to watch a lady change clothing. Even when they’re normally naked. “So what’s Ponyville like? I imagine you don’t get too much trouble with you elements and the princess there.”

“On the contrary, trouble seems to have a crush on me!” Rarity laughed, before faking a gasp. “Oh woe is me! How will I ever deal with this horrific monster?” Needles flashed in the light as she spun them around her. “There is clearly nothing I can do!”

Joe shook his head at her tone, chuckling. “Well, I appreciate your efforts, Miss Rarity. Thank you for being the Element of Generosity.”

“Really, how so? That job has required me to travel, time to time, but I do believe I haven’t spent that much time in downtown Canterlot.”

“You think hard and work hard on how to make money.” Joe grunted as he struggled with a seam ripper. “You have other ponies mock you behind your back for being greedy, and you take it with a smile.

“You then take that money, and help those in need around you, without broadcasting that to the world. Then you go and make more money.”

Joe turned around and made eye contact with Rarity. “Thank you.”

The two stared at each other in silence. Rarity slowly got of her stool, and with grace, walked over and wrapped him a hug.

“No dear, thank you, but I must ask… If I’m not bragging about my efforts, then who did you hear it from?”

“Twilight Sparkle speaks very highly of you, Miss Rarity.”

Rarity had good friends. She would be making another batch of dresses for them after this.

“Dresses, darling.” Rarity brushed his face with her tail as she walked back. “I told you not to peek.”

“Don’t worry, I was only looking at you.” He went back to work.

“Sappy, dear, but sweet.”

Eventually, Joe finished the not very well made dresses, although rather impressive for his first time, and turned around. Standing before him was Rarity in a glittering purple dress that showed a bit of leg in the back.

“You’re beautiful!"

“Thank you~” Rarity blushed. “Here, Mr. Joe, is your suit.”

“Miss Rarity, I don’t need-”

“Please, I insist.” She levitated a suit over to him.

Donut Joe was always a handsome man, but his work uniform and profession always made his masculinity look silly rather than in charming. Upon donning his new suit he found actually rather liked how he looked, and subconsciously puffed out his chest a little.

“It’s been a pleasure getting to know you, but I have work in the morning. Perhaps ano-”

“How about next week at the cafe across from your store?” Rarity escorted him outside.

Joe smiled. “Sure, that sounds great!”

“Wonderful, it’s a date, darling~!”

Rarity kissed his nose, and closed the door on him.

Joe blinked.

Author's Note

I totally broke the rules and forgot about the situation aspect of what was provided for me, but I still had a lot of fun writing this. I hope you enjoyed it too~

EDIT: Ahhhhhh~! I just realized they if I tweaked it and kept it going a bit, I could've actually met the situation requirements! It's always after you post something, eh~?