Natural Instinct

by ashi

Rating: teen
Tags: Fluttershy, Applejack, Slice of Life, Death, Rainbow Dash, Sad, Drama, Equestria Girls
Length: 4465

When faced with stressful situations, Rainbow Dash has but one recourse open to her: to run; some things, however, cannot be outrun, outfought or outfoxed. Like losing a friend.

“I don't know why we even bother trying any more.”

Rainbow Dash is known by all to be a rather simple girl; when faced with any kind of problem, she invariably resorts to the same tried and true method of dealing with it: running. Very soon, however, she will learn that some things cannot be escaped.

Like losing a friend.

Published 2017-12-29 22:00:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-29 22:00:07 UTC

1. You Can't Outrun This

“Good news seldom arrives on the hooves of a bad night.”

Old Canterlotian saying.

*

Rainbow Dash was not the type of girl to have more than one thing on her mind at a time; there were those who thought of her as being stupid – or, at the very least, terribly ignorant – but she preferred to think of herself simply as having a very narrow focus of interest, namely sports.

Being a star competitor – especially one that was in their senior year of high school and had received numerous athletic scholarships from prestigious universities across the country – necessitated certain sacrifices. There were some that she was happy to make: fizzy drinks, salty snacks and late-night carousing.

Others, however, were a lot harder. Friendships, for instance.

She would normally have been asleep by now, preparing her body for a hard day of soccer practice in the morning, but Fluttershy's last accusatory message played on a loop in her mind.

“I don't know why we even bother trying any more.”

She listened to the gentle pitter-patter of the sloshing rain, hugging her pillow tighter; to say that the message was atypical of Fluttershy was an understatement, but over the past couple of years she had matured greatly, thanks in part to her friends' insistence that she stand-up for herself and be counted. She had become more confident, more assertive. She didn't allow things to fester as she once did.

In short, Fluttershy was quite happy to point out when her best friend was being an oblivious jerk.

Hefting a heartfelt sigh into the cool, dark room, Rainbow Dash stared at the not-quite-patterns of swirling moisture collecting on the window, painted orange by dint of the street-lights. “It's not like I want to blow you off every chance I get,” she said sourly, making a fist and rapping her knuckles off the headboard several times in a row. “That's why you've got … whatever his name is now, isn't it? It's not my job to go to every darned butterfly-migration with you.”

Closing her eyes, Rainbow Dash turned away from the window, trying to empty her mind; she was beginning to suspect, however, that this would not be her night. If there was anything that she was famed for – besides her athletic prowess – it would be her ability to sleep. It didn't matter if it was in class, in the locker room after training, on a park bench after a run. If she wanted to, she could fall asleep anywhere, at any time.

Just not now, apparently.

She considered fishing under the bed for the half-read Daring Do novel that lay there – Twilight Sparkle had just gotten a job as a librarian and had hooked her up with an advance copy of the latest one – when she was so startled by something vibrating loudly against her chest that she let out a girlish yelp and almost leapt out of the bed in a blind panic before she got herself back under control. Somehow, during all of her earlier tossing and turning, her 'phone had become lodged between her body and the pillow. Rainbow Dash grabbed the offending instrument and looked at the flashing screen.

No caller ID. That alone was almost enough to make her toss the thing aside and try to get back to sleep, but her curiosity was piqued; if it wasn't her friends or her parents, who else would be trying to call her so late at night? At least if it was some telemarketer who didn't quite understand how time-zones worked she could blow off some steam by hurling invective at them until they hung-up.

Rainbow Dash, unknowingly, set a new record for a 'phone call involving herself: least amount of words uttered per minute. The conversation – such as it was – lasted for about three minutes, with Rainbow Dash using one word per minute.

A polite, “Hello?”

A strained, “What?”

An anxious, “Okay.”

Once the caller hung-up, Rainbow Dash tossed her 'phone aside, jumped out of bed, stripped off her pyjamas and got into her normal clothes as quickly as she could. She didn't even bother to straighten her hair or deodorise before rushing downstairs. Thankfully, she found her parents still awake – though thoughts of stealing the car had crossed her mind if they hadn't been – watching some dull late-nights news programme or other.

“Dashie,” her father said, his eyes widening in surprise at the sight of his daughter looking so unkempt. “I thought that you'd have been asleep by now for training tomorrow. Is everything all right? You look a little bit pale, in fact.”

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak, only to discover in that moment that she couldn't; the only noise that came out of her throat was a strangled croak, and she wondered just what in the heck that it was supposed to be.

Concerned, her parents got up out of their chairs and approached her; she could see the worry in their eyes, and it was her mother who spoke now, “Rainbow Dash, what is it? What's happened?”

Taking a deep breath, Rainbow Dash tried again. “Fluttershy,” she eventually managed to say, barely recognising her own voice. Sure, it was known to crack a little – especially when she was excited – but this was ridiculous. It was practically shattered now. “Fluttershy's been in an-” she wiped away a globule of something that she didn't want to identify from her nose with the sleeve of her jacket “-in an accident. Would you mind, I mean, can you give me a lift to the hospital, please?”

Her parents looked at each other quickly, then they both nodded. Rainbow Dash knew that her parents were supportive of her – sometimes to embarrassing and awkward extremes, though she'd long since come to accept that it was simply because they loved her and wanted to be her number one fans – and that they would give her their support now more than ever.

She was quietly grateful to them on the journey to Canterlot Hospital; it was not an especially long trip, though the inclement weather did slow things down somewhat, and they didn't try to talk to her the entire time. They allowed her a few moments of peace, to marshal her thoughts, to prepare for whatever was in store for her when they arrived. It was an extremely precious gift, the silence. Even when they clocked her fidgeting and shifting uncomfortably in her seat, they let her be, allowing her the illusion of pretending that they hadn't noticed their super-cool daughter being fragile and vulnerable.

“We're here,” her father said, cutting into her thoughts.

Rainbow Dash looked around, blinking. Through the haze of rain, she could just about make out the main building of the hospital. Contrary to how pristine and white they always looked on television, this one was made out of a dark, grey stone that gave it a rather oppressive air. The weather definitely did not help with the image. Nor did the irregular pattern of lights in the windows.

“Um,” she said slowly, “would you guys mind-?”

“If you need us,” her mother said gently, “we'll be here.” She offered her daughter a reassuring smile.

Rainbow Dash undid her seatbelt quickly, opened the door and bounded out toward the hospital; she returned less than a split-second later, poked her head back into the car and said, “ThankyouyouguysareawesomeIloveyou,” then darted off again.

Bow Hothoof and Windy Whistles watched her go, then looked at each other; both of them silently acknowledged the fact that, though she was a bit of a hothead at times, they'd raised such a good daughter together.

*

Upon entering the hospital, Rainbow Dash found herself a little bit overwhelmed; it was much too bright, and it took her cerise eyes a moment to adjust to the harsh glare. It was far too warm, too, and the antiseptic smell from the wards forced its way up her nostrils. She felt a pool of nausea form in her stomach, and it wasn't just because of why she was even here in the first place. People – doctors, nurses, orderlies, patients, family and friends – went to and fro', barely paying her any heed unless she happened to be directly in their path. More than once, she was on the receiving end of an irked, “Can you get out of the way, please?”

After a confused moment, she spotted the information desk and made her way to the young-looking receptionist behind it. She was next in line when she happened to spot Mrs. Shy, Fluttershy's mother, loitering pensively near a coffee machine.

Rainbow Dash ducked out of line and made her to the older woman; she bore a small resemblance to Fluttershy, though her skin was a darker shade of yellow and her hair a deeper rosé. Even when she was standing right next to her, Rainbow Dash got the impression that Mrs. Shy didn't even notice that she was there. Well, made sense, she supposed. She had more important things to worry about right now.

“Mrs. Shy, hello,” Rainbow Dash said quietly, trying to attract her attention with a wave of her hand.

She didn't answer right away; she looked startled, in fact, to see the girl with the polychromatic mane standing there. Instead of speaking – which she didn't seem capable of at the moment – she pulled Rainbow Dash into a tight hug. Rainbow Dash felt a little bit uncomfortable, but knew that it would be impolite to do anything other than return the embrace. She spotted another group of people in the waiting room adjacent to the coffee machine. There was definitely something familiar about them, but she didn't know what it was, so focused was she on surviving the attentions of Fluttershy's mother.

Finally, Mrs. Shy extricated herself from Rainbow Dash. “Sorry,” she said awkwardly, “I didn't mean to be so clingy. It's just that-”

“-It's okay, Mrs. Shy,” Rainbow Dash said, holding up a hand to cut her off before she could launch into a prolonged spiel. “Is there any news?”

She shook her head.

“What happened?”

“They were going to the cinema,” Mrs. Shy said, her eyes darting in the direction of what Rainbow Dash presumed was the ward where they were operating on Fluttershy. “I told Fluttershy not to take the car because of the weather. She's only just passed her test, you know? About a month or so ago, I think.” She shook her head, her vision blurring. “She didn't want to have to wait for a bus to get to the farm, then have to get another bus back into town.”

“The farm?” Rainbow Dash asked, her eyes narrowing. “Why would she need to go to the farm?” Her eyes drifted in the direction of the waiting room again and she felt a sucker punch to the gut as she realised who it was in there.

“To pick-up Big Mac, of course,” Mrs. Shy replied, giving Rainbow Dash a questioning look. “Didn't you know that they were dating? I was so sure that she would've told you right away.”

“Communications breakdown, I guess,” Rainbow Dash said, her blood running cold. She mentally kicked herself, and swore that she would kick herself just as hard as she possibly could when she got back home later. No wonder Fluttershy had been so insistent on meeting up the past few weeks. She wanted to tell me in person!

Mrs. Shy joined Rainbow Dash in looking over at the waiting room. “Big Mac's sisters are in there along with that dear, old grandmother of theirs.” She shook her head sadly. “They've had so much to deal with over the years already, too.”

Rainbow Dash nodded, remembering how reclusive Applejack had been in the days following her parents' funeral. She forced herself to think of Fluttershy again. “But how did she, I mean, how did they end up in here?”

“Huh? Oh. The main intersection in town was flooded and it caused a big pile-up. With the conditions the way there, they're suggesting that Fluttershy didn't see it in time and ended up crashing into the back of another car,” said Mrs. Shy. “When she wakes up from the surgery, we figured that yours would be the first face that she'd want to see.”

“I hope that's still the case,” Rainbow Dash replied quietly, trying to ignore the subtle shade of If Mrs. Shy had been consciously trying not to voice. “Would you excuse me for a moment? I should go and see how Applejack is.”

“Of course,” Mrs. Shy said, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Give her our best, please?”

“Will do.”

*

“Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said, brightening somewhat at the sight of her friend as she entered the waiting room. “It's good to see you.” She was under no illusions about the fact that she was really here out of concern for Fluttershy, but her flagging spirits were revived all the same.

“You, too,” Rainbow Dash replied, waving to the others, too. Apple Bloom was practically buried in Granny Smith's lap whilst the elder Apple gently stroked her hair to soothe her. “Are you guys holding up okay?”

“We're-” Applejack managed a rueful smile “-we're fine, mostly.” Her face turned dark. “Big Mac's in a pretty bad way, though. Worse, even, than Fluttershy, they told us. They, um-” she had to fight back tears “-they said that they'll know more in a couple of hours.”

It was a terrible thing for Rainbow Dash to see someone as strong as Applejack breaking down; she pulled her close, allowing the girl to sob against her chest until her jacket and t-shirt were soaked through. She felt numb. For the first time, she believed what everyone said about her behind her back: that she was dumb, that she was ignorant, that she only cared about herself. Worst of all, she felt like a fraud being here right now, amidst these actual, hurting relatives. These past few weeks, she hadn't been much of a friend to anyone, least of all Fluttershy.

“Sorry,” Applejack said, looking abashed.

“It's okay,” Rainbow Dash replied, smiling thinly.

“Have you heard anything about Fluttershy yet?”

Rainbow Dash shook her head.

“She'll be okay.”

“I hope so.”

*

In moments of stress, Rainbow Dash's natural instinct was to run; whether it was simply to burn up excess energy, to confront or to escape a problem, running was as ingrained in her as farming was in the Apple family. Someone must've noticed her muscles tensing or the flighty look in her eyes, however, as she felt a hand being placed on her shoulder. It was just a bit too firm to be simple gentle reassurance. She looked up to see Mrs. Shy with an expression on her face that suggested she understood how Rainbow Dash was feeling.

I wish I could run away from all this, too, she was saying, but we owe it to Fluttershy to stay.

The hours passed in a blur; every so often, a doctor would approach the waiting room, then suddenly veer off at the last minute. If the atmosphere had been just a little bit less fraught, Rainbow Dash might've suggested having a bet on what time they'd eventually get any news at.

Finally, some time early in the morning when no one reasonable should still be awake, two doctors arrived; Rainbow Dash stood with the others, then belatedly realised that she was rather surplus to requirements here. The Shy family was invited to one room and the Apple family another. Rainbow Dash was about to sit back down when Mrs. Shy said something to the doctor, indicating the lone girl in the waiting room, and he nodded.

Mrs. Shy waved invitingly her.

“Thank you,” Rainbow Dash said when she caught up with them. “You didn't have to do this.”

“You're basically a part of the family,” Mr. Shy said.

Rainbow Dash froze for a moment, feeling a lurch in her stomach. That one hurt. Still, at least it managed to – temporarily, anyway – take her mind off of the fact that she might just have been brought into a room to hear that her best friend was now dead.

“Mr. and Mrs. Shy,” the doctor said. He looked at Rainbow Dash curiously. “Uh, Miss-?”

“Oh, this is Rainbow Dash. A friend of our daughter's,” said Mrs. Shy quickly.

“Miss Dash.” The doctor quickly consulted his notes. “First, the good news: Fluttershy has come through her surgery with flying colours.”

Mr. and Mrs. Shy embraced each other and offered an encouraging smile to Rainbow Dash. It didn't take long for the mood to turn bleak again. “Can we assume, then, that there's also bad news?” asked Mr. Shy.

“She'll have to remain in an induced coma for another few days until the swelling in her brain goes down,” the doctor replied. “We won't know if she's suffered any lasting traumatic brain injury until she wakes up and we can test her, I'm afraid.”

“What does that mean?” asked Mrs. Shy.

The doctor hesitated for a moment before responding. “Simply put, if she has sustained such an injury, she will require months of rehabilitation, her personality could be a bit different from what you remember, and she may have suffered some slight memory loss. As I said, we won't know until we have the opportunity to test her.”

“But … she will be okay?” Mrs. Shy asked quietly.

“We're optimistic about her chances for making a full recovery,” said the doctor, inclining his head slightly. “Even if she doesn't have brain damage, she will require a great deal of physical therapy to recover full use of her legs.”

“You can help her with that,” Mr. Shy said through his tears to Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash said, forcing a smile as she wrapped her arms around herself.

*

Rainbow Dash's sense of relief – numbed as it was by the knowledge that she hadn't been a very good friend to Fluttershy lately – wasn't given much time to blossom; just as she exited the doctor's office a discreet few paces behind Mr. and Mrs. Shy, she happened to catch a glimpse of Applejack and her kin leaving a similar room where they'd had, she assumed, a very similar conversation. Going by their tear-streaked faces, she quickly amended her opinion and her stomach felt very hollow all of a sudden. She wondered whether or not it was appropriate to approach them right now, but she couldn't stand the not-knowing for very long and made her way over cautiously.

“Applejack, hey,” she said quietly when she was within earshot, “er, I'm not intruding, am I?”

“Hm?” Applejack blinked a couple of times to clear the tears from her eyes. “Big Mac, uh, um.” She couldn't find the words right away. “He … he didn't make it.”

Feeling her own eyes well-up, Rainbow Dash said, “I'm so sorry.” She hugged Applejack tightly. “I'm so incredibly sorry, Applejack. I mean, god, I don't know what to say. He was a good man. He was always there when you needed him.”

“Not any more,” Applejack said bitingly. She looked into Rainbow Dash's surprised eyes and quickly said, “I'm sorry, I didn't-”

“-It's okay. If shouting at me makes you feel better, fire away,” replied Rainbow Dash. I deserve it, anyway. She felt empty and sick; it was doubtless not a patch on what Applejack and her family were feeling, and she wished that there was something she could do or say that would make things okay, but there just wasn't, was there? She settled instead for holding the other girl loosely in her arms, allowing her to cry freely. Rainbow Dash made silly little cooing noises, the type that she'd often heard parents making at fussy children. She knew it was stupid and probably pointless, but the only alternative was doing nothing and that was anathema to her.

Granny Smith, she noted, was employing a similar tactic with Apple Bloom. She wished she could tell the younger girl that things would be okay, but it seemed wrong to lie in Applejack's presence.

“Rainbow Dash,” Mrs. Shy said, trying to speak quietly enough that Applejack would not notice her presence, “we're going to head home now. The doctors said that we could come back and sit with Fluttershy in the morning once she's a bit more stable. Are you going to need a lift?”

“That's okay, my parents-” it suddenly dawned on her that they'd been sitting with no word from her all this time in the car “-are waiting for me.” Without loosing her grip on Applejack, she fished in her pockets until she found her 'phone; there were a number of missed calls and messages, and she was actually rather surprised that they hadn't come in to find her during the night. Quickly, she sent them a text outlining the situation and that she'd be out in a couple of minutes. That done, she asked, “Would you mind if I come with you tom... er, later?”

“Not at all,” replied Mrs. Shy. “Will you be ready around nine-ish.”

Rainbow Dash nodded. “Uh-huh.”

“Miss Apple,” Mr. Shy said solemnly, “we're so terribly sorry for your loss. If you need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to call us.”

Of the three Apples, it was only Granny Smith who seemed to have heard him. She accepted his words with a kindly, if distant, smile. She'd seen a lot in her time, but that didn't mean that she'd become inured to it.

With the Shys now gone, Rainbow Dash held Applejack by her shoulders. “Can I ask you for a favour? It's, um, it's a bit … personal.”

“What is it?” asked Applejack, using her balled fists to rub away the tears until her eyes were red raw.

“Would you mind, uh, if I went to see Big Mac? Just to say goodbye, you know?”

Applejack hesitated for a moment, wondering what her brother would have wanted. He wouldn't have wanted a fuss, she realised suddenly and almost grinned. Almost. “If you think you can handle it, sure,” she finally said.

“Thanks.”

*

Pausing at the door to the room which contained Big Mac's – god, she really didn't want to think of him as a corpse or a body – remains, Rainbow Dash took a deep breath; she'd just about got used to the hospital air, but taking that much in at one time almost made her gag and some of the passing nurses looked at her oddly as she coughed her lungs out, wondering if they were going to have yet another patient to deal with.

It was difficult to believe that the strong, silent, helpful, loving and kind man who had always been there when anyone needed him was now gone.

It didn't matter who the person was either; Big Mac had been blessed or cursed with an inability to ever truly hold a grudge against anyone, and would always spare a moment for even the worst of people. Rainbow Dash, as she pushed the door open, idly wondered if he'd ever taken any time for himself and his own pursuits. She hoped that all those who had been touched in some way by his altruism would take a moment to remember him.

When I die, I wonder what they'll say about me. Approaching the gurney, Rainbow Dash said, “I'm so sorry that I didn't get to know you better, Big Mac.”

As she got closer, she saw that one side of his face had been practically caved-in by the force of the impact; what was left was covered with bruises, and combined with the smell, Rainbow Dash – who hadn't eaten for more than twelve hours – dry-heaved.

Recovering herself, she stood over the body, finally allowing herself to cry openly. Now that no one was here to judge her, to find her uncool, to make fun of her, she allowed the tears to fall free. They fell on Big Mac. They soaked the already sodden sheets. She didn't care. “I'm sorry that I passed on all those chances to get to know you better. Fluttershy tried, she really did, but I managed to find some excuse to bail.” She sighed. “I didn't always have a good reason either. Sometimes, I just couldn't be bothered, you know?”

She looked back momentarily, making sure that no one was standing there. “I know everyone probably says this, but if I had been there … I mean, I might've spotted the danger before either of you two did. I might've been able to warn Fluttershy to stop or swerve out of the way before impact. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there.”

It should have been me, not either of you two. You didn't deserve this.

Rainbow Dash put a hand on Big Mac's arm, hoping that she wasn't being improper or disrespectful, fighting the urge to recoil at how cold it had become already. “They said that Fluttershy's gonna be okay, though they won't know for certain for another few days. Um, I thought that you might want to know.” She wiped away some of the excess snot and tears with the back of her sleeve. “I'll look after her for you, okay? I dunno how she's gonna cope with you, but I'll see her through it somehow. I promise I'll never let her outta my sight again.”

*

Time passed. How much, she wasn't sure; it was impossible to focus on anything mundane after what had just happened, and she gawped at her 'phone's clock as if it were displaying hieroglyphics or something. It was almost daylight by the time she made it back to the car, and she found that her parents had fallen asleep, tilting their chairs back in order to be a bit more comfortable. As quietly as she could, Rainbow Dash opened the back door and crawled inside. She stretched her lanky frame out as much as she could across the seat and used her jacket as a pillow. Dozens of thoughts came at her all at once:

How are the others gonna react to all of this?

Will Applejack and her family be okay?

What would Fluttershy be like after she woke up?

What would she be like when she learned of Big Mac's death?

Will she still want me as a friend …?

Finally, mentally, spiritually and physically exhausted to a point that she'd never, ever experienced before in her short life, Rainbow Dash managed to fall into a fitful sleep.