Thorlestia and Luni

by Cosy Purity

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, Comedy, Thor, Crossover, Random
Length: 1357

Stan Lee, lost on ideas, ponified a portion of his marvel-verse. This can't end well.

When MLP meets Marvel Stan Lee there is no guarantee that the world will ever be the same again. Once this is all said and done, will there be a world at all?
Watch the events unfurl by the pencil of the manic Stan, and decide for yourself if you'll change your mind about never watching a DC movie again.
On the other hoof, if all goes well, perhaps other stories of this universe will meet the same fate.
Who knows? All that matters now is the aftermath before you. Lives are going to be changed.

Published 2017-12-30 05:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2017-12-30 05:40:07 UTC

A hulking vision for all to marvel

Stan Lee was looking over his endless masterpieces, an inspiration for pride and a well-deserved sense of achievement if anyone saw one. But,
were someone to be creepily spectating from behind a fern, the surely-soon-to-be-criminal would see... what? A look of dissatisfaction upon the cameo-master's expression? It couldn't be.

***

And yet, it was. Poor old Lee had begun tossing a perfectly published series with fury, and thrown up his hands into the air like he just didn't care with imminent despair.

"It just isn't enough," he hissed aloud, glaring at the tumbled pile of magazines on the floor, "sure, movies have been made... millions gained... and excessively rampaging Chris Hemsworth fangirls to boot. But it's not what I want. It never turned out the way I liked it."

He grabbed a pencil and a notepad, a glint of insanity in his eyes as he whispered, "it needs a rewrite. A new fanbase. And I know just what'll get the public's attention. Oh, yes..."
He giggled as he began scribbling vigorously.

The most terrifying decision Stan Lee would ever make had begun... and there was no going back.

Thorlestia was sitting in the throne room beside her mother, Fausden.

All day and all night, subjects had either attempted to amuse them with plays, songs, and even shameful compliments, or complained to oblivion and reported dangers arousing outside of the kingdom, perhaps potential threats to the peaceful land of Cantergard.

"One day, Thorlestia, everything the light touches will be yours," Fausden murmured, her old voice lilting and content.

Thorlestia rolled her eyes and turned in her throne to face her mother, grumbling,
"What use is a ruler when this kingdom is so peaceful anyways? Why must I be the ruler? Why me?"

"Such a whiny child," Fausden murmured with amusement, "you go on like that like a little babe and ponies will begin to suspect that you weareth your mother's drapes."

"Hush!" Thorlestia hissed through her teeth with much embarrassment, "no need to tell the whole world! Besides, you know I have nothing nice to wear. Your clothes are the only ones that fit me, anyways."

"How charming," Fausden muttered nonchalantly, waving her hoof, "next you'll be copying my eye patch. Don't tell me you're so childish you would lose an eye to imitate me."

"Only if a secret sister you never told me about decided to end the world along with my eye and my beloved hammer," Thorlestia growled defensively.

A sudden nervousness washed over Fausden and she stammered,
"S-secret sister-- why, pff, how absur-- ah! Ahaha! Now you've done it. Oh, if I had my other eye..."
"What?" Thorlestia interrupted, irrationally screeching, "what if you had your other eye?!"

"Ohhhhhohoho, you don't wanna know."

"I don't wanna know? Huh, lots of secrets you have there! Is there anything you will tell me?"

"I'll tell you one secret I've been keeping since you were born."

"What's that?"

"I really dislike your face."

"WHA---"

***

"Hmm," Stan Lee said to himself, "this banter has gone long enough. Time to shift gears. . . ."

Thorlestia had returned to Cantergard after an escapade with the Ponvengers, to find out terrible news that all of her subjects were bombarding her with:
Fausgard was dead.

....Wait a minute, that isn't kid-friendly...

Excuse me; Ahem, Fausgard was missing.
Where she had gone off to, nopony knew.

In the midst of both joy and horror, Thorlestia ran right into the palace and straight to the throne room.
She stopped cold and reared in shock.

"Ah, greetings, dear sister,"
A mocking voice rose from the one seated triumphantly upon the throne.

"Luni," Thorlestia whispered, voice shaking.

"Don't call me by that impish name," the darker sibling groaned, "I wish to be known as Queen Nightmare..." she paused for effect and locked her gaze with her sister, a wide smirk upon her face, "ruler of Cantergard."

Thorlestia drew back her lips in a snarl and, igniting her horn, summoned her hammer.

Luni's eyes lit with scornful surprise.
"Oh, you think you're gonna beat me with that?"
Her eyes grew dark along with the rest of her as she began her sudden transformation, hair becoming nebulaeic, her coat a shimmering black, her wings bat-like and peculiarly icy, and a horned crown formed upon her head along with a glowing staff to match.
She let out a fierce cackle.

Thorlestia prepared her levitating hammer, tensing for the leap as she made ready to attack.

"Oh, you think I'm going to waste my first waking moments as ruler on you?" Luni snickered, waving the strange blue-glowing staff to and fro, "silly 'Elder-Child'... our reckoning awaits us much later. You could scarcely beat me now anyways... consider it a mercy."

Thorlestia only glared back.

"I'm going down to the one place you'd truly despise me to..." The Nightmare continued,
"Ponearth."

"Luni,"
Thorlestia whispered, eyes widening with terror.

Luni smiled.
"Ah, but I've only just begun. Once I conquer Ponearth, and your little stallion-friend who strangely resembles Padme, I'll--"

"No, I mean, Luni," Thorlestia interrupted.

Luni looked back at her sister, for the first time in surprise.
"Hmm?"
She uttered, curious.

Thorlestia stepped forward and set down her hammer to hold out a new object, appearing to be some sort of Ponearth candybar.

"Luni," Thorlestia murmured, drawing close to her sister so that they were now face to face, holding out the candybar with a look of urgency in her eyes.

"W-w... what?"
Luni stammered.
Thorlestia pressed the candybar to her sister's lips.
"Luni," she said one more time.
"You're not you when you're hungry."

***

"O yes," Stan Lee exclaimed with his fists in the air, "it is beautiful."

After Luni had eaten the candybar that was conveniently rainbow-flavored, all was well.
"Thank you, my sister," she said after throwing the candy wrapper onto The floor.

Only one question remained.
"Wait a minute," Thorlestia said, then pressed her muzzle to her sister's face, "what the heck did you do to our mother?!"

"A-a-ah, ah, well, about that," Luni stammered, raising a hoof.

"And hold on a minute!" Thorlestia exclaimed, "where did you get that blue cube staff?!"

"O-oh, eheheheh, aha, yes, that's quite a story I should love to tell you eventu--" Luni began, only to be cut off once more.

"Sweet Captain Aponica!"
Thorlestia screeched, "what the Iron Mare have you done to him?!"
Subsequently she whirled around and wildly gestured a hoof to an old looking pony for emphasis.

"That-- now, that is a funny story..." Luna said weakly.

The old pony looked at both sisters and shrugged.
"Ah, I didn't really need my writing skills anyway," he said, looking back down at the scribbled mess that filled his entire notepad where he pressed his pencil thoughtfully, as if trying to decide on the next line but eternally stuck where his pencil point lay.

Thorlestia howled in Luni's face,
"How could you take away Stan PoneLee's writing skills?! Of all the crimes!"

Luni lifted both hooves defensively in front of her face, quaking a little with regret,
"N-now don't worry, sister, I can make it all better..."

***

Stan Lee looked up from what he'd just written and then looked at You. He shrugged.
"Well, I didn't say it would be good."

Author's Note

This marks my very first one-off on this site. I went completely random because I had no ideas and wanted my thoughts out somehow. So I took the place of Stan Lee and ruined his franchise forever.

A different story was going to be my first one-off but I'm actually working hard on it and I want it to be good. So trash gets to take it's place in the spotlight while I attempt to get over this cruel writer's block.

It's kinda like when the fandom was going to get the first ever fan-made episode in Double Rainboom but Dusk Dawn stole it's thunder.
Ah... that does not bode well for either of my stories, does it?

No matter... what's done is done and I can have no regrets.