Stupid Dress Stupid Ponies
It's Not a Frock!
"What a wonderfully boring day" Sweetie watched her sister waltz around the showroom floor like a schoolyard filly prancing and swaying, Bowing to her imaginary guests. Her gown flowing and following her every step.
Sweeties mind pondered the camera in front of her. Rarity wanted some shots of her newest creation, A wedding gown commissioned for Sugar Belle to be at the ready for that big question from Big Mac. It was a fine Equesrian country tradition that most fillies kept for marehood. Even AppleJack had a hand me down gown from her Ma and Granny Smith.
Rarity was lost in her dream of catching her prince charming, Her little world spinning and gliding across a palace courtyard dancing her first and only wedding waltz. Flowers and ribbons decorated every post and pillar, royal guests lined the halls to witness the Lady Rarity show off her lawfully wedded catch of a lifetime, she was convinced this time was it, No Trenderhoof, No Prince Blue Blood, This time was the right time, Her time. His time. His wings flared in excitement her cheeks flushed red.
The goblets and glasses were raised in a toast for the bride and groom his tie and eyes glimmered and Raritys eyes sparkled under the wedding vial a sudden flash of light interrupting her dream.
"Sweetie Belle!" a surprised Rarity scolded.
"Well you wanted me to take pictures for your new catalog".
"Well if you please don't ambush your subject! If you wish to excel at capturing this fabulousness in action say Cheese!"
"Cheese" FLASH!
"SWEETIE!"
FLASH! "cheese".
As Raritys eyes adjusted from Sweeties camera flashy assault her eyes pained her as she refocused on her startled Spikey Wikey floundering at the front entry of her show room, His eyes full of flash and hearts. He would of made quite the resounding thud on the hard floor if Rarity hadn't gathered up the love struck dragon.
Blabbering "I...I...I...Duh!" as he fainted his new wings extended in a grand display of passion or as Rainbow Dash would put it as a mater of fact "A Pegasus class nine wing boner". It was no wonder why Rarity was rarely invited to his flying lessons at least in public, Spike would of surly fallen to his doom.
Rarity used her magic to keep Spikes wings from injury as she wrapped her hooves around him moving to her favorite chase lounge. Sweetie watched her big sis lay the drake down her vial and gown flowing around the two, their noses closing in tight, tighter, tighter, Boop!
FLASH! FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!
"SWEETIE BELLE!"
Sweeties laughter filled the air as Rarity stumbled over the dragons body straddling his unconscious form. If it was any other time Rarity would excuse herself like a lady and wait for his wings to calm down and his welcomed return to the waking world.
But now? FLASH! A final blast of light and a laugh Sweetie quickly escaped with the camera and the scandalous prints of her and poor Spikey Wikey.
Right now she was a mare of action, With her dragon safely resting she turned her attention to the task at hoof.
Get Sweetie Belle!
Rarity exited her boutique and locked the door after hastily turning the sign to "CLOSED", She scanned the area and saw the infamous Miss little Belles tail vanish in the crowd at the market square. Rarity was going to be all over her like the half price fabric at barnyard bargains weekend after Hearth Warmings day sale! It was on!
She galloped at a brisk pace and thought maybe it would of been better to take the gown off before...
Laughter filled her ears as she neared the first vendors stall in the market square.
AppleJack had a big smile as tears filled her eyes
"Ya know that picture of you and Spike looks mighty cute".
Raritys icy glare silently replied.
"Saw your sister skedaddle over that way, Be sure you don't let Big Mack see ya, It's bad luck ya know".
"It's only bad luck if the brides in it!"
"Then don't let your Spikey Wikey see you in it".
"Not a word!"
"Really?"
"..."
Rarity darted off after Sweetie her direction seemed to be a bee line right to Twilight castle "You are so going to be grounded!"
She picked up the pace being sure not to sweat all over her customers gown, but then again Twilight could do a quick cleaning spell if worse came to worse. A voice above her made Rarity to take pause.
"I bet that dress gave Spike an awesomely massive wing boner!"
"Not a word Rainbow Dash and it's a gown, not a frock, not a dress, not a skirt. But a fashionable gown that every mare wants for her special day! A gown Rainbow Dash!"
"What ever, I bet it got that little guys wings going!"
"Not a word!"
Rainbow flew off laughing "Yea I bet it was a class nine on the Pegasus scale"
Stupid dress, Stupid Sweetie Belle!
The castle door closed behind her the echo of her hoof steps filled the hallway as echos of a serious debate filled the map room. Rarity slipped off the gown and vial and tippyhooved to where she could hear Twilight and Sweetie arguing. The echos making it almost imposable to decipher what or who was in deep water, But no doubt was in her mind to nip this whole affair in the bud!
Rarity closed her eyes and boldly entered the map room ready to do a battle of honor and capturing those pictures before any scandalous matters were to raise their ugly heads!
"Pardon me Sweet eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?" Rarity wilted under the gaze of the Midnight Princess. Who looked down at the melting marsh mellow through her half rimmed glasses. Before her a steaming frothy cup of cocoa and a bunch of photographs eight by ten glossy prints of what looked like a very happily wedded couple.
Luna spoke coldly as the pictures were laid out one by one
"What do you have to say about this? Never in a thousand years have I seen such a mockery such as seen here before me."
Rarity squeaked.
"Well what do you say in your defense?" Luna waited.
Rarity panicked and groveled at the hooves of royalty shaking pleading
"Spike's innocent! It's all a misunderstanding I assure you!"
Twilight instructed Sweetie "You turn the lens here for the proper focal point".
Rarity bawled "I would do nothing to violate Equestrian laws but he's so adorable and Sweetie doesn't know any better!
Please just send me to the moon, I'm responsible!"
Luna smirked "Why should I send any pony or dragon for that matter to the moon?"
Sweetie asked Twilight "What's F stop?"
Rarity cried "For those lasciviously offensive images, Please don't punish my Spikey or Sweetie Please?"
"Lady Rarity what are you lamenting about?" a snicker slipped from Lunas lips.
"You said it was an offence to kiss a dragon!"
Twilight picked up the quivering marsh mellow as Luna continued
"No you are mistaken it's the quality of these photographs that are offensive, Just look at them".
Luna slid the pictures in front of the mare with the dragon taboo as Twilight lectured "The F stop, focus and color saturation is all messed up, worse pictures ever".
Rarity gasped at the abominations before her "Sweetie Belle these are terrible! Didn't your Gabby Gum dabbling teach
you how to take a descent picture?"
"Gee Rares I was a writer duh!"
Luna smiled "Yes they are quite an offense but very cute, a thousand years ago such unions were not uncommon between dragons and my little ponies and the results produced the most beautiful dracony foals and eggs".
"Foals. . .Eggs?" Rarity swooned at the news her world turned black her ears picking up the last words "She's getting as bad as Spike".
A final thought carried on into darkness STUPID DRESS!
Spike awoke alone in the boutique drawing in his wings he sat up shaking out the cobwebs in his mind.
"Smooth move dopey dragon, Stupid dress".
Spike looked at a mirror on his way out his reflection showed a smear of red lipstick across his lips.
"What, when did this happen?"
He waddled out into the noon time sun "Spikey you old mare magnet, You still got it!"
What ever it is!?! Still that stupid dress wasn't half bad.
Author's Note
HAPPY NEW YEAR! LAST STORY OF 2017....
But not the last story like in forever!
Yeah! Check out this idiots other stories , Her Day , Can You Fetch Me and his other stupid stuff.
