Author's Note
Hello everbody and I hope you get as much fun out of this story as I had writing it!
The song used in this story belongs to Johny Cash and can be found on the American V: A Hundred Highways album
I do not own this song in any form and any changes to the original lyrics are intended.
After all that, hope you all have some fun reading!
Confession
The town of Ponyville lay almost completely silent as the sun rose up in the east. Despite some starting issues, the wedding of Cranky Donkey and Mathilda had been a smashing success. Mayor Mare performed a heart melting ceremony and the party afterwards lasted long into the morning hours. Ponies laughed and celebrated through many hours, though to be honest nopony could top the show of a giant sea serpent dancing off to Vinyl Scratch’s dubstep music.
However, not every pony was cheerful and happy that night. For Bon Bon, it turned out to be the longest one in her whole life. First, she had to confess to Lyra about her darkest secret in her past. Her life as a secret agent was way gone by now and she didn’t even think about it anymore, she’d almost forgotten her old name ‘Sweetie Drops’ along with it. Bon Bon had found a home in Ponyville, a new life as a candy maker and lots of friends all over town. Most important though, she’d found Lyra Heartstrings.
When she first had met Lyra, the unicorn was new in town and didn’t know anypony. Back then, Bon Bon knew her way around and even had a few ponies she’d call acquaintances, but her secretive past made it difficult for her to let down her guard towards anypony. Anypony except Lyra, as it turned out. From the moment they met, Bon Bon knew she liked Lyra probably more than was good for her. They spent the day together exploring town and by the time Pinkie Pie’s welcome party took place, they were already inseparable.
Lyra found a place to stay and visited Bon Bon daily in her candy shop from that day on. Only a couple of hours at first, but soon she rarely went anywhere else, unless Bon Bon was coming with her.
Bon Bon, with Lyra at her side, found herself enjoying trips to town more than ever before. They visited parks, cafés and parties together and made a lot of new friends, both mutual as well as on their own. Unsurprisingly, Lyra the lyrist from Canterlot quickly got in touch with Octavia Melody, local cellist and a professional who even performed at the royal palace of Princess Celestia from time to time. Bon Bon got closer to the other shop owners in Ponyville, such as Daisy from the neighbouring flower shop or Golden Harvest who had a permanent stand on Ponyville market.
Soon, whenever other ponies talked about them, they’d just say ‘Lyra and Bon Bon’, as if you couldn’t have one without the other. That got even more true when Lyra one day took Bon Bon’s offer from the first week and moved into a room on the second floor over the Sweet Shop. Now they literally saw each other all the time, from the time they got up in the morning until night when the last thing they did was say goodnight to each other.
Despite some rumours, they never really started ‘dating’ at some point. Living together for them felt only natural and without any haste or pressure, their relationship grew deeper. Smoothly and over time, they went from best friends into being a couple without either of them having to put it into words, really.
They just got each other, no flaw any of them showed ever turned out too much to burden their friendship and relationship in an unpleasant way. So what if Lyra liked human mythology and sometimes got a little obsessed with it? That only made her more unique and when others called her eccentric, Bon Bon only found her more lovable. Bon Bon wasn’t fooling herself, she knew she was crushing hard on Lyra occasionally, but Lyra never seemed to be bothered by it. If anything, she was flustered sometimes and showed some signs herself. Like with moving together, it didn’t seem necessary to put it into words though and Bon Bon was entirely happy on letting things develop in their own pace, like they always had for the two of them.
But then of course, it happened. Out of nowhere, Bon Bon past caught up on her in form of a bugbear. The creature had appeared hours before the wedding and even though Princess Twilight Sparkle and her friends took care of it, Bon Bon had panicked. She’d been forced to deal with the bugbear before and it simply was too much of a risk for her to be even near it. So she’d done the only logical thing that came to her mind. Run and hide until things were clear again.
Her plan might have worked if it wasn’t for the fact she’d been with Lyra when it happened. She couldn’t just run away from Lyra, she knew her friend would follow her and bring herself in danger. So she told her, as little as she could but enough so Lyra would hopefully understand.
Only she didn’t.
In hindsight, Bon Bon didn’t really give her much to go on with. How was Lyra supposed to react when she was told the pony she’d been best friends with for years now wasn’t who she told her she was. The pony she shared everything with, starting from a house to live in to some mannerisms and quirks she’d show to nopony else, never shared everything back with her. The pony she maybe loved didn’t even trust her enough to tell her real name.
Bon Bon didn’t have anything better to say than “It was all real”. Of course Lyra needed more than that. Just before the ceremony, Lyra had calmed down somewhat, but Bon Bon could see in her eyes she wasn’t nearly over it, despite the feeble attempt she made to joke about it. Bon Bon was well aware Lyra was trying to stay civil to not spoil the wedding for everypony. They sat together during the reception but Lyra kept throwing weird glances at her. When she talked with Golden Harvest how much she liked the wedding dress Mathilda was wearing or when she told Lily that magnolias were her favourite flowers, all Lyra did was stare at her. Bon Bon could almost hear the words in her head
“Do you really? Is that really true?”
At some point, Lyra just left. Bon Bon was looking the other way, then she suddenly stood alone in the crowd. She waited for a couple of minutes. She then wandered around for half an hour but Lyra was nowhere to be found. Bon Bon was on a party all by herself for the first time in she didn’t even know how many years, she realized. That hit her hard in her guts, way worse than what she felt when she heard about the bugbear.
She sat on the side of the dancefloor, alone. She watched the other ponies have fun but it never reached her. She couldn’t smile with something, somepony so important missing. She wasn’t just missing a friend, she was missing a part of herself. Somepony she’d been taking for granted for far too long, she was well aware of this now. She left the party the same minute. Her last hope was that Lyra might have gone home early and that they could talk about all that happened. That somehow, they could sort things out again like they always did.
For the first night in almost five years, Lyra didn’t come home.
Bon Bon couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t even calm down to get any rest. Her thoughts ran wild in her head and one horrible scenario chased the next. Lyra might have gotten hurt, abducted, lost in the Everfree Forest. Bon Bon just wanted to smack herself really hard at some point when her thoughts went more and more crazy. In the end, they all went full circle and back to the most realistic, but also the most terrible explanation of all.
Lyra had left. She wouldn’t be coming back either. Lyra had left her for good.
Bon Bon lay on the bed, wide awake but paralyzed by a fear that never had been more real to her than this night. She’d been abusing Lyra’s trust for years. She hoped with all her heart Lyra could forgive her, but she knew in her guts she couldn’t blame her if Lyra wouldn’t. So all she could do was blame herself.
By the time the sun started rising again, Bon Bon was filled up with guilt and worry and a spicy side dish of self-hatred to go along with it. There was a bile taste in her mouth and she knew not even the sweetest of her candies could drive it away.
She heard the front door and stirred on her bed. Then her eyes opened wide and she jumped on her hooves. She almost broke her neck as she stumbled down the stairs into the shop. She called out, her voice hoarse and raspy from a night without sleep
“Lyra! Thank Celestia you’re back! Lyra, I’m so sorry, please, I just want to…”
Bon Bon fell silent when she saw who had really entered her home.
Crystal Note stood in the middle of the shop and tried to find her way to the stairs in the dim light. The crystal unicorn had been at the wedding reception as well, although she’d arrived too late to be at the ceremony. The silvery-white mare had a tired but bright smile on her face, apparently she’d had a blast at the party. Her coat even sparkled and from the fact that she only returned now, the party must have been awesome even by Pinkie Pie standards.
Crystal Note finally noticed Bon Bon halfway up the stairs and gave her a sheepish smile. The crystal unicorn had no house of her own in Ponyville but she was a close friend to both Lyra and Bon Bon, so the spare room always was ready for her in case she needed a place to stay. She even had her own key to the front door.
Crystal Note looked up at Bon Bon and was about to comment on coming home so late, or rather early, but then she noticed something was off.
Bon Bon’s normally carefully arranged mane was dishevelled and messy, her eyes were bloodshot from the lack of sleep and swollen up from crying. She was staring past Crystal Note to the front door, but when she realized no other pony was coming she just broke down in the middle of the stairs and started sobbing.
In the blink of an eye, Crystal Note was by her side and helped her up again
“Bonnie, are you alright? What happened?”
Bon Bon looked back at the front door and blubbered out
“Did you see Lyra?”
“Lyra? No, I haven’t seen her since the reception. I didn’t see both of you so I thought you’d probably left early. Didn’t you go home together?”
Bon Bon howled as if in pain and sobbed against Crystal Note’s shoulder when the crystal unicorn hugged her. Carefully, Crystal Note led her friend back upstairs and helped her settle down on the bed again.
Bon Bon slumped down and buried her head in her pillow until the sobbing stopped. When she looked up again, Crystal Note just returned with two cups of tea. She scrunched her muzzle at the scent alone, Crystal Note always brewed her tea way too strong. But today the bitter and hot liquid helped her get calm again.
Crystal Note climbed next to her on the bed when Bon Bon cleared some space for her and silently sipped on her own drink. She didn’t say anything and Bon Bon knew her well enough. She wouldn’t say anything unless Bon Bon asked her for it, but she’d stay to support her friend, and to listen.
Bon Bon was just desperate enough to talk about everything and Crystal Note was probably the pony she’d trusted enough to keep a secret like hers. The crystal mare’s past was complicated and if there was a pony who would understand the necessity of keeping something a secret for many years, Crystal Note was definitely one of them.
“Lyra and I… we kind of had a fight earlier. Just before the wedding. We were talking and I had to… I didn’t mean to but then it just happened and… I know it was wrong to not tell her, but…”
“You kept a secret from her. A big one.”
Bon Bon stared at her friend but all she got was a look that said ‘Who do you think you’re talking to?’ accompanied by Crystal Note gently patting her unicorn horn that no other crystal pony had beside her.
Bon Bon sighed deeply and nodded
“Not just from her. From everypony really.”
“You don’t have to tell me.”
Bon Bon let out another sigh, relief this time but only barely. The only pony who could really make her feel relieved still hadn’t come home yet and maybe never would
“I had to tell her, but I couldn’t explain. I had to leave and I just saw her when the wedding started. She cracked a joke about it like she always does and I thought everything was going to be okay. But it wasn’t. I could tell it hurt her a lot. I know she doesn’t keep any secrets from me. And this secret, it’s so old I just forget about it at times, especially when I’m with Lyra.”
Bon Bon stopped and clenched her eyes shut. She only opened them when she noticed a familiar glow next to her. Crystal Note was using her magic and her guitar floated towards her through the open door. She shuffled a little on the bed to hold it in her hooves but she was still staying close to her friend.
Bon Bon felt reassured by Crystal Note’s presence. Most ponies by now would bombard her with questions or utter out promises to never tell anypony just to get her share her secret. Crystal Note remained silent and just started to pluck and strum the strings of her guitar. Bon Bon had seen this before, it didn’t mean that Crystal Note was distracted, far from the opposite. She just was so focused on Bon Bon and how she felt that she needed to express it in some way.
Bon Bon closed her eyes when the sound of the guitar grew into a melody. Crystal Note had a special talent when it came to music and the melody managed to pick up just how Bon Bon felt inside. It was sad, sad beyond words, and the way Crystal Note played it was almost uncertain or insecure. The melody was very soft and slow, unlike the anger Bon Bon felt at herself earlier. Right now, she only felt so sad it almost hurt her. There was something missing in the melody and something was missing inside her as well. Loss and sadness filled up all her thoughts, and Lyra. Bon Bon kept her eyes closed and only a few tears slipped out as she let herself get carried away by the music for a few more minutes.
When Bon Bon started to speak again, her voice was so soft, it almost didn’t make it over the sound of the guitar
“I never wanted to hurt her. Never, never, never ever. I didn’t tell her at first because, I told nopony. Later I said to myself I was protecting her, she’d be safer if she didn’t know. I wanted to tell her a few times, but I was scared how she’d react after all that time. And then, I simply didn’t. I didn’t even think about it. I had Lyra and everything was so much more fun, being with her all the time was the best. I forgot. Or rather I didn’t think about it anymore. Why should I think about something bad when I could just enjoy being with Lyra?”
Bon Bon kept talking like this for a while. Occasionally, a sniffle or a sob would interrupt her words, or she’d just listen to the sad melody Crystal Note was still playing.
Crystal Note didn’t say a thing, she listened. She stayed close to Bon Bon. She gently plucked on her guitar. Bon Bon didn’t protest. She was glad there was no pressure coming from Crystal Note after all the pressure she’d felt throughout the night. At some point, she felt her words just running out. She stayed silent for a few more minutes, hesitating to say the only thing that was left on her mind
“Crissy? What should I do if Lyra doesn’t come back?”
Crystal Note stayed silent and Bon Bon started sobbing again. She knew it was unfair to ask that question. How could her friend know what to do when she didn’t know herself?
The strumming of the guitar was the only sound for a while. Then Bon Bon felt Crystal Note shift on the bed beside her and when she looked up, Crystal Note’s eyes were closed deep in thought. She took a deep breath and Bon Bon feared whatever she had to say for a moment. Then, Crystal Note started to sing.
Her voice was as soft as Bon Bon’s had been before. It blended into the sad melody of her guitar and in her words Bon Bon could hear the tears that remained hidden behind her closed eyes
If you could read my mind, Love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
About a ghost in a wishing well
In a castle dark
Or a fortress strong,
With chains around my hooves
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as I’m the ghost that you can see…
Bon Bon listened and sighed silently. Like always when Crystal Note sung, the words hit the soft spot inside her. Today they didn’t have to reach too deep. She already felt like a ghost ever since Lyra had just left her alone at the wedding. Castle dark, fortress strong, chains around her hooves.
Crystal Note continued singing with her eyes closed as soon as she found the next words Bon Bon would need
If I could read your mind, Love
What a tale your thoughts would tell
Just like a paperback novel
The kind that bookstores sell
When you reach the part
Where the heartache comes
The hero would be me
For the first time, a small smile crept on Bon Bon’s lips. She’d need a hero now. And she wanted Lyra to be that hero. She could almost imagine her storming into the room to save her. But then the smile broke apart and was replaced by tears when she heard the next words of the song
But heroes often fail
You’ll never read that again
Because the ending’s just too hard to take.
Bon Bon cried and shook her head. Why did it have to be a bad ending? Why did this story need an ending at all?
Crystal Note kept singing, mercilessly. But with each word her voice filled more with tears and started trembling, even struggling to hold the tune
I’d walk away
Like a movie star
Who gets burned in a drama script
Then the next is you
A movie queen
To play the scene
Of bringing all the good things back in me
But for now, Love
Let’s be real.
I never thought I could act this way
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it
I don’t know
Where we went wrong
But the feeling’s gone
And I just can’t get it back…
At those last words, Crystal Note couldn’t hold back the sadness in her voice any longer and her singing ended in a sob. Bon Bon realized she didn’t like the ending any more than herself, but she just couldn’t make this right as much as she wished. The feeling was gone and nopony could get it back. Not even Lyra? Bon Bon shook her head. Lyra could make it right again.
After a short moment to regain control over her voice, Crystal Note continued her song, no longer fighting back the sadness but instead embracing it, making it part of her heart breaking song just like the melancholic strumming of her guitar
If you could read my mind, Love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
About a ghost in a wishing well
In a castle dark
Or a fortress strong
With chains around my hooves
But stories always end
Bon Bon shook her head again and mumbled out a weak “No…” into the music. It couldn’t just end.
If you read between the lines
You’ll know that I’m
Just trying to understand
The feelings that we lack…
“No.”
There were no feelings lacking. When she was with Lyra, everything felt right. Perfect. Complete. How could this stupid song try to tell her anything else?
I never thought I could feel this way
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it
I don’t know
Where we went wrong
But the feeling’s gone
And I just can’t get it back…
“NO!”
Bon Bon jumped on her hooves and glared at Crystal Note who had almost dropped the guitar in surprise
“That’s an awful song, the worst I’ve ever heard. How dare you even sing a sad song when you think about Lyra?”
Crystal Note put down the instrument and faced Bon Bon’s angry glare with wide open eyes
“The feeling is NOT gone, you hear me? I’m not going to lose it! And I’m not going to lose Lyra. Not over a stupid thing that happened so long ago it doesn’t even matter anymore.”
Bon Bon jumped out of her bed and headed to the door, but Crystal Note stepped in the way. Bon Bon threw another glare at her, but she wasn’t really angry at Crystal Note. She was angry at herself for not seeing this sooner
“I messed up and now I’m going to fix it. I’ll make Lyra understand how much I messed up and that I’m sorry. If I have to track her down and tie her up so she’ll listen to me, fine, I’ll do it! She’s too important to not try everything I can.”
All Crystal Note could do was smile.
“And here I thought I was the weird one is this relationship.”
Both Bon Bon’s and Crystal Note’s head snapped towards the door where Lyra stood. She looked just as bad as Bon Bon, with her eyes red and swollen and fresh trails of tears on her face. Her mane hung down in messy strands, small twigs and leaves stuck of it and made them guess she probably spent the whole night outside.
Lyra stared at Bon Bon with her mouth wide open, but she couldn’t speak a word. Her attention turned to Crystal Note and she glared.
The crystal unicorn didn’t need any further hints. She threw a last smile to Bon Bon who barely noticed it since all her focus was on Lyra. Then Crystal Note slipped past Lyra out of the room, but turned around to give her friend an affectionate nudge that pushed her towards Bon Bon.
Bon Bon and Lyra stared silently at each other until they heard the front door open and close again. Bon Bon took a deep breath and hoped she’d find the right words, but Lyra beat her to it by a mere second
“I’m sorry Bonnie.”
Bon Bon let out the breath in a sharp gasp and her eyes widened in surprise. Lyra took that as a clue to go on
“It wasn’t fair of me to just leave. And I shouldn’t have run away from you either. It’s just all of a sudden and so much to take in at once. I needed time to think about it. And I did.”
Bon Bon was still frozen in surprise when Lyra closed the distance and wrapped her hooves around her in a tight hug. She clung back on her and felt Lyra’s head nuzzle into the crook of her neck. She felt the wetness of tears on Lyra’s cheeks so she gently rested her head on top of hers to hold her even closer. It was at this point when Lyra managed to talk again
“I don’t care if you’re Bon Bon or Sweetie Drops or somepony completely different. You can change your name every two weeks for all I care, as long as I can be with you. If there are secrets in your past you can’t tell me about… well, I don’t like it but fine! Just, don’t ever climb out of a window without me again!”
Bon Bon’s grip got even tighter and a she felt tears in her own eyes again, for completely different reasons this time. She held Lyra close for a minute without saying anything. Lyra kept her muzzle buried into her shoulder, but when she got no response she started fidgeting a little.
Bon Bon giggled softly and pulled back so she could meet Lyra’s worried expression with a smile of her own
“I’m Bon Bon.”
Lyra blinked confused and Bon Bon just giggled again
“I’m Bon Bon! I never cared much about my name, but Bon Bon is who I want to be. Bon Bon has so many friends in Ponyville and she has her own shop. But most important, Bon Bon met Lyra, she’s best friends with Lyra, she gets to see Lyra all day every day. So I love being Bon Bon as much as I love Lyra.”
Both of them blushed at the sudden outburst and confession, but they both leaned in close to nuzzle the other at the same time. Bon Bon reached out for a hug and this time it was Lyra who held Bon Bon close when she nuzzled in. They stayed like that for a few minutes, a few happy tears still sneaking their way out. Lyra had lost all of the tension she carried by now and held her marefriend with a genuine smile, but Bon Bon was the one who started to fidget a little this time
“If Sweetie Drops can’t be with you, I don’t want to become her ever again.”
Lyra just smiled and gently nuzzled Bon Bon’s cheek
“If you had to be Sweetie Drops so you could become Bon Bon today, I love her as much as I love Bon Bon.”
Bon Bon gasped again but one glace into Lyra’s eyes told her she was serious about it. A last wave of relief flushed into her face and with the biggest smile yet, she clung on Lyra once more and pressed her cheek against hers.
With a soft sigh and some reluctance, Bon Bon was the one who broke the hug once more. She hopped on the bed and as she always did, Lyra climbed in next to her. Sensing Bon Bon’s nervousness, Lyra rested her head on top of her and gently nuzzled the pink and blue mane
“You don’t have to tell me anything. I love you for who you are, not for who you were some time ago.”
“No. I have to. I want to. I don’t want anything to ever stand between us again.”
She looked deep into Lyra’s golden eyes
“No more secrets. No more hiding.”
Lyra held her gaze without any hesitation and nodded once.
Bon Bon took a deep breath and started talking.
