Author's Note

This chapter contains macro/micro and dirty hooves.

A Visit to the Spa

Celestia and Luna stepped into the next room and immediately stopped, gaping.

The room was huge, a vast cavernous space, larger than any normal room should be. The far walls were hardly visible. The floor was covered with immense flagstones, and large, inscrutable machinery—all metal columns and massive levers—rose up before them. The space was so huge that clouds of fog hovered within it, though it was strangely warm.

As they looked around and took in the space they found themselves in, the perspective suddenly shifted.

The room was not large, they were small. The huge "machinery" was a series of massage chairs with metal bases. The flagstones were actually tiles, though each was larger than Celestia was tall. And the fog was not fog at all, it was steam. They were inside a spa.

There was a deep, creaking sound behind them, and the pair spun around to see a gigantic door swinging open. Booming hoofsteps sounded and a massive pony stepped inside. She was a mare, with a light yellow coat and a green mane and tail. From their angle on the floor Luna and Celestia couldn't make out her cutie mark. Also, they were too busy preserving their skins, they had to dodge aside to avoid the huge hooves stepping on them. Behind the pony the door began to swing shut again.

"Quick! Let us escape!" cried Luna. She took wing and arrowed through the air towards the slowly closing door. Celestia followed right on her tail, though she suspected it was futile.

Indeed, instead of darting out the door, Luna bounced back suddenly, tumbling to the floor. There was a forcefield over the door.

"Horseapples," cursed Luna.

"You won't be escaping so easily," said Discord's mocking voice. "You must complete your task here before moving on."

Celestia snorted. "More sexual depravity?"

"Well, that all depends on what you're into, Sunbutt. But many ponies do find hooves to be arousing. Don't worry, I won't judge." That was followed by a cascade of maniacal laughter.

"Hooves?" Celestia looked around, and saw that the pony who'd walked in earlier was now laying down in a chair, her hind hooves propped up on a little stool, ready to receive a hooficure. "Ah." Celestia flapped her wings, taking to the air again to get a better look at the situation. From above she could see that a little tray of various tools sat next to the hooficure chair. The tools were all small, though, scaled to Celestia rather than to the "customer". That was going to make things more difficult. Still, hopefully the task wouldn't be too bad.

She glided down to inspect the hooves themselves and see exactly what needed to be done.

As she landed on the stool, next to a hoof even taller than she was, she was hit by a strong scent. The pony apparently worked on a farm, for her hooves reeked. There was the cheesy scent of ordinary dirty feet, but there was also a strong whiff of manure, and dark blotches of dirt—or worse—stained the outside of the hooves and was packed inside the hoof wall.

Luna landed beside Celestia. "I suppose I shall take the right, and you the left?" she said.

Celestia nodded. She reached out with her magic, but found it didn't work. No matter how she tried to lift the hoof pick it remained stubbornly in place on the tray. Celestia sighed and flew over to the tray, taking the pick up in her mouth. Apparently she would have to do this the hard way.

There was a second pick for Luna, and the pair set to work. The hoof picks were simple things, handles for gripping with a metal end not entirely unlike a broad screwdriver, but with a curved bend that put the tip at the right angle to dig into the dirt caked within the hoof. Given the small size of the pick and the huge size of the hoof, though, it was going to take a while.

Chunks of caked on dirt were slowly carved out by the two alicorns. The giant pony didn't even twitch as they worked on her hooves, she seemed to have fallen asleep, which certainly made things easier. The smell only got worse as they dug into the mess. The sole of her hoof was completely covered in a mixture of dirt, manure, and bits of straw and even small pebbles, which were large enough compared to the two tiny alicorns to take some work digging out.

Dust and bits of dirt settled on them as they worked, sticking to their sweaty coats in a terrible mess. Dust even got into their mouths, tasting every bit as foul as it smelled. Still they continued, scraping the chunks away until finally, after what seemed like an eternity, both hooves were free of caked on dirt.

They still weren't exactly what one could call "clean", though. Celestia dropped the hoof pick and flew up to pick up the next tool, a stiff wire brush.

Luna spat a mouthful of dirt and muttered a curse under her breath, then did the same. The wire brushes cleaned out the residue that the hoof picks hadn't been able to pry loose. They scoured the pony's hoof walls aggressively. When that was done they more gently cleaned each sole and sensitive frog of the hoof.

Still, Celestia found herself wrinkling her nose at the smell. It didn't help that she was muzzle-deep in the mess, since she had to hold the brush in her teeth to get a good enough grip on it.

She worked faster, once again just wanting to get this over with. Finally she was done cleaning the dirt from the hoof. Luna finished soon after her. A hint of manure lingered, but now the scent was mostly the slightly cheesy funk natural to all feet. It was still not exactly pleasant, but it was a little bit better. Celestia dropped the wire brush next to the hoof pick and eagerly soared up to grab a loofah and a bottle of soap. It was finally time to actually clean everything, thank goodness. She squirted soap liberally around, reveling in the fresh citrus scent. Sweet sun above, this was so much better than what she'd been smelling a moment ago.

Luna followed her example and was soon busily scrubbing down the other hoof. She leaned into the hoof, scrubbing it thoroughly. Happily the loofahs had a loop for easy hoof gripping, so they didn't have to get soap suds up their noses, which would definitely have resulted from trying to hold them in their mouths.

A distant, deep sound made both alicorns pause, but it was only the pony coming half awake and letting out a sound of pleasure at the feeling of getting her hooves scrubbed. It was ridiculous, but Celestia felt a little glow of satisfaction. She hadn't wanted to do this, but it was bizarrely nice to know that she was doing a good job.

Finally both hooves were clean and it was time for the next step. Celestia once again flew up to the tray full of tools and picked up the hoof file. It was a very large hoof file compared to her, but it was still going to take a while to get the job done. And Celestia wasn't sure how to reach the top of the hoof, since it was taller than she. Not by that much, she'd been able to stretch and reach all of it while cleaning, but filing required just the right angle, and she was pretty sure she couldn't get that while standing in front of the hoof.

She put that problem aside for the time being and began filing the sides of the giant hoof, working steadily, trying to keep the angle even.

Luna was muttering curses around the handle of her file as she worked. But she was the one who came up with the solution to the problem of height, when it was time to do the upper portion she simply flew up and perched atop the hoof itself, attacking the uneven edge from above.

Filing was finicky, it took almost as long as everything else put together had to get a smooth, even edge. The two mares were sweat-soaked and sore from holding the files at odd angles by the time both hooves were finally done. And they still weren't finished with their task. The tray also held several buckets of clear hoof polish. Fortunately they weren't the little jars that Celestia or Luna might use on themselves, they were huge, with massive paint brushes as well, otherwise there wouldn't have been anywhere near enough to cover the giant pony's hooves.

Also fortunately, being small made keeping the paint job neat and tidy much easier. Neither Celestia nor Luna were expert hooficurists. They both had gotten many, but given few. But it was easy enough to stay within the lines, as it were, given that the lines were so massive.

Unfortunately the hoof polish gave off thick, noxious fumes, and both alicorns had to have their faces right in it so that they could work. Hooficurists were usually unicorns and used magic, or used a longer brush. But with the size of the job they had to do and the amount of polish involved, no length of brush would be enough to keep them from breathing fumes as they worked.

Celestia was practically staggering, and Luna's muttered curses had become slurred and incoherent by the time they finally dropped their brushes back into the buckets and stepped back, finished at last.

They stood on the footstool, looking at the shining hooves above them, and caught their breath. Eventually, though, both started looking around. A door should be opening for them, shouldn't it? They had completed their task, hadn't they?

"Aren't we finished? Is there something else we should do?" asked Celestia, as her head cleared. She tossed her mane and frowned, the fake cum from before had dried in it, so some of the strands were stiff and matted, refusing the flow as they should. Between that and the dust stuck to her sweat-soaked coat, she looked as if she could desperately use a day at the spa herself.

"We must be, there aren't any other tools for us to use. And what else does a hooficure entail? Surely Discord does not expect us to paint 'hoof art' on her?"

"I have two words for you, princesses," came Discord's voice. "Ponies have four hooves."

"Oh buck you!" shouted Luna, her teeth bared in sudden anger.

"That's four words," observed Celestia mildly, "not two."

"And there are four hooves, not two."

"Faust-bucking sun and stars, we have to do that all again?" said Luna.

"Have fun!" was Discord's only reply.

Luna groaned dramatically and sank down to the ground. Celestia let out a deep sigh, though she didn't put a hoof to her face this time, her hooves were filthy. Instead she simply spread her wings and flew back to the tray of tools. Time to go get the hoof pick and start on the slumbering spa pony's front hooves.

The hooves were resting on a convenient armrest, so at least they wouldn't be hard to reach. She landed in front of one with the hoof pick, steeled herself, and set to work once more.

Some time later she looked over to see that Luna had quietly begun on the remaining hoof.

They worked in silence, once again going through the process of clearing caked on filth with the hoof pick, brushing the remnants away with the wire brush, and then soaping and scrubbing. Then, of course, they had to file them smooth and apply another bucket of nail polish.

When the repeated task was done, Luna let herself slide off of the armrest and topple to the ground, where she lay in a heap. Celestia chuckled and glided down to land with more dignity. The giant pony stirred, getting to her hooves. She walked to the door, her booming hoofsteps echoing in the vast room, then opened it and went out.

This time, though, it didn't swing shut behind her. Instead it stood open, a vast portal into the unknown beyond.

"Come Luna, let us proceed."

"Nay. I have expired. I am deceased. I have given up the ghost. I am truly a former princess. Let me lie here in peace."

Celestia chuckled. "I know what you mean. But Twilight and her friends are depending on us. Come on."

Luna sighed, but heaved herself to her hooves and followed Celestia across the massively tiled floor. Together they once again stepped through the door into the unknown.