Getting Help

by Jay David

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Moonlight Raven, Slice of Life
Length: 1716

After the Tantabus incident, Luna goes to seek help regarding her feelings of guilt

With the defeat of the Tantabus, many ponies assumed that Luna had finally put her past troubles behind her. But, such things are not always so easy, and so the Princess of the night, in secret, goes to seek help regarding these feelings she’s spent so long struggling with.

Published 2018-05-10 04:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-10 04:30:06 UTC

Getting Help

She looked out at her office, making sure that everything was in order for everypony who was going to be coming in here today. This place was specifically crafted to put ponies at ease as they came to her with their various problems, and it practically oozed an air of calm and relaxation, with the only thing that disturbed that long silence being the regular ticks and tocks of the clock upon the wall. The Doctor adjusted her glasses, satisfied that, whatever patients she was going to get here today, they would be made to feel welcome and peaceful. This was not a place to judge them, this was a place to help them. But, for the moment at least, there was nopony here for her to be working with, and as such, the Doctor took hold of her piping hot cup of tea, raising it to her lips and readying herself for that first and enjoyable sip. But, as she did this, there was a gentle knocking upon her door, prompting her to look up.

"Come in."

Slowly, that door opened, and the head of her secretary, another mare, poked in.

"I'm sorry Doctor, but we have somepony here who would like to speak with you."

The Doctor nodded.

"Of course. Send her in."

Nodding back, the secretary stepped aside, and in so doing, she revealed that there was yet another mare there behind her. A unicorn with a dark mane and a somewhat passive look about her. Setting her tea-cup to the side for the time being, the Doctor put on a warm smile.

"Welcome, Miss...?"

Looking to her, the new mare answered.

"Moonlight. Moonlight Raven."

The Doctor's smile widened.

"Forgive me, but I don't recall seeing your name on my list of patients for the day."

Steeping further into the office, Moonlight responded to that.

"Yes...this was...kind of a late choice on my part."

Again, the Doctor nodded, and so gestured to the chair n the other side of her desk. Getting the meaning, Moonlight walked over to it, and as she did so, the Doctor gestured to her secretary, who took it as permission to leave. As Moonlight got comfortable, she glanced over her shoulder, seeing the secretary finally close that door, at which point the Doctor spoke yet again.

"Don't worry about arriving unannounced, Miss. My door is always open. Now then..."

Taking her cup back into her hooves, the Doctor leaned back into her chair slightly.

"...what can I do for you?"

Moonlight appeared to hesitate, then looked to the Doctor.

"...What gets said in his room...stays in this room, correct?"

The Doctor nodded, confirming that.

"Complete confidence."

Moonlight paused, and then, she let out a long sigh, turning to face the Doctor fully.

"In that case...a confession."

The Doctor was, at first, confused by that tone, but then, to her immense shock, she discovered that her patient for the day was actually starting to glow. There was a bright light shining around her, and as that light eventually died down, there was no longer a unicorn sitting in that chair, but an alicorn. Specifically, it was Princess Luna, who looked as composed and regal as a Princess was always imagined to be. As for the Doctor, she simply blinked a couple of times before finally responding to this.

"Ah...I see."

Luna sighed again.

"Forgive the deception, Doctor...but for the time being I would prefer that my time here be unknown to the wider public. I don’t think it would be considered good news for a Princess to be seen...coming here."

Shaking herself out of her shocked state, the Doctor once more assumed her calm and welcoming tone.

"Princess, I assure you, if you wish for your visit to be anonymous...I have every intention of respecting that choice."

Luna nodded, a small smile on her face to show her appreciation for that. But then, the time came for the Doctor to get down to business.

"Now then...what problems can I help you with?"

To that, a degree of shame came to Luna's expression, and she got up and out of her chair. The Doctor watched as she began to pace up and down in the office, prompting her to speak up.

"We go at your pace here, Princess. Whatever it is that's bothering you...only speak about it when you're ready."

Again, Luna looked to her with appreciation, and it was that assurance that finally caused her to stop pacing and finally speak.

"Some time ago...there was...an incident. A magical creature known as the Tantabus escaped my custody in the dream realm, and began to cause a great deal of danger for other ponies, including several of my closest friends."

The Doctor's eyes widened.

"Oh my! I hope you were able to resolve the situation?"

Luna nodded.

"We were..."

Shame returned to her.

"...but not before...I had to confess that...it was I who created the Tantabus in the first place."

The Doctor was taken aback by this.

"You?"

Again, Luna nodded, and the Doctor spoke once more.

"But...why would you do such a thing?"

Luna paused here. She knew she was going to be given all the time she needed to get her thoughts in order, but even so, that level of space was not making this confession of hers any easier. But, there eventually came a time when she was able to speak what was on her mind.

"I created it...for the purpose of giving me horrific nightmares to endure...as a means of punishing myself for my deeds as Nightmare Moon."

A silence followed, and Luna looked to the Doctor, seeing the utterly horrified look upon her face. Another bout of shame came to her, and she looked away, just at the point where the Doctor finally broke the silence.

"You...you were torturing yourself?"

A slow nod came to Luna, and as she remained quiet, the Doctor, who again adjusted her spectacles, spoke up.

"Princess...with all due respect...I hope you realise just how serious the issue of self-harm is?"

A frown came to the older mare at that.

"Believe me...I do. And what's worse...I got my friends and other innocents involved in it. They too were harmed because of this need I had for punishment."

A long sigh escaped her.

"When that happened...it was a wake-up call for myself. My decision to inflict that pain upon myself nearly led to great catastrophe. If my friends had not been there..."

Another moment of quiet, and a long one at that, before any more words came from her.

"At the time, the Tantabus issue was resolved. The creature was once more brought down to be part of myself. It was no longer out there to be a threat to others. The danger passed, and yet..."

Here, she struggled, but the Doctor already knew the answer.

"...The feelings you have that made you want to do it...are still there?"

Slowly, Luna looked over to her, giving a very slight nod in confirmation. In response to this, the Doctor glanced down to her tea, putting her thoughts into order before at last addressing her patient.

"Princess...Luna...I have had many such cases of ponies coming to me with feelings of hate towards themselves. There have been those who have harmed themselves...and there have been those who never came to me at all, despite having those same feelings."

A worried look came to her.

"For these latter individuals...being unable to speak to somepony about their problems led to...unhappy ends."

Luna nodded, sadness coming to her eyes as she listened to this. But, she remained silent as the Doctor continued.

"You say the issue of the Tantabus was resolved...but do your friends believe that the problems that led to you creating it...have also been put to rest?"

Slowly, Luna looked away, and then gave a short nod.

"Yes...I told them the matter was settled...that their words helped me to overcome that which ailed me. And at the time, perhaps I spoke truly, as it did help me with the Tantabus. But...in the days since..."

The Doctor nodded.

"They had their hearts in the right place, I've no doubt...but kind words and assurances of support are not a solution to what you have. Not a permanent one at least. That road is long, and it will be difficult."

Taking a few steps towards the other mare, Luna once more got back into her chair.

"I know that. There are times when I close my eyes...and the feelings of hate for myself are there, just as strong and intoxicating as they have been since my return to Equestria. And given how dangerous those feelings became for me...I knew I could no longer simply...do this on my own."

A small smile crept onto the face of the Doctor, and she reached forward, gently pacing her hoof upon Luna's.

"There's an old saying...admitting to the problem is the first step on the road to being able to cope with it."

Luna too smiled, but to a far smaller degree.

"Thank you, Doctor. I'm...I'm willing to accept any help you can give me."

However, the Doctor’s expression soon became a touch more serious.

“I’m happy that you’re willing to accept my help, Princess...but as devoted as I am to your anonymity here, I believe it will be best for you to include your family and friends, and to let them know that these problems still exist for you. When you’re ready to do so, of course.”

Luna winced at that, but let out a sigh soon after.

“I...I know. And I do truly intend to let them in...eventually. But for now...”

The Doctor resumed her smile.

“Yes...for now...you’ll try to make the first steps.”

Luna smiled back, acknowledging that this was indeed the case, and the Doctor sat upright in her chair, taking hold of a nearby pad of paper and beginning to write some notes upon it. She then glanced back to Luna, and spoke in a warm, yet also professional-sounding way.

"So then, Luna...tell me when these feelings of yours began."

Taking a deep breath, Luna allowed herself a few moments of quiet before finally starting to answer.

"Well...I think it began shortly after my defeat as Nightmare Moon...when my sister first brought me back to Canterlot..."