The Two Lords Of Time

Side Story - Drunken Haze

Author: For now, I am called Time Turner. In this story, he doesn't exist.

The Doctor and his new also Time Lord companion, Time Turner, were sitting in the TARDIS drinking a cup of tea, where Time Turner had a mug of cider.

"You know, you really shouldn't drink alcohol so much. It damages your kidneys. Do humans have that?"

"Yeah, the-"

"Hey, other Doctor!" Dash was standing in the TARDIS doorway.

"Yeah, Dash?"

"Do you want to come and look around Cloudsdale with me?"

"Sure, I can do that." (This is where it all started. -TL)

"Race you to the Weather Factory!" Dash then... well... dashed off into the distance, towards Cloudsdale.

Time's horn lit up with a blue glow, and within seconds he was in front of the Weather Factory, with Dash only just landing beside him.

"Hey, you used magic! You cheated!"

"Never said I couldn't."

"Let's just get on with the tour, shall we?"

"Allons-y!" (Best word ever. -2 TLs)

The two trotted inside the Weather Factory, where pegasi were examining snowflakes and pouring water into huge tube things.

"This is where they make the snow and rain."

"Cool. What's next?"

"Well, over here they make the rainbows."

In front of them were pegasi all mixing up rainbows all alike.

"I wonder what they taste like..." Time dipped a hoof into the rainbow and licked it. "Tastes good. Rainbows are good."

They messed around a bit for a few more hours, viewing the sights.

"Hey, it's getting pretty late. Would you like to go get a few drinks at the bar?"

"I could go for a drink."

"Ok, let's go."

Dash and Time flew off towards the bar together.

"Here we are."

"Hey, blue dude!" A familiar voice shouted from behind them.

"Hey, Tucker." Dash said.

"We're just going to get a few drinks. Wanna come?"

"Sure!"

The three walked inside and sat on the bar stools.

"What'll it be?" the bartender asked.

"Two ciders." Time said.

"We'll just take one, thanks." Dash said. "Jeez, seems like you want to wake up feeling bad."

"Nah, I'm just a heavy drinker."

"Here are your drinks."

"Thank you." Time chugged down both mugs in ten seconds flat. "ANOTHER!" he yelled. "Make that three."

"Jesus Christ dude. Slow down." Tucker said.

"Says the lord of everything sexual." said Time, chugging down his next two drinks, and gave the other two to Dash and Tucker.

"Fuck you dude." Tucker chugged down his drinks, and in a second he was as drunk as... well... something that's really drunk.

Dash did the same too. "You guys wanna come back to my place?"

"FUCK YEAH!" yelled Time, teleporting to Dash's place, bringing the other two with him.

"Let's go up to my room." Dash said. "Not you, Tucker."

"Fuhhhhkk..."

Author: I cut this out because I want it to be STRICTLY Teen. No TiDash! (As much as I would want it)

Time: 10:00
Location: Dash's Bedroom
State of Mind: Fucked up

"Ugh... what happened last night? I'm in Dash's room... well that spells good news." Time flew out of the room, mane frizzled. "Hey, Tucker? You there?"

"Yeah, wha- whoa."

"What?"

"Your hair dude, it's like World War Two."

"Ugh, yeah, I have no idea what happened last night."

"Where'd you wake up?"

"Dash's r-"

"You both got drunk and you fucked her. I did that a billion times."

"Nice spotting. Where is she?"

"Working, clearing the sky."

"I'm fucking hungry." Time made a stack of pancakes appear in front of him.

"Dibs."

"What? You can't do that!"

"Really? Dibs. See? I did it again."

"Fine, take the fucking pancakes. Wait a minute..."

"What?"

"I swear I saw a vidcam in her room..." Time ran up to Dash's room, where he found a web cam hooked up to a laptop, and on it was a video from last night.

"Nice, you made a porn."

"Fuck you. I'm going out. Go jerk off to it or whatever the hell you do in your spare time." Time flew off towards the library.

"It gets lonely here..."

Time saw Dash through the window, so he knocked on the door. "Hello? Is anybody in?"

"Hello, Time." said the familiar lavender pony.

"Hello, Twilight. Is Dash around?"

"Yeah, she's in here. You're lucky about what you did last night."

"How am I lucky?"

"You used protection, even when you were blind drunk."

"Mhm. Three Time Lords is enough."

"Oh yeah, you, Doctor, and Master."

"Can I come in now?"

"Sure. Hey Dash, Time is here."

"Sup Dash."

"Hey Time. First question: did you let Tucker see the video?"

"Shit. By now he's probably jerking off to it."

"Of course he is."

"Hey, what's this about Tucker?" Church said, walking in.

"He'll explain."

"Morning everyone." Spike said, walking in. "What's Time doing here?"

"If Time wasn't here there wouldn't be us."

"I mean you."

"Ah, well, let's just say me and Dash plus five mugs of cider equals... something."

Spike was trying to hold back laughing. "You... and Dash? Seriously?"

"Spike!"

"What? It's kinda funny."

"Well, we better get going. Allons-y!" Time and Dash teleported to Dash's room, where Tucker was greeted with a Time Lord in the face. "Cawkblawked."

"Never step in between a man's alone time!"