Noteworthy entered the restaurant with a twinge of excitement. This would mark his second time eating here. Normally, he would never bother wasting his money eating out like this, blaming it on the earth pony tradition of home cooked meals. However, in this case, he came not for the cuisine or the décor, but for the company. Company which did not share his traditions despite sharing his race. He looked over to the many occupied tables, but didn't see her waiting.
Suddenly, while Noteworthy's eyes were occupied, something warm touched the back of his neck, and he yelped in surprise.
The source of the warmth pulled away, giggling. "That never gets old," she said.
Noteworthy turned to face his marefriend of two months, Cipher Splash. She wore an impish smile, which proved infectious.
Leaning in, he quickly returned her kiss. "You know I don't like being startled like that," he said, grinning.
Cipher wrapped a peach-colored hoof around his back. "Yes, but I'm also very aware that you like seeing me happy."
Noteworthy returned the casual embrace. "Who wouldn't want to keep their special somepony happy?"
"Somepony way more of a jerk than you? Or a masochist?"
Noteworthy snorted. "Yeah, ok."
Cipher giggled again.
With that out of her system, Noteworthy hailed the hostess, who then escorted them to their table for two. He waited for Cipher to sit down before doing so himself. Cipher ran a hoof through her curly, light blue mane, completely ignoring everything on the table to stare at him.
"Getting the daily special again?" he asked.
"Of course," she confirmed, nodding.
Noteworthy picked up his menu. "Well, I might be a bit. There are just so many choices here, it's a tad daunting."
"Says you. I say it's an easy decision."
Cipher waited patiently with her chin propped up on her hooves as he read, eventually settling on a pasta dish. "So," he began, "what did you do today?"
"Oh, nothing much. Same old, same old," she said. Then, she dramatically fluttered her eyelashes. "Mostly just looking forward to this evening."
That was pretty much what she always said whenever he asked her about her day. Never mind that he had little idea what her version of a usual day entailed. What he told her was "Me too."
"Obviously," Cipher said, trying her best to look innocent. "I'm the highlight of your current existence."
Noteworthy grinned and rolled his eyes.
"For real though, are you still having trouble with the jazz piece you're writing?" she asked.
"A little, yeah. I've got the last verse and all the instrumentals finished, but something about the chorus is still bugging me."
Cipher reached a hoof across to table to touch his. "You'll figure it out eventually. And even if you can't, it's for a theatre production, not an album, so critics won't be able to mercilessly pick the song apart as easily."
Noteworthy looked down at their hooves, then back up at Cipher. "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or actually trying to reassure me."
Cipher returned his gaze. They kept staring at eachother for a few seconds trying to keep straight faces before spontaneously bursting into laughter.
As their bout of mutual snickering petered off, the waiter brought them their food. In an amusing coincidence, Cipher's plate was nearly identical to Noteworthy's, but with a few seasonal ingredient changes.
Noteworthy continued to make small talk and flirt with Cipher as they ate. He'd spent enough time with her to recognize all her subtle mannerisms, like the uncommon grace with which she held her fork or the way she'd wiggle her tail ever so slightly whenever she was happy. Each facet of Cipher Splash was as captivating as the last.
When their plates had been cleaned and the bill was paid, Noteworthy trotted out of the restaurant and into the chilly winter air with Cipher by his side. But when Cipher turned to follow their usual route, Noteworthy hesitated. It was only for an instant, but she noticed.
"What's wrong?" she asked, mildly confused.
He took a deep breath. "Actually... I was hoping maybe we could go to your place tonight."
A brief flash of something appeared in her eyes before being replaced by a sly smile. "We could, but your bed is much more accommodating than my tiny old one would be," she said, running her hoof across his cheek.
He sighed internally. "Well, it's hard to disagree with that," he said.
* * *
Noteworthy awoke covered in a thin sheen of sweat, the warmth of his blankets accompanied by the warmth of the body lying next to him.
"Morning, sleepy colt," said Cipher.
Blinking the remains of sleep out of his eyes, Noteworthy twisted around to nuzzle her. "Morning, sweetie."
Cipher slid the covers off of herself, rolling onto her stomach. "You sure slept like a log. Did I wear you out last night?"
"Ha. It was amazing. You always are," he said before pulling himself up to kiss her.
A light blush colored her cheeks in the dim light. "Flatterer."
"It's true, though," Noteworthy insisted.
She nodded. "Yep, totally a flatterer."
Cipher then hopped out of bed, and Noteworthy followed. Cipher set about brushing her mane and tail as he went into the kitchen to cook a pair of omelets for breakfast. She emerged fully presentable just as he finished making them. However, she didn't sit down when he did.
"Those do smell really good," she said. "But it's kinda late, and I need to go."
"Really?" Given he usually woke up earlier, Noteworthy should have expected this to happen, but it still stung a bit.
"Really," she replied, glancing at the rays of light coming through the window.
He stood and stepped forward. "Stay a bit longer? For me?"
Cipher's expression grew melancholy. "I wish I could, but I'm a busy mare. If we spent every day together, what we have wouldn't be as special. Too much of a good thing, you know?"
"I guess so."
She then leaned in for a hug. "See you this weekend, cutie."
He didn't want to let go, but did anyway. "Looking forward to it."
Cipher smiled, and Noteworthy watched as she quietly trotted out. His eyes were drawn past Cipher's tail to her impossible, secret cutie mark again. And when the door shut behind her, he kept staring at the door for a short while before pulling his gaze away.
Sighing, Noteworthy walked back into the kitchen to eat, the seat across from him conspicuously empty. I'm not sure my heart can take much more of this, he realized. Why won't she open up to me?
His body fed itself on automatic, its owner lost in thought. Nothing's changing. It's like every date we've had after the fourth has just been a repeat of that same fourth date. Cipher's every bit as alluring as when we met, and she still seems to like me a lot, but...
Noteworthy stabbed at his plate again only to find that there wasn't anything left on it. His frown deepened. I want to take our relationship further. I can't do that until she lets me completely into her life, like I've done for her. For celestia's sake, I know more personal facts about Chancellor Puddinghead.
After taking the dishes over to the sink and storing the uneaten omelet in the fridge for later, Noteworthy still couldn't get his mind off of Cipher. He really didn't want to have to break up with her if he could help it: she was the best mare he had ever been with, plain and simple. But if she kept deflecting the question every time he so much as asked what her profession was, let alone everything else, he might break himself. What they had just wasn't common or sustainable.
He groaned. "I need to go clear my head."
Noteworthy didn't bother putting on any warm clothes before stepping out into the morning air. Now jogging at a brisk pace, he didn't really have a destination in mind. Rather, feeling the cold caress of the day on the outside and the warm burn from within his muscles was his goal. And that did a good job of drawing his attention almost completely away from his current predicament. Almost.
Only a scarce few ponies were out and about, as the season tended to corral them indoors. However, Noteworthy spied a trio of stallions making their way over to a building he rarely paid any mind: the bowling alley. He couldn't remember the last time he'd gone bowling.
He shrugged. "Oh, why not."
Once inside, Noteworthy took in the scene before him. Heavy colored balls of... whatever rumbled down lanes of wood polished to a mirror shine. Ponies of all shapes and sizes walked back and forth in special shoes from said lanes to clusters of purple couches. Thanks to the magic display screens, they didn't need to keep track of their scores, and could instead talk to their friends or family between throws.
Ready to begin, Noteworthy approached the clerk at the large desk in the corner. "Morning, sir. I'd like to play."
The aged stallion smiled. "Sure, as long as you don't mind sharing a lane with somepony new."
Noteworthy blinked, then checked the building again. Sure enough, all the lanes were occupied by at least one pony. "That's fine."
"Great, what shoe size are ya?"
Noteworthy told him, and placed his bits on the counter as he was handed two pairs of shoes. The special soles probably helped save the floors from damage as well as aiding ponies in holding the balls. Great, this is already working, he thought.
After donning his loaned hoofwear, he grabbed a ball off the rack and made his way over to the lane at the very end of the room. There was only one other pony there: a pegasus mare with a yellow coat and red mane. She was about to roll her next round before Noteworthy coughed to grab her attention.
"Oh!" She stepped back to give him room. "Sorry. I totally didn't see you there."
"It's fine," he replied.
Noteworthy trotted forward, lined up his shot, and let it loose. The ball curved to the right and clipped the two leftmost pins. He tried to fix that for his second, but ended up overcorrecting and his ball spun into the gutter.
Neither he nor the mare said anything as they switched places. Noteworthy watched as she knocked over all but one of the pins, tsked to herself, and then proceeded to precisely target the last one.
"Hey, you're pretty good," he said, the words just forming of their own accord.
The mare smiled at that. "Thanks, but this is honestly just a small hobby of mine. There's something cathartic about knocking stuff over, you know?"
Huh. Now that she mentions it, I suppose there is. Noteworthy took his next turn, which wasn't much better than his first.
"I'm Strawberry, by the way," she said while continuing to play. "Strawberry Sunrise. I don't think I've seen you around town before."
"Noteworthy, and same here," he answered.
"So, Noteworthy, other than bowling with an objectively terrible level of skill, what is it that you do?"
He snorted, not letting her dissuade him. "I write songs. Sometimes I also listen to them."
"That sounds fun," she said. "I mostly bounce around doing part-time work, for variety. Quills and Sofas, the weather team, Carrot Top's farm, you name it."
"Interesting," he said, and meant it.
At that point there was a lull in the conversation, and both Strawberry and Noteworthy resumed bowling in earnest. Only after a few more rounds had passed did Noteworthy realize what had just happened.
He stiffened in place. Wait a minute. I just made small talk. With a mare I just met. Who had been by herself until ten minutes ago. That's flirting! I can't be flirting, I have a marefriend!
Strawberry picked up on his discomfort, her brow furrowing. "You ok, dude?"
Now fully aware, Noteworthy couldn't put the genie back in the bottle. He stared at Strawberry, really noticing her for the first time. Her mane was styled like Cipher's, only longer, her eyes were a brilliant emerald green, and her cutie mark matched her name. She was beautiful, at once similar to every other young mare and wholly unique.
He blinked. "Uh, maybe?"
"How can you be maybe ok, you're either one or the other," she said, taking a step closer. "Seriously, what's up?"
Once again, Noteworthy's mouth acted on its own. "Nothing's wrong, that's the problem."
Strawberry giggled. "How is that a problem? You're not a Windigo, are you?"
"No, but—"
"Then you're fine! You're already here; live a little!"
Noteworthy wanted to argue, but she did have a point. What harm is there in a few hours of bowling with a new friend?
A small smile crossing his face, Noteworthy capitulated. "Oh, all right."
And so, they went back to decimating wooden pins. Noteworthy lost track of time as he continued to converse with Strawberry, running the gamut of topics. In doing so, he learned some more about Strawberry. Apparently, she was a childhood friend of the famous Rarity, and had lived here her whole life. Likewise, he opened up to Strawberry a bit. When they were finished, Noteworthy was somewhat disappointed; he'd been having a great time.
Strawberry walked over to the rack to return her bowling ball, and Noteworthy followed. She let out a soft sigh, stretching her limbs and necks. "That was fun, Noteworthy! It's nice having somepony to do this with for once. You wanna meet back here, same time next week?"
"Sure."
"Great! I'll see you then," she said, her mood visibly brighter than when Noteworthy had first arrived.
After returning their shoes, he and Strawberry stepped back outside. With a wave goodbye, she took to the air, spiraling upwards and out of sight.
It took Noteworthy a few more minutes of walking back home, content, before what he'd just done actually hit him. His blood ran cold, and he slowly came to a stop. Horseapples, did I just agree to go out on a date with Strawberry?
Suddenly self-conscious of his surroundings, Noteworthy redoubled his pace. Everything was going so well, it kinda just slipped out! I can't actually follow through, though, right? Cipher will be crushed, or worse, livid, if she finds out!
As the quiet of Ponyville seemed to shroud him in unease, he pursed his lips. I can't just abandon her, though, we've had so many good times together. I'm almost certain I'm in love with Cipher, but I already feel connected to Strawberry. My gut is telling me that if I spend more time with her, I might find something... more, than what I have with Cipher. Yes, that's why I agreed, my primal instincts were just making me act stupid.
He forcefully shook his head. All I need to do is get Cipher to finally reciprocate and divulge herself in full, like what ponies in relationships are supposed to do, and then I won't want to spend time with Strawberry again. It'll all work out.
* * *
It was Saturday afternoon, and Noteworthy walked side by side with Cipher around one of Ponyville's parks. The weatherponies had upped the temperature slightly so more ponies could enjoy spending time outside. He idly wondered if Strawberry had helped before forcing himself to pay attention to Cipher. There was a cute bounce in her step that brought a smile to his face.
She twisted her head to return it, the little ball on top of her beanie flopping around. "Ah. Isn't the weather just swimming today?"
"Definitely," Noteworthy said. "This is nice."
"Yeah it is. This is perfect."
Noteworthy couldn't tell if she actually meant that, or if she was just in a good mood and humoring him.
They kept walking, Noteworthy feeling better than usual simply due to Cipher's presence. As they made their way down the shoveled pathways, they passed a few groups of foals messing around in the snow and some other adult ponies enjoying the idyllic scenery.
He exhaled, his breath fogging the air. Ok, Noteworthy, now's the time. Just tell it to her straight. Tell her that she either needs to fully commit to what we have, or lose it.
Cipher suddenly poked him in the side with a hoof. "Look, it's a snow hare!"
"Hmm?" he followed her gaze over to the left. "Yep, that's a hare all right. A very hoppy hare."
"Ha. That was terrible. Leave the jokes to me, honey," Cipher said. "I wonder where it's going, though."
I could say that about us too, Noteworthy thought. What are you waiting for?
Then, she leaned in closer and said "Maybe to see a HAREdresser?"
Noteworthy shook his head, grinning. "Oh come on, that one wasn't much better than mine."
She rolled her eyes. "You know I'm better at sarcasm."
"Do I?" Noteworthy asked, more to himself than to Cipher.
Cipher blinked, then turned to meet his eyes. Her confused expression bore a subtle, unvoiced question of concern.
Noteworthy shut his eyes for a moment, composing himself. He thought he was ready, but when he opened his mouth, the words just wouldn't come. In his head, he knew exactly what needed to be said, and that he couldn't delay any longer. But Noteworthy's heart still wanted to hold on to Cipher, and apparently wouldn't let him, his voice snuffed out before it could escape his throat. And try as he might, he had no real power over that part of himself.
"It's nothing," he managed.
Cipher stared at him for a minute before she kissed his cheek and forced a smile. "Ok."
She was quiet for the rest of the walk, and so too was Noteworthy. Only small gestures of affection passed between them.
* * *
Noteworthy was sorely tempted to bash his head against the wall repeatedly until he gave himself amnesia. Instead, he sat alone in his kitchen, slumped over the table with drooping ears and nursing a cup of black tea. His last afternoon with Cipher had been awkward, to say the least. Noteworthy felt even more guilty about his upcoming date with Strawberry now than he had on the day he'd agreed to it.
Cursing his own cowardice and at a loss, Noteworthy resorted to desperate measures to try and fix the issue. He'd called the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Not even they, with their youthful energy and ruthless persistence, had managed to discovery anything meaningful about Cipher. She was like the mythical Charybdis, drawing in ponies on the water and giving nothing back.
Despite knowing it would surely crush her as she had slowly crushed him, Noteworthy decreed that if his time with Strawberry went well he would break up with Cipher. He was approaching his wit's end, and continuing to yearn for Cipher would ring in the death knell of his last shred of composure.
Drinking the last of his tea, Noteworthy took a deep breath and stood, running a hoof though his mane. One step at a time, he forced himself over to his writing desk and immersed himself in his compositions. There was no sense in ruminating any longer.
* * *
When Noteworthy arrived at the bowling alley, Strawberry was already waiting. An errant sunbeam had pushed its way through the clouds, warming the wall she was casually leaning against. She pushed herself away from it to trot up to him.
"Glad you could make it!" she exclaimed.
It took Noteworthy slightly longer than usual to reply. "Glad to be here. How was your week?"
"Kinda fun, actually," she said, moving to go inside. "I got to help taste test all the new blends at Chamomile's shop. Oh, and I spent some time with my niece the other day. She puts buttons to shame, that's how cute she is."
"You have a niece?" he asked, holding the door for her.
"Yeah, my older brother's kid, Sunny Daze. I'd go visit them more often if Sunny could hold still for more than two seconds."
He cracked a smile at that. "Sounds about right. Kids will be kids."
Strawberry led the way over to the counter so they could grab their shoes. "Don't get me wrong, I love the little rascal to death, just in short bursts."
The old stallion who ran the place winked at Noteworthy as they found an open spot, eliciting a blush. Thankfully, Strawberry didn't seem to notice.
Once the both of them were ready, Strawberry made a sweeping gesture toward the lane with a wing. "Ladies first."
"Ha ha," said Noteworthy. He rolled his ball as per usual, and got into a rhythm after that, but was more focused on the conversation than the game.
"Ok, so what did you do this week?" Strawberry asked. "You know, other than sit around and write music."
Noteworthy's eyes drifted off to the side. "I, uh, went for a walk in the park. It was... nice."
Strawberry nodded. "I hear a lot of ponies say they like going on walks. Personally, I don't see the appeal. Probably 'cause I've got wings."
"Yeah, that'll do it," he said. "Sometimes I wish I was born a pegasus. Needing less sleep can be a curse as well as a blessing."
She hummed in recognition. "Well, if you played the tuba I'm sure you'd appreciate being an earth pony more." This statement was punctuated by the thunderous cascade of colliding pins. Strawberry punched the air. "Woo, strike, suck it!"
Noteworthy smiled and shook his head. "Anypony can carry a tuba. I'd have to play some sort of portable pipe organ for that to matter."
"Why would anypony want a portable pipe organ? Most ponies don't even like regular pipe organs."
"Maybe to add some oomph to door-to-door Hearth's Warming carols?"
"Hey, that's actually not a bad idea." After a pause, she smirked. "What do you know, he's cute and smart."
Noteworthy blinked. "You think I'm cute?"
"Well, you're certainly not the type of stallion I'd call handsome."
He supposed he'd take it. "So, not in the same way as your niece, I hope?"
"Heh, no, of course not," she confirmed. "How would that even work? I'd have to be a... bisexual incestuous pedophile. I am exactly none of those things."
Noteworthy grimaced. "Ok, yeah, stupid question."
"Truer words have never been spoken."
For a moment, Noteworthy waited for her to continue. When she didn't, he cleared his throat. "Who's turn to roll is it?"
Out of nowhere, she smacked his flank with a wing. "Yours. Go get 'em."
He gaped at the stupid grin on her face. "Uh, will do."
I believe that pretty much confirms it, thought Noteworthy. Strawberry is also interested. Fantastic.
Next comes the hard part.
* * *
After a bit of tweaking, Noteworthy had managed to finish his letter to Cipher. Unlike the notes on a staff, these words came from within, which made penning them faster, if not more structured. He was aware that this method of rejection was somewhat frowned upon in the world of romance, but ignored that fact. It wasn't that he lacked the fortitude to tell Cipher that he was breaking up with her in the flesh, though that was certainly part of it. No, his emotions twisted at the prospect of seeing the look on her face when it happened.
Willing away his remaining doubts, Noteworthy sealed the letter in an envelope with Cipher's name on it. Stepping outside into the billowing snow, he taped it to his front door before slowly walking off, shrouded in the weather's pall. He didn't look back.
Dear Cipher,
I'm sorry, but I just can't be with you anymore. What we had was special, I won't deny that, nor will I forget. Over the many weeks we've enjoyed together, I bared myself to you. My dreams, my fears, my self. However, you haven't done me the same courtesy, sharing your mind and your body but not your heart. I desperately wished to learn more about this mare whom I loved, and perhaps spend the rest of my life with her, but she insisted on remaining a cipher.
I've already found somepony else. I hope you take no offense when I say she reminds me of you, and that you should also try to move on. If we happen to bump into eachother around town, I'd like to keep things amicable between us. Our neighborhood princess would insist that just because we don't work as a couple doesn't mean we can't still be friends. And please, don't blame yourself. This is as much my fault as it is yours.
Once and Forever,
Noteworthy
