Detective jakkid166 Go Equestria Nowby jakkid166ChaptersJakkid meets ElestiaThe chase BEGINSthe chase BEGINSchapter 5ITS THA FINAL CHAPTEEEEERThe pony of being deadJakkid meets Elestia"Wow I've never been on a plane before," I said to Twilight because we were on a train to Canterlot which is a city that has Princess Celestia in it. "Okay, but we need to get there on time or else we will be late," said Twilight who was pedaling to make the train go faster. I looked out the window and saw all the field grass and the sun was shining and the grass was singing and the birds and the air was flying through the air. After a long wait of waiting the train finally made the train station. It stopped in the train station and I got off and fell on my face onto the nails from the floor boards. But it's okay because my glasses blocked the nails. "Get up idiot, we have to go to Celestia." said Twilight who was using magic to pull my fingernails to drag me on the ground. "Okay, fine," I said and I got up and we walked to the castle, there was a big sign on the castle that said "Castle" so that's how we knew it was a castle. We went in the doors and went down the hallway and a bunch of guards threw spears at me but Twilight used a horn spell to make them fall asleep so they couldn't do that. However, one of the spears hit me in the shirt and made me fly through the hallway and I got flung into Princess Celestia's throne room from the spear. "Who the fuck are you" said Princess Celestia. "I'm detective jakkid166" I said as I pulled the spear out of my spear proof vest. "Hes here to solve the case!" said Twilight who was also there. "Oh. Okay, well, Mr. jakkid166, we need you to look at all the evidence we have got from the crime scene." said Celestia and she levitated a box into my face and opened it to show me the evidence, which was stuff. "This is the evidence," said Princess Celestia. "First, there is a gun that the pony died with. Someone stabbed her with it." "What, how did they do that?" "She got stabbed by the bullet that came out of the gun after someone fired it." "Oh okay what else?" "There's nothing else." "WHAT?" I said and I pulled out my gun and shot the window. "This is shit, how am I gonna solve this when the pony is in another WORLD?" "That's where I can help you," said Twilight. "Celestia can use magic to make you able to investigate the crime scene while you are in this world instead of the other one." "Oh, okay. Princess, do that NOW!" "Okay." said Celestia, and she did the thing and then there was a magic TV screen that appeared that showed me the crime scene. "Hm okay" I screamed. "From this picture I can gather the victim is dead." "Wow, I see why they call you the greatest detective in the world" said Twilight not sarcasticaly. "Wait a minute, zoom in on her head!" said me and the magic screen zoomed in. "What the god, theres a GUNSHOT WOUND!" "But what could this mean?" said Twilight "This means the victim was shot with the gun, which also means ONE THING!" "Okay, what is it?" said Celelstsia "You need figners to use guns, so they could only have died by someone who has FINGERS!" Everyone gasped air into their throats SOMEWHERE ELSE AT THE SAME TIME There was a guy who was watching me through their own magic TV but I didn't know that at the time so shut up. "Oh no" said the guy, "It appears this guy is unraveling my entire plan, I must do something before he kills me" SOMEWHERE ELSE OTHER THAN THE LAST PLACE WHICH IS ACTUALLY JUST THE PLACE WHERE WE WERE BEFORE "But who is there that has fingers?" I wondered to myself but then the throne room door opened! "HALT YOURSELF!" said the pony. "I am Inspector Pony and you are under arrest, Detectibe Jakkid166." "Oh okay." I said. "Because," he said "You are the only one in this world with fingers!" "Oh no" I said and I got arrested into jail. "God damn it!" I said banging my door "I'm am innocent, I swear! I'll get Phoenix Wright to defend me in court." Just then the purple pony walked in. "Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and I think you are innocent." "Okay, but how are you going to do that?" I asked. "With this," said Twilight and she flashed her horn and I was in her house instead of in Celestia's prison house. "Now go find the real killer!" said Twilight. "Okay, but first I'm tired," I said, so I tore all the pages out of her books and made a bed and sleept on that for the night. The chase BEGINSAfter I woke up I went back to sleep again because I was still tired. After I woke up I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and woke up. I realized I was in Twilight's house still so I went out of it and decided "Hey, I'm gonna look for clues," so I did that. HOWEVER, I decided I felt like not doing that right now, so I thought I'd go down to the Pinkie Pie place to get some cupcakes so I can eat them. I got on my skateboard and went down to Pinkie's house and went to the counter. "Hi Pinkie Pie," I said. "Hi Detective jakkid166, how are you doing tonight?" she said, dusting off the cupcakes. "Hi, can i have one cupcake please?" I said looking at the cupcakes because they looked good. "Okay," said Pinkie and she grabbed a cupcake and put it in my mouth. Except when she did that she actually didn't grab a cupcake she actually accidentally grabbed a bunch of dust and shoved that in my mouth instead. "EWW UGH GROSS" I said, spitting dust everywhere. "WHY YOU DO THAT" "Oh, sorry Detective here have a free cupcake on my house." said Pinkie and she gave me the cupcake in my hand instead of my mouth and it was an actual cupcake instead of a dust cake. "Okay, thanks Pinkie" I said and I backflipped out the window and threw the cupcake on the ground and my mouth landed on the cupcake and ate it. "Alright where to next?" I asked and I looked at my map. "Hmm maybe we should go to Applejacks. What do you think Twilight?" But she did not answer because she was not there "Oh, right," I said. "Okay, lets go to Apple pie's farm." So I walked down the road really fast and but then I tripped on a rock and I rolled 200 feet and hit myself into a tree. "Ouch," I said because apples were falling on my head from the tree because I hit it. "What in pardnation are you doin boy" said Applejack, who was in the tree picking apples. "I saw your apple trees and I wanted to eat the apples off of them" I said as I ate an apple but it had worms in it so I threw up all over my new shoes. "Hah, that's what yot for stealin partneru ge," said applejack who laughed so hard she fall out of the tree and got knocked unconscious. "Oh damn," I said and I picked up her body and went to the apple house. I used Applejack's hoof to knock on the door and who did open it was Big Macintosh. "Hi horse, I'm here to deliver this for you," I said. "Oh no he KILLED HER" said Big Mac. "What No shes not dead" I said but it was too late. Big Mac kicked me right in the fuck and I went flying across Ponyville and I landed at Fluttershy's house and crashed into her door. "Oh my god" said Fluttershy who opened the door which made me fall off the door onto my knees and my knees broke. "Fluttershy, you gotta help me Im hurt," I said, because my knees hurt from being broken. "Okay, I'll help you," said Fluttershy and she took me inside. But when she did that, she closed the door and it hit me and make me fall on my face on the floor and my glasses broke and the glass shards went in my face and blood was everywhere. "Ow," I said. "Oh shit, sorry I'll get you a band aid." said Fluttershy, and she went upstairs. But little did he know I was actually faking it the whole time! "Hahaha," I said throwing away the ketchup packets I used to fake blood. "Now i can investigate her house for clues because that was my plan the whole time! And that is because I suspect her of being the murderer!" "But why?" said Fluttershy. "It's always the quiet ones," I said. "Okay, now to get clues before she gets back" I looked for clues for an hour but didn't find anything until I did. It was in her trash can and it was a note from someone. It was written with hospital letters and it said: "Fluttershy if you do not kill the pony that died at the beginning of the story I will kill you instead." "Damn this conclusive proof!" I said, putting the note in my pocket. "But who could blackmail Fluttershy, and why? And who sent this note?" Suddenly there was a sound and it was loud, it sounded like a person screaming, except it wasn't a person. It was a PONY! "What the fuck fuck was that noise?" I said, and I jumped up the stairs and opened the door to Fluttershy's house and Fluttershy was on the ground bleeding blood out of her body. "Oh no, who could have done this?" I said but then I looked at the window and saw a guy jumping out the window. "STOP THIEF!" I said and I jumped out the window after them and chased them FAST with my legs of run. the chase BEGINS"GO FASTER, LEGS!" I screamed at my legs to go faster, but the guy who was running from me heard it too, so it made him go faster too. "DAMMIT, I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!" But it was too late, he got so fast that he ran into the forest and I couldn't see him anymore. "Shit," I said, breathing fast because I was tired from running because of chasing the guy. But then a police car came up and a policeman pony came out of it and he came up and punched me in the face and handcuffed me "Detective jakkid166, you're under arrest for murdering Fluttershy" said the pony. "WHAT?" I said and the guy picked me up and threw me into the jail. But when I got thrown into the jail I hit the cell window realy hard and it broke so I climbed out and escaped. "Damn," I said "Now I've been framed for TWO crimes, I'll have to defend myself in court." So I went to the Equestria law place and I took the bar exam and got a degree in law. I went down to the courtroom to defend myself and the trial was already started. "About fucking time you got here jakkid" said the Judge who was actually the judge from the Ace Attorney games. "A detective is never on time, judge," said me "Very well, but where is the prostectution?" Suddenly the prosecution desk got covered in MAGIC and someone APPEARED there It was TWILIGHT SPaRKLE! "WHAT" I said "Why are you prosecuting ME" "Because i changed my mind, I think you're not innocent," said Twilight. "And I'm gonna call my witness to the stand to prove it!" "I call Fluttershy to the stand!" So Fluttershy went on the stand ."H,i I'm here to testify." "Okay, then do that." "So I was in my room upstairs when Detective jakkid166 came up and killed me in the face." "OBJECTION!" I louded. "If I killed you, HOW ARE YOU ALIVE RIGHT NOW?" "FUCK" said Fluttershy, and Twilight. "HE'S RIGHT" "Why did you lie, you idiot?" said the Judge. "Because the guy who really killed me blackmailed me into saying it was jakkid166!" "What, how?" i said and I presented the note I found in the trash. "Woah if you rearrange the letters in "kill the pony at the beginning of this story" it actually says "frame detective jakkid166 for murder!" said Twilight. "WOOOOOAH!" I said. "That's insane, but what are we going to do now if we don't know who the killer is?" "We'll have to INVESTIGATE FOR CLUES!" said Twi Lot. So we left the courtroom and I had an idea that we would go investigate for clues, but we were stopped by something. "Help, the rainbow tanks are leaking" said Rainbow Dash and I looked up at the clouds and rainbows was leaking out of the clouds. "SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!" said Rainbow, so I took my gun and shot it and the bullet plugged the hole and made the rainbows stop leaking. "Wow thanks detective jakkid166 For helping me. I'll give you a clue to help you solve the MYSTERY!" And she gave me a piece of paper that said "BLOOD" on it. "Wtf the fuck does this mean?" I asked Rainbow, but she was not there anymore. "What does it mean, detective?" said Twilight. "Hmmm... WAIT, I got it!" I said looking at the note. "This word has 5 letters in it." "Yeah so?" "5 letters, and also 5 is how many letters is in this word. 5 x 5 is 25, half of 25 is 13, minus my age, that's 10. The word "hemogoblin" is 10 letters long and what's another word for that?" "BLOOD?" said Twilight, she now understanding what T was getting at. "Right, and what does blood come out of?" "DEAD THINGS!" "That's RIGHT! What this clue means is that, in this case we're solving, somepony DIED!" "GASP" said twilight. "But who?" "I don't know, we'll have to investigate for clues!" said me and we started walking around town thinking HARD. "Wow I didn't know you had a skateboard detective, that's cool." "Thanks Twilight." Eventually we decided if anyone is gonna know if somebody died, it was Celestia. So we got on the train and drove it to Canterlot, which is a city that has Princess Celestia in it. Once we got off the train we ran to the Castlelot castle and went in the doors that were really big (instead of the small doors). "Hello," said Celestia. "Hi Celestia," I said. "I need to know, have any ponies died?" "Actually yes," said Celestia and she showed us a picture of a dead pony. "This pony died." "Wow, how did that happen?" "She get shot with a gun, but we don't know how, cause you see the pony died in another WORLD." "But how could other worlds exist?" I said, i was shocked and wondered. "It seems there exists a world that has more people like you in it," said Celestia "Human people." "Then we will have to travel there and INVESTIGATE!" said me "LET'S GO!" "Ok, fine," said Celestia and she opened a portal and me and Twilight went in. chapter 5The portal opened and Twilight shot out of it and then I did a cartwheel outta the portal and landed on Twilight. "TO THE CRIME SCENE" I shouted and I rode twilight whee wee wee all the way to the crime scene. And then we got to the crime scene. When we got to the crime scene I got off Twilight and looked at the body. "Wait a second, Twilight," I said. "What is it?" said Twilight, who was standing. "This is just the pony that died at the beginning of the story," I said. "Oh I see," said Twilight. "Well okay, what now?" "Hmm wait, since we're in my world that means we can investigate in my world" I said and me and Twilight went to the police station so we could look at our files on the case. When we went there, Miles Edgeworth was there, who was a ghost because of when he died. "Hi Edgeworth," I said, waving at him. "Hi Detective jakkid166," said Edgeworth. I went into the evidence room and talked to Chief of Police Damon Gant. "Hi Gant, do you have any evidence for your investigation?" "No, I do not." "But why?" I asked, but then a BULLET went into me But then I heard a gunshot and I looked down and Gant had shot me in my body. "What the fuck why?" I said, but I lost consciousness. _ TIME LATER _ I opened my eyes and woke up and saw I was in a jail. "FUCK!" I said as I sat up. "He must have shot me with a JAIL GUN!" Just then a guard walked in. "Hey Detective Jakkid166, your trial for the murder of that pony is happening now." "FUCK!" I said. "He must have shot me with a GET FRAMED FOR MURDER gun too" ~ THE trial~ "About fucking time you got here jakkid," said the Judge who was actually the judge from the Ace Attorney games. "A detective is never on time, Judge," said me. "Very well but where is the prosecution?" Suddenly the prosecution desk got covered in magic and someone appeared there! It was CHIEF OF POLICE DAMON GANT! "WHAT" I said. "Why are you prosecuting me" "Because I changed my mind, I think you're not innocent," said Chief of Police Damon Gant "And I'm gonna call my witness to the stand to prove it." "Yeah bitch what you say who's your witness then?" "It's ME" said Gant and he drove his car over to the witness stand. He got out at the witness stand and said "Oh by the way jakkid on my way to the witness stand I got some taco bell. You want some" "Sure." I said and I grabbed a chipotle chicken burrito and snacked on it. "Anyway Gant, please testify about the crime." "Okay," said Gant, and he testified. "Wow, that was a good testimony," said the Judge, who was eating a quesadilla. "Okay, I'm about to pronounce Jakkid as guilty, if anyone has any objection speak now or forever hold your peace." "YOU CAN DO IT JAKKID" said Twilight. "LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE!" "Okay," I said and i pulled all the evidence outta my pocket and looked at it. "Wait a minute, it all make sense now!" I shouted. Then I did a big "OBJEEEEEEEEEEECTION Damon Gant is the true murderer!" "WHAT?!" said Gant. "IMPOSSIBLE!" "AND I CAN PROVE IT!" I said. "You see, when I first appeared here in Equestria, Damon Gant was here too, but how could HE has gotten here? HE LIVES IN HUMAN WORLD!" "Oh shit," said the Judge who was eating fries. (Yeah taco Bell has fries now they're pretty good, you should try them) "And also the pony was shot with the gun, and only people with fingers can shoot guns!" "But wait," said Gant, "I wear gloves how could I have fingerprints on the gun?" "You took the gloves off to make us think someone without gloves used the gun!" I said. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Gant. "Also," I said, and I pulled out the note that says blood on it, "This is your handwriting, Gant and I will prove it, Judge test the handwriting!" "Okay," said Judge, "Wow it IS Gant's handwriting!" "What do you have to say about that, Chief of Police Gant, or should I say... CHIEF OF MURDERING PEOPLE GANT?" "GRRRRRRRRRRR" grrrred Gant. "Detective jakkid, you was always a thorn in my side!" "If you give me a raise I'll say you're innocent, Detective jakkid166 is a loose cannon." I said bigly. "What, you can't do that," said Judge. "Oh," I said, "Okay never mind. Guards, take him to jail!" So the police guy parachuted into the courtroom and handcuffed Gant, except he didnt have any handcuffs so he used licorice instead. "This isn't over, jakkid!" said Gant. "Yes it is," I said. "I solved the case, what else could happen?" "Not completely." said Gant. "There's someone else involved with this." "Who is it," said me. "It's-" he said but then he died! "What how?" I said and I looked at him and he was bleeding, and also was dead. "Detective jakkid166 you have to avenge................ me!" he said, and he died. Just then i heard a gunshot and looked out the window and someone had SNIPED Gant from out the window (With a gun, not a knife). "Oh fuck," said me. "Someone shot the witness!" and I took my gun out and shot back but I could not see where the guy was so I just shot in the air and hoped the bullets fall on him. ITS THA FINAL CHAPTEEEEERTwilight smacked me in the face and punched me in the foot and Shouted in my face "JAKKID you have to solve the case!" "WhooooA!" I shouted loud. "Thanks Twilight I needed that I was sleeping for two months." So I jumped out the window and went back to Celestia's house so I could get the evidence from her. "Celesita!" I screamed as I shot the door open with my gun. "I got a question for you" "What is it jakkid?" said Celestia who was at the time busy building a Bob sled for the annual Equestria bob sledding competition. "Are you the true killer?" "No" "Oh okay, well who is then?" "Its YOU!" She said and then I was in jail. "Wait what the fuck?" I shouted and looked around like a guy. "Okay but, why am I the killer?" But she did not answer because she wasnt there so I had to do some thinking with my Detective powers. "Hmmmm." I shouted. "The only way someone could think I did the crime is if they saw me do the crime. But I didnt do the crime, which must mean someone who LOOK like me commit the crime. And in Equestria someone cold only look like me if they use magic to look like me. Also ponies have hoofs and cant use guns, so it wold have to be a unicorn! But which one?" And then it hit me like a thing. "I know, it was TWILIGHT!" DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN "Okay well itsa time I go arrest her for being guilty," I shouted and I opened the jail door and left to Ponyville. When I got to her house I knocked on the door and when she opend it I slappe my handcuffs on her and said "Twilight Sarkle you are under arrest for the murder of whatever the name of the pony that got murdered is." "What But Jakkid I swear I didnt do the crime! It was someone else!" "Okay well who is it then?" "Come inside and Ill help you figure it out" said Twilight. So me and Twilight went in and read a buncha books to help figure out the thing. "Wait" said Twilight "I found it!" and she showed me the book and it said "the killer is Discord". "Who's Discord?" I said confusingedly. "Discord is a dick hole who go around making chaos and shit fuck," say Twilight. "We gotta go arrest him before he keeps making bad." "Okay" I said and we left her house. "Wait," I said, "Where is discord?" "Uhhhh, fuck, I dont know." "Well then lets look for him." I said and we ran around town tryin to find discord. First we went to Sugarpube corner and talked to Pinkie Pie but she was annoying so we left. Then we went to Rarity's house place. "Oh yes Darling, I saw Discord today he was at Pinkie Pie's house." said Rarity. "Oh sweet thanks." said Twilight and me and we went back to Sugarcube corner and Discord was there. "Discord" I said pulling out me handcuffs "You are under arrest for killing the pony." "Oh no you found me!" said Discord "But you cant put me in jail cause it wasnt me." "GODDAMMIT" I screamed "Who is it then?" "It was the clone of you I made to kill the pony." "We will see about that in court" said me and then we were in the courtroom. Twilight and me were prosecuting Discord and Discord was defending himself and Celestia was the Judge which means this is the last chapter. "I will now call my witness to the stand, Detective Jakkid166." said Discord. "What the fuck Im not a witness" I said but then I was on the witness stand. Which I mean it wasnt me who was on there but it was a guy who look exactly like me. "This is the clone of you I made with magic," said Discord. "Hes the one who killed the stuff." "Well see about that." said me. "Thats right." said the clone me "I killed the dead people and now I will get in prison instead of Discord." "Shit!" said me "We cant let Discord get away with this what can we do?" "Idk." said Twilight. And then the clone me disappear from the stand. "Well shit if the culprit isnt here I cant sentence him. I pronounce Discord not guilty," said Celestia. "What the fuck" said me. "But Discord made the clone" "Yeah but the clone did the crimes so the clone is the one whos guilty but he doesn't exist anymore so we cant put anyone in jail." "SHIT" * LATER TIME * "Well that sucked." I said drinking my root beer out of the cup. "I wanted to solve the case." "You did solve the case," said Twilight "But the legal process systems in this country are bad and wasnt able to convict the Discord and really even if they did he cold just teleport away anyway so it doesnt matter. You still found the culprit all by yourself." "Well youre right," I said "But why did the book say it was Discord who was the killer why would that even be written in it?" "Oh wait," said Twilight "That was just a fanfiction I was writing." "TWILIGHT YOU ASSHOLE" * LATER * "Okay so what now?" I said while I was smoking weed with Twilight. "Well you can stay in Equestria and help fix our laws." "Good idea, plus since I'm a detective that already means I can make new laws!" I said. "Its time to go to Celestia and fix your laws." "Okay good." said Twilight "Can you make it illegal to be Rainbow Dash?" "Sure." I said and me and Twilight decided to go to Canterlot to fix law forever. But before we did that, we decide to do one last thing... a BIG musical number, because this is my little pony. But I cant post the lyrics here cause ill get banned. THE END The pony of being deadI'm Detective jakkid166 and Im the greatest detective in the world. I'm good at solving cases and I catch the criminals every time most of the time. One day I decided I felt like doing my job, so I went to the police station to solve a case. As I pushed up the glasses on my eyes, I back flipped into my office through the window because I forgot my keys to my office in Sonic World. I was in Sonic World earlier because I had just solved a case and was given the "Greatest Detective In The World" medal award for it. I landed in my chair and a guy opened the door to my office and sat down on the floor. "Detective jakkid166," The guy said, "Why are you in my office you idiot?" "Oh shit is this your office?" I said looking at all the pictures of him on the wall that had his name on them. "I wasn't tell." "Well, I have a case for you, Im the chief of police Damon Gant." "Oh, hello Chief of Police Damon Gant. Did you get back to me on the raise I asked you about?" "If you can solve this case ill give you a raise, but be aware it's a REALLY hard case and it'll take you a long time to solve it!" "I can handle long hard things" I said. "Give me the case." "Okay." said Gant and he threw the case at me and it smacked me in the head and it opened and all tha papers fell out onto my desk. "But," I said grabbing a paper out of my drawer "This says the victim is a pony not a human." "Yes, a pony got killed for some reason. I didn't know ponies could die or talk you know?" "What are you shitting about Gant, Ponies aren't real!" "Yeah they are jakkid, haven't you ever seen My Little Pony?" "That's a cartoon, Gant, nothing in cartoons are real! Get out of my office this instant!" "Okay, fine, just solve the case," said Gant and he backflipped out the door. "Okay it's time to investigate," I said and I jumped out my window and fell five stories into my police car which I drove to the crime scene at 160 car per hour "Hello Detective jakkid166 the greatest detective in the world how are you today?" said the investigation police crime scene forensics fingerprints detecting guy. "I agree," I said "But first I have to check out the crime scene." "Okay, it's right over there!" said the guy. "But beware, there is blood!" "I ain't afraid of no blood." I said and I went to the crime scene. "AAAAAAGH," I screamed! "What is it?" said the guy. "There's BLOOD HERE, there's like 15 gallons of it!" "I thought you said you wasn't afraid of blood." "No I said I'm not afraid of NO blood, I am afraid of YES blood" "Ok, hold on," said the guy and he got out a napkin and wiped up all that blood. "Ok thanks!" I said. "Anyway," I said, and I looked at the scene. "Wait a minute, there's something wrong about this crime scene. This dead thing isn't a human, this pony." "GASP!" said the crime scene guy. "But how is that possible?" "I don't know." said me and i bent down to look at the body but suddenly there was a SOUND! "Oh fuck I don't like sounds fuck this I'm leaving." said the guy and he leaved away. "What was that sound?" I asked the pony but it didn't respond for some reason. Just then a THING happened. The pony started GLOWING and then a big HOLE happened and then I tripped and fell in!? "Oh no" I said as I was falling through blacks. Suddenly I woke up and I was in a bathroom, there was a floor and walls and a door and also bathroom stuff. "What the fuck" I said when I got up on my feet. "why does that toilet look like it was made for horses and also what kind of world is this?" Suddenly the door opened and a guy was there but it actually wasn't a guy. It was a PONY Except it wasn't a pony because it was a guy pony so it was whatever those are called "AAAAAAGH" The pony screamed quietly. "SOMEONE'S IN MY SHIT ROOM" "Oh fuck" I said and I backflipped out the window and landed on the ground. "Where am I?" I said and I looked around but I couldn't see anything because my eyes were closed So I opened my eyes and looked around and saw I was in a town with houses in it. There were ponies walking around on the ground and also in the air. "Wow this is interesting" I said "Its like earth but its a different planet." So I went and walked in the town and lots of ponies were looking to me like I was weird. But I'm not weird theyre weird so I kept walking and I got to place where there was a house. The house was big and also a tree. I knocked on the door with my glasses and broke them on accident but then a Pony opened the door with a horn on her head. She was purple and also was a unicorn, except not blue. "Hello Detective Jakkid166, the greatest detective in the world. I called you here to Equestria because we need YOUR help!" "GASP!" I gasped. "But why?" "Because we need YOUR help!" "For what?" "Solving a case, a pony has DIED?" "Yea I fuckin' know, idiot. I already saw her in my world." "Yeah, well, she's not supposed to be in your world, and now she's dead! So now you've gotta figure out what happened!" "Or what buster?" "Then you won't get the raise from me," said Chief of Police Damon Gant, who was also there. "FUCK" I said. "Okay, but you better pay me good money for this, Detective jakkid166 is a loose cannon."
Jakkid meets Elestia"Wow I've never been on a plane before," I said to Twilight because we were on a train to Canterlot which is a city that has Princess Celestia in it. "Okay, but we need to get there on time or else we will be late," said Twilight who was pedaling to make the train go faster. I looked out the window and saw all the field grass and the sun was shining and the grass was singing and the birds and the air was flying through the air. After a long wait of waiting the train finally made the train station. It stopped in the train station and I got off and fell on my face onto the nails from the floor boards. But it's okay because my glasses blocked the nails. "Get up idiot, we have to go to Celestia." said Twilight who was using magic to pull my fingernails to drag me on the ground. "Okay, fine," I said and I got up and we walked to the castle, there was a big sign on the castle that said "Castle" so that's how we knew it was a castle. We went in the doors and went down the hallway and a bunch of guards threw spears at me but Twilight used a horn spell to make them fall asleep so they couldn't do that. However, one of the spears hit me in the shirt and made me fly through the hallway and I got flung into Princess Celestia's throne room from the spear. "Who the fuck are you" said Princess Celestia. "I'm detective jakkid166" I said as I pulled the spear out of my spear proof vest. "Hes here to solve the case!" said Twilight who was also there. "Oh. Okay, well, Mr. jakkid166, we need you to look at all the evidence we have got from the crime scene." said Celestia and she levitated a box into my face and opened it to show me the evidence, which was stuff. "This is the evidence," said Princess Celestia. "First, there is a gun that the pony died with. Someone stabbed her with it." "What, how did they do that?" "She got stabbed by the bullet that came out of the gun after someone fired it." "Oh okay what else?" "There's nothing else." "WHAT?" I said and I pulled out my gun and shot the window. "This is shit, how am I gonna solve this when the pony is in another WORLD?" "That's where I can help you," said Twilight. "Celestia can use magic to make you able to investigate the crime scene while you are in this world instead of the other one." "Oh, okay. Princess, do that NOW!" "Okay." said Celestia, and she did the thing and then there was a magic TV screen that appeared that showed me the crime scene. "Hm okay" I screamed. "From this picture I can gather the victim is dead." "Wow, I see why they call you the greatest detective in the world" said Twilight not sarcasticaly. "Wait a minute, zoom in on her head!" said me and the magic screen zoomed in. "What the god, theres a GUNSHOT WOUND!" "But what could this mean?" said Twilight "This means the victim was shot with the gun, which also means ONE THING!" "Okay, what is it?" said Celelstsia "You need figners to use guns, so they could only have died by someone who has FINGERS!" Everyone gasped air into their throats SOMEWHERE ELSE AT THE SAME TIME There was a guy who was watching me through their own magic TV but I didn't know that at the time so shut up. "Oh no" said the guy, "It appears this guy is unraveling my entire plan, I must do something before he kills me" SOMEWHERE ELSE OTHER THAN THE LAST PLACE WHICH IS ACTUALLY JUST THE PLACE WHERE WE WERE BEFORE "But who is there that has fingers?" I wondered to myself but then the throne room door opened! "HALT YOURSELF!" said the pony. "I am Inspector Pony and you are under arrest, Detectibe Jakkid166." "Oh okay." I said. "Because," he said "You are the only one in this world with fingers!" "Oh no" I said and I got arrested into jail. "God damn it!" I said banging my door "I'm am innocent, I swear! I'll get Phoenix Wright to defend me in court." Just then the purple pony walked in. "Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and I think you are innocent." "Okay, but how are you going to do that?" I asked. "With this," said Twilight and she flashed her horn and I was in her house instead of in Celestia's prison house. "Now go find the real killer!" said Twilight. "Okay, but first I'm tired," I said, so I tore all the pages out of her books and made a bed and sleept on that for the night.
The chase BEGINSAfter I woke up I went back to sleep again because I was still tired. After I woke up I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and woke up. I realized I was in Twilight's house still so I went out of it and decided "Hey, I'm gonna look for clues," so I did that. HOWEVER, I decided I felt like not doing that right now, so I thought I'd go down to the Pinkie Pie place to get some cupcakes so I can eat them. I got on my skateboard and went down to Pinkie's house and went to the counter. "Hi Pinkie Pie," I said. "Hi Detective jakkid166, how are you doing tonight?" she said, dusting off the cupcakes. "Hi, can i have one cupcake please?" I said looking at the cupcakes because they looked good. "Okay," said Pinkie and she grabbed a cupcake and put it in my mouth. Except when she did that she actually didn't grab a cupcake she actually accidentally grabbed a bunch of dust and shoved that in my mouth instead. "EWW UGH GROSS" I said, spitting dust everywhere. "WHY YOU DO THAT" "Oh, sorry Detective here have a free cupcake on my house." said Pinkie and she gave me the cupcake in my hand instead of my mouth and it was an actual cupcake instead of a dust cake. "Okay, thanks Pinkie" I said and I backflipped out the window and threw the cupcake on the ground and my mouth landed on the cupcake and ate it. "Alright where to next?" I asked and I looked at my map. "Hmm maybe we should go to Applejacks. What do you think Twilight?" But she did not answer because she was not there "Oh, right," I said. "Okay, lets go to Apple pie's farm." So I walked down the road really fast and but then I tripped on a rock and I rolled 200 feet and hit myself into a tree. "Ouch," I said because apples were falling on my head from the tree because I hit it. "What in pardnation are you doin boy" said Applejack, who was in the tree picking apples. "I saw your apple trees and I wanted to eat the apples off of them" I said as I ate an apple but it had worms in it so I threw up all over my new shoes. "Hah, that's what yot for stealin partneru ge," said applejack who laughed so hard she fall out of the tree and got knocked unconscious. "Oh damn," I said and I picked up her body and went to the apple house. I used Applejack's hoof to knock on the door and who did open it was Big Macintosh. "Hi horse, I'm here to deliver this for you," I said. "Oh no he KILLED HER" said Big Mac. "What No shes not dead" I said but it was too late. Big Mac kicked me right in the fuck and I went flying across Ponyville and I landed at Fluttershy's house and crashed into her door. "Oh my god" said Fluttershy who opened the door which made me fall off the door onto my knees and my knees broke. "Fluttershy, you gotta help me Im hurt," I said, because my knees hurt from being broken. "Okay, I'll help you," said Fluttershy and she took me inside. But when she did that, she closed the door and it hit me and make me fall on my face on the floor and my glasses broke and the glass shards went in my face and blood was everywhere. "Ow," I said. "Oh shit, sorry I'll get you a band aid." said Fluttershy, and she went upstairs. But little did he know I was actually faking it the whole time! "Hahaha," I said throwing away the ketchup packets I used to fake blood. "Now i can investigate her house for clues because that was my plan the whole time! And that is because I suspect her of being the murderer!" "But why?" said Fluttershy. "It's always the quiet ones," I said. "Okay, now to get clues before she gets back" I looked for clues for an hour but didn't find anything until I did. It was in her trash can and it was a note from someone. It was written with hospital letters and it said: "Fluttershy if you do not kill the pony that died at the beginning of the story I will kill you instead." "Damn this conclusive proof!" I said, putting the note in my pocket. "But who could blackmail Fluttershy, and why? And who sent this note?" Suddenly there was a sound and it was loud, it sounded like a person screaming, except it wasn't a person. It was a PONY! "What the fuck fuck was that noise?" I said, and I jumped up the stairs and opened the door to Fluttershy's house and Fluttershy was on the ground bleeding blood out of her body. "Oh no, who could have done this?" I said but then I looked at the window and saw a guy jumping out the window. "STOP THIEF!" I said and I jumped out the window after them and chased them FAST with my legs of run.
the chase BEGINS"GO FASTER, LEGS!" I screamed at my legs to go faster, but the guy who was running from me heard it too, so it made him go faster too. "DAMMIT, I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!" But it was too late, he got so fast that he ran into the forest and I couldn't see him anymore. "Shit," I said, breathing fast because I was tired from running because of chasing the guy. But then a police car came up and a policeman pony came out of it and he came up and punched me in the face and handcuffed me "Detective jakkid166, you're under arrest for murdering Fluttershy" said the pony. "WHAT?" I said and the guy picked me up and threw me into the jail. But when I got thrown into the jail I hit the cell window realy hard and it broke so I climbed out and escaped. "Damn," I said "Now I've been framed for TWO crimes, I'll have to defend myself in court." So I went to the Equestria law place and I took the bar exam and got a degree in law. I went down to the courtroom to defend myself and the trial was already started. "About fucking time you got here jakkid" said the Judge who was actually the judge from the Ace Attorney games. "A detective is never on time, judge," said me "Very well, but where is the prostectution?" Suddenly the prosecution desk got covered in MAGIC and someone APPEARED there It was TWILIGHT SPaRKLE! "WHAT" I said "Why are you prosecuting ME" "Because i changed my mind, I think you're not innocent," said Twilight. "And I'm gonna call my witness to the stand to prove it!" "I call Fluttershy to the stand!" So Fluttershy went on the stand ."H,i I'm here to testify." "Okay, then do that." "So I was in my room upstairs when Detective jakkid166 came up and killed me in the face." "OBJECTION!" I louded. "If I killed you, HOW ARE YOU ALIVE RIGHT NOW?" "FUCK" said Fluttershy, and Twilight. "HE'S RIGHT" "Why did you lie, you idiot?" said the Judge. "Because the guy who really killed me blackmailed me into saying it was jakkid166!" "What, how?" i said and I presented the note I found in the trash. "Woah if you rearrange the letters in "kill the pony at the beginning of this story" it actually says "frame detective jakkid166 for murder!" said Twilight. "WOOOOOAH!" I said. "That's insane, but what are we going to do now if we don't know who the killer is?" "We'll have to INVESTIGATE FOR CLUES!" said Twi Lot. So we left the courtroom and I had an idea that we would go investigate for clues, but we were stopped by something. "Help, the rainbow tanks are leaking" said Rainbow Dash and I looked up at the clouds and rainbows was leaking out of the clouds. "SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!" said Rainbow, so I took my gun and shot it and the bullet plugged the hole and made the rainbows stop leaking. "Wow thanks detective jakkid166 For helping me. I'll give you a clue to help you solve the MYSTERY!" And she gave me a piece of paper that said "BLOOD" on it. "Wtf the fuck does this mean?" I asked Rainbow, but she was not there anymore. "What does it mean, detective?" said Twilight. "Hmmm... WAIT, I got it!" I said looking at the note. "This word has 5 letters in it." "Yeah so?" "5 letters, and also 5 is how many letters is in this word. 5 x 5 is 25, half of 25 is 13, minus my age, that's 10. The word "hemogoblin" is 10 letters long and what's another word for that?" "BLOOD?" said Twilight, she now understanding what T was getting at. "Right, and what does blood come out of?" "DEAD THINGS!" "That's RIGHT! What this clue means is that, in this case we're solving, somepony DIED!" "GASP" said twilight. "But who?" "I don't know, we'll have to investigate for clues!" said me and we started walking around town thinking HARD. "Wow I didn't know you had a skateboard detective, that's cool." "Thanks Twilight." Eventually we decided if anyone is gonna know if somebody died, it was Celestia. So we got on the train and drove it to Canterlot, which is a city that has Princess Celestia in it. Once we got off the train we ran to the Castlelot castle and went in the doors that were really big (instead of the small doors). "Hello," said Celestia. "Hi Celestia," I said. "I need to know, have any ponies died?" "Actually yes," said Celestia and she showed us a picture of a dead pony. "This pony died." "Wow, how did that happen?" "She get shot with a gun, but we don't know how, cause you see the pony died in another WORLD." "But how could other worlds exist?" I said, i was shocked and wondered. "It seems there exists a world that has more people like you in it," said Celestia "Human people." "Then we will have to travel there and INVESTIGATE!" said me "LET'S GO!" "Ok, fine," said Celestia and she opened a portal and me and Twilight went in.
chapter 5The portal opened and Twilight shot out of it and then I did a cartwheel outta the portal and landed on Twilight. "TO THE CRIME SCENE" I shouted and I rode twilight whee wee wee all the way to the crime scene. And then we got to the crime scene. When we got to the crime scene I got off Twilight and looked at the body. "Wait a second, Twilight," I said. "What is it?" said Twilight, who was standing. "This is just the pony that died at the beginning of the story," I said. "Oh I see," said Twilight. "Well okay, what now?" "Hmm wait, since we're in my world that means we can investigate in my world" I said and me and Twilight went to the police station so we could look at our files on the case. When we went there, Miles Edgeworth was there, who was a ghost because of when he died. "Hi Edgeworth," I said, waving at him. "Hi Detective jakkid166," said Edgeworth. I went into the evidence room and talked to Chief of Police Damon Gant. "Hi Gant, do you have any evidence for your investigation?" "No, I do not." "But why?" I asked, but then a BULLET went into me But then I heard a gunshot and I looked down and Gant had shot me in my body. "What the fuck why?" I said, but I lost consciousness. _ TIME LATER _ I opened my eyes and woke up and saw I was in a jail. "FUCK!" I said as I sat up. "He must have shot me with a JAIL GUN!" Just then a guard walked in. "Hey Detective Jakkid166, your trial for the murder of that pony is happening now." "FUCK!" I said. "He must have shot me with a GET FRAMED FOR MURDER gun too" ~ THE trial~ "About fucking time you got here jakkid," said the Judge who was actually the judge from the Ace Attorney games. "A detective is never on time, Judge," said me. "Very well but where is the prosecution?" Suddenly the prosecution desk got covered in magic and someone appeared there! It was CHIEF OF POLICE DAMON GANT! "WHAT" I said. "Why are you prosecuting me" "Because I changed my mind, I think you're not innocent," said Chief of Police Damon Gant "And I'm gonna call my witness to the stand to prove it." "Yeah bitch what you say who's your witness then?" "It's ME" said Gant and he drove his car over to the witness stand. He got out at the witness stand and said "Oh by the way jakkid on my way to the witness stand I got some taco bell. You want some" "Sure." I said and I grabbed a chipotle chicken burrito and snacked on it. "Anyway Gant, please testify about the crime." "Okay," said Gant, and he testified. "Wow, that was a good testimony," said the Judge, who was eating a quesadilla. "Okay, I'm about to pronounce Jakkid as guilty, if anyone has any objection speak now or forever hold your peace." "YOU CAN DO IT JAKKID" said Twilight. "LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE!" "Okay," I said and i pulled all the evidence outta my pocket and looked at it. "Wait a minute, it all make sense now!" I shouted. Then I did a big "OBJEEEEEEEEEEECTION Damon Gant is the true murderer!" "WHAT?!" said Gant. "IMPOSSIBLE!" "AND I CAN PROVE IT!" I said. "You see, when I first appeared here in Equestria, Damon Gant was here too, but how could HE has gotten here? HE LIVES IN HUMAN WORLD!" "Oh shit," said the Judge who was eating fries. (Yeah taco Bell has fries now they're pretty good, you should try them) "And also the pony was shot with the gun, and only people with fingers can shoot guns!" "But wait," said Gant, "I wear gloves how could I have fingerprints on the gun?" "You took the gloves off to make us think someone without gloves used the gun!" I said. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" said Gant. "Also," I said, and I pulled out the note that says blood on it, "This is your handwriting, Gant and I will prove it, Judge test the handwriting!" "Okay," said Judge, "Wow it IS Gant's handwriting!" "What do you have to say about that, Chief of Police Gant, or should I say... CHIEF OF MURDERING PEOPLE GANT?" "GRRRRRRRRRRR" grrrred Gant. "Detective jakkid, you was always a thorn in my side!" "If you give me a raise I'll say you're innocent, Detective jakkid166 is a loose cannon." I said bigly. "What, you can't do that," said Judge. "Oh," I said, "Okay never mind. Guards, take him to jail!" So the police guy parachuted into the courtroom and handcuffed Gant, except he didnt have any handcuffs so he used licorice instead. "This isn't over, jakkid!" said Gant. "Yes it is," I said. "I solved the case, what else could happen?" "Not completely." said Gant. "There's someone else involved with this." "Who is it," said me. "It's-" he said but then he died! "What how?" I said and I looked at him and he was bleeding, and also was dead. "Detective jakkid166 you have to avenge................ me!" he said, and he died. Just then i heard a gunshot and looked out the window and someone had SNIPED Gant from out the window (With a gun, not a knife). "Oh fuck," said me. "Someone shot the witness!" and I took my gun out and shot back but I could not see where the guy was so I just shot in the air and hoped the bullets fall on him.
ITS THA FINAL CHAPTEEEEERTwilight smacked me in the face and punched me in the foot and Shouted in my face "JAKKID you have to solve the case!" "WhooooA!" I shouted loud. "Thanks Twilight I needed that I was sleeping for two months." So I jumped out the window and went back to Celestia's house so I could get the evidence from her. "Celesita!" I screamed as I shot the door open with my gun. "I got a question for you" "What is it jakkid?" said Celestia who was at the time busy building a Bob sled for the annual Equestria bob sledding competition. "Are you the true killer?" "No" "Oh okay, well who is then?" "Its YOU!" She said and then I was in jail. "Wait what the fuck?" I shouted and looked around like a guy. "Okay but, why am I the killer?" But she did not answer because she wasnt there so I had to do some thinking with my Detective powers. "Hmmmm." I shouted. "The only way someone could think I did the crime is if they saw me do the crime. But I didnt do the crime, which must mean someone who LOOK like me commit the crime. And in Equestria someone cold only look like me if they use magic to look like me. Also ponies have hoofs and cant use guns, so it wold have to be a unicorn! But which one?" And then it hit me like a thing. "I know, it was TWILIGHT!" DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN "Okay well itsa time I go arrest her for being guilty," I shouted and I opened the jail door and left to Ponyville. When I got to her house I knocked on the door and when she opend it I slappe my handcuffs on her and said "Twilight Sarkle you are under arrest for the murder of whatever the name of the pony that got murdered is." "What But Jakkid I swear I didnt do the crime! It was someone else!" "Okay well who is it then?" "Come inside and Ill help you figure it out" said Twilight. So me and Twilight went in and read a buncha books to help figure out the thing. "Wait" said Twilight "I found it!" and she showed me the book and it said "the killer is Discord". "Who's Discord?" I said confusingedly. "Discord is a dick hole who go around making chaos and shit fuck," say Twilight. "We gotta go arrest him before he keeps making bad." "Okay" I said and we left her house. "Wait," I said, "Where is discord?" "Uhhhh, fuck, I dont know." "Well then lets look for him." I said and we ran around town tryin to find discord. First we went to Sugarpube corner and talked to Pinkie Pie but she was annoying so we left. Then we went to Rarity's house place. "Oh yes Darling, I saw Discord today he was at Pinkie Pie's house." said Rarity. "Oh sweet thanks." said Twilight and me and we went back to Sugarcube corner and Discord was there. "Discord" I said pulling out me handcuffs "You are under arrest for killing the pony." "Oh no you found me!" said Discord "But you cant put me in jail cause it wasnt me." "GODDAMMIT" I screamed "Who is it then?" "It was the clone of you I made to kill the pony." "We will see about that in court" said me and then we were in the courtroom. Twilight and me were prosecuting Discord and Discord was defending himself and Celestia was the Judge which means this is the last chapter. "I will now call my witness to the stand, Detective Jakkid166." said Discord. "What the fuck Im not a witness" I said but then I was on the witness stand. Which I mean it wasnt me who was on there but it was a guy who look exactly like me. "This is the clone of you I made with magic," said Discord. "Hes the one who killed the stuff." "Well see about that." said me. "Thats right." said the clone me "I killed the dead people and now I will get in prison instead of Discord." "Shit!" said me "We cant let Discord get away with this what can we do?" "Idk." said Twilight. And then the clone me disappear from the stand. "Well shit if the culprit isnt here I cant sentence him. I pronounce Discord not guilty," said Celestia. "What the fuck" said me. "But Discord made the clone" "Yeah but the clone did the crimes so the clone is the one whos guilty but he doesn't exist anymore so we cant put anyone in jail." "SHIT" * LATER TIME * "Well that sucked." I said drinking my root beer out of the cup. "I wanted to solve the case." "You did solve the case," said Twilight "But the legal process systems in this country are bad and wasnt able to convict the Discord and really even if they did he cold just teleport away anyway so it doesnt matter. You still found the culprit all by yourself." "Well youre right," I said "But why did the book say it was Discord who was the killer why would that even be written in it?" "Oh wait," said Twilight "That was just a fanfiction I was writing." "TWILIGHT YOU ASSHOLE" * LATER * "Okay so what now?" I said while I was smoking weed with Twilight. "Well you can stay in Equestria and help fix our laws." "Good idea, plus since I'm a detective that already means I can make new laws!" I said. "Its time to go to Celestia and fix your laws." "Okay good." said Twilight "Can you make it illegal to be Rainbow Dash?" "Sure." I said and me and Twilight decided to go to Canterlot to fix law forever. But before we did that, we decide to do one last thing... a BIG musical number, because this is my little pony. But I cant post the lyrics here cause ill get banned. THE END
The pony of being deadI'm Detective jakkid166 and Im the greatest detective in the world. I'm good at solving cases and I catch the criminals every time most of the time. One day I decided I felt like doing my job, so I went to the police station to solve a case. As I pushed up the glasses on my eyes, I back flipped into my office through the window because I forgot my keys to my office in Sonic World. I was in Sonic World earlier because I had just solved a case and was given the "Greatest Detective In The World" medal award for it. I landed in my chair and a guy opened the door to my office and sat down on the floor. "Detective jakkid166," The guy said, "Why are you in my office you idiot?" "Oh shit is this your office?" I said looking at all the pictures of him on the wall that had his name on them. "I wasn't tell." "Well, I have a case for you, Im the chief of police Damon Gant." "Oh, hello Chief of Police Damon Gant. Did you get back to me on the raise I asked you about?" "If you can solve this case ill give you a raise, but be aware it's a REALLY hard case and it'll take you a long time to solve it!" "I can handle long hard things" I said. "Give me the case." "Okay." said Gant and he threw the case at me and it smacked me in the head and it opened and all tha papers fell out onto my desk. "But," I said grabbing a paper out of my drawer "This says the victim is a pony not a human." "Yes, a pony got killed for some reason. I didn't know ponies could die or talk you know?" "What are you shitting about Gant, Ponies aren't real!" "Yeah they are jakkid, haven't you ever seen My Little Pony?" "That's a cartoon, Gant, nothing in cartoons are real! Get out of my office this instant!" "Okay, fine, just solve the case," said Gant and he backflipped out the door. "Okay it's time to investigate," I said and I jumped out my window and fell five stories into my police car which I drove to the crime scene at 160 car per hour "Hello Detective jakkid166 the greatest detective in the world how are you today?" said the investigation police crime scene forensics fingerprints detecting guy. "I agree," I said "But first I have to check out the crime scene." "Okay, it's right over there!" said the guy. "But beware, there is blood!" "I ain't afraid of no blood." I said and I went to the crime scene. "AAAAAAGH," I screamed! "What is it?" said the guy. "There's BLOOD HERE, there's like 15 gallons of it!" "I thought you said you wasn't afraid of blood." "No I said I'm not afraid of NO blood, I am afraid of YES blood" "Ok, hold on," said the guy and he got out a napkin and wiped up all that blood. "Ok thanks!" I said. "Anyway," I said, and I looked at the scene. "Wait a minute, there's something wrong about this crime scene. This dead thing isn't a human, this pony." "GASP!" said the crime scene guy. "But how is that possible?" "I don't know." said me and i bent down to look at the body but suddenly there was a SOUND! "Oh fuck I don't like sounds fuck this I'm leaving." said the guy and he leaved away. "What was that sound?" I asked the pony but it didn't respond for some reason. Just then a THING happened. The pony started GLOWING and then a big HOLE happened and then I tripped and fell in!? "Oh no" I said as I was falling through blacks. Suddenly I woke up and I was in a bathroom, there was a floor and walls and a door and also bathroom stuff. "What the fuck" I said when I got up on my feet. "why does that toilet look like it was made for horses and also what kind of world is this?" Suddenly the door opened and a guy was there but it actually wasn't a guy. It was a PONY Except it wasn't a pony because it was a guy pony so it was whatever those are called "AAAAAAGH" The pony screamed quietly. "SOMEONE'S IN MY SHIT ROOM" "Oh fuck" I said and I backflipped out the window and landed on the ground. "Where am I?" I said and I looked around but I couldn't see anything because my eyes were closed So I opened my eyes and looked around and saw I was in a town with houses in it. There were ponies walking around on the ground and also in the air. "Wow this is interesting" I said "Its like earth but its a different planet." So I went and walked in the town and lots of ponies were looking to me like I was weird. But I'm not weird theyre weird so I kept walking and I got to place where there was a house. The house was big and also a tree. I knocked on the door with my glasses and broke them on accident but then a Pony opened the door with a horn on her head. She was purple and also was a unicorn, except not blue. "Hello Detective Jakkid166, the greatest detective in the world. I called you here to Equestria because we need YOUR help!" "GASP!" I gasped. "But why?" "Because we need YOUR help!" "For what?" "Solving a case, a pony has DIED?" "Yea I fuckin' know, idiot. I already saw her in my world." "Yeah, well, she's not supposed to be in your world, and now she's dead! So now you've gotta figure out what happened!" "Or what buster?" "Then you won't get the raise from me," said Chief of Police Damon Gant, who was also there. "FUCK" I said. "Okay, but you better pay me good money for this, Detective jakkid166 is a loose cannon."
