I heaved a sigh; it was the end of another day. Luna, my dear sister, would care for the night, and so "Princess Celestia" would not be needed until the following morning. Sitting on the throne still, I watched the back-end of the last petitioner of the day leaving, my last obligation to Equestria departing.
"I think I will retire for the day," I said.
My voice might sound even and serene, but in truth I felt my throat tremble. I stepped forward, taking the first of many steps down from the seat of power. A little chuckle rose from the core of my being, and like a breath of fresh air it built into a laugh.
The stairs were lighter, easier to take, and I glided down with my mane and tail flowing freely. Though sunset was almost upon the castle, I held no fear of the twilight. Or of my Twilight.
The walk to my royal bedroom was mercifully short, and not for the first time did I ponder teleporting where I really wanted to be. Once inside my chambers, I quickly kicked off my golden horseshoes, lifted off my peytral, lifted free my crown, and dropped the regalia onto my bed. For a moment I spared a glance at the huge expanse of fresh linen.
"I am so sorry," I said, and let loose a sigh.
With my horn energized, I mussed up the bed sheets, rumpled the covers, and tossed pillows to one side. I took no joy in messing up the bed—making it look slept in—but I did accept it as a needed thing. Needed for me.
Bed completely disheveled, I used my magic once more for an illusion. Brilliant gold light flared, and for an instant even I had to close my eyes against the brilliance. I turned, looking at the huge mirror that one wall of my bedroom wore, and saw an orange-coated pegasus with a brown mane. She smiled at me, and we both let loose a laugh. But the night wasn't even started yet.
Now I did teleport. Nopony should see this mare leaving Princess Celestia's bedroom. Predictably, I appeared in an out-of-the-way, empty bedroom in the lower quarters of Canterlot Castle. Ensuring I hadn't been seen, I lifted my head and trotted to the window, and jumped.
My wings snapped out and air gathered beneath them. I was shoved upwards, and let out a laugh of delight. If anypony saw Princess Celestia enjoying a casual fly around the castle, questions would be asked, but a drab pegasus mare would not be remarked upon.
Spiraling out from the castle, I rode the late thermals still rising along the mountain, and saw my target. The house was not grand, and it was not expansive. It was the house of a wonderful pair of ponies who had raised two very special foals.
I followed my gaze, gliding along until I simply ran out of altitude—right at the front gate of that house. My heart was still light, still soaring as I pranced up the path to the front door. I lifted my right hoof and gently knocked.
The door took nearly ten heartbeats before it opened; I knew because my heart thudded in my throat. It swung wide with an aura of cornflower blue guiding it.
"You're late. You know she doesn't like it when you're late," Night Light said, eyeing the pegasus at his door up and down.
I dipped my head and nodded.
"It's my fault. I will try to do better next time," I said.
"You don't play those games with me. This is between you and Twilight, Your—"
Night Light had to bite down on the honorific; of course he knew who I really was. Night Light was the most amazing stallion in Equestria. He understood his wife on a deeper level than anypony ever would. I loved all my little ponies, but Night Light was a standout among them.
"As you will. This is your house," I said.
"Well, there you are. This will take a lot longer, now," Twilight Velvet said, striding into the room.
My words caught in my throat, and I stood mute before her. Her eyes flashed with an intensity that put the sun to shame, and her will burned through the air around her, and it tangled around me. I dipped my head and strode forward, not stopping until I was before Twilight Velvet.
"I am sorry, Mistress," I whispered.
A light gray hoof stroked down my snout, petting me like a cherished animal. I leaned against the contact, feeling connected and safe for the first time all day.
"What do you need, Celestia?" Twilight Velvet asked me.
Using my name was a key, when in character, our names were our safety. She wanted to know what I wanted from her, and what she could give me—that only she could give me.
"Redemption, Twilight Velvet," I said, sotto voce.
"The whip then. Pet, you will tell me everything."
And like that Twilight Velvet was my mistress again, and I was hers to do with as she wanted. Our boundaries were forged by long hours together, and our needs were always evolving. I needed redemption, and she needed to whip me.
Mistress turned and walked back whence she came. Without her hoof on my nose I followed her towards the stairs, and continued up behind her.
"Drop the illusion. If I am to whip you properly I must be able to see the marks I leave," Mistress said.
I dropped the spell so fast it made a popping sound. I was once again an alicorn, but I was no princess tonight. I was not Celestia. I was Mistress' pet, and that was all I wanted to be until morning.
Not hiding my eagerness, I followed Mistress into the room opposite the master bedroom. The door slammed behind me the moment I was inside, and a second later I felt something pull around my neck.
As the collar closed about my throat, I felt muscles relax that I didn't even know were tense. Cerise magic fastened the strap at my throat, and I started to smile.
A sharp crack hit my right flank, lancing over soft flesh and cutie mark alike. I squealed in shock and my head snapped to look at Mistress. She raised an eyebrow at me, daring me to use her actual name. Biting down on the sting of pain that her whip-strike had laid upon me, I bowed my head to my mistress.
"You now know the price of lying, or holding anything back. You know the currency I will deal in tonight, but do you know what I will take in payment?" Mistress asked.
I shook my head.
Mistress practically glided over to me, her body moving in slow, sinuous lines. I envied her, after two foals she moved easier than I ever could. She lifted her snout up, and thanks to my bowed head she could reach one of my ears.
"I will take your pain. One way, or the other," Mistress said, punctuating her sentence with another crack of the whip.
My other flank bore a similar line of pain, now, to the first. A war took place within me as the strong alicorn who had stood for a thousand and change years demanded I take a stand. But Mistress' pet was a soft, simpering animal, and when she spoke the proud alicorn listened.
"Thank you, Mistress," I said, mimicking that soft mare's voice perfectly.
"Tell me, pet, what is your latest transgression?" Mistress asked me.
"Tirek. I underestimated him. I didn't move the moment I heard a rumor he was free of Tartarus. I let,"—I sobbed a deep, shuddering breath—"I let him almost take over. Twilight Sparkle saved Equestria, and saved me."
The whip came again, cracking at my hide, and I moaned this time. I could never tell another pony these things, I could never even tell my sister, but Mistress would hear everything I did. And more, Mistress would punish me for doing the wrong thing.
"There is more to this story, I think. I didn't whip you because you deserved it. I whipped you because you lied to your mistress. A lie by omission is still a lie," Mistress said.
"I-I-I foresaw it all. I saw that Twilight Sparkle had to fight him. I saw that he would come and try to steal all our magic. I had to do that! I couldn't break a vision!"
The whip didn't come this time. My eyes were screwed shut, and tears poured down my face, but the whip didn't come. A touch on my snout was everything I ever wanted, needed, and desired. Mistress stroked down my nose, and made soft, nickering sounds.
"You did the right thing, pet. Is there more?" Mistress asked. I had to nod.
"Sombra. I sent Shining and Cadance as a stop-gap measure. I knew the problem would need Twilight Sparkle to solve. Luna wanted to go with me, and if I still had the Elements of Harmony, I would have."
I shook, waiting for the whip.
"Why didn't you go?"
"I was scared. His magic it—it burns. Me in particular. The last time I had Luna to help me, and we had the Elements. I didn't want him to hurt me."
I shook in place, and the tears just wouldn't stop coming. Her hoof came again, and once more I felt a slow stroking down my snout. The tears turned to relief, but I could feel more in my heart.
"And Discord. I knew all it would take was a little disharmony and he would break free of his prison, but I didn't want him anywhere near me," I said. "He put a bridle on me once and—and it felt too good…"
"I know you like wearing bridles, my pet, don't fear I won't see the truth in your words. He mastered this world once, and mastered all the ponies upon it, but you beat him. You did well."
I shook my head, breaking the contact of Mistress' hoof from my snout.
"I should have buried him underground. I should have dumped his statue off at sea," I said, voice fumbling at excuses.
"No, Pet. You kept him somewhere you could keep an eye on him. You watched over him like a hawk. You did the right thing."
The hoof was back, and with the perspective of Mistress' words, I just let my tears flow and accepted her touch.
"Nightmare Moon," I said, without further prompting. "I planted the books to give Twilight Sparkle the knowledge she needed, and made sure she read them, but I couldn't go against my sister again."
Mistress didn't speak, she just raised the whip and struck. The crackle of pain spread from one flank, over my dock, and down the other side. I screamed at the indignity and pain both. I started babbling. The words that poured forth were nonsense; they were what I hoped Mistress wanted to hear.
Another crack of the whip, and I dropped to my belly before my mistress.
"I was scared of her. She was always stronger than me. Luna was—is—an amazing pony, but Nightmare Moon was all of that twisted. If I had gone and faced her at the Castle of the Two Sisters, I would have been forced to use the Elements of Harmony on her," I said, fighting against the tears that came. "The Elements would have reacted to my fear now as they did then. They needed friendship."
The whip touched me again, but this time it was coiled up and laying across my spine. The hoof was back on my nose, and my tears grew heavier.
Four secrets. Four of the heaviest burdens I had carried in a thousand years.
"It's alright, Pet. You told the truth, and those things are just what anypony would do," Mistress said, and I believed her. "You are just a pony. How many times have I told you that?"
Snorting at the tears and worse dribbling down my nose, I barked a nervous laugh.
"I don't know, Mistress. I lost count."
I tilted my head up from the floor, and looked at my mistress' smile, and I smiled back.
"You're just a pony, and you'll make mistakes from time to time. You have friends, family, who will be there for you. My daughter would walk before you into any battle with any monster, but this one,"—Mistress used her hoof to gather some of my tears—"is for me to do battle."
I pushed my head forward. The proud Princess Celestia wasn't in Twilight Velvet and Night Light's home. A white pony who just needed to be told that everything was okay was, however, and she pressed her face into Twilight Velvet's embrace, and kept weeping.
For joy.
I don't know how long I lay against her. My tears wouldn't stop, and neither did my mistress' soft words of reinforcement. The evening grew into night, and the night later still, but still she didn't leave me.
"Celestia," Twilight Velvet said.
I knew it was Twilight Velvet, and not Mistress, by my own name on her lips. Mistress would never call me by that name, I was only her pet. I lifted my tear-stained muzzle up to look at Twilight Velvet, and smiled.
"Celestia, you need to go back—"
I didn't want to leave. I wanted to be here forever. Forget Princess Celestia. Forget everything. But somepony needed to sit on the throne and make important decisions—even if some of them were bad ones.
"But if you raise the sun now, we can spend a few more minutes together," Twilight Velvet said.
She kissed the bridge of my nose, and a pristine white cloth floated over to us—born on cerise magic—and began drying my face. Princess Celestia's horn flared to life and pushed the day into motion. But I just lay here, enjoying a little closeness and a little tenderness, for just a little while longer.
Author's Note
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