Twilight Tries to Marry a Chair
It's a new day in Ponyville and Twilight is in her castle, alone. Spike is out camping with Thorax, Pharynx, and Ember. Applejack and Rarity are at the Sisterhooves Social with Sweetie and Apple Bloom. Fluttershy is out at tea with Zecora. Twilight is absolutely alone. After several hours of being alone, Twilight starts to lose it.
"Uh, I've read every book here! What else to do?" she mutters to herself. After a few hours of thinking, she falls down into her throne and begins to talk with a chair on the opposite side of the room.
"Oh, lovely day," says Twilight to the chair. "Sun in the sky. Rainbow overhead! Isn't it just great!"
"Oh sure," responds Twilight to herself (speaking for the chair). "I'd love to go outside and enjoy the sunshine for once." Twilight agrees with the chair and takes the chair outside and stands it up in her front yard.
"There," responds Twilight. "Isn't the fresh air nice?"
"Uh, huh, sure is," responds Twilight (speaking for the chair).
After several hours of talking with the chair, Twilight manages to get herself engaged to the piece of wood in front of several other ponies who look at her like she's crazy. "That pony needs help," says a unicorn mare named Moon Dust as she walks by. "She's absolutely crazy. I don't care if she's royalty. She's freaking out of her mind."
A few days later, Twilight attempts to marry the chair at the mayor's office but the mayor downright refuses to wed Twilight and the chair. "But I love the chair," Twilight insists. "Do your job and wed us?"
"Sorry, but the best I can do is give you an insanity plea," responds the mayor, "Twilight you need help."
"What? No, I don't!" responds Twilight as her ear twitches. "I'm perfectly fine! I'm not crazy!"
"Yes, hon, you are out of your mind. Yes, Twilight, you do need help," responds the mayor calmly. The mayor then drags Twilight out of her office and takes her to counseling herself. At counseling, Twilight shoots down everything the counselor asks her. The counselor then looks around scared for her own safety.
"She's crazy beyond fixing," says the counselor to herself.
A few weeks later, Twilight is put into a psychiatric facility for about a year until she finally snaps back to reality. Once she's back to reality, Twilight is let out of the facility and returns home to her castle. "Wow. I can't believe I actually tried to marry a chair. Wow. Just wow." Once back at her castle, Twilight just sits down and doesn't read for several weeks straight. She instead just does her best to chill. She sorts through boxes. She doodles on some empty scrolls. After a few weeks, she finally picks back up the Daring Do series and begins to read it again. The ponies are never going to let it go that she almost married a chair and she knows it. She is now scared to show her face in public. She will now forever be known as the princess who tried to marry a chair.
A year later, Twilight finally goes back out into public and she's surprised that she is greeted with great big hugs from everypony. "Welcome back to reality, princess!" she hears from everypony. "Glad to have you back!"
"Thanks," responds Twilight. "I'm glad to be back." She then continues on her merry way until she reaches Sugar Cube Corner, where she is embraced in a great big group hug from all her best friends.
"We're glad you're back to normal, back to reality," says Applejack with a smile.
"Yes, we're also glad you got the help you needed," responds Rarity.
"Yeah, what kind of pony tries to marry a chair? No offense," responds Rainbow with a laugh.
"None taken," responds Twilight. "I was just bored to the point I snapped."
"Could be worse!" says Pinkie with a smile. "I've heard of a pony that tried to marry a super-sized Ken doll!"
"Yeah, could definitely be worse," laughs Twilight.
A few minutes later, the friends let go of their group hug and go and sit down and enjoy some nice milkshakes and freshly baked cupcakes. All the while, Twilight is still not over the fact that she tried to marry a chair. She also can't believe that Pinkie basically compared her to Lyra trying to marry a super-sized Ken doll. She honestly doesn't know what to think about that. A few seconds later, Twilight lets it go and just gets back to enjoying her milkshake and her cupcake.
An hour later, the six friends leave Sugar Cube Corner and go enjoy riding the new roller coaster at Pony Paradise Falls Amusement Park. All the while, they laugh and giggle as they go over the hills and around the loops. Twilight missed this sort of thing while she was locked in the facility. She's glad to be back out and enjoying time with her friends. It's the best therapy in the world in her mind right now. A few minutes later, they hop off the coaster and go and ride everything else in the amusement park. Once they're done there, they go to the Hay Burger for lunch where Twilight happily downs about twenty hay burgers. "Man! I missed these so much!" says Twilight as she inhales the hay burgers. By the end of lunch, Twilight ends up downing around fifty hay burgers total. Her friends are, needless to say, impressed. Once they leave the burger place, they drop Twilight back off at the castle because she's ready for some rest. The rest of them then go off and hang out at the bowling alley for several hours before going and enjoying a movie together. Meanwhile, back at her castle, Twilight continues to read Daring Do quietly in her bedroom while Spike sleeps over in his bed. As she reads, Twilight just smiles down at him. "Oh Spike," says Twilight. "I missed you most of all." She then pets him on the head before she gets back to the book in her hooves. "I got sane for you and that is plenty enough reason to stay sane in my eyes. I'll never try to marry a chair ever again. That much I know for certain."
