My Little Bandicoot: Magic vs. Science

by BlazingShadowBrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Comedy, Other, Adventure, Crossover, Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Zecora, Alternate Universe
Length: 4276

What if everyone's favorite bandicoot and scientist were mixed with ponies? Randomness and comedy!

Cortex has done it this time! In a mad quest to use the power crystals and the colored gems, he opened a portal to another earth. One he hoped to conquer without that bandicoot to stop him. But it was a save in the nick of time, as said bandicoot and his younger sister took all the clear gems and followed Cortex.

Nopony would have ever guessed that these three could cause so much trouble.

(I would like to give credit to Koromoshi from DeviantArt for the wonderful image! Also, this crossover is completely my idea, if it has been done before, I haven't seen it.)

Published 2011-12-07 00:52:50 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-17 04:21:54 UTC

Chapter 1-Separated Bandicoots, the Ponies Who Met Them and Mind-Controlled Manticores

Chapter 1

Separated Bandicoots, the Ponies Who Met Them and Mind-Controlled Manticores

What ever had shaken the lab had finished and all was still. *creak. crash* Well, almost. The lab needed repairs and power. The figure walked over to his nearly shattered control panel. "Confound it all! Everything's ruined! At least the crystals and gem are still in pl..." at that moment, the power sapper which took power from the master and slave crystals, exploded. The explosion sent every crystal flying off in different directions, "...ace?" Cortex fell to his knees, "No, NO! Now the bandicoot...is gone!" the mad scientist got up to his feet and danced, Russian folk dance style, but he danced, laughing the whole while.

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The explosion had separated the bandicoots, while sending them off flying. Only one was his normal self, and he stuffed his finger in his ear. He somehow pulled out a Wumpa fruit out of his ear, and tossed it before he hit a wall. When he hit he let out an iconic "Woah!" before he passed out on the owner's front mat. Coco, though, had a relatively better outcome, as she landed in a tree, her coveralls snagged on a branch that was filled with...Wumpa Fruits? No, those grew on the palm trees of Insanity Island. These were a fruit she had never seen before, but she didn't think about it for too long. Coco hadn't expected to land in an orchard, more or less in a position that was very uncomfortable. Her coveralls were riding up and giving her a wedgie any male would have cringed at, and her t-shirt tore in the back, so Coco could feel some of the leaves on her back and, she would never admit it, but it was tickling her so badly she started laughing out loud. She soon became numb to them as the sun started to rise.

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Applejack was up before the sun, as usual, and was beginning to work on her chores for the day when a loud explosion made her turn her head to the Everfree. She saw a large number of purple lights emerge from the trees and spread out across the horizon and towards Ponyville. "What in tarnation!?" she then heard a louder crash than the explosion near the middle of the orchard. She saw a purple glow coming from that area almost as if it was filled with too much magic. Well ah could go see what the hay that was. But if it's magic, ah'd better get Twilight. the orange earthmare nodded at her idea and galloped off to the library.

Meanwhile-Fluttershy's Cottage

Fluttershy was having the most wonderful dream of an orange pegasus stallion in shining armor. She was swept off her hooves as he held her in one of his forehooves, and he leaned in to kiss her. She blushed furiously, but returned the motion. Their lips were about to meet, she blushed a brighter red, and his breath was warm, and then...*thumpthumpthumpthump*!

"Hmm?" Fluttershy was shaken awake by a small white rabbit, whom Fluttershy smiled softly at, "Oh Angel Bunny, are you hungry?" the white rabbit shook his head, "Are you hurt?" Angel shook his head harder, he had been pointing at the stairs since she woke up, "Do you need something downstairs?" The rabbit's expression deadpanned at his softhearted and sometime oblivious owner. He hopped down from the bed and hopped down the stairs, the sleepy pegasus following close behind, her mind still feeling the intensity of her dream. She blushed a bit as she remembered that stallion, but stopped when Angel pointed at the door urgently.

"I don't see why you can't go inside, you have a toilet." Fluttershy said absentmindedly, refering to Angel's house inside the cottage, of which she built herself, she opened the door anyways just because she knew if she didn't she would get a carrot to the back of the head, "Okay Angel, there you go." Fluttershy flew to the side with the door in her hooves and eyes closed. She waited a bit before she got a cough from her little companion. She looked at the bunny, who was pointing at something outside. "Is there a wild animal out there?" this got a shake of the head and a louder cough, "Is it a manticore!?" this was a new one, he slapped his face with his paw then coughed a very coltly cough as he hopped outside and jumped up and down on top of an orange mound of fur and, was that denim, Fluttershy knew that was a very rare material for clothes, Wait, clothes? as soon as the thought entered her mind, it got a result, which turned out more like a panicked pegasus floating over an unconscious bandicoot trying to figure out if it was alive. Sooner or later, Fluttershy took the surprisingly light bandicoot into the cottage and rushed to get the first-aid kit. While she franticly searched for the kit though, her unexpected guest woke up, looking around and scratching his head. He got up and his eye twitched as he realized he had another Wumpa fruit stuck in his ear. He stuck his finger in it and pulled the rogue fruit out. He tossed it over his shoulder and scratched his belly.

"Okay I found it! Now let's get you patched up. Eep!" Fluttershy darted into the nearest hole at the sight of the walking patient. He noticed and looked into it, a smile plastered on his face. He only saw eyes as the frightened pegasus looked at him. Oblivious to the fact she was frightened, he waved, but when he didn't get results he only shugged and walked away. He immediately stopped at the sound of clucking chickens. When Fluttershy saw him head out the door towards her chickens, she flew after him, watching from affar as he chased Elizibeak. When he caught her, sat and scratched his head, obviously confused at the fact he had caught the chicken. But it didn't last, he hugged the chicken and set it free, deciding to focus on the goats instead. Fluttershy was more comfortable at approaching him after that, but she never got the chance.

Earlier-Cortex's lab, Everfree Forest

Cortex had been busy all morning creating a mind controlling helmet so he could control a large animal to take him to the nearest crystal. He saw it land somewhere near his lab, but when it landed it was accompanied by a loud roar, like Tiny's! The useless imbecile was probably banging his head against a rock. Now cortex had a problem, he needed to get the device on an animal first. He quickly created a remote controlled hovering bot that he could use to place the device and give orders through. "Dr. Neo Cortex, you are a genius!" he said to himself, as he sent the bot, along with the device, off over the forest. He soon spotted a lion and sent the bot after it. "Mwahahahahaha! I've got you now! You're mine! HAHAHAHAHAHAHahahaha!?" the doctor was now confused, it was a lion, with large leathery wings and a scorpion's tail. "A manticore? Oh well, it's mine now!" the bot did it's job well. In fact, the manticore didn't even notice it was about to be outfitted with the helmet until it already was. It was pretty strong-minded, for an animal, but it had fallen under Cortex's control.

"Go and retrieve the power crystal!" the mad scientist commanded, the controlling helmet taking the command and forcing the wearer to obey. Problem was, because the manticore had no idea what a power crystal was, is sat down. Cortex facepalmed, then gave another order, "Follow the flying robot." The manticore only knew flying and assumed the talking metal thing was a robot, so it followed it. It hovered over a glowing crystal and told the manticore, "This is a power crystal, grab it and follow the robot." The manticore was hating the fact it couldn't do anything to the robot, it hated taking orders, let alone from something that caused it to be taking orders in the first place. It grabbed the crystal and put it in it's mouth. As soon as it did the power crystal surged and sent a ripple of power out in a small radius. Cortex lost control of both machines, and this resulted in a short-circuit with the helmet. The manticore now growled, it headed in the direction of the pegasus that took care of it not too long ago, one thing on it's mind, well...two things, help and destroy! Cortex was dumbfounded when the helmet's readings came back on-line. "It's making it...evil?" he stared at the screen, then smiled. He set off to create more helmets out of his nearly destroyed lab.

Present time-Fluttershy's cottage

Fluttershy shrieked as a manticore burst out of the forest, a strange helmet on his head and a purple crystal in his mouth. He saw Fluttershy and charged towards her. Fluttershy's wings glued themselves to her sides out of pure terror. This manticore was filled with bloodlust and had the pegasus in it's sights. Fluttershy closed her eyes as she awaited her doom, but when it didn't come, she dared to peek out at the scene before her, and she gasped. The orange bandicoot was riding on the manticore's back, making it stab itself with it's tail. It was soon slowed down in it's rampage and the bandicoot jumped off, and then it spun around really fast, hitting the manticore and causing to fall over. During all this, the bandicoot never lost it's smile, and in fact, grabbed the helmet and crystal. It looked at the crystal and nodded, then looked at the helmet and tossed it behind him. It landed at Fluttershy's hooves and crackled, it reminded her of a machine in Twilight's basement. She checked on the manticore, knowing it was the one she helped earlier that week, she put some bandages on it and flew up to the bandicoot. "Um...could you come with me...that is if you don't mind." she said in a barely audible whisper.

The bandicoot nodded enthusiastically, allowing the obviously shy Pegasus to lead the way. Fluttershy was uncomfortable about being near the bandicoot, but felt better knowing it was an animal, even if it took on a manticore and won. The two headed towards Twilight's library as fast as Fluttershy could gallop. The bandicoot kept up surprisingly well, despite running on two legs.

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Big Mac had gotten up a little late, but he got up before the sun got over the horizon, and he had a weird morning after that. He started the applebucking because AJ was missing, then he saw a purple glow and went to investigate, and then he got hit on the head with a couple of apples, thrown by what looked like a female bandicoot (He remembered Fluttershy talking about them, they weren't native to this area.) who was appologizing and asking if he could get her out of the tree she was stuck in. He obliged and caught her. She thanked him and asked if there was a town nearby. Big Mac decided to accompany her to Ponyville instead of just tell her, just in case. He offered her a ride and she accepted, she talked alot but Big Mac listened. His manners were perfected from years of living with Granny Smith and his own personality. It soon got to the point where they talked about nothing inperticular, but enough that Big Mac asked about where the bandicoot came from. This escalated to a conversation about each-other's worlds all the way to Ponyville.

End of first chapter.

Author's note: Don't hold back. I know I made you wait and the content might not be enough but I'm ready for your criticism. Let the comments fly! Ack! Not so hard! I need you all to tell me what's wrong with my chapter before I move on to the next one. I look forward to it. ;)

Chapter 2-Shattering the Perfect World (WiP)

Chapter 2

Shattering the Perfect World

*Knock knock*
*CRASH*

Twilight and Spike jumped out of their seats at the sound of their front door being knocked over. They ran out and saw an orange bandicoot wearing pants, holding a purple crystal, and a smile plastered to his face, standing with his foot out.

"Oh-oh m-my! I-I-I apologize Twilight. M-m-my friend here i-is a bit i-i-impatient." Fluttershy stuttered as she flew into the library Twilight called home. She looked at the bandicoot and shuddered, "M-may I speak with you, please."

Twilight looked at her shy friend, "Fluttershy? What is that bandicoot doing wearing pants and breaking down doors?"

Fluttershy looked at her friend with tears in her eyes, "I-I don't know. I found him on my doorstep, knocked out and upside-down. I honestly down know where he came from, but he won't speak to me."

"You know animals can't speak right?" Twilight said with a raised eyebrow.

"But he can. He usually says 'woah' but he won't speak to me." Fluttershy said, sounding annoyed. As if to prove her point, the bandicoot tripped and smashed his face into a bookshelf and yelled out, "WOAH!"

The book-smart unicorn grinned a bit, before grabbing a book off of a shelf with her magic and reading aloud, "Baboon. Badger. Ah, Bandicoot!"

At the sound of his species being called out, the bandicoot looked at the unicorn, an oblivious smile still stuck on his face.

"Wow! That there sounds like a strange neighborhood tah live in," Big Mac said to the little bandicoot riding on his back, "That reminds me, this whole trip we've talked, yet ah never caught yer name."

"Oh! Your right. My name is Coco Bandicoot. What's yours?" Coco asked the red work pony.

"Ah'm Bic Macintosh, but most ponies call me Big Mac. Now, y'all say you got a brother that flew off. What should ah be lookin' fer." Bic Mac said, having finally reached the outskirts of Ponyville.

Coco put her hand to her chin, "Well, he's tall, wears blue jeans, a pair of red and white sneakers, and has a smile on his face 24/7. He also says..."

"WOAH!"

"Yeah, that!" Coco said, having only a second before she realized only one bandicoot sounded that way, "THAT'S CRASH!"

Big Mac looked towards the library, as the noise came from there. "Well we better get there fast. Wouldn't y'all say?" Big Mac said calmly as he galloped towards the library.

Cortex sent out only one more robot, just to scout, and nearly toppled over from the sight of a Hydra on the screen. After that, he sent out three more robots, and had all four of them attach a mind-controlling helmet to each head. Then he sent the creature to scout outside the forest it resided in, when he saw a town. A very primitive-like town with a power crystal energy signature coming from it.

Cortex grinned, "Attack." He commanded, and the Hydra roared.

Twilight, Fluttershy, Crash and Spike all froze.

"A-a-a-a h-hy-hydra!?" Fluttershy stuttered out, just before another roar tore through Ponyville, "B-b-but hydras n-n-never l-leave the forest."

Twilight dropped the book and looked out a window, and nearly screamed. This was a fully mature hydra that was attacking, and it had it's sights set on...the library. "We need to go, now!"

*CRASH*

"IS THAT SCRAGGLY ORANGE DOLT CRAZY!?" Twilight screamed as she watched the bandicoot in denim run straight towards the creature.

"W-well, he did fight a rampaging manticore," whispered Fluttershy, which earned her a surprised look from Twilight.

Spike walked up between the two mares and bluntly stated, "I think he's gonna get killed."

"Crash!?" Coco blurted out as her big brother zoomed passed her and Big Mac, who was now getting her to safety.

Cortex laughed harder, as the hydra lumbered onward. But then, the hydra stopped looking at the large tree towards the middle of town, and focused on an orange blur. No, it was orange and blue, like denim jeans blue.

"No...It can't be. It's not possible...it can't be the meddling bandicoot. IT CAN'T BE MY CREATION CRASH BANDICOOT!" Cortex screamed, but it was unmistakable. Everything else fled, yet this blur went straight towards the hydra, and as it got closer, Cortex could see those pearly whites.

The hydra lunged one of it's heads at the bandicoot, "NO!" Cortex scrambled for his microphone, but it was too late. The hydra's helmet was destroyed by a spin from the cursed bandicoot.

Crash jumped on the lunging head, and saw a device with the Cortex insignia. Despite being a complete idiot, he knew that this device needed to be destroyed and disposed of. With a quick spin he knocked it clean off, destroying it in the process, before running along the dazed hydra's neck and coaxing the other heads to try a bite. Each head took the bait and was freed of Cortex's control. Of course, not without consequence. The hydra, exsausted from fighting the helmets control, collapsed and sent the orange bandicoot flying forward. He rolled and stopped, legs splayed and hands down in front, yet an unchanging smile stayed on his face as he stared at the multi-colored ponies and his sister.

Spike walked up to the bandicoot and said, "That was so cool!"

All the ponies cheered, having not met the bandicoot but understanding his heroism, and Coco hugged her brother.

Cortex tore at his hair in anger and, to be frank, insanity. The bandicoot arriving was the last straw, it was the breaking point for the scientist's mind.

"CURSE THAT BANDICOOT!" Cortex screamed, the hate filled words echoing through his empty lab.

*Beep* *Beep*

"Huh?" Cortex looked up at the energy signatures coming from a half-destroyed helmet. "Something, just as powerful as the crystals? In some, ponies? This world is inhabited by ponies? Heh. Haha! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

What does Cortex have in mind for the peaceful Equestrians?
What is this power(as if you don't already know)?
What happened to Applejack?
Why am I asking questions?

Find out later, in Chapter 3!

Author's Note: Editing in the future, for now...bandicoots and ponies.

Intermission-What if?

Intermission-What if?

Hello fillies and gentlecolts, I am Blaze the administrator of the stories you ar reading, I go by BlazingShadowSword and BlazingShadowBrony so I am easy to find. I am here to give you scenarios of what would happen if I used my authory powers to give you something to laugh at.

"Ooh ooh! Can I help!?"

Yes Pinkie, your going to help these good readers laugh as I give them visuals unique to them. And you need to go back in order to do that.

"Okie dokie lokie, Mr. Author person!"

And now I give you, What If?

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What if, Crash met the crazy Pinkie from Cupcakes?

Crash woke up, strapped to a table, his hands were unable to move and his feet spread out a bit. But in all this he couldn't see a thing, and had one thing on his mind.

"Ooh goody your awake! I didn't want to start without you." said a voice all too familiar to Crash. He looked at the pink face emerging from the shadows, a scalpel in her mouth, "I wouldn't want you to miss out on making cupcakes!"

At the mention of food, Crash started drooling, but as it was when he didn't move for a while his eye twitched, his smile disappeared, and his head tilted to the side. He scrunched his eyes shut and puffed out his cheeks. After about 2 seconds of this he got relief in the form of two Wumpa Fruits shooting out of his ears. One splated against the wall of the dark room, the other bounced around, eventually smacking Pinkie right in the face, splatting comically as it did so. Crash immediately tried to spin, and then tornado spin, and finally broke free of the restraints. He smiled and spun at the pink party pony, knocking her unconscious. He then turned to no one inperticular and said, "Being evil is too easy! Hahahahaha!" before his face became deformed and ugly compared to the handsome hero. He laughed as he held up a scalpel, "Cupcakes anyone?"

*Not Twinsanity Evil Crash, the one from the PS1 series of games. So far as I know, he has so little character development and so can be made to be anything I want.*
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What if Pinkie taught Crash to break the fourth wall?

"Woah!" Crash fell once again as he tried to get the makeshift wings on his arms to work. He was trying to race Rainbow Dash because he wasn't all there in the head, to be frank...he's an idiot with power. But Pinkie thought of something that might work for the heroic bandicoot.
"Ooh ooh! Mr. Bandicoot! Come here please!" Crash did as he was asked, rubbing his head from the falls. Pinkie motioned for him to move really close, and whispered a secret into his ear. The bandicoot took his place at the start line, and got ready to run, as his rainbow maned challenger got ready to fly.
Spike was the one to start the race and both competitors took off, the bandicoot noticeably much slower. Bu the rainbow pegasus only focused on the objective, and yet when she reached it the bandicoot was waiting for her , as soon as he saw her, he began his trek back.

Rainbow immediately stopped and rubbed her head at the feat, wondering how in the world the slow bandicoot managed to beat her to the top of a mountain, let alone a cliff that would have been impossible to reach without wings. But when he jumped off and spun really fast, slowing his decent. It was possible he got up there like that, but he couldn't have gotten there so fast. Rainbow shook her head and reached the spot on the mountain then turned to see the bandicoot still making his decent. She smiled and took off, the bandicoot was clearly not gonna win. She saw the finish line and was about to cross it when she saw something orange blur out from under her, holding a square panel of some sort. He crossed the finish line moments before her, and smashed into a wall. He astounded the six ponies who watched, all with jaws scraping the ground.

Later the bandicoot appeared with his arms filled with Wumpa fruits as a gift to Rainbow for allowing him to race her. She was confused at where he got them, they grew on his home world, not here, but he left just as quickly as he came.

And now dear reader, take a look, your crackers are now gone. Also, your left sock is missing, and one pair of your shoes. How do I know? Crash took them because he broke the fourth wall, how else was he able to get the quick run ability to beat Dash? Beware, he might take your favorite comb next. *laughs really hard*

...and now, that concludes this episode of What If?

Prologue-CURSED BANDICOOTS

Prologue

CURSED BANDICOOTS

"No! I will win! I will triumph!" the yellow scientist yelled out, his large head, which strangely enough had a capital N on it, was taking up most of the space in the cockpit of his machine.

"Give it up Cortex! You won't leave, we won't let you take over an alternate earth!" yelled the blond-haired, orange-furred, coverall-wearing, female bandicoot who could only be known as Coco Bandicoot. Her big brother, the real hero, Crash Bandicoot stuck his tongue out and nodded his head really hard.

"I still have the power crystals and master crystal! Not to mention all five colored gems!" Cortex had to act now, or it would all be for naught. He smiled, "I'm afraid I must be going. Goodbye FOREVER!" Cortex opened the portal, and ejected himself. He had the portal rigged so most of his lab would appear in the alternate world, but not the part with the bandicoots. He was taking the crystals and colored gems with him so his conquest would be absolute.

"What are you doin' standin' there!?" Coco turned to see her adopted elder brother, Crunch, running up and keeping the quickly sealing door open, "Go! I'll protect the island while you're gone!" Crash just silently nodded and crawled under, Coco followed suit and soon most of the lab was gone, and Crunch wondered whether he should be worried for his creator, or his younger sis. He decided to worry about what Crash was going to do to Cortex, only because he knew he was missing out on beating the snot out of Cortex. "Dang! I would have followed him if I didn't need to protect the island. Give 'im one for me Crash!"

Meanwhile-Twilight's balcony

"Hmm? What is that?" Twilight levitated a pair of binoculars up to her eyes with her magic. She was astounded at what she saw. It looked like a really strange castle suddenly appeared out in the middle of the Everfree forest, it was also very well lit. This was important enough for the princess. "Owlicious. Take a letter."

End of prologue!

Author's note: I know, I've already got two stories in the works, but I have a plan for those two to work in conjunction at a certain point I haven't reached yet. So until I get another editor, enjoy this story of complete and total chaos!